Latest / So Shameless / Not Your Average Girl Feat Hope Giselle (Part Two)

Transcript

Not Your Average Girl Feat Hope Giselle (Part Two) · So Shameless

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: If you know what I'm saying so much, so shameless.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: If you know what I'm saying, dude, so shameless. If
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, so shamous, so shameless, so
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: so so shameless. If you know what I'm saying, so shameless,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: If you know what I'm saying, so shameless.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Say if you.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying, so shameless, if you know what
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, so shame.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: This you're like nights, be man like bigger val.
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, welcome back to so shameless. You see what I'm saying.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: He don't give a fuck about nothing. I love him.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: We had an interesting part one. Do y'all mind just
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: talking nonsense and laughing and joking and they.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: That was intense. I'm not gonna lie in a little bit.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: I have something even more intense. The listener letter. Oh god,
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: and when you mentioned not giving a fuck, it made
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: me think of this listener letter.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: What is thing?
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Man? I missed the listening letters. It's been a minute.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I'm actually happy I get the
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: be on here with one.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you really are gonna be happy
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: about this. I needed some advice on your situation. I
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: listened to your podcast all the time. My BM got
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: pregnant and refused to get an abortion after I told
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: her multiple times I didn't want a kid, and she
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: agreed to get an abortion. She knows I'm in a
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: relationship with someone. They don't get along and done had
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: a situation, but between each other. I honestly feel like
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: she's keeping the kid despite my fiance because of their past.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: She recently posted some old text messages and picked she
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: took up my car outside of her house when I
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: dropped off money for my kid. My fiance gave me
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: the ring back, and she says she's tired and not
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: going to be part of a love triangle. How do
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: I fix this whole situation. I love my fiance and
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: wanted to work.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: You fucked up, baby, My man got her pregnant. How
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: much do you really love her?
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: We ain't got nothing to do with that.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: They do. And that's the problem with your niggas.
• 2:35
  Speaker 6: If I have sex with another woman doesn't mean I
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: don't love my current woman.
• 2:40
  Speaker 7: I mean, I think in an ethical conversation that we've discussed, sure,
• 2:45
  Speaker 7: but there's a reason that you hit that, And I
• 2:47
  Speaker 7: think that y'all will say, like, oh, it's love, But no,
• 2:49
  Speaker 7: it's shame.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: You know you weren't supposed to do that. That's why
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: you hit it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 7: It's outside of the fact that like you know it,
• 2:54
  Speaker 7: you knew that that action was not okay. My thing
• 2:57
  Speaker 7: is she's being petty and that's fucked up because they
• 3:00
  Speaker 7: child has been brought into this underpetty as pretenses that
• 3:02
  Speaker 7: now has to live a life based off of whatever
• 3:04
  Speaker 7: hatred or.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Just saying you have for the father.
• 3:06
  Speaker 7: But the brute cause here is if it was done
• 3:10
  Speaker 7: when it was done, if it was up when it
• 3:12
  Speaker 7: was stuck, lead that bitch and her pussy at.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Her house, end of story.
• 3:17
  Speaker 7: But to turn around and be mad at what she
• 3:19
  Speaker 7: do with her body after you done gave her an ammunition.
• 3:21
  Speaker 7: You shouldn't give her a gun. It ain't no fun
• 3:22
  Speaker 7: when the rabbit got it. So now you got to
• 3:24
  Speaker 7: deal with it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Hunter.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: What you going Oh? No, Hunter, what you're going to do? Crazy?
• 3:31
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I uh, I mean I just think that he
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: might need to leave fiance alone. You know.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: He made that bad it's too far gone.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you know what I mean. Because here's the thing.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: Even if you work it out and you want to
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: be a good dad, and being a child's life. That
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: friction is going to last forever ever, and it's going
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: to be now You're going to be in the middle
• 3:54
  Speaker 5: of being a good dad, a co parent, and a husband,
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: and it's just gonna be a nasty triangle for you
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: to to live and be the best that you can
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: in all three scenarios. That's a that's an uphill battle.
• 4:09
  Speaker 7: Man.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: You know you might love her, but you gotta about
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: whether it's it's something that you can handle, you know
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: what I mean, for a lifetime.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Stress you what you do? Yeah, I think that's right.
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: I'm with you. Yeah.
• 4:31
  Speaker 6: I feel like if you made that choice, it makes
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: no sense to stay around because you're gonna set yourself
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: up for failure.
• 4:39
  Speaker 8: M hmm.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: Once that happened, I would have broke up with the short.
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, just leaving your person that you said you're gonna be.
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: With leaving bro I can't deal with that, gonna be Yeah,
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: I'll never be at peace.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I have to hear about that forever.
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: Every time. You know why side chicks don't just know
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: how to be side?
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Why would you have this when you got Yeah, that's
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: listen the conversations that certain people have it is not
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: available to everybody. I don't you might being you know
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: I'm married. You know I'm getting married. You're supposed to
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: know not to have this kid. What are you talking about?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: But you're supposed to know instant upgrade?
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not. I'm not letting off of nobody that
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: I don't want to have kids with.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: You already had a kid with. Are you're supposed to
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: know not to have this one?
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm?
• 5:33
  Speaker 8: What?
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: Wait? This is the second kid? This was referred to
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: her as baby ones because.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Already I dropped off money for my kids.
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: I'm thinking he's talking about the president the new kid.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: There's a time this is the second kid or the third? Yeah,
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: I thought there was a time lapse in the explanation,
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: like she's pregnant and she had it and then no, no,
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: he's all the way. It's over, man, let it go.
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: Because when you got to have some type of discipline, bro,
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: like you know what comes with that. If you got
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: a kid already, the chances of her keeping it is higher.
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: Come on her and you guys not having kids.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: But also too.
• 6:24
  Speaker 9: And then in the Chex he says that she took
• 6:26
  Speaker 9: pictures of his card to spite his fiance, so she
• 6:29
  Speaker 9: knows that, like, the more he goes up in his relationship,
• 6:31
  Speaker 9: the more I'm gonna show my dominance and show her that.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: She's exactly Yeah, Like that's why he has.
• 6:36
  Speaker 9: To leave, because he's never gonna be able to come
• 6:38
  Speaker 9: out of that matrix because he don't control it no
• 6:40
  Speaker 9: more at that point.
• 6:42
  Speaker 6: No, And some women want more kids, but they just
• 6:45
  Speaker 6: don't want to have different baby father. You unders saying, So, now, oh,
• 6:48
  Speaker 6: I got the same baby father.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: It's always were going.
• 6:51
  Speaker 7: And then I'm my weaponize the kid because I'm gonna
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: tell my baby already, oh you got a sibling coming.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: So now I'm gonna use that because they're gonna want to.
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: Say, daddy, I gotta oh brought yo. But guess what
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: had you not fucked that you had problems?
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: Fucked me to the guys that you know, I'm engaged
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: with somebody that they don't have no accountability baby, the
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: territorial bro.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: They don't want that to happen.
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: You can fuck your BM forever.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: You're supposed to be able to stop this.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: You're supposed to have a connection like you might ride
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: or die forever.
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: Absolutely not. First of all, up the co parenting situation,
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: and then it clouds any future healthy relationship that you
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: have with any woman because you want her to respect
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: the co parents in situation. But you already muddle the waters.
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: Come on, come on, man.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: And trying to get the water out.
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: Of the car.
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: Nah man, you're talking about how men used to be better.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: Side chicks used to be better.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: I agree this.
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: Loretta down the block would have never had JP's fucking
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: side checking the baby.
• 8:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, side chicks sign up for the perks.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I don't want none of the drama.
• 8:07
  Speaker 7: I'm here for the occasional bag, the occasional sneak off vacation.
• 8:11
  Speaker 7: I'm here for the sloppy top of a four in
• 8:13
  Speaker 7: the morning because I get off at a certain time
• 8:14
  Speaker 7: and it works for my schedule too.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I'm not here for the.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: Baby, yo.
• 8:17
  Speaker 9: The funny shit is the fiance could feel like the
• 8:19
  Speaker 9: side piece if she really, if you really think about it,
• 8:22
  Speaker 9: she could look at herself like with whold up?
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I was a side piece this whole time?
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Because it's the second baby.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: And guess what new baby?
• 8:32
  Speaker 9: That mean Holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, Easter, So you got
• 8:37
  Speaker 9: to do all of the first things over again.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't compete with it's over.
• 8:41
  Speaker 6: It's over big and a lot of women don't really
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: trust the baby mother situation.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Anyway, especially if that be single. I was up. Yeah
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: she's single.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: I was right this whole time, right right, Well, that's
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: a fact.
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: That's a that's true.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: It's true.
• 9:01
  Speaker 9: He's not lying, that's the thing. But they be right, buddy,
• 9:05
  Speaker 9: gotta move on. Yeah, you big dog, just go ahead
• 9:09
  Speaker 9: and pack it, that big dog.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: It would have been easy for you to get a side,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: go back to your baby.
• 9:13
  Speaker 9: Get you something to eat, get you a book, and
• 9:17
  Speaker 9: start working. Now focus that be a good dad.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: There's not really any way that I can honestly give
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: you real advice on this, homie.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: I'm trying. I'm digging.
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: That is good, Oh somebody, really, that's really.
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: That is good advice to cut your losses, man, like,
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: save yourself a lifetime aheadache let her get You know,
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: how long.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: For the average man black man to say I want
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: to get married to somebody, you know, it.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Takes a while for that.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: So when that you lose that, especially because of your
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: own actions, and you feel like you feel like you're
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: supposed to be the rider, like you dead ass. You're
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: gonna just leave and the other one is supposed to
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: you having a kid. You just feel so violated.
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: Like man, just like yo, I fucked up.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Man, he wasn't ready though.
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: I can't reverse this.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: He wasn't truly ready.
• 10:15
  Speaker 7: This will text the nigga for a week too many
• 10:17
  Speaker 7: and y'all would be like.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: This, you mama, I had a baby.
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: I can't the water.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Time for the water.
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we got him.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: That water was gonna come in handy, So come on, hope,
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: drink that water. Okay, you hit on the back.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: No, don't do that.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: You know people in the back that don't work. It
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: does work. It's out dated.
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: When did that stop working yet?
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: I don't that's not the way. You good, it's good.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: That does not work. This is not the army, bro.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: That what it does work? Baby? I don't know if
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: you you whatever?
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Stuff? Hit it out all right? What is it? What
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: is it? What is the science behind it?
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: You're having an interruption? Yeah, it's a lot.
• 11:22
  Speaker 9: Don't say interruption in my body. But don't say interruption
• 11:27
  Speaker 9: in my body though. Let's say something was interrupting.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: You hit it back into where what are you hitting?
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Oh my god?
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Listen, it works. It works. Watching the podcast, y'all laughing
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: at me.
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: I don't think it works. Yea, nobody keeps coughing after
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: you start hitting them on the back.
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, because they hurt.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: I look, I just don't realize.
• 11:57
  Speaker 7: I learned that from my husband, who was a medical professional,
• 11:59
  Speaker 7: that the best way to get a person to calm
• 12:01
  Speaker 7: down is to rub in a circle, a clockwise circle.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: That doesn't work.
• 12:06
  Speaker 7: Every single time. Every single time he's done it, it's worked.
• 12:09
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna wait till the next time you call it
• 12:11
  Speaker 7: and watch.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: You didn't hit me.
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: I'd rather I was uh.
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: Quote quote we're talking about kids and fathers and stuff
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: like that.
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: Let's see what these guys have to say.
• 12:28
  Speaker 10: Yeah, y'all both sound dumbest. You pick your child over
• 12:33
  Speaker 10: your spouse every single.
• 12:34
  Speaker 11: Time, if it's a plate of food, bro, if both
• 12:36
  Speaker 11: of them hanging over the side of a cliff, I'm
• 12:37
  Speaker 11: picking my child before I pick.
• 12:38
  Speaker 12: Up my spouse every single time. I'm not doing that.
• 12:40
  Speaker 12: I'm picking my child. So you okay, I'm not doing
• 12:43
  Speaker 12: that all right? Next topic, No, I just wanting to
• 12:45
  Speaker 12: get annoyed. Okay, but you're talking.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 12:49
  Speaker 11: The thing is you're looking from a personal aspect of
• 12:52
  Speaker 11: you have your son solo.
• 12:55
  Speaker 12: That's what I'm trying to tell you.
• 12:56
  Speaker 11: You're not going to see my perspective because.
• 12:59
  Speaker 12: You're not man. You've never been married. Neither have I haven't.
• 13:04
  Speaker 12: But guess what, I don't have a child either, And because.
• 13:07
  Speaker 11: Of that, my mindset is okay with saying I could
• 13:10
  Speaker 11: choose my spouse first before my kid. You only have
• 13:13
  Speaker 11: a son, you don't have a spouse. If you were
• 13:16
  Speaker 11: married to your baby, your baby mother, before having a child,
• 13:20
  Speaker 11: and you built that relationship in that core, you wouldn't
• 13:22
  Speaker 11: think the same way.
• 13:23
  Speaker 12: You think the same way because your son is all
• 13:25
  Speaker 12: you have.
• 13:26
  Speaker 11: That's all I need, right But if you were married
• 13:28
  Speaker 11: and with a woman, you wouldn't think that way. You
• 13:31
  Speaker 11: think that's my best friend. I don't want to lose
• 13:33
  Speaker 11: my best friend over anything.
• 13:35
  Speaker 12: You can make another child. You can make another baby.
• 13:40
  Speaker 12: You pick your child before your spouse.
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: You don't.
• 13:42
  Speaker 12: You pickture.
• 13:43
  Speaker 11: You picked the person that you said before God that
• 13:45
  Speaker 11: that's what I won't be with the.
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: Rest of my life.
