Latest / Voices for Voices® / You're Being Yourself Wrong | Here's Why | Episode 430

Transcript

You're Being Yourself Wrong | Here's Why | Episode 430 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hi everyone, it's Justin here with Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you so much for joining us, whether you're here in the United States or any point across this beautiful uh planet.
• 0:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We call it planet Earth.
• 0:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, thank you for joining us, whether you're watching or listening, uh over a hundred countries, over a thousand cities.
• 0:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Let's make that 300 countries, let's make that 3,000 cities, and let's help those and reach those at least 3 billion people or more.
• 0:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I know we can do it, and we can do it because uh of you.
• 0:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You can reach out to 25 your closest friends, let them know about the Voices for Voices TV show and podcast.
• 0:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We would greatly appreciate that.
• 0:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you're able to, you can donate.
• 0:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We are a 501c3 nonprofit charity.
• 0:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, you can do that at lovevoices.org.
• 1:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Lovevoices.org and lovevoices.org.
• 1:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, we take that money and we continue to spread awareness and stories and events about mental health.
• 1:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And our grand goal is to help pay for mental health services for those who are unable to pay, but they are seeking that help.
• 1:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And again, none of this is possible without you.
• 1:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So thank you for allowing me to live my uh live my dream to be able to help so many people.
• 1:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um it's it's truly remarkable.
• 1:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So just the other day we had Groundhog Day, and for those in the loop, uh, we had a little bit of mixed messages coming from uh the groundhogs, especially living here in Ohio.
• 2:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So Punks and Tawny Phil is the main attraction, the main groundhog in uh Pennsylvania, and Punx and Tawny Phil saw his shadow uh on Groundhog Day in 2026.
• 2:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So what that means is uh there will be at least six more weeks of winter.
• 2:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Now, if we turn our sights to Ohio, Ohio has a groundhog as well.
• 2:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And Ohio's groundhog is called Buckeye Chuck.
• 2:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And Buckeye Chuck uh did not see his shadow, and that predicts an early spring.
• 3:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So not six more, not six more months of winter, like Punk Sitanny Phil on Groundhog Day and Pennsylvania saw his shadow, which in theory means we're gonna have six more weeks of winter in Ohio with Buckeye Chuck uh predicts an early spring, and he did not see his shadow.
• 3:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I thought I'd throw that in there for a little bit of a little bit of trivia uh that uh we uh we've gone through the last uh last couple days.
• 4:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh now these are just a little bit a little bit like folklore and myths that uh they're not true to the T and to the eye.
• 4:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so there's percentages, and I believe the percentages are much higher for Buckeye Chuck that matches when he sees the shadow or doesn't see a shadow, and that's uh that's different in Punx Satani Phil.
• 4:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Although Punx Satani Phil in Pennsylvania is the main attraction when it comes to Groundhog Day, uh the percentages are much lower of the prediction of more winter or less winter to come.
• 5:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So a little bit of a little bit of trivia.
• 5:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So thought we throw that in here.
• 5:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's you know this time of year, and uh maybe you follow, maybe you don't.
• 5:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I know in in schools, they spend a good part of their uh at least with the younger children, they spend a good bit of their time on Groundhog Day talking about Groundhog Day, about groundhogs, uh what uh if they saw their shadows the last couple of years or not.
• 5:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, and and so we thought we would we would talk about that.
• 5:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So a little little twist.
• 5:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so on to more self-improvement.
• 6:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So the self-improvement that we're talking about here is circulation.
• 6:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So circulation helps blood flow throughout our body when there is a lack of circulation, it can cause uh you know blood clots, it could cause uh a lot of health problems, and I am reminded of a time in my life where and for for some of us this is this is a daily occurrence, that this isn't a point in time.
• 6:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh so for me wanting to appear thinner to be to be thinner, uh you know, we we look at the size of clothes and think, oh well, I wear a smaller size, that'll make me look thinner, more attractive.
• 7:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And more for the looking thinner for me many years ago, I was on this I want to call it a binge, but it was a point in time where I was seeing people around the office and they looked much more athletic and fit than I did.
• 7:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Um, a guy went through a pretty good stretch of working out in the gym and and though those kinds of things.
• 8:13
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: This was a time where I really wasn't working out a whole lot, but I also wasn't eating a whole lot, and so I was purchasing clothes that were probably at least the size too small, and that was that included shoes, pants, shirts, you got it, and what I now realize is part of the anxiety I had at that time could have been the lack of circulation, less circulation of blood throughout my body, because I I was trying to find and wear clothing that was again in some instances too small, but I wanted to have that look of again the look at me, look at me, and so I thought for self-improvement it was not only for me, but it was for others to uh to see to think about, and with hindsight being 2020, I was doing just the opposite, so my circulation was more restricted because I was purchasing and wearing pants that were too small, so cutting the circulation around the midsection, and so that just added to less circulation in my body, and so that wasn't self-improvement, so what had started as kind of like a a quest to self-improve of like, oh look, like I can wear those smaller sizes as well, and for a guy, it just totally a little, it's a little bit out there, right?
• 11:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Say, like, you're a guy, and you were doing that, it's like yes, sometimes there's less of an explanation of what we're doing, why we're doing it, and so it was negatively affecting my health in a way, not to the point that I needed to go to the ER or anything like that, which if I did, I probably would have been told that maybe you should wear more comfortable clothing and not worry about what others think or what they may not, they may not even notice it again.
