Latest / Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast / Teen Sexting: Insights and Solutions

Transcript

Teen Sexting: Insights and Solutions · Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: With the John and Ben Podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Cheers to Dilma making the world a better tea.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: I think you nice to be here, Holly.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Sexting big topic and Ben, just as we were about
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: to start talking to you, a jaw dropping statistic.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, forty percent on your article I'm reading on the
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: parenting place, forty percent of young people in a survey
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: in last year said they'd done it.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so there was informal research. Just looking at research
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: today in Australia, there was some research down in twenty
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: twenty one that said fourteen to eighteen year olds have
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: found sexting ordinary practice. Eighty six percent have perceived sex
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: in seventy percent have sent them, eighty.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Six have received.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: That is a wild figure, super high number.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: So what do we do? Sorry, just well to use
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: the term strip it back, which seems like a weird
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: term to use. But what do you when you say
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: sex thing? What do you exactly mean?
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: I know what some of them I'm not an idiot,
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: I know, but I mean, is it all time of?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: The sex thing involves taking self made naked or partially
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: naked sexual photos, videos, or explicit text messages and send
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: them online or buy a text message, so they're often
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: referred to as nudes or a little bit more crudely
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: as dick picks. Yeah, as you know from the stats,
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: it is an increasing it's an increasing kind of more
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: normalized thing that is happening. And so I think as
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: parents it's really important that we are aware. I know
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: it's so cringey to think about our chilism and involved
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: with this, but we need to find foot it so
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: that we can help prepare them for it if they're
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: asked to send a nude or they send one, Because what.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: Are those conversations that you do need to have Because
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I know that not necessarily even just with it when
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: it comes to rude messages, but I know that, and
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: this probably comes from years of me having embarrassing sketches
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: and skits online that you know, things that I've done.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: But once you send something I can't say to the kids.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Once you send, even of it's to your friend or whatever,
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: you've kind of lost control of that image or whatever
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: it does you've seen that has now gone, even if
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: you trust them that way totally.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: And I think this is such a good point is
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: that we have, like our kids are growing up in
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: such a different era than we were when I was
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: growing up in the eighties, I didn't even know what.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: The until it was. If I wanted to see any
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: images of genitals, I don't have to go to a
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: toilet wall and draw them on there. It is crazy,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: it really is.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: It is, and so you know, he Okay. What we're
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: finding is that a lot of parents find this such
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: an awkward, uncomfortable topic to talk about with their kids
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: because it is. It's really awkward, and we don't want
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: to imagine that our kids could be involved in this,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: but we don't prepare them for it, and we don't
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: have the kind of the conversation as an open thing
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: that they can know that we know about it and
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: they can come to us. They could get themselves into
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: a risky situation. So here's an example I heard last
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: week from a counselor in New Zealand. It's a really
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: upsetting story. Is about a young girl under sixteen. Her
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: boyfriend asked you to send a note to want to
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: pressure her, told her that everyone's doing it, so eventually
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: she sent him a nude. He edited the nude and
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: sent it an assembly by ear drop to everybody. It
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: was really just school in the school in the assembly,
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: and for a year she didn't tell her parents, she
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: didn't tell any teachers, and he continued to after that event,
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: he started to pressure her to send more nudes, spun
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: threatening her, and it became this kind of escalating issue.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: She kept it to herself. She was so embarrassed about it.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: She ended up getting to a point where she was
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: self harming, really depressed, in suicidal and after he had
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: told him and then was able to see a counsel
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: and get some help. But this is such as not
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: a unique situation. I hear these stories regally, and this
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: is why we do have to have conversations with our
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: kids and we can be guided by them. You know,
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: it's not happening to every child, but what we want
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: is for you know, if our child was asked to
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: send a node, or they see one, or they're getting pressured,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: we want them to know they can come to us.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: We're not going to freak out, We're not going to
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: be angry at them. We're going to support them and
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: help them to know how to how to handle it.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: There's a heartbreaking story. And if there are kids listening
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: to this or parents listening to this, once you get
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: over that initial embarrassment. Once it's open and out there
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: and you're having a conversation, that disappears that embarrassment.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, and I think what was awesome for
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: parents to be able to do for their kids. We've
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: got a great article on our website, but we love
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: the what would you do question? So it's just being
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: a little bit curious about what your kids know about
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: nudes and then ask, okay, so what would you do
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: if someone asks for a nude? This is a really
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: great way to help your kids think kind of critically
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: about what they would do in the situation before it
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: actually happens. And they've got some kind of tools in
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: their KTI so that they have the language, they know
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: how to respond. They might still kind of freeze and
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: you know, be a bit unsure, but they've had the
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: conversation and they know that they can come to you
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: and say, hey Mum, this thing happened, or hey dad.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I've just always applied by the rule just don't put
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: my genitaals on the internet. You know, that's just I
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: want to see them.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, I don't even want to see my
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: own genitals. There'll on everyone else.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: That's a message for our boys too.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: You pat, No, they're horrendous looking things.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, so that's a worst case scenario. It
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: has happened. What can you and I know you deal
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: with this in the article as well. It's out there
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: in the world. There are some steps you can do
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: to try and absolutely get it removed in some ways.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, we want to contact the social media
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: platform immediately with it and shared. It might not have
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: been social media, It might have been ear dropped in assembly.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: It could have been what several text message, So we're
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: going to fit social media. You want to report it,
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: contact net Safe and make a report. They operate the
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Harmful Digital Communications at and they are able to help
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: help you navigate the process of getting access to that
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: image blocked. There's also a really great website called take
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: It Down, which basically puts like a hashing kind of
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: code onto the image and it will constantly fall the
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Internet to find that image and take it down. It's
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: not feel proof, but yeah, net safe and take it
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: down and reporting it if it's on such reporting it
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: to that to that platform is really important.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: We might really run take it down over a couple
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: of our old bits of content and you know, you flip,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: you flip the other side. You're just telling that story
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: of what that boyfriend was doing to that girl, and
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: he's clearly got a lot of learning to do in life.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: But if you find one of your kids is sharing
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: the images like that, would that would be devastating. How
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: would you approach that?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, do you know, it's really important for our kids
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: to know it's actually illegal. You're you're officially sending your
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: distributing child's excuse material. So that's a really important message
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: that our kids need to know, our boys and our girls,
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: because there is a bit of a culture developing with
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: kids are sharing this type of content thinking it's funny,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: it's entertaining, it's amusing, and it's illegal. So you could
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: have a policeman knock on your door. You could be
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: investigated at a crime and that's an important message we
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: need to tell our kids.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Well, that's yeah, that's that's really good. Holly Jene, this
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: has been very interesting. Thank you so much, and we'll
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: helpe you catch up with you shortly.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you too.