Latest / The Salt Company Denver / Gospel Relationships | Singleness | Colin Provart & Katie Harrell

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Gospel Relationships | Singleness | Colin Provart & Katie Harrell · The Salt Company Denver

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Guys, welcome uh to Salt Company.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: This is our last week of our relationship series.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: I know that you want us to continue in the relationship series, but the application of the relationship series, aka you guys having gospel-centered relationships where guys ask girls to go on dates casually can continue throughout the rest of the semester in our lovely dating pool called the lobby.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to minister to the people here tonight.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: Uh guys, every once in a while, uh what we want to do at Salt Company is we want to break our normal rhythm.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: So uh typically what happens if you're newer to Salt Company is uh someone will get up here and kind of share a message.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: One one person up here speaking to you the whole time.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: Tonight's gonna be a little different.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm here.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Because we're here together.
0:53
SPEAKER_01: We're here together.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Uh and so what we're gonna do is Katie and I are gonna get to wrap up our relationship series and share a little bit together uh as we as we uh just explore what singleness looks like in the midst of our relationship series.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: So it'll almost be like a podcast format.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: We'll go back and forth, we'll share a little bit.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: But something that will be the same, if you're like, is this gonna be totally different from Salt Company?
1:17
SPEAKER_00: I invited my friend.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Here's what we do every week at Salt Company, even if the format changes.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: We want to open God's word and we want to share what God's word says to you and why we think it's applicable to your life, and we want to help it to be applicable to you for the sake of your flourishing and knowing Jesus more.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna do that tonight, even if the format is a little bit different.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: And so, like I just said, if you're new to Salt Company, we want to meet you, uh head out those doors.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: We got a welcome area, we got a gift for you.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: Um, and last plug, and then we'll we'll jump in.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: I've been doing college ministry for a while now.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: Uh I love doing relationship series.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: They're fun every time.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: Every time you do them, they're fun.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: But I think the series we're gonna start next week uh about gospel movement is gonna be my favorite series I've ever done in Salt Company in my entire time in college ministry.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do four weeks on how the gospel changes everything about our future and everything about our lives.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: And so I would encourage you to come back, invite people.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: Gospel movement starts next week.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: But tonight we're gonna be in 1 Corinthians 6.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: First Corinthians 6, if you have a Bible, otherwise it's gonna be on the screen.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And as you turn there, I need you to like partner up with someone around you, groups of two or three.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Uh, it doesn't have to be someone you came with.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: I want you to acknowledge the group right now.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, acknowledge who you're gonna talk to for this first activity.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to be best friends.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Meet someone new.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: All right.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: All right, here's what's gonna happen.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: Here's what's gonna happen.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna, Katie and I are gonna are gonna say words.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to, to that person that you just acknowledged, to say the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear that word.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you the word in just a second.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: We'll rapid fire them.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Don't worry.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: It'll make sense.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: First word.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: Ranch.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: All right, we're moving quickly here.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: Second word.
3:14
SPEAKER_01: Crocs.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: Shoes, that's so boring.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: All right, next word.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Gibbet.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna go to the midterms.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: All right, number four.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: Group project.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Those weren't even words.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: It's just next one.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: Pineapple.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Next word.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Words.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: Soul company.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: Next one.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: Sunday afternoon.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, hold on.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Hold on for a second.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: Anyone who said anything other than football is wrong.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: Alright, next next word.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Costco.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: Next word.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: Next word.
4:13
SPEAKER_00: Ruminate.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: I just want everyone to notice.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: I just want everyone to notice you guys were so quick with the first ones.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: When I said ruminate, and everyone's like, what do I say?
4:28
SPEAKER_01: All right.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: Last word.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: Singleness.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: Alright.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: All right, guys.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Here's why we do that.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Because I think, I think our like guttural reaction to singleness actually indicates something that we believe to be true.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: And I would guess for the vast majority of you, your guttural reaction to singleness is not how the Bible asks you to view it.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: And so we need to get an understanding of how the Bible talks about singleness in order to live flourishing lives in the kingdom of God.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: And so, really quickly, I'm just going to define singleness uh for us.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: For generally, there are nuances to this, but generally, I'm going to say singleness is anyone that is not currently married.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: And so what I'm not talking about is like, I there's going to be some things in this that are like dating does and doesn't apply, uh, or engagement does or doesn't apply.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: But I think to understand how the Bible understands singleness, you need to understand that in the first century, when he's talking about singleness, he's talking about people who are not married.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
5:48
SPEAKER_00: Great.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: 1 Corinthians 6.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: It's a chapter almost entirely devoted to singleness.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to read portions of it, and I'm going to start in verse 25.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: Here's what it says.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: Now about the virgins or the single people.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is faithful.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: Here's what Paul says you're single, stay single.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, it's not a command, but it is in the Bible.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm an apostle, which is more than you can say, so I think we should take him seriously.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: Like he said, if you're single, maybe you should stay that way.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: Why, Paul?
