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8: Kindness · Finding God at Work

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  (Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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  This is Finding God at Work.
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  In our current series, Fruitful Work, we're asking
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  the question, what kind of fruit am I
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  bearing at work?
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  Because if we're honest, we don't always bear
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  the kind of fruit we wish we would.
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  But by God's grace, by the power of
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  the Holy Spirit, we can bear fruit that
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  is good.
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  We've been working backwards through the Apostle Paul's
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  list of the parts of the fruit of
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  the fruit, so we did goodness in our
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  last episode, and that brings us back to
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  kindness in this episode.
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  I want to start with a story.
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  Back in 2019, a photo went viral on
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  social media of two second-grade students in
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  Maniha Elementary School in Wichita, Kansas.
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  It was from the first day of school
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  in late August, and one of these students,
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  whose name was Connor, was crying, and the
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  other student, whose name was Christian, was standing
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  next to him holding his hand.
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  The story behind the photo is that Connor
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  has autism, and it was the first day
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  of second grade.
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  It was overwhelming.
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  As you know, people with autism sometimes struggle
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  with transition and new things that can be
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  hard when there aren't routines yet, and so
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  he just started crying, and Christian saw him
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  and just made a beeline for him and
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  held his hand, and then walked him into
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  the school holding his hand.
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  And Connor says, he was kind to me.
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  I was in the first day of school,
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  and I started crying, and then he helped
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  me, and I was happy.
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  He found me and held my hand, and
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  I got happy tears.
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  Kindness makes such a difference, and we all
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  know this by experience.
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  We know that when someone is truly kind
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  to us, how deeply it can touch our
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  heart, and how we long to be able
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  to be kind to other people in that
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  way.
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  If we've had much experience with human relationships,
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  we know there's a big difference between kind
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  and just being nice.
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  Being nice can mean being polite, but it's
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  often just a way of avoiding conflict, of
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  saying positive things, even if they're untrue or
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  we don't believe them.
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  It's a way of promoting superficial social harmony.
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  But that kind of niceness can really just
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  be a mask, where you're friendly with what
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  you say, you're friendly with your facial expression,
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  but inside you may actually still hold the
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  other person in contempt.
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  You may feel superior towards them.
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  You may actually even hate them.
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  Kindness is totally different than that.
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  As we've been talking about in the fruit
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  of the spirit, the spirit works in our
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  heart, and then our words and our actions
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  demonstrate what's in our heart.
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  So the kind of kindness that the spirit
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  produces starts in the heart.
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  Just like with gentleness, we talked about that
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  as a tender response to the weaknesses of
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  someone else.
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  We can think of kindness as a tender
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  concern for someone else's well-being.
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  And so it really depends on what you
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  think about that person.
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  Are they truly precious to you?
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  Do you see them as someone who is
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  precious in the sight of God?
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  If you really believe that in your heart,
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  that will flow out of you in the
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  way that you interact with them.
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  Another way of understanding kindness in this specific
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  passage in Galatians is related to patience.
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  So our next episode is going to be
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  about patience.
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  Paul lists them right next to each other.
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  Patience, kindness.
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  And they're kind of like the Bonnie and
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  Clyde, partners in crime in the fruit of
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  the spirit, because you can't really have patience
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  without kindness.
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  They always seem to be buddies, to pair
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  up with each other.
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  Paul mentions them again, actually, three other times
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  in the New Testament.
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  So two of those times are in other
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  virtue lists, just like his Galatians 5, fruit
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  of the spirit, is a kind of virtue
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  list that he's putting within the theology of
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  grace and the theology of the Holy Spirit.
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  He has other virtue lists and other letters
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  that he writes.
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  So in his letter to the Colossians, chapter
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  3, verse 12, he says, Clothe yourselves with
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  compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
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  So there again, you see kindness and patience,
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  just a few words apart from each other.
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  In 2 Corinthians, Paul does the same thing
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  again with a kind of virtue list.
