Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Fear Not? Yeah right! | a conversation with author, speaker, coach Alli Worthington

Transcript

Fear Not? Yeah right! | a conversation with author, speaker, coach Alli Worthington · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:18
SPEAKER_05: Hi friends, welcome back to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
0:21
SPEAKER_05: And if you are new here, we are so glad you joined us.
0:24
SPEAKER_05: Ashley Pittman and I, Amy Wicks, are your hosts of the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
0:29
SPEAKER_05: We believe we are all on a journey to live out the call to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
0:36
SPEAKER_05: Our mission is to inspire and equip you to live an unplugged, purposeful, and intentional life.
0:41
SPEAKER_05: We hope to encourage you by sharing stories of friends, new and old alike, who are living out their calling and purpose with passion.
0:49
SPEAKER_05: Hey, and thanks to our friends from Inner the Worship Circle.
0:53
SPEAKER_05: Ben, Pasley, and Carla Adolf have been so kind to share their song, Heavenly Things.
0:58
SPEAKER_05: It's the what you're hearing in the background, from their album down here and up above.
1:03
SPEAKER_05: Be sure and follow them for their latest releases and profound thoughts at InnerTheWorship Circle.com and all things social.
1:10
SPEAKER_05: Today's guest is the full of life and very funny, Holly Worthington.
1:16
SPEAKER_05: Y'all, I sort of had a fangirl moment, and actually I've had a few lately, but when her publicist reached out to see if we had a slot for her in the podcast, I said, Yeah, are you kidding me?
1:27
SPEAKER_05: Well, don't worry.
1:28
SPEAKER_05: I played it cool, and I did have to change her schedule around a bit.
1:32
SPEAKER_05: But I'm so grateful we had the chance to speak and hear from her.
1:36
SPEAKER_05: She shares a little bit more about her story and her heart behind her newest book, Fierce Faith.
1:42
SPEAKER_05: It is such a good book.
1:44
SPEAKER_05: And I know I'm always giving you a list of books.
1:47
SPEAKER_05: This one, I think I read it in like three days and I wrote so many notes.
1:52
SPEAKER_05: She really has several practical written out steps.
1:56
SPEAKER_05: And she talks about some of her story and um how she's really walked this out.
2:01
SPEAKER_05: And I love how in our conversation she just shares how she's still working on it.
2:06
SPEAKER_05: Because I so wish I could say I have this confidence thing well in hand.
2:09
SPEAKER_05: I mean, just a month ago we had Lynn Cow share about her book about confidence and some scriptural truths about, you know, rooting our confidence in the Lord.
2:18
SPEAKER_05: And I I really felt encouraged and changed after I went through her Bible study.
2:23
SPEAKER_05: And I'm hoping I have heard from some of you that you're taking her online Bible study and part of that group now, which I hear is just so great.
2:31
SPEAKER_05: But anyway, I guess this confidence thing is just a weak area for me, or maybe the Lord does use many different stories and ways to reach us and bring us to different levels of healing.
2:42
SPEAKER_05: So I found even more revelation and help as I read through Allie's book.
2:47
SPEAKER_05: I do share some of my personal take and revelation and our conversation, as does Allie.
2:52
SPEAKER_05: And I know you'll want to listen to every minute.
2:55
SPEAKER_05: She is just super fun to talk to.
2:58
SPEAKER_05: I also have another PS this week.
3:00
SPEAKER_05: You'll notice Paula, who is our branding specialist, she's in the studio again with us during this episode.
3:07
SPEAKER_05: And I also wanted to just share really quick.
3:10
SPEAKER_05: She and another talented woman, Suze, have been working tirelessly on our new and expanded look for Simply Wholehearted.
3:18
SPEAKER_05: You know, that's like fun speak for branding, right?
3:21
SPEAKER_05: I didn't really know what it was, but I'm learning a ton.
3:24
SPEAKER_05: So be sure and follow us on our Instagram and Facebook spaces for all the new look.
3:30
SPEAKER_05: All right, so here's our conversation with Ali Worthington.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I need to know where you're from originally.
3:46
SPEAKER_03: Y'all are so professional.
3:47
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, no makeup, nothing.
3:49
SPEAKER_03: Y'all have an expensive microphone.
3:53
SPEAKER_03: It's all expensive.
3:57
SPEAKER_03: I'm so impressed.
3:59
SPEAKER_03: Like, what kind of setup do y'all have?
4:01
SPEAKER_05: This is the microphone.
4:02
SPEAKER_05: Oh, we are not our house.
4:04
SPEAKER_05: We're laughing because it's my house.
4:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and okay, this is the voice.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: This is Paula right here in the middle, but it's my voice in the door.
4:11
SPEAKER_05: Hey, Pa Paula leads our local propel chapter at our church.
4:15
SPEAKER_05: I'm like the women's leader, and she's faithful, leading an amazing tribe of women in her house every week.
4:23
SPEAKER_05: So she's incredible.
4:25
SPEAKER_05: So we invited her to come.
4:26
SPEAKER_05: And then we're talking to Carlos Whitaker after this.
4:29
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
4:29
SPEAKER_05: And um, she actually has kind of a funny story with him.
4:32
SPEAKER_05: So we're like, you need to come and talk to Ali and Carlos with us.
4:35
SPEAKER_05: So she's she might be quiet, but she's gonna be a little bit more.
4:37
SPEAKER_05: That's amazing.
4:38
SPEAKER_03: I want to hear that story.
4:39
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
4:39
SPEAKER_03: You know what?
4:40
SPEAKER_03: I realized I don't have in my office because I have two sick kids and everything's delayed.
4:45
SPEAKER_05: I don't have my earbuds in my office.
4:47
SPEAKER_05: Let me go grab that.
4:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, no problem.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: Here we go.
4:50
SPEAKER_03: Now I have my earbuds in here.
4:52
SPEAKER_05: I can hear sick kiddos.
4:54
SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry.
4:54
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I'm sure.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: At this time of year, somebody's always sick.
4:59
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we've had it for weeks.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Ashley or one kid has been like every day.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: Every Wednesday.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: Every Wednesday.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: It's always on the way.
5:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm on my way to the gym, and I get a phone call from the nurse.
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Come get your kid.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: And it's like it's Wednesday.
5:12
SPEAKER_03: Always.
5:13
SPEAKER_03: I'm just I'm so done with winter.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: I'm so done.
5:16
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and you need to air out.
5:17
SPEAKER_05: Now come on.
5:18
SPEAKER_05: You're in Nashville.
5:19
SPEAKER_05: I know what it's like.
5:19
SPEAKER_05: It's nothing like it is here.
5:20
SPEAKER_05: No, but you all have a lot of snow.
5:22
SPEAKER_03: But we're still sick all the time.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: But you've had more snow down there.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: I have some friends that live down in Franklin and they've had more snow than we have.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this year at least.
5:30
SPEAKER_03: And it's just cold.
5:31
SPEAKER_03: Like we used to live up north where it would be cold and we'd have snow, which is fine.
5:35
SPEAKER_03: It's just cold here.
5:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yes.
5:38
SPEAKER_05: And then it's not pretty and everything's brown.
5:40
SPEAKER_03: And no, I'm so done.
5:42
SPEAKER_03: Like I'm gonna have to either get a a of like sunlight light or go on.
5:48
SPEAKER_03: Sun therapy.
5:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I had a friend or still do have friends who are like, yes, I need to go tanning in the winter because it helps keep my spirits up.
5:56
SPEAKER_05: Maybe vitamin.
5:57
SPEAKER_05: Well, it makes you look good.
5:59
SPEAKER_03: It does, but but man, you're gonna have to like get a facelift when you're gonna be able to do it.
6:03
SPEAKER_03: I know.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking of someone right now, I'm thinking, wow.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's motivating to keep me out of yes things.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: We'll just keep it for the summer.
6:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
6:12
SPEAKER_05: Well, how are you doing with the book launch and all of that?
6:14
SPEAKER_05: I mean, you're a couple weeks in.
6:16
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, by the way.
6:18
SPEAKER_03: So I'm a bit of an introvert, so after launch, I know I like to just kind of hide in the corner.
6:25
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
6:26
unknown: Yeah.
6:29
SPEAKER_05: How does that really work though with your family?
6:31
SPEAKER_05: Because just knowing like when I do things like speaking and all these, you know, big engagements, and then I have to go back to my family.
6:38
SPEAKER_05: I can't always hide in the corner and suck my thumb.
6:40
SPEAKER_03: It's really, really tough.
6:42
SPEAKER_03: I mean, now the youngest is nine.
6:44
SPEAKER_05: Uh-huh.
6:45
SPEAKER_03: So if it was five years ago or eight years ago, it would be impossible.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: But you know, now when I get home, they want my attention, they want to snuggle, but they also want to play on the iPad and watch a movie and go to basketball practice.
7:00
SPEAKER_03: So we just kind of roll with it here.
7:02
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, go for it.
