Latest / Opie & Carl / Live at Gebhards: “I Could Still Taste You”

Transcript

Live at Gebhards: “I Could Still Taste You” · Opie & Carl

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I'm confused. No, I make fun. Let's make gold, boys.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Let's make gold, boys. We need that on a t-shirt.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: All right, we got... Oh, look what's going on on
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: the sidewalk there. Oh, look at that, huh? What'd you say?
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Fuck those motherfuckers. Fuck those motherfuckers.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, look at Vic.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Hey, cuz.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Let's wrap it up, all right, with the drugs?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Hey. Hey.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: You guys don't got cancer.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Let's go.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. Stop trying to act like you got
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: street cancer smoking weed everywhere. It's almost legal. We're almost there, boys.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Almost there.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Anyway, we're at Gephart's on the Upper West Side. Can
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I just say off the record, Mikey has a good life.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: That's all I want to say. I'm very proud of Mikey.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Good job, Mikey.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: What's going on? We had a talk.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: We'll talk later.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Anything good? He's doing good. You doing all right for
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: yourself there, Mikey? He's all right. He's doing all right. Okay.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Is this some inside? Yeah, there is. I'm going to
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: tell you.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: The title of it is Opie, Mind Your Fucking Business.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Don't fucking bring it up. I hate when people do
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: that to me.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: When you bring it up, then I'm like, fuck, now
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: we got to go.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: This is me paying you back for hosting Grapefruit Soda.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Delicious.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: It is weird.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: It is weird. What's weird, Vic? What's weird? Let's go.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: We're all in.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: It's just weird.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: What is?
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: I don't want to believe in you, but something's wrong
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: with that.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: With what? That beer.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: It's a little, I don't know.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It's okay. Yo, this beer's all right. It's all right. No,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: nobody's going to agree with you. Dave, what am I drinking? Bloomerang.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: Bloomerang.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Bloom?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Bloom. Bloom.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: B-L-O-O-M.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Bloomerang. That's the yoga pants of beer.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: And I'm wearing yoga pants now. And I'm sipping on
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: Carl's bourbon and drinking a Peel's lager, 1883.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: And we're drinking a beautiful Elijah Craig. Shout out, Kentucky.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, it is. Wait, I'm really drinking a Bloomerang? You are.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: You blooming idiot. Yes, it's with you. Oh, Christ. Exactly.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: They were going to call it Hoppy McFuck, but they
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: changed it. They were going to call it Man Butt.
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: This is going to call it Prison Pussy.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Back Pussy. South mouth.
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: I believe it's an IPA, though.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: My name is Opie.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Do you want to kiss my front pussy or my
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: back pussy?
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Nick was telling me a wonderful story while we were
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: just chilling.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: And I said, you got to tell it on the podcast.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: I forgot how we got sidetracked.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't want to give the punchline. Don't give
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: away the punchline.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: That's why I'm being very vague about your story.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So then you set it up nice.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: It all started because Carl kept saying, wrap it up,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: wrap it up. Are we wrapping up?
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: Wrap it up.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Shall we wrap it up? Wrap, wrap, wrap. I feel
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: a wrap up coming on. Oh, fuck.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Jimmy Vaughn's in that band.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: Stevie Ray Brothers. I was going to say, yeah. Stevie's brother.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: You got to help me.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, Opie.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: I can't think of Kim's last name, but the lead
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: singer is the rare dude named Kim.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit. Now you got me.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: How did he die? In a helicopter?
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: Steve Ray died in the helicopter after leaving the Clapton
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: and Buddy Guy concert in Wisconsin.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: I believe. Buddy Guy hung out with him a couple times.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Buddy Guy's a great dude. Great. I think he's in
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: town performing soon.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: If you haven't ever seen Buddy Guy.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: You have to.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Yes, it's amazing. It's really good. He's a goddamn legend.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: But if you're in Chicago, don't go to Buddy Guy's
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: Blue Chicago. Go to the Kingston Mines.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, really? Why?
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Because it never stops. There's two old houses, and they
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: drilled a hole in the wall. So the music never stops.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: When one band quits in one room, the audience walks
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: through the hole and goes to the other. So it's
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: constant music from like 6 o'clock to 4 in the morning,
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: and you don't know who's walking in. Buddy Guy will
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: leave his club and go over there. It's a goddamn institution.
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: It's on North Halsted. It's called the Kingston Mines. That's
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: my blues joint.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: That's a great spot.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go check that out.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: So we're about to wrap it up. Do you want
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: me to tell this really?
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: It's a great story.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: It's very odd, but this involves when I was over
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: 25 years ago.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Yesterday. Yes.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: All my stories were over 25 years ago. But I
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: was single, and I was visiting my boys down in Houston,
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: and I met this girl at a club. And she
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: keeps dropping these hints on me. I'm like, well, have
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: you ever done this? She's obviously going to take me home.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: But she's throwing out little codes and words, and I
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: don't know what she's saying.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: She's saying things like dick. No, no, no.
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: She's like, have you ever done L.A.? And I'm like,
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: I know people from L.A., lower Alabama.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: That's the old joke.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Panini Pete would know that joke. He doesn't know math,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: but he'll know that joke.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: He knows that joke.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: He's from Gulf Shores. He knows that damn joke.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: So she finally says all these things, and I can't
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: figure it out. And I'm like, what are you trying
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: to say to me? And she goes, I want to
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: lick your butthole. And I'm like, okay.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: She was like, I got a jacuzzi.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: My parents are at home.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: We'll go home. We'll take a nice jacuzzi. Everything will
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: be great. We'll go out, and then it's just on.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I love this girl.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, fine, whatever.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: What does she look like now?
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: I saw a picture of her not too long ago.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: It looks exactly the same. Looks pretty good. Looks pretty good.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I'll show you a picture of her.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: So my friend found an old picture of her from
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: back in the 80s when we all ran around together
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: and sent it to me. So I'm laying there on
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: my stomach, and there's a fucking clock on the nightstand,
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: and she's back there working on it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: And she's licking my butt. I don't really care.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: It just tickles.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: It sort of tickles. I'm not excited. I want to
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: have sex. I have to do something else.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: She's like, how many pickles did you eat today?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I don't even know.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: I'm just watching the clock. I'm just watching the clock going,
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: how much time do I give her before I tell her?