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  This is chapter 6, verses 4 through 6.
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  He says, As servants of God, we commend
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  ourselves in every way, in purity, understanding, patience,
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  and kindness, in the Holy Spirit, and in
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  sincere love.
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  So multiple times, when Paul's just deciding to
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  rattle off some Christian virtues, rattle off what
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  the Holy Spirit does in our lives, he
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  switches it up.
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  He doesn't always say the same words.
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  But whenever he says patience, he also says
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  kindness.
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  Whenever he says kindness, he also says patience.
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  They're meant to go together.
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  And this is intuitive for us, right?
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  Can you imagine somebody who's always impatient with
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  other people, but who's really kind?
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  No, you can't even imagine that, right?
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  To be kind to people, you have to
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  be patient with their flaws and their foibles.
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  That's just part of how it works.
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  That's part of what genuine, tender concern for
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  other human beings means.
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  Because other human beings do have flaws, they
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  do have foibles, they do have things that
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  we need to be patient with.
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  One thing that we've been talking about is
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  how the fruit of the Spirit comes about
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  from interacting with the Holy Spirit.
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  And so one question that I have is
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  how can we actually interact with the Holy
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  Spirit during the work day in a way
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  that produces kindness?
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  And so I was thinking about, OK, what
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  are ways we could frame this?
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  And the thing that came to mind was
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  American Ninja Warrior.
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  I don't know if you've ever seen that
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  show or seen it on YouTube.
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  It's just like a really complex obstacle course.
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  And it's really fun to watch people doing
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  their runs, trying not to fall off of
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  the obstacle course, trying to reach the goal
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  in the shortest amount of time while executing
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  all of the different obstacles, whether it's jumping
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  or leaping or crouching or climbing a rope
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  or whatever it might be.
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  Well, we could think about our work day
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  as an obstacle course.
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  Now, one way we might think about our
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  work day as an obstacle course is just
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  the stuff we've got to get done.
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  We got all our to-do lists.
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  Maybe use a task manager like I do.
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  I use one called Asana.
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  There's others Trello, Monday.com, whatever.
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  Just a piece of paper with a checklist
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  on it.
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  You've got your list and you're like, I
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  just got to get through all of these
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  obstacles today to make it to the end
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  of the day.
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  But when we think about interacting with the
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  Holy Spirit as it relates to kindness, we
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  think about the obstacle course differently.
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  Yes, we have that obstacle course of the
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  things we need to get done to do
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  our job well.
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  But we also have the challenge of can
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  I do all those things while being kind
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  to every single person I interact with today?
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  Every time I send an email, every time
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  I send a message, every time I leave
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  a comment in the project management software, every
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  time I answer a phone call or say
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  hi to somebody at the office or next
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  to me on the factory line, can I
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  be kind in the way that I interact
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  with them?
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  So when we think about what does it
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  mean to win at that obstacle course, the
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  obstacle course is not just about getting things
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  done.
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  It's about how we treat people as we
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  get things done.
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  If I got to the end of the
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  day and I reflect back on my day
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  and I think about how I interacted with
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  other people and I was faithfully doing my
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  work again, that's the fruit of the spirit,
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  part of the fruit of the spirit, which
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  is faithfulness, I'm faithfully doing the things entrusted
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  to me, but I also did them where
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  I had tender concern for the well-being
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  of all the people around me.
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  That's winning.
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  That's making it to the end of the
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  obstacle course.
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  And so where's the Holy Spirit?
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  Well, this isn't a perfect analogy, but I
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  think the Holy Spirit is like our coach,
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  right?
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  Obviously, it's more intimate than that because the
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  Holy Spirit is like the breath in our
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  lungs and the blood in our veins and
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  the Holy Spirit is inside of us.
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  But the Holy Spirit is also our coach.
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  The Holy Spirit is a guide.
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  The Holy Spirit instructs us.
