Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / September 14, 2021 | Expresso - Darlene Morgan

Transcript

September 14, 2021 | Expresso - Darlene Morgan · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so uh within the last couple hours I've had all sorts of challenges.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that kind of tells me that I'm probably getting ready to do something right.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, because that's exactly what the enemy does to you.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: So in the last hour, I've lost my keys.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was practicing my talk, and my hand went numb, and I couldn't move it.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know what was going on with that, and my jeans didn't dry.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I ended up with some extra holy jeans.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Take that, Satan.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, let's just jump in here really quick.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go ahead and set my timer if I can try to keep an eye on it.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And um, yeah, here we go.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I was here probably about 14 years ago.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I talked about all that life has taken me through.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: As a child, I was sexually abused.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I came from divorced parents, and at 19, I was sexually assaulted.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I call it that because I still cannot say the R word, which sent me to the ER.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: After which, for many years, I entered into drugs, alcohol, and had a baby before marriage.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: I knew about God, but I did not have a relationship with him.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I thought just knowing God was enough.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize I actually had to give up my life for him.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: To live is Christ, to die is gain.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I had no idea about how to get in touch with God until I was totally beaten down to nothing.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: You'd think after being abused for many years as a child and a young adult, and being in a mentally, physically, emotionally, a substance abusive relationship would bring me to my knees and to salvation and redemption.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: It did not.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it did send me to a church, not TBC at the time, but that church did save me.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't work enough to save myself.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: I still give thanks to that church for setting the stage for me.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I did finally get away from that relationship, also getting my son away from it.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: However, it did damage the relationship between my son and I.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much to tell about that.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: But what's most important here is I thank God.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: I thank God because my son and I have this incredible relationship now.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say something really quick.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm deviating, I shouldn't do this.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: But he started talking to me about Christ last night.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is a big deal.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Keep that in your prayers.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let's skip forward to now.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Once I discovered there's so much more than knowing God, I realized there was so much more of me to give.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I slowly began to recover from all those first years of drugs, abuse, and such.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I remarried and we had three girls.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: We were married for 14 years, through which time our marriage struggled with alcohol and competing for who was the better spouse and parent.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: It was at this time I did change churches and began attending TBC with my husband, CW.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: From there, I found my church mentor, Patty, who stuck with me from day one until now.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Ask her anything about me, and she will tell you the changes she has seen in me.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about miracles.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say something about our marriage.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Had I known then what I know now, I would have worked harder at looking the other way and harder at keeping our marriage together.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I was weak and my ways came first.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: My thoughts came first, my attitude came first, I came first.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would have worked harder at getting the help we needed with the substance use and what it meant to truly have Christ in our marriage.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I would have tried for better therapy for both of us instead of trying to fix it all on my own.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I would have worked hard at what it meant to be truly in love with one another.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: As a result, our marriage ended after 14 years.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: I dived into another stage that the enemy had for my life: divorce, the battle.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't wish this on anyone.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: If I had one thing to say about this before going on, is divorce does damage a person and their children.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: It is the work of the enemy who doesn't want to see us love and live in grace.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Work on your marriage.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do not let it go.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do it for yourself, your spouse, your children, for God.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you ever have any questions or doubts, know that I am here for you.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I will use my experience as a way to help you.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: I will listen and I will pray with you.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Something else about this time frame.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of our marriage and the start of my divorce, my sister was dying from cancer.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: She was my best friend.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this was another difficult moment God was taking me through.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was working at Medlin Care, which was also a Godsend.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: One of the first, oh, I see why you have me here moments.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: This was one area of my life I needed you to know so that you can truly see how, though I wasn't sure about my connection with Christ, he was a driving force that gave me so much strength that I just took for granted and I took from him.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: My divorce lasted two and a half years.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It was another work of the enemy that came between my spouse and I to cause us to compete even more than before.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't drinking until I got into the hardest part of the divorcing stage.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I handled my end of the divorce pro se because I didn't have the money to hire an attorney, though I did try hiring two at the start.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: I felt I didn't un they didn't understand the battle that was facing me with the opposing attorney.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: He was not a simple attorney.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: He was abusive.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Abusive as in, he called me the B word often in court, dropped the F bomb often, and interrupted me in court.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: He used his ways to trick us into forcing us to communicate through email and text and an app on our phone, so that it drove up the charges and the charges propensionally went up for his services.