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The Show Must Go On · Build Your Own Fairytale

0:10
Kristen: You have a great life, maybe even perfect life on paper.
0:14
Kristen: Yet, do you ever feel like you're not doing enough either at home or at work?
0:18
Kristen: Have you followed all the so-called"rules" yet somehow feel like you're missing something?
0:23
Kristen: Don't worry.
0:24
Kristen: You are not alone.
0:26
Kristen: Because guess what?
0:27
Kristen: The traditional paths society let us to blindly follow were not designed for today's women.
0:33
Kristen: We are dreamers.
0:35
Kristen: We are doers and we get to write our own stories.
0:39
Kristen: And this podcast is about taking ownership of your beautiful life, prioritizing your dreams and building your own fairytale.
0:46
Kristen: Hi, I'm your host, kristen Lettini.
0:48
Kristen: Join me each episode and we'll learn from real people who have boldly gone before us and share candid stories from their journeys.
0:54
Kristen: Because this is a team sport.
0:56
Kristen: When one of us wins, we all win by carving out new pathways for ourselves, our friends and our children.
1:02
Kristen: There's room for everyone to build their own fairytale.
1:05
Kristen: And listen, I get it because I'm a wife, a twin mom and a cat mom.
1:09
Kristen: I've worked in a small company and I've worked in a massive global company.
1:13
Kristen: I've gotten the degrees.
1:14
Kristen: I've been the primary breadwinner.
1:16
Kristen: I've also stayed at home with my kids briefly.
1:18
Kristen: I called in my summer of fun though.
1:20
Kristen: Technically it started out pretty far from that with the whole family getting COVID.
1:24
Kristen: But anywho- now I've changed my current status to entrepreneur, which is super exciting and scary at the same time.
1:31
Kristen: I'm calling time on sitting around and waiting for someone else or some one to swoop in and make it all happen.
1:38
Kristen: Because unlike those stories, we own the pen to this one.
1:42
Kristen: So consider yourself sprinkled with fairy dust and let's go.
1:46
Kristen: Welcome back for another episode of Build Your Own Fairytale.
1:50
Kristen: We are only a few episodes into season two with our focus on women who have built careers outside of the traditional nine to five.
1:56
Kristen: And I'm literally on cloud nine, having these conversations.
1:59
Kristen: I mean, they're just so exciting and inspiring to me.
2:02
Kristen: I hope you're finding the same as true.
2:04
Kristen: Last week we met Delana Green, Alaska native, who was bringing quality online music, education to children.
2:10
Kristen: I just had a blast talking to her.
2:12
Kristen: This week, the conversation starts with the focus on another children's extracurricular activity dance.
2:18
Kristen: But as you'll see, today's guest,Chasta Hamilton, is focused on being intentional in the environments in which we put our children, ensuring that the arts continue to enhance humanity and finding happiness in the way we approach life.
2:30
Kristen: She candidly shares her numerous struggles in her new book Handle the Horrible and whether or not your troubles are the same, there is universal truth in sharing them.
2:38
Kristen: And at the end of the day, Chasta reminds us that we have the choice to sink or swim.
2:43
Kristen: Get ready to once again be inspired by a woman who is making things happen; please welcome Chasta Hamilton.
2:49
Kristen: Chasta, welcome.
2:50
Kristen: I am so excited to have you on the podcast today.
2:53
Kristen: Thank you for being here.
2:54
Chasta: Thank you so much for having me, Kristen.
2:56
Chasta: I can't wait to chat.
2:57
Kristen: I know.
2:58
Kristen: And I don't even know what description to start with.
3:00
Kristen: Speaker, author, educator, business owner.
3:04
Kristen: Let's let's pick one.
3:06
Kristen: Can you start at the beginning of your journey because while it sounds amazing and you have this sort of fairytale looking life and career in my eyes right now, I know from reading your books that it didn't necessarily start off that way.
3:18
Kristen: So can you take us through that journey?
3:21
Chasta: Yeah.
3:22
Chasta: Well, and thank you for those compliments, but you know, it's like, it's the meme we see like going around on social media all the time of that iceber,.
3:29
Chasta: right?
3:29
Chasta: There's so much that we see on the surface and then there's so much that we don't see kind of below all of that, especially as we kind of go through these different phases of life.
3:38
Chasta: And, you know, I think what I've learned is that our lives are I'm in the performing arts industry.
3:44
Chasta: So our lives are very similar to a show that we're living.
3:48
Chasta: And I've been in dance since the age of two-dance and the arts were kind of a safe space for me.
3:53
Chasta: As I navigated some childhood trauma from losing both of my parents, I grew up in Eastern Tennessee and I wanted to get out more than anything.
4:02
Chasta: And that opportunity came through a full academic scholarship to North Carolina state university.
4:07
Chasta: So I moved from a very small place called Mohawk, Tennessee to Raleigh, North Carolina.
4:13
Chasta: And I wasn't sure having a full academic scholarship if it was a scholarly thing to pursue a career in the arts.
4:19
Chasta: So I thought I would be an attorney I was like, okay, well, the courtroom is like a form of theater.
4:28
Chasta: We can give that a whirl, but I had an undergraduate internship with our attorney general hated every single second of it and decided that just wasn't going to be my calling.
4:37
Chasta: So immediately after undergrad, I opened the first location of my dance studios, Stage Door Dance Productions.
4:45
Chasta: That was 2009.
4:46
Chasta: And you know, we were in a recession, an economic crisis, but I was 22 and confident and just didn't even think twice about it.
4:55
Chasta: So we opened and we kind of check the boxes of what good dance studios did.
4:59
Chasta: You know, I had done some freelance teaching.
5:00
Chasta: I grew up in dance studios.
5:03
Chasta: And we were successful, but there was just something you know, about that success that didn't feel truthful to my gut and to my vision.
