Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 1 - Arachnophobia
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Boom Shaka laka. It's our numberwan of the Ben Malor Show.
- 0:07Speaker 1: It's Friday, the twenty second day of May. And a
- 0:12Speaker 1: reminder on this Friday that the podcast, but we do
- 0:18Speaker 1: it every weekend, every single week in the Fifth Hour Podcast.
- 0:22Speaker 1: New episodes will be up today, Saturday, and Sunday. Today's episode,
- 0:26Speaker 1: we plan on talking about a lifetime Achievement award that
- 0:31Speaker 1: a member of the Mallard Militia has been the first
- 0:34Speaker 1: listener that has gone out and gotten a Mallor Show tattoo.
- 0:41Speaker 1: We have not talked about this before. I was trying
- 0:43Speaker 1: to process it. You're gonna hear the behind the scenes.
- 0:47Speaker 1: You'll find out which listener has crossed over and gotten
- 0:52Speaker 1: Malor body art. I'm not making this up, by the way.
- 0:56Speaker 1: I thought it was fake, but it's not. And we'll
- 0:58Speaker 1: explain that here an hour that's on the Fifth Hour Podcast.
- 1:01Speaker 1: Make sure to listen to that later today. Here in
- 1:03Speaker 1: our number one the NBA Eastern Conference Finals Game number two,
- 1:07Speaker 1: where did things go sideways for the Calves? Well, I
- 1:09Speaker 1: think we know that the third quarter was not kind. Also,
- 1:13Speaker 1: why do the Calves think that we're dumb enough to
- 1:16Speaker 1: buy this? Donovan Mitchell health excuse. Mitchell has been okay.
- 1:20Speaker 1: He has not been an Alpha for the Cleveland basketball
- 1:23Speaker 1: team in the first two games of the Eastern Conference Finals.
- 1:26Speaker 1: And is the series over? Is the Eastern Conference Finals
- 1:29Speaker 1: series over? Is it in the bag for the Knickerbockers?
- 1:32Speaker 1: What's in the bag? Will analyze that and a whole
- 1:36Speaker 1: lot more without any kind of hero worship. It's our
- 1:40Speaker 1: number one. Well, you cannot trust a spider, you can't
- 1:48Speaker 1: do it. Welcome in the beginning of another night of
- 1:53Speaker 1: the Ben Mahlor Show. We are in the air ev
- 1:59Speaker 1: Re where in Unison, as we have delicious nougat in
- 2:04Speaker 1: the middle right there, coast to coast, border the border
- 2:08Speaker 1: and beyond on the vast and prodigiously powerful microphones of FSR.
- 2:16Speaker 1: As we sit on the bully pulpit right here, hanging
- 2:19Speaker 1: out am monating live from the Shake as we do
- 2:24Speaker 1: the old Shake and Bake on the graveyard shift. Getron
- 2:28Speaker 1: teed human from the world famous Fox Sports Radio studios
- 2:32Speaker 1: were far out. Dave who no showed He went a
- 2:36Speaker 1: wall on the Big Mallard meet and greet there from Ohio.
- 2:39Speaker 1: He tells us this hour made possible in part by
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- 3:08Speaker 1: that tire buying should be. It should be that way,
- 3:15Speaker 1: absolutely one thousand percent should be that way. And that
- 3:21Speaker 1: was not enough. Alam Dalou in the basis, what about
- 3:24Speaker 1: express employment professionals? And I said, you know what, I'm
- 3:28Speaker 1: glad that you reminded me of that, because otherwise I
- 3:31Speaker 1: would have forgotten. If you're skilled in manufacturing, skip the
- 3:35Speaker 1: online job search nightmare. Express employment professionals connect skilled machinist,
- 3:41Speaker 1: welders and technicians with contract and full time manufacturing jobs.
- 3:46Speaker 1: Express employment professionals. So our lead this hour play the
- 3:51Speaker 1: hit small man, play the hits. One of our old
- 3:53Speaker 1: bosses back in the day used to say, so we
- 3:55Speaker 1: will start out in midtown Manhattan. They like to call
- 4:00Speaker 1: it the Mecca Madison Square Garden. And that was the
- 4:04Speaker 1: playhouse for the main of it. The only game on
- 4:09Speaker 1: the card in pro bouncy Ball, Cleveland and New York
- 4:13Speaker 1: squaring it up. You know, the tail of the tape
- 4:15Speaker 1: coming in epic choke job by the Clevelanders in game one.
- 4:19Speaker 1: Now game two of the Eastern Finals. Did you watch? No,
- 4:23Speaker 1: you were oh, you were watching? Okay, all right, Maybe
- 4:26Speaker 1: were't paying attention. So Josh Hart a scrub, A dub dub,
- 4:31Speaker 1: A scrub. Josh Hart had a night to remember. Twenty
- 4:36Speaker 1: six points, career high twenty six points. I'm told that's good.
- 4:40Speaker 1: Jalen Brunson did nothing in the first half and then
- 4:43Speaker 1: made up for a lot of that in the second.
- 4:45Speaker 1: Have you had nineteen points in fourteen assists? As the
- 4:50Speaker 1: Knickerbockers are halfway home to their first finals appearance since
- 4:57Speaker 1: we flipped over to the two thousands, think about that.
- 5:00Speaker 1: If you're in your late twenties, you never remember the
- 5:04Speaker 1: Knicks getting to the NBA finals. That's nineteen ninety nine.
- 5:09Speaker 1: I was a child in nineteen ninety nine, and so
- 5:12Speaker 1: here we are as the Knicks beat the Cadavers, and
- 5:16Speaker 1: that's where we are. Michale Bridges had nineteen as well.
- 5:20Speaker 1: Karl Anthony Towns a muted eighteen points and thirteen rebounds.
- 5:25Speaker 1: So the Knicks have now won nine straight games, although
- 5:28Speaker 1: four of those against Philadelphia don't really count because come on,
- 5:30Speaker 1: place and Atlanta is not very good and the fact
- 5:33Speaker 1: they lost a couple to Atlanta early is rather shocking.
