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Courage Gets Loud When You Decide To Move · Divas That Care Network

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's Divas the Care Radio.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: This is a global movement for women by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast for women who are navigating reinvention, healing, confidence, and stepping into the next version of themselves with courage and authenticity.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: Today's conversation is powerful, raw, and deeply transformational.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Joining me is Carol Metz Murray, the boss of the Naked Leadership Institute, a people possibility alchemist, intuitive leadership coach, consultant, speaker, and five-time author.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Carol's journey has taken her through trauma, anxiety, burnout, emotional exhaustion, and ultimately into discovering the authentic leader within herself.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: She is someone who truly walks her talk.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Through radical presence, deep listening, and courageous truth, Carol helps people uncover their potential and lead themselves first before leading others.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Carol has spoken internationally on the topics including naked leadership, the power of courage, and the power of decisive action, collaborating with influential leaders such as Les Brown, Eric Loffholm, and John Astroff.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Today we're diving into the theme of victory over fear, exploring courage, healing, resilience, decisive action, and the balance of feminine and masculine energy in leadership and life.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, Carol.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: I am so excited to have you here on Confidence in Bloom.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And Tina, I'm excited to be here with you on Confidence in Bloom.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And what a great time because you know, confidence is blooming and the flowers are blooming, and spring is in the, well, it's more than in the air, and summer is around the corner.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: So well, that's what they keep telling us, right?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: Here in Edmonton, it's kind of still on the fence, it doesn't know what it wants to do.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, that this time of year is usually like that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, you're right.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's in the air for sure.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yeah.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: So you've shared that your first leadership PhD began at just the age of five years old through trauma and survival.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: When you look back now, how did those early experiences shape the leader and the woman that you are right now?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Those early experiences truly, I guess, in essence, laid the foundation for who I am.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Would I have said that way back when I was five?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, that was just last year, but you know they truly did, because I mean there is nothing, nothing like uh your dad taking your hand at the age of five and saying, if you want to learn to be a farmpreneur, you've got to learn to lead.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the herd of uh horses, and here's the flock of turkeys.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, working with horses, I mean, horses work with you.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: The flock of turkeys, well, they that's even different, more so, than attempting to lead a herd of cats, and and so and that was a foundation because it really um I grew up very quickly that summer, and it also showed me the possibilities of what was there with nature, but with me, and then I took that forward day by day, going through uh through school, you know.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: There was just something that brought out the calm in me and brought out the wanting to lead not from the front, but more so to be there in support of everyone else and moving everyone else forward.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, in essence, I guess that's somewhat of a herd mentality.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I I mean, you you have enough years behind you now that you know that every experience we go through, right, it it sort of leads us into the next experience, right?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like it, you know, nothing that we do today is it's not something we bring into tomorrow.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like we learn from every experience, right?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: And it's sometimes positive and sometimes negative, but you know, when it's a negative experience, we learn what not to do right tomorrow, or at least down the road.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, absolutely.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if we are possible, if it's possible when there is a negative experience, it might not be right then, Tina, but however, down the road a little bit, if you look back at the negative experiences, there will be positives in that.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I speak from personal experience, you know, going through a relationship, a very violence-filled relationship.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it was after I was out of it, and then being able to really and truly stand kind of stand back and look at at the gifts that I had received going through that relationship and again, uh you know, about in essence leading, leading myself, you know, and I'll just it was yeah, it was mucky, but it was excuse expression, but it was more than shitty going through some of that, but yet it also helped me build my character and yeah, big time, and then as I'm you know walking the path of healing me, the day I got the question download of well, Carol, what had you step into that relationship?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and I was just like, where did that question come from?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, it really jarred me out of well, no, no, yes, you've been victimized, but you're not in victimhood here.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: What had you step into that relationship?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and what I'm curious to know.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we're this is not what the podcast is about, but I mean, obviously there was something that pulled you in, right?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not just that, you know, who that relationship was was a charmer or just said the right, there was more to it than that, right?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: There was obviously something there that you needed to have in your tool belt, right?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if we stand way back and we look at at relationships, whether it's uh you know girlfriends, whether it's boyfriends, whether it's partners, but in essence, because we are all energetic beings, there was something that with my you know, my history to that point, and his history to that point, it was the energies coming together to learn from each other, really and truly.