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Verse 32.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: I want you to be without concerns.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord, but the married man is concerned about the things of the world, how he can please his wife.
6:43
SPEAKER_00: And his interests are divided.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let me talk to the guys in the room.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: Dudes, let me minister to you.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: Women are needy.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: It's what the Bible says.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
7:00
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you guys have heard the phrase.
7:02
SPEAKER_00: You guys have heard the phrase.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: Happy wife.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: It's just way easier to cut jump right to the happy life thing.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: That's what Paul says.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you don't have to worry about keeping your wife happy, you could just jump straight to the happy life.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: That's like the common version of what 1 Corinthians 6 says.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: Okay, keep going.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: How she may please her husband.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Women.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: Men are more needy.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: And some of you.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: I know, I, guys, I know you.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: I know some of you women in the room.
7:48
SPEAKER_00: You're like, man, I just need a man to take care of me.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, you are gonna be taking care of this man.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
7:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, that is what you are signing up for.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: So then he goes on to say, I'm saying this for your own benefit.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Not to put a restraint on yourself, but to promote what is proper.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: So you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Now, I think it's easy to set to like write off this passage.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: Be like, okay, well, you know, Colin, you're not single.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: So like, why do you have anything?
8:24
SPEAKER_00: First, this is the Bible.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is the inspired word of God.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And Paul does say it's not a command, but he is like, yo, I'm an apostle, you should be.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: So this is the Bible, and we all should aim our lives at devotion to the Lord.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: And so if someone is talking about how to optimize your devotion to the Lord, we should all listen up and listen really carefully.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: And that may mean marriage someday.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: Like maybe I'll get married someday, but it does mean winning singleness today, because if we're aiming at devotion for the to the Lord, he's saying that there's something about singleness that helps you be more devoted to the Lord.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: And so we should aim at winning at our singleness today through devotion to the Lord.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: That's what it means to win singleness, is to aim our lives at devotion to God and let him take care of the rest.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: And so here's what we're gonna do tonight is we know that there are some lies that are believed about singleness.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: And so Katie and I are just gonna jump in and tell you five myths we see in singleness.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: Five myths we see in singleness.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: A lot of this content uh was gotten from a book uh called Seven Myths of Singleness from a guy named Sam Alberry.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: If you want more content, that's uh that's a resource that that I'd point you to.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: All right, we're gonna get started.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: For those of you that I have not met or who don't know my story, my name's Katie.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm on staff with Salt Company.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: Woo! And I'm particularly excited to sit up here tonight and get to talk to you about singleness because I spent a lot of my life being single.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Um I never dated anybody until I dated my now husband, and I didn't meet him until I was 30 years old.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: And um, before that, I was single.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: And so I feel like singleness is just near and dear to my heart.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: I've walked through a lot of the things that you guys have walked through, and so I'm really excited to talk to you about it tonight.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: The first myth that we're gonna discuss singleness needs to be survived.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: Now, obviously, this like gives us the vision of like survival, which if you've watched Survivor, like me and some of our friends do, it's it's tough.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: Like every day is hard, you're like in pain, you're hungry, like every day is so hard.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And so when we say singleness needs to be survived, you are taking on this mindset that I am suffering, that like this is hard, and I just have to get to the other side of it.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: It's almost like we we think singleness is like the JV version of life, and it's like once I get to marriage, then I'm playing varsity.
11:03
SPEAKER_01: And if I just do the right things and you know get my life in check and I'm prepared, as like the Christian culture says, then I will get to play varsity, right?
11:11
SPEAKER_01: And I think we kind of subconsciously take on this myth or like start believing this myth because we believe marriage is right around the corner.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, the next guy that I meet, the next gal that I meet is gonna be my wife.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: And so we we kind of have tricked ourselves into thinking, oh, it's it's only gonna be a short sprint, and I just have to suffer for a little bit, and then I'm gonna get through it, and like my life will actually start.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: And I think what happens when we do this, guys, is we miss out on what God actually has for us in the place that we are, in the relationship status that we are.
11:47
SPEAKER_01: So let me tell you what is true.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Life does not start when you get married, it doesn't drastically get better, your problems don't all go away.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: Your life is happening right now.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: Like you're living your life presently.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: God is doing something in your life, whether it's in you, uh, through you, in the people around you, and by believing that your life is just like awful, like, oh, I'm just single.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: You're actually robbing yourself of like the joy that could be experienced by participating in what God's doing in this season.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: Um by like living like year after year after year, or month after month after month, thinking like, oh, I just gotta, I just gotta get by.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: You're actually choosing to not participate in God's blessings and gifts that He has given you in the place that you are.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, this is the whole thing that Colin just mentioned with Paul is like uh singleness is a gift and it allows you to be fully devoted to the Lord.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: We have full capacity to serve the Lord, to focus on him, to focus on his kingdom.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: And guys, that is where abundant life is found.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: When we get to heaven, we're gonna stand before the Lord, and we're not gonna have our spouse next to us.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: We're literally gonna just be like focused on God.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: And that's a beautiful thing.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: That is what we are looking forward to.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think like just practically, there are some benefits that singleness affords you.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: One, you can eat whatever you want whenever you want.