- 5:35Speaker 1: But they won nine nine to row, which is seemingly
- 5:39Speaker 1: on the right track there, and so that is the
- 5:41Speaker 1: NBA's longest postseason winning streak since way back. I mean,
- 5:45Speaker 1: you gotta be really old to remember when the Boston Celtics,
- 5:48Speaker 1: that great Celtic team ripped off ten straight wins back
- 5:51Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four. Think of all the two year
- 5:54Speaker 1: olds that don't really remember that. My god, Well, the
- 5:57Speaker 1: better story is in the losing lock. You know what
- 6:00Speaker 1: we'd like to do here. We like to treat the
- 6:02Speaker 1: losers like a pinata, because everyone loves a winner. Everyone
- 6:05Speaker 1: just sucks up to a winner. They do the old hawktua.
- 6:08Speaker 1: If you win, if you lose, not so much. So
- 6:10Speaker 1: it's good jumping off point, Let's discuss the question where
- 6:14Speaker 1: did things go sideways? For the Cavaliers in Game number two?
- 6:19Speaker 1: Where did things go sideway? So I've got Jiffy, Pop
- 6:23Speaker 1: History Channel and church and we'll put all of these
- 6:27Speaker 1: things together and we're gonna carry some extra baggage, is
- 6:31Speaker 1: what we're going to do, because Cleveland they've got a
- 6:34Speaker 1: lot of explaining to do. Now. Kenny Atkinson, who sounded
- 6:40Speaker 1: about as soft as you could possibly say, what a
- 6:42Speaker 1: gutless weasel. This guy sounded like after game one when
- 6:45Speaker 1: James Harden embarrassed the franchise and there's Atkinson out there
- 6:50Speaker 1: and he refused to criticize James Harden. What a little weasel.
- 6:54Speaker 1: So here's Atkinson again, who in this game. The Cavaliers' strategy,
- 7:00Speaker 1: it wasn't just Atkinson, it was the nerds as well.
- 7:02Speaker 1: They're like, well, you know, we're gonna we're gonna double
- 7:04Speaker 1: dog there Josh Hart to beat us. We don't think
- 7:08Speaker 1: that Josh Hart is any good. He really hasn't been
- 7:11Speaker 1: very good. He's just roster spam. He's in the rotation.
- 7:14Speaker 1: He's not very good. He's had a good career in
- 7:16Speaker 1: terms of length, but he's not like a real impact guy.
- 7:19Speaker 1: So Cleveland was like, all right, we're going to double
- 7:21Speaker 1: dog there. Josh Hart to beat us with the jump shot,
- 7:25Speaker 1: and Heart responded by opening up a fireworks stand, which
- 7:29Speaker 1: I think is illegal in New York. He did it anyway,
- 7:33Speaker 1: My god, heart was left open. That was the plan,
- 7:39Speaker 1: that was by design, that was the blueprint, and he
- 7:42Speaker 1: punished them from the perimeter career playoff game there. So Cleveland,
- 7:48Speaker 1: they sat down for dinner in game two, and at
- 7:50Speaker 1: some point in the third quarter they realized, wait a minute,
- 7:54Speaker 1: we're the entree. What's up with that? And that was
- 7:57Speaker 1: the Jiffy pop meltdown we're calling it because they allowed
- 8:01Speaker 1: an eighteen oh run. They being the Cleveland basketball team,
- 8:06Speaker 1: the Calves did not collapse. They popped. They sizzled and
- 8:11Speaker 1: burned in real time. There. The game was tied up
- 8:14Speaker 1: at fifty three and then all of a sudden, they're
- 8:16Speaker 1: down by eighteen. And it happened in a five minute stretch.
- 8:19Speaker 1: The Calves were slipping around like they were guarding and
- 8:23Speaker 1: their feet were in movie theater buttered popcorn all over
- 8:27Speaker 1: the floor.
- 8:27Speaker 2: There.
- 8:28Speaker 1: James Harden, now he wasn't the worst of the worst
- 8:30Speaker 1: in this game. However, he is the gift that keeps
- 8:34Speaker 1: on giving. He was out there for that eighteen to
- 8:36Speaker 1: oher run and did nothing. Bupkiss and Unfortunately for Cleveland,
- 8:41Speaker 1: the Knickerbockers are the ones that are unwrapping James Harden,
- 8:45Speaker 1: who is the gift that keeps giving here as Harden
- 8:47Speaker 1: was not a defender. He was like a toll booth,
- 8:51Speaker 1: which they don't have many tollbooth operas anymore. There's a
- 8:54Speaker 1: few if you go, you know, go further up there.
- 8:56Speaker 1: In like Maine, they've got toll booth operations, but elsewhere
- 8:59Speaker 1: they got rid of most of them. So Brunson he
- 9:02Speaker 1: paid as well, He paid the fee at the toll booth,
- 9:04Speaker 1: kept on driving, and in that eighteen to oh run
- 9:08Speaker 1: in the third quarter, Heart had nine of the points.
- 9:11Speaker 1: Brunson had seven, and Cleveland had no clue how to
- 9:16Speaker 1: do anything, how to guard any of them, or who
- 9:19Speaker 1: to blame. It was a good afternoon, good evening, and
- 9:22Speaker 1: good night situation. Technically, there was plenty of time for
- 9:25Speaker 1: Cleveland to come back. They just did not do that.
