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It's Friday!!! #34 | Guano Crazy | The Treehouse Podcast · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:26
It is time to leave your worries outside and come laugh with us inside the
0:32
treehouse. The us being me Daniel Malley, along with Trey Trenholm and Raj
0:38
Sharma. I'm not sure how I appear to you, boys, but I'm
0:46
a little sleepy given the festivities over the previous twenty four hours. Right before
0:55
we started, Trey noticed a slightly different background. Was gonna say something as
1:00
well, Yeah, because uh, we had to move rather quickly. Okay,
1:10
you remember how there was an issue with a bat about a couple of
1:15
weeks ago. M hm, well they came back. They came back with
1:21
a vengeance. Oh no, yeah, so they now have the house that
1:25
we used to live in. And we vacated said house like in Poltergeist in
1:29
the station wagon haul and ass away from it. And the house gets eaten
1:33
up by the by the Indian burial ground that it was built upon. Instead,
1:38
this was I'm assuming over a bat den, and we left that thing
1:44
in our rearview mirror, and uh, I'm not sure what's happening to it
1:47
now, but yeah, we had there's a bat den. I don't know
1:53
what a group of bats or you know, the obvious thing would be a
1:57
bat cave, but we don't. We didn't live in a cave. It
2:00
was in a house. Okay, Well at bats is what I'm getting at.
2:08
And inside the house, inside the house. Second time, inside the
2:13
house. The first time we were awake for it. The second time I
2:16
was sound asleep. There. I was in bed, just ever so lovingly
2:24
and sweetly drifting off to a peaceful slumber. And then I am awoken to
2:32
a blood curdling scream out of my wife that I have never heard before.
2:38
Okay, I met Tara in May of two thousand and nine. That is
2:45
almost fifteen years, right, I have never heard her shriek slash scream in
2:52
the manner that she did night before last. And the good news is my
3:00
erectors that were having issues in my low back they worked. I shot straight
3:04
up in bed, going, oh my god, what the hell's going on?
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And she is screaming, buddy murder. She turns the light on and
3:10
she's screaming back, there's a bat. There's a bat. There's a bat.
3:14
And I'm looking around everywhere I can look, and I don't see a
3:15
bat, probably because I got sleep crusties in my eyes and I don't want
3:20
to see a bat, but clearly there is one, because she's you know,
3:23
woken up the mountain and then it does a thing across my face.
3:35
Wow, And that's uh, that's how I woke up night before last.
3:38
And because of said flying rodents, we now live in a new house.
3:44
And and Dan, when that bat went by your face, did you emit
3:47
any noises? No? No, I didn't. You screamed like a girl,
3:53
didn't you? Look how I respond to this, it's none of your
3:58
business. I am man enough to say if a bat flew across my face,
4:00
I'm gonna scream like a woman, loud and probably round in circles.
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Well, then you're a bigger man than me, because I did not.
4:09
Ah, I was, in fact so stunned that that I wasn't even capable
4:17
of shrieking like a terrified woman. The bat stole my voice, stole my
4:23
voice, stole my breath. And I was like, because I wasn't expecting
4:27
for the to fly across my face. So it's just one bat, Yes,
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just one bat. See this is the judgment that that I don't appreciate
4:38
when it comes to flying rodents in your house. Some people like Trey totally
4:43
gets it for what it is. It's a flying rodent, carrier of bacteria,
4:48
harbinger of disease. It is a night stalker. And it didn't fly
4:55
around the house when the lights were on. No, No, it waited
4:59
until we asleep and all the lights are out, and then it came out
5:04
because it's blind and bats are not blind, rage they can actually see.
5:11
But they are nocturnal. So yeah, they have a tendency to come out
5:14
at night. But it's just one bat. No, there's multiple. We
5:19
just only seen one flying around the bedroom at a time. Okay, And
5:27
so the landlord that you have right now is like, okay, cool,
5:30
it's it's fine if you guys leave because of one bat. Raj. I
5:36
don't think you understand. It is a rodent with wings. Yeah, it's
5:42
one one. No, it's not, it's multiple. It's just the one
5:46
that's flying around. It's the second one flying around the bedroom. The first
5:48
one. Kiko and I the landlord, rehomed down the street one night.
5:55
This one, though, I handled on my own, Thank you very very
6:00
much. Okay, I got out it. What is it? Tree?
6:02
Oh? I just just to answer your question, I have a feeling that
6:06
Kiko was as afraid of Tara as Dan is, Yeah, he didn't come
6:14
up from his cottage to help, even though I know he heard the screams.
6:18
There's no way you didn't. You could go all the way down into
6:24
Coral Bay itself, which is on the east end of Saint John, which,
6:27
by the way, is the bay that Columbus first sailed in too,
6:29
back in fourteen ninety three. He would have heard Tara's screaming down there.