7:03
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
7:04
SPEAKER_03: And I think I think if I had five daughters, I might not be able to do what I think.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't think this is true.
7:10
SPEAKER_03: Boys don't need the sort of emotional support involvement that girls need.
7:15
SPEAKER_03: They just they need food and they need discipline and they need to be loved on.
7:19
SPEAKER_03: But I don't really want to talk about generally all the influence.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: I have one that does, and if all five did, I'd go crazy.
7:27
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I have uh 11 and 10-year-old girls, and so we've hit that stage, and so now it's I mean, the arguing and all of that stuff too.
7:35
SPEAKER_05: But then there's the late, you know, it's bedtime and it's nine o'clock, and I want to be asleep, and they're like, Mom, I have to talk to you about this.
7:43
SPEAKER_05: Like, really?
7:44
SPEAKER_05: Yeah now?
7:49
SPEAKER_05: I know for real.
7:50
SPEAKER_03: Yes, tell me what happened in school today.
7:52
SPEAKER_03: This is my fault.
7:54
SPEAKER_05: Because all the parenting books say that is when that is the most important moment.
7:58
SPEAKER_05: And if you don't do it, then the window may not ever open again.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: Yep, you missed the moment.
8:04
SPEAKER_05: As four guilt written.
8:05
SPEAKER_05: No pressure.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Every time the window is open, you climb through it.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's right.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: You do basically.
8:11
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so the book.
8:13
SPEAKER_05: The book is going well.
8:15
SPEAKER_05: Are you doing like well, not a formal book tour, but you're probably doing some traveling and speaking and all that and sharing this message?
8:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'll probably do a book tour with the next book, like the next big one.
8:26
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
8:27
SPEAKER_03: I just wanted to I wanted to wait until my kids got a little bit older before before I did that.
8:32
SPEAKER_03: And I don't think I'm ever, I did two books in January.
8:35
SPEAKER_03: I don't think I'm ever gonna do a book during six season again.
8:38
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
8:39
SPEAKER_03: Like I'll do spring or summer or some other time, but right no more in January.
8:43
SPEAKER_03: Like I can't do a launch while everything's falling apart.
8:46
SPEAKER_03: Like my husband got the flu the day before launch.
8:50
SPEAKER_03: I literally, you know, the book comes out on a Tuesday.
8:52
SPEAKER_03: I called my mom Tuesday morning at 5 a.m.
8:54
SPEAKER_03: and said, if I can get if I can afford a ticket for you to get here today, can you get here?
9:00
SPEAKER_03: She arrived 12 hours later.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
9:03
SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
9:04
SPEAKER_03: She's a good one.
9:05
SPEAKER_03: Luckily, I'm an only child.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: So she's not spread too thin.
9:10
SPEAKER_05: But still, that's amazing.
9:12
SPEAKER_05: And just timing on that.
9:14
SPEAKER_05: I always, yeah.
9:15
SPEAKER_05: So maybe fall.
9:16
SPEAKER_05: I mean, because you know, summer you want to enjoy with your boys, but fall, they're back at school, they won't miss you as much.
9:21
SPEAKER_05: There you go.
9:22
SPEAKER_05: All right.
9:22
SPEAKER_05: Next book.
9:23
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
9:23
SPEAKER_05: 2020, right?
9:24
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
9:25
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I guess.
9:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, gosh, I haven't even thought about it, but yeah.
9:28
SPEAKER_05: Right.
9:28
SPEAKER_05: I that is how it kind of works in that world, which is sort of sad because you know, you like not even sick of this message yet, and you gotta be thinking about the next one.
9:38
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I know.
9:38
SPEAKER_03: Somebody asked me, what was your like what were your breaking busy messages?
9:41
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Oh.
9:42
SPEAKER_05: Uh, digging digging.
9:44
SPEAKER_03: I don't remember anymore.
9:45
SPEAKER_03: Did I write that?
9:46
SPEAKER_03: Talking about fear.
9:48
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
9:49
SPEAKER_05: Well, did okay, so I I do have a bent for writing and I tend to think in titles, and I do, you know, I'm not um I try to keep my thoughts in particular about what I think I'm supposed to write on a little note card so I can pull them out easier.
10:04
SPEAKER_05: Because digging through my journals, I find that a little emotionally draining and I put it off because I don't really want to read that because then it'll like open up Pandora's box.
10:15
SPEAKER_05: But all of that to say, for you, it seemed like this book of Fierce Faith kind of started in the parking lot of Target.
10:24
SPEAKER_05: And so I want you to share that story, but then kind of maybe some of your thought process and how do you share this message?
10:29
SPEAKER_05: Probably in that moment you weren't like, I gotta share this with the world, but you know, just give us a little insight of how your brain works.
10:36
SPEAKER_03: Well, I do want to tell you that story, but here's the backstory that I don't talk about much is before breaking busy, my last book, even Launch to the World, the Lord had said fear.
10:47
SPEAKER_03: So every time I prayed about the book, he said fear.
10:50
SPEAKER_03: And I thought, well, sure, I'll go and research all the best stuff and I will help people with fear.
10:57
SPEAKER_03: But in my mind, I wasn't afraid.
10:59
SPEAKER_03: I didn't have an issue with fear, I didn't have an issue with anxiety.
11:02
SPEAKER_03: I was way too big for my britches.
11:05
SPEAKER_03: And what happened over the next year is our life just started falling apart, which leads to the Target story.
11:12
SPEAKER_03: My husband had adult onset asthma, very severe form of it.
11:16
SPEAKER_03: So every virus that the kids would bring home would turn into bronchitis and pneumonia.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: And by the time Breaking Busy launched, we were just that very week, we were just every day trying to figure out do we need to go to the emergency room?
11:31
SPEAKER_03: Are you getting enough oxygen?
11:32
SPEAKER_03: So our life essentially was really falling apart.
11:36
SPEAKER_03: But before book launch, a few months before, I was, you know, go going to school, I would take going to my kids' school, going to the Starbucks drive-thru, and of course, as one does.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
11:49
SPEAKER_03: And then I'm zooming over to Target because I know I'm going into this boring volunteer meeting.
11:53
SPEAKER_03: So I'm gonna buy myself this a pretty notebook, and you know, who knows what a Target you have to spend$75 before you leave out the door.
12:03
SPEAKER_03: But I never made it into Target because the song No Longer Slaves came on.
12:08
SPEAKER_03: It was just that time that the song had just came out, and you know, everybody that heard it was just like, whoa, yeah, what is this?
12:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I listened to it in the car and kind of then start singing and and then I start to tear up a little bit.
12:22
SPEAKER_03: And so I opened up my Spotify app and I ended up just playing it over and over and over again, weeping in my car.
12:29
SPEAKER_03: I have no idea why.
12:31
SPEAKER_03: So I don't go to the meeting and I call my friend that afternoon and I told her what happened, and she said, I know why you did that, because I had no clue.
12:41
SPEAKER_03: And I said, Well, why?
12:44
SPEAKER_03: And she said, Because you are completely weighed down by worry and fear.
12:49
SPEAKER_03: Like I watch you try to manage it, and you are living trying to make safety your God.
12:54
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
12:55
SPEAKER_03: You're worshiping a powerless God trying to trying to worship safety.
12:58
SPEAKER_03: And I wish I could say that I heard her advice and I said, Oh, that's so wise.
13:03
SPEAKER_03: You're full of wisdom.
13:04
SPEAKER_03: I guess I have a problem with wisdom.
13:08
SPEAKER_03: But I was like, no.
13:11
SPEAKER_04: True.
13:11
SPEAKER_03: No, I I like I'm managing all these kids and a family and career and work, and basically you don't know what you're talking about.
13:18
SPEAKER_05: Right.
13:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
13:19
SPEAKER_05: And a very natural response, I would say.
13:21
SPEAKER_05: Right?
13:22
SPEAKER_03: Like, it's not like I'm a mature woman.
13:24
SPEAKER_03: I was offended.
13:26
SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
13:26
SPEAKER_03: And it wasn't until about a month later when Breaking Busy came out when Mark was so sick, so so sick, that the Saturday after it launched, Christine Kane called me at 8 a.m.
13:38
SPEAKER_03: Saturday morning and said, Hey, I need to talk to you.
13:42
SPEAKER_03: And when Christine Kane calls you and says, I need to talk to you.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sit down and listen.
13:48
SPEAKER_03: And so I sat down on the end of my bed and just stared out the window with the phone to my ear.
13:53
SPEAKER_03: I'd just gotten out of the shower, my hair's still in a towel.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: And she said, With this book, you are taking territory away from the enemy.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: You have got to learn to fight.
14:04
SPEAKER_03: The enemy is coming after you, and he's coming after Mark, and he's coming after those boys, and you've lived way too long hiding out in the corner, eating Reese's peanut butter cups.
14:15
SPEAKER_03: The best run all over you.
14:17
SPEAKER_03: And I burst into tears because I hadn't talked to her all week.