- 9:27Speaker 1: So the Cavs were outplayed. They were saw taid a
- 9:32Speaker 1: little seasonal little pepper on top there and serve with
- 9:35Speaker 1: a side of humiliation in a doggy bag to go
- 9:40Speaker 1: all right now. Meanwhile, the James Harden continues to wear
- 9:45Speaker 1: the dunce cap as we've said, but the question seemed
- 9:49Speaker 1: to be mostly after Game two about Spide of Mitchell. Now,
- 9:53Speaker 1: remember the story was that this guy Donavan Mitchell wanted
- 9:57Speaker 1: James Harden to be on the team and this was
- 9:59Speaker 1: going to put clear over the top. And they're in
- 10:01Speaker 1: the Final four and all that, and so the questions
- 10:04Speaker 1: about the headliner, Spider Mitchell's health persisting. The Cavs writ
- 10:09Speaker 1: now down two games in the best of seven series,
- 10:13Speaker 1: and Mitchell twice in the last couple of days has
- 10:15Speaker 1: been asked if he's playing through any kind of an injury,
- 10:19Speaker 1: because people are convinced he's sucked at a time he
- 10:24Speaker 1: cannot suck when you're sitting in the vomit comet. People
- 10:27Speaker 1: were asking questions when you're riding the vomit comment and
- 10:30Speaker 1: he's riding the vomit com and so he was asked
- 10:34Speaker 1: about to hit the health. He said, quote, I'm great, great, great,
- 10:38Speaker 1: three greats, he said. And still the storyline continues because
- 10:42Speaker 1: at halftime you're watching the broadcast there with Mike Breen
- 10:47Speaker 1: and those other guys I don't know who they are.
- 10:48Speaker 1: But Kenny Atkinson agreed with the idea that Mitchell was
- 10:52Speaker 1: lacking the usual burst on his acceleration, and that was
- 10:58Speaker 1: at halftime. I had better stats in the second half.
- 11:01Speaker 1: So the question, why do the Calves think that we're
- 11:05Speaker 1: dumb dumb, dumb dumb enough to buy that this dot
- 11:08Speaker 1: of Mitchell health excuse is a real thing, all right?
- 11:12Speaker 1: So the Calves have to believe that you and I
- 11:16Speaker 1: are absolute idiots morons. Right, So you blew a twenty
- 11:24Speaker 1: point lead over twenty points in game one, you had
- 11:29Speaker 1: a complete I want to get away end of the
- 11:32Speaker 1: game in in overtime. Then you have a clunker here.
- 11:34Speaker 1: So it's clunker after clunker, and suddenly the organization in
- 11:40Speaker 1: Northern Ohio, the pro Bouncy Ball team, is running the
- 11:42Speaker 1: History Channel pilot, the Donovan Mitchell Mystery Injury road Show.
- 11:49Speaker 1: It's like a spinoff of American Pickers. Donovan Mitchell himself,
- 11:53Speaker 1: as we say, is great, great, great, three greats, three greats.
- 11:57Speaker 1: And yet the Calves coach there whispering to the media, well,
- 12:00Speaker 1: you know, you know, maybe he lacks his usual burst.
- 12:04Speaker 1: And to that I put the hand up and I
- 12:07Speaker 1: say stop, just stop, Okay. If Spider is on the court,
- 12:13Speaker 1: which he was, he's fair game for criticism. His numbers
- 12:17Speaker 1: are mathematically within the margin of error. However, they're not impactful.
- 12:23Speaker 1: He's not the true alpha. Now you think of the
- 12:27Speaker 1: big time stars in that sport and what they do
- 12:31Speaker 1: in the postseason, they're supposed to do to put a
- 12:33Speaker 1: team to a higher level, and he's not that guy.
- 12:36Speaker 1: You're not that guy, pal And in the final four
- 12:39Speaker 1: of the NBA. This is not a it's Eastern Conference Finals.
- 12:42Speaker 1: It's not some kind of sympathy potluck dinner situation. Cleveland
- 12:46Speaker 1: desperately using this injury narrative and they're doing it with
- 12:50Speaker 1: plausible deniabilities way. I don't know, yeah, maybe not. It
- 12:55Speaker 1: could be. You know, it's like this human shield because
- 12:59Speaker 1: I believe they don't want to admit the harsh truth,
- 13:03Speaker 1: the naked truth, that their superstar of superstars, their franchise player,
- 13:08Speaker 1: is shrinking. There's a lot of shrinkage, like he jumped
- 13:12Speaker 1: into a very cold body of water. In this case,
- 13:16Speaker 1: it's bright lights and it's I don't believe it's a
- 13:19Speaker 1: health issue, that it's a pressure cooker. He's playing. If
- 13:23Speaker 1: he's injured and he's not playing, that's one thing. But
- 13:25Speaker 1: he's playing. Everyone's dinged up at this particular point, and
- 13:28Speaker 1: so Mitchell is fading in the first two games here,
- 13:33Speaker 1: you had a chance, certainly win game one, Game two
- 13:35Speaker 1: not so much. But you didn't play all that well
- 13:37Speaker 1: in either one of the games, even though your numbers
- 13:38Speaker 1: were okay. It seems like the Cavs are just terrified
- 13:41Speaker 1: to say that part out loud. Now last word. So
- 13:45Speaker 1: in the final couple of minutes, the New York fans
- 13:47Speaker 1: were chanting nicks in four nicks in four game gives
- 13:53Speaker 1: garbage time at the end. So the question is the
- 13:56Speaker 1: Eastern Conference Finals of twenty twenty six in the back
- 14:00Speaker 1: for the Knickerbockers. What's in the bag? Is the series
- 14:03Speaker 1: in the back? So I jotted down on my scorecard.
- 14:07Speaker 1: I got two letters here and oh, the series is
- 14:12Speaker 1: not in the bag for New York, no matter the
- 14:16Speaker 1: hubris coming out of the fan base. That's mostly alcohol. However,
- 14:20Speaker 1: the calves, I will say, obviously, the calves right now
- 14:24Speaker 1: at this moment are wobbling like a newborn baby draft
- 14:29Speaker 1: struggling to get on to its long, wobbly legs. That's
- 14:32Speaker 1: the calves. They need some divine intervention here. Apparently a
- 14:36Speaker 1: chiropractor would be nice, possibly a sleep study. I love
- 14:40Speaker 1: the fact they're complaining about the schedule. Here's Kenny Atkinson,
- 14:44Speaker 1: the head coach of the Cavaliers. As the Knicks had
- 14:48Speaker 1: a lot of time off, the Calves have not. Here's
- 14:51Speaker 1: the question and the answer. Here here's Atkinson on the
- 14:54Speaker 1: rest advantage for New York.