• 13:46
  Speaker 11: Life, death, do us part in sickness and health. You
• 13:50
  Speaker 11: didn't make that commitment with your child.
• 13:53
  Speaker 12: You've committed to feed your child. I'm telling you right now,
• 13:56
  Speaker 12: I hear what you're saying.
• 13:57
  Speaker 10: You're not I do hear what you're saying, because you
• 13:59
  Speaker 10: are actual comments. I hear what you're saying one hundred percent.
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: I hear what you're saying.
• 14:04
  Speaker 10: However, I'm still picking my child every single time.
• 14:07
  Speaker 12: But that's the issue that we're having with the world
• 14:09
  Speaker 12: right now because.
• 14:10
  Speaker 10: A lot of times, let me be honest, a lot
• 14:11
  Speaker 10: of times, Phil just just not a shot at your
• 14:14
  Speaker 10: marriage either.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: A lot of times, a lot of people's.
• 14:16
  Speaker 10: Marriages are conditional love, right, and your my child is
• 14:20
  Speaker 10: unconditional love. No matter what right, you get my child
• 14:23
  Speaker 10: every time over over another person.
• 14:25
  Speaker 11: Your child hits thirteen and they're grown, there will be conditions.
• 14:31
  Speaker 10: You might My only time I'm not picking my child
• 14:33
  Speaker 10: is if he does something out of pocket, like kill somebody.
• 14:37
  Speaker 11: Their parents still pick their children when they do stuff
• 14:39
  Speaker 11: like that, love them no matter what they do.
• 14:44
  Speaker 12: Down't mean about the kids.
• 14:45
  Speaker 11: Kids will sometimes be like, my dad was this, my
• 14:48
  Speaker 11: momb was this.
• 14:48
  Speaker 12: Now I'm leaving home. I'm never going back.
• 14:50
  Speaker 10: But you just said something that agrees with my point.
• 14:54
  Speaker 10: Some some parents still pick their child even when their
• 14:56
  Speaker 10: child do crazy ash. They're not picking their responsive their
• 14:58
  Speaker 10: reposive crazy ash.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: These motherfuckers debate And I was cooking just it was cooking.
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that reminds me of this. I've seen this ship
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: on Instagram. It was like you in the water and
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: your mom is drowning. There's your mom, your wife, and
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: your daughter and there's a bag with ninety million dollars.
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: You can only save one. Which one is? You save
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: it right? And somebody in the comments was like, I'm
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: gonna take the ninety million and ball out on the repass.
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: When you said that, I was like, there, that's crazy.
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: So this is a is a tough one, man, because
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: it's one of them things. It's like, man, I hate
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: these hypotheticals about choosing. I get like, well, one of
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: them is saying, your your your partner is supposed to
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: be the most important, Your your main that's who you
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: put first, right, Your your partner, your spouse, that's who
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: you put first. But there's something in me, and I
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: don't know if this is wrong, but sometimes I'll lean
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: towards the younger person has more life to live. Like
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: you're talking about a kid, potentially, how old is a
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: kid that's the thing, right, So if you're talking about
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: a kid that hasn't lived yet, you have more life
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: to live. I need to save you, you know what
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: I mean. And it's not about who I love more
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: or whatever. But it's like, you know, it just hurts
• 16:28
  Speaker 5: a little bit more when you hear about a kid
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: dying versus somebody in middle aged or older.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean, because you still got to
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: live with your choice.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's a fucked up choice. That's why it's
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: a fucked up hypothetical either way. But I would rationalize
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: it that way. That's why I said, who do you
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: love more? It's not about who you love more, it's
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: about who you're saving. In that scenario, I think a child.
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: Like, so you saved this person, the other person automatically dies. No,
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: save the kid, be going to figure out how to
• 16:55
  Speaker 6: save the mother. Me in that predicament, like I can't
• 17:01
  Speaker 6: make something happen. Think he's the wrong, and.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: That you're gonna tell me what I can who I
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: can't save. I can say, save who I want? Trying
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: to give me.
• 17:19
  Speaker 8: A show?
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Both people get out here.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: I'm crazy, y.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I want I I'm saving the kids.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: But i'd want to save the wife.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Mm hmmm.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: But I'd save the kids. I'd want to save the wife.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: I don't know more.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: I don't know if it's more, but I feel like
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: my responsibility comes to saving.
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: The kids more than the wife.
• 18:00
  Speaker 6: Mm hmm.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: That's true. Yea, the wife might say save the kid.
• 18:05
  Speaker 9: That's what I was thinking, Like a wife probably would, Yeah,
• 18:09
  Speaker 9: you're gonna be I feel like the partners would be
• 18:12
  Speaker 9: arguing about who's gonna go.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking about living with my wife, and you know that's.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, your wife is leaving you if you save her.
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: I didn't think about that, nigga.
• 18:27
  Speaker 9: You did what you had, you know, but then you
• 18:32
  Speaker 9: would have to really break that down with her and
• 18:34
  Speaker 9: have to explain to her, like.
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: No she resent you for what if? What if it's
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: a child that is not from your wife. I definitely
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: saved my child, definitely. Why would that change it?
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: M hmmm.
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: I think that that's just that's a crazy thing.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: I don't know. It just feels nuts.
• 18:56
  Speaker 9: Do you feel more Do you feel more of a
• 18:58
  Speaker 9: responsibility to because you or like because like if I
• 19:02
  Speaker 9: choose the person, then it's like damn, I kind of
• 19:04
  Speaker 9: just left my child just you know, if they were
• 19:07
  Speaker 9: in my supervision and I kind of just left let
• 19:11
  Speaker 9: it go as opposed to does that kind of play
• 19:13
  Speaker 9: a part because that's not the mother.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: But it's just it's more like a it's tougher. It's
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: even tougher, isn't.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: I'm definitely saving my child, like and I would think
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: that today would.
• 19:26
  Speaker 12: Do the same thing.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not. I can't.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: I can't just leave my my I know this person longer.
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: I agree with y'all. Dad either y'all think differently. Would
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: y'all save the spouse first?
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: Now I'm gonna save the kids. I can't even picture
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: of my kids. But you don't have a spouse, don't matter?
• 19:48
  Speaker 6: This was go ahead, hope you do?
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: You not if I had a spouse, I'm saving my kids.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: I know what you're trying to do. You not want
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: to say it?
• 19:59
  Speaker 7: Okay, this is sword for me because I want to
• 20:02
  Speaker 7: say my husband.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Because that's like, that's just like my piece.
• 20:08
  Speaker 7: And also I think it's a layered thing because as
• 20:10
  Speaker 7: a trans woman, I'm thinking about like I ain't gonna
• 20:12
  Speaker 7: find nobody that's gonna let me like this nigga, Like
• 20:15
  Speaker 7: it'll be an eon before I find another person that's
• 20:18
  Speaker 7: gonna love me openly, all of the things like beast
• 20:23
  Speaker 7: this person and also as a trans person, we went
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: through Helen hogh Water. We didn't just lay down and
• 20:31
  Speaker 7: fuck to have this baby, like this was a We
• 20:34
  Speaker 7: had to be intentional. We spent thousands of dollars for
• 20:36
  Speaker 7: this baby to even be here, and we put a
• 20:40
  Speaker 7: lot of emotional time, like it's tumultuous to do that thing,
• 20:45
  Speaker 7: And now I have to decide between two things that
• 20:50
  Speaker 7: are like Hella's.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Question was meant for you, like it's I can't wait to.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Hear what you got to say, you know, like I
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: don't I really don't.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Know to choose. No, I'm not gonna put you in
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: the spot.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: I honestly I think I would die trying. I would die.
• 21:08
  Speaker 7: I would I would put myself in the situation so
• 21:12
  Speaker 7: that that way I could be at peace knowing that
• 21:15
  Speaker 7: like if we if we all go, or even if
• 21:17
  Speaker 7: I do survive, I went out trying to do a thing.
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: Are we all dying? Yea, because either way you got
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: to live with all types of regrets.
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: And I've seen a movie like this. I believe he
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: never was okay. The wife was never okay. Kicked this screen.
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: She could not believe that he let their child die.
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: His life was.
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: Ruined not only with the wife but knowing that he
• 21:46
  Speaker 4: might have made the wrong choice, and so he was haunted,
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: literally haunted. So the idea that you're like, yo, nah,
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: if it's a drowning thing, like I'm gonna help the wife,
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: then i would go help the kid, and then I'm
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: just gonna help the wife, and then we just all
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: just because I was just doing my my best and
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: I couldn't and I couldn't and we all just.
• 22:02
  Speaker 7: Go because like when that's when that plays back in
• 22:05
  Speaker 7: my mind, what I'm going to see.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Is my drive to make it happen.
• 22:12
  Speaker 7: It's less of me remembering I made a conscious choice
• 22:17
  Speaker 7: to reach for this one and not that one.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: That's the problem. That's the problem.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: So yesterday, that's the problem with what you just with
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: your question you asked me, I cannot just make that
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: conscious choice to leave my kid there over my wife.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: That's just I can't make that conscious choice to do that.
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: So this is where oh yeah, if the baby's like
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: not what I'm saying, it gives me a comfort in
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: my logic that.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, wrong, I'm sorry.
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: If it's God bless because you don't even know the baby.
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: Don't keep us up all night anyway?
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Why God damn it?
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, I can't even say nothing that.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Car the mama's life. You're throwing the baby.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Wow, but it's once right trumble?
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: Are you do you agree? Do you agree?
• 23:39
  Speaker 8: No?
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: I wasn't thinking a Lord, I agree, I was.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: That's why I what's the age of the baby?
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: Is actually thinking on the other way, like, the younger
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: the kid is, the more I hate to use this word,
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: but the more valuable their life is. Because you could
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: say life. If it's between an elder, a middle aged
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: person and a kid, the elder is gonna be like, yo,
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: I lived a life, save the kids, right.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: But my wife won't be eighty. My wife not eighty.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: I'm just saying so. But I'm just putting it in
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: context as a middle aged person. I'm about to be
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: fifty this year, like, I'm not ready to die. But
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: if I die and be like yo, I lived a
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: good life. I am right. My twelve year old daughter like, nah,
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: she gotta live. Bro. You know what I mean by
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: any means you know what I mean, And I would
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: expect my spouse to feel the same, like, Yo, we
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: gotta let her live, we gotta save her. I would
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: want her to do the same. Yo, I'll die. What
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: if your spouse was mad you saved the baby. She's
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: only been mad for thirty seconds as you leave me up.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, man, I really feel like, Yo, it's once
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: the baby has a personality and all that different, but that.
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: The first year's year and a half. Bro, I think
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: you have another one.
• 24:59
  Speaker 7: I'll be thinking and in optics though, because while you
• 25:02
  Speaker 7: and the baby might grow up and be cool, and
• 25:04
  Speaker 7: you have to explain that story when that headline drop,
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: you're gonna be the most hated nigger in the world
• 25:09
  Speaker 7: about leaving that new born.
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: Well, they.
• 25:13
  Speaker 7: They don't have to know, but you know, somebody gonna
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: figure it out, somebody, and like because also that something
• 25:19
  Speaker 7: like that haunts you, which is the reason why, like
• 25:21
  Speaker 7: you know, like, so you go, you're gonna confide in somebody,
• 25:24
  Speaker 7: and typically we don't go to the right people. You're
• 25:26
  Speaker 7: gonna tell somebody and by the time that person formulates
• 25:30
  Speaker 7: their opinion and their friend who they done told formulates
• 25:33
  Speaker 7: their opinion, and da da da da da. Somebody picks
• 25:35
  Speaker 7: that shup and it becomes a thing. And I'm just like, nah,
• 25:37
  Speaker 7: I would rather not all of us going, all of
• 25:40
  Speaker 7: us going.
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: The parenting conversation has come up. Hmmm, I'm gonna leave
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: that one there.
• 25:48
  Speaker 8: And I think that parenting needs to be called out
• 25:54
  Speaker 8: of the last forty years.
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: What do you mean?
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: I believe that.
• 25:57
  Speaker 8: About out the insecurity, all the stuff we talk talk about.
• 26:00
  Speaker 8: I believe the reason we're buying more stuff is we're
• 26:03
  Speaker 8: using it as band aids and glitter because we're not
• 26:07
  Speaker 8: strong enough to be secure and what we are and
• 26:10
  Speaker 8: who we are and what we have. And people gonna say, oh,
• 26:12
  Speaker 8: it's social media. In this we grew up with lifestyles
• 26:14
  Speaker 8: of the rich and famous.
• 26:15
  Speaker 12: That's fur.
• 26:15
  Speaker 8: TV cribs had plenty of run that. We want to
• 26:19
  Speaker 8: blame technology for a much bigger issue, which is modern
• 26:24
  Speaker 8: parenting misstepped. We don't hold kids accountable, we don't ground,
• 26:28
  Speaker 8: we definitely don't whoop. Do you understand that if I
• 26:31
  Speaker 8: even this is real what I'm about to say. I
• 26:33
  Speaker 8: was scared to even think about disrespecting my mom because
• 26:36
  Speaker 8: I was scared she could see it on my face
• 26:38
  Speaker 8: as a thought, every parent, I'm gonna poke right at
• 26:42
  Speaker 8: the bear right now. Do you know what these parents
• 26:44
  Speaker 8: are allowing their thirteen and fifteen year old kids to
• 26:46
  Speaker 8: say to them, we have lost our And then we're
• 26:49
  Speaker 8: sending these kids into the real world and we're wondering
• 26:51
  Speaker 8: why they're depressed. They're depressed because they weren't taught any accountability.
• 26:55
  Speaker 8: Eighth place trophies for everyone.
• 26:57
  Speaker 12: We have demonized.