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  And so as we're going through all those
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  obstacle course challenges of the day where it's
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  really tempting not to be kind to people
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  because we're stressed or because they're mean or
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  whatever it may be, the Holy Spirit is
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  coaching us.
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  The Holy Spirit is whispering in our ears,
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  like, move to the left, go to the
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  right, go for it, reminding us to be
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  kind.
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  So how do we interact with our coach?
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  How do we keep our ears open to
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  what our coach is doing?
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  Well, one way is simply to be in
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  conversation with our coach, to be in prayer
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  and conversation with the Holy Spirit during the
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  day.
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  So one way you can do this is
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  just send little prayers up.
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  One leader who I know called these arrow
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  prayers, just shoot up little arrows to God,
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  half second prayers when you're interacting with other
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  people.
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  So maybe you're having a conversation with someone,
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  you're listening to them.
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  But then in your heart, you just pray,
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  God bless Margo.
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  God bless Johnny.
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  Or you just pray little arrow prayer for
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  the person even while you're interacting with them.
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  And that cues you in to be sensitive
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  to what the Holy Spirit might be doing
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  in that moment.
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  It opens your ears to the instruction of
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  your coach.
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  Another way is you can pray for yourself,
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  right?
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  So if you're typing that email and you
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  realize you're getting into that angsty email typing
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  mode where you're like, as per my previous
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  email, dot, dot, dot, you can stop and
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  you can pray for yourself.
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  You can pray, Holy Spirit, give me your
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  tender concern for this person right now.
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  Can you give me your tender concern for
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  this coworker, for this vendor, for this client?
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  I want to write this email again with
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  whatever kind of clarity I need with doing
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  my job, the way my job needs to
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  be done, but also with genuine kindness for
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  everyone involved.
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  So that's one way that we let the
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  Holy Spirit coach us is just prayer conversation
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  with the Holy Spirit during the work day.
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  Another thing, though, is when we think about
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  kindness, again, kindness is expressed in our words
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  and our actions.
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  Our words and actions demonstrate what's in our
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  heart.
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  We can actually plan on being kind.
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  So I just mentioned task planners.
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  Have you considered actually putting little kindness reminders
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  in your task planner?
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  Like, if you have a task planner that
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  reminds you to do something every day at
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  noon, could you put something in there just
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  like, oh, send an encouraging note to somebody?
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  And then just, you know, when it shows
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  up, you're like, oh, okay, I can take
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  five minutes now and send an encouraging note
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  to somebody.
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  Again, we want to get to a point
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  where the habit is automatic, where the Holy
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  Spirit has borne his fruit in our hearts,
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  so that we're just without even thinking about
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  it, sending encouraging notes and being kind in
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  our interactions with everybody.
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  But while we're still, you know, have the
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  training wheels on, we're still trying to form
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  that habit because we're early in our walk
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  with Jesus.
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  We need reminders.
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  And so we can just use conscious reminders,
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  stick it in your task planner, and in
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  practical ways that you can choose to be
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  kind to others.
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  Then finally, another way to let the Holy
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  Spirit coach you is to identify your cues.
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  So this is kind of coming from the
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  science of habits, where you have a cue
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  and then a routine, and then a reward.
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  The journalist Charles Duhigg popularized this idea as
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  the habit cycle in his book, The Power
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  of Habit.
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  But it's helpful, that idea that, oh, we
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  have these automatic bodily responses.
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  Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad, right?
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  Works of the flesh are the bad ones
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  that are embedded in our bodies, apart from
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  the work of grace, the work of the
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  Holy Spirit.
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  But there's a cue that will kick it
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  off, right?
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  So your phone rings that cues you to
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  do something.
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  So you need to identify your cues.
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  Where is there a habit loop that's happening
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  for you in your workplace, where you could
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  increase the kindness you're demonstrating to other people?
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  Let me just use an example from my
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  own life.
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  It is literally the phone ringing.
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  One of my duties at my job at
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  the food bank is answering the phone.
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  And I'm the kind of person where if
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  I'm writing an email and the phone rings,
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  I like keep writing the email.
