Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 157 | Why Female Entrepreneurs Doubt Their Money Decisions and How to Build Financial Self-Trust

Transcript

157 | Why Female Entrepreneurs Doubt Their Money Decisions and How to Build Financial Self-Trust · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Erin Gray: Are you doubting if you have set your prices correctly?
• 0:04
  Erin Gray: Maybe you have hesitated or are hesitating to invest in your business, or you feel like you need to talk to someone after you've had a conversation with your CPA, bookkeeper, or attorney as to what direction you think you need to take.
• 0:20
  Erin Gray: You would not be the first person to do this.
• 0:22
  Erin Gray: And today I'm diving into why I see women entrepreneurs struggle to trust themselves, not just financially, but as a whole.
• 0:30
  Erin Gray: And I'm going to share simple, actionable tools to make not only money decisions with confidence, but also every decision in your life.
• 0:39
  Erin Gray: Because the skill sets that I'm teaching you here on this podcast, you can take them and you can translate them and use them in every other area of your life, not just with money.
• 0:46
  Erin Gray: Welcome back to your money, your rules with me, your host, Aaron Gray.
• 0:50
  Erin Gray: Okay, so let's talk about why I think women, men do this too, but I see this a lot with women, why we struggle to trust ourselves with money.
• 1:03
  Erin Gray: First of all, I think that it is a societal thing, right?
• 1:06
  Erin Gray: Society teaches us to defer or to outsource our power to seek approval.
• 1:13
  Erin Gray: I see this all the time with my daughter's friends.
• 1:17
  Erin Gray: Like we were at a field trip at Hobby Lobby, and so many of them were asking, Well, what do you think I should choose to for my fabric?
• 1:28
  Erin Gray: And they were going to, you know, each other or their friends and asking them, Well, what do you think about this?
• 1:32
  Erin Gray: What do you think about this?
• 1:33
  Erin Gray: And I watched this happen.
• 1:35
  Erin Gray: And for several of the girls, I just went up to them and we were talking.
• 1:38
  Erin Gray: She was asking me, Well, what do you think I should choose?
• 1:39
  Erin Gray: I was like, Well, what do you actually want to choose?
• 1:42
  Erin Gray: What feels good on your body?
• 1:44
  Erin Gray: What are you going to enjoy having and, you know, lounging around in?
• 1:48
  Erin Gray: And so I think so many of us have been taught from very early on to outsource our power to ask other people their opinions first before we actually check in with ourselves.
• 1:59
  Erin Gray: Um, we also aren't actually taught how to make decisions, you know, to follow our intuition, to be guided from our body.
• 2:07
  Erin Gray: Um, you can go back to episode, I believe it's episode 60.
• 2:11
  Erin Gray: I'll put it in the show notes for you.
• 2:12
  Erin Gray: If that's incorrect, I'll put the correct number in the show notes for you.
• 2:16
  Erin Gray: But about, you know, human design, I use human design very loosely, but I weave this in with my clients to help them understand the way that they are meant to make decisions.
• 2:26
  Erin Gray: And I use human design to empower you and to show you to tap back into your body.
• 2:32
  Erin Gray: First and foremost, we're all meant to make decisions intuitively, not with our head.
• 2:36
  Erin Gray: And then I use human design to kind of show you how to be more in alignment with your decision making.
• 2:42
  Erin Gray: You know, so for many of us, we perceive money, a lot of us perceive money as a threat.
• 2:48
  Erin Gray: So our nervous system can get a little hijacked.
• 2:52
  Erin Gray: Um, and we can go into this fight, flight, freeze response, and what I call a survival mode.
• 2:58
  Erin Gray: And it's not a creative place.
• 3:01
  Erin Gray: It's not a place that, you know, we want to be making decisions from a very creative, expansive, abundant place, not from a fight, flight, freeze, survival mode, protect, shrink place.
• 3:15
  Erin Gray: And so often we have also tied money and money decisions to our identity and our self-worth.
• 3:24
  Erin Gray: You know, I know that this has been my story.
• 3:26
  Erin Gray: I know that I have seen it in clients and friends.
• 3:29
  Erin Gray: So if I in the past, if Aaron used to, you know, if I used to make decisions that would lose money, air quotes, lose money.