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: And at you know, at the beginning, yes, the the attraction of you know, uh just thinking that and and feeling that this was going to be a a good relationship, and yet, you know, after the fact and looking at it, there were signs that I wasn't aware of.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: But in essence, it's on relationships, and I don't care who it is in relationships, we come together as the energetic beings that we are to learn from each other, and sometimes the learning, just you know, walking hand in hand works really well, and sometimes it's a little bit explosive, right?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah, and sometimes a whole lot explosive, right?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: And in your case, I mean you and I spoke before about that relationship, and yeah, that was a whole lot explosive, right?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah, yeah.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Now you I've heard you speak too about the 20 seconds of insane courage.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, for someone listening today who feels stuck in fear and self-doubt and emotional exhaustion, what does decisive action really look like in real life?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that 20 seconds of insane courage in in real life, if I you know go back to that to that 20 seconds, it was like, Carol, you need to make a decision now.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like there isn't time to go, oh, what about this, what about that, blah blah blah.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's your life is flashing before your eyes.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Either you make a decision or it's going to continue flashing and sliding away.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so that decisive action, Tina, was like a split-second movie picture rolling in front of me, and with me being, of course, the main the main actress and seeing where I was and what I had in essence done with my life to my life, and I was going down a dark rabbit hole if I didn't make a decision.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, in essence, it was Carol, now make it and you need to shift your life.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I can't even honestly, I can't even imagine.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there's lots of stories that you hear and you say, Oh, I could, I could see like how I would react in that situation.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, there's when we're talking relationships, we really don't know unless we're in, because even you being in those shoes at that moment, you didn't know what to do, what you were feeling.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: So nobody looking in can really know what you went through.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, they they can't, and you know, no one else can, and it's the same as I I can't step into situations you're in the midst of, and no, I may understand or attempt to understand, but it's each individual experience, and that is so unique to each each individual.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the other part of that, Tina, really and truly, is that those 20 seconds of again of decisive um action, there was also a catalyst to that.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting if you look at the bigger picture of how you know the universe or God, whatever and however you want to refer to it, played into that.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because there I was in a mess, and I knew something was going on, and that catalyst, with the doctor saying what the doctor said to me, you know, is Carol, either you deal with this or I'll make you deal with it.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so in essence, my picture, my movie was flashing before my eyes, but the doctor, you know, my doctor had had been the was the catalyst in essence sent that sent to say that, and that was looming there.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's part and parcel too, Tina, is sometimes it's important to look around to see what messages are coming to us.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: But then again, given the circumstance, we may not recognize that those are messages coming to us.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I do know, I mean, the doctor's voice that day and that question was just like the movie reel was spinning so quickly, and it was, Carol, you need to deal with this now.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there isn't another 10 minutes, there's not another hour.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's now make the decision.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and fear, fear like really set in, right?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and I mean, obviously, your situation not all women go through, unfortunately for you, right?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: You had to live through that.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, most women, I I'll say most women, you know, we we still have the fears of all that that that can bring, right?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: Because that doesn't just bring the fear of your life.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: There's also now the fear of stepping out into the real world, right?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Out of that relationship, you know, possibly being in other relationships, but now you're you're being you're afraid of being seen, you're being heard, you're definitely being judged, right?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Good and bad in that situation.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you think women silence themselves?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why do you like, I mean, you had to reclaim your voice because I'm sure you were, you know, because of that relationship, you became that timid little carol, right?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's what happens to us.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: We hide behind ourselves, right?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: We hide behind the truth, right?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what what do you think?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, women want themselves silenced, but they want to reclaim their voice.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: I I want to hear what you think about that.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my in my experience, Tina, the the actions and the traumas that happen and uh two to us, everything is different, and everybody reacts differently.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, trauma can be registered in our brain, and trauma is also registered through it it it sits within our body in different in different places, and so often I think it's that trauma that holds us back without us even realizing, and so in essence, it it becomes the driver of who we are, and we may want to be out there boldly, and yet there's fear holding us back, and in essence, every one of us, everyone listening, you, me, the world, we all have fear inside of us because fear is there to protect us.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it it lives with us, yeah, but so is courage, and that's the part where uh fear and courage have this tug-a-war because fear is all about keeping us safe, and then we take safe as playing small, as a way of keeping us safe because we get to that place of you know, fear is saying, Well, you gotta, you know, gotta keep you safe, and nobody is protecting you on the outside, so I'll protect you, you just become invisible, and we buy into that programming as the human psyche.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's what I'm comfortable with.