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: to stop because I'm not really getting any pleasure out
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: of this. And so I'm not getting any pleasure.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: It's just weird. I got a half chub from the story.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: I'm glancing over my shoulder and I look at it.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: So she's playing with herself while she's, she's got one
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: hand on me and one hand on her. She's just
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: going at it. She's just working it real hard. So
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: I'm looking again. I'm like, well, this ain't going to
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: take long. So I'm talking, I'll just let her finish
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: and then we'll have more fun doing other stuff.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: And so, I'm looking at the clock. I'm looking at
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: the clock. I'm looking at the clock.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: I'm looking around at her. I'm like, come on. Goddamn,
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: how long is this going to do?
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: 45 minutes go by.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I love this bitch. I almost... I almost... Holy wet wipe. Oh, yeah.
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: I was clean, man.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Holy shit. Like banging a waterfall.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: So finally, finally, I just go.
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: It was one of those guys where the little panels
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: fall down.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: They're not even digital. One of the ones that click over.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Once again, I will forgive you.
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: It was the kind with the two bells on the
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: top that had the second hand.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Like from war games. Yes, exactly.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: Shall we play a game?
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: So I was at Tom Edison's house.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: In Menlo Park, New Jersey.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Nice!
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I'm staring at the sundial.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I decide.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: We're like 43 minutes, and I go, okay, I'm going
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: to give her to 45 minutes, and I don't care
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: if she's done or not. I'm just going to tell
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: her to stop. And she clicked over two more times,
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: 45 minutes. I just turn around and go, hey, hey, hey.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And she goes, what? I go, wrap it up!
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: And Don Gavin is a 30-year friend of mine in comedy.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: He's a Boston godfather of comedy. He was there too.
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: I saw him about a month after that happened all
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: those years ago. And every year on.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Nantucket, as soon as he sees me, he's like.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Wrap it up. It's the first thing he says every year.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: It's our greeting. It's not an entire.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: That's a fucking good story.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: 45 minutes in.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: I took a nap.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: You got to love that.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I took a nap in.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: The middle of it. I hope you don't like that.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: I was never really into that.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think anybody's into it, but if the girl.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: She asked me to do it. I'm into her getting
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: off on it.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I'm into her getting off on it. Sure, that's what
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I am.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: Sure, fine.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, each his own.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Thumbs up.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: You're like, all right, if this is your thing.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: That's what I thought, yeah.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I was in because it was her thing. This goes
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: back a bit, and... Yeah, like you. You have any
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: of those?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: Have you been trapped in something that was their thing? No, that's... Oh,
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: same thing.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Probably the maybe one... There might have been two times.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: That's it, right. It's their thing. It's their thing. Sure.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: But same with you. It's like you want more at
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: that point. It's like... Yeah, come on. But whatever. There's
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: boobs there. Let me touch them. Get up here. Long
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: story short, it made me puke.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Ooh.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Because the next day... Why? Why? I'll tell you. I'll
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: tell you. Because... It's going to make you puke right now.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: It made you puke? Go ahead. Yes, I started dry
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: heaving for real. She called me the next day. Uh-oh.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: And she goes, hey, man, I just wanted to call
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: and tell you.
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: Hey, man.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: Now I know why you puke. Hey, man. Hey, man.
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: Hey, man.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Who was the girl?
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: Who was the girl? Joe from Facts of Life? She
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: was fixing a carburetor.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Eat your asshole.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I wish it was Joe from Facts of Life.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I wish.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: That would have been an upgrade. But the next day
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: she calls me like, hey, whatever.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: Hey, man.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: She goes, I had to call you.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I'm at work right now. Because she went right to work.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: After, right? And she goes, I had to.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Call you to tell you that I could still taste you.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Oh! I like this bitch. Oh, yeah. I like a
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: filthy oddity. That's a counterpart. True story. I was just like, oh,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: my God.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: You know what this ass is capable of doing in yourself?
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Shitting on a yacht.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: But somehow she thought that would be sexy, and I'm like,
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: I really started dry heaving.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. On the phone with her, did she
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: hear you dry heave? No, no.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but it certainly was, yeah,
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: I was not having it.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Whatever.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I'm not even flattered.
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: Thanks.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Me too. You would be flattered by that. I'm like,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: this is not sexy talk.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Why not?
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: She's reminding you of a very intimate moment.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: You don't know your ass. No.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, I know my ass.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know my ass. Believe me. You ever have
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: one of these? Oh, yes. And like?
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: I mean, it usually comes along with a blowjob when
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: you do get it. I don't want to have it
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: out of the blue, like straight to the ass.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Right. But yeah, blowjob. Licking the balls can turn into ass. Oh, sure.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Knock yourself out down there.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Have fun.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Put up scaffolding.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Stay a while. but listen you gotta be.
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: Good just wrap it up for 45 minutes.
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: You gotta be good like you if you're gonna go
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: down there you gotta be good you can't be like
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: a shitty house painter painting over the trim and everything.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: That's true you gotta be proficient absolutely you.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Gotta do the car wash yeah it's Oh, my God.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: If you're going to go for it, then give me
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: the car wash. Do it right. No, man. It's just like, yeah.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: But to Vic's point, if it's their thing, then that's
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: the turn on it. Who am I to judge?
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm into whatever. If somebody's into something, I'll sit
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: back and watch you do your thing.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: I have no problem.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I ain't got no problem with it.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. When it's time for me to do my thing,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I want you to let me enjoy myself.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Well, see, that's why I like.
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: And my buddy who married an English girl, he agrees
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: with me. More women in Europe and other places. Your
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: thing is not the thing for an American girl, then
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: you're a freak.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: She's going to go, hey, idiot, what are you doing?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Good God.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Over there, they just go, that's not my thing.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: But go ahead. Knock yourself out. That's weak.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: They're a little nicer.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, not really for me, but okay. You don't get
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: labeled something.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Right, right.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: The American girls will throw a label on you in
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: a second.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: They try to. Damn.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: Anyway.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: They're not all y'all.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Culture-wise. I like how she stayed down there for 45 minutes.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: She would have went longer than that if you would
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: have wrapped her up. Oh, I know. Believe me. She'd
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: still be up there. Oh, yeah.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: She would have worn a hole for your asshole. I'd
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: have a Rip Van Winkle going under my butthole.