6:33
If he was down there on the Nina, the Pink there at the Santa
6:36
Maria, whatever it was, down the mountain, he would have heard her
6:40
screaming. Landlord Kiko didn't come up to help. He's like, oh,
6:43
no, I'm not going up there. So I was left to my own
6:46
devices. Yes, and then you you called, said landlord and said there
6:53
was a bat and so we have to leave now. And he was like
6:58
I understand, yes, Wow, okay, see again, this is the
7:02
judgment that I don't appreciate. Trade. You get it. It's a flying
7:05
rodent, it's unsanitary, it's also spooky. But the main thing is is
7:14
that it's not the same as you coming out and being open with your depression
7:20
and anxiety. But my family has issues with bats, flying rodents, we
7:26
don't want in our home. So therefore we gave the home back to the
7:30
bats. We figure, you know what, you can have it. We
7:32
can't get rid of you. The landlord, that's gonna be his problem now,
7:38
because we had already found a new place to live anyway, So we
7:41
just decided, well, we're just gonna move out now, and then we
7:45
found this lovely airbnb to stay in on Saint John until we get into our
7:50
next apartment. How did you figure out your actual birth family? Are the
7:55
waynes? You know? I've often thought about that if I was to ever
8:03
somehow connect with my birth family, might they be loaded or you know,
8:11
or not afraid of bats? Yes, Batman was afraid of bats. That's
8:15
the reason why he did it. Go back and watch the movies raj Okay,
8:20
the Christopher Nolan Batman movies. He's afraid of bats, that's why he
8:24
uses them to and still fear. Yes, I know what I'm talking about.
8:28
You know, I'm agreeing with you. I'm still trying to so you
8:31
let me see if I can just get this right. You already found a
8:35
new place to live, yes, but we were not supposed to be moving
8:39
in there until May one, and so we needed to find a place to
8:43
stay in between the bath house and the next apartment. How many weeks was
8:50
it in between bat incidents. I think a couple a couple of weeks.
8:56
Okay, so it's not like you're being the not being harassed daily. You
9:03
weren't there. It was harassment. I'm going to give you the scenario again.
9:07
I am asleep, it's peaceful, I am resting. My wife shrieks,
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blood curdling screams. Right I wake up. She's screaming, there's a
9:16
bat. The bat buzzes my face like like Maverick in a tower and top
9:24
gun. So then I have to go figure out how to get rid of
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this bat. And the bat after it buzzes my face, we can't find
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it now, we don't know where it is. I'm trying to find it.
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So Terra stays in the bed and she grabs a pillow and uses that
9:37
as a shield, like she's like she's some sort of spartan and and I
9:43
go and venture out away from the bed to try to find the bat.
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I don't see the bat until I turn around to face her as she's sitting
9:52
on the bed to tell her I don't see the bat. But when I
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turn and look back at the I see the bat. It's on the foot
10:03
of the bed below Tara. I look down, I see it. I'm
10:07
pretty sure it's beady eyes. Looked back at me, and then I looked
10:11
up at Tara just every it's like right there. And she knew immediately as
10:16
our eyes met something was very, very wrong. And that was when she
10:24
started screaming some more because I apparently have a terrible poker face. And that's
10:28
when the bat flew again. And now it's buzzing around the room trying to
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find a spot to hide because I found a tiding spot on the front of
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the bed and the lights are on now, and so it's not Yeah,
10:41
so it's disoriented. Yeah, yeah, we have a disoriented bat. And
10:46
and this is when you went we have to leave, I think, Roger.
10:54
I think I think the conversation probably went more like this, Dan taking
11:00
the cats, the dogs and the goats, and we're going to stay somewhere
11:01
else. If you'd like to join us, please feel free otherwise bat cave.
11:07
Yeah, yeah, well it's like you were here, Trey. I
11:11
mean, okay, I'm just trying to figure out, because it's been weeks
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before since there had been any bat incident, and there have been bat weeks
11:22
in between bat incidents, and apparently you guys went batshit insane and you have
11:30
left your home because of a disoriented singular bat. Here's the thing, Raj.
11:37
We've heard the bats since we moved in. They we feel they live
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in between the roof and the rafters, right, and there's more of them
11:46
now, so they've been breeding. We've also learned that they're guano. The
11:52
batpoop is apparently not good for you to be inhaling. So it was already
11:56
sort of a health hazard, not to mention the fact it's a flying rodent.
12:00
Rodents are not healthy because they carry all sorts of nastiness and they were
12:05
loud enough up in the roof to where they would wake us up, and
12:09
us especially, I mean Tara. So every single day the bats had been
12:15
an issue, and then they got louder and grew in numbers and they became
12:18
more of an issue, and then they started flying around the bedroom. The
12:22
first time. We're like, okay, that's a problem and it's been dealt
12:26
with, except the bats were still there and we couldn't get anyone to come
12:31
take care of the bats because a lot of the exterminators on the island were
12:35
under the impression they might be protected in some way. So then we had
12:39
to contact someone at the University of the Virgin Islands. It's a real university,
12:43
that's where it is, and they actually have a bat expert there.
