Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - The Menace Myth and Mayhem of Autonomy

Transcript

Andy Stanley - The Menace Myth and Mayhem of Autonomy · Andy Stanley Sermons

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody. I have some great news for all the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: women in the audience. Today's message is for all the
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: men in the audience, married, single, young, not so young.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Fathers want to be fathers, may be scared, you might
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: be a father anyway. As men, I think we all
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: have something in common. There is an underlying, often I
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: think overlook component in our.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: Pursuit of success.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And to be clear, I don't think this is unique
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: to men, but the successful women I know seem to
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: have a way better handle on this than most of
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: us do. And this unspoken, sometimes unrecognized component to our
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: quest for success is this word autonomy.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Autonomy.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: There's something I think in most of us that wants
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: to be self governing, right. I mean, after all, to
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: some extent, it's the American dream, or at least the
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: way the American dream has been presented to most of us.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I think for most of us men, it's pretty much
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: our definition of success, right, I mean, to do what
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I want to do when I want to do it
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: and have enough money.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: To pay for it.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's an alluring goal, to be sure, and
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I think in addition to our ego, I think some
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: other things fuel this first we've seen it, and since
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: we've seen it, we can't unsee it.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, think about it.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Most of our role models appear to be completely autonomous.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Our corporate heroes, athletic heroes, the arts. I mean, they
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: all appear to operate unfettered by financial or sometimes even
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: relational restraint. But for you, there may be even more
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: to it. Maybe for you, there's something else that fuels
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: your quest for autonomy. Maybe it was the way you
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: were raised, if you grew up in a home where
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: money was always tight, if you spent a season or
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: two living with relatives, or maybe worse. Autonomy may not
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: feel like a nice to have for you. For you,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: it's a must have. The thought of returning to that
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: or putting your family through that, well, for you, it's terrifying,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: it's motivating. Again, it's not a nice to have for you,
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: it's a must have. I don't ever want to have
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: to depend on someone or something else. And then, woven
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: into all of this is an assumption that I think
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: most of us share. And here's the assumption. The assumption
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: is I can handle it, right, I mean, you're absolutely
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: confident that you can handle it if it ever happens
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: for you, you're ready. In fact, this is why we're
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: so baffled by stories of men who've made it and
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: then turn around and make decisions that undermine their success,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: that undermine their autonomy, men who become their own worst
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: enemy after they've accomplished so much, after they've acquired so much.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: But here's what we think, not me right, when I
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: get my chance, I'll get it right. Once I can
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: call my own shots. I'll call all the right shots.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: So off we go.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Time goes by, and for most of us, it doesn't
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: happen fast enough. For most of us, it doesn't happen
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: big enough. And when it doesn't happen big enough or
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: fast enough, when it looks like it's not going to
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: happen at all, it's not unusual for us to develop
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: what I refer to as a low grade anger, a
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: low grade anger, anger that simmers just beneath the surface.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: We're constantly frustrated. We're constantly frustrated with just about everything
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: and just about everybody.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: And this usually.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Happens somewhere around forty to forty five years old, and
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: eventually it dawns on us. And this is why it happens. Eventually,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: it dawns on us. I'm not there, I'm not even
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: close to there. I'm not sure I'll ever get there.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: And in most cases, let's be honest, we've never even
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: clearly defined where there even is. And on top of
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: all that, since most of us aren't all that emotionally
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: connected internally, we don't even recognize the source of this
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: simmering frustration. Worse, we set our sights on the wrong source.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Our disappointment with ourselves eventually spills out on the people
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: who are closest to us. So let me just put
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: this out there. Men, if you aren't happy with your wife,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: your kids, your car, or your career path, it may
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: be because you.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Aren't happy with you.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: And the only way to move past this constant sense
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: of frustration is to recognize that. And here's why I
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: feel I can say that with confidence because you married her,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: you raised him, you bought it, and you chose it.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Guys, when we get confused about the.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Source of our disappointment, our discontentment, our frustration, our anger.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: We get lost. And what do most of us do
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: when we get lost?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: We drive faster, and we generally drive faster in the
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: wrong direction. This is why I think Don Henley and
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: his co writers got this exactly right all those years
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: ago when they penned these lyrics. He had a home
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: love of a girl. But men get lost sometime as
