Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #148: The Self Comparison Trap

Transcript

Happy Hour #148: The Self Comparison Trap · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I never told you a production of iHeartRadio. And welcome
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to another Happy Hour, if I am not mistaken the
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: last Happy Hour of twenty twenty three. As always with these,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: if we discuss any products specifically, unless we say it specifically,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: it is not a sponsor. They could be a sponsor later,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: but they are not currently now. Also, drink responsibly if
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: you choose to do so. Take care of yourself, Samantha.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: We did discuss this because we're doing a big recording
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: session and so perhaps we're drinking the same thing we
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: were in the last Happy Hour, but uh, what are
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you sitping on?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: So we've had a few episodes since we started with
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: the drink and now I'm out of that drunk so
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I'm sticking with water. Oh nice, Yeah, so I have
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: switched over.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, cool, Well I haven't. I'm still drinking the sack
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: that is snow themed. It is one of my favorites
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: because it is very cold today where we are in Atlanta,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: and so I guess I'm a masochist and I was like,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: I'll drink cold sack that is based on snow. But
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: it is delicious. Uh So for this episode, I don't
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: think it's an unhappy hour. I'm trying to think about.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: How I'm trying to convince yourself.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to convince myself. I guess it would depend
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: on the person, but I guess before we get into it. Samantha,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: you are someone I associate a lot with New Year's now,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: even though we don't necessarily hang out on New Year's
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like you were the precursor to my new
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: New Year's thing, which is leave me alone.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: It's true because we uh started talking about what we
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: were doing for New Years with the Roaring twenties, which
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: took me forever to figure out why it was.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Called that, and I was like, oh, okay, I get it.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: And that was the year that I believe I had
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: stayed at home by myself.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I think that was the first.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I think I'd done that before, but like that was
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: the first, Like, no, I'm definitely not going anywhere. You
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: have fun, and you're debating about going or not, And
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: you went to Athens.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Right, I went to Athens, Yes, I did.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: And then from then on we were in a pandemic level.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: So either we were together or we facetimed each other, right, yeah,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: or we.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Would send each other like pictures or videos.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Or because I can't remember when the Spider Man slash
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: my onesie yes was yeah, which we had, which was
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: the delight. But then yeah, then the pandemic and then
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: like we were kind of garantineing with each other, so
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: we're like, yeah, let's let's do Sunday Sunday Sunday with
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: or whatever else with hanging out, right yeah.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So essentially, I believe the year before the pandemic,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: you and I were hanging out at a local restaurant
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: and that was when I got my taste for macaroni
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: and cheese on riers, which is now a tradition, and
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: you and I were I was saying, like I always
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I don't really have a good time going out on
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: New Years, Like it starts out really fun and then
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: it ends terribly and it's sort of a unfortunate thing.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: That's a tradition for me. And you were very like,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: why don't you just stay in and we'll get in
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: these onesies and we'll like celebrate it from afar. Yes,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: and we sense it's still on my Instagram? Should I
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: delete it? Probably yours isn't that bad? Mine is kind
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: of like an out an hour a minute of me
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: as Spider Man with the Sparkler and it. It was nice.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: It was really nice. It was like we were kind
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: of celebrating for a moment. I got my mac and cheese.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: Yep, you guys like several helpings.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I got cheese, several helpings of mac and cheese.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I've also when you gave me the practical joke gift
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: because you and you thought you were so funny.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: I was so confused.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I was hilarious. I was laughing my and Samantha was like,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: what is this?
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I had to ask, so, what is this?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Soa since starting on a podcast, had desperately wanted a
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: mattress from a company because that is a big troupe.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Yees when I started.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: By the time I came on, you and Caroline and
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Kristen all got like sixteen different mattresses from different companies.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, I need a new mattress. Where my mattress?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: And every time we would get an offer, it would
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: fall through. I did finally get a mattress and it
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: was way heavier than I expected.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: But yeah, so I was really really.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Adamant That's what I wanted because I did ask us,
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: what would you be willing to do? What sponsorships are
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: you looking for? But then I was like, oh, this
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: is funny because I'm just going to get onto. At
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: that time, it was Ben and Lyle who are our
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: ads people? And I was like, where's my mattress?
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: Where is it? Give me my mattress?
