Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Run a Career Reference Audit
Transcript
- Lucas: So, Luna, you've probably seen this: a candidate gets to the final round, everything looks great on paper, and then the reference check quietly sinks the whole thing. Luna: Oh, absolutely. It's the invisible killer of job offers. I've had clients who were blindsided by a reference they thought was solid. Lucas: Right, and that's why I want to talk about a reference audit. Not just checking names off a list, but actually stress-testing who you're using, what they're saying, and whether they're still in your corner. And before we go deep — quick honest thing. A handful of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's literally what funds making this many of these. No ads, no sponsors, just listener support. So if you've gotten something useful from the show, that's the way to keep it going. Luna: Yeah, it's a small group, but it genuinely keeps us independent. And we're grateful for every single one. Lucas: Okay, so back to the audit. Let me set the scene with a real case I came across recently. A marketing manager, mid-career, was a finalist for a director role. She had three references, all former bosses. The company called all three. One of them — someone she'd worked with five years ago — gave a lukewarm, hesitant review. Not negative, just... tepid. And that was enough to tip the scales against her. Luna: Ouch. And she probably had no idea that reference was going to be a drag on her. Lucas: Exactly. So the first step in an audit is to ask yourself: who's actually on my list, and how recent is that relationship? If it's been more than two or three years, you need to re-qualify them. Luna: So it's not just about whether they liked you — it's about whether they can speak to your current skills, right? Lucas: Right. A reference who knew you when you were an analyst can't speak to your leadership style now. You need people who've seen you operate in the last couple of years at a level close to the one you're targeting. Luna: And I'd add: check their willingness, not just their availability. Someone might say 'sure, put me down' but then give a flat, unenthusiastic reference because they're busy or they don't really remember you. Lucas: That's a great point. And it leads to the second step: actually ask each reference two questions before you commit to them. First, 'Can you give a strong, specific reference for me?' If they hesitate, that's your answer. Second, 'What would you say are my top two strengths and one area for growth?' If they can't answer off the top of their head, they're not prepared to advocate for you. Luna: I love that. It's like a quick pre-screening call. Because if they stumble on those questions, imagine how they'll sound to a hiring manager. Lucas: Exactly. And you want to give them the chance to talk you out of using them. I had a client who asked that first question, and a former colleague said, 'Honestly, I wasn't thrilled with how we left things, so maybe I'm not the best person.' Saved her from a disaster. Luna: That's such a gift. Most people won't volunteer that kind of honesty unless you ask directly. Lucas: So step three is to refresh your references' memory. Send them your current resume, a bullet list of projects you worked on together, and a few talking points about what you want the next role to be. The more context you give them, the better they can speak to your fit. Luna: And it's not just about giving them info — it's also about getting their buy-in. If they're excited to help, that energy comes through. Lucas: Yes. And then step four: during the actual job search, keep your references updated on where you are in the process. If they know you're in final rounds, they'll be more alert and ready when the call comes. Luna: Right. And you should also ask each reference what they said after the check. If you get the offer, great. But if you don't, you can circle back and ask for honest feedback. Lucas: That's a pro move. And it ties into the broader idea: a reference audit isn't a one-time thing. You should do it twice a year, even when you're not job hunting. Because relationships fade, people change jobs, and your own story evolves. Luna: So it's like a health check for your professional network. Keep it in shape so it's ready when you need it. Lucas: Exactly. And I want to give you a concrete checklist you can use. First, list your top five potential references. Rank them by how recently you worked together, how senior they are, and how well they know you. Then, for each one, schedule a quick coffee or call — not to ask for a reference, but to reconnect and catch up on what you're both doing now. Luna: That's a nice way to keep the relationship warm without making it transactional. Lucas: Right. And during that catch-up, you can naturally mention that you're keeping your network fresh, and you'd be happy to help them too. That reciprocity matters. Luna: And here's a subtle but important point: don't just rely on former bosses. Peers, direct reports, even clients can be powerful references, especially if they can speak to your leadership or collaboration style. Lucas: Great addition. A former direct report can say things about your management style that a boss never could. That diversity makes your reference set more credible. Luna: So what do you do if you discover a reference is weak, but you feel obligated to use them because they're senior or well-connected? Lucas: That's a tough spot. But I'd say: don't use them. A weak reference can take you out of the running faster than a lack of a big name. You can always say you've got three references who are more current, and that's a legitimate reason. Luna: And it's better to be honest with yourself about that upfront than to get burned later. Lucas: Exactly. So let's wrap this up with a simple mantra: quality over quantity, preparation over presumption. Take thirty minutes this week to audit your list, reconnect with two key people, and ask them the two questions we talked about. You'll be amazed at how much clarity that brings. Luna: And if you're listening and thinking 'I don't have a list,' that's your starting point. Reach out to three people you've worked with and just say 'hey, I'm keeping my professional network warm — want to grab a coffee?' Lucas: Yeah, and that's the thing: a reference audit isn't about job hunting. It's about maintaining the relationships that make your career possible. Do it twice a year, and you'll never be caught off guard. Luna: And you'll also become a better reference for other people, because you'll know what it takes to be prepared. Lucas: That's a perfect closing thought. So, here's your one thing to remember: your references are a living asset. Audit them, feed them, and they'll carry you forward. Thanks for listening, and we'll catch you next time.