Latest / Afzal's Reset Entropy Podcast / Why You Feel Empty After Getting What You Wanted

Transcript

Why You Feel Empty After Getting What You Wanted · Afzal's Reset Entropy Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have felt this even if you have never said it out loud.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: You worked towards something, a goal, a milestone, a version of your life.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: You were sure would feel different.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: And once you got there, and then you got there.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And within days, something within hours, the feeling was gone already.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: The high faded faster than you expected, and some quiet part of you was already scanning for the next thing to chase.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And underneath all a thought you don't like admitting is this today.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about why getting what you wanted so often leaves you feeling emptier than become or before you hired.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a real reason, and it's not that you need a bigger goal.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what actually happens when you're chasing something, the chase gives you a sense of purpose, direction, identity.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know you who you are, you know you're the person going after that thing.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: The wanting fills your days, it gives you a reason to get up a story about where your life will be going to, and you mistake that feeling, the aliveness of the chase for the thing you are chasing.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I assume that goal will give you that feeling permanently, but that feeling was never coming from the goal itself, it was coming from the pursuit.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So the moment you arrive, the pursuit ends automatically, and the feeling it was generating ends with it too.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you didn't lose the goal, you lost the chase, and the chase was the thing that was actually making you feel alive, and the whole of that.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's why many times it is said that enjoy the journey, not the not the destination, or work from the angle of enjoying the journey, not to the because of the angle of destination.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do most people do?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: They immediately find a new thing to chase because this time because the chase felt good and they want that feeling back.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: They have concluded that last goal just wasn't big enough, and it works for a while.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: The new person feels the empty agency until they achieve that one, two, and the floor again just drops to where it was.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now they need something even bigger.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is a treadmill, and a lot of high functioning people spend their entire life on it.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Achieve feel empty, chase something bigger, achieve feel empty faster and faster with less and less satisfaction each time.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because they are using external achievement to solve an internal problem.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm never doubting the external thing, it always gives them the something better and greater.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: But what about the satisfaction?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And no external thing has ever filled an internal emptiness.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, where am I hinting towards?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: It can distract from the internal emptiness.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the chase does, but it cannot fill it.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: The moment the distraction ends, the emptiness is still exactly where it was.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are you actually looking for?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: For underneath every goal, not the goal itself, you're looking for a feeling to feel enough, to feel whole, to feel that you're okay, that you matter, that you can finally rest.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the hard truth.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: You've been trying to get the feeling from the outside through achievement when it was only ever available from the inside.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: What I am trying to say is align both of the things, align yourself.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: The reason that emptiness keeps returning is that it's not an achievement problem, it's a relationship with yourself problem.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, you learn that you are only okay when you are producing, winning, becoming more, so you can never stop.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because stopping means facing a version of yourself that doesn't feel like enough on its own.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Pause, sit in the arrival, don't feel it.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself feel what's there when you are not chasing that emptiness you meet in that pause is the actual thing, and that's the thing worth our working on because it's the one no goal will ever fix.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: When you complete this inner self, then working for the exterior actually doubles.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know how?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because right now you're not chasing outside stuff, you're attracting, you've already fulfilled your inner self while you are checking the milestone outside.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: So when you achieve that external success, also you're happy for a longer time, and you have a motive and intent to move towards a particular direction.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you are always at a high spirit and high motivation level.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have gotten what you wanted and felt hollow instead of full, you're not ungrateful, you're not broken, you're just been looking in the one place, the answer was never going to be there.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Simple, and the chase was never going to deliver what it promised because what you are looking for was never out there.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was a way of relating to yourself that no achievement can hand you, and that's the real work.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Not a bigger goal, not a different relationship within the person achieving them.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to get what looks like, there is a free video at the link.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Break the loop, research reality, go to that link, understand the thing, and then reach out to me if you want help in any of the sections.