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SMNTY Classics: The Benefits of Crying · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: One ever told you a prediction by heart radio?
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And today we're bringing back a Monday Mini which we
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: sometimes try to avoid because they're shorter, but we have.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: So much content. Yes, oh you're right, you're giving you
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: a faith. They're not always short.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: A lot of ours last thirty minutes, which is a
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: full episode.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: They're supposed to be.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: The original idea for the Monday Minnie was twelve minutes
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: or less.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: Well, to be fair, we also were like, this is
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: gonna be less research. So because it's less research, we
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: do have thought on it obviously, So yeah, it expands
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: a little bit, just a little bit.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: It can go quite a while because we do have
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: a lot of thoughts. But I thought i'd bring this
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: one back because it's one. It was your idea, Samantha,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: was about the benefits of crying, and given some of
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: the tough times we're in right now and another episode
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: we have coming out or has already come out, depending
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: on when you listen to this, I feel like a
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: lot of us baby been crying a little bit a lot. Yeah,
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: and so I thought we should bring this one back
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: about how that can be a good thing. There can
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: be some benefits to it, even if.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: It doesn't feel books.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: It's okay to cry.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: It is go on, sweet child, so please enjoy. Hey
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: this is Annie.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: And Samantha and welcome to stuff I've never told you
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: protection of I hire Radio.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Samantha. Yes, why did we cry?
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: That is a good question. That's actually what I asked
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: you last week.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Week you did, and here is a Monday Mini about it. Yeah.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: So I was like, look, I just had a day.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: I want everybody know I'm okay, but sometimes I need
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: to cry.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I got like a seven thirty pm work email
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: message saying we need to talk about cry.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: It's true because I was like, oh god, I think
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: this is the next day.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: So it's took me a whole day and a half
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: to get it together to be like, we need to.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Talk about this.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm a big proponent of me search. So here
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: we are. Here we are we are. So yeah, we're
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: talking about the science of crying and some cultural stuff,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: general overview things. So as a human being listening to this,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: you probably know vaguely at least the answer to why
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: do we cry? It's usually in response to sadness or frustration, stress, exhaustion,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: and yes, even joy. Emotional tears have higher levels of
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: stress moones like cortisols. So there are three types of
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: tears that scientists have isolated. And yes there's tears science, yes,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: but in emotional tears, they have these higher hormone levels
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: and they suspect because of that it's a way of
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: lowering your stress levels and improving your mood.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: Right, and we're going to talk a little bit about
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: some of the benefits of crying.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: But last week was kind of a rough one for me.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: I don't know if it was the book that we read,
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: which had a lot of emotional turns. So if you
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: need to read something that gives you all the fills
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: and to let it all out, whiskeys and ribbons, there
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: you go. Which we will be talking about soon. Were
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: we talking about before that?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Wow, publication schedules are messy. I think that's soon.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, we've either talked about it or we'll be
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: talking about it soon. So, but also there was this
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: dog story that I read, and then there was just
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: an overall sadness of Twitter verse which I got caught
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: up in. But man, I definitely felt it deep inside,
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: which resulted in a day of just crying, which then
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: led to why am I still struggling with the feeling
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: that this is me being weak? Which I really you know,
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: it's just the whole conversation that we've had. I know
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: there's been episodes done on it, especially when we've talked
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: about when we get angry and cry, we feel weak
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: in that.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I definitely had one of those moments of like, uh,
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: what is this?