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and with that, like the courage, the courage should like it, it's not there to break the fear, really, right?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yes, in in one way, that's what it does, but that's not really the purpose of that courage that we feel, right?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: That courage is it's that, you know, yeah, I'm scared, you know, I don't know what the other side looks like.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, you know, all the steps that I have to take to get there, but I have to do something because if I live like this, right, if I live like this, I don't know what's gonna happen, right?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you are feared for your life, right?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: So leaving that relationship had to be just as scary as staying in that relationship, but you had to make a choice, you had to do one or the other, and they both took the same courage.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's when you what would what was, you know, what would life be if I had stayed, and what would life be if I left?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you walk that fine, fine line.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, courage in this particular case said, enough, fear, I'm stepping up, and I am going to be the one driving the bus.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: And together we're going to move through all of this, and in essence, that happens in a lot of um situations that happen for women and also for men.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like taking a breath and stopping for a moment and allowing courage to come there with you.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because, from my perspective, courage also sits within us.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's often not sought after because fear just steps right up.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then you know, it gets that place where in that decisive moment, courage steps in quickly and says, Okay, here it is, make that decision.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you get a taste of it, and it's like, oh, okay, well, if I could do it back then, why can't I do it over here in this circumstance?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it begins to be more a part of you where you're beginning to feel it more in your daily life.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, when you begin to feel the boldness of it, it's oh, well, I took that step and this happened.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: What if I take two more steps?
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and look at what else happened.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and look at my voice.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: All of a sudden you're flourishing, right?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like all of a sudden you're blooming.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so I call that the itty bitty shitty committee, right?
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: The fear is always louder than the courage, right?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: When something happens, fear is always the louder voice.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I am like I want those voices all to be at the same committee table, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: And each one has their spot.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like each one gets to have their moment where, okay, it's my turn now, right?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: So courage has the opportunity to bring us out of our comfort zone, right?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: Walk us to the at least to the edge of the comfort zone, right?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: Let us have just a small taste of what it would be.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because I mean, not every every situation is about a relationship, right?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: It could, well, I mean, it in one way it is, but it could be like you're looking for a new job, you know, you're looking, you you're thinking of moving, like leaving the country.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like that fear is it's a big hard voice, right?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: And we have to learn how to navigate that, right?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that the itty bitty shitty.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: But may I share uh just a um a quick story about courage from the uh perspective of where again, you know, you're in that itty bitty shitty committee situation where I found myself one day having been in a car accident, and uh the two airbags um broke open and hit my my chest, one through kind of through the steering wheel and the other one from the side.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember telling the paramedics, I'm fine, I'm fine, I don't need to go in the ambulance, I don't need to go to the hospital, blah blah blah.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, by the end of that day, that wasn't the case because my chest was so sore.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: And Tina, when I had gone to check on my chest.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: In the afternoon, because I went to work.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, Carol would do that, you know.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I checked my chest, and Tina, I had the most gorgeous purple breasts and chests that I the purple color was just amazing.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, by the end of the day, I took myself to the to the emergency.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, going through everything and get an x-ray so the doctor can read the x-ray and then let you know what's what's going on.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: There I am laying on this stretcher with just a sheet over me.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had had my x-ray waiting, you know.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Then I see this young doctor coming over to talk to me, and he's got this funny look on his face.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I will also admit I was in a lot of pain, but he was a good-looking doctor.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, he comes beside me and he says, Would you like the good news or the bad news?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Which did you want first?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And again, he's trying so hard not to smile.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking, what, you know, I'm laying there in pain, and what's going on?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and I could the nerves were every which way.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I look at him and I say, give me the bad news.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, Well, the bad news is that with the impact of those airbags, you have cracked the cartilage of your rib cage from the top to the bottom.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's why you are in so much pain.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then he just he he couldn't hold smile back anymore.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, Now, do you want the good news?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just, you know, just oh, I just feel how I remember just laying there.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, what are you trying to tell me here?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: I looked at him, I said, Yeah, give me the good news.