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: A girl can pretty much do anything she wants.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Fucking mushrooms are going to start growing.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: She's back there tripping on peyote. No.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not Carl's ex.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Turns into an LSD experience.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I'm not Carl's ex.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Low blow, bro. No, not a low blow. No low
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: blows anymore. No low blows.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: No low blows.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I remember a time that was slightly low blow.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: Well, because I was still paying for that.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: He's good now. Don't kick the car as long as
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: it's in my name. He's good now.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: How's the car doing?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Is the Fox up and running?
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: No, it's still broken. My car's still broken. I got
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: a rental.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I rented a car.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: What happened to your car? One of the bearings went
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: in the front rotor. The famous Fox. And my brake
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: lines collapsed.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I lost all hydraulic fluid on the highway.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Fuck, that's scary. What? The car goes 60. No. And
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: then I went 40. And then I went 20. And
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: then I was on the side of the road. Okay.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: So you have to roll to a stop.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: That's not expensive, though.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: That is scary shit. Thank you, Sherrod. I was in
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: the Fox.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: We drove from Philly to New York, and it goes
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: up to 72.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: And that motherfucker shakes. How does it?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: At 72?
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: We almost got a ridiculous accident live on, was it
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Instagram at that point?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we almost crashed it, yeah.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: We were laughing like idiots, and there was a, you know,
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: on the New Jersey Turnpike, there's always a car on
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: the side.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Of the road that stopped or broke down. What the fuck?
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: We're laughing so hard, he can't even see anymore.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: He's like swerving, kind of. He's not drunk or anything.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: We're just having a good time. fucking live on Instagram.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: He had it like, get it back in the lane.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: This car was coming fast. Remember that car? I do.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: It was coming toward you guys. No, no.
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: It was a broken down car.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: It almost hit it on the side. Yeah.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Biggest fucking fear, man. That would have been awful.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: That happens to all of us though. You're driving and
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: not paying attention and all of a sudden you see
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: this car.
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: Usually you'll hit the shit on the side of the
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: road and go.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: My car's vibrating so much. It's like adding horns to
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: a symphony. That's one of the greatest inventions ever.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I think they cause accidents.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Because when you're sleeping, you hear them. Fuck no. That
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: wakes you the fuck up.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: Well, the newer cars do it now. The newer cars,
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: if you don't have that feature on the highway to
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: make the sound, if you get out of your line,
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: your car will start shaking.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, my seatbelt.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: It's built into the car.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Mine has it 24 hours a day.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: The Fox was ahead of its time.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Ahead of its time.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, I just heard.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I'm sure we've all fallen asleep while driving. Oh, yes.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: I remember one time.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: It's one of the scariest things, Eric, because you don't
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: know how long you've been asleep.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: That's the mind fog.
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: I think I've told this story before in here, but
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: this was in college. Me and my boys, we drove
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: up for the Sauce Awards or something in New York City.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: We were in Maryland going to college. So we drove up.
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: It's like 4 or 5 in the morning when we're
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: coming back. So we're driving straight back to Maryland. I'm
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: in the front seat with my boy Dwight, and my
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: boy John's.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: In the back.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: I'm in the front seat sleeping. I wake up, look
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: over at Dwight, who's driving. He's knocked out. We are
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: doing 70. His eyes are straight closed.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay.
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to say, yo, Dwight, and then we
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: all dead.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I slowly... Put my hand on the wheel and said, hey, man,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: you all right? And he woke up like, yo. I
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: was like, pull the fuck over right now. Right. First
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: of all, he didn't know how long he was asleep.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Good God.
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: It was like the car knew the way home. You
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: know how scary that is to wake up like this? Oh,
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: I wonder where we are.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Are we still in Jersey? I'm looking at him, and
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: he's knocked out. Oh, my God. Knocked out.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: That's terrible.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: That is amazing.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: You know what's scary about falling asleep on the highway
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: is your brain starts thinking, it starts talking to you
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: where logically it makes sense to close your eyes for a.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Little bit because you're so fucking tired. Next thing you know,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: you're running into Tracy Morgan's van.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Not too soon. Not too soon.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Plenty of time.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Plenty of time.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: How much did he get for that? Who knows?
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: A lot.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: 100 mil?
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: More.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: It was more than 100 mil. A lot more. A
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: lot more.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: People die.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: It's Walmart, bro.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: People die.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I think Artie got about 50. Artie, all right. How's
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: he doing, by the way? He's doing great. Yeah. Last
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: time I saw him, he was doing all right.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: He's the only guy to survive a major head injury
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: and become funnier.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I told him that to his face.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I told him. That's hilarious.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: I was standing out on the balcony at the cellar on.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: The little smoking porch. We're talking about Artie Fuqua.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Artie Fuqua.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: And I'm standing out there talking to Attell and Artie
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: Lang while they're smoking butts. And I tell them that,
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: and then.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: They die laughing.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: Within 10 seconds, he walks up, and they're like, tell him,
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: tell him, tell him. And I tell him, and he
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: dies laughing.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: He hugs me.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: He didn't care. It was funny.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. Marty's the best. I love him. He's
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: a good dude. Absolutely.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you the strangest thing. I saw one of
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: these back to the side of the highway on the turnpike.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: I didn't almost hit it, but I saw one of
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: these hot dog carts. that usually don't leave Manhattan.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: On the highway?
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: So I guess the fucker was dragging it back to Jersey.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: Or something, and it must have come unhitched from his car.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: And he left it there by the side. But I'm
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: rolling down 95 outside the Newark airport.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what the fuck? How did this get out here?
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: Total New York City moment.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: How the fuck did this get out here? I'll take
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: one with sauerkraut. Yeah, exactly.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Mustard and onions.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: That thing would be so fucking stolen.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: It probably wasn't there long. It probably wasn't there long.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: If there was a guy out there selling hot dogs,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: it would be a line.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, I would stop and get one.
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, I would.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I love the dirty water.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Where's the spot in Jersey you go to the ruts? Ruts, right.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: He went there this morning.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: I went there this morning. Son of a bitch.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: And you talk to that guy and he just ignores
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: you every single time.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I love this place. It's like relish is over there.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I've been coming here for 24 years. He's like the
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: mustard's over there. I'm like, I'm on the Food Network.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: I got you that article in Bon Appetit magazine. He's like,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: are you going to want another soda? I'm like, all right,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: fuck me, I guess, right?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: That's when he goes, Carl!
