Latest / Philosophy and Faith / 06 - A Confession - Leo Tolstory

Transcript

06 - A Confession - Leo Tolstory · Philosophy and Faith

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Chapter six of a confession by Leo Tolstoy. In my
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: search for answers to life's questions, I experienced just what
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: is felt by a man lost in a forest. He
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: reaches a glade, climbs a tree, and clearly sees the
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: limitless distance, but sees that his home is not and
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: cannot be there. And he goes into the dark wood
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: and sees darkness, But there also his home is not.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: So I wandered in that wood of human knowledge, amid
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: the gleams of mathematical and experimental science, which showed me
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: clear horizons, but in a direction where there could be
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: no home, And also amid the darkness of abstract sciences,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: where I was immersed in a deeper gloom. The further
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I went, and where I finally convinced myself that there
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: was and could be no exit, yielding myself to the
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: bright side of knowledge, I understood that I was only
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: diverting my gaze from the question, however alluringly clear those
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: horizons which opened before me might be, however alluring it
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: might be to immerse oneself in the limitless expanse of
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: those sciences. I also understood that the clearer they were
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: the less they meant my need, and the less they
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: applied to my question. I know, I said to myself,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: what science so persistently tries to discover? And along that
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: road there is no reply to the question as to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: the meaning of my life? In the abstract sphere, I
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: understood that, notwithstanding the fact, or just because of the fact,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: that the direct aim of science is to reply to
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: my question, there is no reply but that which I
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: myself had been given. What is the meaning of my life?
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: There is none? Or what will come of my life? Nothing?
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Or why does everything exist that exists? And why do
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I exist? Because it exists? Inquiring for one region of
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: human knowledge, I received an innumerable quantity of exact replies
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: concerning matters about which I had not asked, About the
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: chemical constituents of the stars, about the movements of the
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Sun towards the constellation hercules, about the origin of species
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: and of man, about the forms of infinitely minute, imponderable
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: particles of ether. But in this sphere of knowledge, the
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: only answer to my question what is the meaning of
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: my life? Was you are what you call your life.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You are a transitory, casual cohesion of particles, the mutual
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: interactions and changes of these particles produce in you what
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: you call your life. That cohesion will last some time. Afterwards,
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: the interaction of these particles will cease, and what you
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: call life will cease, and so will all your questions.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: You are an accidentally united little lump of something. That
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: little lump ferments. The little lump calls that fermenting its life.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: The lump will disintegrate, and there will be an end
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: to the fermenting and of all the questions. So answers
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: the queer side of science, and cannot answer otherwise if
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: it strictly follows its principles. From such a reply, one
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: sees that the reply does not answer the question I
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: want to know the meaning of my life, but that
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: it is a fragment of the infinite, far from giving
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: a meaning, destroys every possible meaning. The obscure compromises which
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: that side of the experimental, exact science makes with the
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: abstract science when it says that the meaning of life
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: consists in development and cooperation with development, owing to their
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: inexactness and obscurity, cannot be considered as replies the other
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: side of science, the abstract side, when it holds strictly
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: to its principles, replying directly to the question, and in
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: all ages has replied in one in the same way,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: the world is something infinite, an incomprehensible part of that incomprehensible.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: All again, I exclude all those compromises between abstract and
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: experimental sciences, which supply the whole ballast of the semi
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: science is called judicial, political, and historical. In those semi sciences,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the conception of development and progress is again wrongly introduced,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: only with this difference, that there it was the development
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: of everything, while here it is a development of the
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: life of mankind. The error is there, as before, development
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: and progress in infinity can have no aim or direction,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: and as far as my question is concerned, no answer
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: is given in truly abstract science, namely in genuine philosophy,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: not that which Sopenhauer calls professional philosophy, which serves only
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: to classify all existing phenomena in new philosophic categories and
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: to call them by new names. Where the philosopher does
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: not lose sight of the essential question, the reply is
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: always one and the same reply given by Socrates, Schopenhauer, Solomon,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: and Buddha. We approach truth only inasmuch as we depart
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: from life, said Socrates, when preparing for death. For what
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: do we who love truth strive after in life? To
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: free ourselves from the body and from all evil that
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: is caused by life of the body. If so, then
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: how can we fail to be glad when death comes
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: to us? The wise man seeks death all his life,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: and therefore death is not terrible to him. And Schopenhauer says,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: having recognized the innermost essence of the world as will,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: and all its phenomena, from the unconscious working of the
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: obscure forces of nature up to the completely conscious action
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: of man, as only the objectivity of the will, we
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: shall in no way avoid the conclusion that, together with
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: voluntary renunciation and self destruction of the will, all those
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: phenomena also disappear. That constance striving an effort without aim
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: or rest on all the stages of objectivity and which
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: and through which the world exists, the diversity of successive
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: forms will disappear, and together with the form, all the
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: manifestations of the will, with its most universal forms space
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: and time, and finally, the most fundamental form subject an object.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Without will, there is no concept in no world before
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: us certainly nothing remains. But what resists this transition into
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: annihilation our nature is only the same wish to live
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: will zumleebum, which forms ourselves as well as our world.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: That we are so afraid of annihilation, or what is
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: the same thing that we so wish to live merely
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: means that we are ourselves nothing but this desire to live,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: and know nothing but it. And so what remains after
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: the complete annihilation of the will, For us, who are
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: so full of the will, is of course nothing. But
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: on the other hand, for those in whom the will
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: has turned and renounced itself, this so real world of ours,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: with all its sons and milky way, is nothing vanity
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: of vanities, says Solomon. Vanity of vanities, all is vanity?
