Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / Why Your Homeschool Checklist Isn't Working (And How to Fix It with Rachael Younger)

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Why Your Homeschool Checklist Isn't Working (And How to Fix It with Rachael Younger) · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

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Speaker: Welcome to the Christian homemaking podcast, Simply Convivial.
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I'm Misty Winkler, homemaker, homeschool mom of five, grandma, and author of
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the book Home Is for Hospitality: Why Your Home and Homemaking Matter.
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Convivial means living together with joy, and that's the kind of home atmosphere
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that we want to create in our homes, especially if we're homeschooling.
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And so as we are approaching that back to school season, uh, I wanted
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to review one of the core pieces of advice I was given as a young
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homeschooling mom, and now it needs to be passed along to the next generation.
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Inspect what you expect.
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And so I'm joined today by Rachel Younger, who has been applying this
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principle in many different ways over the course of many years of homeschooling.
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Rachel has been married to her best friend for 20 years, and she's in
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her 10th year of homeschooling.
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She enjoys gardening, reading a good book, and having a cup of
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coffee or tea with conversation.
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So thank you for joining me again today, Rachel.
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Speaker 2: Yes, glad to be here.
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Speaker: So in Convivial Circle, we'reâ¦
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You're a mentor member in Convivial- Mm-hmm
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Circle, and we've done Art of Homeschooling together many times.
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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker: It was a number of years ago that you started implementing a
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daily review, and I know it's changed.
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Mm-hmm.
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You know, we're always iterating.
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Always.
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But can you, um, remember or tell us about, um, what prompted you to start
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figuring that out, or what were youâ¦
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Before there was a daily review, what was happening?
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Speaker 2: Oh, goodness.
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Yes, I've been, I've been thinking about this.
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Um, and yeah, it's true that what that looks like has varied over
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the years, um, just different ages, different personalities.
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Um, I think when I began to give my older son, who's gonna be a sophomore in high
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school this year, his independent work, when I was not sitting there and doing it
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with them, uh, feeling the need to have, um, a procedure for keeping track of what
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he was doing and, and how he was doing.
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Um, and I think back then it was, it was very simple.
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Um, I had a basket, and if he did a worksheet or if he completed a math lesson
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in his notebook, uh, it was put in that basket, and I think I even made a label of
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finished work and taped it to the basket.
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I- labeling things isâ¦
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I love labeling things.
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I think he likes it, too, so that helped.
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Um, which is interesting because now at this end of it, he's very independent.
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Um, if I read anything to him, it's because I said, "I want to read this
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book, so I'm going to read it to you."
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And that has really changed.
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Now he â¦ Now, we do have habits in place because this means he now creates
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a pile on his desk Of all the things he's finished, uh, the books that he
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read, whatever, and he narrated to me.
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Um, and so I know those are the things.
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I know what he actually worked on.
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Now, I also, I also pulled out, umâ¦
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The, the checklist has been an important part of this daily review
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because this is what I go back to.
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Um, I have found if I put it off and don't do it on a daily basis, half the time I
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can't remember what was actually done-
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Speaker: Yes
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Speaker 2: days before.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: And yes, that has come back to bite me a couple of times.
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Um, so with my little guy, who's not so little anymore, who's starting
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fourth grade this year, he gets, uhâ¦
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What we have been doing is, it's just, it's a checklist.
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I fill it out we- each week.
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Um, and it's just kind of, you know, what we're doing on each day,
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and we get Fridays off usually.
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We, we still, we move things, but I can mark it on here.
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We moved it.
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And this has been good because as I work with him, and I'm, I'm pretty much
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read- Uh, he reads a few things on his own, but I'm reading quite a bit to him.
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It lets him see, how do you check it off?
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How do you do a checklist?
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Speaker: Yes.
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It's a skill.
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Speaker 2: That does not really come naturally to a great number of people.
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Speaker: Right.
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Speaker 2: My, my older kiddo, uh, this is his last year's thing, and it- I'm
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sure it's gonna look really overwhelming- Mm-hmm â¦ if someone just looks at this
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and they're like, "Ah, you did so much."
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He gets a whole week's worth is one column.
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And he told me a couple years ago, "Mom, just give me the whole week
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at once and let me split it up."
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And there are some parameters that were laid down.
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He has to do math one lesson each day for four days.
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That's kind of the minimum thing.
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Um, history, you can't read more than one chapter on a day.