• 26:58
  Speaker 8: Losing when losing is the teacher as someone who gets
• 27:02
  Speaker 8: tens of thousands of dms from twenty to thirty year
• 27:04
  Speaker 8: olds every month and they're mad at their parents for
• 27:07
  Speaker 8: taking care of them has grown Upso we have twenty
• 27:10
  Speaker 8: five year olds walking around earth being tracked by the
• 27:12
  Speaker 8: twenty five year old men being tracked by their mom
• 27:15
  Speaker 8: on three sixty.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 27:16
  Speaker 9: It's at scale.
• 27:17
  Speaker 8: By the way, you will be shook when you run.
• 27:19
  Speaker 12: It's crazy.
• 27:20
  Speaker 8: They're getting paid for by their parents.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Our generation. A lot of people watching right now.
• 27:25
  Speaker 8: If you got a little help from your parents back
• 27:27
  Speaker 8: in the seventies, eighties, sixties, in the early nineties, you
• 27:30
  Speaker 8: borrowed money from mom and dad as a new couple,
• 27:33
  Speaker 8: and you paid them back.
• 27:34
  Speaker 12: That's true. We all know that's true.
• 27:36
  Speaker 8: Now these kids are on the payroll their whole lives.
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: What do y'all think that sounds like a white people
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: that's a white people thing.
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: It's true.
• 27:47
  Speaker 6: I think what black person you know got their kid
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: twenty five cent the bread?
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 27:53
  Speaker 7: I think there's true, no, like you take care of
• 27:57
  Speaker 7: you take care of them in a different way. But
• 27:59
  Speaker 7: I think because I feel like I hear where you're
• 28:01
  Speaker 7: coming from, like it, I think there are certain parts
• 28:03
  Speaker 7: of that conversations that.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Are definitely like white people COVID.
• 28:06
  Speaker 7: But I think there is there is guilt parenting that
• 28:10
  Speaker 7: I think is happening. And by guilt, I mean a
• 28:13
  Speaker 7: lot of us come from being the first generation whatever.
• 28:18
  Speaker 7: And so it's that conversation that we all have had
• 28:21
  Speaker 7: at some point with our friends on the come up,
• 28:23
  Speaker 7: like my kids ain gonna never have to want, They're
• 28:25
  Speaker 7: not gonna never have to struggle, and they never have
• 28:26
  Speaker 7: to da da da da. And I think that what
• 28:29
  Speaker 7: we forget is that like, Okay, they don't have to
• 28:32
  Speaker 7: want while they're here, they don't have to struggle while
• 28:34
  Speaker 7: they're here, they have to dah da da da. But
• 28:35
  Speaker 7: then at some point you look up and they are
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: thirty and you're like, damn, I still play this bitch
• 28:39
  Speaker 7: phone bill, and because it's become a part of your
• 28:43
  Speaker 7: like these are the part of the bills, like you.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Don't even think about the shit.
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: And I think that there's a difference between an active
• 28:49
  Speaker 7: coddling and something that you were happy to do because
• 28:53
  Speaker 7: it meant success for you. Like for me, I can
• 28:56
  Speaker 7: pay my kids phone billing and not I can still
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: do everything I can do with da da. My parents
• 29:00
  Speaker 7: couldn't do that, So I feel happy sometimes as long
• 29:05
  Speaker 7: as it's not affecting me. What I notice is that
• 29:07
  Speaker 7: people will only complain about that shit when it started
• 29:09
  Speaker 7: breaking the pockets. Now the whatever the business done kind
• 29:13
  Speaker 7: of fellow off a little bit. Daddy done got sick,
• 29:15
  Speaker 7: he can't work as much as he used to work,
• 29:17
  Speaker 7: So now mama got to do all the things. I
• 29:19
  Speaker 7: don't want to pay that on Bill Moore. Now you're lazy.
• 29:22
  Speaker 7: Now you need to get up and get a job.
• 29:23
  Speaker 7: Now you gotta da da da da. But before, when
• 29:25
  Speaker 7: it wasn't bothering me, I was happy to do it
• 29:27
  Speaker 7: because it said something about my success as a parent
• 29:30
  Speaker 7: based off of my necessity to make sure you didn't
• 29:33
  Speaker 7: have the life that I had tough.
• 29:37
  Speaker 5: I agree, And I'll add to that that soft parenting
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: is a result of growing up with hard parenting. You like,
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: when I become a parent, I'm not gonna work my
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: kids like that, Like I'm not gonna do the same
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: things that my parents did wrong, right. And I think
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: now this generation, myself included, is too soft on our
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: kid and maybe the next generation is going to get
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: it right. It's all about balance, but it's a direct
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: result of trying to do the opposite of what you
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: know what I mean, But is it my thing?
• 30:08
  Speaker 7: Is is it that those things were wrong or is
• 30:10
  Speaker 7: it just that that's what we believe was right. I
• 30:12
  Speaker 7: don't think that there's anything wrong with the way that
• 30:14
  Speaker 7: some of these kids are expressing, Like I think that
• 30:16
  Speaker 7: that's one of those old school ways that we're like, oh,
• 30:19
  Speaker 7: I can't even think about disrespect, But okay, let's quantify
• 30:22
  Speaker 7: what your parents classified as disrespect. Because some of the
• 30:25
  Speaker 7: shit that our parents thought was disrespect it was like, what, No,
• 30:27
  Speaker 7: that's me being a human being with feelings, right. And
• 30:30
  Speaker 7: so I think that when we really break a lot
• 30:32
  Speaker 7: of this down, it is the dismantling of the what
• 30:38
  Speaker 7: were we calling it. That word has kind of sort
• 30:40
  Speaker 7: of it's phased out, but we were using it a lot.
• 30:43
  Speaker 7: Generational ties or generational trauma.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, we stopped using that. I just really like that.
• 30:48
  Speaker 7: But anyway, so there's a lot of generational trauma and
• 30:52
  Speaker 7: curse curses, generational curses that we're breaking by way of
• 30:57
  Speaker 7: saying like, no, you're a child, but you're a human.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: And I think that the elders watching.
• 31:01
  Speaker 7: That happen are like, y'all gotta be fucking crazy to
• 31:05
  Speaker 7: be allowing these kids to believe that they can have opinion,
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: And it's just like no, like to me, that's not
• 31:15
  Speaker 7: just as the parent of this child.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: That's not disrespect because now I understand where you're coming from.
• 31:20
  Speaker 7: So when I do ground you, we gonna ground you
• 31:22
  Speaker 7: according to the things that you like and not just
• 31:24
  Speaker 7: off of some brutality shit that I was taught. And
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: you're also gonna understand why you're grounded, which is the reason.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: Why, like people can say what they want to say.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: But a lot of these.
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: Kids are not out here doing the shit that we
• 31:35
  Speaker 7: was doing as an act of rebellion for being grounded,
• 31:38
  Speaker 7: because they get it. You know what you're right. I
• 31:42
  Speaker 7: ain't even much have to talk to that lady like
• 31:43
  Speaker 7: that in class today. But I was in my feelings
• 31:45
  Speaker 7: and here's why. Okay, I understand that you was in
• 31:47
  Speaker 7: your friends, but next time, how about we go about
• 31:49
  Speaker 7: it like this.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: You know what you right?
• 31:52
  Speaker 7: Okay, cool, but for the next week, I need that phone.
• 31:55
  Speaker 7: Cool bet no bickie. Whereas when it was us it
• 31:59
  Speaker 7: was whatever. That's just say go because the adult says
• 32:01
  Speaker 7: so and so on. I'm giving a fuck what you
• 32:02
  Speaker 7: got to say. Give me that motherfucker phone, give me
• 32:03
  Speaker 7: an iPad, all of the things.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: Go take your ass upstairs.
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: Yep, you never really heard the kid out.
• 32:08
  Speaker 7: Never, and the rebellion came from Had you listened the
• 32:13
  Speaker 7: first time, you might have realized that the teacher was
• 32:15
  Speaker 7: on some function. And so now the rebellion comes from
• 32:18
  Speaker 7: I was right. I couldn't even really say I was right.
• 32:20
  Speaker 7: So now I want to piss you off on some
• 32:22
  Speaker 7: other shit. So now I'm coming home late from band practice.
• 32:25
  Speaker 7: Now that little girl you said you didn't want to
• 32:26
  Speaker 7: see around the house, she creeping around the back porch,
• 32:29
  Speaker 7: because I just want to piss you off because you
• 32:30
  Speaker 7: ain't listen to me. So I'm not gonna listen to you.
• 32:33
  Speaker 7: But when you have a conversation and you talk to
• 32:35
  Speaker 7: your child not as an equal, but as another human
• 32:39
  Speaker 7: being with feelings, and you could hear it out. Now
• 32:41
  Speaker 7: everybody understands why what is happening or what is about
• 32:44
  Speaker 7: to happen is happening and we can both move peacefully
• 32:46
  Speaker 7: through whatever your punishment.
• 32:47
  Speaker 12: Fing to be.
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: Step daughter.
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: Why she did something in school? And then and she says, honestly,
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: I was over stimulated.
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: She was sixteen fifteen.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: I had to take a second because what the fuck
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: is what? How did you even know to say that?
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: I wasn't saying stuff like that at that age, right,
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: I wasn't speaking like that at that age. But this
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: whole conversation makes me think what generation had the best parenting?
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Like what should we because shit, I feel like everybody
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: was affected by what was going on at the times or.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: Something.
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: When was the best parenting? What do you think time?
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: I think we're the best parents?
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: We are? Yeah, I agree, I.
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: Think the generation is gonna be better.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's you think this is the best parents.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: We are.
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: Not like the twenty year olds that's having kids.
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: You can't say yeah when you work in the school,
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: what's wrong, and the teachers pressed, the parents press you
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: about doing shit to help their children, and the parents
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: are mad at you.
• 34:06
  Speaker 9: But you got to remember there's different there's different types
• 34:08
  Speaker 9: of parents. So there's older parents, there's young young parents,
• 34:11
  Speaker 9: there's parents in the middle. So it just really depends on.
• 34:14
  Speaker 6: It's parents that had kids at fourteen. Yeah, they probably
• 34:17
  Speaker 6: go to yes school.
• 34:18
  Speaker 9: You know, some kids in the school, when they find
• 34:20
  Speaker 9: out how old they am, they be like, yo, oh
• 34:21
  Speaker 9: my mom is like your age are a little bit
• 34:23
  Speaker 9: younger than you. And I'll be like, oh, thanks, Yeah, yeah,
• 34:27
  Speaker 9: I think that your Instagram.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: I don't believe that that y'all are right.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: You don't think so.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Because I think that this age of parents have too
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: many tools not to parents.
• 34:45
  Speaker 6: I get what you're saying, like the tablet for example,
• 34:47
  Speaker 6: like oh, you take the tablet.
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: And they do whatever. I think that you you don't.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Have to okay to.
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: Our children or know as much about our children.
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: Back to that was our parents have just left us alone.
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: Somebody not going to do.
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: Listen right here.
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: But I think that those things I'm scared.
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: I'm not scared, but I do worry about that next
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: generation that was raised this way. I think that playing
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: double dutch, playing skelly, playing football in the street, socially
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: social things, you just going outside and experienced life at
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: a younger age is character building. And I don't think
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: that these kids are getting that. And I think that
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: we're able to see that and the level of insels
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: or the level of just even the school shootings and
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: ship like that, Like you're seeing the lack of social
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: interaction and parenting, I would.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: Say, affect us in real time and what.
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: Happens in ten, fifteen, twenty years when nin people when
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: it's really like matures.
• 36:07
  Speaker 9: Yes, no, no, What I was gonna say, my fault
• 36:10
  Speaker 9: rout of coutry off. What I was gonna say was
• 36:14
  Speaker 9: I hear what you're saying. But to me, like obviously
• 36:17
  Speaker 9: working in the school, I can't say that it's the
• 36:20
  Speaker 9: parenting all the time.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: I think.
• 36:23
  Speaker 9: You know, I heard this video one time and it's
• 36:25
  Speaker 9: a guy he was talking about games in the nineties
• 36:27
  Speaker 9: versus games now, and he made a really good point
• 36:30
  Speaker 9: and he was talking about basically, back in the days
• 36:32
  Speaker 9: when games were made, they were made to test our resilience. Right,
• 36:36
  Speaker 9: we had three lives, right, we had to overcome Mario
• 36:39
  Speaker 9: Legend of Zelda. We had to figure things out and
• 36:42
  Speaker 9: if we died, we started over. There was no automatic save,
• 36:46
  Speaker 9: no automatic checkpoint. We had to actually figure things out
• 36:49
  Speaker 9: and use critical thinking. Now, when you fast forward to today,
• 36:52
  Speaker 9: the games are infinite. There's infinite lives, you know what
• 36:55
  Speaker 9: I'm saying. So just those little things when you're thinking
• 36:58
  Speaker 9: about the psychology of kids growing up and you know
• 37:00
  Speaker 9: how we grew up and how kids are growing up now,
• 37:04
  Speaker 9: it's it's it's just done in a different way and
• 37:07
  Speaker 9: it's for it's hitting different things, right, So I think
• 37:10
  Speaker 9: today and I got to tell you, you know, I
• 37:12
  Speaker 9: work with the basketball kids and all of that.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Kids are not motivated today.
• 37:17
  Speaker 9: That's something I've noticed being in school for almost a
• 37:20
  Speaker 9: year and a half. Now, kids have parents, they have access,
• 37:24
  Speaker 9: their parents want them to do well.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: They have two parents. Sometimes they have a TIVS.
• 37:28
  Speaker 9: They have a whole support system, and they just feel like, yo,
• 37:32
  Speaker 9: I'd rather just be on my phone.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: That's because they've been looking at tablets since they was two.