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: years unfurl, Isn't that true? One day he crossed some line,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: some line he didn't know he had crossed, and he
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: was too much in this world. But I guess it
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter anymore. In a New York minute, just like that,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: everything can change in a New York minute, things can
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: get pretty strange. You've seen it. Perhaps you stood at
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: the edge of it. Perhaps you've stood at the edge
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: of it and peered into it. Perhaps you're there right
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: now and you feel like I've read your mind. Perhaps
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: you've grabbed a friend by the collar before he gave
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: in to it. Let's be honest. There's a really fine
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: line between free as you can possibly.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Be in prison.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: There's a really fine line between as free as you
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: can possibly be. An addiction a hole you can't climb
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: out of on your own. The truth is the quest
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: for autonomy. The quest for autonomy is dangerous. It's dangerous
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: because it is an appetite that you can't fully or
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: finally satisfy. It's a thirst that can't be quenched. And
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: when you feel eat an appetite, what happens. It doesn't shrink,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: it grows. The more you get, the more you want.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And nobody believes this, but it's true. Autonomy is power, right,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: That's why we want it.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: It's power, and the more you have, the more you want.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: And power.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Power is generally intoxicating, and intoxicated people don't make good decisions,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: they don't listen. In fact, before long, they're surrounded by
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: people who don't have anything helpful to say. Nobody with
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: the courage to say no, Nobody with the courage to say,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I think you need to rethink that. Nobody with the
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: courage to say, I think you need to take a
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: different approach, And the quest for autonomy relationships become You've
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: seen this, You've been on the other side of this,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: and our quest for autonomy relationships ultimately become a means
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: to an end. Everybody is a potential customer, Everybody is
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: a potential client, Everybody is a potential contact, right, which
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: leads to further isolation and success success just makes it worse.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Before long, everybody arounds you is either getting a paycheck
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: or they're related to you and their honesty.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Their honesty would be costly.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: So when we accidentally or purposefully embrace this misguided approach
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to success and masculinity, at the end of the day,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: we're either frustrated because we aren't there, or were disappointed
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: and isolated.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: When we get there.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Now, quick story, when Israel second King. We're all familiar
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: with israel second King.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: David, King David.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: When King David was around fifty years old, he made
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: a decision that would become his most famous decision as
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: a king. Actually, I should say it this way, he
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: made a decision that would become his most infamous decision
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: as king. Of course, he didn't know it at the time,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: because when we make those decisions, we never know it
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: at the time. Right by the time this story comes around,
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: David had been king for about twenty years. He had
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: multiple wives, as was the custom for kings. He had concubines,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: as was the custom for kings. He had enormous wealth
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: and enormous power. Early on in his life, as you know,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: he had developed a reputation as a warrior. I mean,
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: he is a man's man. He'd secured his legacy, he'd
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: already secured his legacy. He was the king who secured
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: the borders and established peace in Israel. But now he's
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: in his fifties, he's not cute anymore, and he's not satisfied.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: And you know this story.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: One evening, you know, he's roaming around on the palace
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: roof overlooking the city. He sees his neighbor's wife bathing
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: in what should have been the privacy of her home.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: And guys, let's be honest, as probably wasn't the first
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: time he'd wandered over to that particular part of the
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: roof to stare in that particular direction. On this night, however,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: he sends a servant to find out who she is,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: and this particular servant takes a really big risk. He
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: actually attempts to wave David off from what would turn
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: out to be the worst decision of his life. This
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: would be the moment David would give anything to go
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: back and relive. This was the decision he would give
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: anything to go back and unmake. When the servant returns,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: he chooses his words so carefully. Here's how he reported
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: back to King David. Here's what he said.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: He said.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Aliam, you know, Aliam,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: she's not just a body. She's somebody's daughter. And not
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: only that, she is the wife. She is the wife
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: of Uriah, the hit tight. You know, honorable brave Uriah,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: you fought beside him. He's risk his life for you.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: In fact, he's camped out in the mud right now,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: risking his life for you right now.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: It's that Uriah.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And that should have been enough to send David back inside.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: But and you've seen this. Powerful people, powerful people have
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: a very difficult time listening to payroll people, don't they.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Then David sent messengers to get her. I mean, what
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: could they say? What could she say?
