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309: How to Crush Limiting Beliefs and Build a Life of True Significance · Wealth On Main Street

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Foreign. Welcome to wealth on Main street, where conversations about growing your wealth are fun and entertaining. Wealth isn't just about money. It's the skills and the knowledge that we develop to pass on to future generations. Tune in each week to grow your mindset and your net worth at the same time. Are you ready to step into the life that you were born to live? Can you identify and crush the limiting beliefs that are holding you hostage? Today we're talking about what it really means to be born limitless. We're joined by Rick Torenson and international speaker, bestselling author, and a performance coach. He helps leaders and entrepreneurs crush their limiting beliefs and step into their true potential. His book, Born Limitless. We're going to talk about that. Today has real world, actionable steps to move people from a stuck state into being clear. Welcome to the show, Rick.
• 1:09
  Speaker B: Hey, man, it's exciting to be here. Richard, Jason, I'm glad to be with you guys. Love what you're doing, love the podcast and looking forward to an amazing time bringing some value to your people and learning from you guys. We appreciate that.
• 1:22
  Speaker C: I was, I was thinking, and I didn't mention this before we recorded it, but I wanted to see if Rick would get a laugh out of it because I thought is crushing limited beliefs. Is that like a form of martial arts or. Because like when you think of like before the, before the frameworks and the speaking and the stages, like, was there a moment in your own life, Rick, where there was a limiting belief that was kind of quietly running the show?
• 1:49
  Speaker B: There. There is a moment. There was not just one. There's been a multitude of moments. And, and that's what I've discovered and realized over the years with this. And it was. There was a revelation. You know, those aha moments when you're like, oh my gosh, I get it. For me, which was 30 years ago, 35 years ago, probably when, when I first experienced this idea that I had a limiting belief that was keeping me and holding me back from something I strongly desired. And I couldn't know why I kept self sabotaging, right? But then as life went on, I was like, oh my gosh, I've got a lot of limiting beliefs in my world that I didn't realize I had. And so that's kind of what I talk about and introduce to people. I think we all have them. We've just held them so long that we call them normal and once they're normal, we don't even realize they exist and we stop addressing them. And so my big Thing is to help people challenge their normal, to see where those limitations and ceilings are. So, yeah, so I did the long answer, but yes.
• 2:48
  Speaker C: And what, like, what if you think of now in hindsight, like, what did it cost you before you recognized it?
• 2:55
  Speaker B: Yeah. So I'll give you the Cliff Notes of this. And it's in, it's in the book. I tell a story. It's pretty dramatic story, but it really, it ties together. So I had a. I was raised by single mom, single parent, home, grandma outside of Chicago. So my mom had to work a lot to take care of me. She worked multiple jobs in order to do that. She had to get help taking care of me. So my grandma would help when she could. But then she got a babysitter and she trusted the babysitter, right? And so if mom trusts the babysitter at 7 years old, I'm going to trust the babysitter. But when the abuse started, you know, I was lost in that space of like, what do you do with this? And who do you tell and who's. And mom trusts her, so whose fault is it? And, and, and I've gone through all this. I've worked through it. I know a lot of people have their own stories and their moments of trauma, and we have. And it doesn't have to be big trauma, but we have these places that mark us. So what I realized and the reason I start there is because that took me on a journey of a belief that I started to hold about myself, my value, my worth about women and relationships that I didn't even know I was taking on because I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I didn't bring it out in the open.
• 4:03
  Speaker A: And I.
• 4:03
  Speaker B: And because mom trusted, then I'm going to trust. So it must be my fault, right? I must be doing something that is causing this behavior and this action. And so then over time, what I discovered is I started actually keeping relationships at a distance. I put on this false front of being in control and in charge and everything that I did so I'd never be hurt. And then I would just, you know, it was this idea, the abused, which was me, kind of became an abuser. Not in the same way, but in this way that I am not going to let someone close. So as they got close, I just push them away, break relationships until I was 25 and I met the woman in my dreams, and then this is the one I was going to marry. And I thought, man, I'm going to this. This is it. This is who I Want to be with. I chased her from Indiana to Texas. That's how I got to Houston, man. And so I gave up everything. It finally came the time I was going to propose. And this is when it hit me, right? This is when it all came out. We're going out to our favorite restaurant. We're having dinner. I had gone the morning, that morning, and I'd gotten this cat that she loved, cats, a little kitten that the ring was going to be on. I talked to her dad, you know, did all the protocols. Man, I was fired up. I'm going to get engaged. I'm going to get married. We go to dinner. And it happened. I made her so mad that she was ready to kick me out, right? We're driving home, and it's silent, and I'm thinking, oh, my God, what have I done? I. I didn't want to do that. And this is. You know, I'm laughing. I can smile about it now. But the reality was, I was like, what did I just do? Why did I do that? What is going on? And so in that moment, we get back to the house and. And I said, man, I'm just not going to let this happen. I don't know what to do, but this is not what I want. This is not okay. So I typically, as I looked back on it, I would run and say, okay, and