• 37:37
  Speaker 9: But but in certain cases when you meet their parents,
• 37:41
  Speaker 9: their parents are anti that their parents have did everything
• 37:43
  Speaker 9: that they could to get them away from that and
• 37:46
  Speaker 9: they but you know, you can't force them to, you know,
• 37:49
  Speaker 9: go and participate in extracurriculus. But it's just like I
• 37:52
  Speaker 9: don't know, I get and to your point, it might
• 37:54
  Speaker 9: be tablets and you know, these games and these things,
• 37:57
  Speaker 9: but it's a lot of that with these kids, like
• 38:00
  Speaker 9: self choice of saying like, yo, I just don't want
• 38:02
  Speaker 9: to do it. I don't want to play sports, I
• 38:04
  Speaker 9: don't want to try something new. I don't even want
• 38:07
  Speaker 9: to go on a school trip. You know what I'm saying.
• 38:08
  Speaker 9: It's like when you not want to leave the building,
• 38:11
  Speaker 9: they just cool.
• 38:11
  Speaker 6: We'd just been like I just want to stay in
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: my bubble and just exist at certain towns though.
• 38:18
  Speaker 7: But you know, I think also the expectation for kids
• 38:22
  Speaker 7: is different now than it was for us. Like the
• 38:24
  Speaker 7: things that you idolize now are completely different than they
• 38:27
  Speaker 7: were when we were younger. The shit that we idolized
• 38:30
  Speaker 7: you had to go out, like you had to go
• 38:32
  Speaker 7: to ballet class if you wanted to be a dancer,
• 38:33
  Speaker 7: you had to be in your theater, you had to
• 38:35
  Speaker 7: go to band practice, you had to like play the
• 38:37
  Speaker 7: football and the things. Now the aspirations are, I want
• 38:41
  Speaker 7: to have a million followers. I ain't got to be
• 38:43
  Speaker 7: outside do that. I can sit on YouTube all day
• 38:45
  Speaker 7: and learn the program and the flavoring and all the things.
• 38:48
  Speaker 7: And then by the time I get set up to
• 38:50
  Speaker 7: do this thing, you think that it's nothing. But I
• 38:53
  Speaker 7: don't spent thousands of your dollars in this room setting
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: up my ring light and my stuff to play my
• 38:59
  Speaker 7: twitch all.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Day and build my and my thing.
• 39:03
  Speaker 7: Is the funny thing about it is that like we
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: as parents will be like, you ain't doing shit until
• 39:06
  Speaker 7: the ship makes sense for.
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: Us money, that's still worse money, but.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: It's still work.
• 39:11
  Speaker 7: And I think that that's the thing that we are missing,
• 39:13
  Speaker 7: is that we just had a different work ethic because
• 39:15
  Speaker 7: we did not have the tools or access to those things.
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: Whereas the like I wonder how many of us would
• 39:21
  Speaker 7: have had a million followers because we.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Were we had to be more creative young.
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: That lane didn't exist.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: That lane didn't.
• 39:26
  Speaker 7: Exist, though, But imagine how many of us would have
• 39:28
  Speaker 7: like really smoked out on on the social media ship.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: If social media was we had social media, we would
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: have what we.
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: Would have been lit Yeah, like the creativity that lived
• 39:40
  Speaker 7: in in the early late nineties, we would have been
• 39:43
  Speaker 7: on social media lit.
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: But stifled the creativity. So you don't know what could
• 39:48
  Speaker 5: have happened.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: It could have, but I think, like, imagine.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: The real I was crying, y'all.
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: I like what Traum was saying, though mm hm. Boredom
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: is like adrenaline for creativity, and it makes us create,
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: it makes us figure.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: It out right.
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: And now it's like like yesterday said, there's an infinite
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: amount of that word infinite, not what he was saying,
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: but is an infinite amount of things to do in
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: this one space right in this computer, and you stop
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: going outside with your friends, which.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: Is a lack of character. What is that tablet doing
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: for your character creativity?
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: They're never lonely. They got their friends online and on
• 40:44
  Speaker 5: the phone, and that kills real social.
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: Interactions because it's easier.
• 40:51
  Speaker 7: But think about it. Outside became unsafe for our kids.
• 40:56
  Speaker 7: Our kids were on the porch plan.
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: I could stand in front of a window when I
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: was a kid. Come on now, so no, But but
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying is, I sue was outside though we
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: were still outside.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: But I think that these days a large.
• 41:11
  Speaker 7: Part of the reason why those things exist is because
• 41:14
  Speaker 7: we believe that they're keeping our kids safe because outside
• 41:18
  Speaker 7: it's not like when we were growing up, adults made
• 41:21
  Speaker 7: sure that we were included in the society. There were
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: teen clubs, there were parties. There was a pack jam
• 41:27
  Speaker 7: that was specifically for the kids. Like if there was
• 41:29
  Speaker 7: a party that was for adults that was like a
• 41:31
  Speaker 7: big like neighborhood party that all the adults went to,
• 41:33
  Speaker 7: they created a kid version, like a teen version that
• 41:35
  Speaker 7: happened the night before, so that the kids could still
• 41:37
  Speaker 7: feel a thing.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: We were in camaraderie with one another.
• 41:41
  Speaker 7: Nowadays we're not even in comaraderie because community can't be
• 41:43
  Speaker 7: community no more because everybody got four five jobs.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: So we're not sitting outside on the porch.
• 41:48
  Speaker 7: At night drinking the beers on Friday after everybody get
• 41:51
  Speaker 7: off because everybody got four five six jobs and so
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: and so we don't even have the big mama that
• 41:56
  Speaker 7: watch everybody kids no.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: More like grandparents and grandparents no more.
• 41:59
  Speaker 7: But it's not even grant him that we don't even
• 42:02
  Speaker 7: got the neighborhood auntie.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: That ain't nobody auntie, But is everybody oncie no more?
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Like we don't. We don't have that community.
• 42:09
  Speaker 7: And so it's just like there's no reason to go
• 42:12
  Speaker 7: outside because it ain't nothing for you outside. Like as adults,
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: we know you go outside, you're smoking weed, you're doing this,
• 42:17
  Speaker 7: you're doing that. There's no space for kids that I
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: can't like that shift the combo.
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: Let me shift the combo right because he said some things.
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: Should we bring spanking back?
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: No?
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: No, what's that going to do? That could create more trauma?
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: You know the things that he was speaking about you
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: disagree to.
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: I know you can never hear. Well, I'm just thinking
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: about it because I never had to spank either one
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: of my daughters, but they are good kids. Me and
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: my brother. I kind of want to say like we
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: had it coming, like we was we deserved this ship,
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: like we.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: Was fucking up your brother kind of you have.
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: Older brother and daughters. My daughters have been good kids,
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: so I haven't had to discipline them the way that
• 43:04
  Speaker 5: I was disciplined.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: You think we had boys were disciplined them more.
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: Yes, But I would also hope that they were good kids.
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: And I think that a lot of the kids now
• 43:13
  Speaker 5: are better kids than we were as kids. And like yesterday,
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: I work in the school system, and yeah, there's y ns,
• 43:19
  Speaker 5: there's little niggas, out here doing funck shit. But I
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: think about how we was back then, and I'm like, yeah,
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: we was worse. They were better. Yes, I think that
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: the kids are generally better behave now than.
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: We wasn't taking lean.
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about nineties.
• 43:35
  Speaker 6: It wasn't he wasn't doing cracking. The nineties, we weren't
• 43:39
  Speaker 6: doing heavy drugs.
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: I beg to different what you was doing then, the
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: same situations that I didn't do it. But I'm talking
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: about in the private schools. The same drug problem that
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: exists now existed then.
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: And we weren't doing it though, right, And the cool kids,
• 43:56
  Speaker 6: the cool kids now was taking lean well, I don't know,
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: and pills and e pills and all types will wilding,
• 44:04
  Speaker 6: and that's making them go even crazier. They're dying from this,
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: They're having stomach problems and everything. He wasn't doing that.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: They watching euphoria and thinking that good shit.
• 44:13
  Speaker 7: But also I think, and I hate to say this
• 44:15
  Speaker 7: is unpopular take, but I feel like our desire to
• 44:19
  Speaker 7: put our kids in these so called better situations and
• 44:22
  Speaker 7: exposing them to white kids who have more privilege to
• 44:24
  Speaker 7: be able to do these things and.
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: Get help and rehabilitation, and.
• 44:27
  Speaker 7: Their parents are going to spend the hundreds of thousands
• 44:29
  Speaker 7: of dollars to make sure that they still get into
• 44:31
  Speaker 7: the Vanderbilts in the places we are so focused on,
• 44:34
  Speaker 7: like well, my baby going to so and so, I'm
• 44:36
  Speaker 7: gonna fake the thing so they can get into this
• 44:37
  Speaker 7: district and all of this thing, believing that it's a
• 44:39
  Speaker 7: better opportunity and for education, sure, but socially, the experience
• 44:44
  Speaker 7: that you have there is the experience of the white
• 44:46
  Speaker 7: kids who are crushing up pills and having these mansion
• 44:49
  Speaker 7: parties and all of those things.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: And now our.
• 44:52
  Speaker 7: Black kids are doing this stuff and bringing it back
• 44:54
  Speaker 7: to their friends to expose them to what they believe
• 44:57
  Speaker 7: is a good time. Now that that's what we've told
• 44:59
  Speaker 7: them is better because we as the parent have said,
• 45:02
  Speaker 7: oh no, my baby, and we brag about that shit
• 45:04
  Speaker 7: like on my baby go to so and so prepped
• 45:06
  Speaker 7: because da and like when you when we indoctrinate them
• 45:11
  Speaker 7: because we believe that we're giving you the best education possible,
• 45:14
  Speaker 7: we forget about the social aspect.
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm scared to death that's some of them. Private school.
• 45:18
  Speaker 7: Yeah, our kids on party like their kids party. They
• 45:20
  Speaker 7: don't think that the same things are fun, because we
• 45:22
  Speaker 7: also teach them that you can't.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: Do that shit and not get in trouble.
• 45:25
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 45:25
  Speaker 7: In fact, dumb white kids, they could do that shit,
• 45:28
  Speaker 7: and they've seen daddy bell big brother or big sister
• 45:31
  Speaker 7: out fifty thousand times.
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: And they'll still be appointed to the Justice of the
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: Supreme Court regardless of their past.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: You better believe we don't get the same grace. You
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: better believe it.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna play this one thing.
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: I have so many different places I go right now,
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: we have twenty minutes left.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Go for the go, go all right, take it down.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to go ahead and
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: take it there.
• 45:58
  Speaker 6: Bro bringing up me like that, that's tough.
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: The problem.
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: Yes, that just means that he didn't check the cards.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: It's all right, it's going into the it's going into
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: the thing.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: It's fun.
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: He just feels crazy right now.
• 46:23
  Speaker 13: If we're close friends, me and you, we're like this
• 46:25
  Speaker 13: and you're going through a really big chapter in your life.
• 46:27
  Speaker 13: I'm talking about you recently got engaged, or you're about
• 46:30
  Speaker 13: to put to birth, or oh this is a very
• 46:32
  Speaker 13: popular one. You're relocating, and I find out with the
• 46:35
  Speaker 13: rest of the world on social media. I'm going to
• 46:38
  Speaker 13: need you to go ahead and block me, and I
• 46:40
  Speaker 13: don't wants to beat my number, and I promise you
• 46:42
  Speaker 13: I'm going to do because I don't know how I
• 46:44
  Speaker 13: must have lastly misread our friendship to a point where
• 46:47
  Speaker 13: I'm foolish because, oh, my head it's telling me, is
• 46:51
  Speaker 13: I'm a witch? I'm because if I'm not a witch,
• 46:55
  Speaker 13: how is it that my homegirl is telling me about
• 46:57
  Speaker 13: her engagement with the rest of the world, Or how
• 46:59
  Speaker 13: is it that my home girl has been planning to
• 47:01
  Speaker 13: relocate to another country for the past four five months
• 47:04
  Speaker 13: and I'm seeing the tea so she.
• 47:07
  Speaker 12: Me there with the rest of the world.
• 47:08
  Speaker 13: Jesus great. So I understand the concept of evil eye.
• 47:12
  Speaker 13: I understand the concept of can't announce your goodness till
• 47:14
  Speaker 13: this happened, that I understand all of that.
• 47:16
  Speaker 12: Well, if I thought that I was your support system
• 47:18
  Speaker 12: and you're.
• 47:19
  Speaker 13: My support system and you do that to me, I
• 47:21
  Speaker 13: don't think that there's any explanation that will call it,
• 47:24
  Speaker 13: because if I was in your shoes, I would never
• 47:26
  Speaker 13: do that to you. I would never do that to
• 47:28
  Speaker 13: someone that I hold my person. I don't know how
• 47:30
  Speaker 13: people became these days.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: You're not entitled to my ship.
• 47:36
  Speaker 6: But said that sounds like a titlement right there.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: You are real. I'm I'm the queen of a rollout
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: in my life.
• 47:44
  Speaker 7: There will be a thousand and one thing's happening and
• 47:46
  Speaker 7: my mom my mama won't know that I talked to
• 47:49
  Speaker 7: my bestie every day and they're shit that I post
• 47:52
  Speaker 7: and be like, oh, okay, when you did that. I
• 47:55
  Speaker 7: get to say who knows what about me? And it
• 47:57
  Speaker 7: doesn't change anything about the way that I feel about you.
• 47:59
  Speaker 7: That's just the way I wanted to do that. And
• 48:01
  Speaker 7: I think that nobody's entitled to know every single move
• 48:04
  Speaker 7: that I make because at the end of the day,
• 48:05
  Speaker 7: I don't put nothing past nobody. I can know you
• 48:08
  Speaker 7: for twenty years, two hours, fifteen days. You could be
• 48:11
  Speaker 7: my twin. We came out at the same time. I
• 48:14
  Speaker 7: don't know that you were always going to be happy
• 48:17
  Speaker 7: for me. And it is not to always say that
• 48:18
  Speaker 7: it's a negative thing, but sometimes I got to read
• 48:21
  Speaker 7: the room. It's not the best time for me to
• 48:23
  Speaker 7: tell you I'm up when you down, cap.