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: He's the king? And you know the story.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: David and Bathsheba spend the night together, probably more than
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: one night. She becomes pregnant. She sends a message to
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: David letting him know, and David does what he's now
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: in the habit of doing. He powers up, He powers up,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: and he comes up with the plan because at the
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: end of the day he is going to control the outcome,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: control the outcome. He allows Bathsheba to know what his
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: plans all about. He informs her of his plan, and
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: apparently she decides to play along. Then he sends a
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: message to joe Ab, his military commander, who is with Uriah,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Bathsheba's husband, on a military campaign. David tells joe Ab
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: send Uriah back to town with a progress report on
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: how things are going with the siege. When Uriah shows up,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Uriah gives David the update, and then David smiles and
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: encourages Uriah to go on home to his wife and
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Bathsheba was expecting him. And I'm sure, I don't know,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: but I'm sure. As Uriah leaves the throne room, David
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: congratulates himself on controlling the outcome. But you know this story.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: The next morning, he gets worried that Uriah didn't go home. Instead,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: he did the honorable thing. He slept at the interests
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: entrance of the palace with the guards assigned to guarding David.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And David can't believe it. So he sends a messenger
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: to get your Riah before he leaves the city. And
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: when you know, when he gets there, David says, haven't
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: you just come from a military campaign? Why didn't you
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: go home?
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Oryah knows what David's getting at, and listen to his answer.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: He said, here's why, because the arc, and Israel and
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joe Ab
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: and my lord's men are camped in the open country. Hey,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: my friends are living in mud and sweat. They're eating
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: whatever they can carry or kill. And then he says this,
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: how could I do that? How could I go to
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: my house and eat and drink and loved my wife
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: as surely as you live. I will not do such
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: a thing. No, gentleman, there is a man to take
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: our cues from free to go. But out of respect
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: for God and his brothers, he just said, No, that's
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: who your wife, That's who my wife hopes she married.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: That's who you want your daughter to marry. Single guys,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: that's who you should strive to become. Back to the story. Well,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: David is so, you know, put off by all this.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: He insists that Uriah spend another night in town. He
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: invites him to dinner, he gets him drunk, He points
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: him toward home, and he sends him on his way, thinking, surely, surely,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: surely he will do what I would do if I
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: were him. But Uriah isn't David. David has lost his way,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: and he's nothing like Uriah. But in the evening, the
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: text tells us Uriah went out to sleep on his
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: mat among his master's servants. He did not go home. Guys,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: when your kids, when your friends, when your wife tells
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: your story, what story do you want told? I've told
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: you this before, but it bears repeating. We write the
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: story of our lives one decision at a time, and
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: certainly some decisions are more important than others.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: But every decision becomes a permanent.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Part of the story of our lives. And like you,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Uriah and Jesus talked about this as well. Like you, Riah,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: we will be unable to save our lives at some point,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: but we can preserve our legacy and we can ensure
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: that our story is a story worth telling. Well, now
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: David realizes that he's been outmaneuvered. And what's interesting, he's
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: been out maneuvered by a man who didn't even know
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: he was maneuvering. He was simply doing the honorable thing.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: So then David does the dishonorable thing, the unthinkable thing.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: He resorts to behavior that in his pre king years
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: he would have condemned. He resorts the behavior that everybody condemns.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: And the interesting thing about it is. He's absolutely confident
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: that this will remain a secret in the morning. In
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: the morning, David wrote a letter to joe Ab and
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: he sent it with Uriah, and here's what he wrote.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: He said, put Uriah in the front where the fighting
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: is the fiercest, and then withdraw from him so that
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: he will be struck.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Down and die. What can joe Ab do, David is
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: the king.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Joe Ab obeys the King, Uriah is killed along with