we're done, and fine, and. But it was my doing, and I was okay with that. This one wasn't. So I. I repented. I apologized. I told her I was so sorry. I don't know why I did that. Got the cat with the ring, proposed. She said yes, you know, and so, wait, yay, we're going to get married. But I realized in that moment, there was something driving my mindset. My beliefs about relationship, and they were colliding in a big way. And I ended up getting a coach. And this is. Like I said 35 years ago, I ended up getting kind of a mentor and a coach. I started talking through and saying, man, I don't know why I do this. And he took me on a journey of challenging this normal that I was living in. And I started realizing all of these broken and damaged relationships throughout my life. Up to that point, there was a pattern, right? And so I went back to it. I finally realized, oh, it was the mindset, the limiting belief I took on about myself, my life and my future and the world around me at 7 years old, that that manifest into my behaviors that kept producing the same result until I ran into the situation at 25 years old now, thankfully, I'll tell you, I just celebrated in December 35 years of marriage. So we made it. But it wasn't without a lot of hard work and realization that how we believe is how we behave and how we behave produces fruit and outcome in our lives. And if we don't like the fruit and outcome, we typically try to change our behaviors and we never address the beliefs that drive them. And if we don't deal with the root and the belief, we can't sustainably make a change. And I think this is true in every area of life. I gave you kind of a hard case scenario, but I mean, you guys are in the financial world, right? And financial freedom, success, really helping people build wealth and significance. Here's the thing. A lot of people have these mindsets around money. If they don't believe they're valuable, why would they produce or go after value? Why would they go after wealth if they don't feel they deserve that? Right. So everyone has. Should feel the freedom to deserve, to go after, to build, to grow, to become. But why don't they? There is a belief they have that says, I can't, I won't, I'm not, or I'll never, and most.
• 8:11
  Speaker C: And you have to interrupt that pattern.
• 8:13
  Speaker B: 100% and I'll say this, and then you can ask some questions. So it's a lot on the front end, but it sets kind of the table. What I've realized is most of us don't even realize we have these places, but they exist. And so if we don't challenge that normal, at least look at it, then we're going to be stuck settling for something less than what I believe we were born and created for. And that's in every area of our lives. Right. And so let me, let me stop there. But that, that's the framework. Yes, that's how it got started. That's where the revelation came. And I've built the last 35 years of my life really sewing and investing into people to help them recognize the limitations they put on themselves, identify the lies, replace them with the truth, and build roadmaps to their greatest significance.
• 8:56
  Speaker C: So good. So good.
• 8:58
  Speaker A: I like the idea of identifying the lies and build the truth because you don't even realize that you're lying to yourself in some of those occurrences. And that limiting belief is something that you're telling yourself, whether it's happening running through your brain, or it's verbalized out loud, or it's happening through action. Those are all methods of communication. It's internal, external, and, and the physical element is still a communication method that's happening with, you know, your physiology. I, I see that is the, as the lie being identified and saying, well, if that's, if that's not true, that's not the truth, then what must be the truth? And what do you want that truth to be is kind of the pivot point. I think you're working people through. Am I on track, Rick?
• 9:38
  Speaker B: Yeah, no, absolutely. Let me ask you guys this from your world, from your perspective, for the listeners who listen to you, what do you find is their biggest roadblock or obstacle from actually going from where they are and getting to where they are saying they want to be or what they're projecting or what they're hoping from a. Financial stability, financial freedom, financial success, from really going after them. What are the, what do you find are some of the greatest obstacles? I don't mean the tactical obstacles, but when you start talking to them and walking, do you ever notice that kind of their thought process?
• 10:10
  Speaker C: Yeah, I would say at the top of the list would be capability. That's really what comes up. And people, because they've been conditioned to rely upon others, if you want to achieve wealth, if you want to achieve financial abundance in your life, you have to transfer whatever existing surplus money you have over to someone else who thinks that they can do better with it than you can. And when you're doing something with money, it requires capability. And if you don't possess the capability, the confidence certainly isn't going to be there because the confidence doesn't have anything to latch onto. And so I would say capability would be the primary.
• 10:56
  Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's, that's really good. So when you're thinking about that, what's the lie they're telling themselves around capability? Do you, you think, what is it narrative that hap. That's going on in their heads? If you were having to guess, this.
• 11:09
  Speaker C: Is a lot more complicated than I'm, you know, capable of. Of doing.
• 11:14
  Speaker A: Yeah. Or I, I don't, I just don't understand this stuff. Or it's too, it's too much information or I'm not good with money.
• 11:24
  Speaker B: I've never been good with my finances. I've never had a budget, and I can't budget very well. I've always had this lack. I mean, it's a scarcity thing, a lack thing. Right. So they feel the longing for something more. Like we all do. Like, I know there's more. I can do this, I want this. But then when they Got to go get it. That narratives comes up and they're like, where did that come from? And it shuts them down and, and.
