Latest / Birth at Work / S2 EP23 | Lindsey Suriani: Silence is Compliance & How Working Parents Changed Culture

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S2 EP23 | Lindsey Suriani: Silence is Compliance & How Working Parents Changed Culture · Birth at Work

• Krislyn Powell: Lindsey it is so lovely to have you on the show today. We're excited for you to join and share your story a little bit about motherhood and about your career as well. And I would love for you to just take a few moments to talk about yourself personally, professionally, and why you joined the Birth at Work podcast today. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, so thank you. I'm so excited to have the conversation with you today. You know, my name is Lindsey. I am a working mom of twin boys who are 10 and I have a daughter who's six. And yeah, I mean, professionally, I've been working for over 15 years now. I've had various positions in global organizations ranging from supply chain, customer service, sales, systems analyst. Yeah, so really excited to kind of talk about this topic. I've been very passionate about. working parents and all of that for many years. So yeah, looking forward to the conversation. Krislyn Powell: Yes, so again, I'm just so happy to have you. I know you have expressed to me, like personally that you are a really strong working parent advocate and have wanted to get involved in different ways and support working mothers and talk about, you know, what is the reality of being a working parent? And, you know, not only when we are birthing babies, like, you know, I have a seven month old, like when we... we still have kids that we're raising as they get older and what the dynamic like that is like, and even. you know, offering perspectives and the forms of mentorship of like you being a bit more of a seasoned mom and helping mothers who are first time moms, second time moms along the Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: way. So I love that you are leaning into building community and that you've been vocal about that in various workplaces. And I'd love to just start kind of at the beginning or at least look back at like, you know, you have had 14 years at a global chemical company and you've been in operations and customer facing roles. I imagine that things were a bit different when you first had your kids than they are now. And Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: so I'd love for you to share a little bit about what has changed and what your experience was like if you would, yeah, just kind of juxtaposition of the two, if you will. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, yeah, like I said, my boys, my twins are 10, so I became Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: a mom over 10 years ago. And I think for me, I never really viewed the working parent as a thing before I had my kids, right? I wasn't really paying attention to what the working parents at work were going through. But there also wasn't a big discussion about it at the workplace. Like it was never something, you know, we never really had events that I was notified about. Like it really just wasn't, I think in the work culture, wasn't really talked about, you know? And then, you know, and then I had my boys and I came back from work and realized very quickly that for me I needed support, not just from the workplace, like what the company can do. but from my peers because a lot was changing going back to work, like it was a lot. So I really leaned into that to try to now figure out like, why wasn't anybody talking about this before? How do we talk about it a lot now? Because I don't know what to do or what to think or what to experience. So for me, it really like came all at once as soon as I became a mom. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, it kind of hits you, right? I mean, I remember as like a young professional in my first few roles and seeing my coworkers as working parents and just thinking, yeah, you know, they just drop them off at daycare and it's just easy. They come to work and they do the thing. They go Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: home, they go to sleep. It's no big deal. And then I became a mom. It's harder than it looks. So Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: I understand that like shortly after you became a mom, you... had the opportunity to help build an ERG, is that right? So like, did that exist before you becoming a mom? Did you advocate for it? Did you get invited to join? Like what was that process for folks who, you know, maybe haven't joined an ERG and are listening in or want to become more vocal in their organizations? What was that like for you? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, so again, before I had the kids, ERG is an employee resource group and many companies have several of these just supporting different groups. But again, I really wasn't paying attention to that before I had my kids. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: And then when I came back, we had somebody who was at the time in our rewards benefits program who really led the charge on this, who really saw a need for it. And to be honest, when I look back and think about it, we sort of naturally came together, this group of moms. Actually, a few of us happened to have twins that were all around the same age. A couple other ones had kids around the same age. And it was almost like an unspoken, we all wanted this, let's just do it. So Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: it really was like a grassroots movement of us building it, but also getting support and a budget from leadership. And we really just went with it. And again, it was just us sort of building it. So we really focused on the stage that we were in, which was having Krislyn Powell: Mm-hmm. Lindsey Suriani: very young children. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, yeah. And I feel like that's how things are created, right? When you're actually having the experience and realizing the pain points and then you're like, think there are other people that could benefit from this and let's build the thing to help them along the way. That's that journey mapping aspect of it and you taking your customer experience and pouring into the Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Krislyn Powell: employee experience, right? And I understand, like you said, these moms banded together with you and your fellow working moms, it started out as primarily catering to working mothers, but then it expanded to working parents, right? As that conversation shifted a little bit, what did that expansion look like incorporating dads into the conversation? And was there Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: interest? How did that kind of naturally organically occur? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, so. It was funny because one thing that we did was we would host these small events at work, right? Maybe during lunch or a half hour here and there. It could be coffee chats. We were doing a whole bunch of these small events and we decided Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: to do this one event where we had parents come and they were able to build like care packages for their college students that we would actually mail for them. And, you know, we're helping people build these boxes and somebody looks at us and they were like, this is really great. I actually thought this group only catered to like parents with small young kids. And that really hit Krislyn Powell: Mmm, I think. Lindsey Suriani: us like, oh, wow, that, yeah, I guess it is because again, that's what we mostly were experiencing. And Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: it was at that point that we said, like, who else are we missing? Like, Krislyn Powell: Mm-hmm. Lindsey Suriani: there's a whole journey of parenthood, different types of parents, step parents, adoptive parents, parents with kids with disability. I mean, there it was like the different types of working parents. And also, right, we really didn't have a dad on our team to help us see their aspect and what they needed. So it was that point that we really branched out and asked who else wants to join. So we would have these informal meetings where people could come and talk to us. And there really was a lot of interest. And I Krislyn Powell: Mm-hmm. Lindsey Suriani: do think it's because everybody's sort of going through a different experience and they wanted to also talk about it and contribute to what we were doing. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, I love that. And I think they're like you mentioned, there's different seasons of parenthood. I feel like, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: you know, whether you're sending your kid off to preschool for the first time, or they're leaving for college, it still feels like a piece of yourself is walking outside of your body, right? Like you're a piece of your heart, you know? And so Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah. Krislyn Powell: even like no matter what. stage you're at, there's the ability to relate in that greater Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: experience of being that apparent. So I love that you were able to expand as you saw like, yeah, like, you know, there is a need, like we can offer, you know, more support for Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: other parents and... It seems like too, you know, just what I'm hearing is like you're pretty fearless and like speaking out and being loud and vocal about like, you know, how to support and getting involved and volunteering Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: and meeting other people and learning needs. And the phrase that comes to mind for me is like parenting out loud. I know for some folks, like I've received, you know, messages on LinkedIn and things like that where some moms are like nervous to talk about it and job interviews or in the workplace, like if I'm a mom, like is that gonna set me back and how do I Lindsey Suriani: huh. Krislyn Powell: navigate like this part of my identity? you know, in terms of like parenting out loud, what does that mean to you and how do you do that in your day-to-day life and how do you balance that with your career? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, I mean, for me, I mean, if I had like a tagline, I think that followed me around, it would say parenting out loud at all times. Krislyn Powell: Hahaha Lindsey Suriani: You know, I'll never forget it. There was this this one morning going to work. My boys, probably the twins were probably maybe two, maybe a little younger. My husband at that point was traveling a lot for work. And it was just one of those mornings where everything went wrong. You know, Krislyn Powell: Yeah Lindsey Suriani: I think somebody threw up on themselves. They wouldn't eat their breakfast. I something after we left the house. I had to go back. I forgot to let the dog out. I had to go back home and do that. Like it was really one of those mornings, like if I told you, like you wouldn't believe all the things that went wrong. you know, but eventually I got them to daycare, I got to work, and as I'm like putting all my bags down and I'm taking my jacket off, a co-worker says, you know, he just says, hey, good morning, how are you? And I remember pausing, and I'm thinking, you know, I probably should say, I'm good, how are you? But I just, I sat down, and I told this man all about my morning, and how insane Krislyn Powell: Hahaha. Lindsey Suriani: it was. And you know, he, you know, he was, he was like, let's, let's talk about it, you know, so for five minutes, we were sort of talking about it. And for me, was Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: almost like I was able to talk about it, sort of transition my day into the chaotic morning and now I can just focus on work, right? And it took me five Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: minutes to do that. And otherwise I may have just sat at my desk, been miserable all day thinking about it, let it ruin the whole day. But it was really in that Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: moment where I thought, you know, I'm done not talking about it. Right? Like, why Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: do I hide this? This is really what I go through every day. Like, sometimes when I come to work, it really was a bad morning, or even vice versa, right? Sometimes I go home at night to the kids and it was a bad day at work. Like, I just couldn't not talk about it anymore at that point. It was never gonna go back in the bottle for me. I was always gonna talk about it. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, I love how you mentioned too, like it literally took five minutes and you Lindsey Suriani: Yes. Krislyn Powell: made, you had like a human connection and like kudos to your coworker too for hearing you out and like providing the space for you to honestly say, know. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: was kind of a tough morning and here's why. I'm a parent and sometimes it's chaos. Lindsey Suriani: It was bad. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: That is so cool. And I feel like that's, it's cool too that it's like, that was the trigger point for you where you were like, yeah, Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: it just makes sense. Like, why am I hiding this point? Or maybe Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Krislyn Powell: you weren't before like hiding that, that, you know, part of Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: yourself, but it might've seemed easier and more convenient for other people to like not really be honest about how your morning Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: was and just say, good. But that, yeah, that's a great story and just like kind of proof of concept for other folks listening in of like, yeah, it doesn't have to be, you know, it doesn't have to take longer than five minutes. You don't have to get into all the gritty details, but you can share honestly, you know, what Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: it's like in your life being a working parent. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: So cool. Picking back to the ERG work and just, you know, jumping back to that loop that we had closed earlier in terms of like how it grew, why you joined, Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: what you created. were there any monumental moments for you where you felt like, okay, we've shifted a policy here, or we've created a culture here that didn't exist before, or there's, you know, a qualitative feedback that came from this experience that we provided these parents where, you somebody really enjoyed attending this event or you know we we created change in the workplace and is that like was that fuel to your fire you know walk us through maybe some tangible things that you pulled from working with this ERG. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, I mean, I think I I think one of the biggest things we did was the culture shift. We made it very apparent that working parents needed support, they needed community, they needed to be able to have these conversations, not only with their peers, but also with their managers and their leadership teams. So I think the biggest thing we did was culturally, we opened up that discussion at work, where before we weren't really having those types of discussions. was some policy change that we did get implemented. had one of the one of the women that we were working with really advocated for like a documented miscarriage leave. And that's something that did Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: get implemented, you know, and that was huge for us. Another thing was we actually we helped sort of fuel like the need for parental leave so that dads and partners could get, you know, many like up to weeks and weeks off to be home and support their spouse. and to also bond with their child, you know. So I think a lot of those changes, you know, what I think I like best about it is eventually people didn't have to ask for these things, they were being offered. And that Krislyn Powell: Hmm. Lindsey Suriani: way they weren't feel like they were asking for something special, but it was really just something that they needed, that maybe they didn't even realize they needed. So yeah, but I do think the biggest thing for us was the culture change. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, yeah, that's huge. And I feel like with that culture shift, some other things tend to pop up on their own over time, like policies change. Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: conversations Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: are had. It's a more friendly and supportive workplace. People like being there, the retention rates increase. There's a lot of things that are kind of like domino effect that are indirectly correlated to just Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: culture shifts and having that presence. And I like how you brought up the, well, one, the miscarriage policy being written out is huge. know... Like I experienced a miscarriage with my first and not like there was no policy in place at the workplace that I was at it was kind like take Lindsey Suriani: Right, yeah, yeah. Krislyn Powell: all the time that you need and I'm like I don't that's unclear what yeah, what is this but then Lindsey Suriani: Right. Right. Krislyn Powell: also the the parental leave and Encouraging that Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: in different ways. I know a friend of mine recently advocated for more time for her parental leave a startup Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: she's working at and based on statistics and research that she did and showing best practices, the policy was increased, so that was really cool. Lindsey Suriani: That's great. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: So I love talking about this stuff. think it's just like the culture shift is key and having a presence and providing a safe space for working parents. But I'm curious to Let's talk about your own experience. So like you Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: mentioned, you have three kids, including twins, and I would Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: love to hear a little bit about your experience birthing those kids, what it was like taking leave and then returning to work. What was that like for you as a first time mom versus second time? How did that differ? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, I I think, you I was very lucky because with both of my pregnancies, I was able to be home between like five and six months, which is usually, it's a lot more than a lot of people get. So I Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: was very grateful to have that time with them. Now with my boys going back to work, it was really a lot of anxieties because I'm thinking to myself, they've only been with me, you know, and my husband pretty much like for this whole time, you know, now I'm gonna drop them off someplace that I met these people like twice and I have to like go back Krislyn Powell: Hmm. Lindsey Suriani: to work. I have to figure out this new routine. Like there was so many anxieties about going back to work with the boys. And I remember dropping them off and it felt so weird driving away. I dropped them at daycare, now I'm driving to work, it's just me. And I did have a hint of excitement, going back to work and just kind of getting back into the routine, talking to adults on a regular basis sounded like a nice thing. But for Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: me to, yeah, but for me to, throughout the day, it hits you in waves. especially like the first time I pumped at work. It just, I remember just feeling so overwhelmed in that moment because it was so sad to not be with them. And one thing with the boys, know, whenever I really would feel sad, I kept thinking to myself, yeah, but if they're sad, they're gonna look over and see each other, right? Like they're gonna have somebody super familiar, Krislyn Powell: Aww. Lindsey Suriani: like that if they're sad, you they know their brother is there. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: But what's funny is, right, versus my daughter, where I... I had way more experience about going back to work and what to expect, how to plan the day, know what I'm gonna do that day. But then I remember thinking, my goodness, she's not gonna have anybody there. She's alone, right? So again, I'm super prepared for this day. I've done it before. And then I realize... no, this is like a totally different experience, right? So you do have to give yourself Krislyn Powell: Yeah, I know. Lindsey Suriani: some grace on even your first time, second time, third time, because each experience is its own. You can't really predict some of the things that will happen. So for me, like just allowing myself like to be sad if I needed to be sad or to give myself grace, like I allowed myself to do that. Because as a parent in general, you learn very quickly, don't plan anything because nothing will go that way. So yeah, I mean, think you have to really, you know, want to set certain goals for the day, but you want to have very low expectations because you want to be nice to yourself. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: that's actually really poignant that you're bringing that up and just the... I read somewhere recently that as a new mom, know, having a recent baby, Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: all that, like kind of the first year postpartum, it's like... like having kind of like one goal in mind a day, like one thing that you accomplish, like in having that be enough, just one, like the laundry got put away today, great. Not that you can't Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yeah. Just one. Yeah. Yep. Just one. Yep. Krislyn Powell: like be, you when you're back at work and at home accomplishing Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: everything, but it's like having that like, that one big thing that you, is your focus or whatever, so that you feel like I accomplished that, I did that, that's the success of the day. And so, yeah, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: I like how you reframe that as being gentle with yourself and really postpartum for you too in the healing process and the bonding and caring for the child almost just as much as they were inside of you. They're just right outside of you, right? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yep. Krislyn Powell: It's all a lot. And so just... understanding that like they were birthed, now you're kind of being rebirthed and it's, it's yeah, it's a lot. So being gentle and I know you mentioned the first time you pumped at work and having that kind of realization of like, I'm feeling a lot of feelings here and that pumping and breastfeeding in the workplace, that's kind of one of your more passionate topics that you like Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: to lean into and advocate for. Tell us a little bit more about that, like your experience, why that's something you talk about, maybe how either the ERG or you have helped support other people who have had that similar experience. I know like for some people, they don't have supportive workplaces where they feel Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: like it's comfortable to pump or things like that. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, you know for me like you know, nursing the twins was a huge accomplishment for me. It was something I really wanted to do. I went through a whole bunch of feeling guilty about certain things. So, you know, and again, I was home with them, like I said, about five and a half months. So we really got on a good routine, but I was also proud of myself because I eventually, I said, you know what, I'm not going to feel guilty. So we started supplementing a little bit with formula and then we really Krislyn Powell: Mm-hmm. Lindsey Suriani: found a routine that worked for me. And then it was like time to go back to work, right? Like, you know, so Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: then I had to, you then I was like, okay, now I'm to be pumping throughout the day. Like, how do I do that? How do I schedule? Like, there was so many questions. And again, you know, for me, that's how I really wanted to continue the journey with breastfeeding and nursing. So luckily, the day I went back, one of my coworkers had just also gotten back a few weeks before I did. And she really walked me through like, here's the key to the room. There's a refrigerator in there. there's like a schedule so you can actually see what other moms will be in there. But there was like a nursing room on every floor. Like I felt super supported. Yeah, Krislyn Powell: great. Lindsey Suriani: which was amazing. And again, I was sort of able to continue that journey that I wanted to in my own way. But then also I started to look at it as you know, It's such a whirlwind, a whirlwind. Every day you're dropping your kids off at daycare. You're going to work. You're, it's, you never stop. So for me, I started to take the time in the pumping room was really my time, although I was away from the kids to connect with them again. So it was, Krislyn Powell: Mm. Lindsey Suriani: I'm doing this for them. I'm doing this for us. I, someone had told me like print out a picture of the kids, like with the twins and have it on the table. Like really take that time to just focus on them. Like that was my time during the day to reconnect with them. So it was so important. to me to continue that as long as I wanted to. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: And then from the ERG perspective, we realized like, Hey, yeah, a lot of parents are probably a lot of moms are probably coming back and they don't even know that we have a nursing room or they don't even know that there's a schedule to make sure that you have the time you need. So then we actually implemented a process that when they returned, they actually got to meet with one of us and we, you know, we walked them through the process. Here's the key, here's the rooms, here's the schedule, there's an overflow room. And that just really took like, it really took away that anxiety because there's so many Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: anxieties when you go back that we were like this is the one we can help with, day one, that they can continue the journey if they want. And then another thing we did was if you're traveling for work, know, there's benefits with that, you can actually have your like milk shipped home. So that was also, Krislyn Powell: yeah. Lindsey Suriani: yeah, that's a big one. Because again, that's, you know, I don't want it, I don't want to travel for work because I'm doing this, but it allows them if they want to make that decision, they can. Krislyn Powell: Mm-hmm. Lindsey Suriani: But again, a lot of people didn't even know that those things existed. So from our perspective, we just wanted to get the word out. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, I think that that's really cool the way that you were able to educate them. And like Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: you said, there's so many different anxieties that pop up when you have Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: kids, you return to work, all those things, and you can't necessarily fix everything for them, right? But like the Lindsey Suriani: Right, yep. Krislyn Powell: day one stuff is like, hey, welcome back. Like, let's get Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: you comfortable and... know, acquainted with the resources and support that you need so that you can decide like what is best for you and Lindsey Suriani: No. Krislyn Powell: you know, like what's gonna support you the most. And I also love that you mentioned the shipping benefit of shipping the milk Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: back if they were traveling. I know even just like, you know, I, we took a personal trip a few weeks Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: back. I was pumping on the trip, but you know, we're, I'm. primarily breastfeeding, however, I do pump like once a day Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: or if if baby takes a bottle with care or anything like that. So, Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: but yeah, I had like some milk and it was like, it's like a whole thing figuring out like, how do we store this? Do we, do we just dump it? Do we bring it with it? Like, Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: so to have that benefit is huge, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: especially with work travel that can be several days and whatnot. So very cool. I... I'm going to pivot a little bit in our conversation. know I mentioned, Lindsey Suriani: Sure. Krislyn Powell: well, after you had mentioned the miscarriage policy that ERG came up with, and I mentioned that I had experienced that. I know you and I have connected and that you've had pregnancy loss as well. Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: Did that experience help shape your advocacy? And what did you feel like you needed during that time that maybe wasn't there? Or how? How did you feel like you've helped shift things for other parents that are going through similar things that you did? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, you know, like I mentioned, my boys are 10 years old, so I've been a mom for over 10 years. And when I look back, that pregnancy loss, because it happened before I had my boys, was really my first experience being a working parent, when I really look back at everything. You know, I actually, it was the first like ultrasound appointment. I was super excited about it. I took the first appointment they had. So it was like sometime in the morning and the office was right by my work. So me and my husband like left work for a little while to meet at the appointment. And then my plan was to just go back to work afterwards, right? And then we go and we get this awful news and you know, Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: we kind of took a minute together and eventually we had to pull ourselves together to realize like, yeah, we have to, you we have to go home. Like we have to, you we came in separate cars and, and, and, Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: know, I then it dawned on me, like I left my work computer and everything at the office because I was planning Krislyn Powell: on. Lindsey Suriani: to just go back to work. And, you know, I was not going to go back to work, right? I was going to go right home. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: But I was thinking like, but I don't even want to come back to work tomorrow. So I have to get Krislyn Powell: Mm. Lindsey Suriani: my stuff. So what I did, I there was a girl on my team. was very close with her and I called her from like the lobby and I said, you know, you know, I just came from a doctor's appointment. I didn't really get great news and but I need all my work stuff. Can you bring it down? And she was like, absolutely. I'll meet you. So she runs down and and it was while I was waiting for her, I'm thinking, am I going to like tell her what happened? Like I didn't even stop to think about that. There's so many things going through my mind in this moment. Krislyn Powell: Bye. Lindsey Suriani: But when she got there, just, I don't know, I just felt, I don't know if it was that I wanted to talk about it or I wanted to say it out loud, but I kind of told her what happened. And she was a mom, she was a young mother, and she said to me, listen, go home, don't work, I will tell our boss that you're sick, I want you to take some sick days, I'll take care of everything, you just go home, and if you need anything, you let me know. And it was almost Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: like permission that... I can take some time to sort of, because not only what's coming physically, but I'm grieving and I don't really recognize it at that point. And it comes days later. It comes the next day. It comes at night. And it never really leaves you. And it absolutely shapes the kind of parent you become because you realize how quickly things can change, how things may not be always so good. And it helps you prepare for those moments. But I think for me, I always think back, Thank goodness I had her because I didn't want to walk Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: up those stairs in my office looking, you know, like I had just been visibly upset and having anybody thinking like, what's wrong? What's the matter? Like, thank goodness I was able to just tell her. You know, so I think, like, for example, these miscarriage policies are huge because it's not Krislyn Powell: Thank Lindsey Suriani: something you really need to hide or ask for. You can just take it because it's there and it's available. And if you do need it, unfortunately, at least it's something that can support you right then in that moment. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, yeah, well, and yeah, just echoing like What an incredible friend that you had that was just like first off not even a second thought like of course I'll bring your stuff and then obviously like you know when you shared with her kind of what had happened like You know take sick time like don't even worry about a thing That's I think that you know That's something that everyone needs when they're going through that kind of experience And then Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Yep. Krislyn Powell: for the ERG to play a role as well later down the road I feel like that's coming full circle for you of like this Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: should be be like plain English, like anyone that needs this benefit should be able to take it kind of thing. And we should map out, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: you know, so that people that have just received devastating news don't have to Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: question like, I don't even know, like, what do I do next? Like, I know I don't want to come to work tomorrow, but like, what does that even look like? Right? that's, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: so I know we've we've already connected about this, but again, just Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: like so sorry for that loss. mean, it's something I think when you and I had a conversation outside of the show, we said something Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: along the lines of like, it's a club that, you know, nobody wants to be in, but everyone's really supportive who has Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: experienced that type of loss. So thank you for sharing that with us. I think Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: there are more listeners than we think that have experienced it or are nervous about that happening. And so it's something Lindsey Suriani: near. Krislyn Powell: we need to be talking about. I'm also curious, you mentioned that you've reconnected with some hobbies as you've Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: become a parent and that has Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: helped support you and your well-being and I'd love to chat a little bit about that because like, you you said your kids have grown, they're not babies anymore, right? But they're still young and so I Lindsey Suriani: Right. Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: imagine you have some... like more time to yourself, but you're still busy as a working parent. And so Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: do you feel like when they were younger, you had to kind of set some hobbies on the shelf or some passions that you had, and then as they've gotten a little bit older, you've been able to maybe teach them some of the things that you really enjoy doing and like interact together, and that's been like a bonding experience, or even like that you found, okay, I have a little bit more extra time and I can reengage in things that I love doing and see people that I miss. and things like that. And what has that been like for you? I I think about things like that as I'm like breastfeeding around the clock, you know? It's like, yeah. So tell us. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, yes. Yes. Yeah, it's funny that you mentioned like you're thinking about it while you're breastfeeding because I think the first hobby I had after I became a mom... somebody had given me like a big huge Tupperware full of like diapers that they had that their kids never use that they gave me. I think it was my mother. And it Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: was actually right underneath the crib. So I used to in the middle of the night, I actually used to nurse the boys on the floor because it was the safest place for me to maneuver them like by myself. So Krislyn Powell: Okay, yeah. Lindsey Suriani: one yeah, like that was, you me on the floor. And for some reason in this Tupperware container, there was a bag of rubber bands. I don't know why my mother needed so many rubber bands, but I actually started making a rubber band ball, like as I was nursing them. So then it became like, then it was like, how big do you think I can make this thing? Like then I became really into it. Like I wonder how big I can get this. Krislyn Powell: Hehehehe. Hehehehe. Lindsey Suriani: You know, and again, it was just something I did in very small spurts as I was nursing them. But then as they got older, you know, I, I've been a runner. for probably over 15 years. But when the Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: kids came, that really went on the shelf because, you Krislyn Powell: Mm, yeah. Lindsey Suriani: know, even running, like running outside or the treadmill or whatever, you really have to give yourself like a good 30 minutes, 40, however long you want to run. And that's hard to do when your kids are really small. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: So once they got a little older, I started incorporating it back. And then even like when my daughter came I was like really training at that point, but then you know life hits you now I have three kids and that was just impossible But then also I realized like I'm not a very creative person, but I really wanted to like explore that part. So then I also became like a self-taught sewist. So I basically YouTubed everything, started making myself clothes, the kids clothes, little projects. But that was just cool because the kids also sort of like got to see me do that and get involved, like helping me pick fabrics, you know? And yeah, as they get older, you do have more time. But then they start to get in activities and now you become Uber mom, right? You're driving them every, like, it's funny, like, even in this season, yeah, Krislyn Powell: Yes, yes. The cheerleader, the coach, yeah. Lindsey Suriani: right, and you know, dinner on the go and... You know, like even the spring season, we will be at a field all seven days out of the week between our three kids. Krislyn Powell: You Lindsey Suriani: You know, so fitting these things in. So even if it was an honest conversation, like with my husband, for example, you know, I sat him down and said, you know, I really want to start training to run more. So we agreed like Sunday mornings were mine. Like I was allowed to go out, like run on the Krislyn Powell: Okay. Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: trail. I was running really long, like really long distance runs at that point. So also kind of doing that, like sort of schedule. it because otherwise like weeks would go by months and I'd be like, wow, I don't Krislyn Powell: You Lindsey Suriani: even think I like went for run. Yeah, and actually my kids now. So I found another community here within our town, like a couple of us moms run together with our kids. So and that's been Krislyn Powell: cool. Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: so much fun. And now and my boys actually run cross country in the town. So it's something that now I can share with them and it's really it's the best experience. you like having them experience, like crossing the finish line, everybody cheering for them, like they get the feeling that I have. And yeah, to share that with them is a gift. And actually, my little one, my six year old is starting track this season. So even now she's like getting into the mix, you know, and that's the other thing, like, it's important for you, but they're watching you, right? They're learning what you're doing. And the fact that I'm doing something for myself, trying to accomplish something, setting a goal, I want them to see that because I want them to have that like themselves too. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, okay. A couple things that you said really resonated and I, know, just with the way that you close that too is like, you want them to see you doing these things that you love because that encourages them to Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: want to get curious and passionate about things that they enjoy doing and to see that example and also remember like, mom was happy, like mom was alive, she was vibrant Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yep. Krislyn Powell: and she was, you know, in her community and that's just so cool. But also, I love that you talked about scheduling things because Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: I mean as much as it's like, yeah, these are fun hobbies and I like doing Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: them, you know, it's like a prayer if you get to do it, you know, once Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: in a blue moon if it's not scheduled. So I think the reality is, you know, as we become parents, that is like Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: a... It's a communication tactic with your partner of like, hey, like, like, let's not lose ourselves here. Like, let's work together. Lindsey Suriani: Right. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: Sunday mornings are mine, you know, Saturday mornings are your whatever that looks like Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: is really realistic. I think that and maybe something that people don't talk about often enough, but it's like Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: the less shiny parts of of parenthood are like the admin work, right? Like scheduling all the things, but Lindsey Suriani: Yes. Yes. Krislyn Powell: But then it makes it operationally like, you know, just like a business, easier to access those things that you love doing and more seamless Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: so that you can integrate it in your week. Yeah, so that's. Lindsey Suriani: Right, and back to that rubber band ball, it can be as small as that or as big as running a half marathon. It's really what you make it and what you have time to do. So you never want it to feel like another job. We have enough of those as a working parent. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: amen, mic drop. think we could just close that. No, just kidding. No, that's, that's like, that's Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: a great like bite-sized piece that we can take away from this conversation is like, it doesn't Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: have to be like, you know, this, this huge project or endeavor. Like you can just. Lindsey Suriani: Right. Right. Krislyn Powell: you can build a rubber band ball that like, it's something that like brings you a little bit of joy in the moment and sparks your creativity, right? Or makes Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Right. Krislyn Powell: you curious about the world around you. And I think that that like can all bring us energy and sleep deprived states or, or when we feel like, Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Krislyn Powell: okay, there's a lot going on in life and I'm just Uber mom right now. Like what is, Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Krislyn Powell: you know, what, what can I do that's fun for me? And so whether that's, you know, trying a little new recipe in the kitchen. don't have to try Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: a whole new week's worth of meals. You could try one new recipe or another friend of mine mentioned that she... carries her book with her now wherever she goes and she's like, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: know, audio books are great, but I really want to like, I want to like read a book book. And I just started Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: taking it with me and reading a few pages here and there when I had breaks instead of pulling out my phone. And she's like, I was, I was surprised at how quickly I read through the book. Like, you know, instead Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yup. Krislyn Powell: of feeling like, I have to sit down and read for 30 minutes. She's like, I just carry it around with me. And if I have a few minutes, I'll put through a few pages and yeah. So I love the. Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Krislyn Powell: rubber bandsaw example. I think Lindsey Suriani: Yes. Krislyn Powell: that's so fun. So great. I also want to talk about your career and recent shift that you've had too. So I understand that you Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: recently shifted to a new employer and we Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: talked about your previous company you were with for 14 years. So what's it like parenting out loud here and being true to yourself and just your authentic mission for supporting working parents and yeah, what's the new environment like? How has it been exciting shifting? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, I mean, it's funny because I feel like when I graduated college, the conversation about interviewing was like, if you're engaged, take your engagement ring off. You don't even want employers to think of you in that way. But Krislyn Powell: Wow. Lindsey Suriani: I'm in this, because I was at my other company for a long time, and now I'm interviewing. And I'm pretty sure I mentioned my kids right in the interview. I think even right away. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: And because it's not something, again, like I said earlier, I was never gonna put it back in the bottle. I was always gonna talk about my kids. Advocating for working parents at work is a personal mission of mine. So I was never gonna not talk about it. the question may have even been around like, tell me something professionally, you're, you know, you're really, was a good accomplishment and then something personal. And I happened to mention like something about my kids and you know the thing is it can be scary to do that because you may block yourself because you you hope the times have changed but you never know what's sitting on the other side of that table what they'll think of you like wow she's mentioning her kids like right in an interview but the thing is you know as much as you're interview you know they're interviewing me but I'm interviewing them and if me having kids or me advocating in this way is a problem then it's not the place for me because again, I'm never gonna go backwards on this. I'm always gonna fight for working parents. I'm