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: What profit hath a man of all his labor which
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: he taketh under the sun? One generation patheth away, and
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: another generation cometh, But the earth abideth forever. The thing
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: that hath been is that which shall be, And that
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: which is done is that which shall be done. And
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: there is no new thing under the sun is there
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: anything aware of it? May be said, see this is
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: new It hath been already of old time which was
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: before us. There is no remembrance of former things. Neither
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: shall there be any remembrance of things that are to
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: come with those that shall come after. I the Preacher,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: was king over Israel and Jerusalem, and I gave my
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: that is done under heaven. This sword travail hath God
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: given to the sons of man, to be exercised therewith.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I have seen all the works that are done under
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the sun, and behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I communed with my own heart, saying, Lo, I am
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: come to great a state and have gotten more wisdom
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: than all they that have been before me over Jerusalem. Yea,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: my heart hath great experience of wisdom and knowledge. And
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: I gave my heart to know wisdom and to know
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: madness and folly. I perceive that this also is vexation
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief. And
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: he that increaseth knowledge increases sorrow. I said in my heart,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: go to now, I will provide thee with mirth, and
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: therefore enjoy pleasure. And behold, this also is vanity. I said,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: of laughter, it is mad and of mirth, what doeth it?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I sought in my heart how to cheer my flesh
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: with wine, And while my heart was guided by wisdom,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: to lay hold on folly till I might see what
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: it was good for the sons of men that they
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: should do under heaven the number of days of their life.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: I made me great works. I built me houses. I
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: planted me vineyards. I made me gardens and orchards, and
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: I planted trees in them, of all kinds of fruits.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: I made me pools of water to water there from
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: the forest where trees were reared. I got me servants
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and maidens, and had servants born in my house. Also
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I had great possessions of herds and flocks, above all
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: that were before me in Jerusalem. I gathered me also
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: silver and gold, and the peculiar treasure from kings and
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: from the provinces. I got me men singer and women singers,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and the delights of the sons of men as musical instruments,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: and all that of all sorts. So I was great
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: and increased more than all that were before me in Jerusalem.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Also my wisdom remained with me, and whatever mine eyes desired,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: from any joy. Then I looked on all the works
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: my hands had wrought, on the labor that I had
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: labored to do, and behold, all was vanity and vexation
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: of spirit, and there was no profit from them under
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: the sun. And I turned myself to behold wisdom and
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: madness and folly. But I perceived that one might even
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: happeneth to them. All, then said I in my heart,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: as it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth even
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: to me. And why was I then? More wise? Then
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I said in my heart that this is also vanity,
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: for there is no remembrance of the wise more than
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: of the fool forever, seeing that which is in the
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: days to come shall be all forgotten. And how dieth
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: the wise man as the fool. Therefore I hated life,
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: because the work that is wrought under the sun is
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: grievous unto me, for all was vanity and vexation of spirit. Yea,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I hated all my labor which I had taken under
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: the sun, seeing that I must leave it unto the
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: man that shall be after me. For what hath man
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: of all his life labor and of the vexation of
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: his heart, wherein he hath labored under the sun. For
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: all his days are sorrows, and his travail grief. Yea,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Even in the night his heart taketh no rest. This
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: is also vanity. Man is not blessed with security that
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: he should eat and drink and cheer his soul from
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: his own labor. All things come alike to all. There
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: is one event, to the righteous and to the wicked,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: to the good and to the evil, to the clean
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: and to the unclean. To him that sacrificeth in him
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: that sacrificeth not as is the good, so is the sinner,
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: and he that sweareth, as he that feareth an oath.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: This is an evil in all that is done under
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: the sun. That there is one event unto all. Yea.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Also the heart of the sons of men is full
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: and after that they go to the dead. For him