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Exactly. You're the guy that married that dummy. Gee, guys,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: she's rich now.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: Patrice used to talk about that with the Asian joints,
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: the Chinese restaurants, where he would go to the same
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: place for like, 10, 15 years, and they would look
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: at him like he's coming in for the first time.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: And it used to drive him nuts.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: And then it would piss him off that they wouldn't
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: give one lousy appetizer or anything for free just to
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: acknowledge that this guy is.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Thanks for being a customer. Yeah, exactly. They all bought
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: a book. The Asians? Yeah. Some of them. No, most
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: of them, they don't give a fuck.
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: But if you like Americanized, then they just, you know.
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: Straight from the factory? Yeah.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: The Japanese people down where he goes, where'd you take
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: me to the little jazz?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: B-Spot?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, B-Flat.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: B-Flat.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Where is that? It's kind of Tribeca.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: It's awesome.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, I do know that spot.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: And they're all Japanese. The food's killer. And the jazz
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: is always free. Free jazz in a basement. And an
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: excellent food.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: And they're all from Yokohama. Every one of them. That
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: was so funny. Every one of them.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: No, they're not.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: Carl tries to float that line of bullshit.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Go ahead, Carl.
• 18:25
  Speaker 6: So I'm with Mark Murphy, unbelievable chef.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, it was wonderful. We just had a pig in
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: a box.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Right. So we have a private pig roast.
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: Oh!
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: I show up with this guy named John Gallucci, who
• 18:37
  Speaker 6: was one of the funniest fucking rich-ass guys.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: He owns like 260 physical therapy places in New Jersey.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: He's loaded.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: And he's sitting there. It's a bunch of hipsters.
• 18:46
  Speaker 6: And he's an Italian guy from Brooklyn who's loaded.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: So he's like, what do you do?
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I study butterflies.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Like, get the fuck out. How about you? Anybody here
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: do anything? How did you get here? Carl, how are
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: they here with me?
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I'm just raising my hand.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I'm with Carl.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I'm just raising my hand. All these bocce loops in here.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: It was so fucking funny. What was I talking about?
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Mark Murphy. I take Mark Murphy to this little... He.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: Lived in Japan. So I'm hammered. And I'm like, this
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: place is great. One of the owners is from Yokohama. Somehow,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: in my mind, I turn that into everyone here is
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: from Yokohama. So Mark Murphy being very well-versed, and he's
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: a chef like me, zero bullshit.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: So we're sitting there, and.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: He goes, that's fucking bullshit.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I go, no, Mark Murphy, I'm telling you.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Everybody here's from Yoko fucking Hama, Japan. He goes, hold
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: on one second.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: He gets up, and his face is like.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: and he's like, hey, who the fuck's here from Yokohama?
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I'm dying.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I'm watching the whole thing. I'm screaming.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: So everyone's like, no, I'm from here, I'm from here,
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: I'm from Bayonne, I'm fucking from here.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: They say everywhere but Yokohama.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: A lot of Mexicos. And all of a sudden, he
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: sits back there and goes, fucking nobody's from Yokohama. And
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: that was it. That was the end of the conversation.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: It was the fucking funniest thing. That's balls.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: I called it back at least 100 times.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh. That was the whole thing?
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for the next three hours, it was Yokohama this,
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Yokohama that.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: How was that pig roast? The pig roast was great.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: And there was a girl, she was so cute, and
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: she was hitting on me, but I was so chilling
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: with Mark Murphy that I missed it until the end.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Where did he cook it? He cooked it in a
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: box on the deck.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: On a balcony overlooking Broadway down in Tribeca.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: In Tribeca.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I smelled it from two blocks away.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: When I was walking up. It was amazing.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I didn't think that was possible in New York City.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: What's it called?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I would imagine it's illegal.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: You're not allowed to have a barbecue in New York City.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: We had a hell of a barbecue. You know that.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know. I brought Vic Henley.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: All the people that have outdoor space in New York City,
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: there are not a lot of barbecues.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: That's the craziest rule ever.
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: It was the day I missed the podcast because of
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: my air conditioning leak, but I made the pig roast.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Coincidence?
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you a true Carl story. I
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: got the hint. I got a Carl story that has
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: everything to do with this night. So that night, everything
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: goes down. I stay at Vic Henley.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, no.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: We're at the Japanese place where everyone's from Yokohama. We're
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: all hanging out Yokohama style.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: And Vic goes and sneaks and pays the bill. Because
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Carl always pays. You have to beat him to the check.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: I was so happy.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: This is downtown.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: I was literally ecstatic.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: I've been trying for a year and a half to
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: pick up a check on this motherfucker.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I just act surprised.
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: I've seen it.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, what?
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I've seen it.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: I've seen it.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, come on. Not again.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: What?
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: What was the hit?
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: When I threw my wallet across the dining room?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: That's awfully nice. So I go to Vic Henley. I
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: go to Vic Henley. I give him money. And I said, here, man,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: we'll split it. So I give him money.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: That night I sleep at Vic Henley's house.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: I wake up.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, I don't have any money. I steal
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: the money back that I gave him.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: That's it. That's even better. He did. I steal the
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: money back.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: I didn't care.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: He did. And then I text Henley.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: I go, just want to let you know, I stole
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: the money I gave.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: He goes, I knew the whole time.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: That's all right, buddy.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: That's all right, buddy. So then I said, I'll make
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: it up to you.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not 100% sure.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: What's the thumbs up? Is that good or bad?
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, I'm good.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I'll take a beer. I'll take a half.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Give him more of the... Fruity hops.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: What do you mean a half?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: That wasn't.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I'll take a Michelob.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: No, I'll go just Grandpa. Any type of Grandpa beer.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Brett Gephardt.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: They have great Grandpa beers.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: They do.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: You're drinking a Peel's Lager right now. I'm drinking a
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Peel's Lager. That's old school. That is. So he stole
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: the money. Yes.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: So he stole the money.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Back. And then I text him.
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: I said, I just want to let you know what
• 23:07
  Speaker 6: kind of people you leave in your apartment. I straight
• 23:09
  Speaker 6: up robbed you. He's like, I was very well aware.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: I know who you are, Carl. I know who you are.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: I said, as long as we're, you know, I wanted
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: to call you first, let you know I robbed you.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: He did. I did.
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: And I said, but this is why I'm sorry. I'm
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: not saying you're getting the money back. But what I'm
• 23:25
  Speaker 6: saying is, would you like to go to a private
• 23:27
  Speaker 6: pig roast?
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: He goes, Pick me up. Nice. I want that pig
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: so bad. The ear. I called him, but you were
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: doing a set at the comedy... You were doing a
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: set with the ear?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, the ear.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Why the ear?