- 14:55Speaker 3: We know their rest advantage, so getting home always helps
- 14:59Speaker 3: with that. But definitely Pubby didn't have the juice tonight
- 15:04Speaker 3: that we needed to, which is kind of you know,
- 15:08Speaker 3: I was going to hit it sometimes.
- 15:10Speaker 1: Yeah, So this was the general theme here, and it's like,
- 15:13Speaker 1: oh man, all we didn't have enough rest there. So
- 15:16Speaker 1: they're belly aching about having to play what it's gonna
- 15:20Speaker 1: be seven games in thirteen days. Game three is coming
- 15:26Speaker 1: up on Saturday, so seven it'll be seven games in
- 15:29Speaker 1: thirteen days. And to that, I say, congratulations. That's what
- 15:33Speaker 1: we in the working world call a job. In fact,
- 15:37Speaker 1: that's not even the job. Imagine complaining about having worked
- 15:39Speaker 1: seven days of work and have six days off. Like
- 15:44Speaker 1: I've met a lot of you over the years, and
- 15:45Speaker 1: many of you have two or three jobs and you're
- 15:48Speaker 1: busting your ass and you get no days off, not
- 15:50Speaker 1: even holidays and all that. So seven days of work
- 15:54Speaker 1: in six days off. That doesn't seem like adversity. On
- 15:57Speaker 1: this side of the microphone. That sounds like a nice
- 15:59Speaker 1: days package. How great would that be? So let me
- 16:02Speaker 1: do the radio show on Monday. I'll take Tuesday off.
- 16:06Speaker 1: I'll then do it on Wednesday. I'll take Thursday off
- 16:09Speaker 1: and then oh my God, sign me up for that.
- 16:12Speaker 1: Oh man, that would be wonderful. So Cleveland whining about
- 16:17Speaker 1: fatigue is the peak trip to the church of victimhood,
- 16:22Speaker 1: the NBA's version of my dog ate my homework. He's
- 16:25Speaker 1: not fair, it's not fair. Now. The truth is, the
- 16:29Speaker 1: calves right now are stuck between the devil and the
- 16:31Speaker 1: deep blue sea here, and both, by the way, both
- 16:35Speaker 1: better at closing the job, the devil and the deep
- 16:38Speaker 1: blue Sea than the Knickerbocker's opponent here. The calves are
- 16:42Speaker 1: so they don't need an adjustment at this point. They
- 16:46Speaker 1: might want to bring in a rabbi, a priest, a shaman,
- 16:50Speaker 1: a couple of witches and just put some good holy
- 16:55Speaker 1: power out there, because they're not the cavaliers right now.
- 16:57Speaker 1: They are the living up to their moniker, the cadat
- 17:00Speaker 1: the way they've been playing in these last couple of games,
- 17:03Speaker 1: so it's not over. It is getting late early though
- 17:06Speaker 1: for Cleveland. The sun is setting and I don't think
- 17:09Speaker 1: they've found where the light switch is at this particular point.
- 17:12Speaker 1: Then where's the lights. I don't know where the lights are?
- 17:14Speaker 1: I don't know. And so the season not officially over yet,
- 17:19Speaker 1: but the oh bit has already been drafted. You've got
- 17:23Speaker 1: a draft of the obituary. And if the Cavs lose
- 17:26Speaker 1: in Game three on Saturday, Saturday Saturday, the people over
- 17:31Speaker 1: there at ESPN might just flex the rest of the
- 17:33Speaker 1: series and have Charles Barkley breakdown pickleball and then just
- 17:38Speaker 1: see how that goes. Let's just do some hot pickleball
- 17:40Speaker 1: talk and that'll be that. My goodness, it is the
- 17:45Speaker 1: Ben Mallard Show. We are just warming up the engine
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- 21:26Speaker 1: cannon will be used against you in the court of sports.
- 21:29Speaker 1: Radio all, right super Market steve writes in he, says
- 21:33Speaker 1: thanks for the roadmap of The thursday night. Schedule i'm
- 21:36Speaker 1: pretty sure that it is the same schedule you have Every. Thursday,
- 21:41Speaker 1: now how about the? Rundown, well, again that's an add
- 21:45Speaker 1: on Items Supermarket, Steve and they don't pay me to
- 21:50Speaker 1: do the social. Media, now IF x wants to pay,
- 21:52Speaker 1: me They i'll make sure to get that down all the.
- 21:55Speaker 1: Time most of the audience is not ON. X most
- 21:59Speaker 1: of the audience is consuming the product. Organically you are
- 22:04Speaker 1: such a little Schmuck Supermarket. Steve you're such a diva
- 22:09Speaker 1: that you need special. Treatment and screw, You that's WHAT i.
- 22:15Speaker 1: Say Nature, boy breaking down THE nba playoffs says The
- 22:18Speaker 1: calves are playing like ass is what he. Says that's,
- 22:23Speaker 1: good very, Nice, michael And tulsa writes In michael, says great,
- 22:28Speaker 1: monologue AND i realize you are a contractually obligator to
- 22:32Speaker 1: play The, hits mo, man but The east. Please the
- 22:36Speaker 1: de Facto championship is about to start With game, three
- 22:40Speaker 1: which will be coming up here tonight In San. Antonio every,
- 22:44Speaker 1: man woman and child knows this except For mom's going
- 22:47Speaker 1: To angels. Games, Well mom's going To angel. Games they
- 22:50Speaker 1: don't care about wins and. Losses, says you, Know, michael
- 22:52Speaker 1: it's just about a nice, product a safe. Environment that's,
- 22:57Speaker 1: right nice place for the kids to go hang. Out
- 23:00Speaker 1: one of the all time bonehead Quotes Artie, marino The
- 23:03Speaker 1: angels owner doing it. Again not A burner writes in,
- 23:06Speaker 1: says are we sure that that smell of smoke in
- 23:09Speaker 1: the studio the other night Wasn't lorena heating a foil
- 23:12Speaker 1: wrapped item in the? Microwave?