• 3:38
  Erin Gray: Money can never be lost.
• 3:40
  Erin Gray: You know, it's circulated, it comes back.
• 3:42
  Erin Gray: But let's just say that I didn't see the return immediately, or I judged how I had invested, then I would make it mean something about me as a person.
• 3:52
  Erin Gray: And more often than not, I would make it mean that I was a bad person or I did something wrong.
• 3:56
  Erin Gray: More so I did something wrong.
• 3:58
  Erin Gray: Not that I didn't look at it from the lens of growth of like I made a decision, I got more data and I learned from it.
• 4:06
  Erin Gray: And how am I going to take this information and move forward?
• 4:10
  Erin Gray: And I think every decision that we make, whether the money, I always like to think and believe that like the money comes back twofold instantly, because that is a very empowering belief for me, versus I'm going to invest this money and I don't know when I'm going to see it.
• 4:25
  Erin Gray: Like that doesn't feel very good in the body.
• 4:27
  Erin Gray: So I think a lot of us have, you know, tied up our who we think we are, who we believe ourselves to be if we make a decision with money.
• 4:37
  Erin Gray: We're so afraid we act from such a fear-based place of if I make this or if I invest in this, and what if I lose this?
• 4:45
  Erin Gray: Versus like, how is this going to expand me?
• 4:48
  Erin Gray: How am I going to grow?
• 4:49
  Erin Gray: How is this going to expand my business, my mindset?
• 4:52
  Erin Gray: You know, always be looking at investing your money as in a growth way, not as in a protective shrinking way.
• 5:00
  Erin Gray: So signs, or I would say, like the way that I have seen it present in myself and in clients and friends of mine and people that I, you know, have been around that you might be, I don't like the word lacking financial trust, but maybe not as strong or empowered with, you know, trusting yourself with financial decisions.
• 5:24
  Erin Gray: You know, anytime that you are making a decision, I call it in your head.
• 5:29
  Erin Gray: You go out of your body into your head.
• 5:31
  Erin Gray: So you're overthinking and just recognize when you're in this space, right?
• 5:38
  Erin Gray: You are not in your body.
• 5:39
  Erin Gray: You are not in the energy of calm and expansion.
• 5:43
  Erin Gray: So if this is you, if you are making this a decision and you are in this state, then I always recommend no decision needs to be made in that moment.
• 5:54
  Erin Gray: You either need to shift your energy and get back into your body, get back into an empowered state, or you just need to allow the energy to move.
• 6:03
  Erin Gray: And I always like, I think it's a perfect time to look at uh what are the beliefs that I'm thinking and feeling right now that is having me, you know, be in my head versus my body.
• 6:14
  Erin Gray: You could be overanalyzing your pricing investment decisions, you know, what your attorney or your CPA said.
• 6:22
  Erin Gray: You could be, I have some friends that just ask all the people, right?
• 6:27
  Erin Gray: So multiple people that you're asking for approval or what are their thoughts before acting.
• 6:34
  Erin Gray: You could be feeling guilt or shame or you know, anxiety, which is just a resistance to feeling fear when spending or investing.
• 6:42
  Erin Gray: So think about all of these lower vibration emotions, which I mean, shame is on the lowest end, and then it's guilt, and then I don't know where apathy is, but like apathy and doubt or worry, just those lower vibration emotions.
• 6:57
  Erin Gray: Anytime that we are feeling that, we are not in the energy of love and self-trust and expansion and abundance and joy, just those higher creativity or creative vibrations.
• 7:10
  Erin Gray: So just recognizing if you're in that state, do not make any decisions from that place because nothing that you are going to make from that place is going to then give you abundance on the other side.
• 7:21
  Erin Gray: If you are freezing when opportunities arise, you know, we want to feel what I always say is certain over hesitancy.
• 7:31
  Erin Gray: And one of my Kabbala teachers, he talks about certainty over logic, which I think that is kind of equates, right?
• 7:39
  Erin Gray: Like it's just you are certain and you are moving from a certain place versus hesitating or doubting or worrying.
• 7:49
  Erin Gray: I'll give you a quick example.
• 7:51
  Erin Gray: So, as some of you may know, I've had ordered a Tahoe.
• 7:55
  Erin Gray: It was in line to be made.