12:46
I swear to god, that sounds like a Hollywood film. Unfortunately, she
12:50
was so busy with finals she can't come until like after we move out,
12:54
so we were on our own. Okay, So that story now is far
13:00
better. Then it makes more sense. They were in the in the at
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at rafters or whatever it is in your house. They were making noise,
13:09
they were keeping you up. Their poop is bad to it's like black mold
13:13
mm hmm, well or or asbestos. Uh. And yes, bat bestis
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that's what That's what it was. And and they were loud and they woke
13:26
you up. And now they were entering into your home. Yes, that
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makes now I understand why you left. Okay. But if you just went,
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hey, there was a bat that got into the house and we that's
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no big deal. If it just happened to fly in, that's no big
13:39
deal. We would deal with that. We already we already killed one actual
13:43
rat that was in the house and that that was no big deal. Okay,
13:45
that's gone. Uh but yeah, multiple incidents, ongoing issues with a
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bat infestation. Yeah, we left bat's rat scorpions, there was it was
13:54
just it was a lot. It was so I just had to ask this
13:58
question. And this is in the you're you're in a the cone of safety
14:05
here, So Terry, you can't listen to this. I understand bats are
14:11
really bad, and I understand. I I don't fault you for any of
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this. However, m hm. One of the things that I absolutely despise
14:22
when anything else on this earth is moving and you are doing an extra move,
14:28
so essentially two extra moves because of this bat, and it's well and
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we're talking about ten days difference. Yes, is it worth it? Yes?
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I'm sorry. Did you want me to think about that longer? Yeah?
14:50
I hate if. No, that's I was because I've moving is just
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the absolute worst. I've done it so many times in my life. I
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wish I'd never had to do it again. Do you sleep with the windows
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open? No? Okay, so how did the bat get in? That's
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a great question. We don't know, and we didn't stick around to find
15:16
out. No, but if you would have, if you would have asked
15:20
that question when the first bats didn't happened, I think it could have figured
15:26
out where they were coming, where it came in from. It was they
15:30
we did. We did mention that, and even even you know, Kiko
15:33
the land landlord, was like, I don't know it they come in.
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Did did you hear the bats before you saw it the first time? Oh?
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Yeah, so you did you know where they were bats? Or were
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you just like there's something in the attic? We knew they were bats.
15:50
Okay, because that because when they waked her up, she can't sleep.
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She gets on her phone and does research and she found all the bat noises
15:56
and matched them up. There were bats. Bats in a possums really needed
16:00
a better pr agent. Well, I mean, look, they do a
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lot of good. What does a possum do that's good besides his at eat
16:12
mosquitoes? Number one? They do? Yeah, I just thought they just
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hung from trees and hissed at people. No, they eat all sort of
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nasty insects and and trede do you pronounce it with the O in front?
16:25
Of it you did in North America. I believe it's the opossum, and
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then if it's uh other places, it's just the possum. I have never
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in mind there is an actually, no, there is an actual you can
16:37
google there is an actual difference between an opossum and a possum. I have
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to I don't. I don't know. It's almost like in other countries it's
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obats or in your house. Oh ship, we have to move house.
17:07
You're listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online that Treehouse OnAir dot com.
17:15
Let's talk to Jacqueline from Brooks Plumbing. The phone number to reach Jacqueline at
17:18
Brooks Plumbing for any and all of your plumbing once and needs two one,
17:22
four, three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. The website Brooks Plumbing,
17:25
Texas dot com. I know you are a plumber, you run a plumbing
17:29
company. But just on a personal side of things, if where you lived
17:33
suddenly had a persistent that problem, would you want to stay or would you
17:37
leave? Oh? I would be so gone because I am a low key
17:42
hypochondriac. If I see somebody that's sick, I'm like, we're leaving.
17:45
I'm out. I can't contract that. Rabies is terrifying to me. And
17:51
I had an ant infestation in my house once and I found a pest control
17:56
company in the DFW called t Rex Pest Controls Small. It's two best friends
18:00
that own it and they're super nice. And I said, I'll pay you
18:03
extra to show up today. Well, I don't have availability, And I
18:07
said, well, how much is extra for you? I'll pay you extra?