• 11:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: This could all just be, you know, a mentality in my mind.
• 12:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And that self-improvement was um really the opposite.
• 12:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I've noticed over the years, the more comfortable the clothing I have on, it's one less thing that I really have to worry about when we're talking about self-improvement, about comfortability, right?
• 12:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So if we have the highest blood flow that we can have for us as an individual, that's a good thing.
• 12:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: When we have lower blood, blood flow, when we have lower blood flow, that could turn into health problems with everything we're wearing is too small.
• 13:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And the easy thing is like, well, yeah, Justin, just get a bigger size.
• 13:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, a lot of it again was in my mind and my head, and so it took a while, a good long while.
• 13:26
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And that might have been a little bit of a precursor to my mental health.
• 13:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Taking a taking a drop like a roller coaster, going down the hill, of increased anxiety.
• 13:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's kind of like the old saying, you know, keep keeping up with the Joneses or what whatever name we want to use.
• 14:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's like, well, I want to keep up with the people that are looking fit, and so that was what I thought would make part of what would make me happy, and it didn't.
• 14:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It it really didn't.
• 14:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: In fact, it made me more uncomfortable.
• 14:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Even with shoes, I was buying probably maybe a half a size smaller.
• 14:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Same same with the belts.
• 14:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Maybe half a size, a size too small.
• 14:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so when we talk about these things, this is this is one thing in a vacuum where we're looking at.
• 14:57
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But we're able to see how it can affect other areas of our our lives.
• 15:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We have anxiety, at least for me.
• 15:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I steer clear of certain things, I want to just be comfortable, and some of that may mean skipping different events, not going to have an extra anxiety in large groups.
• 15:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I don't know, I'm just throwing ideas and thoughts out there, so where we we think that we're you know keeping up with the people that we're seeing on social media, uh that's a point in time, it's not an entire life, and so with the with the clothing being too small, trying again trying to impress people that probably don't even recognize, don't even see that aspect.
• 16:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You know, if you're at the office, maybe a person or two may mention something, may think something, but for the most part, people aren't.
• 16:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It kind of goes to the whole giving a presentation, public speaking, one of the most dreaded things to do is to get up in front of people and people we don't know at that.
• 16:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And we go, oh my gosh, they're watching us, they're uh they're seeing this, they're they're hearing how many times I say um and like and so and all these I'll say filler words when in fact we think about ourselves when we're watching a presentation unless it's for a grade, uh extra credit, a topic that we like.
• 17:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I know for me, sometimes I zone out, so it may look to the presenter as if I'm watching and listening, and my mind could be so far away.
• 17:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so when we're up, when situations are flipped, and we're the ones giving the public talk, whether it's the one person or one million people, how many people are actually watching and listening?
• 18:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so I I just got used to the fact of I'm gonna do the best I can with the tools that I have.
• 18:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Am I gonna make mistakes?
• 18:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Oh yeah.
• 18:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'll make a lot of mistakes.
• 18:51
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'll make a lot of mistakes.
• 18:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But that's okay.
• 19:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because we're being ourselves.
• 19:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're being we're being I'm being Justin.
• 19:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm not acting or trying to be somebody I'm not.
• 19:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And that's where the tight fitting clothes, uh less circulation, give us a bout of anxiety, additional anxiety.
• 19:40
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So it comes down.
• 19:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Who do we want to be?
• 19:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Do we want to be ourselves?
• 19:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or do we want to be like somebody else?
• 19:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Now we may pick up traits and things we do.
• 19:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But I think God put us on this earth and why we're still here is to be ourselves.
• 20:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: He doesn't want every single person to be somebody the same.
• 20:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: He wants us to be unique.
• 20:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: He wants us to be ourselves.
• 20:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And that's the good, the bad, the ugly.
• 20:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's the pinnacle, the summit of a mountain, a valley.
• 20:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Includes all those things.
• 20:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And what do I say?
• 21:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It is okay.
• 21:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Who cares what other people think?
• 21:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If we're being ourselves, we're being authentic, we're being genuine.
• 21:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Who cares?
• 21:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Now we know that we do care what people think.
• 21:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're going back to giving that presentation.
• 21:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How many of those people are so thoroughly watching and listening to you and I give a presentation?
• 21:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I'll bet you that the number, the percentage, is much lower.
• 21:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: than what we have we have thought.
• 22:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So we might as well be ourselves, not worry about what others think and live a life of us being unique.
• 22:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Not of us impersonating or wanting to look for approval.
• 22:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I've been there.
• 22:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I've been there a lot looking for approval.
• 22:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But look at me, look at me, look at me, look what I did.
• 22:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I did this one thing.
• 22:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I did it great.
• 22:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But there's all these other things that aren't great.
• 22:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Look at me, look at me, look who you interviewed, look who we had on the show.
• 22:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I still have that that complex what whatever the the the proper terminology is of that but that's me and the more that I'm learning about myself again it's me Justin Alan Hayes I'm being myself so what I'm saying what I'm recommending is to be yourself.
• 23:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Have self-improvement that you want not what others want not what you think others want or think be comfortable be yourself.
• 24:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Be safe and you will achieve great things so until next time let's celebrate all the voices of the world until next time please be a voice for you or somebody in need.
• 24:33
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We'll see you next time or send in love your way whether you're a believer or not you can never have too many good vibes.
• 24:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We'll talk to you on the next show.
• 24:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Bye bye.