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: I can't drink because he told me it was Cuban
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: bubble gum.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: And it was.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Isn't it good?
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: Because it has the texture of like a Twizzler. It's
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: that cartilagey, but it's got the smoky goodness of all
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: that porky flavor. Dunk that ear in a little bit
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: of just a hair sauce. He snapped it off in hand.
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: He goes, here, it's Cuban bubble gum. And I was like, goddamn, Carl,
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: you're right.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, I want that. How big was the pig that he...
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: How is this box? I'm so curious.
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: What's it called, Carl?
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: It's called the Cajacina.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Cajacina. There you go. It's in Cuba. What we do
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: is we create a box. Right. And we put the
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: charcoals on top. You spit roast the paper.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: The lid has metal.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: The lid has a metal grate on top of it.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And then you eat it. And you have it stretched
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: out like this. Stretched out. Oh, wow.
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: It comes in this thing that kind of clamps him
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: down and flattens him out even more.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: We have pictures of this.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful. You were invited.
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: You totally were.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: I don't bother inviting Opie.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: He's not coming.
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: What are you talking about?
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: I know Opie. He does math.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: He's got a great life.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: He's got kids and everything. Me, I'm newly divorced. Insane.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Full power.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: Anyone that goes out with me is apologizing to their
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: significant other.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's a weird mix. That's a weird mix.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: So Opie goes, so I do the math for Opie.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you like that, huh?
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: I saw you.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I saw you. She's a goddamn cutie.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: That's a cutie.
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: There's some cuties on the west side, man.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I bet you she doesn't use a shaman. She's all
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: figured out.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: So fucking, so I do the math. I said, well,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Opie is, you know, he's got Lindsay at home and
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: the kids and school's starting and it's in Tribeca. He
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: lives all the way uptown. I'm like, yeah.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: He's like, Carl, what are you doing?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, nothing. He's like, me neither.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: He's like, good call, man.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: I'll see you tomorrow. I'm like, all right, Ace. I
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: was invited to this.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: It was so good.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I'm jealous. It was great. But I had to work.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to remember what we were doing that day.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: I couldn't go. Oh, that was the Scott Farrell. Yeah.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: All right, there you go.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: He answered it.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: I'm so invited. It's still a good story that I'm
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: a piece of shit, but I was invited. It has
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: nothing to do with you being a piece of shit.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: It's you have a real life.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Honestly, that one I definitely wanted to go to. Well,
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: some people are always asking me different things.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: What's he doing this?
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it's summertime. He's on the beach.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: Have you not seen the pictures of the fish?
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: And everybody's like... he's not catching those.
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: They think he's going to the fish market.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: People talk shit. Oh, they do.
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: Every opportunity, there's at least, if he catches one, five
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: or six people, like his neighbors, good job, because they
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: know it's real.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: In real life, people talk shit about opium. In my mind,
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I would trade all the debauchery I do.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: To have a home.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Certainly.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: To have a hot wife that's funny. Yes. And smart.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: The only time Marie was funny was when she fell
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: down the stairs after a box of Friance.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like, ha, ha, ha, ha!
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. I hope you did. But what Vic's
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: referring to, and I want to bring it up again.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: It's true, right?
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: The haters, they're relentless. And like I've said on past podcasts,
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: you can't fight with haters. It's like fighting a ghost.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: That is the truth.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Just let them be them. But let them be.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: But every once in a while they hit you with
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: a shot that you're like, fuck, that's funny.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, sure.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: I caught a huge striped bass early in the summer.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: And they were convinced.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: That I am so desperate for attention. Yes. And they
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: weren't going for the joke.
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: No, they really believed it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: They weren't going for the joke.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: They're like, this motherfucker is so desperate for attention that
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: he bought a dead fucking striped bass, put it on
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: the line, put it in the ocean, and then reeled
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: it in.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: No.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: And then I looked at the video again.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, motherfucker, this thing does look dead, though. But
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: at the last second. You took all the fire out
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: of it. At the last second, you get a flap.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right. But that one got me. That
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: was like touche.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: People were writing shit like, I can still see the
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: ice on it.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: He's rolling up a Filet-O-Fish sandwich at McDonald's.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: I'm sitting there, I'm like, can you believe these fucking people?
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: And the tartar sauce packets are coming out of the fish.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: But now you're spinning it into the zone. There's kale
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: around it. Came with a few lemons. With a little
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: lemon net.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: I use lemon as bait.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I'll be caught at Whole Foods. But then that's the spin.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Then people that are on our side, like, ah, fuck it,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I'll go with the joke. Sure. They're the true funny ones.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: But the worst is sometimes people are on your side,
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: but it's like the dumb one.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? And it's like, I hope
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: you weren't on my side.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: Because it's like a really smart troll, and the guy's
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: on my side.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: He's like, Carl's an awesome dude, man.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: What the fuck? I'm like, that's not helping.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: That's making everything worse. Twitter's got me to the point
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: where when people are being dumb, I'm like, ah, Too
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: many dumb people.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: See you later, guys. And I go watch a documentary
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: or something. I can't.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: I can't.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: You can't stay in that shit. That shit is just
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: the worst. I can't, man. But I love blocking people.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: I've never blocked anyone. I've never blocked anyone.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I don't care. But then again, you don't check your Twitter. No,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I can't call you a nigger. I'm not on there.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Well, they could. They'd just be wrong.
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: Not if you are what you eat.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: I love Vic Henley, but if I went to the
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: library to check my Twitter.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't care either.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Shots fired. He's on 86 feet.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Well, let's see what these motherfuckers have to say today.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: It's funny to me.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: No, you're oblivious to it. That's what I love about
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: Vic Henley.
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: He don't give two fucking fucks.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: That's why I like hanging out with Vic Henley because...
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: No matter where I take him, he's going to be
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Vic Henley. I took him out with gorgeous Food Network girls,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: and he's like.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: You're from Kentucky? You're a piece of shit. Is that
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: your opening line? Opening? Cold. I mean, just cold. And
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, that's Vic Henley. And they end up
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: loving him. They love him.
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: How about the two girls back to the pig roast?
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: Down at the end of the table are these two
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: older black women.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: They both look great.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: So one's probably 50.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Looks amazing.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: And the other one is about 40.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: You know, and Carl and I are sitting next to him.
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: And everybody that came around us would sit down with us.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: And they're like, so how do you guys know each other?