13:18
SPEAKER_01: I no longer get to eat cheese and crackers or yogurt for dinner because that is not satisfactory for Sam.
13:25
SPEAKER_01: Right?
13:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you can eat in bed.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like you're sleeping in your own crumbs.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I guess.
13:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes, seriously.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: Um you can go to bed whenever you want, you can do less laundry, there's less cleaning, there's less dishes, you can hang out with your friends without having to check on the other person before you go out.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, you if you are single, you should enjoy these things while you have them, okay?
13:50
SPEAKER_01: So, how do we believe what's true in this myth?
13:52
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think it it like is a matter of adjusting your heart posture and your mindset.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: There's this balance, like you can be uh content and you can desire a relationship.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: You can do both things at the same time, and you can desire a relationship without letting it be totally consuming and like an idle in your life, and you can be content without growing apathetic or selfish in your singleness, too.
14:17
SPEAKER_01: And so I want you guys to have that mindset balancing both of those things.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's good, that's really helpful, but it doesn't, it feels like just adjust your mindset.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: How in your life, Katie, have you have you done that?
14:33
SPEAKER_00: How have you practically like put that into practice?
14:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think a lot of times disciplines or like actions can help form our heart and shape our heart.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: And so if you want to be in a relationship, you should pray that God would bring someone into your life or that he would expose you to the people in your life that like maybe he wants you to pursue a relationship with.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: You should not pray every day though, multiple times a day.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: That is like consuming, I would say.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: So to draw some lines, don't talk, don't pray about it unceasingly.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: You can pray about other things.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: Um, okay.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh be friends with people of the opposite gender and like get comfortable talking to them.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: And like beyond the question of like, hey, how's your week been?
15:12
SPEAKER_01: Or like, how's it going?
15:13
SPEAKER_01: That'll be really good for your first couple dates, too, if you can ask a lot of questions with someone of the opposite gender.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: Side tip.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, and maybe just like allow yourself to be open-minded to like who God might be putting in your life in this time.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: Um, a third one, get your algorithm off of dating, off of relationships, off of marriage, off of weddings.
15:35
SPEAKER_01: If you are not in a relationship and you're or you're just dating someone in like a fresh way, do not let your algorithm just fill your mind with thoughts of the future.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: Delete your college Pinterest or your Pinterest board if you have one for your wedding and you're not dating someone.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: Here's a funny story about that, guys.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: I just got married this year.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: Woo! And I was like, oh my gosh, I should start a Pinterest board.
15:58
SPEAKER_01: So I did.
15:59
SPEAKER_01: You know what I found when I opened up my Pinterest?
16:01
SPEAKER_01: My college Pinterest board that I started when I was in college thinking, oh my gosh, I'm gonna get married.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you.
16:08
SPEAKER_01: Preferences change, trends change.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: Thank goodness I wasn't getting married then because it was just like not that pretty.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: And my wedding now is, I think, really pretty.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, here's the most important one.
16:23
SPEAKER_02: Just wait for 10 years.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, here's maybe the most important one.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: Stay present with where your current relationships are at mentally.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: So, if you are friends with a guy or a gal and you're like, maybe I'm catching feelings.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: Do not go home and start planning your life with them, how many kids you're gonna have, where you're gonna live, what job are they gonna have, what job do you have to have?
16:47
SPEAKER_01: Do I even have to work?
16:48
SPEAKER_01: Can I just stay at home?
16:49
SPEAKER_01: Stop.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: A better use of your mental energy would be thinking of a really fun activity that you could plan and then invite people to to get to know people more.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Okay?
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
17:00
SPEAKER_01: Don't let yourself get too far ahead mentally with where your present reality is at.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: Myth number two.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: Myth number two, friendships won't actually fulfill me.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: And here's what's hard about myths.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Here's what's hard about myths is we think that uh, or myths, all of them that we're talking about, or most of them, have like a hint of truth, like a whisper of truth and the and a shout of a lie.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: And so the whisper of truth in in the first one is uh like uh maybe someday I won't be single, and so I do just need to survive it.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that that might have a whisper of truth, but it's forcing you into a bad mental state.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: So let me get into this one.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: The the whisper of truth that friendships won't actually fulfill me is the truth that you weren't actually made to be alone.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: Like the fullness of the human experience is meant to be enjoyed with intimacy with others, but we've so narrowly defined intimacy as physicality within a romantic relationship.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: And so when I say like the human experience is dependent on intimacy, like the fullness of the human experience is dependent on intimacy, what you think of, or probably the majority of you would think of, is physical intimacy with a romantic partner, and that's how I live the fullness of the human experience.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: But I don't actually think that's true.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: I think what's true is that the Bible paints a profound invitation for gospel-centered Christian friendship, and that that is the type of friendship that can actually fulfill the needs of your life and heart.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: I actually think that.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: That like friendship can be so profoundly beautiful and amazing, and like have such deep connection with other people that you can experience the fullness of what it means to be human and to not be alone simply through the mechanism of friendship.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: So let me just like rapid fire some uh verses from Proverbs at you.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: I think they're gonna be on the screen.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs 17, 17.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: A friend loves at all time and a brother is born for a difficult time.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs 18, 24.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: So I think Proverbs 18 and Proverbs 17 kind of have something to say to each other, right?