- 23:14Speaker 5: Ah someone does, remember, WELL.
- 23:18Speaker 1: I did Advise lorena in an off the air. CONVERSATION
- 23:21Speaker 1: i don't know if we should talk about this on the,
- 23:22Speaker 1: air BUT i said that you should start your own
- 23:24Speaker 1: YouTube channel and just do. Cooking and you responded by
- 23:29Speaker 1: telling me that you don't really. Cook AND i, said
- 23:31Speaker 1: that's the whole. Point that's the whole.
- 23:33Speaker 5: Point, yeah it would be a hot mess of a,
- 23:35Speaker 5: disaster which is exactly why it might do very.
- 23:37Speaker 1: Well it would do, Great it would do. Great you'd
- 23:40Speaker 1: make some money on. That it would be a great. Endeavor.
- 23:43Speaker 1: Absolutely late night drug tester, SAYS i didn't catch THE.
- 23:46Speaker 1: NBA i was watching THE nhl. Instead if you could
- 23:49Speaker 1: pick a team to cheer for based on the local,
- 23:53Speaker 1: cuisine he, says who would you, pick and then he,
- 23:56Speaker 1: says you Got montreal with the, Poutine carol with the,
- 24:01Speaker 1: Barbecue Rocky mountain, oysters and The vegas. Buffet all, Right
- 24:07Speaker 1: so right off the, top we eliminate The Rocky Mountain.
- 24:11Speaker 1: Oysters i've already done. That i'm good on, that as you,
- 24:13Speaker 1: know late night drug. Testers so that's. Eliminated and Then
- 24:17Speaker 1: i'm going to eliminate The vegas. Buffet and here's, why
- 24:20Speaker 1: Because vegas has pretty much eliminated the. Buffet there's very
- 24:24Speaker 1: few hotels that have the buffet and it's mostly a
- 24:29Speaker 1: relic of the. Past have the bull TESTICLES i don't.
- 24:35Speaker 1: THINK i don't think So denver the testicles In denver
- 24:38Speaker 1: they might have. That so then it comes down To
- 24:40Speaker 1: carolina barbecue And montreal. Poutine and, WELL i have Had
- 24:45Speaker 1: carolina barbecue And i've enjoyed. It it's not as good
- 24:49Speaker 1: As Kansas city barbecue Or texas. Barbecue so in The
- 24:53Speaker 1: Big board of, barbecue not a list For terry And,
- 24:55Speaker 1: england but The Big board of, Barbecue carolina is Trailing
- 24:59Speaker 1: Kansas city And, texas which is pretty. Similar it's more
- 25:01Speaker 1: of a brisket type. Barbecue SO i can't Believe i'm saying,
- 25:06Speaker 1: this But i'm Going montreal with the. Poutine i'm going
- 25:09Speaker 1: to The montreal poutine with the, gravy the cheese curds
- 25:12Speaker 1: on top of the. Fries i'm Gonna i'm gonna Go montreal.
- 25:15Speaker 1: Poutine that's a hot, take right. There absolutely what? Else
- 25:20Speaker 1: Ferg dog rights in from That Winter wonderland In, Fullerton he,
- 25:23Speaker 1: says even with only four teams left in THE Nba,
- 25:26Speaker 1: playoffs The calves still haven't cracked the top five in
- 25:30Speaker 1: my WEEKLY Nba power. Rankings this has never happened before
- 25:35Speaker 1: The calves are. Cooked, yeah there you. Go brock rights
- 25:39Speaker 1: in From Parts, Unknown he, says The New York knicks
- 25:41Speaker 1: are clearly proving to be the NBA's third best. Team,
- 25:46Speaker 1: yeah that's a great. Honor you're the third best and
- 25:50Speaker 1: if you, win you get to go to THE Nba
- 25:51Speaker 1: finals and play one of the two better teams than.
- 25:56Speaker 1: You so what could possibly possibly go? Wrong my? Goodness
- 26:02Speaker 1: eight seven seven ninety nine On fox is the call in.
- 26:05Speaker 1: Number we have lame jokes coming up in hour. Three
- 26:08Speaker 1: if you want to try to squeeze in some lame,
- 26:10Speaker 1: jokes we DO q AND a jokes make sure to
- 26:13Speaker 1: put your name and city if you want. Credit Ben
- 26:16Speaker 1: Malers show at gmail dot. Com That's Ben Malers show
- 26:21Speaker 1: at gmail dot. Com we'll have lame jokes of the
- 26:25Speaker 1: week that'll be coming up a little bit later in hour,
- 26:29Speaker 1: three which is actually a lot later than right. Now
- 26:31Speaker 1: it's not a little bit, later it's a lot. Later
- 26:34Speaker 1: and we were planning on doing a verbal octagon right.
- 26:37Speaker 1: Now we have it all, booked all ready to. Go
- 26:40Speaker 1: so let's check in on the verbal. Octon let's say
- 26:43Speaker 1: hello to Blind Sea, bass who is in The Greater
- 26:48Speaker 1: nashville area and has accept it a matchup with our
- 26:56Speaker 1: friend who's also In, tennessee MISTER swn and that has not,
- 27:01Speaker 1: happened Swamp, Billy so Welcome Blind Sea. Bass.
- 27:07Speaker 2: BENJAMIN i am so. Disappointed Like i've been sparring with
- 27:11Speaker 2: a buddy of mine, allway you, know trying to keep
- 27:14Speaker 2: it clean between me and a, brother and for the
- 27:16Speaker 2: most PART i. Have and, yeah WHEN i Asked coop
- 27:19Speaker 2: And coop said he still hadn't heard from that swamp,
- 27:21Speaker 2: rat like it really really.