14:19
SPEAKER_03: And I said, Chris, everything is so terrible.
14:22
SPEAKER_03: Everything's falling apart.
14:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't know what to do.
14:25
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry I haven't told you, but just everything's terrible.
14:28
SPEAKER_03: And she said, I know that's what I'm calling you.
14:30
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
14:31
SPEAKER_03: Sit down and listen to me.
14:32
SPEAKER_03: And she just encouraged me to fight and encouraged me when storms of life come, not let them completely take us down.
14:40
SPEAKER_03: And what I realized after that phone call and thinking about it more is bad things are gonna happen.
14:47
SPEAKER_03: Whether we're in a storm or we're heading into a storm or we're coming out of a storm, bad things are just gonna happen.
14:53
SPEAKER_03: We have to we have to ready ourselves for that and not fall apart when they happen.
14:58
SPEAKER_03: And even when bad things aren't happening, we can't live in fear of the next bad thing.
15:02
SPEAKER_03: Because that's when the enemy comes in to to depress us and distract us and to destroy us.
15:08
SPEAKER_03: We have to learn to fight back.
15:09
SPEAKER_03: But for me, at that point, I was like, well, I don't even know what it looks like to fight back.
15:15
SPEAKER_03: Like, like I my husband's sick, our lives falling apart.
15:19
SPEAKER_03: What does fighting back even look like?
15:21
SPEAKER_03: And that was that was what really motivated me to write the book to figure out what does fighting back actually look like?
15:27
SPEAKER_03: Because I had heard sermon after sermon, I've I've given talks on being brave and courageous.
15:33
SPEAKER_03: I I've heard ministers say for years, perfect love casts out fear.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: You know, we need to be faithful, we don't need to be afraid, but I had no idea how to practically do that.
15:42
SPEAKER_03: So not only was I afraid and in crisis, I was also beating myself up for it at the same time.
15:49
SPEAKER_05: Right.
15:49
SPEAKER_05: Because you're like, I should be better than this, I should have learned this by now.
15:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, do I not love Jesus enough?
15:54
SPEAKER_03: Why am I still afraid?
15:55
SPEAKER_03: That's what it is.
15:56
SPEAKER_03: And as I as I started sharing that with people, I had so many women go, Yes, that's exactly how I feel.
16:04
SPEAKER_03: So if there's one thing this book can do, you know, other than providing the battle plan for how to fight back, it's to tell Christian women, you're not afraid because you don't have enough faith.
16:16
SPEAKER_03: You're not afraid because you don't love Jesus enough.
16:18
SPEAKER_03: You're afraid because you're human.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:21
SPEAKER_03: God didn't tell us all throughout scripture that we have no reason to fear because he's angry with us.
16:28
SPEAKER_03: He tells us that because he knows that is the human condition.
16:32
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's February now, and I'm in a new Bible reading plan, like we all do, and I'm in a new Bible version.
16:38
SPEAKER_03: So I'm I'm doing CSV.
16:39
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, love that.
16:41
SPEAKER_03: And every everywhere you look, you know, every couple of chapters, somebody's messing up because they're afraid.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: To be alive is to be afraid.
16:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:50
SPEAKER_03: And God just knows it because He created us.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:53
SPEAKER_03: Like it's it's what we need to hear all the time.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Uh that's so good to normalize it.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: Because it usually it's oh, you're in sin if you're in fear, but like, well, I'm in a human body if I'm in fear, and I'll just give me the tools to get out, you know.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, what give me some tools, don't just condemn me.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: I need some tools.
17:08
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
17:09
SPEAKER_03: Life is scary.
17:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:10
SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's gonna be stuff that happens, whether it's stuff that actually happens and we have to face it.
17:15
SPEAKER_03: I mean, to be a mom is to manage fear.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: From the time they're conceived.
17:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, or or we're thinking about the the thing that's gonna happen next week or next month.
17:26
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's to be alive is to learn how to manage fear successfully.
17:30
SPEAKER_05: And I know I know men struggle with fear, but I feel like it's either talked more about among women than men, or it seems like women actually deal with this issue more than men.
17:42
SPEAKER_05: I mean, what do you think?
17:43
SPEAKER_03: Do you think that's I don't think women do.
17:45
SPEAKER_03: I think women uh talk about it.
17:47
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
17:48
SPEAKER_03: I think men don't talk about it.
17:50
SPEAKER_03: And and here's here's what research shows, which is so fascinating.
17:55
SPEAKER_03: Women will talk about it.
17:57
SPEAKER_03: Women will tend to internalize it.
17:59
SPEAKER_03: So we will get depressed, we'll get lonely, we'll pull back from relationships, and we'll almost punish ourselves when we feel afraid.
18:08
SPEAKER_03: Men externalize their fear and anxiety, so it shows up as substance abuse, okay, shows up on you know binging on TV or movies and not addressing things, and it shows up as anger.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: So women internalize it, but we talk about it.
18:22
SPEAKER_03: Or men externalize it and never talk about it.
18:25
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
18:25
SPEAKER_05: And whereas women, it does kind of eat us alive because it's boiling on the inside, it's stewing, and we're not letting it out, releasing it.
18:33
SPEAKER_03: And no one ever likes to say, Oh, I'm I'm afraid, or I'm I have fear, or I'm struggling with anxiety.
18:39
SPEAKER_03: It's very rare that people will do that.
18:41
SPEAKER_03: Men and women both will say things like, I'm so stressed.
18:44
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: I'm stressed about.
18:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:46
SPEAKER_03: And what I'm stressed about normally means is I'm afraid of something.
18:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
18:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
18:53
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and I was I I was actually reading your book and um it brought a lot of things to light for me, and it was just a time of um just specific inward reflection for me here at the beginning of the year.
19:06
SPEAKER_05: Um, but it also came at a time when a friend reached out um who was battling anxiety in a big way.
19:12
SPEAKER_05: And I think some of too is is kind of what you talked about.
19:15
SPEAKER_05: And if you want to speak to the practicals of some of this, is that we go we have this habit of doing the what ifs and going down the road of that.
19:25
SPEAKER_05: Um what are just some specific ways that we can kind of halt that?
19:29
SPEAKER_05: Because I I mean, at the root of it, it's the whole like, you know, don't worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of its own.
19:37
SPEAKER_05: Um, but what's some of the practical of I almost like, you know, halting the traffic in our brain and redirecting it?
19:45
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
19:46
SPEAKER_03: I call it how to stop the anxiety spiral because we all go into it.
19:50
SPEAKER_03: You know, you're driving down the road and you have one thought, and then all of a sudden you're a mile farther down the road and life looks like it's coming to an end.
19:59
SPEAKER_03: And you're like, how how did I get here?
20:01
SPEAKER_03: And why am I so anxious and upset?
20:03
SPEAKER_03: And the thing about an anxiety spiral is once we get into it, it's very, very difficult unless we're intentional and we have a tool to get out of it.
20:14
SPEAKER_03: And so there's three main steps.
20:16
SPEAKER_03: I love teaching this.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: I'm so glad you asked me the question.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: Because it's so powerful because it works every single time.
20:22
SPEAKER_03: So the first step, and it's super practical, is just to identify what has triggered these thoughts, what says what's triggered the anxiety spiral.
20:30
SPEAKER_03: And I like to think of triggers like a light switch in your house where you turn it on and the electricity turns everything on.
20:37
SPEAKER_03: Well, we have certain triggers that when they get flipped, we flip out.
20:41
unknown: Yeah.
20:42
SPEAKER_03: My trigger, everybody's trigger is different, and we all have our own like certain specific set of triggers.
20:48
SPEAKER_03: One trigger for me is finances.
20:50
SPEAKER_03: If we get a big bill, like if a child gets hurt and I know there's gonna be a big a big bill, more than the child getting hurt because kids get hurt all the time below Five Boys.
20:59
SPEAKER_03: I'm just like, yeah, oh my god, they're often um, so that's my trigger, and um, and so identifying triggers is really key.
21:09
SPEAKER_03: That's the first step.
21:10
SPEAKER_03: Once we can identify it, we know what set it off, we can get a little bit of control back over it.
21:16
SPEAKER_03: And this is something that I'm teaching my teenage boys like what what triggered this?
21:20
SPEAKER_03: What were you doing?
21:20
SPEAKER_03: What was the thought you were having when you first entered it?
21:23
SPEAKER_03: And then the second is to play what I call the so what game.
21:28
SPEAKER_03: And it came from when I was a teenage girl, I was about 15 years old, and my mom sent me to a counselor at church just because my mom was like, I I don't know what to do with you.
21:38
SPEAKER_03: So I was super anxious.
21:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, somebody help.
21:42
SPEAKER_03: I was super anxious all the time, and mom was so smart to send me and I would sit down on Pamela's couch, or remember her couch, and I would give her, you know, whatever situation was stressing me out.