19:18
SPEAKER_00: So there's a friend who stays closer than a brother, and and one of those friends might be the person who's born for the hardest days of your life.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs 27, 6.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: What is that?
19:34
SPEAKER_00: What does that have anything to do with friendship?
19:36
SPEAKER_00: That friendship isn't simply a means of like fulfilling some selfish need of yours, but it's actually helping you become the person God wants you to be.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Friendships are gifts from God to help you live a life of flourishing.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: And so there's like this deep invitation into friendship.
19:52
SPEAKER_00: And so, Katie, have do you feel like you have an experience in like in your seasons of singleness of friendships like this?
19:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, the first one that comes to mind is my best friend Abby.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: She's like been my longest friend.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, there were stretches that were just so hard in singleness, a ton of loneliness.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: And I was working at CCU at the time, they lived like two minutes away, and I feel like multiple times a week, she was just like, What are you doing?
20:15
SPEAKER_01: You got a break in your day?
20:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, come over.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: We're working from home, just like work with us.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: Or you had a really long day, like, come over, we'll make you dinner.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: And I just got to jump into life with them and their baby, and it was like the sweetest thing to just like not feel alone, to feel like I was part of a family.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so just to clarify, I don't think that the Bible exclusively paints a picture of deep relationship only found in marriage, but rightly pursued Christian friendship produces deep joy, unity, sacrifice, and trust.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: And we see examples of this in the Bible.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: One in particular is a friendship between uh two guys, Jonathan and David.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: You can find this friendship in the book of 1 Samuel.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: And so, a little context really quickly, because it's make it's what makes the friendship so crazy.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Saul, the king of Israel.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: Saul has a son named Jonathan.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: So Jonathan is the heir to the throne.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, he's the prince, he's the one who's gonna become king, but God interrupts this story and anoints a man named David to be the next king, right?
21:20
SPEAKER_00: Like this spiritual thing happens where God anoints David, but he's not king yet.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: Saul's king, and Saul's son, Jonathan, like everyone sees as the one who has the rightful heir to the throne, and Jonathan becomes friends with David.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: So let me read to you what 1 Samuel 18 says.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: When David had finished speaking with Saul, that's the current king, David, the anointed king, uh, had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship and loved him as much as he loved himself.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father's house, right?
21:56
SPEAKER_00: Because Saul didn't particularly care for David.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: Then Jonathan made A covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his uh military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Everything I have, including the throne of Israel, I'm now giving and laying at your feet because we are bound in friendship.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Like you think this is a picture of marriage and it's a picture of Christian friendship.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Can I can I ask a question?
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Can you like speak to the people in this room that are like, okay, I I want a Jonathan in my life?
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, I just don't feel like I have one.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, what do I do?
22:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, we all want a Jonathan, and I think the only way you're gonna find a Jonathan in your life is you if you if you become a Jonathan to someone else.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Like everyone's like, man, I want someone who's gonna lay down everything for me.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, are you laying down everything for someone else?
23:00
SPEAKER_00: The way you become, you get Jonathans in your life is when you start becoming a Jonathan.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: And so I do feel like I need to say this.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: I feel like we've really been dogging on DA if you've come the last couple weeks.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: Like David got made fun of two weeks in a row very publicly.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: David is an amazing friend, and David is particularly an amazing friend to Jonathan, which is just kind of cute, you know?
23:22
SPEAKER_00: Like, come on.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: David is a Jonathan to Jonathan.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: It's just kind of awesome.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I need to honor him.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: So if you're looking for a if you're looking for a great friend, go to Citigroup.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: Citigroup's an amazing place to meet a Jonathan in your life.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh, last thing I'll say, I think this is super helpful.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: Someone said this to me, and it's been really helpful for me.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: As you think about friendships in your life, there are four kinds of friends everyone should have in order to flourish.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: Everyone needs a Samuel.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: This is like a David thing.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: Okay, if you look at the life of David, David has a Samuel, someone who raises him up.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: David has a Nathan, someone who calls him out.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: David has a Joab, someone who takes the hill with him, and David has a Jonathan, someone who loves him no matter what.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: And so I think as you think through friendships, trying to find a Samuel, a Nathan, a Joab, and a Jonathan.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: It's good.
24:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh, next myth Prince Charming is waiting for me.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: So this this myth, this lie, gets at the idea that your 100% perfect, significant other is out there, and all you have to do is wait for them to find you, or you really shouldn't pursue anyone else because like they might be out there someday.