5:12
Chasta: So in 2015, we extracted our studios because we had two locations at that point and still do from the competitive dance space to just focus on a rebranding that would offer something more humanistic in its approach that would focus on technique, performance, community and character and we just kind of laid low for a couple years and really leaned into that rebranding because I truly felt like not only could we elevate dance education, but we could elevate the standards of youth extracurricular experiences in general.
5:44
Chasta: And through that you know, we kind of put our heads down and we did the work and, that turned into my first book: Trash the Trophies, How to Win Without Losing Your Soul, and, you know, things were going great.
5:57
Chasta: We started a nonprofit, Girls Geared for Greatness and then COVID hit and it kind of everything up until that point, you know, it was, it was just such a trying time as a leader, as an artist.
6:10
Chasta: As a woman, as a person.
6:12
Chasta: And there was a lot of reflection and I gave my TEDx talk during that period of time.
6:18
Chasta: I was 36 weeks pregnant and I had a child during that time.
6:22
Chasta: And then, you know, I was also writing and created this new book that I'm very, very excited about Handle the Horrible; Change, Triage, Joy.
6:31
Chasta: So that's a little bit of, of course that's only like a highlights reel.
6:35
Kristen: I was gonna say, I want to rewind a little bit and a couple of those pieces that I know only a little bit more about.
6:42
Kristen: So one you just so smoothly were like, we just exited the competitive dance industry, but for those of our listeners who may not be familiar with the dance world and I, myself am only, on the peripheral because I have two nieces who are involved, which is actually how I found you.
6:55
Kristen: My sister-in-law was like, you have to read this book.
6:57
Kristen: It's so great.
6:58
Kristen: So anyway, tell us more about what that really meant, because if you've got a, a kid in dance, There's a huge aspect to it.
7:05
Chasta: Yeah, it's it's true.
7:07
Chasta: So in kind of this secular dance studio space, like your traditional American dance studio, you either have kind of the well rounded all styles, ballet tap, jazz acrobatics musical theater, which is how I would categorize our studios.
7:21
Chasta: Is that model, or you have more of like the classical ballet conservatory or you know, like a pre-professional program.
7:29
Chasta: Like an American ballet theater, Joffrey, University of North Carolina school of the arts, or just some example.
7:35
Chasta: So, you know, within that secular model kind of a way that people use validation is to participate in dance competitions.
7:45
Chasta: So this value on the business is coming through a deregulated profitized third party industry.
7:54
Chasta: So there's no standardization and it's very hard to educate parents on expectation because there's also a really intense financial investment required.
8:04
Chasta: So they're spending tons of money.
8:07
Chasta: They're assuming that that money is going to the dance studios, but the dance studios are actually funneling it to these competitions.
8:14
Chasta: And in my mind, you know, it was so frustrating if we were winning, people would saying, oh, well, we're not being challenged enough.
8:20
Chasta: We need to go somewhere where we can be pushed further and harder.
8:24
Chasta: And if they weren't winning, they were saying, oh, well we're not being challenged enough.
8:28
Chasta: So we need to go somewhere.
8:29
Chasta: It was a lose lose.
8:31
Chasta: And that was kind of the tip of the iceberg from like the business perspective, then there's also just that gut feeling of like, what are we doing?
8:41
Chasta: Like, is this the best return on investment?
8:43
Chasta: And, you know, I kept looking at it and I didn't have a child at the time, but I kept thinking if I had a child, like, I'm not sure I could justify this expense as the best tools for training them to progress.
8:54
Chasta: Not only as a dancer and an artist, but as a human.
8:57
Chasta: And I think that's the purpose of art overall is to enhance humanity.
9:02
Chasta: So we have to say like, are the vehicles we're taking enhancing humanity?
9:06
Chasta: Are we holding it still or pushing it back?
9:09
Chasta: And you know, so much more has come out about the competitive dance space.
9:13
Chasta: Since we left, even since I wrote the book there's been a lot of just really core shaking, icky things coming out and, and what I think is opportunity and what I was hoping the book would accomplish, I would really love to see a call to action, to rise, and to redevelop this, you know, big bear of a beast to say like, how can we best serve the children?
9:39
Kristen: Yeah, I love that.
9:41
Kristen: And can you say more about the internal monologue that I'm sure you had?
9:45
Kristen: Because you had this gut feeling, you looked at the finances, you were hearing the parents, but it wasn't something that people just did.
9:53
Kristen: If they were running a successful dance studio to be like, sorry, we're gonna get, we're gonna cut out and then not worry about are my family's gonna leave the studio.
10:00
Kristen: What are we gonna do instead?
10:01
Kristen: Like, can you speak to that?
10:02
Kristen: Because that I know was a huge part of making that decision.
10:07
Chasta: It was, and it did not come easy It was a very slow decision, like two years.
10:12
Chasta: And I do think in retrospect, I wish that I had had a little more confidence in my gut at the time to move a little bit faster.
10:18
Chasta: I think by drawing out that decision it created even more turmoil and unrest, but I'm so glad that we ultimately leaned into it.
10:26
Chasta: And we did, we lost staff that went on and created their own programs.
10:30
Chasta: And we lost a lot of students, but by the time we were ready to kind of say, this is where we're drawing the line and this is where we're going.
10:41
Chasta: I had such a strong belief that this is what I had to do in order to keep this life, you know, as you would probably call it this fairytale, going because I didn't want it to turn into this dark place that I dreaded being a part of.
10:56
Chasta: I wanted it to continue being a light, not only for me, but to our students and to the world.
11:03
Chasta: So, there were hard moments because we all know there are the parts of the fairytale that we think everything is just going really, really bad and, you know, and when we start getting choked up or we start getting stressed and we just keep telling ourselves that, like, it's not gonna end on a sad note.
11:19
Chasta: But it was kinda one of those moments where I just had to really remind myself it's going to be okay if we stay committed to what we're focused on.
11:25
Chasta: If we rally this new culture, we get a staff that's fully on board.
11:29
Chasta: And a lot of our staff did stay.
11:30
Chasta: And the staff that did stay are, are so in and so amazing and incredible.