21:53
SPEAKER_03: And I was just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
21:55
SPEAKER_03: And she said, Wait, this one thing you're talking about, this one.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: One situation, what's the worst case scenario?
22:04
SPEAKER_03: And I would think of the worst case scenario and share it with her.
22:09
SPEAKER_03: And she said, okay, say that happens.
22:13
SPEAKER_03: So what?
22:15
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, so what?
22:18
SPEAKER_03: Hey.
22:19
SPEAKER_03: The world's coming to an end.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: And she'd say, if that happens, will the world end?
22:24
SPEAKER_03: And my answer rationally was no.
22:28
SPEAKER_02: Not end.
22:30
SPEAKER_03: If that happens, will you be able to survive?
22:34
SPEAKER_02: Literally.
22:34
SPEAKER_03: Will you survive?
22:36
SPEAKER_03: And my answer was always yes, I can survive.
22:38
SPEAKER_03: If that happens, do you still know that God loves you and that you are okay?
22:48
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
22:49
SPEAKER_03: So when we when we go ahead and play out what's the worst possible scenario in this situation we're worried about, then we can step back and get some clarity.
22:57
SPEAKER_03: And we get quite clarity by asking ourselves three questions.
23:01
SPEAKER_03: The first is, is this a rational fear?
23:05
SPEAKER_03: Like, is this actually going to happen?
23:08
SPEAKER_03: Can it happen?
23:09
SPEAKER_03: Most of the time, no, it's not.
23:11
SPEAKER_03: But every once in a while you'll find something where you're afraid of it, you know you can survive it.
23:16
SPEAKER_03: And yeah, it's rational.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: It's rational.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: So if it's rational, you then you ask yourself, is this fear likely?
23:24
SPEAKER_03: And most of the time, again, it's not likely to happen.
23:28
SPEAKER_03: But every once in a while you'll find something where it's rational to be afraid of it, and it is likely to happen.
23:34
SPEAKER_03: And if you hit those two marks, the next question is do I have any ability to affect this at all?
23:42
unknown: Right.
23:42
SPEAKER_03: Any ability.
23:43
SPEAKER_03: Right.
23:44
SPEAKER_03: And if it's no, then you have to give it up to Jesus.
23:49
SPEAKER_03: Like if Nashville gets swallowed up tomorrow and sinks into the middle of the world, I can't do anything about it.
23:55
SPEAKER_03: Right.
23:55
SPEAKER_03: Kind of powerless.
23:57
SPEAKER_03: But every once in a while you'll find a fear that's rational, that's likely, and you can do something about it.
24:01
SPEAKER_03: So that then you go to step three, which is you make a plan.
24:05
SPEAKER_03: And you can either make a plan for one to three things you're gonna do to make sure that this bad scenario doesn't happen.
24:13
SPEAKER_03: Or if you can't stop it from happening and it happens, what are one, two, or three things you can do to cope?
24:20
SPEAKER_03: Right.
24:20
SPEAKER_03: And so what this does is it takes a scary situation that's kind of brewing out of control in our minds, allows us to examine it and get clarity and then plan what to do about it.
24:31
SPEAKER_03: And that helps us get control.
24:33
SPEAKER_03: You know, I was talking about finances earlier.
24:36
SPEAKER_03: My 16-year-old, we he had a full ACL replacement last year, last February.
24:43
SPEAKER_03: It was terrible, it was terrible and expensive.
24:44
SPEAKER_03: So the pain was terrible, the expensive was terrible, it was terrible.
24:48
SPEAKER_03: And um just a few weeks ago in basketball, he is running, he's back at basketball and hurts his knee again.
24:55
SPEAKER_03: And on the way home, I went into the anxiety spiral.
24:58
SPEAKER_03: So he's gonna be in all this pain.
25:00
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, it's a fresh year for insurance, and how are we gonna pay for new ACF?
25:05
SPEAKER_03: And I made myself go through the okay, here's my trigger, here's what upset me, and then kind of questioning my thoughts, and then made a plan for how to cope.
25:16
SPEAKER_03: And had I not forced myself to stop that anxiety spiral, I probably would have been in it for days.
25:22
SPEAKER_03: Wow, yeah.
25:24
SPEAKER_03: So even though I created it, I still have to force myself to do that.
25:27
SPEAKER_05: I think that's what's powerful though, is that you're, I mean, it's the reality of we're human.
25:32
SPEAKER_05: So this is what we're gonna be faced with.
25:34
SPEAKER_05: And it's not like one and done, like you were able to write the book and woo, you're free from fear forever.
25:40
SPEAKER_05: But this is something you actually have to put in practice all the time.
25:43
SPEAKER_05: It's huge.
25:43
SPEAKER_03: It has been amazing.
25:45
SPEAKER_03: I I thought I was writing the book to help other people, but I I think God has me write books just to minister to myself and help me.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: And there's been times since I wrote it because I finished it over a year ago where pulled it off the shelf and went, okay, I I'm struggling with social media, I'm struggling with FOMO.
26:04
SPEAKER_03: What was my advice again?
26:05
SPEAKER_03: Because we we attack different fears in different ways.
26:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
26:09
SPEAKER_03: And when we're upset about something or we're struggling with something, we're not thinking rationally.
26:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's not like I'm gonna be like, oh yes, the battle plan for that was X, Y, and Z because I'm upset.
26:18
SPEAKER_03: I can't think.
26:19
SPEAKER_03: Yes, exactly.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you how many times I've gotten some revelation about something, and then a year later I get the exact same revelation and I think it was new.
26:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, that's awesome.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: And then I'll look back at a journal and I'm like, oh, this is like the third time this has happened to me.
26:33
SPEAKER_00: And I have no idea what God said like a year ago, six months ago.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: Because we don't.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: We just file it away, we use it for that day, week, whatever.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: And then we're back sometimes, don't have to be, but back into it.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, you've got this handy resource that you've got written down all the things.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: The power of the written word.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I just have to make myself look at it.
26:52
SPEAKER_03: I do that with sermon notes.
26:53
SPEAKER_03: I take sermon notes every Sunday, and I take them in Evernote so I won't lose them.
26:58
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's good.
26:58
SPEAKER_03: And so sometimes I'll go through the Evernote file of sermon notes and I'll be like, oh, that was brilliant.
27:05
SPEAKER_03: If I could have just remembered what I was taught, that would have been really helpful, but you can forget.
27:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's awesome.
27:14
SPEAKER_05: Okay, I'm taking a quick minute to interrupt this great conversation to share a little bit about today's podcast sponsor.
27:21
SPEAKER_05: It will not be unfamiliar to you.
27:23
SPEAKER_05: So, today's sponsor is your Enneagram coach.
27:27
SPEAKER_05: Obviously, I am a fan, and I have shared how both Ashley and I have taken bets at discovering new courses, and I even made my family sit down and go through it as well.
27:36
SPEAKER_05: I think that's on the plan for Ashley.
27:39
SPEAKER_05: So now I'm really excited because I am getting certified to be an Enneagram life coach.
27:45
SPEAKER_05: It really is fascinating, and I'm completely nerding out as I'm assimilating all this information.
27:50
SPEAKER_05: And there's a lot.
27:51
SPEAKER_05: So I hope as early as the spring, I'll be able to create a wait list if you'd like to get a free consultation with me.
27:58
SPEAKER_05: And then maybe early as the summer, I'll be able to do some one-on-one coaching.
28:03
SPEAKER_05: I'll definitely keep you posted.
28:05
SPEAKER_05: But in the meantime, you can check out Best's free online assessment.
28:09
SPEAKER_05: I just took it the other day and I thought the questions were awesome.
28:13
SPEAKER_05: And all her course information at yourineagramcoach.com.
28:17
SPEAKER_05: And now here's the rest of our conversation with Ali Worthington.
28:22
SPEAKER_05: I really appreciated how you covered FOMO at you know, quite extensively.
28:28
SPEAKER_05: And I I think, you know, it's kind of such a funny word, and we throw it around and like, don't be FOMO.
28:33
SPEAKER_05: You know, my sister's always giving me a hard time because my family lives in another state and they're like, you know, sending me text, don't get FOMO on us, you know, and and I I'm a lot better about it now.
28:43
SPEAKER_05: But I just loved how you talked about it because this is the reality, not not only for us, but for like generations to come, and it's only gonna get worse.
28:53
SPEAKER_05: So please like just share with our listeners some of the highlights about your FOMO chapter because it's so good and your FOMO lessons.
29:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was it's a it was a humbling lesson.
29:05
SPEAKER_03: So some some girlfriends decided to do a girlfriend's getaway to Las Vegas, and you know, going for the weekend, having a great time.
29:14
SPEAKER_03: I was invited, I said I couldn't go just because we couldn't afford it, and I'm just I'm not a huge Vegas fan.
29:22
SPEAKER_03: I'm with Dion.
29:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can see that.
29:24
SPEAKER_03: And as much as it sounded great, you know, go see Celine Dion and go eat wonderful meals and do all that.
