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5: Gentleness · Finding God at Work

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  (Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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  This is Finding God at Work.
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  In our current series, Fruitful Work, we're asking
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  the question, what kind of fruit at work
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  am I bearing?
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  Because we often don't bear the fruit that
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  we wish we would.
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  But by God's grace, by the power of
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  the Holy Spirit, we can learn to bear
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  fruit that is good.
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  And we're working backwards through the list of
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  the parts of the fruit of the Spirit
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  in Galatians chapter 5 that the Apostle Paul
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  gives us.
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  It ends with self-control, which we looked
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  at in our last episode, so one step
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  back leads us to gentleness as part of
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  the fruit of the Spirit.
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  I was thinking about gentleness and what are
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  passages in Scripture that speak to gentleness?
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  And one of the most poignant and most
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  powerful actually comes from the teaching of Jesus
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  himself.
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  This is in Matthew chapter 11 when he
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  says, Come to me, all who labor and
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  are heavy laden, and I will give you
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  rest.
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  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from
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  me.
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  For I am gentle and lowly in heart,
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  and you will find rest for your souls.
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  For my yoke is easy, and my burden
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  is light.
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  Charles Spurgeon once pointed out that out of
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  all the teachings of Jesus, this is the
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  only one where he describes his own heart,
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  and he describes it as gentle and lowly.
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  So how can we define gentleness?
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  This is a virtue that's not always honored
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  in our culture.
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  I think about our action movie Heroes.
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  My wife and I just watched a Bruce
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  Willis flick recently, and Bruce Willis does not
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  convey a spirit of gentleness primarily in all
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  of his action flicks, particularly among men.
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  There can be a sense of gentleness being
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  associated with weakness, and gentleness is connected with
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  weakness, but maybe not in the way we
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  would expect.
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  There's a Christian psychologist named Dr. Jim Wilder,
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  and he talks about having a tender response
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  to the weakness of another, and he uses
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  that phrase in the context of brain scientists.
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  He calls himself a neurotheologian.
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  It's really fun.
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  You can look him up, but it's also
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  just a fantastic definition of the part of
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  the fruit of the spirit translated gentleness, a
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  tender response to the weakness of others.
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  I think about my goddaughter.
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  She has a younger brother.
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  She has two younger brothers now, but when
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  her first younger brother was born, she was
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  just so excited.
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  She was only a couple years older than
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  him, so a toddler herself, and she would
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  just really want to hug him.
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  And so one of the greatest dangers to
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  his young life was the enthusiasm of his
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  older sister because she didn't know how to
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  be gentle yet.
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  And so we would use the word gentle
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  a lot when Caitlin was interacting with her
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  younger brother in those early months.
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  And why did we need her to be
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  gentle?
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  Well, because her younger brother was weak.
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  He was an infant.
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  He was a newborn.
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  His body was fragile.
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  And so we needed to encourage her to
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  have a tender response to his weakness, enthusiastic.
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  Yes, but also tender, careful, gentle because his
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  life was precious.
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  Now the opposite of a tender response to
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  another's weakness is a harsh response to another's
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  weakness.
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  And that so often is our default as
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  human beings.
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  When we interact with other people, so we
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  have a harsh response to the weakness of
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  others.
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  And this can be particularly true in the
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  workplace.
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  Think about how easy it is to judge
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  a co-worker if it seems like they're
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  not doing a very good job in some
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  way.
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  Rather than immediately responding with compassion, I tend
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  to immediately respond with judgment, like, oh, that
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  person was late to the meeting or that
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  person didn't get their job done on time.
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  Or, oh, that person really isn't competent in
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  this role.
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  I can just have that inner critic going
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  on and on and on repetitively in work
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  situations.
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  I have a harsh response to other people's
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  weakness.
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  But it's interesting.
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  Often we do not express these things out
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  loud, right?
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  So you might be in a certain workplace
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  where it's just rough and tumble.
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  People say what they think.
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  They're cussing at each other all the time.
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  I've talked with a friend of mine who
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  works outdoors with an electrician crew and he's
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  like, yeah, when people don't like you, you
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  know, it's not hard to figure out.
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  But maybe in quote unquote nicer environments, right?