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: Are you shitting me?
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: Call it you my best friend, my best friend, not
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: just some random motherfucker. And I'm not gonna tell my
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: best friend you're I'm planning on it, on marrying my
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: chick because you might not be happy.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: Why is this your best friend?
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: That's the whole point of the video.
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: The point of the video was, Yo, I must have
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: got our relationship fucked up because you see this differently
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: than I see it. If you're my best friend, if
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: this is my man, he knows I'm about to get engaged.
• 48:55
  Speaker 5: He knows shit. I went to go look at the ring, Yo, Yo,
• 48:58
  Speaker 5: what do you think is a good time to do this?
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: This nigga knows damn near every one of my moves.
• 49:02
  Speaker 5: And I don't even talk to this nigga all the time.
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: Everything before. Everybody else know it, Like I couldn't. I
• 49:07
  Speaker 5: wouldn't feel comfortable move in any other way. It don't
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: even make sense. So I get what she's saying. I
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: get what y'all saying, because the way she coming across
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: seems a little maybe delivery, Like.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: She's saying that she may not have no best friends.
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: She may think she had best friend.
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: Maybe it's her So she didn't use the word best friend,
• 49:29
  Speaker 5: she just used friends. I think she's best friend.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, and she said marriage, she said engagement.
• 49:37
  Speaker 5: Married, any major things like yeah, I can't imagine a
• 49:43
  Speaker 5: major thing happening, and I don't run it past first.
• 49:47
  Speaker 6: I mean, yeah, I think it was she was giving
• 49:54
  Speaker 6: I want to tell you, neither you.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: You feel like I hate an asshole. I think a
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: good friend. That's what you feel like.
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: I hat that she was giving hate energy to me.
• 50:03
  Speaker 5: It sounds like she's mad her friend.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: To me, there was a tone.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: How you going to put that on the net. Yeah,
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you I was. I appreciate all you
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: that is a hell of a.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: Drug man like that. That's my thing, Like just.
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: Like the pot calling the kettle black, because maybe that's
• 50:21
  Speaker 5: what the friend did. The friend wanted the attention to
• 50:24
  Speaker 5: to announce, make this big announcement, and now you're doing
• 50:27
  Speaker 5: the same ship. You're going to the internet with your grapes.
• 50:29
  Speaker 7: But me coming to the internet with a special announcement
• 50:32
  Speaker 7: that does not like it's not that's not meant to
• 50:34
  Speaker 7: hurt your.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Feelings or meant to call you in out that I
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: agree with. That's just me.
• 50:38
  Speaker 7: Saying like hey, y'all, like just so you know, like
• 50:41
  Speaker 7: this amazing job. I finally got that.
• 50:43
  Speaker 5: And that's where I was thrown off and how I
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: felt because it's not about you. This is my life
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: and this is my major thing going on. Why are
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: you making it about you?
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: And if you my best friend and you have But
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: on the.
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: Flip side, I would never do that. My friends my own,
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: my friend, you're my property. What happens to you happens
• 51:07
  Speaker 5: to me.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 51:09
  Speaker 4: You can't just be doing whatever and me not knowing
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: what the fuck going on?
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: What the fuck is we talking about?
• 51:15
  Speaker 7: But I think it's certain things that I'm like, absolutely no,
• 51:19
  Speaker 7: I get that. I'm not going through you know, chemo
• 51:22
  Speaker 7: and not talking to Jason right Like, I'm just I'm
• 51:24
  Speaker 7: not gonna do that. Like I'm not going to get
• 51:27
  Speaker 7: married and not talk to Jason.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: But he might not know the day it happened. Like
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: if that's something that I want to keep.
• 51:33
  Speaker 5: To the chest.
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: I think it's different with gods. Though, here's the thing.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: Did we talk?
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: So some things happened in the span of you was
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: living your life a little bit, I was.
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: Living my life a bit.
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: We didn't talk, but months go by. That means you
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: talk to me. We spoke.
• 51:52
  Speaker 4: We might have hung out and this major life event
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: was was coming and you did not tell me.
• 51:58
  Speaker 5: I could see me feeling.
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: And it better not be because you ain't trust me.
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: I can see you, know, you being scared of the
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: evil ee. You know, you push it out in the
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: universe and somebody start throwing that negativity towards it, even
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: if it's in their own ad. They just like you know,
• 52:14
  Speaker 4: people just hate to see people get better than them.
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: A lot of times that comes from self hate, right,
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: it's just or just not feeling inadequacy.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: I don't even think.
• 52:24
  Speaker 5: That right inadequacy, Like damn, I wish I was right.
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: And they throw this negative energy on top of your
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: ship and your shit explode.
• 52:31
  Speaker 5: You don't know what the fuck happened.
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: And it be the motherfucker right there next to you
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: that did that through a bunch of negative energy on
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: your shit.
• 52:37
  Speaker 7: But it don't always be on purpose, too, and that's
• 52:40
  Speaker 7: what people don't realize.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Like you, my homie, we we in it. Fuck with you.
• 52:45
  Speaker 7: And also it's not always the best time for me
• 52:48
  Speaker 7: to talk about being up when, as my homie.
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: You ain't going, you ain't you ain't here.
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you kind of down right now?
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: You ain't got it.
• 52:56
  Speaker 7: You thought your number was changed, but like it's one
• 52:59
  Speaker 7: of those like you don't have it. And so what
• 53:02
  Speaker 7: do I look like coming to you every week to
• 53:04
  Speaker 7: give you the update on this thing? Because that's why,
• 53:07
  Speaker 7: like as best friends.
• 53:07
  Speaker 14: When it happens, that's consideration, right, I'm being considerate because
• 53:11
  Speaker 14: otherwise what it looks like is trym coming to you
• 53:14
  Speaker 14: talking about yo, like Jay got me on the thing,
• 53:16
  Speaker 14: and Jay got me doing this.
• 53:18
  Speaker 7: The whole time your house and foreclosure they talking about
• 53:21
  Speaker 7: leaving you. The kids ain't fucking with you, and he
• 53:23
  Speaker 7: knows this, and every other day he's like, yo, but bro, now.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: Yay, want me on the thing. And I'm gonna be
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: in Europe for two months? And you like, yeah, that's
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: what's upright?
• 53:31
  Speaker 8: All right?
• 53:33
  Speaker 5: Pick all right?
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: Cool?
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: So and then REGARDSS, I could understand making a move
• 53:39
  Speaker 5: before you tell your best friend, yeah, but I can't
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: see making a move posting it to social media before
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: I tell my best friend. Like, so that's how he
• 53:50
  Speaker 5: gonna find out. You gonna find out anyway. So that's
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: where it's like a right, I can understand some things.
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: You keep tight, you know what I mean? May not
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: win and tell anybody, right, but yeah, not social media first.
• 54:03
  Speaker 6: That's where it's like, yeah, I feel a little away
• 54:07
  Speaker 6: to that bit. If somebody put them on social media
• 54:09
  Speaker 6: that was like huge in their life without telling me.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: If we like that, I speak to you every day. Bro,
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: gonna do that. But I wouldn't make a big deal
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: out of it to go and make a video. I
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: wouldn't take it that far.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Especially with that tone like that, don't feel like you love?
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: The energy was energy. She was in West Indian or African, you.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: Know, like like that's the they.
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: Talk aggressive, really good a really good move. Yeah, she
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: just sounded like that. You know what I'm saying.
• 54:42
  Speaker 12: I don't know.
• 54:43
  Speaker 7: My husband has a saying where he's like, my phone
• 54:45
  Speaker 7: got to eat first. Yeah, someone there's like a major
• 54:50
  Speaker 7: thing in my life. His phone got to eat first.
• 54:55
  Speaker 7: So run to the Graham like we run to the
• 54:58
  Speaker 7: grand like the Graham eight.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: Bad before I got it.
• 55:02
  Speaker 7: So like his whole thing is when the good things
• 55:04
  Speaker 7: are happening to you, when the meeting goes well, when
• 55:06
  Speaker 7: the job interview slaps, when when the podcast goes well,
• 55:10
  Speaker 7: you had a great time, my phone got to eat first.
• 55:13
  Speaker 5: I think you're talking about nudes.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: That's who.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: Let me see that ship first before you post that.
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: Don't tell me some ship you posted and then you said.
• 55:23
  Speaker 6: It to me like, no, send it to me the
• 55:25
  Speaker 6: world say this before your boy.
• 55:28
  Speaker 5: Then you go do what I don't even want it.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: You want to know that your boy go.
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: To see it at the same time, at the same
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: time the world.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: Me and Towler get the same rollout.
• 55:38
  Speaker 5: Cool? Why why why you use me?
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: Well, that's that's how I feel.
• 55:45
  Speaker 7: What are you seeing from the from the conversation about
• 55:48
  Speaker 7: the kids that she posted that this is what she
• 55:50
  Speaker 7: found her like a cousin, like a student gave her
• 55:52
  Speaker 7: cousin or something.
• 55:54
  Speaker 6: No, that's that's a condom, drugs, zins.
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, these kids are wiling.
• 56:08
  Speaker 5: Okay, let me see this is interesting.
• 56:13
  Speaker 15: I'm not a give me space type of girl when
• 56:15
  Speaker 15: I'm upset with my person.
• 56:17
  Speaker 12: Like I know, there.
• 56:19
  Speaker 15: Are some women who probably want a little space, I'm
• 56:22
  Speaker 15: not one of them. You want to see my.
• 56:24
  Speaker 12: Attitude go from a five to a thousand.
• 56:28
  Speaker 15: Try to give me some space when I'm at at you.
• 56:29
  Speaker 15: Oh I thought you needed space, No, I needed.
• 56:32
  Speaker 12: You to act like you give a fuck. Actually want
• 56:34
  Speaker 12: you up my ass?
• 56:36
  Speaker 15: I want you trying to live in my skin. I
• 56:38
  Speaker 15: want you trying to give me all five love languages
• 56:41
  Speaker 15: at the same damn time. If why would I want distance?
• 56:44
  Speaker 15: I'm upset. I need to feel the love. If anything,
• 56:47
  Speaker 15: space is just gonna make me feel like you hate me?
• 56:51
  Speaker 12: Do you hate me?
• 56:51
  Speaker 15: Because if you hate me, you could just say that.
• 56:53
  Speaker 15: I need the words of affirmation.
• 56:55
  Speaker 10: I need the reassurance.
• 56:56
  Speaker 12: I need the closeness. I don't need distance.
• 56:59
  Speaker 15: I don't need that just makes me feel even more
• 57:02
  Speaker 15: emotionally disconnected. I don't know nobody else, but don't give
• 57:06
  Speaker 15: me no space. When you think I'm mad at you,
• 57:08
  Speaker 15: I need you to lie in.
• 57:10
  Speaker 10: And lean it.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: You the type of weird bitch that will make a
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: nigga have a heart attack because like what that stress? Yes,
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: like that know?
• 57:24
  Speaker 7: Because when I say leave me the fuck alone, I
• 57:26
  Speaker 7: mean that like I need a minute, get the fuck
• 57:28
  Speaker 7: out of my fad, like I need a minute.
• 57:31
  Speaker 5: So how long is too long?
• 57:33
  Speaker 7: I think anything past the next day is too long?
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: Four hours, twenty four hours doing your shit, talk to
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: your friends. You do it because we're still in this.
• 57:46
  Speaker 7: When I say twenty four hours, I mean twenty four
• 57:48
  Speaker 7: hours to discuss the issue, not twenty four hours to
• 57:53
  Speaker 7: be in space and to navigate, because some people literally,
• 57:56
  Speaker 7: like I think what she's talking about is the niggas
• 57:57
  Speaker 7: that go cold turkey because you said, oh, I ain't
• 57:59
  Speaker 7: feel the right now, and then he just acts like
• 58:01
  Speaker 7: you don't exist until you say something. I don't mean that,
• 58:04
  Speaker 7: but I think, like, don't bring this issue up that
• 58:07
  Speaker 7: I've just told you that I need space for like
• 58:10
  Speaker 7: in twenty minutes, nigga, I'm still mad, and I think also,
• 58:15
  Speaker 7: but my we communicate in my house, so I'm like,
• 58:19
  Speaker 7: there's a thing like we do.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: We do a check in, we do tools. Two hours.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: You good?
• 58:26
  Speaker 7: Can we talk now? I need I need a minute?
• 58:28
  Speaker 7: Another two hours we come back.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: Are you good? Can we talk?
• 58:31
  Speaker 7: I can talk, but I only want to talk about
• 58:33
  Speaker 7: this part of the space because this is what I've
• 58:35
  Speaker 7: been dealing with right now, we come back. If we
• 58:37
  Speaker 7: can't get through it before we go to sleep, we
• 58:40
  Speaker 7: set a time for the next day to have the
• 58:42
  Speaker 7: full discussion. That way everybody can come with their mind
• 58:46
  Speaker 7: on what they were discussing.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: But the idea of you sitting up under.
• 58:50
  Speaker 7: Me bothering me after I've told you I'm not there
• 58:54
  Speaker 7: yet just get it's gonna get you cuss the fuck out,
• 58:56
  Speaker 7: that's what we're talking about.
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: You just you're just pumping more in it. I don't
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: give for what you're doing.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: I need to get away from you right now. Everything
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: you're doing is gonna irritate me. It's just gonna make
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: me overprocessed. I'm just gonna keep reliving this year you
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: and it almost feels like you're antagonizing.