• 7:58
  Erin Gray: I guess GM decided they were stopping making the 25s and switching to the 26s.
• 8:04
  Erin Gray: So they denied my order after they said it had accepted.
• 8:08
  Erin Gray: There's all this behind-the-scenes stuff.
• 8:10
  Erin Gray: But basically, what it we were able to drive a GMC.
• 8:14
  Erin Gray: And when we went on um to a trip just a couple hours from here, and what I realized and recognized is I actually like the GM better than I liked the Chevy.
• 8:23
  Erin Gray: So it was an amazing, obviously, like everything always works out.
• 8:26
  Erin Gray: It was an amazing opportunity for, or I'm glad that my um order got canceled because then it allowed me to decide I wanted a GM.
• 8:36
  Erin Gray: And so in this process, as we're getting closer to 2026, there are, or at least where I live, there were air quotes, limited amounts.
• 8:46
  Erin Gray: I don't believe anything is limited, but you know, I was being told there was limited.
• 8:49
  Erin Gray: I'm like, I'm not believing this.
• 8:51
  Erin Gray: And so I was really getting to the point where like I wanted this car.
• 8:57
  Erin Gray: I did not want to wait six months or eight months to be built because they were gonna put, you know, all of these other ones in front of me, in the sense of like they're gonna mass produce and then they're gonna take special orders.
• 9:07
  Erin Gray: And I didn't want to wait for that.
• 9:08
  Erin Gray: And so I just held the vision that I was going to receive, like it, God was gonna bring me the exact, you know, AT4 that I wanted.
• 9:18
  Erin Gray: So when the sales guy that I have been working with, he texted and said, Hey, you want to go for a drive?
• 9:26
  Erin Gray: And there was a one that had come in that I had not been looking at that was kind of an upper the top of the line model or whatever.
• 9:33
  Erin Gray: And so I decided that that day.
• 9:35
  Erin Gray: So he texted me like at 1:30.
• 9:37
  Erin Gray: I was like, absolutely, I will be there this afternoon.
• 9:39
  Erin Gray: So, you know, from Thursday to Saturday, I bought a car.
• 9:42
  Erin Gray: Now, from the outside, looking in, it could look like, oh my gosh, that happened so quickly, you know, because my husband said a couple of weekends ago, he's like, Did you actually believe that you were gonna buy a car this weekend?
• 9:51
  Erin Gray: And I was like, I knew something was happening, happening this weekend because I was certain that I was going to, you know, I wasn't going to just like, oh, well, maybe I'll come drive it.
• 10:01
  Erin Gray: No, I want to drive this car and I'm going to make another decision based on, you know, sitting in this car.
• 10:07
  Erin Gray: And so moving from certainty, I truly believe is what created, you know, when I held the belief and I moved from, you know, like, because my husband was like, well, what if we get you, you know, maybe a used car or a used, you know, GM until the new ones come out.
• 10:25
  Erin Gray: And just me holding that vision of like, no, this is what I'm doing, this is what I want.
• 10:30
  Erin Gray: I am not backing down.
• 10:32
  Erin Gray: I am not compromising.
• 10:33
  Erin Gray: And moving from that certainty and not hesitating, like that is the energy that we need to be moving from.
• 10:40
  Erin Gray: And when we move from certainty, then that is when, like, it's almost like what they call like the 11th hour.
• 10:45
  Erin Gray: That's when the stuff shows up, right?
• 10:47
  Erin Gray: It's when we, hmm, him and ha, and like, oh, I wonder if, you know, I'll be able to, versus like, no, I know that there is a car because I imagine it in my mind.
• 10:57
  Erin Gray: So if I imagine it in my mind, it has to exist in the 5D.
• 11:01
  Erin Gray: We just got to bring it into the 3D.
• 11:03
  Erin Gray: So holding that vision, moving from certainty rather than hesitancy and like wondering and in like I already said, himming and hawing.
• 11:11
  Erin Gray: So really starting to practice more of moving from that place.
• 11:15
  Erin Gray: So, how do we actually build self-trust when it comes to money?
• 11:18
  Erin Gray: Like everything else, it is a practice.
• 11:20
  Erin Gray: And I always suggest like start small, start testing those waters, practice self-trust in lower stakes money decisions first.