always gonna talk about things. Something that I say a lot because I really mean it is silence is compliance. If you see something, you hear something and you say nothing, you know, really missed a chance to maybe help somebody else or help yourself or advocate for something you're passionate about. again, I mean, and this is tricky because I feel like I've been this way for so long that it's not even a thought to hide my kids or hide my struggles or not talk about it that... this is who you're getting. This is what I'll always talk about. And I need them to know that. And I think I even said, again, like you're talking about, and I said, I have three kids, they get sick, they go on, I have to be at the school sometimes. These things come up that I'm gonna need support on. I think I talked about that right in the negotiations because this was something that they needed to know. And I'll tell you what, they get the best of me when I'm working, when I'm on, they get the best of me, but my kids will always come first and they really get the best of me. So yeah, I mean, I think it can be scary, but it's also for me, it's been very freeing because it's Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: nothing, it's nothing that I feel like I have to hide or even hide that. that part of me. And, you know, I'm actually I've connected with people that I've worked with maybe, you years ago. And I do post a lot of things about being a working parent. And so many people stop me and they'll say like, you know, I love hearing about all the things going on with your kids or, you know, I just love that you really advocate for this. You I love that you talked about this. you actually, you know, you motivated me to like get back into running. Like all of these things mean a lot to me because that's why I do it. Krislyn Powell: Yeah. Lindsey Suriani: You know, like, I have these mommy mentors, I call them, right? They're moms that came before me who really didn't have many of the support that I get today. Krislyn Powell: Bye. Lindsey Suriani: You know, and I never take what I got for granted, and I'll never be quiet for the next generation because we could always do better. Krislyn Powell: Yeah, I love that. It reminds me of a few years ago, I was posting on LinkedIn more and more about just advocating for working parents, because I was like, right, the silence is compliance thing, right? I'm Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: just like, all right, I can't be silent anymore. It's just we need to talk Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: about these things. Started posting more and more about it. And then a friend of mine that I had worked with years prior, reached out about a job opportunity. And when I got, he's like, let's just, you know, I'll give you a call. Like, I just want to tell you about it. I'd love for you to, you know, come work with my team. And like immediately when we're chatting on the phone, he just, you know. leads with and the job was in sales, like I would be training sales teams and so we, yeah, it's funny because he's a very Lindsey Suriani: Right. Krislyn Powell: good salesman but immediately leads with, he's like, we're all working parents on the team, we all like work flexible hours, you get the work done, that's Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Yep. Krislyn Powell: all I care about, I don't care when you clock in and clock out, he's like, there is no clocking in clock out, you he's like, you don't have to be available 24 seven, we're really supportive on travel, Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, right. Krislyn Powell: like we let you know far in advance, all the things, I'm just. thinking in the first few minutes of the call, like, you really led with that. I'm just like, yeah. Yeah, and not only that, Lindsey Suriani: Yes, laid it out there. Yep. Krislyn Powell: but like when I... It's like I started talking more about it and so then the opportunities that started coming my way were aligned with the person that Lindsey Suriani: Right. Krislyn Powell: I was because I was honest about what it was really like living Lindsey Suriani: Mm-hmm. Krislyn Powell: the type of life that I live and so I think it's huge that you advocate for it because yeah, like we're you know when you talk about things that are hard and challenging but worthwhile like they're gonna be some people that don't align and you know don't want to hear about working parenthood or or feel like it interferes with work when that's real not the reality at all. Lindsey Suriani: Right. Krislyn Powell: And those aren't our people. Like, it's okay. Like, Lindsey Suriani: Right. Krislyn Powell: just like with anything, when you're honest about yourself, like some people aren't gonna, you know, want that type, you know? They're not gonna, they're, what is it? Like, they don't want, like, you could be the shiniest apple on the tree, they don't want that apple. Like, it's Lindsey Suriani: Yeah. Yeah. Krislyn Powell: okay. But that just means that... the more that you speak your truth, the more aligned opportunities and people are gonna come your way. And so I guess that's Lindsey Suriani: Definitely. Krislyn Powell: what I'm getting at here is I did take that job and I loved it and he was the best boss ever. Like it was just Lindsey Suriani: Yep. Krislyn Powell: a great environment. So you leading with that and interviewing with his company and being vocal in the environment that you're in, I just think it's huge. I'm grateful that you're here telling your story and expressing kind of what it's like to have kids in the competitive workplace. environment that you're in to champion having that lifestyle and to continue to integrate hobbies and and and encourage your kids to grow with you. I just think this has been really lovely having you on the show and I'd love to close with a couple things. So one is I want to know like how we can support you where we can find you. So let let us know like you know social presence like any other projects you might be working on like what what can we do to support you right now? Lindsey Suriani: Yeah, I mean, the biggest thing for me is, and I think it's obvious, never stop talking about... the working parent struggles, the working parent successes, spread the word, connect with me. I'm on LinkedIn, you know, my name, and I do have an Instagram at @sewmamalovesyou and it's really where I share about my hobbies, being a mom, running, all the funny things that we deal with being parents. And I really, I love connecting with other working parents. I love having the conversations, connecting. So yeah, please feel free to connect. I would love it. Krislyn Powell: Awesome. And then we always close, so each one of our guests has this question that's kind of like the closing question here is like, what hope do you have for future working parents?