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: several of his sword brothers. And when Uriah's wife, Bathsheba,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: And then after the time of morning, when it was complete,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: David had her brought into his house and she became
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: his wife and bore him a son. But the thing
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: that David had done displeased the lord and everybody knew
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: this was planned in secret, but it did not remain
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: a secret. Here's one of the things we can't understand
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: completely because we live in such different day and age.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: In households run by servants and slaves, there were no secrets.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: For household slaves. Information was currency. The only person in
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: the dark was David. And what David didn't know was
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: that he with this one decision had permanently undermined his
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: credibility and his legacy. Think about this, what else do
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: you know about King David, Not shepherd boy David, King David,
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: And unfortunately this story is pretty much it. This event
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: marked and marred his reputation, but worse worse than losing
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: his credibility as king, David permanently undermined his moral authority
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: with his children. This is so important, This is important.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: His affair with Bathsheba did not cost him his crown.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: It cost him his family, and he paid in that
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: area for the rest of his life.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: The baby dies.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Later, his oldest son, Amnon, rapes his half sister. David
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: can't bring himself to punish his son. He's so lost.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: So Absolom, David's favorite son, I think his third son,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: kills Amnon, his half brother, to avenge his sister's shame.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: David does nothing.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Once again, he refuses to reconcile or discipline Absolom. Absolom
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: eventually raises an army and marches on the capital city.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: David is forced to abandon the city. He goes to
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: war with his son and then against David's instructions, Joe Abb,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: his commander slaughters Absolom. Now David's heart is broken again.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: His dreams for his son and for the kingdom can't
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: come true. Everything else is in shambles. He maintains the crown,
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: but the things that were most important to David, they're
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: gone and they can't be retrieved. In a New York minute,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: everything changed in a New York minute. Things can get
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: come on, guys, they can get pretty strange. But the
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: New York minute and David's story wasn't the whole story.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: It's never the whole story, is it. There's always a backstory,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: there's always more to the story. And if you've read
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: this story, you may remember how this entire debacle begins.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I skipped that part.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: It begins like this in the spring, and the spring,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: at the time when kings go off to war, when
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: the weather is good and the crops are planted. David
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: instead sent Joe Ab out with the king's men and
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: the whole Israelite army. His sword brothers, the men who
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: knew him best, the men who rose to power with him,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: the men who had hidden with him in caves during
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: the days of King Saul, the men who had access
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: to him, the men who knew him before.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: He was king.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: But David remained in Jerusalem, lone and isolated. I'll let
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: the little people fight. I'm king, I'm entitled. David got
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: in trouble. This is so important. David got in trouble
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: when he isolated himself from the community of men to
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: whom he was most accessible, the King's men. And in
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: his attempt to control outcomes maintain his autonomy, he paid
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: in the area.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Listen. He paid in the area where no one, no one,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: no one.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: Can control outcomes. He paid in the area of his family. Gentlemen,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: autonomy is a myth. It's a trap. It is an
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: unworthy goal. You may or may not be familiar with
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: the name Albert Spear. Albert Spear. Albert Spear was Adolph
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Hitler's architect. Most people don't know this, but Adolf Hitler
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: had a dream to create a Berlin that rivaled the
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: beauty and the elegance of Paris. The interesting thing was
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: when he had this dream, he'd never even been to Paris.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Hitler actually kept a scale model of his future Berlin
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: in his study. Hitler didn't trust many people, but he
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: trusted Albert Spear and Eventually he appointed him as the
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Minister of Armaments and War Production. He was at Hitler's
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: side throughout his rise to power. After the war, Albert
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Spear stood trial in Nuremberg for war crimes. He spent