11:35
Chasta: And then let's build clients that subscribe to this vision.
11:40
Chasta: And so while we did lose a lot, initially that following season, our overall enrollment increased 25%.
11:47
Chasta: So that was kind of the first sign of like, yes, this is on the right track.
11:50
Chasta: And you know, over the years, so many of the people that left have come back, some have apologized some come back to dance, some come back just to kind of You know, make sure that the bridge isn't burned and, and it's not because I really believe when we're leading and living with passion and truth, there's just so much grace and empathy and, and understanding, in that process.
12:12
Chasta: It kinda just takes that, you know, nasty stuff out of the equation.
12:15
Kristen: Yeah.
12:16
Kristen: I love that.
12:17
Kristen: When you led with that bravery, that conviction of like, this is what's right.
12:21
Kristen: It attracts, like you said the right people, the right clientele.
12:25
Kristen: So it actually went up and then people would come back, you could, you know, smooth things over it's just because you were leading with that authentic,, self truth, right.
12:35
Kristen: That there was no reason for any.
12:38
Kristen: Negativity to follow.
12:39
Kristen: Right.
12:39
Kristen: So, okay.
12:40
Kristen: That is amazing.
12:42
Chasta: But you know, the one thing to say is like, in the moment, it's, it's very quiet because people do they fear change.
12:48
Chasta: They're very resistant to it.
12:50
Chasta: So you're not gonna have people being like, wow, you're a game changer.
12:54
Chasta: You're a disruptor.
12:55
Chasta: You're really rocking this space.
12:57
Chasta: Everybody's just kind of quiet and you have to be so confident because I feel like the feedback doesn't actually start coming until like your vision is being proven.
13:07
Chasta: Yeah.
13:07
Chasta: I mean, for us, it was a year plus until we actually started seeing internally that we were on the right track and then it took even longer to go like, beyond on our walls for people to really understand what we were doing.
13:20
Kristen: Yeah.
13:21
Kristen: Well, so say more about that.
13:22
Kristen: Because I know before we hit record, you mentioned writing sort of became another outlet for you to, to process that.
13:27
Kristen: So.
13:28
Kristen: You switched the model.
13:29
Kristen: And then when did you start writing?
13:31
Chasta: So I was speaking at a conference in 2018.
13:35
Chasta: It was a dance education conference.
13:36
Chasta: And in one of my sessions, I had mentioned that we had exited the competitive dance space.
13:41
Chasta: Which, you know, dance competitions are often sponsors of these events.
13:46
Chasta: So I haven't really been back to speaking these platforms because, you know, it's money.
13:53
Chasta: So I think.
13:55
Chasta: I might have like overstepped kind of the, the expectations there, but like, I, I always feel if you're moving forward in your authentic truth, then you don't have to apologize for that.
14:05
Chasta: So I was telling our story and afterwards, a woman came up to me in the hall.
14:10
Chasta: Her studios are somewhere on the west coast.
14:12
Chasta: I didn't get a name.
14:13
Chasta: I didn't get a location, but she had tears in her eyes and she said the competition piece of my program is ruining my passion and I wish I had the bravery that you had.
14:26
Chasta: And like, I could just, I could feel her pain because I had felt that pain a few years prior.
14:32
Chasta: And I said, oh, reach out, find me, reach out to me.
14:35
Chasta: But she never did.
14:36
Chasta: So I came home from that conference and this, just this weighed on me.
14:40
Chasta: And I was like, you know what, what if there are more of us?
14:43
Chasta: Like what if there were more of us, you know, at one point I was like breaking out in hives, in target because I was feeling so stressed.
14:48
Chasta: I would sit in the car and cry.
14:49
Chasta: I would stand in the shower and cry.
14:51
Chasta: So I just said like, what if this story could help like one other person.
14:55
Chasta: So that that's when I started writing and that book came out in August of 2020, which was like a very strange time for a book to be released.
15:03
Chasta: I was like, are there's even gonna be dance competitions?
15:05
Chasta: Like, you know, how is this all gonna land?
15:08
Chasta: And it, it kind of came out with a whisper a bit slowly but surely I started hearing from people.
15:13
Chasta: And now, I can think of six different states where studios have flipped their model because of the book.
15:19
Chasta: Some that I've worked alongside, I've had parents say that it's changed their perspective and how they approach it.
15:25
Chasta: And, you know, I always like to say, like, I'm not anti-competitive.
15:29
Chasta: But I think we have to be intentional in the environments in which we put our children.
15:35
Chasta: And, that's my platform.
15:36
Chasta: So if it's helping people, whether they are continuing to dance competitions, or whether they're realizing that maybe there's another way to heighten their child's dance education or any of their extracurricular training, then I think that it has made its mark
15:51
Kristen: absolutely.
15:52
Kristen: And now I'm just thinking, okay, you open the studio, you changed the model, you wrote a book you've been speaking, and then you decided to open a nonprofit?
16:03
Chasta: So, yeah, so the nonprofit started under stage Door Dance productions in 2018.
16:09
Chasta: Because when this rebranding was happening, we had a parent who said, I really think that you would be a great candidate to offer leadership development for our female youth, because in our studios, you know, we're very lucky that we do have boys.
16:23
Chasta: But they are about 10%.
16:24
Chasta: Whereas our female identifying youth are about 90%.
16:28
Chasta: So at the time I was just like, there's so much on the plate this is around 2016.
16:32
Chasta: I don't think now is the time.
16:34
Chasta: But at that same conference where this lady was telling me that she was so fearful of leaving competition.
16:40
Chasta: That's when I also realized this is, this is the time to activate this leadership program.
16:44
Chasta: So we started it under stage Door Dance in fall of 2018.
16:48
Chasta: And we did that for a season.
16:49
Chasta: We reached 250 girls in our community dancers and non dancers talking about things like leadership, perseverance, entrepreneurship arts leadership and education and people were like, well, why isn't this a nonprofit?
17:02
Chasta: Because you could be getting so many grants in funding.