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not gonna lie.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: When CW passed away and the attorney was left with a$40,000 bill, it gave me a little bit of pleasure.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I would still go back and try to change everything to keep it all from happening.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Nonetheless, during the whole incident, it made me want to control the situation.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: With that control came hurt, pain, anxiety, stress, regret, and anger.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: When all these emotions came into play and each day brought new challenges and hurt, your mind wants to remove them.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was handling it fine.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Enter the alcohol stage.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was on a six-pack of beer and one pen, one pint of vodka a day habit.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Except when I had my girls.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: But toward the end of the alcohol-induced stage, I began hiding beer and vodka in my closet and running upstairs frequently to grab a drink when I had my girls.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Then I began hiding it inside a small cooler as I went to their ball games.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Triple sorry.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I felt it was the only way I could handle seeing my ex and being divorced.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: It made me braver.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I entered into a relationship.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I felt was right for me.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: This person is now my business partner.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: More on that later.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: However, the relationship was also based on alcohol consumption, strictly by me.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to take, I wanted to be taken care of, and for the most part, when I was drunk and falling over, he was there to take care of me.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I craved this.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: After years of being in a marriage where neither of us relented into the arms of Christ, and we both had so much pride among us, we seemed to refuse to show the amount of care and love that was supposed to be there.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I found a way to get it back.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Through my relationship with Chris, I was both empowered and weak.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: He built me up when I needed to go to court and face a judge, yet he picked me up at the end of the day when my body and mind was completely spent and filled with alcohol.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was so tired of the limited time I had with my daughters that I quit my job at Midland.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: I loved that job.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And though it was part of God's plan, I gave it up and began to do yard work for people to make money and make my own schedule.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was a huge leap of faith, but I trusted God to take care of me.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: God likely wasn't too thrilled with all I was doing with my life, and he was probably getting a little tired of bailing me out.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: But as part of his plan, he was increasing my faith.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: If only I saw it then.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I just took it for granted again.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: In July 2017, the divorce was final, and I remember contacting a close pastor friend of mine and telling him, Well, Coach Murphy, I did it.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I got through it.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm ready now.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: He replied, ready for what?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I told him, Well, God surely wouldn't have had me go through all that without giving me a purpose.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure I meant to help people or do something.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Coach Murphy laughed at me and he goes, Oh, darling, it doesn't work that way.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: You still have a lot of growing to do.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Needless to say, that didn't make me very happy.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: But Coach was wise, and he too had been through much, and I knew he was right.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I kept drinking, which obviously was part of the issue with not being ready.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: I felt, hey, I made it through the divorce.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now I can have the fun part of drinking.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Alcohol helped me survive, now I'm gonna have fun with it without the stress.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: My life continued on this controlled chaos, and I was in denial.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I kept working, but I knew something wasn't right.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: In January 2018, Chris and I attended a New Year's Eve gala.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: It was fun, but at midnight something struck me, and I told him, I'm not drinking anymore.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I remember saying this as I bent over backwards in my in his arms about to pass out.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I quit.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: I honestly don't know what possessed me to do this.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: But perhaps it was the lights, the new year, and the fact I was just done.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was so tired of being forgetful and smelling like alcohol the next day.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention I was gaining weight and my bank account was losing weight from all the alcohol I purchased.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: I woke up the next day and I was prepared for withdrawals.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: After all, I was pumping an ungodly amount in me.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: But there was no withdrawals.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: I slowly came around and I absolutely disliked it.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I began to feel reality and I didn't like it.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I made my I made many enemies with my running mouth during my divorce, and I wanted that escape.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: But I knew preserving brain cells and regaining my health for my girls was so much more important.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was determined to be better, be the better parent.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I saw my ex continue to drink, and it was painful.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: It hurt badly to see.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: He was preparing to get remarried, and part of me continued this competition that was present in our marriage.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was determined to be the better parent and not drink and just handle life on my own.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't acknowledge God, though He was so present in my life.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was kicking this life into overtime, running my own business and taking care of the home and my girls.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Then it happened when I received a phone call from a friend as I was bidding a job across town.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't talk to her often, so I thought it was strange she was contacting me.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: She asked if CW had passed away.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: My stomach dropped, and I thought, no way.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I thought nothing can happen to us right now.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not like this.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I told her no.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Then I said, I don't know.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: He and I never spoke, and I looked at the last contact I had with him on my phone, and it had been two days.