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Hmm.
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Um, 'cause otherwise he would sit and read all the chapters, get all
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the history done on Monday, and all the literature done on Tuesday, and
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all the science done on Wednesday.
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And it's like, no, we're gonna, we're gonna space things out.
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Um, and so it- it- it's probably hard to see, but he comes through and he marks
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it out in pencil, and so I can sit down at the end of the day and see what he's
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done, what he's marked out in pencil.
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I come back over it, you know, this is a, a pink pen.
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I've used highlighter, um, at times, uh, to mark over what I have then checked.
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Speaker: Nice.
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Speaker 2: Um, so it's, it's kind of, it's an accountability.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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For both of you.
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Speaker 2: For both of us.
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Have I actually looked at it?
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I had to actually, you know, take the effort to mark it out.
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And I will confess, there have been seasons when I sat down at the end
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of the week and I'm like, "I have not looked at anything all week."
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Highlighter.
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That's, that's on me.
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Um, when Iâ¦
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Yes, and moms fail, too, right?
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Uh, and, and there have been times when I am checking each day and kind
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of going over what is he said he's done that I can be like, "Wait a second.
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You did not narrate this to me, nor did you do a written narration.
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Let's, let's go back to this.
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Did you actually read it?
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Yes, you did.
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Okay, you say you did.
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That's fine.
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Go ahead and narrate."
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You know?
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I have found, you know, probably every child, he has marked things
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off that he didn't actually do.
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Speaker: Yep.
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Speaker 2: And Iâ¦
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This is a part of that growing up process of trying to teach him, don't
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mark it off until after you've done it.
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Um, he does not, he does not relish that.
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That, I don't know, goes against his nature.
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And I'm like, "Well, sorry, bud.
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You, you, you need to adjust your nature to match this expectation."
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Um, I don't fight it real hard, but there are theâ¦
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It, it brings up more often the you marked it off and didn't do it.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: But if I'm not doing it on a daily basis, and whatever it
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is it looks like, if I need to go through the basket, if I need to
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clear the, the stack on the desk-
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Just having that regul- daily just seems to be a good, uh, interval for doing that.
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A, a week is too long, but more than one time a day, this is aboutâ¦
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'Cause we, you know, we, um, I'm a Charlotte Mason educator,
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and she talks about letting children stand on their own feet.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: Um, giving them the freedom to do their work.
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And there's, there's, there's a very big part of bringingâ¦
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and now it's about teaching my younger son how to do that on his own.
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He's, he's going into fourth grade.
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Um, he's watched big brother.
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He wants to get the multiple weeks and decide how it gets parsed out, and that
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will be, that will be really rocky at first, and it will be very clunky, and
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we will have days in which it's, we did this on Monday, and Tuesday, and
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Wednesday, and now Thursday is a really big day because he put things off.
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Speaker: Which is a great experience to have- â¦ at that stage.
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Speaker 2: Yes, because in fourth grade, a really heavy school day
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is still done by noon or noon-30.
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And, but, but he'll learn.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: And so I'm, I'm trying hard to figure out, and I'm, I'm still
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negotiating this out with having an older teen, um, who really wants to be
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independent, who really wants to do his own thing, and wants to be out there.
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And that, that's great, but I'm not gonna release you until I, until you
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can communicate well with me what's actually happening, what is your plan.
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You cannot keep this plan just in your head.
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You need to bring me in on it- This, uh, giving him the, the six
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weeks, and actually I think this next year he's getting a term.
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Like, all three terms are kind of laid out, and so he's
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gonna get 12 weeks at a time.
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For him to learn, don't get overwhelmed looking at 12 weeks of worth, of,
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of worth, worth of work, um, and just to take it a week or a day at a
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time, but keeping me in on the loop.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: Um, yeah.
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So I mean, that's a lot of what we've done, and, and even the philosophy
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behind why I'm doing what I do, it works.
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And just giving them the chance to experience the independence, but
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at the appro- appropriate stage.
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Speaker: Right.
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Right, 'cause doing it, like waiting for the end of the week
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before having any accountability is a lot of work to look over.
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And the bigger that job is- Yeah â¦ the more we are, you know,
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likely to put it off and not do it.
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And then it's multiple, like then itâ¦
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All the lessons that we want our children to learn in small, little reasonable bits.
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Learning ourselves.