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: And poor Ben, poor Ben, I gave him hell so
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: this entire time. Annie also like she was just so perfect,
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: like I will be like obsessive with something and I'm like,
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I want this, and when it comes to our sponsorship
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: or something with our show, and then Annie's like, I
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: got I got it as a Christmas gift, but I
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: got the joke version because I also have a three
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: D printed gravestone.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah I do. I gave that to you, yep.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: As a Christmas present as a reminder that.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Was basically making fun of an AD deal that went
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: wrong but it.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: Got it together.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: But yeah, no, like that was and because I wasn't
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: like you had so many gifts for me at this
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: point like you as we do.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: But then I was pulling it out.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I was like, what is this? Is this from my dog?
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: And does it look like a comforter for a doll. Yeah,
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: but I was like, what is what's happening?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: It was a doll mattress.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: It was a doll mattress. Which way is it now?
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Because it also came with pillows?
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: It did, and I thought I was the funniest person.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: She still loves today.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: That was a good one.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: So that was the beginning of our holiday traditions, yes,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: which it really took hold.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Like after that, I started to be like, you know what,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily like this New Year's thing. I did
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: go to the twenty twenty Roaring New Year's thing that
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: was right before the pandemic. Right when I see those pictures,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, oh, you didn't know what was coming,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: had so many hopes you thought the new I mean
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I still think about that episode we did about our
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: hopes for the New Year in twenty Oh my gosh.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: But ever since then, I've become very I stay in
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: on New Year's That doesn't mean I won't hang out
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: with people, but like the day of I'm like, leave
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: my bee. And in fact, I told a friend who
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: asked to hang out that day, I was like, no,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: this is mine. I protect it. Now I have my
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: macar and rony and cheese, and I have my soups
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: that I make the next day, and it's great. I
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: was thinking about this because you have had a very
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: stressful year. I think a lot of people have, and
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's on the tail of several stressful years.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: And I have a lot of things that I've put
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: off and I want to fix them. I want to
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: finally deal with them, and they're like, you know, around
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: my apartment or like I have to go through stuff
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: and clean stuff and fix stuff. But it's sort of
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: stressing me out because the new year does feel very
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: like there's a lot of pressure to it of well,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: it's time now you need to do all the stuff
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: that you've put off. So I have that hanging over me.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: But then I've been thinking about I know I've mentioned
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: this before, but there was a woman that I met
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: when I did because you didn't go, Samantha, but the
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: we hike to heal thing, and she was just talking
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: about what she was going through and what she was
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: dealing with, and I'll never forget she said, I'm trying
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: to learn how to stop comparing myself to my younger self.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: And I feel like I'm really struggling with that right
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: now too, because and we've been talking about this in
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: recent episodes, but I just I have this this frame,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: this digital frame that I love, and it'll have pictures
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: of younger me on it, and I'm like, why can't
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: you do what she used to do? Or why aren't
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: you like she used to be? And I just get
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: really in my head about it. It's a really negative space,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: and so I'm trying hard in this new year to
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: let that go or at least like not make it
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: into such a She was so much better because in
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: some ways she wasn't like I don't know, it's just
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you've experienced the Samantha, but I
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I guess I'm I see her, and I I'm jealous
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: of her in a lot of ways, and it's a
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: strange thing to be jealous of, but I also recognize
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: that I have improved in a lot of ways compared
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: to what she was.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Right, No, yeah, I absolutely.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I think when you told me the topic of this conversation,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, because for the first
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: time in my life, I truly feel my age. And
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I say that in that my face is changing. My
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: body has completely changed in so many ways. It's not
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: just stuff that happened in the pandemic. It's literally like, Okay,
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: it's getting harder to do these things. It hurts when
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: I do this. There are feelings of this that it's
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: just really difficult. Like I am, you know, a big
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: proponent in doing what makes you happy. Just don't you know,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: be toxic and or unhealthy about it. But like there
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: are things like we've talked about filling images and trying
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: to think of things that you want to do, and
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: like I'm actually buying products which I.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Know are absurd.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I should not be spending money on products because my
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: skin feels drier, and as a person of color, I've
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: never really had dry skin, to the point that I
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: was so oily that I was desperate to fix the
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: oiliness and being mad at essentially, which now though like
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: the shiny is in. But like things like that, because
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: my skin has changed so much, the grays that's coming
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: in my hair, the amount of hair that I've lost
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: because I'm aging, like all of those things, Like my
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: hands look different, just my style is changing, and I'm
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: starting to feel like, oh maybe I really do look
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: my age and starting to compare myself to when I
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: was younger. The pictures that I see that, I'm like,
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: oh my god, I did not look like that anymore.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: I feel like kind of how you this sounds right?