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's a whole thing to untangle.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Is I also struggle with that feeling like, oh, this
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: is weakness. I shouldn't cry, I should be stoic. And
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: we're going to talk a bit more about that in
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: a minute. But I do think that has to do
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: at least in part with traditional stereotypical gender roles, wherein
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: men don't cry, girls do cry, you want to be
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: more like men.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So there is that, But crying can be really good
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: On top of stress relief, crying can also bring us
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: closer to people, It can help us be more creative,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: it can help us move forward. A study out of
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: the University of Florida found that after crying, almost ninety
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: percent of respondents felt better and this. I didn't know
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: about this, but I loved it. Apparently there are crying
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: events and clubs in Japan where at some of them,
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: for instance, they watched tear jerkers and cry together.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I'm guess seeing Titanics on the top of the.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, you cry it Titanic. I have a white Titanic.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's sad.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: I'll never let go Jack and she did and she did.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I definitely did that for myself.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: Look at me. I'm with the Japanese here. I will say.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: After that, I did feel a lot of relief as
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: of some of my anxiety and helplessness exited my body
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: through my tears.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: So that was a nice little moment for sure.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I find that crying really cathartic.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: And I I'm someone who my friends sort of look
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: at give me a side eye, shall we say, because
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: I do enjoy it, and they make jokes about it,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: and one of them is, so.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I love angst. I love it. I love it.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: And there's a running joke among a group of my
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: friends that have been known me for so long they
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: call me womp uh so whompa like the ice creature
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: from the Empire strikes back. So it's a pun on womp,
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: which is a term frequently used in fan fiction, And
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: of course Star Wars one of the loves of my life.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: And if I look back, I don't know why I'm
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: thinking about all my fictional crushes a lot lately.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I guess I have some time on my hands.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: They all have kind of this angsty past, so I
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: definitely can relate to.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Thinking, you know what, today, I need a good cry.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I've got my episodes of TV shows and my books
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: or my movies that I know we'll get me there.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Let's do it.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: And this whole thing made me think of Inside Out,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: which they talk about a movie that gives me to cry,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: and the moral of that story, at least the way
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I interpret it, is by crying, it's a signal to
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: other people that care about you to help you. And
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: after you do that, then you can experience a joy
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: or these other things. And I feel like that's essentially
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: what I love about angst. I like the simplified. The
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: simplification of this person is hurt. Let's comfort them, because
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of trouble asking for help. So
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: in a story like that, which Inside Out, isn't really that.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: But a lot of fan fiction I read and write
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: is this person is hurt, it's comfort them.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: That's it. That's it, right.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: Honestly, movies like This and Up which I still have
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: finished our day interest for me, I kind of sit
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: in the emotions too long.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Bambi haunted me forever.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: It haunted a lot of us. I think it's wrong.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: It's wrong. I think that as well as Land Before Time.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I was ugly crying on that nonsense And yes, look.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: I love a good ugly cry.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: And you know, when we talk about ugly cry, we're
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: talking about it snot we're talking about the faces that
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: just inexpectably looks like. It makes you look like a monster,
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: a little bit like you're making monster faces.
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: But I don't think we see it enough on TV,
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: which we should. We should.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: That's the realistic of like tragedy is when we get
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: into that whole level of like no holding back, of crying,
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: that ugliness, that translates later to that puffy red face
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: for the next entire day, so it lasts, the memories
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: of that cry last for you. I definitely haven't seen
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: it portrayed enough, and it should be Honest Life.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: So I wasn't aware of this sort of phenomenon. I mean,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: we all know what that is, but I didn't know
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: ugly cry was a thing until back when I was
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: the video producer on this show.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: We did an episode on ugly crying and the example.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: That was given a lot was Claire from Homeland.
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: Claire from Homeland, and then Claire Danes from My So
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Called Life.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Yes, so, this, interestingly is one of the main examples
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: people gave of saying why they don't like to cry
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: is not that it doesn't feel good, but they are
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: self conscious about how they look when they do, which
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I think is very sad that we.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Can't like go of that even in the throes of emotion.
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: I mean, she definitely gets all up in that emotion.