• 11:47
  Speaker C: Their brain doesn't know, doesn't know what to get working on making an achievable reality. Because we, we talk about this all the time. That the human brain is incapable of dealing with vagary or generalities. So when somebody says, I want to be wealthier, I want to be more financially abundant, or in this case, I want to be more significant while the human brain goes, I don't need to do anything with that. There isn't anything specific there because the brain responds best to events, dates and numbers. And so when, when we're working with people in that scenario, and even when we're working with. Through our elite advisor network, we coach advisors to grow their capability to build a future that's bigger than their past. And the only way to do that is to determine first and foremost that you truly understand that your past is your future is entirely your property. It hasn't happened yet. Right. And so let's map this out with specificity. And that's where you talk about. I had seen like a roadmap to significance. So like, what is the difference between being successful and being significant? And why do so many people confuse the two?
• 13:06
  Speaker B: And that's so good. What a great question. Thank you for asking that. I got to say one thing that you mentioned that I say all the time as well, that you kind of put in a different way. And I loved it. I say this all the time. Your past was never meant to define your future. Right.
• 13:21
  Speaker C: It's raw material.
• 13:22
  Speaker B: It's meant to inform it, refine it, but not define it. And when you let your past define your future, you limit your future through the lens of a broken past. And so sometimes we've got to clean our lenses, right? We've got to realize there are things from our past that we are holding on to that are actually becoming the lenses by which we see our potential, the possibility, you know, everything. And, and until we understand that, we can't really break free and sustain it. So man, thank you, thank you for that. Because that. I just believe that so strongly.
• 13:52
  Speaker A: I like the visual of that, by the way, Rick, because it makes me think of those, you know, if, you know, the, when the police come to the kids school to do like a little, you know, what do we do? And that sort of thing. And they, they talk about like drunk driving and they put on the goggles that you can't see anything out of that. That's the framework that I see visually as you're letting the past coming forward and having to clean the lens.
• 14:13
  Speaker B: Man, I love that. I haven't used that. I never even thought about that one. But you're right, because, Jason, you and I wear glasses, right? And so that's. Right. If you don't clean your glasses after a while, they're foggy. I've got in my drawer here. So I'm sorry, I'm just going to show you guys. I'm going to start showing you glass cases, right? These are all glass cases. Why? Because each of these are the same prescription, but inside here, they're all scratched up. I don't know if anyone watches this, if this is a visual podcast or not.
• 14:39
  Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
• 14:40
  Speaker B: But what I just showed people is I've got so many sets of glasses, and these are two weeks old because they're so scarred and messed up and damaged that I couldn't see clearly out of them anymore. Right? It's like, so that's. That's a great image, right? That we want to be able to clean the lenses to give ourselves a fresh opportunity, but we've got to realize that they're scratched up in the first place. So I didn't mean to chase that rabbit, but when you said that, I thought, man, that is so. It's so right on, you know? But you asked about success and significance, and this is a pretty big thing that I talk about. And for me, the difference, I guess, when I think about it, is success. If I was simplifying it, success is something that I think we should all strive for. Achieve, desire. There's nothing wrong with success. It is that base instinct that says, I want to be successful, but I think success is limited because it dies when we die. Success is all about me. It's about what I can achieve and accomplish, what I can build and what I can grow and what measures I can hit. We typically measure success by finances, markers, houses, cars, relationships. There is something that says, oh, you're successful. Here's the thing about that. Most of those metrics are things outside of us. There's something someone else sets and say, hey, you're only successful if you reach X or if you build Y or if you can do right. And I'm like, oh, that is a vicious cycle or circle to be on. I think there are metrics we should set. And what does success look for me? And those are positive questions that I think are important to answer. The difference is significance is about what ripples after my life Is over. It's the thing that's left when I'm no longer here. The material things are going to go. The house will go, the cars will go. All of that stuff is, is going to become dust, right? Like we will, right? It just becomes dust. So what stays? Relationship, Right. What stays. My impact and influence I have on the lives of the people and the world around me. How I lived my life, my character, the stories. I don't want my kids telling stories about me that says, oh, dad had a cool car and he got a best selling book and he had, we had this huge house. Okay, great. But if that's the narrative of my life that wasn't successful, I want my children and the people around me to say, you know, I remember Rick, and I remember the difference. He always challenged me to be better. He helped me clean the lenses of my life, to see the possibility. And I took chances and risks I never would have taken. And my life changed because he was in it. Significance is the pebble in the pond that ripples long after we're gone. See, success is about me. Significance is about we. It's that thing that is not as tangible but has meaning beyond our fleshly earthly bodies. And that's what I want to be after. Significance can't be measured by achievement and accomplishment. In numbers, right? In buildings and structures. Significance is measured by the impact into a life. And it doesn't have to be a billion lives. It could just be one life that goes and changes. And there's so many stories about that that, you know, that you could tell, you know, the story of the. The people that are so famous. But what was the ripple in their lives? What was that one person that talked to one person that changed a thousand people or a million people? Right? And that's, that's my goal and my desire. And so what does it look like to build a roadmap in your life that has the focus of significance, not just success and that, that's a big part of what I, I love to try to do and help people do. Does that make sense? Does that.