- 27:24Speaker 1: Dragged, well it's it's it's, disappointing it's it's it's. Shameful
- 27:29Speaker 1: uh you should be, happy, though that you are such
- 27:32Speaker 1: a tough. Oppony you're in this guy's head that he
- 27:36Speaker 1: he pulled a jet who. Fled think about, that that
- 27:39Speaker 1: he is so intimidated by going against Blind Sea. Bass
- 27:43Speaker 1: that Swamp billy is hiding in a swamp somewhere right
- 27:48Speaker 1: now and he's too afraid to call up because of.
- 27:51Speaker 1: You and that's that's a powerful. Thing that you intimidated,
- 27:55Speaker 1: him just your mere presence and the idea that you
- 27:58Speaker 1: were going to be throwing the these verbal. Haymakers he
- 28:01Speaker 1: couldn't handle. It he could not handle, It Ben, ben my.
- 28:04Speaker 5: BROTHER i guess that's what happens when you're known all
- 28:07Speaker 5: across the. State nobody wants to mess with. You so
- 28:11Speaker 5: he probably Got he probably asked if you you, know
- 28:13Speaker 5: probably asked around about me LIKE i did. HIM i
- 28:17Speaker 5: bounce some stuff out THAT.
- 28:18Speaker 2: I was gonna.
- 28:18Speaker 5: Use i'll save it if he calls.
- 28:20Speaker 1: In, Yes, sam don't use it, now don't you?
- 28:23Speaker 2: Know and?
- 28:23Speaker 1: Listen so, yeah, yeah.
- 28:26Speaker 5: But, yeah he called, around And i'm known all across the,
- 28:28Speaker 5: state so they probably told.
- 28:30Speaker 2: Me you, know you don't want to mess with this.
- 28:32Speaker 5: Boote so he probably backed, Off like you, said act
- 28:34Speaker 5: like a swamp creator crawled back off or swamp ray
- 28:38Speaker 5: and crawled off back in his little hole and waiting
- 28:41Speaker 5: until the coast is clear before he calls. In, MAN
- 28:43Speaker 5: i think we should do to him like they Done.
- 28:45Speaker 5: Rice you should bar his butt from the radio for thirty.
- 28:49Speaker 1: Days WELL i wouldn't have. To he hasn't called. In
- 28:53Speaker 1: he's he's barred. Himself but remember the great line from
- 28:56Speaker 1: Sun zoo The art of, war most battles are one
- 29:00Speaker 1: before they even. Start and that's proof right, here because,
- 29:03Speaker 1: you my, friend have Won Blind sea. Bass. Uh this
- 29:07Speaker 1: is How jed Who fled got his nickname Because jed
- 29:09Speaker 1: was in The octagon and it was very memorable as
- 29:13Speaker 1: he bailed out on The octagon and Became jed Who.
- 29:16Speaker 1: Fled he had a different name before. That and and
- 29:19Speaker 1: so your, guys Swamp, billy you were so remarkable that
- 29:23Speaker 1: he has run the other way and you did not
- 29:26Speaker 1: have to bomb and weave as we.
- 29:27Speaker 2: Said so, yeah that's why that's Why i'm putting up
- 29:31Speaker 2: and we you, know put us up for the vote
- 29:33Speaker 2: with the. Militia he's no longer known as Swamp. Billy
- 29:37Speaker 2: he is swamp.
- 29:38Speaker 5: Rat because he ran like a little, rat like a
- 29:42Speaker 5: little scared. Rat so that is what he should be
- 29:44Speaker 5: dubbed from here here.
- 29:46Speaker 1: Forth all, right duly, noted we'll see the voice of the,
- 29:51Speaker 1: people will find out what they. Think all, right thank,
- 29:53Speaker 1: you blind see, best keep. Listening who knows he might call.
- 29:55Speaker 1: IN i doubt if, you we're gonna declare you the.
- 29:58Speaker 1: Winner so there he goes. Amazing it's it's Like Mike
- 30:03Speaker 1: tyson Punch out back in the day or. There it
- 30:06Speaker 1: just you can't, knock you can't, stop you can't. Stop
- 30:10Speaker 1: he's out of control. There body, blow body, blow body.
- 30:14Speaker 4: Blow.
- 30:15Speaker 1: Yeah if you've never heard the ocagonagon, yeah, yeah, yeah
- 30:20Speaker 1: it's always. Fun you, know we all try to figure it.
- 30:23Speaker 1: Out we usually do it Like Mike tyson Punch, out
- 30:27Speaker 1: where we have you Know, tyson then you Got soda
- 30:30Speaker 1: ppinske king hippo with the bald. BULL i guess Swamp
- 30:36Speaker 1: billy is Glass. Joe you have no idea what that, Is,
- 30:40Speaker 1: Lorena but Glass joe was always the first opponent On
- 30:42Speaker 1: Mike tyson Punch, out that great iconic video game from
- 30:45Speaker 1: a million years, Ago and that was always when you battled,
- 30:48Speaker 1: first and that was the easiest opponent and then you
- 30:50Speaker 1: worked your way up to the other great opponents. There so,
- 30:54Speaker 1: anyway it is The Ben Maler. Show so we mentioned
- 30:57Speaker 1: if you tease, something you got paid. Off So dennis
- 31:00Speaker 1: The menace and The, relic, Well dennis The menace would
- 31:02Speaker 1: Be Dennis schroeder Or shrewder rather of the, cadavers and
- 31:07Speaker 1: he is getting. Roasted people are having some fun with
- 31:13Speaker 1: him because moments after The cleveland basketball team took it
- 31:19Speaker 1: on the chin In game two with The garden There,
- 31:22Speaker 1: shrewder who had all OF i believe four points and
- 31:25Speaker 1: four rebounds and three assists off the, bench didn't play
- 31:28Speaker 1: very much and he was there to try to Stop Jalen.
- 31:32Speaker 1: Brunson he did okay Until brunson decided to kick his
- 31:37Speaker 1: ass late late in the, game and then moments after the,
- 31:43Speaker 1: game moments after the game calves down in a two
- 31:46Speaker 1: to zero hole in the best of seven, Series shrewder
- 31:50Speaker 1: posted pictures of himself On instagram just a few moments
- 31:55Speaker 1: after and he wrote zero and two in the, caption
- 32:01Speaker 1: and of course immediately was just getting destroyed by the
- 32:07Speaker 1: bots and the algorithm and was being charboiled for the.