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: So did you watch My So Called Life? Have we
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: talked about this? No, I'm talking.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: Teenage angs up the wazoo.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: I don't understand that you've not seen this between Jared
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: Leto's bad boy persona, but it's just misunderstood as well
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: as the best friend who has like a drug addiction
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: a little bit, and then you have the LGBTQ character,
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: I believe LATINX character who's going through all of the
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: turmoil of their life as well, Like you just have
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: all of the angst of teenage life in one show.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: So between puberty, between emo guys, between drug addiction, between
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: LGBTQ issues. I mean that should have been right up
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: through Aliti. Honestly, it might be it may have been
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: out of your generation. Is probably my teenage generation. To
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: be fair, you're probably too young for that. You should
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: go back and watch some of those things. I wonder
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: what your thoughts would be, because it is the epitome
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: of angst.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I do like a very specific type of mixed which
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I could go into, but it would take more time
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: than we have.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: But yeah, Mclaire Danes.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: Claire Danes is kind of the character known as the
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: ugly crier as well as if you I don't know,
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: if you've alread to watch A New Girl, they talk
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: about Justin Long's character and being the ugliest crier that
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: they've ever seen, but is like comedic level of crying,
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: like he's over the top, but it's as interesting too.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I guess that's a good segue into gender differences. And
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: as we already mentioned, it is more acceptable in this
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: our Western civilization for women to cry. I was thinking
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: the quote there's no crying in baseball, and then the
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: song big Girls don't Cry, and that's sort of translating
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: into be more masculine, because that is better. Crying is weak.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: For some reason, this whole thing it made me remember
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: I used to go to Bible School when I was
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: in middle school, and the people who ran it they
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: were trying to get us to memorize Bible verses.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So it was a game of tag.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: When you got tagged, you you went into prison and
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: you couldn't get out until you recited a Bible verse
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: to the person who was running the jail. And all
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: of us, literally all of us just memorized Jesus wept,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: which is the shortest Bible verse, and so we would
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: just like barely be in the fake prison, be like
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: she swept, and.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Run back out. They were so annoyed with us. They
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: were so annoyed with us.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say, then Jesus wept because you cheated.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: No, they didn't specify that you manipulated. Nope, nope.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: And did you have the rule change?
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: But then you could do another's verses, I pray without ceasing.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: A rule of like not it has to be at
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: least forwards.
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, we're talking about the benefits.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: But according to one article from Medical News Today, it
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: is estimated women cry on average three point five times
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: a month as where men cry one point five, which
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: is an interesting number.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: I wonder how they got that.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I would imagine it was self reported. I have to
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: say in my experience in my family, like very insular
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: my family and maybe some of my close friends, I
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: feel when women cry it's usually sadness or stress, whereas
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: most of the men in my life it's been anger
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: crying out, like getting so angry. Except for my dad,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: he would cry it literally everything. He was a very
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: sentimental kind.
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: That's going to say my family, they're more. They cry
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: when they're sentimental. So when they think on memories and past,
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: that's when they cry. They don't typically get angry and cry.
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: I feel like I do that women, the female in
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: our family would do that more. But when it gets
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: sentimental talking about the old days, they're talking about past,
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: memories of loved ones.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: Gone, religion, do like all of that will make them cry.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: There are few reasons as to why people cry, but
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: the majority of the time it is due to emotional
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: reasons again which do have these higher levels of stress
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: hormones in the tears.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: And then there are benefits to crying, and with everything
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: that is happening, it's nice to hear about the benefits,
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: and some of those are. It actually is a self
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: soothing benefit that helps you relax and regulate your emotions,
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: so that's good.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it can help relieve pain that crying releases
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: octytocin and endorphins, which help to soothe pain and can
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: also enhance your mood and also can release toxins which
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: can once again release stress crime can also help you physically.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Tears can fight off bacteria with fluid called lysozyme, and
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: also improve our vision by making sure the mucous membrane
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: doesn't try out. So those are the two other reasons
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: outside of emotional tears.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Those are the two other types of tears.
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: Frequent crying can be a sign of depression. There's a
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: crying pronus scale, so there's something to look at and
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: which goes into a lot of other things. That level
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: of helplessness and continued feeling of dread or disappointment, so
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: definitely something to watch for. Constantly crying yes a sign, so.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Be aware of that.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, But if you just need a good cry, let's.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Say okay, yes, it's okay, and we want to be
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: here for you in whatever way we can to help
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: bring maybe some joy or some clarity or our sadness,
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: you know, but we want to do the best things
• 15:42
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• 15:45
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• 15:47
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• 15:50
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• 15:54
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• 15:54
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• 15:57
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• 16:02
  Speaker 2: mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always to our super producers
• 16:05
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