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, I've got to tell you, thank goodness, you were so well in doubt, because if you weren't, your ribs would be broken.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, he burst into laughter and he looked at me and he said, I've never had to tell a woman that before.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked at him and I went, what the heck?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I had just gotten a compliment.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: I hurt like the like hell, and I burst into laughter because it was like, what a compliment.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew how purple I was, and it was a beautiful color.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: yes, there was so much fear and angst and all of that, and yet by breaking into laughter and pushing fear aside, I hurt, but you know, there was no more trauma after that, because I, in essence, shared laughter with him, and yes, it hurt for a while, and I healed.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: But when I think of that, that whole story, that whole incident, there's laughter, there's levity, there isn't a fear, it's just like, oh my gosh.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's in essence, every circumstance brings courage and fear, but it depends, you know, it's it's you get to step into which one you want to hear.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I think, I mean, like you said earlier, fear is natural, like it comes more natural because it it protects the body, right?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: But your nervous system has to be calm and relaxed so that your brain can think, right?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, I can be, I can live in my fear, or right, I can live in the fear along with courage.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: I can let the courage, even if it's just a tiny little minuscule amount, you know, it will slowly, you know, quiet down the fear voice and loud in its own voice.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I that's that's a wonderful story, right?
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, it sounds painful.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I can only imagine the pain.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, all your rib cage, ouch.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: It was painful, yes.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Ouch.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was a big out.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've had cracked ribs before, and yeah, that's painful enough.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I can't even imagine, you know, what the pain.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Now, in in our last meeting that we had, you had spoken really beautifully about um aligning feminine and masculine energies.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: What I would like for you is to explain what that balance means to you and how imbalance shows up in leadership, relationships, and even burnout, because there's lots of women right now, you know, fighting burnout, if that's a term.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, burnout, burnout is is real.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: It it does happen.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: So through through my eyes and my experience, for me, the feminine and the masculine energies are equal.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: They're different, they'll never be the same, but we are equal.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: And the feminine is you know, this creative being.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: The masculine is the kind of the protector, the the strength, and yet each energy has that internal power.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it's about aligning the energies, it's about coming together in alignment.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's you know, being able to learn to walk hand in hand, and it's not about holding hand in hand, it's walking a parallel uh path, being there as a feminine, as a masculine, supporting each other.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And how does that come in leadership?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's a new way of being, and there is no better time than than now as the feminine is being called to step into and embrace and empower the feminine energy.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I've been hearing a lot of that.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm hearing, like I don't know a lot about you know the the whole feminine, masculine energies, but what I've heard is that the feminine energies are being called on right now.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: What does that mean exactly?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, for me, what it what it really means is, and I will use the word power, but I am talking about internal power.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about power and control, because that's been in the world for a long time.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: But when we look and talk about the feminine energy, it is more about collaboration, it is more about support, it is more about empowering each other.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about power over, it's not about competition, it's about how do we work together towards a collective goal?
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's how do we bring all the different opinions together to make that work?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: So every yeah, it's not that everybody needs to have the same opinion.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: That would be rather boring, but it is about how we step we well, how do we step into that internal strength that you have, that I have?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: How do we claim it?
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: How do we reclaim it?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, through my experience of being in leadership all of, in essence, all of my career, and what has happened, and and it happened to me because I did it, was I pushed my feminine energy aside and stepped more into the masculine because I thought that's what I needed to do in order to get through a variety of different experiences that I was going in.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my body, after a while, said no more, and I burnt out.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was okay, Carol, who are you?
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: You need to figure that out and step back in to claim that authentic real you, which is the feminine, and the masculine may very well do something similar where it pushes the masculine aside and claims more feminine.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we all have the feminine and the masculine inside of us, but one, you know, for me, the feminine is the stronger energy.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: And therefore, it is really in honoring who we are, it is in essence using our voice and speaking our our truth and standing in in that strength of who you are as that woman, you know, and and it evolves over time, right?
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like everything, right?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like everything.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: We are not the same person we today as we were like last year at this time or 10, 15 years ago, right?
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like we all evolve, you know, mentally, physically, emotionally, everything, right?