29:30
SPEAKER_03: And I cheered them on, I helped them plan, it was all good, everything was great.
29:34
SPEAKER_03: I'm at home with my kids, I love movies.
29:37
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna go see Finding Dory, Mark's making burgers, everything's amazing.
29:42
SPEAKER_03: And um, they started posting pictures and I fell apart.
29:47
SPEAKER_03: As soon as the pictures started coming on Instagram and Facebook and every meal and every experience, all of a sudden my life was miserable.
29:56
SPEAKER_03: They didn't love me anymore, I wasn't needed, and everything was terrible.
30:01
SPEAKER_03: So I called one of my other friends and she was like, Allie, you told them to go.
30:06
SPEAKER_03: Like, did you secretly want them to cancel the trip because you couldn't come?
30:09
SPEAKER_03: You were fine until you started seeing all the pictures.
30:12
SPEAKER_03: And she was like, You're home with the family you love, yeah, doing what you love to do.
30:18
SPEAKER_03: You have got to focus in on that and get off social media.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: And so as I started researching social media after I came to my senses later, um, I found some really fascinating things.
30:30
SPEAKER_03: There is this, there's this thing that happens to us on social media where we get rejected accidentally and on purpose.
30:38
SPEAKER_03: If all of our friends go out to lunch and we weren't invited, we get a feeling of rejection.
30:43
SPEAKER_03: Here's what's so fascinating about this researchers have found that the hurts we feel, like say we're feeling rejected, we feel hurt, the same areas in our brain that fire up um when we have physical pain, fire up when we have emotional pain.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
31:00
SPEAKER_03: So we are literally opening up Instagram, feeling left out, or or you know, going on Facebook, and and here's what I hear all the time I go on Facebook, I share my heart on Facebook, and none of my friends comment.
31:12
SPEAKER_03: Nobody likes it.
31:13
SPEAKER_03: So that leads to people feeling rejected.
31:15
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
31:16
SPEAKER_03: So we potentially can feel rejected in new ways every single day.
31:21
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
31:22
SPEAKER_03: And if our brain responds to that emotional hurt the same in the exact same way as physical, it feels like a punch in the gut.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:30
SPEAKER_03: So we have to arm ourselves with knowledge about how social media works, how it affects our heart, how it affects our brain, and put some guidelines on it, or I feel like it's really going to be the thing that can steal people's happiness and peace.
31:43
SPEAKER_03: And there's times I'm not emotionally healthy enough to go on social media.
31:48
SPEAKER_03: I woke up this morning and a couple of the kids were sick, and I said, I got them settled, the other boys were off to school, and I opened up Instagram, and I guess because I just had a rough morning, I realized the more I scrolled through people's pictures, the worse I felt.
32:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
32:04
SPEAKER_03: And I had to just get off of it.
32:05
SPEAKER_03: And uh here's another really neat piece of research that um when we passively scroll through people's pictures, it will lead to us feeling depressed.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: But if we actively engage, like if we like them, if we comment, if if we're a participant in the relationship on social media, it will protect us from being depressed from social media.
32:28
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
32:28
SPEAKER_03: That's good.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: That is good.
32:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I was just I was scrolling because I was having a bad morning.
32:32
SPEAKER_03: And I I thought, I thought that I was helping myself feel better, checking in on everyone, but I just felt worse and worse and worse and had to get off of social media altogether.
32:41
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
32:42
SPEAKER_05: Because you weren't at a place to celebrate with them.
32:44
SPEAKER_03: No.
32:44
SPEAKER_05: And and you know, I talk to moms a lot about their time and how to just you know make the most of the time they have with their kids.
32:51
SPEAKER_05: But I talk about specifically for their soul care.
32:55
SPEAKER_05: We so often go to the phone because it's easy and it's accessible.
32:58
SPEAKER_05: And when we have 10 to 15 minutes, we think, oh, we'll just pull out the phone.
33:02
SPEAKER_05: But so most of the time we get off and we want a new house, a new wardrobe, a new husband, a new kids, and you know, we need a million dollars to make our life feel better instead of feeling good.
33:13
SPEAKER_05: But there are times, and I have really learned to like take it to the Holy Spirit as well, because sometimes I can go on there and I can celebrate and I can champion and I can rejoice.
33:23
SPEAKER_05: And other times it's like, oh, I just need a whole new life.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: I've learned that when I feel that, or especially if I see some, I have several friends that are just kind of out on their own.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: They've launched out to try new things, new businesses, just using their creativity.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: And I noticed there was a part of me that was like, ugh, like it was just because I want to do it, but I have this fear that keeps me from it.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: So I just made a decision that every time I saw them do that, I was gonna comment, I'm so proud of you, or whatever, to celebrate them instead of sit there and go, I wish I could do that.
33:54
SPEAKER_00: Why are they doing that?
33:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, who do they think they are?
33:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, because that's the voice I hear in my head.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: And so rather than do that, I just combat it by good job, I love that, or whatever.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: And it really does help.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: That's good to kind of cut that out.
34:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that is really good.
34:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love that.
34:06
SPEAKER_03: I like to say if if someone is sick in your house or the dog has thrown up on your carpet and you're cleaning it, you don't need to go on social media and look at everybody's vacation photos.
34:17
SPEAKER_03: Like it's just not the right time.
34:19
SPEAKER_04: It's not the right time.
34:23
SPEAKER_03: When things are falling apart in my house, like like I said, two of two of the boys are down right now.
34:28
SPEAKER_03: I don't need to see everyone's beautiful stage photos.
34:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, because here's here's the thing also that we really need to talk about.
34:38
SPEAKER_03: Instagram, especially, has become a business.
34:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
34:41
SPEAKER_03: So it is some people's full-time business to stage professional photos of themselves and their families all day long.
34:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
34:49
SPEAKER_03: We are living in such a weird time.
34:53
SPEAKER_03: I look at people's pictures and I go, wow, you just like you have a you must hire a photographer every week follow you around.
35:00
SPEAKER_03: Photoshop pretty well.
35:02
SPEAKER_03: Um, and I don't I don't fault them for it.
35:05
SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
35:06
SPEAKER_03: But until we realize, oh, there's actually an entire business model based on taking low-key professional photos for Instagram and staging this stuff, right?
35:16
SPEAKER_03: We'll compare our real life to that stuff.
35:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
35:19
SPEAKER_03: That's super depressing.
35:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
35:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because my selfie certainly does not look like their selfie.
35:24
SPEAKER_05: Oh no.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: Nothing like nothing on my Instagram feed looks like any of that.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: I have the weird my Instagram feed is just not even Instagram-y.
35:33
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
35:34
SPEAKER_05: Ashley, I follow Ashley just for the laugh.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't play by the Instagram rules.
35:39
SPEAKER_00: I don't think whatever that's.
35:40
SPEAKER_05: But it's so true.
35:41
SPEAKER_05: Because you that's when you're and when you're not in a good place, you look at that and you look like gosh.
35:45
SPEAKER_05: I mean, you forget to filter it that way of like, oh, a professional did that, or they actually staged it and thought through it.
35:50
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
35:51
SPEAKER_05: You start thinking, oh, that's their real life, and you compare it.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: And like that's an interior designer who is not showing you all the garbage behind the camera.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: She just gooched it all to the side, and all you're seeing is the mantle, and like everything else might be a disaster.
36:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
36:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's a there's an angle that I'll use when I show my house, and it's just one angle, right?
36:10
SPEAKER_03: Because the rest is like a bottom and the pictures are in that one corner.
36:16
SPEAKER_05: People start noticing a trend now.
36:17
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's all it's good corner.
36:20
SPEAKER_05: I like it.
36:20
SPEAKER_05: Maybe that's where she goes hides after traveling with the kids lunarella.
36:25
SPEAKER_05: That's hilarious.
36:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, that's awesome.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: Um I would like to just point out another thing that I'm hearing you say as you're talking is Brene Brown talks about keeping a short list.
36:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know if you follow her, but who's your short list?
36:36
SPEAKER_00: Write like four or five names on a tiny piece of paper and keep it with you.
36:39
SPEAKER_00: And those are the people who have permission to speak into your life.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: Or call these people.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: When you get into that place, you call these people.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: And it sounds like you may be, I don't know how short your list is, but so far the two disaster stories you've told, you've called somebody, or Christine called you.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: So you've had three times where somebody else kind of was able to snap you out or give you some truth.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really important too.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:02
SPEAKER_00: Have you purposely thought through that?
37:04
SPEAKER_03: You have to be close enough to people and allow people to call you out on your crazy.
37:10
SPEAKER_03: But it has to be people who are trustworthy, sure.
37:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and people who make good decisions in their own lives.
37:15
SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't want a crazy person to call me out on my crazy because then I'm in worse shape.
37:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:20
SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, one of one of the first things I do, and I wish I could say that every day when when I'm every time this happens, that you know, I go to Jesus and I have my quiet time, and then I call a friend.