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yo, right now I'm in my space.
• 59:20
  Speaker 4: All this acting like it doesn't bother you, It doesn't
• 59:23
  Speaker 4: concern you. You know, Oh, come cuddle with me. Did
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: you not know how mad I wasn't that? Did you
• 59:30
  Speaker 4: not know how irritated I was by that? Why are
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: you doing all this? You're trying to play games.
• 59:35
  Speaker 5: You know, when you're mad, your IQ level goes down,
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: so that means you're not articulating the same Yeah, so,
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: and your emotions are taken over. It's okay to calm down,
• 59:45
  Speaker 5: understand process went what went wrong, and then be able
• 59:48
  Speaker 5: to articulate your emotions in the heat of the moment.
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: I can't articulate how I'm feeling well, and neither can she.
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: Most times, like you're just yelling, so one thing I
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: will say is everybody's different because I only need like
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: an hour. Give me a half hour an hour to
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 5: just get in my thoughts and I'm coming back. I'm ready.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: Damn.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: Some people need twenty four hours. I think anything more than.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: Hours while we're going.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 9: You need a week, yes, depending on what happened, and
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 9: I might need a week or two.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: I might need two weeks. He's a why do you
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: think you need that much time?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 9: Because it really depends on what's happening. But sometimes I
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 9: need them. I need that time because I'm, like I said,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 9: I'm off a little bit, so I'll be needing to
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 9: process my being. Honest, I need to process my own
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 9: thoughts because sometimes it's like, oh, you know what, I
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 9: was bugging out, So this portion of it I was
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 9: tripping out on, but this right here I was good on.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 9: And I'm not always able to see that in the
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 9: first couple of days because I'm still thinking with the
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 9: with that first part of it, right, I haven't been
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 9: able to fully digest everything. And sometimes I be busy,
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 9: so I don't actually get the time to process what
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 9: I really think or feel about something for days or weeks.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: That's that's crazy. Not really.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 4: I think I understand why you're saying it's crazy because
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 4: it takes that long. But I definitely understand what it
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 4: how angry I be in the moment, and how i'd
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 4: be ready to like fucking drop the damn sledgehammer on
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 4: this ship, this whole ship.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: And then I get a couple of hours.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, why was I going superhrd with this?
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 4: We could talk, I'd be like, Yo, you know, it
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: ain't that big a deal. Yo, I'm sorry. I mean
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: you feel that way. This is why I was affected
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 4: by it. And I realized that you probably didn't even
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 4: mean it that way. You might have been thinking, but
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 4: in the moment, how the fuck you ain't no, you ain't.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 9: No exactly, that's my that's my that's me initially. But
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 9: after the time then the response is everything is different,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 9: the whole absorbing it is just different. So that's why
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 9: I give myself that time, so that I know that
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 9: I'm coming with the best energy I can.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: But for you to think.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: So this is coming from from Brittany, right, it's my
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 4: home girl. She's saying, I'm angry. You know, I'm bothered.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 4: You need to soak up this bothered energy. You need
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: to be around this bothered energy, even.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 3: Though I don't want to get over it, but I.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 4: Need you here to experience all of this negative energy.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: That's some sick shit.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: Heelfish, selfish.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 7: I don't like it because also I think that usually
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 7: in an argument, sometimes depending on what it is, one
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 7: of us is more upset than the other one, and
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 7: so one of us is ultimately gonna spend thirty minutes,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 7: you know whatever, and then you're gonna turn on family, God,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 7: giggle a little bit, and then you over that shit.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 7: And there are some partners, whether whether it's men or women,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 7: that are gonna be like, so you're really.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: Gonna watch fucking cartoons right now?
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 7: And it's like, yes, you're upset, and you have the
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 7: right to be upset, but I'm not gonna pretend to
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 7: be mad with you because you want this energy.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 5: Well, I could interpret that in a different way, because
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: I can see it as like you don't want to
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 5: be dismissive either of the person. I wouldn't be like,
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 5: you gotta sit in this. But if somebody come to
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 5: you with an argument, you may not feel like arguing,
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 5: like you want to hear that personnel in their emotional
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 5: state that they're currently in, and they might not be
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: in that same emotional state hours from now, and it's
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 5: not fair to dismiss how they're feeling in that moment.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 5: Give them an opportunity to express themselves and what's wrong
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 5: and what the issue is now. At some point, I
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 5: think it's okay to be like, you know what, we're
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: not getting anywhere with this conversation. I heard you. Let's
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 5: shelf this and come back to it. But you can't
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 5: be dismissive. You gotta allow that opportunity for them to
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 5: express themselves in the moment, because when you're feeling like that,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 5: you gotta say something. You gotta be heard, you know
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 5: what I mean. I think I'm lying.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: They realize you lied after you lie about If I'm
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: mad and I go in the living room and sit down,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 4: if you stay in the bedroom for like say, I
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: fall asleep on the couch or some ship and I
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: wake up and yours just sleep in the bedroom, I'm
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 4: gonna be tight.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 8: M M.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: If you didn't come in, lean on me, just on
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: some I love you. I know we had a thing,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: but like.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: You didn't even.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: You know, But she mad too.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 5: What makes you think she got it, she got the
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: strength to come over to you. This is a pretend
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 5: that I'm the madder one.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 4: Okay, this is the other pieces that you did something
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 4: that you right, and so you're talking about you just
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: giving me space.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 5: See, I don't like that ship because nothing really I
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 5: don't really get mad. So it's like, so now everything
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 5: just revolves around he takes a virgo because I can,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 5: because I can hold it together now. So it's like,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 5: and now all the relationship issues revolve around how you feel.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 5: Now now you feel you're triggered.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 4: I'm we all know, God, bless you, God, bless y'all. Yeah, man,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 4: I think one of the most healing things for me
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 4: is knowing you still love me after I caught.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 5: A bitch fit.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, you know what I mean.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 4: Me catching a bitfit, a bitch fit and you separating
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 4: yourself can make me feel more bitchy, Like I'm like,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 4: I'm just I'm pushing you away and you don't love
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: me the same, or I'm you know, I just I
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 4: can feel disconnected, like she said in.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 5: The video, when I don't really get mad. You know
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 5: what makes me mad? You getting mad at me? So
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 5: that makes that makes me mad because I'm like, why
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 5: you because I feel like sometimes an issue that I
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 5: have is people that I feel like are overly critical.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 5: So that means you're not giving me grace, You're not
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 5: giving me the benefit of the doubt. The way you're
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 5: speaking to me in the tone, and you're upset about this,
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 5: I'll hear you, but it will trigger me. So now
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 5: I'm I'm upset. So now I'm just as upset as
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 5: you are. So why do I have to get off
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 5: the bed and come console you? But now I'm upset too,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 5: just because you started it. I gotta I gotta come console.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 7: Youbody is like you ain't gonna bother me, you know
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 7: what I mean?
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 5: And maybe it is petty. It's like I try not
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: to be petty, but it's I can recognize it, Like, okay,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 5: but now I'm mad, So we can both be mad,
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 5: and let's give us both space to calm down. Let's
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 5: give us some time and we'll come back and be
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 5: all right. But I don't think it's like what say
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 5: like it's on me because you're the madder one that
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 5: it's on me to extend immediately.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 9: But I'll extend the bridge tomorrow, not right now, but trying.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 9: I do think that getting mad because somebody else is man.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 9: I hate when I tell you I hate that because
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 9: that happened to me in almost all of my relationships,
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 9: Like I would have a problem with something and I
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 9: would literally wait till there's no issue to the coast
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 9: is clear.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: I be yo, I have a problem with this.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 9: And then at the end of the conversation, I'm apologizing
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 9: for something and I'm like, Yo, how the funk?
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: How did I get? How dim I apologizing? I had
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: a problem?
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: No, because you.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: Got mad because I got mad. You got mad because
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: I've been mad for weeks.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 7: Why you're just not telling me you was mad for
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 7: weeks because we could have handled this whole weeks ago.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 9: Because I was trying to just be you know, I
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 9: was trying to be a stand up guy and not
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 9: get mad.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 5: And you know, eat, hope eat.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: Do you think this is sound like the right now?
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 7: Because I don't like that ship because if I did something,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 7: at the very least, I'm not saying that you got
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 7: to break down the whole thing, but if I did
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 7: something in the moment, communicate let me know that you
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 7: are not ready to discuss it, so when it comes up,
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 7: it is not a shock to me because what happens
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 7: also is in that moment, I'm ready to receive it
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 7: because I understand I could pull the I can pull
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 7: the point. We don't have to go back two weeks
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 7: because in the life we live and all the ship
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 7: we got going on, I don't even remember the ship
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 7: you're talking about.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: Right, So to all of these, all these conversations, these
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 4: little micro aggressions or whatever the fuck you've been doing
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 4: for the last two weeks.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 5: But problem.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 9: See, that's the thing. I also don't like people who
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 9: complain about everything. So I'm not gonna have a problem
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 9: with you every single time I feel a way about something.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 9: Like I told you, sometimes I feel a way about
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 9: something and then I'd be like, oh, I was bugging,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 9: I was bugging.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 7: I'm I'm sorry, but that's on you, babe. Like That's
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 7: the thing Like me and my husband at the beginning
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 7: of our relationship, he was very on that type of time,
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 7: and I was like, that doesn't work for me because
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 7: I want to as your wife, I want to address
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 7: your concerns.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: I want to hear what I'm doing that that bothers you.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 7: Because what I don't want is to continue to do
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 7: the thing while you're doing And because I don't even
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 7: know that there was a problem, I'm not even regulating
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 7: myself as I'm getting ready for you to come back
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 7: to me with the actual conversation. So now I've triggered
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 7: you once. Two days from then, I triggered you again
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 7: because I didn't know it was an issue. I knew
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 7: something was in the air. Because now you're acting funny
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 7: because I done did it a second time, and now
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 7: right before you're ready, you're at the end of your
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 7: process and you're just about to bring.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: It up, and I do it again. And so now
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: even the.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 7: Way that you bring it to me is different, because
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 7: now you're like, here are three instances that you've done
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 7: this thing, and I'll remember none of the movie.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: I think the issue.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 5: This is not a fair fight.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: It's not fair.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 4: I'm not even able to say, because you already got
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 4: a whole goddamn list why you ain't just stopped me
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 4: the first time, or at least have to have a
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 4: conversation about it.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 7: And now I gotta beat you mad because I feel
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 7: like you got a laundry list of shit, and I
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 7: wasn't even mad at you. But now I gotta find
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 7: some shit. And that's where that old shit come from. Like, okay,
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 7: but this is the same, like when you went out
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 7: with your boys and you let the sun beat you
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 7: home and like because.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: Now I feel like I gotta one up you. So
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: just bring the same Even if you're not ready to.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 7: Have the conversation, I think that it's important to say, hey,
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 7: you know what, babe, that thing that you did it
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 7: while we were out and that I didn't really like that.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 7: I'm not really ready to talk about it because I
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 7: don't got my thoughts together, but I just wanted you
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 7: to know, you know, there was something about that conversation.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Now here's the thing.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 7: You have to know your partner because some people are
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 7: gonna press because now you've said, hey babe, there's a
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 7: thing that I'm not ready to discuss yet, right, So
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 7: you have to also know the type of partner that
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 7: you the partner that you have. And so in saying that,
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 7: in naming that, I think the thing that works for
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 7: us because I'm that partner. I'm oppressed because I want
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 7: you to be better.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: Give me two days.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 7: Now, I have a timeline I can settle because I
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 7: know in two days when I ask again, hey, you ready,
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 7: it's very likely that we're going to have a better conversation.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 7: Because I knew your timeline, I knew round about what
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 7: this conversation was going to be about. I can come
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 7: in ready to receive, and I'm holding this incident in
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 7: my head so that I can remember as you're naming
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 7: the things that you felt went wrong.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 5: That I feel.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: I just it's not it's not even that.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 9: I just feel like it's a crazy matrix to be like, Yo,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 9: I have a problem with something and it's like, yo,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 9: well this is your fault because of something else. It's like, no,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 9: the issue is what you did today.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 9: There's nothing else like the issues you did something today
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 9: to me right now, handle that, Let's handle that. Let's
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 9: discuss that, and we can pick up whatever else you
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 9: want to pick up. But you can't morph everything in
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 9: together and be like, well, let's avoid this, let's go
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 9: to two weeks. I don't like the rollout, like no,
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 9: what are we talking about?
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: Because I had to learn this in therapy, like doing
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 5: it the wrong way. You're being deflective and defensive, and
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 5: you want to give that person an opportunity to express
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 5: whatever their gripes are. You have to digest it, understand it,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: take accountability for everything. Tahoe helped me out with this
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 5: word where sometimes a person that is on the receiving
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 5: end of being criticized, where that person can be triggered
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 5: to be mad is if that person is attacking your
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 5: character and it may not be a just thing, and
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 5: you may that is hard to hold in and sometimes
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 5: you'll naturally that'll make me mad, you know, just me.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 5: I'm speaking on me personally, right and to your point yesterday,
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: I don't like somebody that complains a lot either, So
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 5: so you know, to your point, it's like, yeah, it
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: would make sense to say something right in the moment,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 5: but you know, I just sometimes you want it, like
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 5: I don't feel like serious. I choose my battle, so
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 5: I may not everything that pisses me off. I'm not
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: gonna say anything until it's overwhelming and something has to
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 5: be said. I don't know if that's the best strategy,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 5: but that's just for me, because you know, I treat
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 5: people how the way I want to be treated in model.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 5: I don't want to complain an ass person like everything
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 5: bothers you like, then here we are.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: That's me. I can bothered.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 4: Listen, I got I got to, I have to, and
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 4: I gotta give her her flowers for this. She I
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 4: know I annoyed the funk out of her. I didn't
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 4: think about it. She be like, Bro, she do the
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 4: thing with her hand.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 3: She was like, so does she walk through the airport?