• 11:28
  Erin Gray: I also want to say here that self-trust in doing what you say you are going to do.
• 11:33
  Erin Gray: So when you schedule something and you put it on your calendar and you don't do it, you are eroding your self-trust.
• 11:40
  Erin Gray: So I think that the work here is also doing what you say you're gonna do.
• 11:45
  Erin Gray: It's not just trusting yourself when you make a business decision.
• 11:48
  Erin Gray: It's trusting yourself that when you say you're gonna sit down and you're gonna look at your money, or you say you're gonna sit down and you're gonna work on, you know, like Mondays are typically podcast days for me.
• 11:58
  Erin Gray: I sit down and I work on my podcast.
• 12:00
  Erin Gray: Like I am building up the evidence that when I say I'm gonna do something, I do it.
• 12:04
  Erin Gray: When I put it on my calendar, I'm going to do it.
• 12:06
  Erin Gray: Now, I will be completely honest, as I always am with you.
• 12:09
  Erin Gray: This is not how I have always been, right?
• 12:11
  Erin Gray: Like there have been times in the past, many times, where I said I was gonna do something and I didn't.
• 12:16
  Erin Gray: But how we are with one thing is how we are with everything.
• 12:19
  Erin Gray: So you really have to start to think about well, where am I not trusting myself when I say I'm gonna do something I'm gonna do that doesn't even involve money, you know?
• 12:28
  Erin Gray: So really start to look there and see it's not just with money, you know, that we're developing self-trust.
• 12:35
  Erin Gray: It's in every area of our life.
• 12:37
  Erin Gray: The next thing that I would focus on is, as I always say, somatic regulation, right?
• 12:42
  Erin Gray: What are your go-to tools?
• 12:43
  Erin Gray: And I think that sometimes people want to like think this is optional.
• 12:47
  Erin Gray: In my mind, it's not optional.
• 12:49
  Erin Gray: Like, what are you doing on a weekly basis to regulate your nervous system so that when things do come up, it isn't this big ordeal to the body.
• 12:59
  Erin Gray: It's you already have skill sets and um practices in place to honor and to help your body in your nervous system.
• 13:07
  Erin Gray: So whether that be breath work or EFT tapping or grounding to calm your nervous system.
• 13:13
  Erin Gray: I've already talked about how I'm such a huge fan of emotion code release therapy.
• 13:17
  Erin Gray: You know, what are the things that you are going to do on a consistent basis?
• 13:21
  Erin Gray: And this is self-trust too, right?
• 13:23
  Erin Gray: What are you gonna do on a consistent basis that is gonna help you with your nervous system regulation?
• 13:28
  Erin Gray: The third thing would be, you know, ultimately is like internal guidance, right?
• 13:32
  Erin Gray: Your intuition, listening and developing your intuition.
• 13:35
  Erin Gray: You know, in the beginning, I didn't know what mine felt like.
• 13:38
  Erin Gray: So I had to play with it with the small stakes.
• 13:41
  Erin Gray: I had to play with it asking myself, going out to eat, taking one road over another.
• 13:46
  Erin Gray: And then I started, you know, expanding it and playing bigger with money decisions, with vacations, with business decisions.
• 13:53
  Erin Gray: And then it just continues to increase.
• 13:56
  Erin Gray: And what I also did that was helpful for me so I could kind of calm the ego mind is I kept a list of when I trusted my decisions from my intuition, how well it turned out, and when I didn't listen.
• 14:10
  Erin Gray: And I'm sure that you can probably, you know, relate that when I made decisions against my intuition.
• 14:18
  Erin Gray: Now I will say it always works out.
• 14:21
  Erin Gray: Like even when it doesn't feel like it's working out, it's still working out for us.
• 14:24
  Erin Gray: But, you know, one of the things that I really had to start keeping track of is look at all the ways it worked out way better than I even imagined when I listened to my intuition.
• 14:34
  Erin Gray: And then look when I tried to like, I call it, you know, mind, I call it mindfuck it, you know, like when you're trying to, you know, make decisions from your mind, even though your body and your intuition is telling you something different, it didn't work out.
• 14:51
  Erin Gray: Like I said, it does work out, but you know what I mean.