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  People are polite, but that doesn't mean that
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  the heart is all that different, right?
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  It may actually be better in terms of
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  virtue.
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  The person who wants to cuss someone out
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  and does cuss them out may be more
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  virtuous than the person who wants to cuss
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  someone out but pretends to like them because
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  that person is a hypocrite, right?
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  And that's often who I am in the
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  office.
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  I'm so nice to everybody.
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  I have kind words for everyone while this
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  inner critic is still running its monologue of
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  judgment.
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  And we can think about this in different
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  relationships.
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  If you have a relationship with a boss,
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  often everybody's polite to the boss because they're
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  in charge.
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  If you have a relationship with a peer,
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  well, you don't want to burn your bridges.
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  If you have a relationship to a subordinate,
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  sometimes they're the easiest person to lash out
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  at because you're in charge and they're not.
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  If you have someone that reports to you,
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  but something can change this and what can
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  change it is the status of the person
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  who you're frustrated with.
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  So let me give an example from when
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  I worked at a mortgage company.
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  We'll change his name.
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  We'll call him Hank the Intern.
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  Hank the Intern was a high school intern,
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  but he was the son of one of
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  our top performing loan officers.
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  And so regardless of what you thought of
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  Hank the Intern, everybody spoke well of Hank
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  the Intern because why?
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  Well, because of his status as the son
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  of this top performing loan officer, you don't
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  want you don't want to get on the
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  bad side of Hank the Intern because maybe
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  he'll talk to his dad and get on
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  the bad side of his dad and that's
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  because his dad has tons of influence at
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  the company.
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  So everybody was polite to Hank the Intern.
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  Everybody applauded the efforts of Hank the Intern.
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  Hank the Intern was like a graphic design
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  intern.
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  I'm not in a position to judge whether
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  he was good at his job or not,
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  but I just noticed like people talked to
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  Hank the Intern differently than they talked to
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  the other interns.
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  It was different because of his status.
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  And so we can think about this in
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  terms of the preciousness of a human being.
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  Is Hank the Intern more precious?
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  Well, because of his status as that loan
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  officer's son, he was precious in a way
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  to us.
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  Even if he wasn't personally precious, even if
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  we didn't have a deep affection for him,
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  we would restrain ourselves in terms of how
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  we talked with him.
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  But what God invites us into is to
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  view every human being as precious.
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  Jesus says, come to me all you who
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  are weary and heavy laden and I will
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  give you rest.
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  To see every human being as someone who
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  bears the image of God, someone who is
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  precious in God's sight, and someone who because
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  they bear that status is worthy of our
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  affection, of our care, of our respect.
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  So what causes us to not respond to
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  people like this?
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  What causes us to be harsh?
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  Well, we're more harsh when we're stressed.
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  We're more harsh when we're in a hurry.
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  We're more harsh when we're afraid that we're
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  not going to get everything done that we
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  need to.
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  We're more harsh when we're afraid that someone
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  else will be mad at us.
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  It's because someone else might be harsh with
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  us that we can be harsh with others.
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  So this is one of those ways that
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  trauma can be passed along from person to
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  person.
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  You go through a traumatic experience.
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  You don't know what to do with that
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  pain.
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  And so you lash out at other people
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  and traumatize them.
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  Again, I mentioned my own inner critic because
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  I'm so harsh with myself, my own demands
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  of my own productivity and what I'm going
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  to get done.
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  I get so anxious and angry when I
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  feel like I can't get things done and
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  then I'm harsh with other people.
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  And this is worse when it's a person
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  who's in authority, right?
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  If you have a boss who actually is
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  a harsh taskmaster toward you, then it can
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  be really hard to not be harsh toward
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  other people because you're being held to account
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  by this harsh person.
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  But all of us as disciples of Jesus
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  ultimately report to someone besides our boss at
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  work.
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  We report to Jesus himself.
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  And Jesus describes himself as gentle and lowly.
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  Jesus is not a harsh taskmaster.
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  I want to read just a brief description
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  from a pastor and scholar named Dane Ortland
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  about this passage where Jesus describes himself as
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  gentle and lowly.
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  Pastor Ortland writes, Meek, humble, gentle.
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  Jesus is not trigger happy, not harsh, reactionary,
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  easily exasperated.