24:27
SPEAKER_01: Um, and Colin, I love what you said about like the whispers of truth in there.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: Here's the whisper in this one.
24:33
SPEAKER_01: If it is God's will for you to be married to someone, there is someone out there that he has ordained for you to be married to.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: And in his timing, he is gonna make that abundantly clear to both of you.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I do think this idea of Prince Charming, this idea of a hundred percent perfect person being out there, is just it's a myth, and we've gotta stop believing it.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: Ladies, can I just level with you for a second?
24:59
SPEAKER_01: How many of you guys have written off a guy because you find out one thing about him that is less than ideal?
25:06
SPEAKER_01: They have a weird laugh, or they bite their fingernails.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: That was me in college.
25:11
SPEAKER_01: I hated people that bite their fingernails.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: My husband bites his fingernails, they play video games, or maybe they're like a little nervous or awkward when they first talk to you.
25:20
SPEAKER_01: And you just totally write that person off because of like one thing that like doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: Come on, what what was your thing?
25:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like blondes.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: When I met Rachel, when I met Rachel, she was blonde.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm kidding.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: It's when girls say tiki unironically, or when they carry, or when they carry a massive purse but never can find anything.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so we all have this, we all have this, I don't know, judgment in us, but I think it's fueled by this myth that, like, oh, there's a perfect person out there that's gonna totally fulfill all my needs.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: And it it's just not true.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: And we cannot continue to pick people apart uh because we believe this.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: What is true?
26:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay, as cringy as this phrase I'm about to say is, it's true.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: The Prince Charming you're searching for is Jesus.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that is the reality, guys.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: He is the only one who will satisfy you completely, who will fulfill all your needs, who will never let you down.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: Like, no human can do for you what God has already accomplished for you in Jesus.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: Psalm 107, he satisfies the longing soul and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: Matthew 5, 6, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: Those are promises in the word of God, okay?
26:45
SPEAKER_01: There's just, you need to know there's no 100% perfect person out there for you.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
26:51
SPEAKER_01: Everyone has something that'll eventually annoy you, something that you're not gonna love.
26:54
SPEAKER_01: Um, welcome to being married and being a picture of the gospel for the rest of the world.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: You you like love people in their best and worst things.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: Has anybody ever played the game perfect in every way, but?
27:05
SPEAKER_01: Do you guys know that game?
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay, somebody.
27:08
SPEAKER_01: You just got aged.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I did.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, it's this really fun game that you kind of go in a circle and you're like, he's perfect in every way, but, and you like announce one thing and you ask somebody if they're in or out.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh, she's a 10, sure.
27:20
SPEAKER_01: Gosh, I should have I should have consulted our staff.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, a really funny one that I seem to always come back to when I was as I was trying to think of an example.
27:29
SPEAKER_01: He's perfect in every way, but every time he sees a squirrel, he has to run and chase it.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: Are you in or out?
27:37
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, okay, okay, okay.
27:40
unknown: I don't know where you're going.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing, guys.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: I hate that game and I hate playing it.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: I usually am just like, I don't want to answer this because there's no there's no person that's gonna be a hundred percent perfect, and there's gonna be multiple things that you're probably gonna have to put up with.
27:59
SPEAKER_01: And that is just demystifying relationships and human beings for you.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: When we look at Ephesians 5 specifically, and like the biblical view of marriage, it it is not a picture where all your dreams come true and they just do everything you want, whenever you want.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: The picture is actually dying to self and becoming one with another person, where you're like daily sacrificing and daily choosing to love them, choosing to put them above yourself.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: And so, how do we how do we believe this?
28:29
SPEAKER_01: What the Bible says versus uh the myth that Prince Charming is actually out there?
28:34
SPEAKER_01: I think we just start to appreciate people for how God has made them and like genuinely get to know people without an agenda.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: Like, say yes to more dates, ask more girls out on dates, be open-minded.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: Ben Hess, sitting in the back here, set Sam and I up a year before we even got married.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: And both of us, we played pickleball and we were like, eh, no, not interested.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't until I was in a different context and I got to know Sam in a different way that I was like, huh, there's like more to you.
29:07
SPEAKER_01: And like, sorry.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: I didn't just for the record though, Sam is like amazing at pickleball.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: He is.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: That was impressive, I will, I'll say.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, she's like, I think you would be surprised.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: I think you'd be surprised what you can be attracted to in somebody else when you like genuinely get to know them and like try to see how the Lord has made them and like appreciate that about them.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's good.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh myth myth number four.
29:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm single.
29:38
SPEAKER_00: Holiness isn't that important.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: Here's the whisper.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: There is no whisper of truth.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: Here's why you believe it.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: I say this soberly.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: I say this soberly.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: Here's why some of you are like, I'll take following Jesus seriously if that girl would want me to take following Jesus seriously.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: Because you take this your a cute guy or a cute girl at their word quicker than you take God at his.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: I think that should sober us.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you're like, I'd read my Bible every day if that girl wanted me to read that but my Bible every day, God wants you to read your Bible every day.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: Here's what 1 Peter 1 says.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, with your minds ready for action, be sober-minded and set your hope completely on grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: As obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires of your former ignorance.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: If you used to think that way, don't think that way anymore.