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: How you remember your parents in the prime and thinking
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: that was old?
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: And then but then that like, as my parents have
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: gotten older, I'm my good friend of mine Anna sister
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: to Kristen who uh she you know she's she and
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I died the and wine together. That's the beginning of
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: our stuff. We were talking about watching our parents becoming
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: grandmotherly or grandfatherly legitimately instead of just being the grandmother grandfather,
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: but seeing them at the age where you're scared that
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: they're going to fall, you're starting to try to plan
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: for emergencies for them, like stuff like that. That that
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: just shocks you. But when you think about your parents,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: you kind of go back to what you remember growing
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: up and realizing I am that.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I am at that stage. It really has shot to me.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: It is shocking me constantly where I see reflections of myself,
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: which as a person with low self esteem in general,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: with like a self esteem issue, never loved what I've seen,
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: but to be shocked the fact, the fact that I
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: have truly aged. I was totally telling you as my
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: spot smile lines are happening as I feel like my
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: chin and like all these things are getting puffier. The
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: fact that we're on video doing our job on a
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: weekly basis twice a week, three times a week. Whoever
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: knows how long I've procrastinated and we have to be
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: back on type of schedule. But like looking at myself
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: and starting to do all the little regiments like uh, y'all,
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I'm making faces at myself because I don't want to
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: have the deep lines. And you know, you read in
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: or you saw on TikTok. If you do these things,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: it will help you smooth about the lines or you know,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: like fix your chinen muscles or whatever whatnot. But I'm
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: doing that, realizing I look ridiculous after the fact, but
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: because that's all I can see, that's what I'm doing.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Like having that shock of seeing myself this age, It
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: is surprising, and I hate that feeling. I hate that
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: because we tout very much having confidence in yourself, aging, gracefully,
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: doing whatever you want to make yourself happy and not putting,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: not being miserable about it, but.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: It's so hard.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: It's so hard, and then having these pictures and seeing
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: like seeing back then the things that I hated then
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: wishing I could have now.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, and I hate it, but I feel
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: like a lot of people do think it right. You
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: should have appreciated it back right, and you did it right.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: I will say that the one thing that I do
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: I am happy about is being more confidence in being me,
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: like not feeling like I had to be completely fake,
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: not having to go out just because being very frank.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: About like, yeah I'm not coming like.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Like I wish I would had that
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: attitude during that time because that part I'm down with.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: The physical changes are difficult, yeah.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's frustrating because I feel like a lot
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: of the stuff I was doing when I was younger
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: was unhealthy and I wish and by that I mean
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I was just like exercising too much and eating too little.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: But I wish that the drive I had then I
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: still have now, but now I'm so tired. And the
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: pandemic happened and I was like, but it all made
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: me think about why I was doing that in the
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: first place. And then what do I really value? And
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: then I know we've talked about this, but you do.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, as you get told her, you change, Like
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I don't have that energy anymore. I don't whatever that
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: was that was amazing, but it's gone.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: Again.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Like when I was talking to you about the dragon
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: con and doing all the outings, I was like, oh, yeah,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I probably would have liked that about ten years ago,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: but now I'm like, nah, I'm done, y'all.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: That sounds awful.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: You gotta have fun, yeah, And I think that you know,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: that can feel strange because especially for someone like me
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: who's like I love these things so much, it'll never change, never,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: but you do, you do. And I think that it's
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: not healthy to look back at your younger self and think,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: oh god, like very negatively about who you are now.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I think that it's natural that you change. And you know,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: also I don't do what I did at that point,
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: so it's sort of like a well what did you expect?