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 3: She was like this the other ding.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 5: I was like, fix your head. She's like, when I'm
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 5: with somebody that has that characteristic, I've become a little
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 5: bit more defensive and effective. Do you think that that
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 5: brings you bring that defensiveness out of her because you're
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 5: so critical.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 3: I hate it.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 5: I don't want it.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe it's fun whatever. Yeah, I would say so,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 4: because it's like, damn, do you fucking like me or not?
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 4: You got a problem with every fucking thing I do.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 4: But no, I'm just I pick at things. I think
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 4: that's the Virgo part of me. I hate I said
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 4: it out loud. I'm a Virgo rising so I notice
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 4: everything and it should be this way, this is how,
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 4: this is the best way to get the best results.
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: Why didn't you do it this way? Right? And that's
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 3: just the annoying part of virgos Yo.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 5: There's a good video that explains if anybody listening the Gatmans.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: It's this old white couple. You're familiar with them, and
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 5: they talk about having this specific incident, like having somebody
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 5: that's overly critical and somebody that's defensive in a relationship
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 5: and you have to like make donation into like a
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 5: bucket of trust or something, and and that can overcompensate
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 5: for whichever one you are. If you're too critical, you
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 5: have to balance being critical with being complementary and say
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 5: nice things and stuff like that. You can't always detract
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 5: from the bucket. You got to add to the bucket,
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean. And it's about balance. So
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 5: I think it's a great video. Like anybody else struggling
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 5: with that, which most people do, should look that up
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 5: on YouTube.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the Gutmans, they have a.
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 5: Lot, They got a book, they got all types of ships.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, check it out. Yeah. I think we ad
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 5: the fucking finish line, y'all. Now we hear Hope is
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 5: here in New York.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, not only to do harder soft and so shameless,
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 4: but she has a whole movie. Okay, oh shit, And
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 4: because she recorded with us yesterday I did.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 5: I forgot to even bring this up today.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 4: I was supposed to bring it up earlier when I
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 4: introduced you shit, But okay, we're here, hope Giselle tell
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 4: us what your movie.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 7: So the movie is called Not Your Average Girl, and
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 7: it's a long form response to what I believe people
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 7: think all trans women, but specifically black trans women, are
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 7: supposed to be. And so there's this assumption about us
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 7: going from what I call the dick sucking to success pipeline.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 7: And so there is this like, well, you ain't nothing
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 7: but this, and if you da da da da da,
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 7: and all of the examples of you know, successful trans
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 7: women that we've seen have all been this, and so
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 7: what makes y'all different? And I think that there is
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 7: a dispelling that has to happen in order for the
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 7: conversations that are necessary to also ensue. And so it's
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 7: really a walk through a bunch of different things. My
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 7: struggle with being an activist who is trans, not a transactivist,
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 7: because those are two different things, and talking about my
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 7: struggle with advocating for black people and feeling like black
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 7: people are determined to not see me because I'm trans,
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 7: my nigga.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 4: I've had her join panels and the next day I
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 4: get what happened. They figured out that you was trans
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 4: or some shit, and they just started like, Yo, she
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 4: was kicking ass the whole shit.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 3: And then I guess they went to her page.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 7: And some shit, they love me, and then they go
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 7: on my page, and because I'm very open and I
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 7: like it's a secret, they'd be like yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 7: and then they get on my page and it's like, oh,
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 7: that was a nigga like and then they go back
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 7: and they tell everybody else, you know, and it becomes like,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 7: now everything that y'all were agreeing with is snulling, boy,
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 7: because like even with this conversation like part one, oh baby,
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 7: they're gonna eat all up because how dare you have
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 7: a conversation about black woman with a nigga and how
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 7: dare you like make her feel like she was the
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 7: the right to be the authority figure on the woman's
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 7: opinion in that moment when that's the man, I'm gonna
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 7: be everything under the sun, My biceps, my shoulders, my
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 7: jaw line, all of that is gonna be up for grabs, right,
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 7: And it's not because what I said was wrong. It's
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 7: because you would rather hate me than to believe that
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 7: we can relate or that our experience is overlapped, because
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 7: you're determined to tell the world that they don't. You're
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 7: determined to tell CIS men that like, they're not the same.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 7: We don't feel the same, we don't think the same things,
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 7: we don't fuck the same niggas like you can't like that's.
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 2: An inaccurate depiction of us.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 7: The only thing that I cannot depict from the experience
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 7: of being a black woman is the idea.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: Of having a child.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 7: And there are women who have not had children yet
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 7: who also can't depict that, who also couldn't tell you
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 7: about that.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 5: And I but now I'm looking at your biceps because real,
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 5: I mean insecure about my biceps, and I'm like, damn,
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 5: you know what I meant to get back in the gym.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 4: Look, can we get a wild traum moment Instagram?
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 5: I cannot.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 7: Your whole eyes are like, but you know what, because
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 7: I thought really long and hard about whether or not
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 7: I was gonna put my jacket back on because I
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 7: hate my arms being out, mostly because I haven't I
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 7: don't do nothing but huge breast.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 5: Why would you put a because.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 7: My I think when I think about doing stuff like this,
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 7: my whole goal outside of hitting the talking points is
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 7: to minimize the things that people are going to say
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 7: in the comments. So before the comments get posted, I'm like, Okay,
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 7: how can I wear my hair so that my jawline
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 7: looks slimmer?
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 2: How can I cover my arm so that they see
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: how can Oh?
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 7: No, it's it goes into it because when you are
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 7: used to because this ain't my platform, this ain't my audience.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 7: And while your audience is somewhat progressive depending on the topic,
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 7: they can do what they're gonna do.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 2: They're gonna do what they're gonna do.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 4: But your audience, you've had times where you posted us
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 4: me on your page and they chewed me up.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 3: But I had to understand that that's just your audience.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 5: That's used to straight men being of part at.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 7: The same way that that you are insecure about Like
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 7: I'm insecure about this.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: It's not a thing that like, yeah.
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't have said nothing if you ain't safe from no.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 7: Like, but but it's just because like I name that,
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 7: because that's what people do. And I think also it
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 7: goes because that's another reason for why I'm making the movie.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 7: So the thing about that is you can't say, oh,
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 7: you a dick sucking ass bitch.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: Fuck you.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 7: You can't say a nigga don't want you, which I'm
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 7: married and out sided that niggas want me. But then
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 7: beyond that, you can't say I'm broke, and you can't
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 7: say that my money comes from only fans because it doesn't.
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 2: You can't say I'm not intelligent.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 7: And so the last thing and the last resort that
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 7: people have is pointing out the things that make me
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 7: look masculine and the things that they feel like would
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 7: make me, you know, that set me apart obviously from
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 7: being a cis woman.
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: And so the fact that I'm sitting up here and
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 2: my shoulders.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 7: Are out and my arms are out, and my arms
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 7: are popping, and my hair is pulled back, and I'm
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 7: not trying to like cover up all the things, and
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 7: i ain't got on a face full of extra makeup.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 7: It's not doing all of that. Like I'm not trying
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 7: to hide anything from y'all. But in certain regards, based
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 7: on the conversation, that doesn't do me justice because when
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 7: people want to then disagree with me. It becomes about
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 7: my aesthetic, not about my intellect, not about what I've said,
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 7: not about how great the points were and how they landed.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 7: It's all about, well, look at him. You really think
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 7: you could trick us? Look at look at him? He
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 7: wouldn't be able to do that. They're gonna be.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 2: There's gonna be ultimately somebody in the comments who's still gonna.
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 7: Say a man in a wig you don't have locks,
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 7: because those are like the go to things that people say.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 5: I can't see the locks though.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and you can't, but it still like, but this
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 7: is not a wig. Like it's also clear that I'm not.
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 7: I don't have lace on.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 3: It's a harpy.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 5: You colored your locks? Yes, Oh I couldn't tell.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's good. It looks good.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 4: Thank you, miss ger. You keep misgenering yourself. What do
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 4: you mean you like him?
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 3: Look at him?
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 5: Looking?
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 7: Because about I talk because my thing is I don't
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 7: believe in sugarcoating the things.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna talk to you.
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 7: How y'all talk to me so that even when that's
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 7: not a thing that resonates with you, you understand the
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 7: thing that I go through. If I sugarcoat everything for you.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 7: You don't realize it because you think that, oh hope,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 7: don't go through that. So I bring it to you
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 7: how the hood niggas and the bitches that agree with
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 7: that shit, how they bring it to me so that
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 7: you can understand that I'm not exempt because I might
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 7: be prettier than the average girl who just started hormones.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 7: I'm not exempt because I am married. I'm not exempt
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 7: because I have a vocabulary past that of a fifth grader.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 7: None of these things have put me in a silo
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 7: that makes me any different than any other trans person
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 7: because people have been taught to dislike us for no
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 7: other reason than because we are trans. So even when
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 7: I am making a point that you fervently agree with,
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 7: you have this pert it's just relationship with your masculinity
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 7: or your femininity, or your blackness, or your church religion
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 7: relationship that you cannot It doesn't matter how much it
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 7: hit home, you cannot say that you resonate with it
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 7: because you would rather hold onto your connection to the
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 7: toxicity of whatever that thing is than to say I
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 7: agree with their training. And I think when it comes
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 7: down to cists women, it's even tougher because some of
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 7: them feel like agreeing with me also enables the behavior,
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 7: because also that's what some of these mente y'all over
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 7: here enabling this shit to see the reason why y'all
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 7: are being replaced by them is because y'all allow them
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 7: to exist in your space.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 2: And what a lot of them don't realize that that
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 2: nigga dismissed on himself.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 7: How does he know that y'all are being replaced if
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 7: he's not one of the people that are seeking to
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 7: replace you with me?
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 5: How does he.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 7: Know that the men are choosing to be with the
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 7: girls and the dolls if he has not had an
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 7: amazing experience with the doll that made him go.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: Might just come over here.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 7: And so now you over here defending this man based
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 7: off of a rhetoric that he's fed you, not knowing
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 7: that he's setting you up for your own demise. He
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 7: only wants us to hate each other because he wants
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 7: to fuck me and you in peace. And if we
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 7: become friends, he can't do that because when women sit down,
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 7: transits or otherwise.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: We talk and niggas come up, and if we.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 7: Fucking the same nigga, and he hasn't convinced you to
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 7: hate me and me to hate you.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 2: Then guess what. Now we know that John John fucking
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: both of us and he in trouble.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 5: That's tough, that's crazy. Listen, you were cooking and everything
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 5: that you said needed to be said. But I apologize
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 5: if I derailed your thoughts because you were explaining your
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 5: movie and you went off on a necessary tangent because
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 5: everything you said was dope. But I want you to
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 5: finish explaining the movie.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 7: But yeah, so it walks you through a good six
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 7: year period of my life. Because of the work and
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 7: the advocacy work that I do, I don't think that
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 7: people realize or recognize that there's a there's a person
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 7: behind the brand that is holed Gazelle, And I think
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 7: that folks feel like they see me and they're like, Oh,
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 7: she's so passionate, she's doing it. She's always moving, she's
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 7: always shaking, she's always elevating. But it's like, I'm not
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 7: a machine. I am a person with feelings and stuff
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 7: going on. And I had to lead a national march
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 7: while going on chemo. My hair fell out the week
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 7: before my wedding. My husband comes home and he's like, oh, babe,
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 7: I like the way that you parted your hair, and
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 7: I'm like, what do you mean? And I feel back
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 7: there and he doesn't realize that that's a bald spot.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 7: And I look in the living room and there are
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 7: locks on the floor from when I just got out
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 7: of the shower to open the door for him, that
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 7: fell out on my way back to the bathroom, and
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 7: it's like, these are things that happen, and people are
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 7: like people just believe, like, oh, it's just a switch
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 7: of hoope just switches up, because that's what she does know,
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 7: Like my hair was falling out because I'm on radiation
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 7: feels and sitting in these people's office. But I can't
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 7: talk about that because I still got to leave this
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 7: march because that's what's expected of me, and that's.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: What I signed up for and that's what I love
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 7: But at the expense of myself if I'm doing this,
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 7: And so it's also like a fuck you to the
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 7: people that sit back and say, well, Hope, don't do nothing.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 2: She always mad, She always yelling at us and screaming.
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 7: But why because the girls are dying, We're being murdered
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 7: in the streets and nobody gives a fuck because it's like, oh, well,
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 7: you a trans and so it's very likely that you
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 7: tricked him. Can we please let go of that narrative.
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 7: Ain't nobody tricking nobody? These niggas is knowing and going.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 7: Nobody's being tricked. So let's talk about it all, and
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 7: let's also talk about it all from a lens that
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 7: you cannot refute. I hate to say it because it's
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 7: no t no shade to any of the girls, but
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 7: how many interviews have you seen of trans women where
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 7: they look like the worst version or they're emulating the
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 7: worst version of what a SIS woman is, and it's
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 7: ten times worse because you know she trans, and it's.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 2: Like, of all the shit that you could have chosen
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 2: to be, you pig this version.
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 7: Because I think that that's the thing that's a choice,
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 7: your trans This is a thing that you accept about
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 7: yourself one way or the other. Maybe you don't, maybe
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 7: you do, but the type of woman that you become
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 7: or the type of woman that you choose to emulate,
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 7: is a choice. So I understand why people get upset
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 7: when it's like, Okay, but you chose to do this
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 7: all over again, and you wanted to be a sexy
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 7: red type bitch. You couldn't pick a Michelle Obama type bitch, Like,
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 7: why would you choose to be a sexy red type
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 7: bitch of all? But is a caricature that I think
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 7: comes from a space of comedy. I think when we
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 7: because trans women are not transitioning for the sake of comedy.