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember thinking, well, that is kind of strange.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: She told me she wasn't supposed to be saying anything because she thought she saw his name come through hospital notices.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I asked her if she was certain, and I thought, well, maybe it was his dad.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Something happened to him since they shared the same name.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I continue my bid, and as I walked out to my truck, my phone rang, and I saw it was CW's mom.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now I knew.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't speak to me very often, and if she was calling me, it must be important.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: She began with, Honey, I've got some bad news.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: I immediately felt sick.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: I drove home quickly, picked up my girls, whom I told I was taking to their Grammys because she wanted to see them.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: They thought this was strange being a weekday morning, but they went along with it.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: They were nine, twelve, and fourteen years old.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: We all went into her house and she told them.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: They sat frozen on her couch, unable to absorb the information that they no longer had a dad.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I sat there thinking the same.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: I went outside and I let the girls have the time with their dad's family.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: I remember sitting there thinking of the last contact I had with CW.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I saw him at my youngest daughter's softball tournament a week before.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I asked him if he wanted something to eat.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I remember doing this because he owed me money for something that the girls needed, and he didn't have any.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I figured he probably didn't have any money for food either.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I just thought he needed something, so I offered him something out of Clara's lunchbox.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: This was our last contact.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing what you think about when someone dies.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You do go back to the last time you spoke to them.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Please, please remember this in all your contacts that you have with loved ones, and even the people you don't get along with.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: That was three years ago, and it's some of the hardest days of our lives.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: The girls rebelled, and I got lost.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: My heart and mind was lost, and I traveled each day in a daze.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And one day, a few months into our grief, I looked up and I told God, Oh, I see.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: That was the reason for me quitting drinking.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna have to be fully present and able and sober.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: My girls are absolutely amazing.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: For years I was married, then I was married, I prayed to give my husband a son.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I think God knew I was gonna need these females in my life for a reason.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: We seem to blend and we have become this force of nature, force of grief, of strength, of endurance, of all God had in store for us.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: I broke up with Chris.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Once the alcohol wore off and CW passed away, I simply changed.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I could not be with someone, and suddenly I felt wrong for being with him.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Wrong to be in this relationship when I was needing to give my girls 100% attention.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Chris understood, though not easy, I knew I had failed again.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I prayed for forgiveness, and I continued to do so.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Chris and I remained friends.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, he is my business partner now.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: We still had a mission in mind, and that was to have a coffee shop and serve the community.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: He was wanting to open up his own food truck, and I knew doing yarn work would not sustain what I needed for my girls at the time or their future.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: I had to make a change.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: He and I discussed running the food truck or a cafe.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: We looked at trucks, but nothing appealed.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: We looked at a building, but the owners weren't interested in talking to us, and honestly, this was God saying no.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: We put away the idea for a few months while I focused on my girls' softball games and summer sports.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Then one day, I'm driving to my mom's house and a voice told me to contact Kevin Connard of Blue Jazz Coffee.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Kevin had been a mentor to me before, so why not contact him now?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: This was July 2019.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Chris and I met with him and he suggested we consider opening a coffee shop.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this seemed appealing, but my idea of having my own place was focused more on what I could do for the community.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: My heart was intent on helping Highland Park High School and bringing Highland Park and Shawnee Heights communities together and bringing their students together.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: It was where I graduated from, from Highland Park, and I wanted to give the students a place to study, to have mentoring and to be led to Christ.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: Kevin told Chris and I about the building that we are in now, and we were shocked.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: It was literally up the street from the other building.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: We looked up, but we never really saw it.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: And apparently the building had been hidden from other eyes.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: We made an appointment to see the place three days later.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: The owner was there with the realtor, and the owner was very happy with our idea.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well the place had been sent and vacant for four years.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: This was it.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: This was what we were waiting for.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: What God had in mind, not our ideas, but his.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: We went through several hoops and red tape to open our shop, but now it feels like forever ago, and it didn't take as long as it seems.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Our intent was to open October 2019, but there was no way.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: The city has a way of making you wait and making sure you were absolutely certain about your business.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And again, God has the same intentions.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: He had an opening date for us.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: We just didn't know about it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we could open in December.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: January?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: February?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Construction finally finished in March.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And we opened March 16th, 2020.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Three days before the pandemic hit.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: We had to close our doors and use drive-thru only.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so God had a plan.