17:05
Chasta: And I was like, you know, that's valid.
17:07
Chasta: So because I didn't want it to just be this thing that like incubated at stage door dance, like I felt like it could be so much bigger and the impact could be broader.
17:14
Chasta: So we started the process of filing for a 5 0 1 C three, right around February of 2020.
17:25
Chasta: And everything kind of got backlogged and it got delayed.
17:30
Chasta: Everyone was Zoomed out, you know, we tried to do like a little digital thing, but it was just like, is this gonna work or not?
17:37
Chasta: And, you know, I'm a type A person.
17:41
Chasta: So it was kind of really difficult for me to see this organization kind of sit dormant during that period of time.
17:47
Chasta: But I was like, we need to figure out the best path for what Girls Geared for Greatness can be.
17:53
Chasta: So in September, 2021 as a, non-profit a, very bootstrap, grassroots, nonprofit, and we're still piloting and learning and evolving.
18:02
Chasta: But we decided to create a modular program.
18:06
Chasta: So phase one released in 2021 it's free and any dance studio, homeschool, private school, any organization or extracurricular that reaches a female, identifying youth audience can use this modular program for no charge.
18:21
Chasta: And we provide a affiliate training.
18:23
Chasta: We help them understand how to build speaker series in their programs with the voices of their community.
18:29
Chasta: So we had over 50 programs in the us and Canada that were interested, but we had about six that really saw the program through, from start to finish last year.
18:37
Chasta: And we learned a lot about what worked, what didn't, how it could be better.
18:42
Chasta: And so this October phase two, which is going to be called cents C E N Ts and sensibility is going to roll out for programs that want to continue to elevate past that phase one module or new programs can enter at phase one and then move on to phase two So the first module is about the past present and future of female leadership.
19:04
Chasta: The second module is more on Literal tangible skills, like financial literacy career, life, and confidence and wellness.
19:13
Kristen: Wow.
19:14
Kristen: And what I love so much about this is that.
19:16
Kristen: If you can, you know, get this to young girls, right.
19:21
Kristen: Maybe more of us as adults, as women, won't have to struggle with these decisions of oh, but I really feel like I should do something different instead of what everyone else is telling me to do or what they think is the right thing.
19:33
Kristen: Right.
19:33
Kristen: So I love that.
19:34
Kristen: Starting even younger.
19:35
Kristen: Maybe we can avoid some of that turmoil on that high.
19:37
Chasta: Yeah.
19:38
Chasta: And just hearing, that inner voice and, you know, one of the biggest factors that kind of pushed me towards starting this was the me too movement.
19:47
Chasta: And it just, it felt like the conversation was so in the rear view, Like, why weren't we doing more to talk about all of this before it became me too?
19:56
Chasta: So I was like, you know, even if we can take it to like a more tangible level of like, let's teach what an IRA is or how to understand your finances or how to put forth yourself on a resume, all of these things that are so important for a successful life as a female, but they get overlooked and missed in your extracurriculars or even in schools, you know, and that was the thing is with the dance studios, we were like, we have so much to teach, but when we're dancing, we need to be dancing.
20:25
Chasta: But we created a program, a stage door dance called our leadership lab, which is where these modules are used and executed on our sites.
20:33
Kristen: I love that.
20:35
Kristen: So, okay.
20:36
Kristen: You've done just a couple things.
20:38
Kristen: Just a couple.
20:38
Kristen: And now you have another new book out.
20:41
Kristen: Can you speak to that second book?
20:43
Chasta: Yeah, so when I was finally selected to give a TEDx talk, which I was rejected, like so many times, and that's a, that's another thing about my story is I am probably told yes, one time for every 100 nos.
20:56
Chasta: So no one can take rejection as like the end of anything.
21:00
Chasta: Like, I always just say like, keep going, keep asking, keep throwing yourself out there.
21:04
Chasta: So when I started my TEDx talk, I knew I wanted it to be about perseverance because in the middle of this pandemic was just such a collective global crisis.
21:12
Chasta: And if there's one thing that I think we all have to do, you know, there's so much anxiety and just feeling overwhelmed and this, this return to normalcy, but things are still not really normal.
21:25
Chasta: It's a lot to process.
21:26
Chasta: So if there's one thing I want my people to know is that regardless of what happens, they can survive.
21:32
Chasta: So I came into my meeting with my speech curator with like 20 topics, like 20 different things we could talk about in terms of like hard, difficult things.
21:42
Chasta: And she was like, whoa, this is all like very meaningful.
21:45
Chasta: And this is a lot of heaviness.
21:47
Chasta: And this talk is only 17 minutes.
21:50
Chasta: So she was like, let's focus on perseverance and the arts.
21:55
Chasta: So we did the TED talk, but I still had this list and I, you know, I kept kind of looking at it and I was like, gosh, there has been so much that's happened immediately and kind of like throughout the course of my life and the arts have kind of been this common thread that have helped me push through and navigate towards survival.
22:13
Chasta: So I just started writing.
22:15
Chasta: And I honestly, like, I'm not even sure how it was written, because I had a newborn during all of this too.
22:21
Chasta: But at night I would just stay up and I would write and it's one of those pieces where it's so personal that I'm not sure I ever would've felt like it was perfect.
22:30
Chasta: But I felt like it was the perfect time to release some of these stories and these messages.
22:36
Chasta: So I just did it.
22:38
Kristen: Wow.
22:38
Kristen: And after reading it, I can tell you, I do.
22:40
Kristen: I, I message you.
22:41
Kristen: I'm like, I feel like we could be best friends.
22:43
Kristen: Like you put so much in there.
22:44
Kristen: I felt like I learned so much and could relate and I loved the whole tie back with the arts and like, you.
22:49
Kristen: Even structured it as pieces of a show.
22:51
Kristen: And being a theater nerd myself, at one point I was a rock solid ensemble member, never the star of the show.