18:10
Ants. These are ants. So the day that I see bats in
18:12
my house were of burning it down. Good to know that we're not alone
18:15
and that you two would be out on burning it yep. So outside of
18:22
the exterminator type issue. Although Jacqueline most people that you could call for any
18:26
and all of your plumbing ones and needs, take sure to give her a
18:30
call two one four through six thirty eight thirty eight. The website Brooks Plumbing
18:33
Texas dot com. You're in the Treehouse, visit us online at Treehouseonair dot
18:47
com. This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by our friends at
18:52
Cook DFW Roofing and Restoration. For your free roof inspection, give Daniel and
18:56
Kerrycooker call right now at eight three three Cook d F w. That's eight
19:00
three three cook dfw the website cook dfw dot com. It just dawned on
19:07
me hearing and saying treehouse that the house we lived in on the mountain,
19:12
on Bordeaux Mountain on Saint John. This is sort of like a treehouse surrounded
19:17
by trees. It's completely made of wood. It had a loft area where
19:22
the bats and us slept and uh uh, it sort of was like a
19:26
treehouse. And now we're we're back in a typical island home, which is
19:30
a concrete fortress. And I don't think bats enjoyed concrete as much. So
19:36
I'm fingers crossed no more. Uh uh bat issues. So your bedroom was
19:41
like on a second story mm hmm yep. I don't know why. Siri
19:48
thought I was talking to her, Like most of the women in your Live
19:53
Tree, she liked the button. Literally, I go, so you know
19:56
your bedrooms on the second floor and SI goes, uh huh, what so
20:07
you were kind of invading their territory technically, Yeah, because they were there
20:11
before we were. Yeah, I mean okay, And it said the climate
20:18
is better where you are now, so there won't be Did you check your
20:22
luggage to make sure that one didn't sneak into eer. So what we did
20:26
was we took the essential stuff and then we went back the next day and
20:30
got some other things because that night we had nowhere to go. It's not
20:33
like you can book an airbnb at twelve o'clock at night, so we packed
20:37
up what we needed. The next morning, we slept all night with the
20:42
with the lamp on and avoided any bat issues after I sent that one outside
20:48
thanks to a yoga mat, and then somewhat slept with the light on to
20:53
the next day, got all of our essentials, found this airbnb and moved
20:56
it in there, went back, got some more essentials, moved it into
21:00
here, and now we're here. And then the least essential things are are
21:04
still at the house, so we'll wait and we'll wait to move those until
21:08
we move into the next place that's better, so you're not having to do
21:11
a full move twice. So that's where I am. But the good news
21:15
is there is something that will make me feel better. And it's not just
21:18
knowing that Trey has crippling depression and anxiety, or that Raj has severe anxiety
21:26
as well. I have a little bit of an anxiety, but not as
21:27
bad as you guys, and being in the treehouse certainly helps this one,
21:32
not the one I just moved out of, but this one, partly because
21:34
this one also has birthdays. Today is Friday, April twenty six, twenty
21:42
twenty four. Where did I put my birthdays? Hang on? Hang on?
21:51
Hered it go? Oh no, it's a tragedy. I lost my
21:56
birthdays. Wait found um, Okay, we go. Birthdays today. Channing
22:00
Tatum turns forty four, star of the Magic Mike films, twenty one,
22:04
Jump Street, and The Hateful Eight, along with a handful of other movies,
22:07
and in case you guys have not seen it, A Free Guy with
22:11
Ryan Reynolds, Channing Tatum is in that as well. It is very very
22:15
good, not only not just the movie, but changing Channing Tatum is pretty
22:18
pretty hysterical in that. Yeah, and you failed to mention he was also
22:23
a stripper at one point. Yeah, so that's how he started his career.
22:30
He started as a stripper, so the Magic Mic role was not a
22:33
huge stretch for him. Good on him. It's one of the you know,
22:37
one of the times where you know, the stripper really struck gold.
22:41
Yeah, when the pandemic hit and there was no work in La the strips.
22:45
No, well there's no work. Yes, so yes I did for
22:51
no one. I figured along. I figured like like I figured the same
22:56
as so many other comedians. You know, you just went to remote common.
23:00
But he maybe did you did a little bit. There was a little
23:02
bit of that. But I was like, and I was, I didn't
23:03
want to do the unemployment thing. I was like, I'm not going to
23:06
do it. I'll find something. So I did the Postmates and I actually
23:10
delivered a pizza to said Channing Tatum. Very nice dude. It was a
23:15
very He was like it was his house up in the Sherman Oaks Hills and
23:21
he's like, you can it's intercom. You would think with all the millions
23:25
he has, he could get an intercom that worked. But it very much
23:29
stopped. But this thing that I just got a man, your intercom's not
23:33
working. And he just was like you can leave, pull up the drive
23:36
and leave the pizza there. And it just didn't. And so outcomes Shanning
23:40
Tatum and I was I wasn't even paying attention, and I just looked up
23:42
and I was like, oh hey, buddy, and he's like hey,
23:45
And I had got I was like a big fan. He was thank you
23:47
so much. Man. I was like, all right, I'll see you
23:48
later and very nice dude, tips like shit but nice dude. Yeah.
24:00
Well, I'm glad. I'm glad he was nice to you. I'm would
24:02
you would you have rather? Would you rather have him been nice to you
24:06
and tip like crap like he did? Or would you rather have been mean?
24:10
But tipp you really well during a pandemic. I doult don't care if
24:12
you were a dick with the you know, nicely, Yeah, as long
24:18
as you're a dick with a bag and that'll be a bag list come on.
24:26
Yeah, but that was a that was a kind of a cool moment.
24:30
Other birthdays today, Jordana Brewster from The Fast and the Furious movies is
24:36
forty four. I know she's been in a couple of other things, uh.
24:41
I think one of them was The Faculty, one of those weird late
24:44
nineties early two thousands, you know, like horror type movies, and it
24:48
was like aliens took over a school in a town. Anyway, of course
24:53
I did. Hm. I'm one of the few people that seen Jordana Brewster
24:59
in something not The Fast and the Furious Movies. Also Pablo Schreiber per scriber,
25:03
I don't know. He's forty six. He's the star of the Halo
25:06
TV series. He was also on American Gods and Orange is the New Black.