37:31
SPEAKER_03: A lot of times I call a friend, and she'll be like, Have you talked to Jesus about this?
37:37
SPEAKER_04: Those are good friends.
37:39
unknown: Yeah.
37:39
SPEAKER_03: Um, the most impactful moments of my life have often been when someone loved me enough to call me out on my behavior.
37:49
SPEAKER_03: I mean, to say, listen, I I know you're reacting this way, I see you doing this, but here's the truth.
37:58
SPEAKER_03: Because sometimes we can't see it.
38:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're so close to it.
38:02
SPEAKER_03: You know, we're in the forest and there's not a single tree there.
38:04
SPEAKER_03: Right.
38:05
SPEAKER_03: It's that way in our emotional life, it's that way in business.
38:08
SPEAKER_03: It's why I do business coaching.
38:10
SPEAKER_03: It's why, even though I do business coaching, I still have one.
38:14
SPEAKER_03: Because we we can't see things because we're so close to it.
38:18
SPEAKER_03: Right.
38:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
38:19
SPEAKER_03: But we have this idea, we all do it, that we shouldn't need help.
38:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:25
SPEAKER_03: You know, there's a there's a certain point where you reach a certain age, I'm 41, it would be very easy for me to say, Oh, I have everything all together.
38:33
SPEAKER_03: I don't need help.
38:34
SPEAKER_03: But nobody does.
38:35
SPEAKER_03: Nobody, nobody can do it for themselves.
38:38
SPEAKER_03: It's not how we're created.
38:40
SPEAKER_05: There, there's no point of arrival where we can be an island enter ourselves.
38:43
SPEAKER_05: We always need that circle.
38:46
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes, you know, sometimes it's smaller in different season than other seasons, but at least to have a couple people to reach out, and that's really good.
38:55
SPEAKER_05: Okay, a couple things.
38:57
SPEAKER_05: Um, I wanted to know.
38:58
SPEAKER_05: Well, I wrote um a lot of notes as I read your book, and then I was really glad to also see you had um um a kind of a shortcut highlight list in the back of the book, which I thought was really unique, where you just kind of spelled out the steps that you had mentioned.
39:13
SPEAKER_05: And then I think some of those are even available like on your website and all that good stuff.
39:17
SPEAKER_05: And one of those was the five bad bees, which I just I just sort of laughed at because growing up, I mean this is totally random, but my sister, next is 18 months younger than me, she had what we called the bad benas.
39:31
SPEAKER_05: And some days they were the bad binas and they were the good binas.
39:34
SPEAKER_05: And to this day, we kind of tease her about the binas.
39:37
SPEAKER_05: And so I started thinking about I we don't know what the binas are.
39:39
SPEAKER_05: We don't know what the binas are, but I kind of related it to the five bad bees.
39:44
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I need to tell my sister about the five bad bees, they're her bad binas.
39:48
SPEAKER_05: I don't know what benas stands for and to this day.
39:51
SPEAKER_05: Were they angels and demons?
39:53
SPEAKER_05: Or were you that?
39:55
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna ask her what those binas were.
39:57
SPEAKER_05: I know.
39:58
SPEAKER_05: Did you see them?
40:01
SPEAKER_05: So I wanted to ask about the five bad bees because that did stand out to me, and I thought it was so good and just a real helpful clarifying process in this getting rid of fear and anxiety journey.
40:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, I'd love to talk about it.
40:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, as as someone who who teaches a lot, the joke is if it rhymes, it's true.
40:20
SPEAKER_03: Yes, absolutely.
40:23
SPEAKER_03: If I could make everything rhyme, I'd be brilliant.
40:25
SPEAKER_03: That's in the Lego movie, too.
40:27
SPEAKER_03: If you want people to remember things, you have to use alliteration.
40:29
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
40:30
SPEAKER_03: So, and and I'm super nerdy, so I I I always go about a book with a lot of research.
40:34
SPEAKER_03: So I wanted to find like what are the ways that we all try to deal with our fear and anxiety in ways that aren't helpful to us.
40:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
40:42
SPEAKER_03: And I found all these very, very common behaviors, and luckily I was able to make them all start with a beat.
40:48
SPEAKER_03: Way to go.
40:49
SPEAKER_05: I thought it was brunus.
40:52
SPEAKER_03: So the first one is busy, and it's super simple.
40:55
SPEAKER_03: We make ourselves busy when we don't want to think about fear or what's worrying us.
41:00
SPEAKER_03: We will often focus in on very little things and avoid the big thing that's scaring us.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Like whenever there's a deadline or a conversation that I have to have, I'm great at deciding a closet needs to be cleaned out.
41:15
SPEAKER_05: Sure.
41:16
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
41:17
SPEAKER_03: Keep your schedule so packed that you don't have to have the conversation that you don't want to have.
41:22
SPEAKER_03: Right.
41:22
SPEAKER_03: Um, the second one is blame.
41:25
SPEAKER_03: And this is just externalizing our fear.
41:28
SPEAKER_03: It happens a lot with men, but happens with women too.
41:31
SPEAKER_03: Um, and uh a story about this one.
41:35
SPEAKER_03: I have because I have five boys, I can tell stories on my boys, and no one knows like which boy it is, so they have privacy.
41:41
SPEAKER_05: This is good.
41:42
SPEAKER_03: One boy can't say who he is.
41:46
SPEAKER_03: He gets a lot of test anxiety, and one morning it was up early, and instead of making you know, Cheerios like I normally do or something easy, I made pancakes.
41:56
SPEAKER_03: So this is this is love.
41:58
SPEAKER_05: Oh, it is sacrificing.
41:59
SPEAKER_03: And I serve him the pancakes, and he burst into tears and said, I'm gonna fail my test now because you gave me pancakes.
42:05
SPEAKER_03: Pancakes make me sleepy, and now I'm gonna fail.
42:12
SPEAKER_03: Right?
42:12
SPEAKER_03: My kind gesture of pancakes is not gonna make him fail, but he what he was doing is just saying, I can't handle these negative feelings that I have, and I'm just gonna put them off on somebody else.
42:24
SPEAKER_04: Blame you for the text.
42:26
SPEAKER_03: You know, husbands and wives are great at doing it with each other.
42:29
SPEAKER_04: Sure, sure.
42:30
SPEAKER_03: You know, like if so-and-so hadn't have done so-and-so, I wouldn't blah, blah, blah.
42:34
SPEAKER_03: Like that's marriage.
42:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but we also see it in the office, we see it with in relationships, it happens all the time.
42:40
SPEAKER_03: It is it's just a way to kind of numb this bad feeling and put it off of somebody else.
42:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, busy, there's blame.
42:47
SPEAKER_03: The next one is binge.
42:49
SPEAKER_03: And this binging, now it's kind of in our culture, you know.
42:53
SPEAKER_03: We binge watch TV, I binge watch this is us.
42:56
unknown: Yeah.
42:57
SPEAKER_03: But the way we know if we're binging as a way to numb our emotions or try to deal with fear is are we doing things that make us happier?
43:06
SPEAKER_03: And are we doing it appropriately, or are we doing things as an escape and to try to not think about it?
43:12
SPEAKER_03: Could be shopping, exercise, drinking, eating, the internet.
43:17
SPEAKER_03: I went through a season where instead of going to sleep at night, I'd go to bed and I would scroll online for hours.
43:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:25
SPEAKER_03: And I finally had to admit to myself I wasn't doing it so much because I liked it.
43:30
SPEAKER_03: I did it because if I closed my eyes and I put my head on the pillow, I would start worrying.
43:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:35
SPEAKER_03: So I was trying to numb the worry by staying up late on Pinterest.
43:39
SPEAKER_03: And I don't even like Pinterest because it makes me feel bad about myself.
43:42
SPEAKER_03: Um that's stinge.
43:44
SPEAKER_03: Um, the fourth one is Barry.
43:47
SPEAKER_03: And Barry is made up of three things it's um denial, procrastination, and avoidance.
43:56
SPEAKER_03: This can be we don't know anything.
43:59
SPEAKER_04: I mean we don't.
44:00
SPEAKER_04: We've never seen this at all.
44:02
SPEAKER_03: Every time I share this one, I see women in the audience be like, oh not me.
44:10
SPEAKER_03: And often it's just denial.
44:12
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that's what I was doing when my girlfriend approached me and said, I know why you cried at that song, because you are a mess.
44:19
SPEAKER_03: Like you're you're managing fear and you're not doing it well.
44:22
SPEAKER_03: You're you're living in fear.
44:24
SPEAKER_03: And so the hardest thing to do is so often is for us to just be like, yeah, I I am afraid.
44:31
SPEAKER_03: I am anxious.
44:32
SPEAKER_03: And it is it is affecting my quality of life, and it's time to fight back.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: Because it's easier to just go, no, this is this is modern life, this is everyone's life, I'm managing, I'm doing a great job.
44:42
SPEAKER_03: Everybody that I know feels this way too.