• 18:35
  Speaker C: That makes perfect sense. That's fulfilling. Very fulfilling. And. And when, you know, when. During that process. So if you think of growing significance and rich. This is something that I think that you, you can, you know, relate to as well. Like when pressure's high and the stakes are real, like what separates leaders who rise versus those who retreat?
• 19:01
  Speaker B: Are you asking me or. Yeah, you asking? Oh, yeah. Well, I want to hear what you think. What do you guys think? I'll Tell you what I think, but I do a lot of talking. Like that's a great question. What do you think it is?
• 19:14
  Speaker C: I think it's courage and capability.
• 19:18
  Speaker B: So where does courage and capability come from? What's the source of that?
• 19:22
  Speaker C: You're like, have you ever heard somebody say trust your instincts versus someone say your instincts are a culmination of everything that you've experienced up to this point in your lifetime. And so your instincts are worth trusting.
• 19:36
  Speaker B: Right.
• 19:37
  Speaker C: So if you've had experience where you've dealt with high stake situations and you've either been mentored through it, guided through it, baptized by, baptized by fire, fumbled.
• 19:50
  Speaker B: Through it, stumble, bumble, fumble, right.
• 19:53
  Speaker C: And now you've got, you've got raw material to bring with you into that next high, high stakes situation. And so where leaders choose to retreat, it's typically a function of fight or flight because the courage and the capability isn't there. You know, if we, the three of us were parachuted into a war zone and we were in a forward operating position, we're likely going to find a way to retreat as fast as possible. We don't know how to fire the weapon, we don't know how to structure how we're going to, you know, achieve a mission that we're not even aware of. And so you need standards, you need courage, you need capability, and you always have to, I think you always have to lead based on the standard, not lead from a place of being liked. That's where I think a lot of leaders retreat. Because if they're leading from a place of being liked, then they're going to retreat from a high stakes situation.
• 20:50
  Speaker B: So. Good.
• 20:51
  Speaker C: And, and I don't, I don't know of any other way to, to get to that courage and capability than through real experience and, and actually letting yourself sit in it and feel it. I've been through that more than once.
• 21:05
  Speaker A: And you can be an observer in the experience of another and it can inform and help you interpret how you might maybe run that through your own filter process. Yeah, when, when the rubber hits the road, you don't really know how you're going to handle it until you handle it. But if you, if you're able to be around other people who have demonstrated a measurement of leadership that you aspire to, you, you recognize, you see value in it, starts to fine tune and hone your own thinking around that element and probability increases in your ability to maybe tackle the high stakes situation. So, yeah, so surrounding yourself with the right kind of people who demonstrate the capabilities, the Things that you want have be whatever those elements are that you're striving towards. If you're, if you're continually in that engagement, you're, you know, I kind of like learning by osmosis to some degree. And you won't know what the impact is until you're tested to deliver, but that gives you the opportunity to rise to the occasion. And maybe you don't rise fully, but maybe you rise halfway and then the next time it's 3/4, then the next time you stand tall. That's how you develop and build those skill sets.
• 22:17
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker B: Yeah, agreed, man, that's so good. Thank you for sharing that. I, I, I agree completely. I think what I would add to that is when I think about leadership and I think about how we lead, how we show up, how we're going to perform, what do we do under pressure when the gut punch comes, or just life or whatever, as we go through life, the unexpected, unwanted, unasked for that happens. How do we show up? How are we present in that? And one of the things I work a lot with, the leaders that I work with, organizations and individuals, is where I think that comes from, where I can give myself the best chance to be successful in order to move to significance. The way I can set the greatest foundation for the greatest opportunity to be, to do it right, to act right, to live right. And when I mess up, to respond. Right. Because that's the other thing is we're all going to mess up. We're all going to stumble and hit the wall and do something stupid or say something stupid. That's not what defines us. What defines us is how we respond when we recognize that's what we've done. Right? And so I think the foundation of all of that, that I don't do really any coaching, any leadership with organizationally or individually, because I think the principle is the same, the through line is the same. If we don't clearly set and understand and establish our purpose, not what we're to do, but the impact of what we do, our ultimate desire and purpose of our life, that why that cynic talks about a little bit, but I take it a little bit different than that. But it's that purpose of our life, the impact and influence we desire our life to have on the people and world around us. If we can't define that, that aspirational thing that says, this is the human I desire to be and the impact I desire it to have, not what I want to do, because this supersedes that, once I understand Purpose, the meaning of my life. That and I don't want to get too micro like, oh, what is this whole thing? That we can understand it to a level, right. That I think is transformational. And so I think defining purpose and then understanding the values that drive us, the core non negotiable values that become the bumpers in the bowling alley, that with every time something comes at me and I'm asked to do something, doesn't matter if it's good or bad or I'm presented with an obstacle or a crisis, comes, the unexpected, unwanted, unasked for comes. How do I decide how I'm going to show up? Am I going to willy nilly just kind of go by the my emotion and energy in the moment? I mean that's scary because our emotions are real, but they typically cause us to act in ways that aren't for our benefit. Right? I mean emotionally responding is typically not the best response.