25:11
Tom Welling, who played Clark Kent on Smallville and Kane on Lucifer's forty
25:15
seven. Maladia Trump, former First Lady of the United States is fifty four.
25:21
Kevin James from King of Queens Kevin could Wait, and the Paul Blart
25:25
Movies is fifty nine. I will say this, Raj. Have I seen
25:30
many many movies? Yes? Have I seen many movies I'm ashamed of Yes.
25:36
Have I seen Paul Blart one? Yes? But I have not seen
25:40
Paul Blart too. I didn't know there was a Paul Blart two. That's
25:47
something, thank you, trick. Most people don't give kudos for you not
25:52
seeing the second shitty movie. Hey, it seems like he learned a lesson
26:00
from the first. Did you enjoy it? Did you enjoy the first?
26:06
Paul Blurt? It was? It was what it was, I mean,
26:10
it was, It's It's a fat guy mall security movie. I just did
26:14
you laugh at some parts? Yes? Yes I did. I will admit
26:18
I laughed it. I laughed at a few Let me ask you a question,
26:22
Dan, what was higher the score you would have given it? Or
26:27
your Bac Trey. I know a rhetorical question when I hear uh, But
26:38
let me ask you this, what was what? What did the second movie
26:44
not? Have? You were like, I can't watch this one, Honestly,
26:48
I don't know. I know I laughed at a few parts in the
26:52
first one, but I don't even remember what they were because I have no
26:56
intention of going back and rewatching it because as we all well, no,
27:00
there's so many things to watch nowadays that it's difficult to squeeze them all in.
27:04
So I'm really like for me to go back and watch a movie nowadays
27:10
a second time, it's got to really pull me back in. Or it's
27:12
because it's been so long since I've seen it that I don't remember it.
27:17
But I don't need to. I don't need to revisit Paul Blart one.
27:19
Okay, that's and that's and that's decent of me. I just don't know
27:23
what makes you go see I'll see the trailer and like the title, and
27:29
I'm like, Okay, that sounds interesting, that looks good. At no
27:32
point did I see the trailer for Paul Blart, and when hmmm, I
27:37
got to give them my twelve fifty, I don't know. That's because your
27:41
BAC wasn't as high as much. I did. Forget to mention a couple
27:51
of things at the beginning of the show that we would have today, one
27:56
of which is, I know you're all wondering what's going on with potatoes.
28:00
We'll get to that. But the one main thing I wanted to mention at
28:03
the beginning of the show that I didn't get a chance, but I'm going
28:06
to mention it to you now that is on the heels of a previous episode.
28:11
I'm now going to give you another reason not to randomly knock on my
28:15
front door. Okay, because Tray and I previously told Raj it's not safe
28:19
to just answer your door for strangers. We don't like when people surprise us
28:22
by coming over to our home unannounced, one because it's not polite, and
28:26
two because it's just not safe. Whereas Raj thinks, throw caution to the
28:33
wind, no one's coming to mug you, murdy you, whatever it is,
28:36
Just open the door for anybody. Invite the whole neighborhood in consequences be
28:41
damned. But there is a new tool in home security that I'm very excited
28:48
to share with you, gentlemen. Because Trey and I don't only want a
28:55
smart camera doorbell that can choose violence, Why wouldn't you also want a roboguard
29:02
dog with a flamethrower on its back to also choose violence on your on your
29:07
behalf. Yeah, see, what could go wrong? A lot? I
29:15
mean a lot. I mean it's it's it's genuinely terrifying. So so I
29:19
can pull this up for you. You actually can. If you've always wanted
29:23
a robot pet or you just wanted to own a flamethrower, now you can
29:27
have both thanks to the company Throw Flame. The Ohio based company is selling
29:33
the Therminator, a robotic dog with a back mounted flamethrower, which the company
29:37
says can send streams of fire up to thirty feet with the push of a
29:42
button. And is anybody else hard? Oh, raj, No, you
29:49
don't. You don't want a robo guard dog with a flamethrower on its back?
29:56
Yeah? Flamethrower? Okay, what about one that also comes with laser
30:03
sights? Sure? Yes, see yes, let's let's do that. Can
30:08
I also throw I don't know the hand renades, like or what are we
30:12
what are we missing? That may be version two point zero, but here
30:17
in my mind, ultimately it'll become something like out of the Jim Carrey movie
30:21
The Mask, where you know, it's just like weapons pop out everywhere and
30:23
oh gotcha. That would be so for people just coming by to say,
30:30
hello, you don't have anything to worry about if you if you, you
30:34
know, call ahead, m m yeah, yeah, because nothing can go
30:40
Oh yeah, that clearly looks safe. Yeah, it's so. It's it
30:44
looks like the Boston Dynamics robot Dog. And then it's got the back mounted
30:48
flamethrower attached to its. Yeah, see the laser coming on Mark crawling around
31:03
the woods? Is that a fire that it created that it walked past.