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  He is the most understanding person in the
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  universe.
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  The posture most natural to him is not
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  a pointed finger, but open arms.
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  That's from Dane Ortland's book, which is also
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  called Gentle and Lowly.
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  So our view of Jesus is really consequential
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  for the way we live our lives.
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  If we believe that Jesus is harsh towards
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  us, then we will be harsh towards other.
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  If we believe that Jesus has unreasonable expectations
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  that we cannot fulfill, then we will not
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  be able to have a tender response to
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  others, other people's weaknesses.
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  But if we see Jesus as someone who
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  is truly gentle, then we will find the
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  freedom to be gentle towards others even when
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  they are harsh toward us.
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  When your boss speaks a harsh word to
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  you, but you know there's a greater master
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  in heaven that has your back.
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  It allows you to not return harshness for
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  harshness, but to be gentle and to stand
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  up for yourself if you need to.
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  So how do we live this out?
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  Well, the first thing we need to do
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  is fill our imagination with the gentle image
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  of Jesus.
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  When we see Jesus more clearly for who
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  he really is, it will help us be
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  gentle towards others.
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  One thing that can really help in this
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  regard is Christian art.
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  I have a painting by Rembrandt that I
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  love called The Young Jew as Christ.
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  He painted this in 1648.
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  Some of the background that you may know,
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  the Jews were expelled from Catholic Spain in
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  the 1400s.
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  One of the nations that many of them
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  went to was the Netherlands.
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  So there's a Jewish community in Amsterdam and
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  Rembrandt actually lived in what was called the
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  Jewish Quarter, very near that Jewish community.
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  And so there was a young Jewish man
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  that he asked to be a model so
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  that he could paint a face of Christ
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  or a head of Christ in a way
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  that reflected Jesus's own historical ethnicity, which was
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  at the time groundbreaking within European Christian art.
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  And this particular painting, if you look at
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  it, I encourage you to look it up,
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  it just shows the gentleness of Jesus.
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  His openness, his compassion just leaps off of
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  the paint.
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  You can see in his eyes the way
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  he takes in whoever it is that he's
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  looking at with true love.
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  Sometimes when I pray, I'll just get that
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  painting out and look at it.
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  Something else that we can practice is how
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  are we relating to the people around us
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  at the level of the heart, right?
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  We have a real good ability to be
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  polite externally, but are we relating to other
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  people at a heart level from that gentleness
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  that Jesus models for us?
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  C.S. Lewis has this great quote in
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  Mere Christianity.
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  He says, natural liking or affection for people
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  makes it easier to be charitable towards them.
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  It is therefore normally a duty to encourage
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  our affections, to like people as much as
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  we can, just as it is often our
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  duty to encourage our liking for exercise or
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  wholesome food, not because this liking is itself
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  the virtue of charity, but because it is
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  a help to it.
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  So when you think about a co-worker
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  who you tend to dislike, it's actually your
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  moral Christian duty as a Jesus to like
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  them if you can.
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  And so one thing that can help with
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  this is to look out for the successes
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  of the people that annoy you.
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  So our natural posture of the inner critic
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  is when someone annoys us to look out
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  for their failures and to be like, see,
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  I'm right, then they're incompetent.
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  Instead, look out for their successes, celebrate their
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  successes, encourage them.
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  And in other practices, we can pray for
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  the people, the people who are hardest for
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  us to like, the people who are most
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  annoying, pray for them, pray that they would
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  succeed, pray that they would be well.
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  And you'll find that Jesus is making your
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  heart rest in his love more and more
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  over time.
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  We can have a tender response to weakness
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  because Jesus is tender and his response to
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  our weakness.
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  He is the one who is gentle and
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  lowly in heart.
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  And when we come to him, we find
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  a rest for our souls.
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  Lord Jesus, we do want to rest in
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  you.
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  Show us how to love with your kind
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  of gentleness.
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  Show us how to be gentle and lowly
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  in heart.
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  To set aside the things that keep us
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  from honoring every human being as precious.
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  Give us your tender response to the weaknesses
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  of others.
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  Do your work in us as we do
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  our work with you.
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  Amen.
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  Thanks for listening.
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  dedicated to forming Christians for mission in everyday
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