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: And I would point to the two. I go, well,
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: oddly enough, I was married to her in the 80s.
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: And then I point to the older one. I was
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: married to her in the 90s. And so that one
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: is still sending me emails.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah? They loved you.
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: We were getting ready to leave.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: And they're like, no, no, no.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Give us your– I'm like, I'm not giving you any–
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Contact me. I'm not giving you my number.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: And she just snatched him up. She goes, give me
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: your info. She said, you said you had a deck.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I've got a deck.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: We need to exchange barbecues. Oh, I thought you said
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: something else.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: No, deck.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: Deck.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: You got a deck. I got a deck. You heard
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: that right?
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: This was Tribeca.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: D-E-C-K.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: It was Tribeca. Now that handshake makes sense.
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: Hey.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: Those girls were great, though. They were a ton of fun.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: They were a ton of fun. They couldn't believe Carl
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: was throwing all kinds of food knowledge on them.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, because they were coming through. They were obviously wealthy. Sure. Oh, yeah.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: And they were like, so we're thinking about getting a
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: green egg. It's like a barbecue, like a very expensive.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: And I look at I go, that's bullshit. Yeah. They're like, what?
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I'm like, the best grill is like one hundred fifty bucks.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Get it on Amazon. Goodbye.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: They were all bragging and sassy.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: And they they they spun it for five minutes and
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: I knew what he was going to say.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: So I let him and he he gave him a
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: couple of passes with.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, good for you.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: If somebody's going to get you a discount, maybe fine.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, Carl, say what you read.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Tell them, Carl.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: That thing's a white BMW 3 Series of grills.
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: He just started shitting all over it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I just started shitting on it.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: The green egg.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't need the big green egg.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: They're great.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: It's like, If you really don't want to spend time
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: with your family and stuff and you want to be
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: in your backyard, it's definitely awesome because it takes so
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: much work and you're going to be out there and
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: you'll never see your kids.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: It's better for making ceramics than it is food.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: If you want to make glass.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: It's basically a kiln.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: No, it's a kiln.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: 500 degree, 500 degree ceramic oven.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: It's ceramic. It's so hot.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: So what happens is what I explain to them is
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: you learn how to cook on the green egg, but
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: how to cook on the green egg doesn't translate into
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: any other cooking.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: So as a chef, we like to... We're like Swiss
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: army knives, right?
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: So anything that has a specific cooking technique, we stay
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: away from because that doesn't make you versatile.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: You have to understand the science of food, not the science.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Of this stupid fucking machine.
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: You know, like just get rid of the machine.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: They were just bragging on their Sassified.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: And Vic Henley, I mean, straight up, and Vic Henley
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: had them going, and everyone was like uptight, trifecta white.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was weird.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: And he's over there with the two black guys.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Ha!
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: Motherfucker!
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: I can't believe there's champagne.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: In the can!
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: They did. They had champagne in a can.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: I've never seen that before. Oh, it was awesome. It
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: was delicious. I hate champagne, though.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Prosecco. It was bubbly.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: It was bubbly. Does anyone really like champagne? I do.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: It's a real food question. I do. I love it.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: All you guys like it?
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: It all tastes the same to me, man. You're probably
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: going to try to get laid.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: That's why most guys don't like it. It tastes like
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: grapefruit vagina.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Most times guys buy champagne, it's because they're trying to close.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: They're not all jewels. Oh, you're crushing it today.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I'm just glad that one popped. No, you're right. I'm glad. No,
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: it's a real food question. I love champagne. I don't
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: think most people like it, though. I love champagne.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: You really love it.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: Why? Because it's delicious.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's good.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: No. It's the king of white wines, right?
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: So it's bottle fermented, number one. So it has that
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: yeasty thing.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It makes its own bubbles. Yes. Basically through yeast.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: So it's unbelievable.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: I guess you fall in love with the technique and
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: you enjoy the flavor.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: And then when you get something that's.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: Extra dry, that's a very hard flavor to achieve.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: But most people drink very cheap champagne.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: So it's like someone's pissing in your mouth and then
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: putting seltzer water in your mouth. Most of it tastes
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: like puke.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: No. That's not the good stuff.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: But you know what?
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: It's funny. You're right, Opie. I'm going to defend Opie.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Most of it does.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: But that 1%, which I am privy to. How high
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: you got to go? Higher than Vuviklicky? No, Vicky's delicious.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: So with champagne, if you do spend more money on
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: a more expensive bottle, it's worth it.
• 33:53
  Speaker 6: Unlike wine, where it's all marketing. There's one in New
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: Mexico that's very inexpensive called Gruet. The guy that makes
• 34:01
  Speaker 6: it in New Mexico, he was one of the head
• 34:04
  Speaker 6: winemakers for Dom Perignon, or Moet, the same company.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: And he moved to New Mexico and found the perfect microclimate.
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: In New Mexico? In New Mexico.
• 34:13
  Speaker 6: It's the same as... Champagne France. So that's one of
• 34:16
  Speaker 6: the best. That's only like $ 12, $ 13.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: No kidding. What's it called?
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: It's called Gruet. Gruet. It's one of my favorites.
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: But the other ones, you've got to pay for the process, right?
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: There's a certain process. They have racks. They're called champagne racks.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: So someone every couple days has to go and expertly
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: turn each bottle to move the yeast. That's why if
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: you look at good champagne bottles, they're indented on the bottom.
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: That's for the winemaker's thumb to move.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: No shit. Like a clock.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: So he moves each one depending on where it is
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: on the rack like this.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: And then that creates the flavor.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. This is why I like hanging out with Carl.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: I never liked it. But you're saying.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm crushing chicks and you're going to yoga.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: Because I know shit like that. I'm seeing a shaman now.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: I'm just fucking with him.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: I'd blow a talcum powder up his nose.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: He's doing coke with the shaman.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I'm drinking model water. Oh, that shaman story. I'm going
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: to go see the shaman again so we have more material.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Can we go? I'll do it with you. You got
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: to take it seriously. That's his world. No, that's his world.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: And then we could have fun with it after the fact.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: I'm going because he's like... You sit there and start...
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: But there's certain catchphrases that get me interested. Like, he
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: blew some stuff in my nose and my body started tingling.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, call that motherfucker.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Carl's wheelhouse.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Call him! He did that with a prostitute.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: And learned a lot more. I'm like, so you're saying
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: that girl I met, Desire, she was a shaman?