31:08
I assume what it did was it detected an enemy and it torched the intruder.
31:17
Gotcha, And now it's making a perimeter sweep to make sure it didn't
31:21
leave any parts uncooked. Gotcha. Okay, I mean just imagine one of
31:33
these roaming around your house at night. Mm hmm. I mean I should
31:38
probably clarify around the outside of the house. I don't feel like this is
31:42
an indoor robot flamethrowing dog. No, this is not a lap flamethrowing dog.
31:52
This is definitely an outside guy. I can't wait for the first police
31:56
department to get one of these as they get Yeah, some guys have been
32:02
like, coming out, we're just sending the dog send them in, okay,
32:07
and then this and then this. Oh no, I've chosen poorly.
32:16
Yeah, there comes the fire baby. Here it comes the destroyer of wurdles.
32:30
Oh oh, look at that thing shoot the fire. Oh my god,
32:37
I'm not gonna lie. That's pretty bad ass. Oh it jumps.
32:45
O. God, that's a good dog. Oh I am so wet,
32:52
unlike the ground that is on fire right now, that's a that's I mean,
32:57
just the visuals kick ass. I wouldn't want one because he said,
33:00
Ai, that's the technology that's running. It turns on me and the next
33:04
thing, you know, I'm a kebab. I don't want to, but
33:07
that's it's pretty cool to watch the video. Uh. I wouldn't buy it,
33:13
but that's okay, and go in on one. We'll get you one.
33:16
Okay, thank you so much. I'd rather have a rescue. This
33:22
is this is a classic adopt don't shop. Given enough time, I don't
33:30
sure one of them will be sent to the pound, said to the pound,
33:39
I can see it now. You just you walk into Dallas Animal Services
33:43
and says, hey, you got any robot dogs with flamethrowers on its back
33:45
that are here for adoption? So what kind of yard do you have?
33:55
If I'm Dallas Animal Services, I go find a stray, tape a bit
33:59
to its back and go. You go cut bottle rockets. Yeah, that's
34:07
it. I can't wait to see little Timmy's face when he sees what he
34:10
cut for Christmas. This is a puppy that dads can get behind. Yeah.
34:23
In the visit us online a treehouseonair dot com. Let's get Daniel Cook
34:39
from cook dfw Roofing and Restoration into the treehouse now for your free roof inspection.
34:45
Give him a call eight three three cook DFW the website cookdfw dot com.
34:49
I saw a headline recently and it made me think of you, Daniel
34:52
and your lovely wife Carrie. There was a massive argument and the girlfriend grabbed
34:55
a fork and stabbed her boyfriend in the butt with it. She called it
34:59
a light hope, the boyfriend told the police. No, that was a
35:01
full on stabbing. My question to you today is have you ever done something
35:06
that made Carrie want to stab you in the butt with a fork? Carrie
35:08
has stabbed me in the butt with the fork. Oh whatever, But luckily
35:15
I have a very muscular butt because I climb ladders and I run and stuff
35:21
like that. So hey, it was not able to penetrate the gluteus maximus.
35:27
That's truly a false statement. But at the end of the day,
35:30
I mean things could happen. I mean, relationships are tough, and things
35:36
that you don't think that might be a something detrimental to your partner's health or
35:42
safety. I mean, you just what do they call it? What do
35:45
they call it when you when you kill and passion? It's a crime of
35:49
passion, crime of passion. That's that's my whole point. Not necessarily a
35:52
crime, but you're just trying to have a little bit of fun with your
35:54
partner and some things get out of control sometimes. That's why again there's that's
35:59
why they make safe words. That does make sense, and uh, that's
36:02
smart to do. And that's also an interesting angle. It's like, well,
36:07
you know, if you love each other, you'll occasionally, you know,
36:09
stab each other. Uh. Also, if you love each other,
36:13
you'll get your roof inspected by the Cooks forks. They'll they'll leave those at
36:16
home eight three three cook DFW or the website cookdfw dot com. You're in
36:25
the treehouse, visit us online at treehouseonair dot com. This segment of the
36:34
treehouse is burrought to you. Buy our friends at Brooks Plumbing for any and
36:37
all of your plumbing once and needs. Called Jacqueline at Brooks Plumbing two one
36:40
four three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. That's two one four three six
36:44
eight thirty eight thirty eight again for any and all of those plumbing wants and
36:49
needs. The website Brooks Plumbingtexas dot com. So we've got bats. We've
36:53
got robodogs with flamethrowers, which would have come in handy to get rid of
36:58
the bats. I was gonna say our previous home, but you know that's
37:00
not my house. That's up to the guy that owns the house to deal
37:04
with those bats however he sees fit. And the fact that I've already sent
37:07
him a link to this, there's no and I'm just saying, if you
37:12
want one, this here it is. If you don't, that's totally up
37:15
to you at your house. Saying the dog would have gotten rid of all
37:17
the bats and even the landlord if he wanted it to mean technically that's you
37:23
can you can make it function that way. Well, he is the landlord.