• 14:53
  Erin Gray: It's it was not as easy and it's like you're having to go through mud or you're trying to, you know, like it's like walking versus just jumping.
• 15:02
  Erin Gray: So really start to listen and hone in your intuition.
• 15:07
  Erin Gray: I think also something else that I'm noticing is a lot of us don't celebrate.
• 15:13
  Erin Gray: We don't celebrate all of these micro moments, all of these micro shifts that we're having, which we are basically withholding the dopamine from ourselves.
• 15:21
  Erin Gray: We're withholding the fun and the joy.
• 15:23
  Erin Gray: So acknowledge and celebrate each time you make a decision without overthinking.
• 15:30
  Erin Gray: Like, I can't tell you how often I will talk to clients and I'll say, Well, have you celebrated?
• 15:34
  Erin Gray: And they're like, No, and then they want to go on and I'll have to interrupt them and I'll say, Stop.
• 15:38
  Erin Gray: Like, you have to really become aware and celebrate how far you've come.
• 15:45
  Erin Gray: Celebrate what you have done and like live in that moment and in that feeling.
• 15:51
  Erin Gray: So every time that you make a decision from your intuition and you do it without overthinking and without asking other people's permission, just think about and celebrate how well it's turned out and give yourself an add a girl.
• 16:06
  Erin Gray: And I think that what I, you know, always come back to is are we willing?
• 16:14
  Erin Gray: You know, like I can tell you all of this stuff every single week.
• 16:18
  Erin Gray: I can give you all of my tips and tricks, but you've got to come back to are you willing to play with this and see how it goes and and love yourself, anyways.
• 16:29
  Erin Gray: Like, can you make a decision?
• 16:31
  Erin Gray: And you know, here's the thing about intuition we never know why, right?
• 16:35
  Erin Gray: Like there are things that I have followed my intuition and I thought my mind thought it was for this reason, but it actually showed up for another reason.
• 16:43
  Erin Gray: And so you have to lean in and you have to be willing to play with this.
• 16:46
  Erin Gray: And that's why I say start small.
• 16:48
  Erin Gray: But like if you want this big, grand life, whatever that looks like for you, you have to be willing to take some of the stuff and run with it and actually implement it.
• 16:57
  Erin Gray: You know, you have to embody it.
• 16:59
  Erin Gray: Like just talking about it, just thinking about it isn't going to get you where you want to go.
• 17:03
  Erin Gray: You've got to actually do the embodiment piece.
• 17:06
  Erin Gray: And so if this is something that you want guidance on, to feel more confident and grounded with your money and overall just decision making.
• 17:14
  Erin Gray: Like I think that is one of the most powerful things that we can do for ourselves is to trust ourselves with our decision making and making decisions from our intuition.
• 17:23
  Erin Gray: I invite you to schedule a one-on-one call with me.
• 17:26
  Erin Gray: Like together we can look through and see like, how are you currently making decisions?
• 17:31
  Erin Gray: Like ease some of this financial anxiety.
• 17:33
  Erin Gray: And I, you know, am a strong proponent of empowering you to make decisions so that you trust yourself.
• 17:40
  Erin Gray: So all you have to do, if that resonates with you, is just click the link in the show notes and we can and just schedule a call and we can see if we are a good fit and then how I can support you.
• 17:49
  Erin Gray: Okay, so let's talk about like the practical 3D ways for to develop more financial clarity.
• 17:55
  Erin Gray: One thing I always ask, because I think a lot of times if we aren't aware, or depending on where we are in the process with some of our, what would you call it, evolution of our consciousness?
• 18:06
  Erin Gray: We're focusing on what we don't want, which I've talked about in the past before, is great when it gives you the contrast and it shows you, hey, I don't want this.
• 18:14
  Erin Gray: So then you start to question what do you want?
• 18:17
  Erin Gray: But I always ask myself, what would I love?
• 18:19
  Erin Gray: And this cuts right through the bullshit and it shows you what your heart's desire is.
• 18:23
  Erin Gray: It's not a head response, right?
• 18:25
  Erin Gray: This is, and and the courageous part is acting on it.
• 18:28
  Erin Gray: You know, when I say what would I love, and I really get down to what it would be, then the next step for me is okay, it's actually taking the action.