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  I let the phone ring a little bit
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  because I just want to finish the sentence.
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  I just want to finish the thought.
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  I don't want my stream of conscious thought
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  to be interrupted.
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  But I've really been convicted about this, because
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  what happens is the phone's ringing.
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  I'm finishing my sentence.
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  The phone's ringing.
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  I'm finishing my sentence.
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  And then I grab the phone before it
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  finishes ringing.
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  And I'm like, Hello, this is Northern Illinois
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  Food Bank.
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  How may I help you?
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  And I'm like, I'm rushed.
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  I'm not fully present.
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  I'm distracted.
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  I'm still thinking about the email.
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  I'm just sort of saying the words in
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  a rote way.
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  I realized what I need to do is
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  start training myself the minute that phone rings
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  to stop what I'm doing, pivot my attention,
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  pivot my emotional energy, and then answer the
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  phone with my full and undivided attention on
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  the voice at the other end of the
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  line.
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  Hello, this is Northern Illinois Food Bank.
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  How can I help you?
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  And that's still hard for me, right?
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  I am annoyed when the phone rings.
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  I'm like, dang it.
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  I'm supposed to, I'm going to forget what
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  I'm, you know, like, like I'm not there
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  yet.
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  But this is something that I can do.
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  I can identify the cue.
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  Okay, the phone rings.
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  That's a cue.
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  That's a Holy Spirit coach training moment in
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  my life.
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  Let me figure out how to start adding
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  kindness into the mix there.
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  So for you, identify what the cue is.
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  Is it when your kids interrupt you because
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  you're working at home?
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  Is it when the person next to you
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  at the store always starts complaining about your
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  boss, the minute the boss leaves?
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  Is it when you've got your client sending
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  an email with, with just like completely unreasonable
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  requests?
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  Whatever it is, identify your cue.
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  And then how can you welcome the voice
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  of the Holy Spirit?
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  How can you welcome just a little bit
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  more of Christlike kindness in those interactions?
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  Okay, so those are the ways that we
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  can let the Holy Spirit coach us.
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  We can be in conversation and prayer with
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  the Holy Spirit.
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  We can put it into our task planners.
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  We can choose the specific ways to practice
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  being kind.
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  And we can identify our cues and welcome
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  the Holy Spirit's input as we form new
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  habits.
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  Earlier, I mentioned that there were three other
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  places in the New Testament where Paul puts
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  kindness and patience together.
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  And I only mentioned two of them, the
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  virtuous.
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  The third place, he's actually not talking about
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  us.
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  He's talking about God.
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  This is in Romans chapter two, verse four.
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  Paul writes about the riches of his kindness,
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  forbearance, and patience.
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  And then he talks about how God's kindness
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  is intended to lead you to repentance.
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  God is kind to us.
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  God has tender concern for us.
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  And as always, the place where we see
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  this character of God most brightly demonstrated is
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  in the work of Jesus Christ, in his
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  life, in his death, in his resurrection.
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  And that's something we can meditate on as
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  we continue to grow in kindness is how
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  God has been kind to us.
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  And sometimes meditating in a very literal sense,
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  pondering Jesus's life, pondering his death, thinking about
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  it, reading those gospel passages where Jesus is
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  on the cross and seeing how he's kind
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  to the people around him, even in that
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  moment.
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  A 14th and 15th century mystic of the
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  Christian tradition, Julian of Norwich, wrote about this.
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  This is from her book, Revelations of Divine
• 15:04
  Love.
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  And she writes about this kind of prayer
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  and meditation on how patient God is towards
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  us, how kind he is toward us.
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  We pray to God by his holy flesh,
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  and by his precious blood, his holy passion,
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  his glorious death and wounds, and all the
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  blessed kindness, the unending life that we have
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  from these is from his goodness.
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  Maybe some archaic language, not the way we're
• 15:34
  used to talking about meditating on Jesus's death
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  and resurrection.