30:42
SPEAKER_00: But as the one who called you is holy, you are to be holy in all your conduct.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: And he quotes uh a passage from Exodus, for it is written, be holy, because I am holy.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so practically, I'm just gonna jump right in practically.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: First, fight your sexual sin.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, rid your life of sexual sin.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: And I think there are some of you that maybe just need to hear, like, get rid of it and stop messing around with it.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: I think others of you feel like I've been fighting this forever, and I feel enslaved to it, I feel chained to it, and I don't know if there's hope on the other side.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: And if that's you, I just want to say I'm sorry.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: I like have been in that place before, and it's a horrible place.
31:32
SPEAKER_00: And all the confidence you need to know if you can find victory over your sin is found in an empty grave in Jerusalem.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Jesus defeated the grave, so he now, by his spirit in you, can defeat your sin.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to give you some hope.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, this doesn't need to be the end of your story when it comes to fighting your sexual sin, but you can see victory.
31:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think it's it's not just for the guys in the room.
32:01
SPEAKER_01: Like gals, it is just as much a struggle.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: And so find find friends to help you fight it.
32:09
SPEAKER_01: Like, there are resources available.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: Set up boundaries on on an app, communicate with people in your city group.
32:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, you're not alone in this.
32:18
SPEAKER_01: And so I don't want you to try to fight it by yourself.
32:21
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
32:22
SPEAKER_01: Um, come talk to somebody.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's good.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: There are resources to help you.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Uh, another sin is just like general apathy.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: I kind of talked about this one, like following Jesus isn't that important.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's fine.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: At some point, I'll take it seriously.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I get into a relationship, I'll take it seriously.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: Um, or another way to frame that is I'll compromise my standards for a significant other in order to get a significant other because holiness isn't that important.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: And can I just say, I feel like this is more common with gals.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: You're just like, oh, he's so cute.
32:52
SPEAKER_01: It's fine.
32:53
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't want to go to church with me all the time.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: It's fine.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: No.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: Can I just like plead with you?
33:00
SPEAKER_01: It is not worth it.
33:02
SPEAKER_01: You should not date or marry someone who is not pursuing the Lord, who does not want to live a life surrendered to God's will for them.
33:09
SPEAKER_01: Like, it is just not worth it.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: Marriage gets complicated enough when you start having kids, all of that.
33:16
SPEAKER_01: It's way too complicated to not be on the same page as someone about the most important and fundamental thing about you.
33:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay, it's just not worth it.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: So can I sorry, I wasn't planning on saying this, but I feel like I need- I was thinking of my daughter.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: I've had a I have a daughter now.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: It wrecks you.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh, if I could convince my daughter uh of three things, don't quote me on this, but I think it would be these three that God loves her, that I love her, and that she's beautiful.
33:39
SPEAKER_00: And so I just think there are some women that need to hear you're beautiful, and you don't need to settle for a guy who thinks you're hot, but isn't willing to come and like take following Jesus really, really seriously.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: Like you just don't need to settle for that.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: Because you're beautiful, you're you're made in God's image, and like God has someone for you, maybe or maybe not, but it's not worth compromising your standards to find a guy.
34:01
SPEAKER_00: Anyway, uh, last one, this one's kind of hard.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: But another way you might need to fight for holiness is like through entitlement.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: You like, man, I'm living a godly life, I'm like pursuing holiness, and all my friends who aren't pursuing holiness have happier or more satisfying romantic relationships than I do, and that feels unfair.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: I just want you to know that's hard.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, the psalms are gonna be really encouraging to you.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: I'd encourage you to read your psalms, but friends, just a reminder: God doesn't owe you anything.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: Like God doesn't owe you anything.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: And so fight for holiness because God values your holiness, and it's a reminder that God's working in the midst of your singleness and not necessarily to prepare you for marriage, maybe to prepare you for marriage, but not necessarily.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: But he is working to conform you into the image of his son.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: So let me let me get this all the way on the ground for you.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: Is anyone here excited for heaven?
34:59
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: In heaven, you will be not married and holy.
35:05
SPEAKER_00: But I think a lot of you would rather be unholy and married.
35:09
SPEAKER_00: And yet everyone in the room wants heaven.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: So if you want heaven, you should pursue holiness, even if it means being unmarried, because in heaven you will not be married, but you will be holy.
35:25
SPEAKER_01: Last uh myth singleness is easy.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: So I know earlier I said it affords you a lot of freedoms where you can do what you want, but the reality is while singleness has a lot of fun, joyful moments, it's not always easy.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: Um, I know from my own experience, there's just a multitude of lies that the enemy has used against me that just keep me from flourishing.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: So some of these lies kind of under this myth.
35:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, God doesn't care about my desires.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: God doesn't uh hear my prayers or answer my prayers, God is withholding good from me.