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: LAUGHTER Turns out I've been with shamans for 100 years.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I'll say it again.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: Me and my wife had a sit-down, and we're like,
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: we shouldn't be doing this anymore, right?
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Or me. It was for me. She didn't actually do.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: The Peruvian plan up her nose. And she's like, yeah,
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: we probably should pass finally. Because I was so trusting.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: How many did you have? Four or five? No, I
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: did two sessions. Talk to Florentine about it. Florentine did it?
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: He didn't go all in like me, but he saw
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: a shaman and he believes in it.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: So here's Florentine. I don't believe in the voodoo shit.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: I believe in that, like I said with Florentine, that
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: it puts you in a place where you can finally, like,
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Your brain is powerful, your spirit's powerful, so.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: I think it puts you in a place where you
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: can start working on some shit.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I get that. I don't think there's magic
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: men walking the earth.
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: But you can't get there on your own. You think
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: you needed someone to help you.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: No, sometimes I think you need a little push. A
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: little push or a guy. I think, yeah. To refocus you.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: I go with Carl.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: I don't believe in organized religion, but I passed a
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: church the other day while I was biking, and they
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: had the doors open.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: It's beautiful in there. I'm like, you know what? I
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: went right home and told my wife, maybe we should
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: start going back.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Not for the architecture. This is what you just said.
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: For the Lord. I hope he's safe for the Lord.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I hope he just stop it now. Just stop it.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: Stop it. It's like they have great columns in there.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: This is absolutely ridiculous. I'll break Gerard down.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying for the stupid stories they tell that
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: I don't believe, but just to center me and get
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: me in a place to.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Think about shit. Think about spirituality. I'm more into spirituality
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: than organizing. I'm going to teach you the best type
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: of yoga. I go to temple, church, fucking Buddhist temple.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Bro, the best time I ever had was at a
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: Baptist church.
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: I believe that. And it was at a wake. Best
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: time I ever had. I believe that. I mean, in
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: that world of religion. You and your high five in
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: the corpse?
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: I went up to Boston for a wake for a
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: radio guy.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: His mom died. And I'm like, this is a wake?
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: I had so much fucking fun, man. It was nuts.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: It was a gospel choir that should have been signed
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: by somebody.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Fuck Aretha Franklin.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: This group that I saw up there in Boston should be.
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: First of all, never say fuck Aretha Franklin.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: I know. I didn't mean it like that. You know
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Sorry. Especially not now. Yeah, really. Too soon.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: That is too soon.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Here comes Twitter.
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: Opie hates Aretha Franklin.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Did she have costume changes at her own wake? They
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: should have changed those shoes on her. I don't know. Yeah,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: we had an episode of Race Wars. We talked about it.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: They were tight? Somebody took a picture of her shoes
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: in a casket.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: No.
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: She had no permission. Like her wearing them? And you
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: know how women try to squeeze into- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: It's like somebody did that. We sit here, rigor mortis
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: foot in her shoe, and you couldn't get that shoe on.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Wait, so she was making bread at her own weight?
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: Yes. Look at the picture. You pull up the picture.
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: That was funnier than you got credit for.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: That was really funny. I'll go the opposite of that one.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to work on my delivery, and I'm there.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: You've only had 33 years to try. Somebody took a.
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: It was like, you could tell it was an unauthorized picture.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: But yeah, they caught it, and it was like from,
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: so you see the top of her head, so you
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: don't see her face. You don't see her face. You
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: just see her head, and then down to the feet.
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: It's just a bad look.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Carl's doing something.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I thought he was pulling up the foot. You can
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: pull up the foot, Carl.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't know what he was doing.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: It's on there. Black Twitter went apeshit. Stick your head in.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: It'll take up the whole panel.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: Snapperini.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Send me that. So wait. So the shoes just simply
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: didn't fit. It didn't fit. And it's like the one
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: time in your life when you're dead.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: Come on. Right.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: But it was somebody took that picture. but didn't have
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: the permission to take the picture. But it was not
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: a good look. It looks like they're trying to squeeze
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: her foot into a.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: It was shameful.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I got to tell you, making bread, I'm going to
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: use it for the rest of my life.
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: You never heard that one?
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: I can't even take credit. That's a classic.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an old classic.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's Comedy 101, that one. I can't take credit
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: for that. But Aretha Franklin.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: Did you see the video that her granddaughter took at
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: her house, singing in her house in.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: February, I guess? Yes. Yes.
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: And then I clicked on her daughter's Instagram, and she
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: was doing her version of Killing Me Softly with her dad.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Right. Who I guess, obviously, is Aretha's son.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Roberta Flack.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: It's Roberta Flack.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Song.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Roberta Flack sang the song.
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: I know, but Aretha Franklin's granddaughter killing me softly.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Crushed it. She can sing her ass off.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: I saw that video of her singing at the house.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, at the house, Aretha's house, like a few months ago. No,
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Aretha was still doing it. She was still alive, yeah.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: The granddaughter basically- She bad. She had this post- That's killer.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: I'm going to look for that.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: She had this post.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: Basically saying, look, to you guys, she was the queen
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: of soul and this and that, but to me- She's
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: my grandma, and she filmed her.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: In February, which was only a few months before she died, obviously.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: She's still crushing it as a piano. She was unbelievable.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Just hanging out and just singing. And then it turns
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: out the granddaughter.
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: Best home movies ever, basically.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: And then the granddaughter, like, then I clicked on her Instagram,
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: and she does a version of.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: Killing Me Softly with her father, and it crushes. And
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, why isn't this girl singing somewhere? Maybe she is,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: and we just don't know.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But Aretha Franklin's granddaughter has a killer voice.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Incredible.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: That's killer good.
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: And she starts laughing at the end of it, so
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: you know she was just like fooling around.
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: My favorite Aretha trivia is not Aretha. Everybody knows Janet
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: Joplin's Peace of My Heart. Give me a life. The
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: original song is Aretha's sister, Irma Franklin, her only hit.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: Aretha has a sister named Irma Franklin. It's the original
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: version of Take a Little Peace of My Heart.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah. I fucking hate you. Yes, it is.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: I love telling everyone.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: How do you know that shit?
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Because I read.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: I read?
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: I'm reading like the.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: What you reading for? I'm reading.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: What you reading for? I'm reading the stuff that comes.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: I read for many reasons.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: If you buy the box set, I'm reading the book
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: that comes with it. That kind of stuff.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: So I had. Wait, wait. Slow down again. So Janis Joplin,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Peace of My Heart.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Is a cover.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: I did not know that. Is a cover. Is a cover.