22:58
Chasta: same
22:58
Kristen: My husband likes to joke that I apparently said that I was when we met, I was like, I never said such a thing.
23:02
Kristen: I think I had two lines in four years of being in the show, like never, never the lead.
23:08
Kristen: Anyway I always appreciate a good show.
23:10
Kristen: I love Broadway.
23:11
Kristen: I love musicals.
23:12
Kristen: So I loved all the tiebacks and connections you had in there.
23:16
Kristen: And I have to ask because I do, I always cry at the curtain call.
23:19
Kristen: Anytime I see a show, it doesn't matter good or bad.
23:22
Kristen: I cry when they come out.
23:23
Kristen: Do you, do you cry too?
23:24
Kristen: Is that something?
23:25
Chasta: So, you know, it depends.
23:26
Chasta: I think it depends on the show and I talk about this in the book and I directed a show- Ghost the Musical in 2017 and the ending is so sad, it's based on the movie, right?
23:37
Chasta: So it's like the Patrick Swayze thing where, you know, Molly sees him and, and it's like very sad and then it ends.
23:44
Chasta: And that was a show for me where I was like, I don't think we can do a curtain call.
23:48
Chasta: Like how can you end with that?
23:50
Chasta: And then.
23:51
Chasta: You know, I mean, yeah, people are gonna be crying, but it's like, we can't turn it into this like Megamix or you know, like an uplifting moment.
24:01
Kristen: Yeah.
24:01
Kristen: I remember now that in the book where, and you got some feedback too, for not a lot.
24:05
Chasta: Yeah.
24:05
Chasta: And that, that was kind of a moment where I realized how much curtain call means to some people.
24:11
Chasta: But it, but it makes sense.
24:12
Chasta: Right.
24:12
Chasta: And that was kind of a learning opportunity for me because people love closure.
24:17
Chasta: And because we, we didn't give them closure in that experience, it made them uncomfortable.
24:22
Chasta: So I love the routine of it, right?
24:25
Chasta: Like it is kind of this heralded moment.
24:28
Chasta: Hmm.
24:28
Chasta: And I do have experience in trying to take that away.
24:33
Chasta: it was not well received but
24:35
Kristen: maybe it's the closure.
24:36
Kristen: I cannot put my finger or words on what it is, but every time my eyes tear up, I, I could know nobody in the production.
24:42
Kristen: It may have been like a so-so production, but I will tear up at the current call.
24:46
Kristen: So
24:47
Chasta: I will say, I find myself getting really sentimental.
24:51
Chasta: When I see curtain calls with youth theater.
24:53
Chasta: My dog Elvis played Toto in a production of the wizard of Oz that I choreographed when he was two years old.
24:59
Chasta: It was in 2019.
25:00
Chasta: It was actually the last show I worked on before the pandemic.
25:03
Chasta: And they were, it was their senior night.
25:05
Chasta: Right.
25:05
Chasta: So, so the kids get so emotional.
25:07
Chasta: I mean, we all remember like being a high school senior.
25:11
Chasta: How big that feels at the time.
25:14
Chasta: And, you know, they're all up there crying.
25:16
Chasta: And it was so sweet because they brought this closing night gift basket for Elvis too, which had like all these dog treats on it.
25:25
Chasta: So he had a handler and the handlers holding this like huge treat basket for Elvis.
25:29
Chasta: All the kids are up there, like bawling their eyes out and Elvis is just sticking his head in the treat basket, like trying to pull out the treat filled bone.
25:38
Chasta: And I was like, Elvis, read the room.
25:40
Chasta: Not right now.
25:41
Kristen: Pull it together Elvis.
25:42
Kristen: Oh my gosh.
25:42
Chasta: Yes.
25:43
Chasta: Get your head out of the basket.
25:45
Chasta: But you know, it was, it was a hoot and it kind of made that really emotional moment, a little bit lighter, but.
25:50
Chasta: I do think there are just, there are just so many feels with curtain calls, which is why that was a really great chapter in the book because I do think a curtain call evokes emotion.
26:00
Kristen: Well, and I thought they were all great chapters personally.
26:03
Chasta: Thank you.
26:03
Kristen: But yeah, so you got all this heaviness out in the book.
26:07
Kristen: I imagine that was healing for you and it can be uplifting and healing for others.
26:12
Kristen: So that is super exciting.
26:14
Kristen: Tell us where people can find the book, how they can read the book or both books actually.
26:19
Chasta: Yeah.
26:19
Chasta: So they're on Amazon.
26:21
Chasta: We have.
26:22
Chasta: Kindle, audible should be out the same time as both hard cover paperback and Kindle Barnes and noble.
26:29
Chasta: We're hoping that it'll be on some shelves in stores.
26:32
Chasta: But yeah, it's really exciting.
26:34
Chasta: And.
26:35
Chasta: You know, I learned so much about the publishing industry with Trash the Trophies.
26:39
Chasta: And so I feel like I'm coming into to this launch of Handle the Horrible with just like a greater understanding of, you know, it can be so scary to push these stories out it's easy to wanna hold them close to like your circle and people, you know, but they make the most impact the broader they reach.
26:57
Chasta: There's so much just universal truth in it whether it's death or divorce, miscarriage, things not going as plan disappointments disruptions.
27:08
Chasta: It's just this universal cycle of the things that we don't expect That we have to deal with and they can either sink us or we can decide to swim.
27:17
Chasta: So my hope for this book is that it's going to land on the right heart and just make people feel that no matter what's happening, they can still find a little bit of joy and happiness and truth in the way they approach their life.
27:31
Kristen: Wow.
27:31
Kristen: You are such like a bright, a bright light.
27:33
Kristen: I love it.
27:34
Chasta: thank you.
27:35
Chasta: Thank you.
27:36
Kristen: And also you just, again, sort of glossed over and you wrote this all with a newborn, right?
27:40
Kristen: So tell us about how you're balancing all of these many ventures, your success with a young family.
27:47
Chasta: Yeah.
27:48
Chasta: So we had Sebastian, we call him Bash in May of 2021.