• 18:38
  Erin Gray: So I also always like to ask this question like, if I was making a hundred million dollars, would I make this decision?
• 18:46
  Erin Gray: Like that gets you out of for me, and at least for clients, gets me out of my head into my body immediately because it takes money off the table.
• 18:54
  Erin Gray: And I think a lot of us are conditioned to make decisions based on money versus what do we actually desire?
• 19:00
  Erin Gray: So it also has you acting like from the end, not where you currently are.
• 19:06
  Erin Gray: I think a lot of us have been taught, and I'm gonna do an episode on this on law of supply, but a lot of us have been taught to make decisions on if we have the money in the account.
• 19:15
  Erin Gray: But there have been so many numerous times that I have made money, uh money decisions, not even when the money was in the account.
• 19:22
  Erin Gray: It's when you leap, it's when you create the demand.
• 19:26
  Erin Gray: That's when the supply shows up.
• 19:27
  Erin Gray: So when you are making decisions from the person that you are right now, you're gonna create more of the same.
• 19:33
  Erin Gray: You have to make decisions on who you are, you know, becoming or, and I know that's we already are that person right now because there is no, you know, past, present, future.
• 19:42
  Erin Gray: But you really have to make decisions from the end.
• 19:45
  Erin Gray: Um, another question that you can ask yourself are like, what is the next just the next step?
• 19:49
  Erin Gray: You know, sometimes I think that we think we have to make all of these decisions up front.
• 19:54
  Erin Gray: Like I was talking to a client the other day and I was like, listen, let's just make this decision and then let's make another decision.
• 20:00
  Erin Gray: But you can't make decision, you know, B, C, and D until you actually make decision A.
• 20:05
  Erin Gray: So you got to get more and not more information as in more gathered, uh, more data gathering and sit on it, but like you don't even know which way you want to go because you don't know all of the facts yet.
• 20:15
  Erin Gray: So let's just get the data and the facts.
• 20:17
  Erin Gray: Let's make this decision, let's hire this person, let's do this thing, and then we can make another decision.
• 20:22
  Erin Gray: So I believe like that's how business, you know, works.
• 20:27
  Erin Gray: It's that's how business in life works, right?
• 20:29
  Erin Gray: Like you've got to be able to trust your intuition, make a decision, and then get more data and make another decision.
• 20:35
  Erin Gray: I want to say that, you know, truth, desire, intuition, they feel calm and peaceful in the body.
• 20:44
  Erin Gray: Now, it might feel a little when I say calm and peaceful, what I mean is like it's just like it's just a yes or a no.
• 20:51
  Erin Gray: It's just a go here, do this.
• 20:53
  Erin Gray: It's call this person, try this thing.
• 20:55
  Erin Gray: Like it's just so simple.
• 20:57
  Erin Gray: Now, when you start to take action, the body might feel a little bit because it's unfamiliar, but that doesn't mean that it's a wrong, and I'm ear quoting a wrong decision.
• 21:07
  Erin Gray: It just means your body's not familiar with this.
• 21:09
  Erin Gray: So recognizing that your mind might want to chatter, but the real work here is moving from our bodies, not from our minds, allowing this unfamiliar and being in that messy middle, like I call it in the middle of the river, right?
• 21:26
  Erin Gray: And to keep going.
• 21:27
  Erin Gray: And we have a choice.
• 21:28
  Erin Gray: When we are in that middle of the river, you can go back to where you were.
• 21:31
  Erin Gray: You already know what that looks like.
• 21:33
  Erin Gray: Or you can keep going and get to the other side, and you're gonna have, you know, different things and you're gonna be more expanded and the, you know, really creating the life that you want, but you're gonna go through the river either way.
• 21:45
  Erin Gray: You get to choose do you get what you want on the other side, or do you continue to stay in the discomfort that you currently are in?
• 21:52
  Erin Gray: Okay, that's all I have for you today.
• 21:54
  Erin Gray: As always, you are on your way, you're doing it.
• 21:57
  Erin Gray: And if you would love some support and have someone with you along the way, cheering you on, empowering you, you know, sharing tips and tricks and speeding things up for you and really helping you change your not just your money mindset, but your overall consciousness, I'm here for you.
• 22:16
  Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.