• 25:05
  Speaker A: Right?
• 25:06
  Speaker B: But if I understand what my non negotiables are, what do I value as a human? How will I handle it? How will I deal with everything that comes if I don't know what those are, if I can't recite those values, if I can't define them and tell you how they show up in my life, then I've got a bunch of good ideas and I'm living around other people's values that I've grabbed a hold of because I like them, which means they're going to shift and change based on the pressure and the circumstance that I find myself in. But if they're mine, I own them, I define them, I know how they show up and how I want them to show up, then I am fully responsible. And now I've got the lens by which I engage the world. So knowing your values, what you truly value as a human, that's important, not negotiable. We have a lot of them, but I typically try to get people to get three to seven. We typically have 10 that drive us that are pretty strong. But at any one time there's about three or five that we really anchor into and they don't change over life. They may mature, but they are these things that are non negotiable. So they. I often ask people what is it that you value? What's non negotiable in your life about how you want to show up and be present in the world in any situation, in any circumstance, at any time, with all people? Right.
• 26:28
  Speaker C: I believe that there are certain things that have to be there, you know, regardless of who the who is. So like if a person says, well, they provide nine things and responsibility isn't on the list, then if you're in a situation where you, you abdicate responsibility, you've completely forfeited the power to change. Like you forfeited it entirely. If you're in a scenario and you say, I am taking zero responsibility for this, you don't have to assume 100% responsibility. But if that, for example, following your example, if that was not something that a person valued and they abdicated that you forfeit the power to change.
• 27:20
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's interesting because. And just to be clear on how I was describing this is, I think we have a lot of values, but there are core ones, right. That are not that we don't negotiate some. Can they come and go. I love that, I love what you said though, because here's the thing. If I've got my set of core values, my five, I got, I've got a lot of values, but here's the ones that anchor me in life. Typically those are core, those are core values. Those are foundational values about how we show up. Now, let's say responsibility wasn't in there and I choose to advocate responsibility. I would tell you that I don't have any values then because there's no way I could advocate responsibility and have my core values intact.
• 28:01
  Speaker C: Definitely.
• 28:02
  Speaker B: Do you know what I'm saying? So, so the reality is these things play. And if you've got a set of core values, like, you know, it may be humility and, and community and honesty. Right. And integrity. So I don't have responsibility in there and I choose to abdicate responsibility. Well, then I really am not, I really don't have integrity. I'm really not walking in. Right. In community. Right. Because I'm saying I don't want a part of it. So these things don't. They're not one offs that you can say, I'll have one and not have another. That's what makes the holistic side of us, the power of us showing up so integrated. But if we can't identify any and just we let, when something comes, we go, oh, I wonder if that's important to me today. Oh, I'm so emotionally bound in this. I'm going to make this decision and next time I'll make this decision.
• 28:54
  Speaker A: You're really speaking to kind of the aimlessness of ambiguity and indecision that exists in people who, you know, they're a rudderless ship in how they're operating their lives and the clarity that's necessary to go from, hey, we're on the water. Ship's got to go someplace. We don't want to be stranded and smashed up against the reef somewhere and shipwrecked. And, you know, it's a. It's, you know, Gomer Powell shows up to, you know, solve all our problems. Like, we. We want to have some measure of knowing where we're going or if we don't quite know where we're going because there's fog ahead, we at least are heading in a direction, and we're able to steer the ship based on what these values are. So, you know, I think what you're describing, what is it? What is the steering mechanism by which you're going about life? And do you even know where the steering wheel is?
• 29:44
  Speaker B: 100% so good. Because what I've found in 25 years of coaching and doing stuff like this is the number of people that don't really have that is. Is the majority of us. Now, we can. I can ask people, hey, tell me what's important to you? What do you value? And they'll hem and haunts, say, this and this and this. And I say, that's awesome. But really, those are good ideas. They're not necessarily values that are guiding your life and how you show up because they're negotiable based on emotion, circumstance, environment, for the most part. Right. And so the reality is, what you said is so critical for our success and significance.
• 30:21
  Speaker A: Right.
• 30:21
  Speaker B: But so many of us really have never taken the time to press into it and really ask, what are those guiding principles, those things that steer me at a foundational level? Not a thousand of them, but those core ones. Right. That I want to anchor into. Right. And I think you said something else, Rich, that I think is really good, too. You know, here's what happens then. The fog comes, the obstacle comes, the things come. Right. Another thing I work on is clarity of destination. If you don't know where you're headed, and specifically, it's like that gps. I love Mexican food, and I'm in Houston, and I can't put in my GPS. Best Mexican restaurant, right? There's over 4,000 Mexican Mexican restaurants in Houston. Nothing to help me. But my favorite is Hugo's. Right? And so if I need to put Hugo's and the address as my destination before I route it, or I'll never get there.