44:45
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think I wrote down a specific quote from that piece that you said you you had to admit what I was feeling so I could start to be healed.
44:55
SPEAKER_05: I that to me was revolutionary.
44:58
SPEAKER_05: And at the same time, I'll just I don't I didn't plan on sharing this, but at the same time, I literally, it was an early Sunday morning, I was reading this, the house was still quiet, so the Lord was, you know, I could hear him loud and clear.
45:07
SPEAKER_05: But I literally had this vision of where I was sitting there, and I think I told Ashley about this, but I was like taking like these stones and holding them to the light, and I felt like the Lord was saying that they were my feelings, and suddenly they looked pretty and they were like jewels, and I was holding jewels and I was holding it up to them, and he was just saying, because I just for so long have framed my feelings as bad and ugly, and instead I was holding them to the light and they looked beautiful, and I was giving them to him, and I mean that just what a profound like just to say that's how the Lord spoke through your words in that for me that I was like, okay, it's okay.
45:49
SPEAKER_05: And I never thought myself as an unfeeling, bury my feeling kind of person, but suddenly I realized, like, oh I mean, so we could talk about that forever, but I just wanted to share that with you because that's huge.
46:00
SPEAKER_03: God is so good, isn't he good?
46:02
SPEAKER_05: He's so good.
46:03
SPEAKER_03: I know that's great.
46:04
SPEAKER_03: That's why I love it.
46:05
SPEAKER_03: So again, just admitting, just admitting we're feeling a certain way, because if we if we keep pushing them down and we don't admit it, we can't heal.
46:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we absolutely can't heal.
46:15
unknown: Right.
46:16
SPEAKER_03: So there's busy, blame, binge, bury, and the last one, super important, it's brood.
46:22
SPEAKER_03: And brood is just a B word for ruminate.
46:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:26
SPEAKER_03: And rumination is this fascinating thing we do with our thoughts, and it comes from how cows eat.
46:34
SPEAKER_03: That's so gross.
46:36
SPEAKER_03: Cows will, you know, they'll they'll chew grass and they'll swallow it, and they'll throw it up and they'll chew it again and swallow it again over and over and over again.
46:44
SPEAKER_03: And experts, all these researchers, came up with the term rumination based on that, which means we are constantly thinking about negative scenarios in our head.
46:54
SPEAKER_03: It could be something from the past, or it can be something that we're worried about in the future.
46:58
SPEAKER_03: And what we're doing is we're throwing up these thoughts over and over and over again and chewing on them.
47:05
SPEAKER_03: And here's why brooding is so dangerous if what they found when people are depressed, their thoughts are primarily based on rumination.
47:15
SPEAKER_03: So you're thinking about things bad things that happened before, you're thinking about things that you're worried about.
47:20
SPEAKER_03: But even if we aren't depressed and you know, we're just going about living our lives, if we get in a habit of brooding on things, it's actually directly linked to creating depression.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
47:31
SPEAKER_03: So it's really, really dangerous if left unchecked.
47:36
SPEAKER_03: So I think the the most important thing for all of us is just to be aware that these are the struggles of our days.
47:43
SPEAKER_03: Our modern life is set up to scare the pants off of us and to make us feel rejected and to make us feel like we're missing out.
47:52
SPEAKER_03: But when we arm ourselves with scriptural truth and these practical tools, then we can really defeat it.
47:58
SPEAKER_03: But it's something that, like you said, I mean, I I wrote the book and I still struggle with it.
48:03
SPEAKER_03: I still go, Oh, I need to take my own advice.
48:05
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
48:06
SPEAKER_03: Um, and the five bees, we have them up on our refrigerator.
48:09
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's great.
48:10
SPEAKER_03: As a way just to do a gut check, like which of the bees am I falling into?
48:14
SPEAKER_03: And we'll call each other out and the family about it.
48:16
SPEAKER_04: That's good.
48:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:18
SPEAKER_03: That's good.
48:18
SPEAKER_03: Because we just we have to stay aware and we have to be willing to fight back against this because fear is that thing that we all deal with, whether we want to admit it or not.
48:30
SPEAKER_03: And fear is just it's such a tool of the enemy to be able to come in on the side when we're dealing with stuff or when we're worried about stuff and whisper lies to us and make us ineffective.
48:41
SPEAKER_03: I mean, of course, he's gonna come in when when we're dealing with a situation that makes us feel afraid and whisper ten lies in our ear.
48:50
SPEAKER_03: Right.
48:50
SPEAKER_05: Right.
48:51
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's good.
48:52
SPEAKER_05: Now, the first one I just want to tie this into and kind of ask a question as well.
48:56
SPEAKER_05: But the first one was busy.
48:58
SPEAKER_05: And you your first book is breaking busy, right?
49:01
SPEAKER_05: So do you feel like that kind of that book expands on that and addresses some of that, or do you see the similarities of them being tied together?
49:11
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's funny.
49:12
SPEAKER_03: I did it until I started writing this.
49:14
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
49:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, I knew I knew with busyness that busyness was the behavior that we all fall into as a way, I mean, honestly, just trying to be like quote unquote good Christian women.
49:29
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
49:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
49:30
SPEAKER_03: Um because because we all feel like if if we disappoint people, it's a sin, literally.
49:36
SPEAKER_03: So we don't say no, we don't have boundaries.
49:39
SPEAKER_03: We never say, Lord, what do you want me to do versus what everyone else wants me to do?
49:44
SPEAKER_03: And yeah, you know, I went through and and real and you know, read the gospels again and and just thought about how Jesus disappointed people.
49:55
SPEAKER_03: Jesus had a getaway boat.
49:56
SPEAKER_03: You know, the crowds came to Jesus and he didn't always stay with every single person.
50:01
SPEAKER_03: You know, the disciples were gonna sit at at his side and and you know rule with him, they were disappointed.
50:08
SPEAKER_03: But in our modern life, we've made disappointment a sin.
50:12
SPEAKER_03: But we know Jesus lived a perfect life, he never sinned, and Jesus disappointed people.
50:17
SPEAKER_03: And for me, I knew that busyness was this tool again that the enemy uses to make us ineffective.
50:25
SPEAKER_03: Because if we're always doing things, if we're if we're living out of a fear of man instead of a fear of God, we're ineffective and we're unhappy.
50:33
SPEAKER_03: So I knew that, but then when I started tackling fear and I found all this research that said people try to numb their fear and anxiety with busyness, I'm like, oh, of course they do.
50:45
SPEAKER_03: Of course they do.
50:46
SPEAKER_03: It's it's such a it's such an innocent habit that we so often think is positive.
50:52
SPEAKER_03: Of course the enemy's gonna use that to um to hurt us, yeah.
50:56
SPEAKER_05: And it's usually affirmed through culture.
50:58
SPEAKER_05: Um I mean, especially our Christian culture, but it's like, oh, they must be good because they're doing this, this, and this.
51:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I mean if you're if you're a Christian woman and someone calls you selfish, they might as well say that you don't love your children and you know, you're ugly.
51:15
SPEAKER_03: No one wants to be called selfish.
51:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
51:17
SPEAKER_03: Um, but sometimes sometimes having boundaries and even appearing a little selfish is is the most important thing that we can do to live out our calling.
51:28
SPEAKER_05: Well, yeah, and then then that's the problem, is that that means probably because we've judged other people about their boundaries and called it selfish, and so then we put the same standard on our lives.
51:40
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
51:41
SPEAKER_05: You know, that whole judging cycle happens.
51:44
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
51:45
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's kind of like forgiveness.
51:46
SPEAKER_03: I'm a huge fan of forgiveness when I've done something wrong, but when someone hurts me, I'm like, Lord, rain down hellfire.
51:53
unknown: That's right.
51:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
51:55
SPEAKER_03: So it's very humbling.
51:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
51:58
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's when when you realize like, oh, I'm one of those people that's judged people for having boundaries, it gets it gets a lot stickier.
52:08
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, exactly.
52:09
SPEAKER_05: And it just yeah, helps you put the lit grace lens on.
52:12
SPEAKER_05: And when we do that to ourselves, it does help us give that more to others for sure.
52:17
SPEAKER_05: Because they're like, oh yeah, well, maybe they're doing this because they should and they need to.
52:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's awesome.
52:23
SPEAKER_05: Well, before we kind of close up, because you've given us such a generous amount of time and I like I think we could talk all day.
52:31
SPEAKER_05: Um, as usual.
52:32
SPEAKER_05: But um you had mentioned at the beginning, and then I know it's on your website the battle plan.
52:36
SPEAKER_05: I would love our friends to go there and check that out before they get, you know, your book in their hands.
52:43
SPEAKER_05: Um, kind of give us some highlights of what that looks like.
52:46
SPEAKER_05: And you talked about you post the five B's, which I think is great.
52:49
SPEAKER_05: Um, how do you incorporate the battle plan?
52:50
SPEAKER_03: Um the five B's are in the battle plan.