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: that is among the living, there is hope. For a
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: living dog is better than a dead lion. For the
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: living know that they shall die. But the dead know
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: not anything. Neither have they any more a reward. For
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: the memory of them is forgotten. Also their love and
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: their hatred, and their envy is now perished. Neither have
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: they any more apportion forever than anything that is done
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: under the sun. So said Solomon, or whoever wrote those words.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: And this is what the Indian wisdom tells. Sakyamuni, a young,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: happy prince from whom the existence of sickness, old age,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: and death had been hidden, went out to drive and
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: saw a terrible old man, toothless and slobbering. The prince,
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: from whom till then old age had been concealed, was
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: amazed and asked his driver what it was, and how
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: the man had come to such a wretched and disgusting condition.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And when he learned that this was the common fate
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: of all men, that the same thing inevitably awaited him,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: the young prince he could not continue his drive, but
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: gave orders to go home that he might consider this fact.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: So he shut himself up alone and considered it, and
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: he probably devised some consolation for himself, for he subsequently
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: again went out to drive, feeling merry and happy, But
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: this time he saw a sick man. He saw an emaciated, livid,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: trembling man with dim eyes. The prince from whom sickness
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: had been concealed, stopped and asked what this was. And
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: when he learned that this was sickness to which all
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: men are liable, and that he, himself, a healthy and
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: happy prince, might himself fall ill tomorrow, he again was
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: in no mood to enjoy himself, but gave orders to
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: drive home, and again sought some solace, and probably found it,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: for he drove out a third time for pleasure. But
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: this third time he saw another new sight. He saw
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: men carrying something. What is that? A dead man? What
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: does dead mean? Asked the prince. He was told that
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: to become dead means to become like that man. The
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Prince approached the corpse, uncovered it, and looked at it.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: What will happen to him now, asked the prince. He
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: was told that the corpse would be buried in the ground.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Why because he will certainly not return to life and
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: will only produce a stench in worms? And is that
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: the fate of all men? Will the same thing happen
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: to me? Will they bury me? Shall I cause a
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: stench and be eaten by worms? Yes? Home, I shall
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: not drive out for pleasure, and never will drive again.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: And Sakia Mouni could find no consolation in life, and
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: decided that life is the greatest of evils, and he
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: devoted all the strength of his soul to free himself
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: from it, and to free others, and to do so
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: that even after death, life shall not be renewed any more,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: but be completely destroyed at its very roots. So speaks
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: all the wisdoms of India. These are the direct replies
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: that human wisdom gives when it replies to life's question.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: The life of the body is an evil and a lie.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Therefore the destruction of the life of the body is
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: a blessing, and we should desire it, says Socrates. Life
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: is that which should not be an evil, and the
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: passage into nothingness is the only good in life. Says Schopenhauer.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: All that is in the world, folly and wisdom and
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: riches and poverty and mirth and grief, is vanity and emptiness.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Man dies and nothing is left of him, and that
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: is stupid, says Solomon. To live in the consciousness of
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: the inevitability of suffering, of becoming enfeebled, of old age,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: and of death is impossible. We must free ourselves from life,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: from all possible life, says Buddha. And what these strong
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: minds said has been said in thought and felt by
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: millions upon millions of people like them, and I had
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: thought and felt it. So my wandering among the sciences,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: far from freeing me from my despair, only strengthened it.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: One kind of knowledge did not reply to life's question.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: The other kind replied directly confirming my despair, indicating not
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: the result at which I had arrived was the fruit
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: of an error or of a disease state of my mind,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: but on the contrary, that I had thought correctly, and
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: that my mind coincided with the conclusions of the most
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: powerful of human minds. It is no good deceiving oneself.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: It is all vanity. Happy is he who has not
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: been born? Death is better than life, and one must
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: free oneself from life. End of Chapter six