• 31:19
  Speaker C: That's right.
• 31:20
  Speaker B: Now, here's the thing. I don't care how foggy it is. If I'm clear on my destination, my purpose, what I'M meant to be. Then I'm going to show up in the fog, through the fog, anchored with a rudder that's going to guide me through the uncertainty, the inability to see clearly what's right in front of me, the obstacles. And that's another thing we miss is we don't have that clear. Clear. We don't build a clear destination. It's like with money with you guys, right? Hey, I just want to be rich. I want to be wealthy. I want to make sure my family's taken care of. I want to make sure there's legacy for my. Well, what. Okay, what does legacy look like? How much is enough that your family, you know, you don't. I know you don't let them say, okay, well, let's get to work. We're going to build a lot of money for you to make sure your family's taken care of.
• 32:07
  Speaker C: Not even close.
• 32:09
  Speaker B: What does that mean? Right. That's so powerful. But yet we don't think about it like that. We don't break it down typically on our own.
• 32:17
  Speaker A: And I appreciate that you, you mentioned the word legacy because I, I actually wanted to circle back to that when we talked about significance and the method and the way you kind of described it. There's a similar theme in how we talk about legacy in our organization with our clients. And I think when you hear the word legacy, people think about their estate plan. They think about these financial elements and like, things that they're going to leave behind to their loved ones or beneficiaries. It's. It's a transactional, almost good mental picture that people create, and maybe there's some heirlooms that are added into the mix or, you know, physical things and, and that sort of stuff. That's not what we talk about or what we think about. If anything, when we talk about legacy with our clients and the mindset around legacy, it's more in the significance category. It's what. What is the legacy that you're leaving behind that establishes the significance of you being here in the first place that can cascade in the generations of your family line. So, you know, and a good part of that is how we, how we help coach and mentor our clients about having conversations about the habits and the mindsets that matter to them that they want to carry over when they're gone. Because the, the next generation or the third generation, if they have the right mindsets and they have the right habits and they, and they have the knowledge and the know how, which, which they don't may not need to know yet. But they can develop and learn with good coaching. If they have the habits and the mindsets, they can create all the wealth that would be left to them anyway. So it's not about the dollars or the things that are left behind. It's about the ability to create it for yourself.
• 33:58
  Speaker B: Man. Rich, that's. I mean, I hope everyone that's listening actually heard what you just said, right? I mean, because the reality is. And we can look at wealthy families, and very few have generations who are. Who are still wealthy because they created so much wealth that that wealth was passed on. The estate. The Biltmore is the Vanderbilt. It's. It's huge. It's there. And then all of a sudden you start getting down here and no one knows how to create it themselves. They have the name legacy of, oh, I'm a Vanderbilt or I'm a this or I'm a that. Right. But their own ability to generate and create and build is lost or not known or struggling because that was never passed on.
• 34:39
  Speaker A: Right.
• 34:40
  Speaker B: And what you're saying is so powerful, it's so significant, is I don't want to just pass on wealth, estate, the tactical to my children and my family. I want to pass on the confidence in them that they can go do this and build this themselves. You know, maybe there's some things they don't have to do. Maybe I can help them with a, you know, with some stuff. But man, work, get up. Dream, vision, have passion, have confidence, Fail. It's okay, right? Go get it. Right? And so that becomes legacy. That. That's a. That's a powerful legacy. And that's why I think defining our purpose as not what we do, but the impact and influence that we want to have is so powerful. Right? If my purpose is clear that it's beyond just generating wealth and being successful and stable and financially secure, but if my purpose is really about impact and influence in something that I can build other leaders, invest in other people. You know, those, quote, soft skills or critical skill kind of things, man. I think that's. That's transformational for me. That changes everything.
• 35:51
  Speaker A: You might have just given us the title for our. One of our next books, Jason's Legacy. Go get it. Build your legacy of tomorrow today. One decision at a time as a subtitle.
• 36:01
  Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. I call dibs. Wait, dibs. I like that a lot.
• 36:09
  Speaker C: And so, Rick, like, for an entrepreneur, right, Or a leader who's listening and who may be feeling successful but not quite fulfilled. So what's the first honest conversation that they need to have.