37:29
He is uh, he is Colombian, so probably not going to be
37:32
the first time that he's seen a dog with a flamethrower. Sadly true.
37:44
Weird things happen in Central America. Man. All right, Oh, there
37:49
is some other big news happening in the world, but we're not going to
37:53
touch on any of that because Trey found Potato News today. Okay, Trey,
38:02
you swear to God this is real. I do you swear on Daisy?
38:09
I swear on Daisy. I have looked around that site, and if
38:12
it's a ruse, someone has gone to painstaking links to post all sorts of
38:16
articles and commentary about potatoes and the comings and goings of people, you know,
38:22
icons of the potato end. Okay, that is like a headline on
38:30
I just I just want to know what I've missed. I don't know if
38:32
I slept through a potato famine. No, just that one back in the
38:39
eighteen forties that I'm aware of and imagine. But dated April twenty third,
38:47
twenty twenty four, Potato News Today is proud to announce that the platform has
38:54
achieved a significant milestone by surpassing one point eight million reads of its news stories
39:00
and articles to date. This achievement not only underscores the publication's commitment to the
39:05
potato industry, but also highlights its global impact, with the readership spanning well
39:09
over one hundred and thirty potato producing countries. The site has registered close to
39:15
eighty thousand visits thus far in twenty twenty four. That's according to Google Analytics
39:20
Statistics Potato News Today. That's a it's a publication. It is a publication.
39:30
It is a website, Potato News Today. See now, this is
39:35
where I say, that's if this is a couple that started that. This
39:38
is love. This is how you know when someone loves you. I believe
39:43
this isn't just an individual man who goes by the name Luky. Yes.
39:47
Then Luki is particularly humbled by the fact that many of the platform's loyal followers
39:52
dedicate valuable time to visit the site regularly. He expresses deep appreciation for their
39:58
time and engagement, which are crucial to the success and continuing growth of Potato
40:02
News Today. Whether providing breaking news, conducting interviews with key potato industry figures,
40:12
or analyzing the latest market data, Potato News Today is committed to maintaining
40:16
high journalistic standards and meeting the information needs of its readers. And I just
40:22
have to wonder, do they have a potato podcast and if not, would
40:24
they like to be a part of the tree US podcast network. I don't
40:31
think of all the other podcast networks, I don't think any of them got
40:35
a potato show. And if there's a network out there willing to take on
40:39
a podcast about taters, yeah, we can call it the mashed Up.
40:45
It would be a good name for it. There it is. I see
40:52
bar your soul to the internet and you get a few likes and follows into
40:55
fucking Potato gets one point eight million views. Humbling. Isn't it like we're
41:07
making fun? But it's got It's got higher numbers in a week, And
41:10
clearly the reason why is because they have he has he owns his niche like
41:15
there's no one else doing potato News. He's the only one. He's the
41:17
only game in town. He gets all the he gets all the views,
41:22
the downloads, the ears, the eyes, all the attention, all the
41:24
engagement. You could spend a lifetime clout chasing on the internet, and this
41:30
guy managed to nail it with Potato News Today. Yep, it's uh Trey,
41:37
you know, bawling his eyes out and telling you about how he's,
41:39
since the age of ten, has had suicidal thoughts and this guy's like,
41:44
oh, fucking Tato tots. Maybe the reason why Trace thought about death every
41:50
day since he was the age of ten is because he didn't know that Potato
41:54
News Today existed, And now that he does, maybe this is the thing
41:58
that will turn things around. This is what finally brings trade joy from where
42:04
plushes him over the edge. Yeah I can also do it. Yeah,
42:21
oh I forgot. Uh So, other than Trey, you know, possibly
42:25
having a breakthrough with this depression thanks to Potato News and a robot dog coming
42:32
to rescue me from bats, I feel pretty good about this. How would
42:37
you guys like to play a quick game of wrong answers only? Yeah?