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: That's the thing.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: It's like, yes, that's true, but sometimes just it just
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: is like I said, with my face and hair, Yeah,
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: sure I could die and do all the things that
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: all the things, but like I mean, losing my hair.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: It just is.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm not saying it's bad as in, like you know,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: some other people who've gone through some things in the
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: stress and all of that, but it's noticeable.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: It is noticeable.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: How then, my hair has gotten since when I was
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: even four years ago, it was so thick and like
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: everybody commented about how thick it was and having a
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: hard time growing it.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Even it just happens.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: And as much as I wish we it an age
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: like that, you know, at the same time, I again
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: like this may and I hope it's not coming off
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: as able as with these concerns. But just like most people,
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: most people in the disabled community will tell you being
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: able bodied, that's temporary. And whether it's because you're aging
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: or because of other things, it just it just happens.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: And yeah, I'll catch my knee every now and then
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: going out for me just standing up and I'm like,
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: oh my god, what just happened. Everything pops, Everything pops
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: if I've been in a position too long. So as
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: soon as I get up from this desk, everything's gonna pop.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: And I'm gonna be a little concerned about everything popping,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: you know, like it is, and like I know many
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: people my age that are dealing with arthritis already, and
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: whether that's because it's genetic, uh they were predisposed to
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: have that as an issue at an early age or whatnot.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Like there's so many things.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I have friends who've had to have surgeries already because
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: of their shoulders or their knees, or they pushed too
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: hard trying to stay able bodied and perfect bodied and
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: has caused problems later in life. I'm kind of concerned
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: about what I might have done when I was running
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: as much as I was running for a thick girl.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: A thick short girl.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: But there's so much like, yes, like I don't think
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I feel very fortunate. I feel very fortunate to be
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: in the health that I am.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I absolutely do. But it's so hard not.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: To wish, yeah, or look back at that past or
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: look it back at something and be like, I wish
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: I was able to do this, I wish I will
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: do that, because yeah, like going out and doing more
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: things sounds like an amazing idea. Let's take that way,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: because it doesn't sound amazing to me.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and it is. It's also been interesting because
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: like I feel that I'm on a strange backswing where
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: I'm being so protective. I don't want to do anything,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: but then I'm getting pulled into new things. So I
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm like not, I need to find a
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: happy medium, and I haven't found it yet. I haven't
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: found between isolating all the time to going out all
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: the time. I'm trying.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Maybe you just gotta have to think of it as
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: seasons and not necessarily a middle ground. Like sometimes you
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: just are busy and it happens and that's okay, and
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: then sometimes you get to have that downtime and it
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: lasts a little while and that's okay. Like I thought
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: about that on the holidays, because the last four three weeks,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I have seen people more people, and I love it.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I loved every bit of it. Like I got to
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: see my friends that I haven't seen forever. I'm talking
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: to people. We're gonna do a whole zoom call, which
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I don't do typically with my friend in Canada and
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: in England, you know, like being able to talk to people.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: I've gone out to see my family, like my niece
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: and I had dinner, which I haven't seen her in
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: a minute. Like all of these different things. I've gotten
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: to see my friends, I got to celebrate Caroline's birthday
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: with that group of people. I've been helping people like
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: things that I don't necessarily want to do all the time.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: This season has happened. That's great, But maybe instead of
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: trying to find that there's no middle ground, just seasons
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: of it and then you move on.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Well,
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: I guess I'm just for whoever else is listening to this,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: and you do feel that dread of the new year
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: is coming and you have to change everything and maybe
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: find some way to be your younger self, like, maybe
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: step back from that, be realistic, be realistic. Like honestly,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I know it especially to younger people because I thought
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: the same thing too when I was younger. She was
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: a different person and she was good in some ways
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: and bad as some way, but she was a different person.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: And I don't know that it's healthy to try to
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: get back to that. So I think, just keep that
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: in mind. Don't make yourself feel horrible about yourself just
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: because a new year is coming. There's no need, there's
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: no need for it. Well, I think this is the
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: last happy hour of news.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: So cheers, cheers, Happy New Years.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Goodbye twenty twenty three, Happy New Year. Whatever you do,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: we would love to hear if you have any traditions.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Ours are staying in apparently yes, yes, I love it.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: Good macaroni and cheese for me.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I have a soup I make. It's amazing. But listeners,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: if you haven't traditions, please let us know. You can
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: write in to our email at stuff mediammom Stuff at
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter at
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: mom Stuff podcast or on TikTok and Instagram a Stuff
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: I've Never Told You. We have a tea public store
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: and a book and an audiobook that you can get.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our super producer Christina, our executive
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: producer Maya, and our contributor Joey.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: Thank you and happy New Year.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, happy New Year, and thanks to you for listening.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Stuff Will Ever Told You is production of iHeartRadio. For
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: more podcasts on my heart Radio, you can check out
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast or if you listen
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: to your favorite shows