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, we can't, so we have to, we I guess it's do you have like a regular practice for yourself that you sort of look at those energies and kind of go, because I know that there's um like I don't know if it's coaching or there's some kind of programs out there that is based on the feminine and masculine energies.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, different different people have have different programs in in how they work with the with the feminine, with the masculine.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: For me, uh, yes, in as a coach, and and more so, I see myself more as a say as a guide in working with with you as a client.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it really for me is yes, is tapping into your into your energy, but then it's also exploring with you is in essence, who are you?
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: What's your lineage?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: What is that ancestry that's behind you?
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because in essence, I may be coaching you, but I'm also coaching generations.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: And what you know, what is in that lineage?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just it's very interesting when you look at the different ancestries and how that creates who you are today.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, you may look at mom and you may look at dad, but there's more to you than than just that.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: And some uh coaches and healers, I mean, depending on what it is that they are called to do and be, get are more heavily into healing, you know, and working with say with Reiki or doing energy work.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I use energy work, but I through my work, it's really really keying into who you are through radical listening.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: So that is listening and watching and picking up all the different subtleties of who you are, how you say something, how your face may shift, how your eyes may shift, even your tone of voice.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just it's amazing.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the words that you use, you know, that tells me a lot about who you are and where you are, and then it's again working with you to help you shift you.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not me who does the shifting, it's you who does the shifting.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: And we do that like when in in the coaching world, we know that, right?
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the coach guides you, but you're doing the work as the client, right?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: You're doing the hard work.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: So now you so in your coaching business, you've worked with people um navigating trauma, burnout, family violence, and acute stress.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: What have you learned about resilience that people that most people just plainly misunderstand?
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: What I have learned is that people have no idea how resilient they are.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: They are amazingly resilient.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I may have shared this story with you when you and I had a conversation earlier, but I worked with a client whose history was just amazing.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was like wow.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I was a coach, I'm not a therapist, and I realized that she needed more therapy than she needed coaching, but at the very moment she was, you know, she wanted to work with me.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: On the third session, and the first two sessions, she cried.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, she sobbed.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: She just she was just like a river of tears.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I held space for her and I listened, and I, you know, just really held held her in that space.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: The third time she um sat with me, and the tears started again, and you know, this was as in essence also a download from source, and I had a question for her because as she's sobbing, the question was, When are you going to stop running?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, you may want to change out of your running shoes, because I had noticed she wore running shoes, and her response was just immediate.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: She stopped crying, she sat up, and she, you know, the anger was so palpable, I could feel it like the whole room was just filled with anger.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: And she looked at me and she said, You have no idea.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: And as you and I earlier spoke, I looked at her and I said, No, I have no idea what it is that you were going through internally.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: You have shared your history, and it is horrific.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can you know acknowledge it, I can understand.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: I do not fully know what you were going on, you know, what's going on in the inside for you.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, that may require more deeper work.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: And she looked at me and she stood up and she went to the door and she opened the door and she turned and looked at me and she said, and by the way, I always wear running shoes.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: She the door slammed behind her.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, okay, I'll either see her or I won't.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: It took two months, and I got a phone call from her.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was Carol, Carol, I need to come and talk to you.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to come and talk to you.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, Come on down.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: She arrived, she walked into my office, she sat down and a smile from ear to ear, and she said, Guess what?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: I said, What?
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: She said, I now have a new job.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: I have signed up to go back to college to up-level my skills.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have a new place to live.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: I went back to court, and I now have got back joint custody of my child.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have now signed up for psychotherapy.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I looked at her and I said, Wow, that's really great news.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Yes, thank you.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for calling me on my and she used the word bullshit.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: Said, okay.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: She said, I needed to hear that.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_00: At that moment, I certainly didn't.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was so angry.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Yeah, I knew I could tell.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: She said, but I left your office, I stormed out of your office.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: But that was enough to shake me into again a decisive moment.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's funny, like that's what us coaches are doing, right?
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're making you see what you cannot see.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: And her her final statement to me was she lifts up one of her feet and she said, By the way, I'm now wearing walking shoes.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, in essence, resilience, I mean we all have resilience in us, the same as we are all authentic beings.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but we push it away sometimes, we push it to the side because of life's programming and conditioning, and you know, thinking that we need to act like this, or we put in place behaviors and coping skills to deal with things, and then we carry those forward instead of letting them go.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: But really and truly, humans are incredibly resilient.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and I'm learning that more and more in the coaching world, right?