36:01
SPEAKER_01: I have to change or be better before I can have a relationship, like I have to look or act differently.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: God is punishing me for something that I did in the past.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: These are all real lies that I heard and believed while I was single.
36:17
SPEAKER_01: And it it yeah, if you if you are in that place where you're resonating with any of these, I get it.
36:24
SPEAKER_01: But the reality is they they are lies, and I think they're so powerful specifically in like emotional moments, and so I want to talk about that really briefly.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: Like, you just found out that a guy you were interested in asked a different girl out, or you really like someone, you went out on a date, and then you got friend zoned.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: Or you watched a friend get asked out for like the fourth or fifth time, and you haven't been on a date in three years.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: Like these are situations that provoke an emotion that's just strong, and that's when the enemy is like, oh, they're vulnerable, let's go after them.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: And and here's the thing, guys, we cannot let strong emotions or feelings be our ultimate truth.
37:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, we have to learn to be people who aren't led by our feelings and emotions.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: We need to take them captive, make them obedient to Christ.
37:17
SPEAKER_01: I think God gave us emotions for a reason, and like sometimes can lead to good things like showing us our passions or our callings, but in other situations, it can reveal idols or or things that uh yeah, are just like ungodly in us that we like so desperately need.
37:34
SPEAKER_01: So we're not gonna let our emotions lead us, and we want to be rooted in truth.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: So something I did when I was single, as I'm like encountering these lies, was like, okay, I need to have scripture that is true, that will combat these lies.
37:48
SPEAKER_01: So if you have experienced any of these lies, God doesn't care about my desires.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: Matthew 7, 9 through 11.
37:54
SPEAKER_01: Who among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake.
38:00
SPEAKER_01: If you then who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him?
38:09
SPEAKER_01: The God that I serve is not going to give me a stone if I ask him for bread.
38:14
SPEAKER_01: Psalm 145, 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
38:19
SPEAKER_01: That's the heart of God.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: God doesn't hear my prayers, he doesn't answer our prayers.
38:23
SPEAKER_01: Psalm 34, 17, the righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and he rescues them from all their troubles.
38:29
SPEAKER_01: He hears.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: It says it.
38:31
SPEAKER_01: God is withholding good from me.
38:33
SPEAKER_01: Romans 8.32.
38:34
SPEAKER_01: He did not even spare his own son, but gave him up for us.
38:39
SPEAKER_01: How will he not also with him grant us everything?
38:43
SPEAKER_01: Guys, the proof of God's love for you, the proof of his care for you is in Christ.
38:48
SPEAKER_01: Um, another one there, James 1.17.
38:51
SPEAKER_01: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.
38:54
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't change like shifting shadows, like my emotions change.
38:57
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't.
38:58
SPEAKER_01: Um, I have to change to be better before I can have a relationship.
39:02
SPEAKER_01: Um Romans 8 28, we know that God is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.
39:10
SPEAKER_01: Like God has called me specifically, as I am, the way I have been created for his purposes.
39:16
SPEAKER_01: I can rest in that.
39:17
SPEAKER_01: Then the last one, God's punishing me for something I did in the past.
39:19
SPEAKER_01: Romans 8.1.
39:20
SPEAKER_01: There's therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
39:24
SPEAKER_01: Someone needs to say amen.
39:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you.
39:28
SPEAKER_01: That is amazing.
39:30
SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing: you need to store these things in your heart.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: Because you're gonna encounter lies.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: And the question is, are you gonna believe those lies and dwell on those lies, or are you gonna have scripture there to remind you of what's actually true when your feelings are spiraling?
39:53
SPEAKER_01: Can I just like share a little bit about my story?
39:55
SPEAKER_01: Would that be okay for a little bit?
39:57
SPEAKER_01: I I know I shared a little bit at the beginning, but singleness was like the hardest thing that I walked through.
40:06
SPEAKER_01: I like I didn't get asked to dances, I didn't really go on dates until college, all of that was really short-lived.
40:14
SPEAKER_01: I'd never kissed anybody, like there were numerous things that felt embarrassing and shameful about my life because I was single.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: And no matter how much I knew I should be content or I should, you know, trust God and His plan that singleness was a gift, I still like in its darkest moments felt super insecure and was filled with jealousy and envy and and shame and fear of being known.
40:41
SPEAKER_01: And it was like really hard.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: And yet I can look at that season, guys, and I can just like have gratitude in my heart because God cemented something in me that I just like am I so thankful for.
41:01
SPEAKER_01: He taught me that like a life lived in full surrender, like fully dependent on the Lord, is like actually where abundant life is found.
41:12
SPEAKER_01: That there's no relationship, there's no circumstance that like can ultimately fulfill what I'm actually looking for.
41:19
SPEAKER_01: And like that is in my bones now.