27:54
Chasta: And, you know, and I talk about it in the book had an early pandemic miscarriage that was really just shattering, you know, I'm not going to try to like cover up that it wasn't just a heartbreaking experience that so many women go through and experience and they often do so very quietly.
28:11
Chasta: So, you know, it was just, it was this time of so much chaos, and saving a small business in the middle of it, going through a miscarriage, finding out we're having this healthy pregnancy and kind of sitting in that and, and then him being born.
28:27
Chasta: You know, his birth was just at like such a time where there was a lot of optimism in May of 2021 that things were, you know, and then, then it got weird again, but you know, like it's, it's all of this, like normal, not normal.
28:42
Chasta: So, so having him has just been such a bright light because it's just a reminder that everything that we are doing is for this future, you know, whether it's it's for our actual children or you know, children in our families or the audiences we serve, like the children at the studio.
29:02
Chasta: Like I always say, I feel like the dance studios prepared me to be a mom.
29:06
Chasta: And I feel like having a child has challenged me to make sure that I'm offering the best programming possible.
29:13
Chasta: For these hundreds of children every single week, because they are the future.
29:16
Chasta: So it's been just.
29:19
Chasta: Kind of amazing full circle moment to lean into.
29:22
Chasta: But with that said, I did a podcast a few months ago and they were like, how would you describe it?
29:26
Chasta: And I was like, I think I would just describe it as like magical mayhem.
29:29
Chasta: like, it's wild.
29:30
Chasta: And you know, we're not using a nanny or childcare.
29:33
Chasta: My husband and I are both full time.
29:35
Chasta: But we are both have flexible hours.
29:37
Chasta: So he can pull a little here.
29:39
Chasta: I can pull a little extra there.
29:41
Chasta: And it's really helped the teamwork of our partnership as we kind of navigate this new life that we are so grateful and blessed for.
29:50
Chasta: But that being said, it's not easy.
29:52
Chasta: There are challenges and you kind of figure it out as you go.
29:55
Chasta: And I even, I wrote on my blog last summer, how having a baby is kind of like show business too, because you like have to set the props out every night.
30:04
Chasta: Like, I there's so much more like planning required in your day to day scheduling and but it it's great and he has a huge personality and he loves going to the dance studios.
30:14
Chasta: And I mean, the staff, the children have just embraced him wholey
30:18
Kristen: I love that whole correlation to the behind the scenes.
30:20
Kristen: Like a lot went into.
30:23
Kristen: You know, getting ready, getting out the door.
30:24
Kristen: I used to think that like sitting in church with my husband, like so much went into just getting the four of us here when they're little, like there's a lot of work to come sit here.
30:32
Kristen: like, you don't walk behind the scenes.
30:34
Chasta: And let's talk about taking the little one on trips, like talk about like next level preparedness.
30:40
Chasta: And we kind of knew when he was born.
30:44
Chasta: It was a priority for me to make sure that my career was able to get back on track too, because it had kind of been sitting in the sidelines for so long.
30:51
Chasta: So travel was resuming and we just kind of rolled with it and I mentioned this in the book.
30:57
Chasta: I think like when I was pregnant, so many people would be like, oh, well you can't, you can't continue your career like you have been, or you're not going to be able to eat dinner together.
31:08
Chasta: And I took that to my therapist and, and she was just like, people are only sharing their negative scripts and experiences.
31:16
Chasta: And I truly believe that everybody just has to find like everyone is the perfect parent for their child.
31:23
Chasta: And however you choose to parent You know, you just have to figure out what works for you.
31:28
Chasta: And I mean, there's millions of books and chatboards telling you how to do it, but I kind of shut those out pretty early on because I was just like, this is too much
31:37
Kristen: Yeah.
31:37
Kristen: Well, it's kinda back to your earlier statement.
31:39
Kristen: I'm like listening to that gut, right?
31:41
Kristen: Because people mean, well, when they're like, oh yeah, don't worry.
31:44
Kristen: You're not gonna be able to do it that way.
31:45
Kristen: Cuz they think they're trying to prepare you for like change, but really they're not being helpful.
31:50
Chasta: Exactly.
31:51
Chasta: Yeah.
31:51
Chasta: It's been good for me to think about how I communicate with others too.
31:56
Kristen: A lot of a self-reflection.
31:57
Kristen: Well, thinking back on all these things you've done and I'm sure there's so much greatness to come, what's one piece of advice you would give another woman who's thinking of starting something different, something new, going out on her own.
32:10
Chasta: I would absolutely say, do the strategy and do the research, so be informed, but then do it and commit to it and committing to it means the really terrible moments and the really great moments.
32:25
Chasta: And I think so often we are told that women can't right.
32:30
Chasta: And that especially like with the"she-cession" and small businesses closing and or we're told like it has to be done this way or that way.
32:38
Chasta: And so there's two pieces of it, there's the vision.
32:41
Chasta: And then there's the work.
32:42
Chasta: And if you can have the vision and you can have the work that goes behind it, that's where I think the magic really happens.
32:47
Chasta: And I think that's exciting and I think we need more of.
32:50
Kristen: I 100% agree.
32:51
Kristen: And that's why this whole season is talking to women like you, who found ways outside of those quote, traditional paths, right.
32:58
Kristen: There's way more out there than just what somebody's gonna say.
33:01
Kristen: Oh, well this is gonna come next.
33:03
Kristen: That's just what happens.
33:04
Kristen: So I love that you've already done so much and paved the way.
33:07
Kristen: What is on tap for your act two as you call it or next up in the fairytale?
33:12
Chasta: Yeah.
33:13
Chasta: So.
33:15
Chasta: I mean, who knows?
33:16
Chasta: Right.
33:17
Chasta: at the end of the day.
33:18
Chasta: In 2015, I'm not sure that I would've thought that there would be two books and a TED talk and a baby and a pandemic, all of these pieces that have kind of fallen into place.