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: about twenty years in prison. He was released in the
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: late sixties, and he died around nineteen eighty one. But
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: his memoirs were published under the title Inside the Third Right. Now,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: every book I had ever read related to the Second
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: World War quoted Albert Spear, so they quoted him as
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: a source. So several years ago I sat down and
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I actually read his book. And when I got to
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: page eighty three in the version of the book I read,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: he writes something that stopped me in my tracks. In fact,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Sandra and I quote one of these lines so often
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: it has become part of our vocation.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: According to Spear, Hitler knew nothing about his enemies and
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: refused to listen to anybody. He trusted his inspirations, no
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: matter how contradictory his inspirations were. In fact, Spear says
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: that Hitler's inspirations were governed by extreme contempt for just
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: about everybody. But here's the section that serves as a
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: constant reminder to me to resist the lure of autonomy
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: and to resist the lure of entitlement.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Here's what he writes.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: He says, there is a special trap for every holder
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: of power, whether the director of a company, the head
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: of a state, or the ruler of a dictatorship. His favor,
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: the leader's favor is so desirable to his subordinates that
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: they will sue for it by every means possible. As
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: a result, servility becomes endemic among his entourage. His entourage,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: who compete amongst themselves in their show of devotion. And
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: then listen to this next part. Here's what happens as
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: a result. This, in turn, exercises a sway upon the ruler,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: who becomes corrupted in his turn. And then here is
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: his observation, Having watched this happen right before his very eyes,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: he says, the key to the quality of the man
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: in power is how he reacts, how he reacts to
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: this situation. I have observed the number of industrialists and
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: military men who knew how to fend off this.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Danger.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: And then here's the statement that just stopped me in
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: my tracks. Hitler himself. Hitler himself put up no visible
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: resistance to the evolution.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Of a court.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Gentlemen, regardless of how old you are, regardless of what
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: season of life you're in, regardless of how much life
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: you had ahead of you, Resist the evolution of a court.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Resist the evolution of a court people who will tell
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: you what you want to hear rather than what you
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: need to hear. Resist the isolation and autonomy that comes
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: with success, because it always follows on the heels of success,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: the isolation that almost always follows on the heels.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Of great achievement.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Give people who don't work for you and who don't
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: need anything from you, access to you. And here's why
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: you were not created for autonomy. You were not created
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: for autonomy. It is a myth.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: It's a trap, it's.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: An unworthy goal. It will leave you isolated and vulnerable.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: You may not lose your crown. You may not lose
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: your crowning achievement. You may not lose the tangible rewards
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: of success. But you may lose your soul. You may
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: lose your legacy, you may lose your family. You were
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: not created for autonomy. You were created for community. And
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: if you're a Jesus follower, if you're a Jesus follower.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: You're part of a body. And when a body part
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: goes rogue, what do we do. We diagnose that as
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: a disease, and we either cure it or we remove it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: Autonomy is an appetite that cannot be fully and finally satisfied.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: It is a thirst that cannot be quenched.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: So if God sees fit to make you a king,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: if God sees fit to make you a king in
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: the realm of industry, marketplace, academia, arts, athletics, so be it.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: But when that day comes.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Keep those who knew you before and know you best close.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: They are not impressed, but they are oh so important.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: And in the springtime when the kings go to war,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: suit up and go with them. You were not made
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: for autonomy. You were created for community. And if you
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: embrace that, you will survive, and you will thrive, and
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: you will have a story worth telling, a story your friends,
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: your children, your wife, and perhaps your grand children will
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: be proud to tell