• 36:25
  Speaker B: Great question. Another really good question. Well, I think, I think part of the process is. And what I've found is, you know, and I think this is a book I haven't written, but I've thought through as we talk about books. This idea is, I think in different decades of our lives, we have different questions that are important to us, different things that have value to us, that we look at the world through a certain lens in our 20s and our 30s and our 40s and our 50s, right. As we get older, and I think as we get older, we start feeling the weight of everything, of age and time, right. The gravity of time, of the end of time for us. And we don't start asking those questions or thinking about those things typically until we get into our mid-50s, late-50s and we start asking legacy questions. What, where, when am I, what does this look like? And what's it all been for? And right. And so there, that's that significance conversation that we start having where we start realizing, man, does it, did it all mean anything? Does it all matter? It's an interesting thing too, and I'll say, because what I'm learning, I've really reshifted a lot of my energy and focus this last year. I'm changing some of my attention towards the 25 to 35 generation because I think they're an interesting generation that's actually asking that they're getting burned out in life right now, but not the burnout that you and I would know. Like they're working 100 hours a week. Their burnout is actually about meaning and value and purpose that they feel they're working in a space they're not being seen or heard. And what they're doing isn't a tying, isn't tying into purpose that gives them meaning or value or, you know, the motivation and, and so they're being burned out in jobs and chasing jobs because they're. These jobs don't feel like they're speaking to identity, value and worth, right. And so this generation is actually thinking more about impact and influence of their lives and the purpose of their lives and having meaning than say maybe 35 year olds to 50 year olds who, who grew up differently and are thinking things differently. And so I think, I would say to anybody, and I think the younger that you're able to have this conversation, the more power like you guys, the younger you can get them to have these conversations when they think, I'm not making enough money, I'm making minimum wage, I can't Even pay my bills. But if you can get them to say, listen, yes and no. Let's think about 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30, and a little change you make now that when you get to that place, the fruit of that, right? But it's so hard because it's not as tangible. It's like, oh, but I need that dollar. I can't put a dollar away a day, a week, you know, and wait 50 years. I'm like, oh, if you just understand this multiplication process. So I think the question, again, a lot of discussion there around what you asked. I think the question is getting people to be willing to ask and dream and start looking to their future. What, what is the, the purpose? What is the impact you'd like your life to have? What kind of human do you really want to be? What is, what is it that you hope. And there's a point where we're not willing to ask that question because it's just, it's like, ah, I don't care about that right now. My son's 30, my daughter's 27. They're both in different places. They're thinking about that question, but it's really like, hey, dad, that's really not, I'll worry about that later. And no matter what I say, they're just, there's immediacies in their lives that are more pressing.
• 40:16
  Speaker A: Right. But if we appreciate. Rick, is that you, you went through a couple of different questions that they're all, they all pivot back to the same core focus or topic, but it's, it's different ways or angles of coming at it. Like, what kind of human do I want to be? Yeah, what, you know, what, what do I want my life to look like? Or what's something I want strive for? So those are all purpose driven questions, but they're framed in a different way because they're going to activate for a person in way. So I really appreciate how you kind of ask a few different versions because they're different questions, but they all direct people to the direction of thinking that you're looking to because they can identify, maybe they can't identify the idea of purpose because it's a nebulous thing. It doesn't have form yet that they can determine what that looks like. But these ancillary questions that are around it can start to crystallize a picture of something, picture of themselves, a picture of what a future could be if they continued being that type of a human. And what will. Well, if you, if you, if you actually Lived the result of that type of human that you said you want to be. Well, what would that create in your life? And then what kind of people would enter your life? Well, what kind of things do you think? What kind of opportunities would be created for you if you did that on a regular basis? So, like, there's this whole cascade of things that get created that can circle someone back to like, oh, I think I have. I don't have a clear picture, but I went from no picture to, like, I can see form and shape now.
• 41:43
  Speaker B: I love how you take this stuff and you synthesize it and you make it really clear, like, you bring it. I mean, I appreciate that because I think you're right. And that's why, for me, everything comes back to no matter how old and who I'm coaching. The language might change, but the ultimate goal that I'm after is getting them to determine what's important to them. What do they value? What is. What is important to them now in their lives? And what kind of human, what kind of person do they want to be? Not what kind of person is everyone else? And that's another thing. This generation, this 2030 generation, is really asking some powerful questions about that because they're bombarded every day with everyone's opinion about life, and then they're in a world that feels like it's on fire and chaos and relationship, and it's. It's all this anger and rage, and there's a generation. It's like, this is chaos. It needs to stop. I don't feel good. I don't like it. Right. And they're asking, this can't be what life is all about. Yeah, you know, this can't be what this is going to be like. The trajectory that I'm watching the world go on doesn't have a good ending. And I'm a faith person, so I, you know, I'll put a face spin on and go, you know, you're right. Ultimately, there. There's some things that aren't going to end very well, but ultimately it's going to end really well. Right. It's like, it's. It's this tension that we feel in the now and the not yet. But. But I think that's just a really good. You know, it's like asking the question, Rich. I mean, it's kind of like in the financial world, like, what do you value today? If you. If you really lived your financial life, your material life around what you valued and what was important to you, what would your life look like, how would your life be different 12 months from now? Right? So if they say, would you have.
• 43:27
  Speaker A: A bunch of empty beer bottles in your garage to take in, or would you, you know, have some well designed entrepreneurial books instead on your shelf as a difference, maybe?
• 43:38
  Speaker B: Yeah, 100%. And, and what would your friend group look like? Like this thing you're saying you aspire to, right? Or the things that you value today are. Are what's going to then manifest in your behaviors and actions that will produce the fruit and the outcome of your life, right? So what is it that's driving you? What is it that you're like? And if. If this is what you're saying, then what would the fruit of that look like 12 months from now, six months from now? What. What might your life be like if what you just told me is what you really believed?