- 32:13Speaker 1: Timing people are very, upset like what are you? Doing
- 32:16Speaker 1: why are you posting? This the team is not. Winning
- 32:20Speaker 1: the game just. Ended it's Like dennis The menace ran
- 32:25Speaker 1: into the locker room and the first thing he did
- 32:27Speaker 1: before he showered was grab his phone, too because you
- 32:30Speaker 1: got to have engagement on this social media you gotta have.
- 32:33Speaker 1: It and as far as The relic is, concerned that
- 32:36Speaker 1: would be Former knickerbockers And rocketts Coach Jeff Van, gundy
- 32:42Speaker 1: currently A clipper assistant. Coach Jeff Van gundy said to
- 32:45Speaker 1: be a finalist for AN nba head coaching. Job not
- 32:49Speaker 1: a good, one, however it is AN nba, job and
- 32:53Speaker 1: there's not very many of. These that would be The Portland,
- 32:56Speaker 1: trailblazers the team that is run by a tightwad becoming
- 33:01Speaker 1: a legendary for his frugal ways and hadn't gotten the job.
- 33:08Speaker 1: Yet Jeff Van, gundy, however at this Point Van gundy
- 33:13Speaker 1: is said to be one of the finalists for the,
- 33:15Speaker 1: job so he gave us the great quote he was
- 33:18Speaker 1: what a wonderful Broadcaster Van gundy. Was and the people
- 33:22Speaker 1: over there AT abc have had a parade of just
- 33:25Speaker 1: losers to try to Replace Jeff Van, gundy who gave
- 33:28Speaker 1: us The make Or Miss league and all, that and
- 33:31Speaker 1: was so good at. Broadcasting how good Was Jeff Van.
- 33:34Speaker 1: Gundy he was so good that THE nba they, said
- 33:39Speaker 1: we got to get rid of this guy because he gave,
- 33:41Speaker 1: realistic astute. Commentary he ripped the. League he was common
- 33:47Speaker 1: sense when it came to the referees and all, that
- 33:49Speaker 1: and you can't have. That so instead they've Had they
- 33:54Speaker 1: had that podcast, GUY Jj, reddick they had that woman
- 33:57Speaker 1: with the annoying, Voice Doris. Burke who do they have?
- 34:01Speaker 1: Now some they Have Richard, jefferson who, sucks and then
- 34:06Speaker 1: who's the other. GUY i don't even know. Who the
- 34:07Speaker 1: other guys some white, DUDE i don't. Know they're not very.
- 34:10Speaker 1: Good so they haven't been able to find anybody to
- 34:14Speaker 1: Replace Jeff Van. GUNDY i guess he can't do that.
- 34:17Speaker 1: Anymore and so they've got a bunch of people that
- 34:19Speaker 1: have tried to replace. Him the substitutes have not got.
- 34:22Speaker 1: Undone So I'm i'm pulling For Van gundy to get
- 34:24Speaker 1: the treblizer's. Job not that you're gonna win anything. THERE
- 34:29Speaker 1: i like the the, moxie like my dog That Ben gundy.
- 34:34Speaker 1: Has it is the Ban Mahllor. Show now time now
- 34:38Speaker 1: for the who AM? I? Game and this is where
- 34:41Speaker 1: we pretend to be somebody else and then you have
- 34:42Speaker 1: to figure out who we. Are you can answer this
- 34:44Speaker 1: ON x at ban mallor that's at Ban. MALLE i
- 34:48Speaker 1: will get the rundown. Up not For Supermarket, Steve i'm
- 34:51Speaker 1: gonna block, him but for everyone, Else i'll get the
- 34:54Speaker 1: rundown up ON x. As we as a one man
- 34:57Speaker 1: band around, here so a, lot a lot of moving.
- 34:59Speaker 1: Parts but here's the who AM? I? Game so The.
- 35:01Speaker 1: Knickerbockers Jalen brunson had fourteen assists in the game On thursday.
- 35:07Speaker 1: Night that's the most by A knicks player in a playoff.
- 35:11Speaker 1: Games who's me? Again? Who Jalen brunson had fourteen assists
- 35:15Speaker 1: against The cadavers in the game On, thursday the most
- 35:19Speaker 1: by A knicks player in a playoff game since?
- 35:22Speaker 2: Me?
- 35:22Speaker 1: Who who AM? I that is the? Question the. Answer
- 35:26Speaker 1: we'll get to it and we will do it.
- 35:30Speaker 4: Next be sure to catch live editions Of The Ben
- 35:32Speaker 4: Maller show weekdays at two Am eastern eleven Pm, Pacific
- 35:36Speaker 4: Bill miller and.
- 35:37Speaker 1: You it is The Ben Mahler. Show as we roll
- 35:40Speaker 1: on through the. Overnight you can catch The Fifth Hour
- 35:44Speaker 1: podcast every single. Weekend in, fact we are going to
- 35:50Speaker 1: have a new episode of The Fifth Hour podcast will
- 35:52Speaker 1: be up later on On, friday of, course this is
- 35:55Speaker 1: the Big friday. Show still Late thursday in The. West
- 35:59Speaker 1: Fifth hour Pot test to be up later, today also all,
- 36:01Speaker 1: weekend so if you're looking for fresh audio, content a
- 36:04Speaker 1: lot of bad radio on the, weekend so check out
- 36:06Speaker 1: The Fifth hour. Podcast it's available Every, Friday saturday And
- 36:09Speaker 1: sunday wherever you get your. Podcast and The Ben Maler show.