33:29
Chasta: So I used to be like a much more long range planner and now I am still strategic and I think about visions, but they're much more of what's happening kind of as we see it and how can we address it?
33:43
Chasta: So, I mean, ultimately I'm gonna lean into this book launch for a little bit and I'm hoping that I'll get to talk to a lot of people and hear their stories and, and hear how the book has impacted and changed them.
33:57
Chasta: We're also rolling out a new extracurricular enhancement program called Be More at Your Door.
34:02
Chasta: So extracurriculars can kind of implement tools and strategies that have worked really well for us.
34:08
Chasta: In terms of client engagement, customer service, staff training, et cetera.
34:14
Chasta: I'm excited for that.
34:15
Chasta: I'm excited to watch Girls Geared for Greatness, continue to soar.
34:19
Chasta: And, you know, the past few years have really been kind of a beat down and a rebuild.
34:24
Chasta: And I feel like we're kind of in the middle of the rebuild right now.
34:28
Chasta: So once that rebuild gets finished, then I think we can continue saying what's next and where are we going?
34:33
Chasta: But the things that I do know is that there will be dancing and talking and reading and art and hopefully inspiring and empowering parts of the fairytale.
34:44
Kristen: I'm 100% confident that there will be.
34:47
Kristen: I love how you put all those things together.
34:49
Chasta: Yeah.
34:49
Chasta: That's what I know, how they'll all happen.
34:51
Chasta: I don't exactly know, but I know that those things will exist.
34:56
Kristen: Well, even the reminder too, of you used to be long term, but now you're like, listen, I don't know all the details, but I know these few things and we're gonna have fun with it and see where it takes us.
35:04
Chasta: So exactly.
35:06
Kristen: That is awesome.
35:08
Kristen: Another very important question for you.
35:10
Kristen: We've gotten to learn a lot about you in this discussion, but I really wanna know if you could be a fairytale or fictional character, who would you be?
35:18
Chasta: I would have to be Tiana from princess and the frog.
35:21
Chasta: I mean, since that came out in 2009, I've just, I was so enchanted.
35:25
Chasta: Is it a perfect story?
35:26
Chasta: No.
35:27
Chasta: Most fairy tales aren't right.
35:28
Chasta: they all have their issues.
35:30
Chasta: But what I liked about it is I felt like it was the first time that we were seeing a desire for entrepreneurship in the form of a fairy tale.
35:40
Chasta: And I don't think that's something that had been really discussed this, you know, struggle of a female really, really wanting something and having to put the work into it.
35:51
Chasta: And the first time I heard Almost There, I was just like, wow, this is true.
35:58
Kristen: I love that song.
35:59
Kristen: And we've had many, a times where after watching we'll play the soundtrack, and my girls and I we'll be like belting it out, with the whole New Orleans sort of vibe to it.
36:07
Kristen: It's I love it.
36:08
Chasta: I love New Orleans.
36:09
Chasta: It's one of my favorite cities and there's just something charming and enchanting.
36:15
Chasta: And I, I just, I feel like it didn't quite get the traction that it deserved.
36:22
Kristen: Yeah, I guess it did kind of go.
36:23
Kristen: I mean, I didn't discover it until recently with my kids now being older and into discovering all the movies, but yeah,
36:28
Chasta: it kind of just, it kind of just slid through.
36:30
Chasta: It's exciting to kind of see this next generation of fairytales.
36:34
Kristen: It is, it really is.
36:36
Kristen: And I love that our children, boys, and girls will have those stronger role models.
36:40
Kristen: Cause you look back, you're like, oh man, Snow White, what were you doing?
36:44
Kristen: like, they're still lovable.
36:45
Kristen: We're not getting rid of'em, but like, yeah, they could have a little more confidence there.
36:50
Chasta: Yeah, the conversations definitely shift depending on the season of the fairy tale.
36:54
Chasta: And I do, I feel like the conversations and the newer movies can be so much more meaningful.
36:59
Chasta: Whereas I feel like we have to look at the older ones is almost parables.
37:04
Chasta: You know, maybe this is a fun song.
37:06
Chasta: This is fun for nostalgic purposes.
37:10
Chasta: Let's let's talk about some of the issues.
37:13
Kristen: Yeah, let's talk about some of the issues, which made me think about another, you go girl moment that you posted about.
37:19
Kristen: Can you tell us about how you reached out to the creator of Dry Bar, Ali Webb?
37:24
Chasta: Yeah.
37:24
Chasta: That was kind of cool.
37:25
Chasta: So I do think that in as women that's, that's so important for us is that we manifest the rooms that we wanna be a part of.
37:35
Chasta: So we wanna find people that inspire us or whose paths may be spark a curiosity on us.
37:42
Chasta: And then we want to kind of find ways to, to get to where those people are so that we can learn from them.
37:48
Chasta: And I've always been a big dry bar fan.
37:50
Chasta: Our local dry bar here is one of my favorite places to go.
37:54
Chasta: And, Ali Webb created the brand sold.
37:57
Chasta: It had a huge exit and.
37:59
Chasta: I'm part of this organization called no women, which is a really amazing organization.
38:04
Chasta: They have a summit, I was slated to speak at the summit.
38:07
Chasta: And then the keynote was announced as Ali web.
38:10
Chasta: And now they have all of these partnerships with Ali web.
38:13
Chasta: And it, it was just a very exciting moment to say, you know, to see and to think.
38:19
Chasta: This is someone that in the dredges of the pandemic I was looking to for inspiration, for wisdom.
38:25
Chasta: And now here we are in the same space.
38:27
Kristen: Yeah.
38:28
Kristen: Side by side
38:29
Chasta: side by side.
38:30
Chasta: And that's great.
38:31
Chasta: And that's where we wanna be as women.
38:32
Chasta: So I think so often we isolate ourselves into our industries where we don't have to do that.
38:38
Chasta: We can look.
38:39
Chasta: At this very broad space for anyone that inspires us and we can extend an invitation to talk, or we can find ways to kind of work our way into those rooms.