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  But I think it's actually really significant.
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  Julian was writing this in English, you know,
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  this is a kind of contemporary version of
• 15:44
  it, but same language.
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  And she uses this word by, which is
• 15:47
  really significant.
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  She says we pray to God by his
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  holy flesh, that is Jesus's holy flesh, and
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  by his precious blood, his holy passion.
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  What does it mean to pray to God
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  by Jesus's death?
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  Well, I think there's a couple of meanings
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  there.
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  One is that it's by virtue of, because
• 16:06
  of, it's because of Jesus's death and resurrection
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  that we can pray to God in union
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  with Christ and the Holy Spirit.
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  The fullness of the Trinitarian life that we're
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  invited into is because of Jesus's sacrifice on
• 16:17
  the cross.
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  Paul puts it this way in Ephesians 2
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  .18, through Jesus, we have access to the
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  Father by one Spirit.
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  He's talking about Jesus's death there.
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  That's one of those Trinitarian verses.
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  Through Jesus, we have access to the Father
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  by one Spirit.
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  So that's one thing, is that to pray
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  by Jesus's death, to pray by his passion,
• 16:40
  is simply to pray because of his passion,
• 16:42
  to remember that we can approach God in
• 16:44
  prayer, in union with God, Father, Son, and
• 16:47
  Holy Spirit, because of Jesus's death and resurrection.
• 16:50
  But there's another way, which is by meditating
• 16:53
  on Jesus's passion and death and prayer, we
• 16:56
  come to know God's kindness and goodness towards
• 16:59
  us more deeply.
• 17:01
  When we turn our mind to the image
• 17:03
  of Christ on the cross, we see God's
• 17:07
  kindness.
• 17:09
  We see it more clearly there than we
• 17:10
  could see it anywhere else.
• 17:12
  And this is why Julian writes of his
• 17:14
  blessed kindness, the unending life that we have,
• 17:18
  which is from his goodness.
• 17:21
  We see God's character for us, his kindness
• 17:23
  towards us when we ponder the death and
• 17:26
  resurrection of Jesus.
• 17:28
  And that's again, one of those off the
• 17:30
  spot training exercises.
• 17:32
  You don't necessarily have time in the middle
• 17:33
  of your workday to deeply meditate on the
• 17:36
  crucifixion of Jesus.
• 17:37
  But you do have time after the workday,
• 17:41
  before the workday on your lunch break, to
• 17:43
  crack open your Bible and just remember, Jesus
• 17:46
  died for me.
• 17:48
  God's kindness is here for me.
• 17:52
  And that kindness is meant to lead you
• 17:53
  to repentance, to lead you to turning your
• 17:55
  life all the way toward God, including in
• 17:59
  how you are kind, how you have a
• 18:00
  tender concern for everyone around you.
• 18:06
  Lord Jesus, you are the ultimate kind one.
• 18:10
  You show us what kindness really means.
• 18:13
  Teach us to receive your tender concern, your
• 18:16
  father's tender concern.
• 18:18
  And let us welcome the Holy Spirit as
• 18:21
  he builds that tender concern in our own
• 18:24
  hearts, as we love the people around us
• 18:26
  at work and everywhere else.
• 18:29
  Jesus do your work in us as we
• 18:31
  do our work with you.
• 18:39
  Thanks for listening.
• 18:41
  Finding God at Work is a production of
• 18:42
  Mission Central, a ministry based in Aurora, Illinois,
• 18:45
  dedicated to forming Christians for mission in everyday
• 18:48
  life.
• 18:49
  You can subscribe to the podcast wherever you
• 18:51
  listen to this episode to get 10 minutes
• 18:52
  of teaching on faith and work every Tuesday
• 18:54
  and Thursday.
• 18:56
  To get resources to go deeper with each
• 18:58
  podcast series, read our blog and get info
• 19:00
  about upcoming courses on faith in the workplace,
• 19:03
  go to our website, missioncentral.church.