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 7: A lot of the girls are transitioning to be like
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 7: the women that they emulate. I will never forget when
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 7: I was in high school. I'm sorry talk because I
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 7: don't get to up it up, but go ahead. I
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 7: was in high school, and this is before transition, before
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 7: I even thought about transition. I've always been a very
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 7: effeminate person. And I had a pe coach who told me,
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 7: He's like, you know what I like about you? And
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 7: I don't mean no harm by this, but he was like,
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 7: when I see gay guys who are feminine, like, I
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 7: feel like they always like trying to be the worst
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 7: version of the girl. Like if they always the ghetto girl,
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 7: they always the loud girl, they always the you know,
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 7: the type of girl that like even the girl don't
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 7: want to be, like she don't even really want to
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 7: be that she understands the stigma behind that, and then
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 7: I see gay men emulate that, and I'm like, what
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 7: the fuck like of all the things you could emulate,
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 7: like that's what.
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 2: You chose, And he was like, I appreciate that.
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 7: Like when I look at you, the type of gay
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 7: boy that I see, I can imagine the type of
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 7: women that you are emulating and the type of women
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 7: that you And it's not this negative version or this
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 7: like a version. And it's not to say that there's
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 7: anything wrong with that, because we need a both, and
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 7: I need bitches on the table to work and just
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 7: as much as I need bitches in the classrooms doing
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 7: the work.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 2: We need both of those things.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 7: But I think when it comes to trans women, the
• 1:28:39
  Speaker 7: only version of us that the public really wants to
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 7: see is the version that they can poke holes in.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 7: I make it hard for you to poke a hole
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 7: in me because I don't fit the bill of all
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 7: of the other things that you have to say outside
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 7: of my height, for real, and because some women don't
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 7: care about the muscles like some women. I've been complimented
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 7: on my body like a thousand and one time. That's
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 7: a me thing, right, but outside of my height, and
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 7: even then, like some people just don't care.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 2: When I'm sitting next to other black women.
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 7: You can't just walk in the room and be like, oh,
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 7: that one and that like all of those things bothers
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 7: some people because it takes away your power to be
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 7: able to villainize me.
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 2: Immediately.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 7: When doctor Umar got on his rant about me, one
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 7: of the things that he says is if I had
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 7: known that I was on a panel with a surgically
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 7: altered mail, maybe my conversation would have been different. And
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 7: that is code for if I would have known you
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 7: were trans, I would have treated you the way that
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 7: I treat trans people when I know that they're trans.
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 7: You wanted the option to disrespect me, and when you
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 7: take that away from them because you're not the stereotype,
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 7: you don't fit the mold. You're not doing all of
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 7: these things that they expect trans women to do, and
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 7: you don't you're fortunate enough to not look enough of
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 7: it in the face that they can't clock it from
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 7: that space. It comes a frustration because y'all are supposed
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 7: to be built this way. I'm not supposed to have
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 7: a respect for what you're saying. I'm supposed to think
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 7: that you're remotely attractive. I'm not supposed to I'm not
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 7: supposed to give a fuck about anything that comes out.
• 1:30:13
  Speaker 5: That he might be mad just because he's he was
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 5: attracted to you and he felt and then he found
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 5: out and then he was.
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 7: Like, but you called me a beautiful black queen, and
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 7: you did so publicly, and it's recorded and you can't
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 7: take it back. But beyond that, I think that in
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 7: the debate, I was one of the very few women
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 7: that doctor Umar has ever been like. It wasn't a concession,
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 7: but it was definitely like a.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 3: Call you that, oh.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he caught me a surgically altered black man.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 6: Beautiful black queen initially, then when he found out, he
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 6: was upset about it.
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 2: That's it was. It was very it was it was
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 2: all of that.
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 5: Autobiography is a nonfictioniction.
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 7: No, it's it's definitely it's a it's a biography. It's
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 7: like a little bit of an autobiography. But I think
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 7: that it walks us to a bunch of different things
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 7: that I think folks assume about what happens behind closed doors.
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 5: Does somebody play you in the movie or no, it's me.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 2: No, you get you get to see me. We walk
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 2: through the surgery. We walk through.
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 7: We walk through my marriage, we walked through my activism,
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 7: we walk through you know, the trials and tribulations, because
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 7: life ain't always a crystal stare.
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 2: We just walk through it all.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 5: Does it feel more like a documentary or story or
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 5: tire too?
• 1:31:25
  Speaker 4: Like a trailer makes you want to watch the ship?
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 4: It's like, Yo, the ship is deep. I would imagine
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 4: that it's it pulls at your heartstrings because you show
• 1:31:36
  Speaker 4: a lot of vulnerability in it, and the moment up
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 4: until you going through the surgery, all of that's in there.
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 7: Yeah, everything is in there because I think also there's
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 7: a lot of misconceptions about the surgery. There's a lot
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 7: of things that people think or whatever about the surgery.
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 7: And also I think that so many people feel like
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 7: they is just like this thing, like they don't the
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 7: way that you feel when you like I think that
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 7: like people have more respect for a BBL because they
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 7: understand the euphoria that comes with like the like, oh
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 7: she's gonna be able to you know, put on the
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 7: clothes that she likes to wear and give you.
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 4: Some people, I think people that know you, or people
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 4: that have trans friends, or maybe even a LGBT friends,
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 4: I can't even say that because there's a lot of
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 4: hate towards But if you have, like you know what
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 4: that means, Yeah, you're doing well.
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 7: I think I don't know. I think some people just
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 7: believe that we get it for this, because again, the
• 1:32:37
  Speaker 7: assumption is that we are out to trick niggas, that
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 7: everything that a trans woman does is for the sake
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 7: of tricking a man. And so I think that some
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 7: people believe that we only get the surgery so that
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 7: we can further trick men and and and and not
• 1:32:50
  Speaker 7: have to tell them that we are trans. So it's like, y'all,
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 7: are you only doing that because you don't want to
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 7: have to say what you are? You're only doing this
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 7: because you don't want to have to say what you are.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 7: These niggas still gonna choot on me, whether I gotta
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 7: pussy or not. They still gonna act, they gonna run.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 7: Niggas is gonna nig no matter what I do to myself,
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 7: whether I'm the baddest bitch on the on the block
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 7: or whether I'm the ugliest motherfucking cut a bug in
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 7: the bush.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 5: Who else?
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 3: Like men? You, yes, damn?
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 7: Because I think that in the grand scheme of things,
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 7: men are gonna men. There's nothing that there's no surgery
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 7: that a trans woman can do that is going to
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 7: make a man not man. And in fact, what I
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 7: need a lot of women to understand is there are
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 7: very few men who actually give a fuck about us,
• 1:33:42
  Speaker 7: even the ones that are willing to be seen, because
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 7: their fallback is always going to be, oh, you think
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 7: you deserve that, You not even a real There are
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 7: very few men that when they say I see you
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 7: as a woman, you are a woman.
• 1:33:59
  Speaker 2: That is the way.
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 7: That's the way that in my mind, that's what it is,
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 7: and that's how I'm gonna treat you. That mean that
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 7: some of them will say it, but you do the
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 7: wrong thing, you say the wrong thing, and the first
• 1:34:09
  Speaker 7: thing that comes up and out of the mouth. I
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 7: hate to say it, but my uncle, I've.
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 5: Never looked at you as other than how.
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 2: You I feel.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 7: And I believe that because we've had debates and moments
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 7: and you never ran straight to that.
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 5: Never don't.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 4: I don't see you in that way. I don't think
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 4: i've ever seen you before.
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 2: You will, You're in the film. In no way, you will, Yeah,
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 2: you'll see it in the film.
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 4: And I won't know that person with respect. I don't
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 4: know that person. Is that crazy to say?
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 7: I mean no, that's not crazy because it's first of all,
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 7: that person is dead.
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 2: They don't exist anymore, you know.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 7: And I think that that's important for people to recognize
• 1:34:46
  Speaker 7: and realize, like that person does not exist anymore. The
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 7: only thing that I do not give y'all is my
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 7: dead name. And it's just because I don't want and
• 1:34:55
  Speaker 7: I trust and believe. I know at some point somewhere,
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 7: some hating ass bitch from middle school is going to
• 1:34:59
  Speaker 7: be like, bitch, I know him.
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 2: He you know?
• 1:35:02
  Speaker 5: But when was so?
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 12: When did they die? In Hope was born?
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 4: But give me a real moment when it was like this.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 7: Is the day that I was like, oh, I'm trans.
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 7: I will never forget because that's not in a documentary.
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 7: But I remember I didn't know what trans was. I
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 7: was doing fake drag in college, like and it was
• 1:35:23
  Speaker 7: just to get money out of I was never interested
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 7: in jag.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 2: It wasn't my thing. But I was a dancer, and
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 2: so I went to this little rink eating club that
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 2: we had.
• 1:35:29
  Speaker 7: It was the only gay club that we had next
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 7: to the school. And so all the drag queens were
• 1:35:33
  Speaker 7: like midsier. But there was one girl, Mindy. Shout out
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 7: to Mendy. She was a dancing queen. She wasn't the
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 7: cutest girl, but that bitch dance and I was like, oh,
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 7: I could do that. So I auditioned and they was like, yeah,
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 7: you want a cast. Cool because you're a dancer. So
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 7: I wasn't really dragging, but I was dancing. And the
• 1:35:50
  Speaker 7: drag queens who worked there was like, you can't come
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 7: in here and collect tips just dancing. You got to
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 7: get into your things. One night I go to the club.
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 7: I must have got a little bit too whatever. I
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 7: didn't come out of my drag when I got home, and.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 2: So I wake up in my room. I slide over
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 2: and there's a mirror right there.
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 7: I've never felt ugly or not handsome or unattractive in
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 7: my life. That morning I felt ugly. Couldn't put my
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 7: finger on it. I thought it was maybe because I
• 1:36:19
  Speaker 7: was seeing myself all disheveled, one lash on the wig,
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 7: hanging off, like all of this weird shit. So I
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 7: was like, okay, let me shower. So I shower, I
• 1:36:26
  Speaker 7: come out of all of it. I wash my hair.
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 7: I go back to the room and I'm still feeling
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 7: this ugly feeling. So I was like, you know, I'm
• 1:36:32
  Speaker 7: taking today off. I'm gonna I had my natural curly
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 7: hair at the time, so I was like, I'm gonna
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 7: do some twistyles. I'm gonna go eat, I'm gonna order
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 7: a pizza. It's gonna be me in my room. It's
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 7: gonna be the thing. So I pull up the YouTube
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 7: and I'm looking for natural hair tutorials. If you don't
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 7: know who Janet Mak is, she's a trans woman who
• 1:36:47
  Speaker 7: has beautiful curly hair. But why the fuck is she
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 7: in my natural hair tutorial search? Because she does not
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 7: do stuff like that. But again, I feel like it
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 7: was divine intervention. The first video that I see of
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 7: her is not about.
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 2: Her being trands.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 7: She's speaking at like Harvard about some shit that was
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 7: not even transhit.
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 2: It was just like something that inspired me. I was like, Oh,
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 2: I like her.
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 7: So now I go down a rabbit hole and I'm
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 7: just watching speech out there, speech panel, out the panel,
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 7: and then finally I get to a panel where she
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 7: talks about being trans and I.
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 2: Was like, oh, that's what I am. And that day,
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 2: that moment, that minute, that person died.
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 5: College.
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 7: At this time, I'll never forget. I had a closet
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 7: full of j's, a closet like if you knew me,
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 7: growing I had all of the shit. I put all
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 7: of that shit in a bind. I said it outside
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 7: my door, and like maybe five minutes later, the boys was, hey, hey,
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 7: you know you got your ja's and shit out. I
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 7: was like, y'all can have it, take it. I didn't
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 7: want anything that made me feel mascular. I only held
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 7: on to the j's that like.
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 2: Had girly colors in them.
• 1:37:54
  Speaker 7: I only held on to things that I knew that
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 7: I could also feminize, even though they were masculine clothes.
• 1:37:59
  Speaker 7: And so time Seerra was still popping. So I kept
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 7: on my cargo short so I can wear it with
• 1:38:03
  Speaker 7: like crop tops and things like that. But like anything
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 7: that I could not finagle, I gave it away. That
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 7: day was the day that I was like, yep, that
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 7: makes sense to me. And I've never looked back.
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 4: I've never heard the story. I'm fascinated me too, and
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 4: I want to ask more. Unfortunately I really do. I'm
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 4: like restraining myself.
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 3: We do gotta go way over.
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 2: Time, man, you'll be able to ask at the show.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 2: How about that?
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 7: I will, yeah, but there's a Q and a portion
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 7: for the movie, okay.
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then we'll get into these things. Well, where
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 4: can people find you?
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 3: I mean what I want now?
• 1:38:53
  Speaker 6: You can find me conversations with real easy alongside my
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 6: whole TV.
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 3: Doing I love to do. Okay, that's peace, Hope, gizl.
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 5: Where can people find you?
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 2: Dot com?
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 3: Hope, gizl dot com.
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 4: We're doing another run of this of this movie thing
• 1:39:14
  Speaker 4: right after this because yesterday you said maybe.
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 2: Get the exclusive hero.
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 5: Mm hmm. I don't have nothing. I gotta remember the question,
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 5: but I wanna keep going, guys, what so.
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 3: He I also have things to do?
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 6: Me too good place to do?
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 3: You're waiting for me to say, go, I have things
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 3: to do.
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 2: We gotta go.
• 1:39:52
  Speaker 6: You guys got so shameless, It could be so shameless.
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 5: So the question I was gonna ask, like.
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 1: So shamous, so shameless, so so so stamous.
• 1:40:12
  Speaker 5: If you know what I'm saying,