41:22
SPEAKER_01: And like he provided for me in a lot of ways.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: And so if you are in singleness right now and you're just like discouraged, and you don't want to talk to God because you just feel like he doesn't care about you, he does, he sees it, he's with you, he feels the pain you feel, and yet he's doing something that I can't like fully put my finger on what exactly is gonna come to, but I know it's gonna be amazing.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for sharing your story.
42:06
SPEAKER_00: Uh this is gonna be weird, so can you let me do something weird for a second?
42:12
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
42:12
SPEAKER_01: What is it?
42:13
SPEAKER_00: Uh I wanna I wanna share Katie's story from a different perspective.
42:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's true.
42:22
SPEAKER_00: I was standing in the back uh next to Katie, just getting ready to come up here.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: And I leaned over to her and I said, you know that this might be the greatest gospel movement out of collegiate students that the Denver Metro has ever seen?
42:38
SPEAKER_00: And you know who's a part of that story?
42:41
SPEAKER_00: Katie Thornton.
42:44
SPEAKER_00: You know who's like a cornerstone of that story?
42:47
SPEAKER_00: My friend Katie.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: And I intentionally used her maiden name, not her new last name, because God wrote a story in her life and used her singleness for your sake.
43:04
SPEAKER_00: Salt Company doesn't exist without Katie.
43:08
SPEAKER_00: Salt Company isn't what it is without Katie.
43:11
SPEAKER_00: If you love your student leader, your student leader isn't who they are without Katie.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: If you've been overseas, you don't go overseas without Katie.
43:19
SPEAKER_00: If you love the midweek gathering, like if you love what we do here on Tuesday nights, we don't get this done without Katie.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: So every once in a while you just need to like stop and change the perspective of a story a little bit.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: Because in the midst of the pain and the tears and the getting on her knees to beg and cry out to God, she was devoted to him and loved him and was faithful to him.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: And you're a result of Katie saying, I'm gonna like I'm gonna use my pain and not let it point me anywhere else other than the foot of the cross, and I'm gonna do the next right thing, and I'm gonna leverage everything my singleness of.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Affords me to share the gospel with the next person.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: God uses pain to write beautiful stories of redemption.
44:12
SPEAKER_00: So if you're wondering what we're about here at Salt Company, like Katie and I would give up whatever we need to for you to know that Jesus Christ loves you, that he's come to save sinners like you and like me, that he's come to rewrite stories of pain and make them stories of beauty.
44:36
SPEAKER_00: That he's come with with a message of redemption.
44:39
SPEAKER_00: Not that you'll be married, not that your life will look exactly like the way you thought it would or the way you hoped it would be.
44:46
SPEAKER_00: But with a message that you can be a part of God's family.
44:49
SPEAKER_00: And even on the hardest days of life, that's the best place to be.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to say, like, sister, I love you.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: I'm so thankful for you.
44:59
SPEAKER_00: This room is like evidence of your faithfulness, your devotion, your character, your love, your like willingness to sacrifice for the sake of other people.
45:09
SPEAKER_00: And so I know it was hard, but I just want to say it was worth it, and God used it in a really profound way.
45:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we love you, sister.
45:20
SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Paul.
45:22
SPEAKER_01: Appreciate it.
45:23
SPEAKER_01: I think to close, just like a couple of hard fast things.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: Build great friendships.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: Ones that push you towards holiness, ones that remind you of truth when you believe lies, ones that pray for you when you don't have the faith to pray for yourself.
45:40
SPEAKER_01: Build great friendships.
45:43
SPEAKER_01: Two, pursue holiness today.
45:45
SPEAKER_01: Any step that you take towards holiness today is a step towards God's will for your life.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't return void.
45:56
SPEAKER_01: Three, lean in to what God's doing in your life right now, today.
46:01
SPEAKER_01: Look around you.
46:02
SPEAKER_01: Ask Him to show it to you.
46:04
SPEAKER_01: There is an invitation in front of you to participate in the kingdom of God right where you're at.
46:10
SPEAKER_01: And guys, it is fun.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: It is the coolest, best part of our lives to be in alignment and walking in obedience with what God's doing.
46:19
SPEAKER_01: It's the best part of this life.
46:21
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to just pray for us.
46:25
SPEAKER_01: God, thanks for this time.
46:27
SPEAKER_01: Thanks that you're a God who sees us and who knows us and who has written beautiful stories for us.
46:37
SPEAKER_01: Thanks that you have given us your word that's full of truth, that you've given us friends and relationships that can stir us towards holiness, that can uh encourage us when we're discouraged, that can pray for us.
46:57
SPEAKER_01: God, for for these students in this room who are um all in different places, honestly, with singleness.
47:06
SPEAKER_01: God, would you align our hearts and our minds with your word and with what scripture says about singleness?
47:14
SPEAKER_01: And would you show us the ways that we're not living in accordance with your word?
47:19
SPEAKER_01: And would you help us by your spirit to walk in greater obedience, greater trust, and greater worship?
47:28
SPEAKER_01: God, we trust you and we thank you in Jesus' name.
47:33
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
47:35
SPEAKER_02: You can stand as we respond by worshiping in song.