52:53
SPEAKER_03: Then the and this is it everyone that hasn't read the book, I'm so sorry because you're gonna think it's so cheesy.
52:59
SPEAKER_03: Um there's the five bad B's, but then there's kind of an overarching battle plan for the whole book.
53:05
SPEAKER_03: With the with each chapter, with each fear, there's a battle plan for that specific fear, but there's an overarching battle plan that's called the four good A's.
53:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, five back against the five bad B's and the four good A's, and those are all in the back of the book.
53:18
SPEAKER_03: But also, um, I'm a big believer in personalizing scripture.
53:22
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
53:23
SPEAKER_03: So I have some scriptures written out where you can put your name in it and say there's life truths to speak over your life.
53:30
SPEAKER_03: And there's some fill in the blanks with where you can take your thoughts that are unhealthy and write them out, and then you can write out the healthier truth version of those thoughts.
53:43
SPEAKER_03: When we step back and we kind of like we do with stopping the anxiety spiral, to go, okay, this thought I'm having, I'm just gonna get some clarity and and ask a couple of questions.
53:53
SPEAKER_03: Um when we step back and and make ourselves do that, and it only takes a minute or two, it's able to bring everything into order.
54:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
54:01
SPEAKER_03: And we're able to see things through a through a clear lens.
54:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, the truth lens.
54:07
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so good.
54:08
SPEAKER_05: Okay, and then our real last question, my real last question besides um so business coaching.
54:14
SPEAKER_05: Just tell us a little bit.
54:15
SPEAKER_05: I think that's how you got started.
54:16
SPEAKER_05: It's where you're gonna put some more time here in the future.
54:19
SPEAKER_05: Just what does that look like?
54:21
SPEAKER_05: And what is it that you exactly do in the business?
54:24
SPEAKER_05: Do you do it on a large scale?
54:25
SPEAKER_05: Is it one-on-one?
54:27
SPEAKER_05: Um because I think you know, there's some women in our audience who are building businesses out of their home or they have a vision and a dream for that um so they could stay home with their kids.
54:38
SPEAKER_05: Uh just give us a little picture because I know that's some of your heart and passion.
54:43
SPEAKER_03: I I love I love investing with someone long-term on a journey.
54:47
SPEAKER_03: So my clients range, they're there are clients who are just starting, who are saying, like, I'm leaving the corporate world or I'm working from home and want to build a business.
54:56
SPEAKER_03: Um, but I also have clients that are you know doctors and have offices all over the country or people who have businesses.
55:03
SPEAKER_03: And with them, I'm helping them manage their time, um, manage their team, hire, and it's and but with people who are just starting out, I'm taking them through all the steps from finding a profitable business idea, you know, where to focus your time, how to how to set up a website that actually works for you instead of a website that just looks pretty, you know, how to do email marketing, all the little details.
55:26
SPEAKER_03: And the way I work is I have a phone call with the client every week, and then I work in a base camp project.
55:32
unknown: Okay.
55:32
SPEAKER_03: And so it's super individualized.
55:34
SPEAKER_03: I don't work with a lot of people because I want to really invest in them.
55:38
SPEAKER_03: And it's it's funny, I have wanted to do an online business course for how to start your business for years, and the Lord just won't let me.
55:46
SPEAKER_05: I've been writing some books and propel and even a little bit.
55:53
SPEAKER_03: Like the whole thing's done, eight weeks, and the Lord just says no.
55:58
SPEAKER_03: And I think it's because, I mean, I I don't know.
56:01
SPEAKER_03: You could ask me three years from now, and the Lord may say yes, but sure.
56:04
SPEAKER_03: I think it's because we have a lot of information, but what we really need is someone to hold our hand and get feedback and be there with us on the journey.
56:14
SPEAKER_05: So that's the way I work.
56:15
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
56:16
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's awesome.
56:16
SPEAKER_05: And plus, most of us are verbal processors, and so that dialogue came back and forth.
56:21
SPEAKER_05: So much can happen in that.
56:23
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I I think that's what's been such a gift is the Lord has really started to build a team.
56:27
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, I'm so glad it's just not me and myself, and yeah, God, I know, but I don't always hear you so clearly.
56:34
SPEAKER_05: You don't see that.
56:34
SPEAKER_03: And I've had a lot of ideas that I thought were brilliant.
56:38
SPEAKER_03: And because because, like I like I said, I still have a coach and I still have experts around me who'll be like, no, girl, that's a terrible idea.
56:46
SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you why.
56:47
SPEAKER_03: Like you need somebody that like I can't tell you the book titles I've thought of that the publishers have been like, mm-mm.
56:55
SPEAKER_03: It's funny when um when I was when I first submitted my first book proposal, um, the the publishers were all like, This is great, it's wonderful.
57:05
SPEAKER_03: But I had this one house, this one editor who said, Well, you have some weak spots, and I and I can't I can help you with those.
57:14
SPEAKER_03: Like, and and she can she went through where my weaknesses were and why I needed help in that way.
57:19
SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
57:19
SPEAKER_03: And I, of course, was offended because I'm mature.
57:22
SPEAKER_03: But I had my agent talk to the other houses to say, Do you see any weaknesses in Allie's writing and anything that she needs to work on?
57:30
SPEAKER_03: And they all said, No, no, she's great.
57:32
SPEAKER_03: And I said, Okay, we're going with the house that cares about me enough to go, here's where you're not strong yet, but we're gonna help you.
57:40
SPEAKER_05: That's so great.
57:41
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, everybody, everybody needs that coach who is just a little farther along and can say, here's where your weaknesses are, here's where we're gonna fix them and just make you better.
57:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
57:51
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's so good.
57:52
SPEAKER_05: I love it.
57:53
SPEAKER_05: Allie, thank you so much.
57:56
SPEAKER_05: And we just wish you wild success with Fierce Faith, which I know it already has been.
58:00
SPEAKER_05: It's impacting lives.
58:02
SPEAKER_05: Um, I know my story is just one of the millions that are gonna come from it.
58:06
SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much, and thank you for having me on and sharing your story.
58:09
SPEAKER_03: That's that's amazing.
58:10
SPEAKER_05: Well, we love you.
58:11
SPEAKER_05: Thank you, Ali.
58:12
SPEAKER_05: Thank you, Ali.
58:13
SPEAKER_05: Have a good one.
58:13
SPEAKER_05: Bye.
58:18
SPEAKER_05: Isn't Allie the best?
58:20
SPEAKER_05: Oh man, I so love talking to her.
58:22
SPEAKER_05: Well, we all did, and a couple of us have actually checked into the process to see if we could be coached by her.
58:29
SPEAKER_05: We'll let you know if we do.
58:31
SPEAKER_05: But um, she mentioned she is a business coach and I happen to know her as a wealth of information.
58:37
SPEAKER_05: All you need to do is book around on her website and see all the free stuff she's offering and different, you know, 10-day challenges and things like that.
58:45
SPEAKER_05: So you can read her book from a fierce faith, and you'll have all the practices of the confidence found in those pages.
58:52
SPEAKER_05: And then if you are ready to take it a step further, you might want to explore her website for all the other offerings and ways to connect with her.
59:00
SPEAKER_05: Her Instagram feed is one of my favorites to follow, and it's just her name, Ali Worthington, and that's two L's, A-L-L-I in Worthington.
59:08
SPEAKER_05: And of course, I'll put the link in the show notes.
59:11
SPEAKER_05: But a recent post of hers sums up what we here at Simply Wholehearted are on a mission to share.
59:18
SPEAKER_05: So she says, the day you look at other women and celebrate their strengths instead of think of them as competition is the day you go from being a girl to a woman.
59:30
SPEAKER_05: So good.
59:31
SPEAKER_05: Love it.
59:32
SPEAKER_05: Thank you, Allie, for all that you are doing.
59:35
SPEAKER_05: So next week, we are going to celebrate one year of the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
59:42
SPEAKER_05: I can't believe it! It's so fun.
59:44
SPEAKER_05: I love getting to do this every week.
59:47
SPEAKER_05: It's such a privilege.
59:48
SPEAKER_05: And I'm so grateful that you all listen.
59:50
SPEAKER_05: So many of you listen, way beyond my wildest expectations.
59:55
SPEAKER_05: I love seeing the download rate every single day and how it's just growing as you're sharing the podcast and you're listening to it and having fun talking about it with your friends and your family.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_05: So next week the tables are turned, and Ashley and I get to be interviewed by one of my dear friends and a fellow simply wholehearted collective member, Bethany Riddle.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_05: We are going to have some good, clean fun, and we have loads to share.
1:00:20
SPEAKER_05: I'm warning you now, we do lots of talking.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_05: But I promise it's not a two-hour episode.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_05: Anyway, we are really grateful for all of our listening friends and the privilege to do this every single week.
1:00:31
SPEAKER_05: So until next week, we hope you'll be joining us as we discover more ways to live a simply wholehearted life.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_05: Unplugged, purposeful, and intentional.