- 36:12Speaker 1: Podcast a lot of stuff to listen, to a lot
- 36:15Speaker 1: of crap to listen. To, yes not. CRAP i MEAN
- 36:18Speaker 1: i say that in the kindest. Term back to, It
- 36:22Speaker 1: back to who We? Go gott pay off the always
- 36:24Speaker 1: popular who AM? I? Game this is where we pretend
- 36:28Speaker 1: to be somebody, else as we call it the who AM? I?
- 36:30Speaker 1: Game here we, Go so The Knicks Jalen brunson had fourteen.
- 36:36Speaker 1: Assists we are told that is the most play A
- 36:38Speaker 1: New york, player you, know playoff playoff game since. Me
- 36:44Speaker 1: who AM? I that would be the, question and what
- 36:49Speaker 1: would the answer? Be we go to the great unwashed
- 36:51Speaker 1: members of The malin militia to find. Out, bergerman Says Dwight.
- 36:56Speaker 1: Shrewd is the. Answer he is in the, office scoop
- 37:00Speaker 1: guessed By shane in Des. Moines, Milkman mike And colorado
- 37:04Speaker 1: Says Susan waldman And Doris burke the correct. Answer, yes
- 37:10Speaker 1: it's you're not Wrong, Milkman mike with what you're saying,
- 37:13Speaker 1: There Doug hefferman From rob The Goat, Man Peyton, elizabeth
- 37:18Speaker 1: who is twenty two? Today what an old? Woman my,
- 37:21Speaker 1: god twenty? Two that's a late night drug. Tester who
- 37:24Speaker 1: else do we have to? See page? Down alf The
- 37:28Speaker 1: alien opiner? Cheated bad job by, Him King, roy Says Stephen. Colbert,
- 37:34Speaker 1: YEAH i see all these people freaking. OUT i guess
- 37:37Speaker 1: they had his last. SHOW i guess that was he's been. Canceled, Yeah,
- 37:42Speaker 1: president he wasn't very. GOOD i don't know he was.
- 37:45Speaker 1: BAD i don't know what the problem. Is, like you,
- 37:47Speaker 1: know if he did a good, show he wouldn't have gotten.
- 37:49Speaker 1: Canceled how far? Out dave Says Andy, griffith is the,
- 37:52Speaker 1: answer mister nice guy going With teddy Higera brewer's. Legend Just,
- 37:57Speaker 1: josh Says Alexa. Bliss it must Be. Friday Bill bradley
- 38:01Speaker 1: guests by Analog. Al robbie The mariner fan is going
- 38:05Speaker 1: with The Great Doctor. SEUSS i don't remember. THAT i
- 38:11Speaker 1: THOUGHT i read Every Doctor seuss, book BUT i don't
- 38:13Speaker 1: remember the one That robbie. Sent my mom must have
- 38:16Speaker 1: kept me from that. Book dante got this. Right bad
- 38:19Speaker 1: job by, Him Brian trottier From Doc dan In. Minnesota
- 38:23Speaker 1: who else do we have a page? Down dante got it. Right,
- 38:28Speaker 1: uh SUPER marcusi, says if you really block, me that
- 38:32Speaker 1: might be the weakest Blocking i've ever heard Since. Marcel. Uh,
- 38:37Speaker 1: yeah did you actually THINK i was gonna block? You
- 38:39Speaker 1: are you that? Naive my, god it's a bad job by.
- 38:42Speaker 1: YOU i can't block you BECAUSE i want some more
- 38:44Speaker 1: Than Tira. Massoux next time we have a meet and,
- 38:45Speaker 1: greet and you're his. Wife brought Some Tierra massoux a
- 38:49Speaker 1: couple of years. AGO a Su, yeah SO i had
- 38:52Speaker 1: to wait to eat, it of, course Because i've got
- 38:53Speaker 1: this weird. Diet Brad doherty guest By Big. Lou he's
- 38:57Speaker 1: on number. Two sean in The valley of The, sun
- 39:00Speaker 1: who's been listening for? Forever Says Othella harrington is his.
- 39:04Speaker 1: Answer he man From gunner in mine Off Doctor jay
- 39:09Speaker 1: gus By JOHNNY q see Not, schroeder But schroeder is
- 39:15Speaker 1: The Not, schroeder But shruder is the? Answer who else Do?
- 39:20Speaker 1: It'll see Page dan if you can read that One
- 39:22Speaker 1: on the, Air josh is going With Mark. Jackson mallard
- 39:25Speaker 1: pop guy Says steve From manhattan is the. Answer the
- 39:29Speaker 1: Goat Will harris guessed By, Scrooge well the question. Again
- 39:34Speaker 1: knicks Guard Jalen brunson fourteen, assists most by A knicks
- 39:37Speaker 1: player in a playoff. Game since, me who AM? I?
- 39:40Speaker 1: Loreno do you have an? Answer? Lorado? Dumbladoor, okay fine?
- 39:45Speaker 1: Answer UNFORTUNATELY i know this is. Incorrect he correct answered
- 39:48Speaker 1: The Charlie. Ward Charlie ward.
- 39:51Speaker 2: In nineteen ninety.
- 39:53Speaker 1: Eight game five against The Miami heat nineteen ninety, eight
- 39:57Speaker 1: now the Last knicks player with more than. Fourteen this
- 40:00Speaker 1: is because As Charlie wood had, fourteen the last next
- 40:02Speaker 1: player with more Was Mark jackson in nineteen ninety two
- 40:07Speaker 1: against The Michael Jordan Chicago bulls in nineteen ninety. Two
- 40:12Speaker 1: so it's been it's been a. Minute, ALSO i Saw
- 40:14Speaker 1: Charles barkley was complaining about all the streaming channels in THE,
- 40:19Speaker 1: nba and, WELL i think that's kind of a weak.
- 40:21Speaker 1: ARGUMENT i do agree the problem you have is a
- 40:24Speaker 1: lot of people don't know where the games. Are and
- 40:27Speaker 1: if people don't know where to get your, product it's
- 40:29Speaker 1: bad for your. Product that's like the first rule of business.
- 40:32Speaker 1: People it has to be easily. Accessible so that is a.
- 40:34Speaker 1: Problem