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: And the original version is Irma Franklin. I think it's
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: E-R-M-A Franklin. It might be Irma.
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: Wait, and Aretha had a sister that had a head?
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: Irma Franklin, one hit, piece of my heart, one of
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: the best rock and roll.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: Songs of all time.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: I know you said all this, but I'm digesting it still.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: I'm processing it. Wait, was that her only hit?
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: That's her only hit.
• 42:10
  Speaker 4: And she's still alive?
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know that.
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: Because when Aretha died, that's my first thought was, I wonder.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: What Irma's doing.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: That's great. I never knew that.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: I always think of Irma.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Why the fuck aren't you on Jeopardy?
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: We hung out with Aretha's ex.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, he and I had a great night with Glenn Turman.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: Glenn Turman, baby.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: He said it was the love of his life.
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: They were married for like seven years, and me and
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: this idiot ran into him one night.
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: I hung out with him a couple times after that,
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: but he's a good dude, man. He's a good dude.
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: Irma's dead 16 years, according to Rapido.
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: He played in a different world. Yes. He played the general.
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: Because me and him were recognizing, we're asking him all
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: these Cosby questions and different world and fucking Lisa Bonet
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: and all this stuff.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, Lisa Bonet. And he's cool as he can be.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: So cool.
• 42:51
  Speaker 4: It takes him forever. And then he was in, I
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: Bring Up Bingo Long's Traveling All Stars.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: That's one of my favorite movies of all time.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: Great fucking movie.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: One of my favorite. Great movie. Great movie.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: Billy Dee Williams and Richard Pryor.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: And James Earl Jones.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: James Earl Jones.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: It's a great fucking movie. Like a Richard Pryor playing
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: a fake Indian? Yes.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Never heard of it.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: It's a great movie. It's the funniest movie. Oh, you
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: have to watch it tonight. Wait, what is it called again?
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: Bingo Long's Traveling All-Stars.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: They're a baseball team. Negro baseball. Traveling Black Baseball. I
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: got a movie story. I got a movie story. So good.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: By Glenn, yeah.
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: So when I steered him into Bingo Long, he said
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: something about Pryor. And then now me and Sherrod perk
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: up and then he goes into 10 minutes about, man,
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: I love Richard and we always.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Stayed in touch.
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: And he said he saw Pryor right when it had
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: been about three weeks before when he was told he
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: had MS. And he said he ran into him at
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: the comedy store. And so Glenn Turman was telling me
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: and Sherrod, he goes, man, I hate it.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: He goes, I didn't know.
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: And he goes, he knew me for a while from
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: the movie and 30 year friends. And he goes, man,
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: I got this multiple shit. And that's how Pryor told
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: him he had MS.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: And he goes, what?
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: And he looked at Glenn Turman and he goes, I
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: got this multiple shit. And Glenn Turman's going, what?
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: And he's like, what do you mean?
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: And he goes, MS. But Pryor wouldn't say MS.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Pryor goes, I got this multiple shit.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: That's how Pryor called it, like three or four weeks
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: after he found out he had it.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: So now me and him are over, we're just hanging
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: on every word.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: Every word.
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and so then finally, when he said the Pryor
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: thing and he said the multiple shit, then I look
• 44:08
  Speaker 4: at him and I'm like, wait a minute, you were
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: married to Aretha Franklin.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: And he was like, I was waiting on y'all to
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: bring that up.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Married to him.
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: He was one of the first people that went to
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: see her right there before she passed. Yeah.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: He's a good dude, man.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: He's a great dude. One of the greatest cab rides ever.
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: One of the greatest cab rides ever. It was crazy fun.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. He was living on Aubrey's side for a minute.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had him kidnapped. So my Aretha Franklin story is, Mikey,
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: can you get me a Jim Beam?
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: What is my fucking name, Stanley? I thought it was
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Elijah Craig. Let me get a Don Julio chill.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: See how I break the levy?
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: He broke me. And an orange slice. I was about
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: to wrap this up. We might as well keep going.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Get the strap. Get the street sweeper. And an orange slice.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, fuck.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: That's where I just started.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: I went outside for a cigarette before, and the best
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: thing that happens to me.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: What happened? Two little young little girls. She's like, hi, Cuban.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh. There we go.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, you. Hey, Cuban. Hey, hey, hey.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I love when the randoms... And they both.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Looked at each other and smiled before they said hi
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: to me.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, yep, that's me. Do you want to
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: lose 24 hours?
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: My bracelet's in your couch.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Wow. Oh, my God, Vic Henley was such a sport.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: My earrings are in your fireplace.
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: See, he also was, you forget, or at least you
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: might have been bullshitting and told me the truth or whatever,
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: because he plays it with, when we run into her,
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: he keeps playing up the, I met you, I met you.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: I go, you met her three times on Nantucket, Carl,
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: you did.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: And so finally... You're giving away my... Should I not say?
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Should I not say?
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I cannot say. No, go, say it. No, no, we're rolling.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: So finally, she finally.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: And we're having a great time. Wait, George Jefferson's coming.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: One second.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Weezy! Weezy! Weezy! Sherman Hemsley just won.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: He turned when I said Weezy.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: And Nick Solaris is here. Nick Solaris. We're just about
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: to end. No, we're going. All right, all right.
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: Don't fall down the stairs. Don't fall down the stairs.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: What's up, Nick? Oh, yeah. Yeah, remember? What's up, buddy?
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: Good to see you. Nick Solaris. How are you, baby?
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, get Nick in.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: I got to take a leak.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Go take a leak.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Why don't we, like, are we going to continue? Yeah,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: we're having fun. All right, we're having fun. We're at
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: Gephart's on the Upper West Side of New York City.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Nick Solaris has just showed up.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: We've been drinking for, like, two hours. Sherrod just decided
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: to have his first drink, so I guess we've got
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: to continue. Let me tell you something.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Now that Sherrod's having chilled Patron, bring your podcast. I'm
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: going to have one with him. I'm going to have
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: one with him.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: Take a break.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Get cigarettes done, all this shit. I got this.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: Joey, wrap this shit up.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Wrap it up.
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: Wrap it up.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: Rap, rap, rap, rap it up.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: We'll be back from Gephardt's on the Upper West Side,
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: New York City.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Rap it up. I take it. Rap it up. I
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: take it.