38:51
Chasta: And I think doing that, we just have to have complete and utter confidence in ourselves.
38:56
Kristen: Any tips or ideas I believe for Allie's case, you sent a cold email.
39:00
Kristen: Right.
39:01
Chasta: I sent a DM that she never responded to,
39:03
Kristen: but then you like, just so happens.
39:09
Kristen: But if you do see someone, right, do you suggest reaching out or even if they're not maybe Ali web status.
39:16
Kristen: You're like, oh, she looks like she's doing something pretty cool.
39:18
Kristen: I would love to learn from her.
39:19
Kristen: What do you suggest?
39:20
Chasta: Reach out.
39:21
Chasta: See if you can find an email, see if you can, you know, get a DM.
39:25
Chasta: A lot of times they don't see it.
39:26
Chasta: That's, that's the thing is like, we can't let rejection be kind of like the buck stops here.
39:32
Chasta: And I just, I think there's just a power in.
39:36
Chasta: If there's someone you admire or you appreciate their work taking the time to say, like, I see you, I see what you're doing.
39:42
Chasta: And it's really making a mark in your community or in society.
39:48
Chasta: One, it's gonna make yourself feel good because you are you're complimenting someone else.
39:52
Chasta: And I do believe that good comes back to you, even if.
39:56
Chasta: You know, I mean, I've sent DMs to lady Gaga and she hasn't responded to those, but I love
40:01
Kristen: Up next...
40:02
Kristen: We'll be next to lady Gaga at a conference.
40:04
Chasta: But I just, I, the act of it, right?
40:06
Chasta: Like it it's a process cuz you're, then you're constantly looking for inspiration.
40:10
Chasta: So then, you know, if I'm meeting with my publicity team for this book, they can say who in society is carving out intentions that you admire?
40:20
Chasta: And that gives them a broader understanding of like my vision and where I'm going or where I wanna go.
40:26
Chasta: And they seem like silly exercises, but I think it's just like small things that we can do that kind of help move us forward on our path.
40:34
Chasta: And the thing with fairy tales is you can go as big as you want.
40:38
Kristen: Yeah.
40:38
Kristen: And that's like the magic that I'm, I have to believe others have this same.
40:43
Kristen: Like, there's gotta be more, right.
40:44
Kristen: This is cool.
40:45
Kristen: This life is good.
40:46
Kristen: But I want magical.
40:48
Kristen: I want more.
40:49
Kristen: And the more we can see how others have created that, then the more we can more easily dream, right?
40:54
Kristen: Dream bigger.
40:55
Kristen: I don't know.
40:55
Kristen: That's a lot of mores in my description there, but
40:58
Chasta: no, I love it.
40:59
Chasta: And, and that's the thing, like, you know, we get so frustrated, like, okay, well, we didn't get the DM back, but that's not rejection.
41:06
Chasta: Like you've still put it out there.
41:07
Chasta: It's still holding that space.
41:10
Chasta: And the thing is like, just keep putting it out there and someone somewhere is going to read one at some point that really needs to hear it.
41:19
Kristen: Yeah.
41:19
Kristen: I love how you, multiple times have shared like for every, yes, there were a lot more nos or for everyone put out there, they didn't answer me, but you just keep going.
41:30
Kristen: I love it.
41:30
Kristen: I love everything that you're doing.
41:32
Kristen: Please share with our listeners where they can find you, support you and remind them how to get the book.
41:37
Chasta: Sure.
41:37
Chasta: So I have a website, chastahamilton.com, and Instagram is where I'm most active at Chasta Hamilton, also on Facebook and LinkedIn and fairly inactive on Twitter.
41:50
Chasta: You know, it's just too much like there's a lot There's only so much bandwidth.
41:54
Chasta: But I love hearing from people and I am still at a place where I respond to every message because I get very excited by them.
42:02
Chasta: Cuz I remember all of the DMS that I've sent that that's right.
42:08
Chasta: Yeah.
42:09
Chasta: No, I love hearing from people.
42:10
Chasta: So to all of those that I hope that I'll get to connect with soon.
42:14
Chasta: Thank you.
42:14
Chasta: Because.
42:16
Chasta: I just, I think the more voices we can have in the arena, the more conversations we can have, the more we move the needle forward.
42:22
Chasta: And that's what excites me.
42:24
Kristen: I love it.
42:25
Kristen: Thank you so much for everything you're doing for putting out into the world, and I wish you so much more continued success.
42:31
Kristen: So thank you for being with us.
42:32
Chasta: Thank you, Kristen.
42:33
Chasta: Let's keep building those fairytales.
42:36
Kristen: That conversation was so good.
42:38
Kristen: I'm in awe of not only how much Chasta has overcome, but how many lives she has already positively impacted.
42:45
Kristen: And I've got a feeling.
42:45
Kristen: This is just the beginning.
42:47
Kristen: Some of my key takeaways from this discussion are as follows: 1)focus on what you know, I love how Chasta is allowing herself to release the long-term planning and live in the short term, having confidence in what she knows we'll be there- dancing.
43:01
Kristen: 2)whatever the struggle, we all have the choice to sink or swim.
43:05
Kristen: 3)rejection or perceived rejection is not the end; Keep going and putting your positivity out into the world.
43:14
Kristen: If you're inspired by Chasta, reach out, send her a note, let her know that you appreciate what she's putting out in the world.
43:20
Kristen: And don't forget to pick up a copy of her new book, Handle the Horrible.
43:24
Kristen: Last, but not least this week is International Podcast Day.
43:27
Kristen: Share your favorite episode of the show or any podcast with a friend.
43:30
Kristen: You can also leave a rating or review and subscribe to this show, which is super important because it helps others join us and start building their own fairytales.
43:38
Kristen: Thank you again for being here.
43:40
Kristen: I'm not giving up on my dreams and I hope you won't either.
43:43
Kristen: I'm Kristen Lettini and this is Build Your Own Fairytale.