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: We are capable of so many, so many things into so many, like in into our future, like, you know, there's no such thing as I'm too old, right?
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: We are always, always changing, and that will not stop until we allow it to stop.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I I love your statement around uh, you know, we're too old.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's that age thing, and as I say to people, age is a number assigned by man.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, isn't that the truth?
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And really, we have a life to live, however long it may be, however short it may be.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: We are here to to be to be first, and then in essence, uh to be in service.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: How do we serve each other?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when it's you know, it may be we want to also leave a legacy, and when it's time to go, it'll be time to go.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, I I agree.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think like you know, I um so I believe in God and I believe that God has now the way I have explained it in the past is we have a number on our head, and when God picks that number, that's our time to go, right?
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: Now, I don't believe that he picks a number out of a hat, right?
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like I don't believe that, but I do believe that when he puts us here on earth, you know, he has a path for us to walk.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_02: He he guides us through it, right?
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: And that could mean forks in the road, mountains, you know, dips in the sea, all the things, right?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_02: But when we've gone to where he wants us to be, that's when he, you know, says, okay, your number's now up, right?
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's why, and I and I I don't know if it sounds morbid, but I really feel that that's why there are children dying, you know, and then there's old, old people that are over a hundred years old, right?
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's the path that he's chosen for them, right?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I know it's sad.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, I I mean, I have three kids, I would never ever want to see them suffer, right?
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't mean it in a you know, in a morbid kind of way, but I believe that really he has that path for us.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I concur.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: I really, really, truly, truly believe that.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's my my life is the life of God.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: No matter no matter what.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you're right, it could be two years, it could be 150 years.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it really is the question for us as that human having the spiritual or the spirit having the human experience is what are we doing with it?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_00: Who are we being, who are we being becoming in every moment?
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: So Carol, for the women that are listening today, um, maybe you know, if they know maybe that they're meant for more or end or they're terrified to take that next step.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_02: What would you want any woman to remember about her courage, her leadership, and trusting herself?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_00: I would want every woman listening to really, truly just take a little peek of the courage that's inside of you.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: Open the door just a little if it seems too daunting, and then take one step and get a feel for what it is within you.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because what I have learned of my journey is that it's important to embody that, to actually feel that inside of us, Tina, because as I said earlier, we are all energy, and we are energy in emotion.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what's the first letter of the word emotion?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: Energy, energy.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: So embody that, feel it, really feel it.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: And once you've taken that first step of courage with a decisive action and you feel it, then you're able to step into another step and then a bigger step and then a bolder step all the way to your brilliance.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that you women who are listening, all of you have that inside of you.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: So take it one step at a time, one bold step at a time.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, I love that so much.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Carol, thank you so much for talking with me today.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_02: This has been so awesome.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, obviously, we talked a lot about courage and fear, right?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_02: But without courage, fear, you know, without or without the fear, the courage can't be heard.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, thank you so much for that.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_02: Your story is definitely about presence, resilience, and the willingness to rise again and again.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you so much for joining me today.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Tina, for having me.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: This has been such a wonderful conversation, and I feel so blessed at being here with you.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I send my love to all of your listeners because, in essence, each and every one of them has greatness inside of it.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, just remember that.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's greatness inside of each and every one of you.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for that.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, any everyone listening, if today's episode spoke to you, I encourage you to take one small courageous step forward to the version of yourself you've been afraid to become.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: Confidence doesn't appear overnight, it blooms through the moments we choose ourselves despite the fear.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_02: You can connect with Carol and learn more about her work through the Naked Leadership Institute.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_02: And if this conversation stirred something within you, if you're navigating reinvention, rebuilding confidence, rediscovering yourself, or learning how to take aligned action in your next chapter, I'd love to support you through my coaching and community spaces as well.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for spending this time with us on Confidence in Bloom.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_02: If this episode resonated with you, be sure to subscribe, share it with someone who needs encouragement, and leave a review.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_02: Until next time, keep blooming into the woman you were always meant to be.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_01: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
• 47:51
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