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: Part of his plan was for us to get our act together and prepare to bring hope to our community.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't quite know this until one day my daughter suggested writing inspirational messages on the cups.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, can't do that.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: People will freak out because we are handwriting stuff on a cup during a pandemic.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Wait.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: The coffee sleeve.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: So began the inspirational coffee sleeve.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: We knew we were on to something when a young man came through the drive-thru and close to tears he told us thank you.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: We said, What for?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: He told us his mom had just passed away a few days before.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And when he came through the day before, his coffee sleeve said, You will get through this.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we about cried too.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just one of many stories we have heard.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: As our one-year anniversary approached us, we decided to introduce a new drink.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, my daughter Olivia thought of it.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's called the 316 Refresher.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Named after the day we opened, March 16th.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's a blended lemonade.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Chris asked Olivia to look up 316 to make sure nothing negative was associated with it.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Duh.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: 316.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: John 316.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: John 316.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't open on March 16th.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: We opened 316.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: I swear to you, I could feel God's eyes rolling up as we spoke.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: His big hand planted on his holy forehead.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Once again, I had a oh icy moment.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, God has been at work for many years in my life and has led me to this moment.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right here.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: He did turn something difficult into something good all those years from when I was a little girl to now.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: He turned something meant for harm into something good as we opened our doors during a virus.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: We used that time to get better, to know how to truly run a coffee shop, how to order, stock, supply, schedule, above all and more.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: But mostly he used that time to show us how to reach our community, which was exactly what I wanted to do.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know coffee would be in my mission.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: After all, I am not a morning person.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Since opening, we have reached so many people.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: We have created a place for students in the community, a place where people can be ministered to, a place for Bible studies, book clubs.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: We have a doctor who uses it to hold his Zoom appointments.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: We have a group that gathers after church twice a week, a pastor who brings people in and he witnesses to them.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: A place where a mother and daughter can come together, drink coffee, and play board games.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: This past summer I experienced many hardships, too many to discuss, but all of which questioned my faith and what the heck was going on.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Chris told me, Oh, you must be doing something really right.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're really making the devil mad.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't quite get that.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: But the next day I stopped, I looked around the shop, and I listened.
• 23:33
  unknown: Shh.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: A pastor was meeting with someone who wanted to know more about Jesus.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: A woman was bringing in a young adult to talk to them about Christ.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Another lady was wanting to use our meeting space to hold a Bible group brothers who needed a place to gather and just talk about how God was working in their lives.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: I am not the kind of person who glorifies our works.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about that.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I have waited over 50 years to see this, to make a difference.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: All my life I just want it to make a difference.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: We think several times, or I think, I thought several times I was doing this.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: God was working on me to bring me to this point.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot take credit for anything, but I know I am a vessel of what God wants of me.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: If I am still, I can be who God created me to be.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: If I trust Him, if I listen intently, if I am just patient, patient and wait.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Life is not easy.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: It has not been easy for me.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And many days it's not easy to be me.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I still have daily challenges, but I know now what it means to not just know God, but to have a relationship with Him.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: I had to relent.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: I had to give myself to Him.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: I had to give up the earthly arms that held me here for the heavenly arms that hold me eternally.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: Throughout this time, I did continue to see Patty often, as she was my saving grace, and the Christ-like foundation I needed that kept me from going over the edge many times.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: She has been a solid person in my life who has kept my eyes on the Lord even when I didn't feel like it.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Many times she gave me Bible study work to do, prayers to say, and the guidance I needed.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oftentimes I said those prayers even though I didn't believe them.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: But she told me, just say it.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: God knows your heart, and soon you will too.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: And to be honest, she has also told me many things that hurt about me I needed to hear.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: But since I believed in her and her mission, I knew I needed to hear these things to develop the race relationship with Christ that I craved that I knew others had.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't have someone like Patty, I encourage you to find someone.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: We all need someone to go to.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: It does strengthen us.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: I am still such a work in progress.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: I often have people say, I don't know how you do it all.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Girls, sports, shop.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: My mom is currently being placed in a nursing home tomorrow.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I look at them and say, I don't know either.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I do know I couldn't do it without Christ in my life.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: And though I see many more challenges, I know at the end of them I can look up and say, Oh, I see what you're doing there.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.