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But when you- So true â¦ are looking at it daily, you're keeping
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up with what, what they're doing.
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You, like, you have that- Mm-hmm â¦ awareness, that tuned
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radar that helps you have better conversations, you know, casually.
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Mm-hmm.
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Or, you know, just to be able to say like, "Wait a second.
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Did you do that?"
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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker: But without nagging still, which is if it's multiple times a day-
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Right â¦ that starts borderline nagging.
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Speaker 2: That's, that's a problem.
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Yeah.
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And it, it's so funny because you just reminded me, I know you have
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this experience as a student.
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My sister did this.
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My son did it when I got really bad at following up on his work.
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There was, it was probably two months worth where he's saying,
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"Yes, I'm doing math," but was doing, you know, like one problem.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm, just enough to- Just to convince myself that I'm not lying.
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But you are.
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Speaker 2: When I discovered it, I was like, "Okay, part of this is my fault,
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I know, because I was not following up and doing these daily reviews."
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On the other hand, poo poo on you.
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You know better.
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So, um, yeah.
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I, this is, that whole inspect what you expect has played out in
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school, and having to check on a regular basis, and sometimes even
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immediately- Mm-hmm â¦ uh, chores.
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I, I need to check within a reasonable amount of time when someone has swept
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the floor, because the floor gets unswept very quickly around here with-
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Speaker: You can't necessarily tell
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Speaker 2: when
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Speaker: it
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Speaker 2: was
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Speaker: done
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active
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Speaker 2: children.
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Yeah.
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And even just kind of all the things.
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Like, no, no, I expect you to do it this way.
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I expect you to do this kind of a job.
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I've given you the freedom to do it in your way, b- but
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now I'm gonna check on it.
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I'm gonna inspect things.
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Mm-hmm.
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Um, even as I watch these other young ladies that I'm investing in who are
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all high school, and the thingâ¦
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You know, they've got jobs.
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And some have store managers that do inspect and some don't, and the
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experiences are all very different.
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You know, I want them to be used to it.
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Right.
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I want them to be accustomed to it.
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Speaker: Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And you know, when we are inspecting, it doesn't have to be, like,
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with a, like, in order to find fault or to get them in trouble.
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When we're looking at what they're doing and paying attention-
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Right â¦ and noticing, we are caring.
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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker: And we can't expect our kids to care if we aren't, if we don't care.
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Speaker 2: If we don't care.
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Speaker: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: And sometimes, sometimes that inspection does involve correction.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm, for sure.
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Speaker 2: If the floor is not well swept, if the math isn't correct, you fix it.
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But that experience of fixing itâ¦
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'Cause I had, I had someone say to me, a- actually it was, yeah, of it
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is in failure that you really learn.
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Speaker: Mm.
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Speaker 2: It's in losing a game that you learn the most about the game.
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Um, and yeah, when you do the math wrong and now you have to go back and fix
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it, if you spelled a word wrong and now you need to correct that spelling, when
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you've written it illegibly and I can't read it and you have to rewrite it,
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you're gonna learn something out of that.
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You're gonna learn how to write legibly or spell that word.
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Um, the, the- You're,
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Speaker: you're engaged in a different way when you're making a correction.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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A- and to understand, for my, my sons to understand when they are corrected, this
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is not a statement about who they are.
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This is not a statement about their value or anything like that.
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And for them to learn to separate-
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Speaker: Mm-hmm
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â¦ Speaker 2: the correction from, uh, the understanding that they are loved-
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Mm-hmm â¦ and they are accepted and they are valued and desired, uh, that,
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being able to separate those things.
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Speaker: Right.
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Speaker 2: I know that was really hard for me as a teenager, being
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able to, to separate those- And not
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Speaker: take things personally.
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Speaker 2: Not to take things overly personal.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker 2: I wanna help them grow in it.
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Speaker: Mm-hmm.
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Yeah, and being able to take criticism well and to see it
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for the opportunity that it is.
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Like, th- this is- Mm-hmm â¦ where the real learning is taking place.
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Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
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Speaker: Yeah.
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Thank you so much, Rachel
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Speaker 2: Yes.
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Yeah.
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Glad I can share this.
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I- it's, it's been a rocky journey at times, this homeschooling.
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Um, but we have figured it out, and I, you know, as you seek how other people
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have done it and seek that advice, I wanna be able to offer what I've learned.
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So thank you for giving me a chance to do that.