• 44:10
  Speaker C: And so when it's all said and done, what do you hope, you know, what do you hope people say was different about them because they crossed paths with you?
• 44:20
  Speaker B: I hope in however they say it, right? However, the language is my purpose of my life, my. The desire of my life is that people, when they've come into a space with me, would feel and begin to believe and understand that they were created for something more than what they're experiencing. It's the name of my book, Born Limitless. That they would go. That they would begin to believe and entertain the thought, maybe I am born limitless. Because that's a hard thought. Like, what does limitless mean? You mean. Because I think we were all born limitless. And then life happens, things come, and we start interpreting life and ourselves and the world around us through this lens of the life happening. And if the life happening wasn't very good, then we see life as limited, and then we see ourselves as limited. And I want to pull that off the roof, and I want people to understand, no, listen, you were really created for more. A purpose, a destiny, a future and a hope. What it is, I don't know. But my passion is to help you tap into that and to discover that. So my hope is they would say, listen, he elevated my belief in myself, my ability, my future, right? In what was possible for me. He helped me believe in myself again that really I could. And I. And I will. And I am. I wear these bracelets. And it's part of the mantra in my book. And the bracelets say, I will, I can, I am. Because I believe there's power in our declarations, in our words.
• 45:58
  Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
• 45:58
  Speaker B: And that's what I Want people to grab ahold of because I will is a declaration of intent. I will do this. So we're telling our physiology we're creating a neural pathway that says, I will. I'm declaring, I'm going to do something. It's an intent. I can is actually a declaration of ability. We're saying to ourselves, I can do that. Right? And that's powerful. So we're shifting again our state. I will do this. I can do this. But I am. It's the most powerful. It's a statement of identity. I am valuable. I am worthy. I am smart. I can write a book. I am an author. I have a story of a red pen of seventh grade, where I wrote. They asked me to write something, and I wrote my life. And my story was. And I shared some of my vulnerable story in there. And when I got the paper back, it was filled with red marks. It was a teacher correcting the grammar. It had nothing to. They weren't diminishing me. But when I saw the red pen and my heart was on that paper, I determined in that moment, I can't write. I'm not a writer. I don't like English. I'm going to stay away from it. And I stayed away from it. I'm in my 60s. I stayed away from it. And I felt I was to write a book. I started trying to write a book almost 20 years ago. Start, stop, start, stop. No, I can't write. And then I finally got so frustrated. And then this book, there's another one that I haven't done that I'm going to. But I. I realized the red pen came to mind. I went, oh, I believe I'm not a writer. I believe I can't be an author. I believe I'm not any good at this, and it's a lie. And I. This is what really real time for me. I had a coach, and I got a writing coach, and I started and I wrote declarations on and I already packed my book, but I have one book that says on the top of it. It was my first copy they gave me as my author's copy. And I wrote on the top, big letters across the top best seller hadn't happened, had nothing to do with. But I said, you know, doggone it, I'm going to believe and declare that this is who I am and what I can do. When I made that shift and I started making declarations, I can, I will, I am. Six months later, I wrote the book. Six months later, it was a bestseller. In my 60s, 59, 60 years. I was 59, about to be 60. I mean, come on, somebody, I mean, who are you and where are you in your life? And what have you said? You can't, you will, you won't, you're not, or you're never. And is it true 99% of the people I work with who have those, I can't, I'm not, I won't, I'm never. They're not based in truth, but they settled for them and said, that's my ceiling. This little. It says right here, USA Today bestseller. I mean, I'm not bragging, it's funny, but, but that is more for me than it is for anyone else.
• 48:54
  Speaker A: What I also love about that is that you've got the infinity symbol kind of on the COVID of the book and that that speaks a lot to what we do. After all, our big focus is teaching people about the infinite banking concept.
• 49:06
  Speaker B: Come on.
• 49:06
  Speaker A: And so we, we, we, we recognize and resonate with that symbology, but also the, the intention of having a limitless life and having limitless finances, having limitless control over your, your own and being empowered to make those decisions as an individual. And another thing that we feel was limitless is the degree to which we're building all this incredible content on YouTube. And so, Rick, we're, we're so excited to have you with us today. This was so much fun. It was an absolute. Thank you.
• 49:35
  Speaker B: My pleasure.
• 49:36
  Speaker A: For, for our listeners, our viewers on YouTube, of course. Make sure you get a copy of Rick's book. We'll have some links down below in the show notes there. Make sure you check those out. This was so much fun. For those of you, of course, paying attention, watching on YouTube, you'll also see another magical piece of content that showed up. You should click on it because that's part of that limitless growth that you're on, on your journey. So continue that growth right now by clicking that next video.
• 49:57
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 49:58
  Speaker A: You want to learn how to implement the process of becoming your own banker. It's easy. We put it together in seven steps, the exact educational path you need to be successful in this process. Go ahead, go to 7 steps CA. That's 7 steps CA. And get your copy of the report right now.