42:42
Yeah, can you sound a little more enthusiastic? Yes, yes, you
42:49
guys suck wrong wrong music man. All right, here we are another edition
42:57
of wrong Answers only heard here and only here inside the Treehouse Podcast. This
43:02
is where I will present Raj and Trey with a situation of quote if he's
43:07
a bodio whatever it is, and I task them with giving me the wrong
43:13
answer, wrong answer oldly, So here we go. Who said I have
43:20
the lady parts of a fourteen year old? Who said I have the lady
43:25
parts of a fourteen year old? Are you gentlemen ready? Okay, let
43:37
me get my buttons ready? Hang on? There we go, There we
43:43
go. All right, I have the lady parts of a fourteen year old,
43:46
Trey. Wrong answer only Rosie O'Donnell correct and by I mean incorrectra Will
44:01
Smith ooh, also a good wrong answer, I have the lady parts of
44:10
a fourteen year old was actually said by Tory's spelling see Raj. This is
44:16
a phenomenon known inside the show. We don't have a name for. It's
44:20
just a phenomenon inside the show where you talk about somebody one show and then
44:23
out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever, they pop up in something else
44:29
on the show, completely unrelated. Because we talked about Tory spelling and I
44:31
know two too the other day. And now she's back up because she claims
44:35
to have the lady parts of a fourteen year old. She says she was
44:39
told this by her obgyn because all five of her children were born via C
44:45
section. She said, if anyone out there has had a C section,
44:49
you know that it's not easy. They're like slicing and dicing through your stomach,
44:52
through your muscles. I wanted to push you, guys. I wanted
44:54
to be that girl, but instead sea section, and because of five children
45:00
and through sea section, her doctor says, you have the lady parts of
45:02
a fourteen year old, which I find disturbing. You can identify. I
45:07
don't know if it's like the rings of a tree when a gynecologist gets in
45:10
there and can go yep, fourteen, yeah, I don't know how you
45:15
tell the age like that's I mean, unless you know, I guess her
45:21
coologists is that good at their job and like, oh yeah, I know
45:24
I've seen these before. That's a weird. This gynecologist probably moonlights as they
45:30
guess your age. Barker at the State Fair. You have the lady parts
45:36
of a fourteen year old who said that my doctor what's his name, doctor
45:38
Schulz. Oh that is really really disturbing and growthy Yeah, all right,
45:51
are you ready for another one? You both did very well. You got
45:54
both those incorrect, which is the idea? The next one is ah Luke
46:01
Bryan. In an interview recently, he said, if you ever see him
46:08
with red eyes, it's not weed, it's because he's been doing blank.
46:15
He says, it's not weed, it's because he's blank. M If you
46:27
see him with red eyes, it's not because he has weed. He's been
46:30
doing uh yoga, yoga. That is incorrect. Good job, Rives,
46:38
It was not yoga. In fact, Trey listening to his own music.
46:51
Hey. No, the the actual answer might be surprising to you, is
47:01
because he has an allergy. The allergy that Luke Brian has is quite ironic.
47:07
He is allergic to bass, the type of fish. And he doesn't
47:13
even have to eat the bass, just handling them, does it. He
47:16
says, If I look like I've been smoking pot, that's not true.
47:20
I've been catching bass. If I touch a bass, my eyes get red
47:24
and my hands will swell. If I have to take out the hook.
47:28
As a kid, his parents thought it was just normal allergy. So he'd
47:31
be in the boat wheezing, and he says his dad would just tell him
47:37
to suck it up. Yeah, okay, well now we know how to
47:40
successfully get rid of Luke Brian. Will just lock him inside of a bass
47:44
pro shop and that'll be that. We don't have to listen to that shit
47:50
anymore. Okay, that's not nice. I just I thought you said when
48:04
you said ironically he was allergic to something and it was I thought it would
48:07
be he was allergic to good music. I don't like the tone in your
48:13
voices. Oh hey, but I'm not even gonna say hi, I'm Luke
48:16
Brian to you two assholes. You guys don't deserve my salutations. I'm Luke
48:23
Brian. Fuck you. Is this the side effect of the bass? Is
48:31
this the anger and the rage? No? This is all natural? Motherfucker?
48:38
Is that? Is it? From sitting next to Katy Perry for years?
48:42
All right, that may have contributed some, but that's a true story.
48:49
Man. I am allergic to bass fish, not bass bass fish.
48:53
It's terrible, man, And I'm a man that loves hunting and fishing and
48:57
stuff, so it you know, it sucks to know that you're you're you
49:00
know, you're allergic to this thing that you love. And my dad,
49:02
my daddy really would say, we go fishing, and I'm weezing and I'm
49:06
a coughing and I'm spitting up, and I'm pissing and I'm shitting because I'm
49:09
allergic to this fish. And I didn't know. All my dad would say
49:13
is just suck it up. Although in hindsight, I'm Luke Bryan. In
49:20
hindsight, I kind of appreciate the words of wisdom that my daddy always screamed
49:23
at me. Just suck it up, because it really is one of the
49:27
best things he taught me. I even use it to this day. It's
49:30
what I use. It's what I say to the vagrants in my pit,
49:34
just suck it up. It's also what I say to my wife when it's
49:39
time to mate. It's also what I screamed to my wet back when my
49:45
wife says, no, she won't do that. Is it also what you
49:50
yell at transience when you're on tour. No, I just tell them to
49:55
get in the van. But it's true, man, just suck it up.
50:02
It's a very powerful message, and I wanted to put it in my
50:07
song kick the Dust Up, but the record company said I was only allowed
50:12
to use the same word twenty nine times per song on a kind of hamstring.
50:17
There they were stifling her creativity. Just suck it up. It really
50:30
is a powerful message. I'm Luke Brian, and I'm full of powerful messages,
50:34
and and I certainly know what it's like to suck it up. But
50:39
it honestly really is depressing to be allergic to something that you love, not
50:45
being able to touch something that you want so bad. Kind of like ninety
50:49
seven to one with ratings. I'm Luke Brian. Bye. I like how
51:08
Luke Bryan knows where you live. I can't escape him. I've tried,
51:16
all right. Thanks for hanging out with us inside the Treehouse. We appreciate
51:19
it. We will see you for the next episode.