Latest / Be It Till You See It / 742. How to Know When to Quit vs. Pivot
Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to quit your dream.
- 0:02[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the dream that you're trying to quit.
- 0:04[SPEAKER_00]: It's the exhaustion that is going along with it.
- 0:08[SPEAKER_01]: And that happens, right?
- 0:10[SPEAKER_01]: We start doing things one way.
- 0:12[SPEAKER_01]: And so we keep doing it that way.
- 0:13[SPEAKER_01]: And we think, oh my God, if I change it, it's just gonna all fall apart.
- 0:16[SPEAKER_01]: When really maybe it needs to change so we can keep growing.
- 0:19[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Beat till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
- 0:27[SPEAKER_01]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor, and fit this business coach.
- 0:30[SPEAKER_01]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
- 0:38[SPEAKER_01]: My friends, action brings clarity.
- 0:42[SPEAKER_01]: and it's the antidote to fear.
- 0:45[SPEAKER_01]: Each week, my guess will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it until you see it.
- 0:55[SPEAKER_01]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
- 0:58[SPEAKER_01]: All right, love, so a little while ago, I caught myself in one of those moods where you just want to, you want to quit it all, real quick.
- 1:11[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just I was working on this email and I was I am over this.
- 1:15[SPEAKER_01]: Why am I doing this?
- 1:16[SPEAKER_01]: Why did I say yes to this?
- 1:18[SPEAKER_01]: I said yes a long time ago and it made sense and now I'm in it and I don't want to be in it anymore.
- 1:22[SPEAKER_01]: I don't like the schedule that's supporting it.
- 1:24[SPEAKER_01]: I am just really tired of acting like it's all it was work this is working.
- 1:30[SPEAKER_01]: And I think we've all been there before when it's just months ago made decisions, now where the person we are, people would blame it on parry menopause, ADHD, whatever, but whatever about the reality is, when you're in those spaces, you do need to sit before you quit.
- 1:43[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I did.
- 1:44[SPEAKER_01]: So I sat with myself, what is the thing that's bothering me the most?
- 1:48[SPEAKER_01]: Because I really do love what I do.
- 1:50[SPEAKER_01]: So what about this?
- 1:53[SPEAKER_01]: isn't working.
- 1:54[SPEAKER_01]: What about this?
- 1:55[SPEAKER_01]: Am I actually done with?
- 1:57[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what I'm talking about today.
- 1:59[SPEAKER_01]: That's what this episode is about.
- 2:00[SPEAKER_01]: Should we quit or should we pivot?
- 2:02[SPEAKER_01]: So be a babe.
- 2:03[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to the beta.
- 2:04[SPEAKER_01]: You see it podcast where we really do talk about becoming the person who does a thing you really want to do.
- 2:12[SPEAKER_01]: We do.
- 2:12[SPEAKER_01]: We talk about doing that because you're going to do it before you're ready.
- 2:14[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to start acting as if you're that person you were going to do you're going to be the person who does the things you can have the thing is but instead of waiting to have the thing to be the person right.
- 2:23[SPEAKER_01]: But it's complicated.
- 2:24[SPEAKER_01]: It's hard.
- 2:25[SPEAKER_01]: So this is part one of a two part series or do any solo podcast based on what you've been asking for what you really wanted.
- 2:33[SPEAKER_01]: And we've had lots of interesting questions about quitting.
- 2:36[SPEAKER_01]: I've had definitely have some friends in my life who are literally like quitting.
- 2:39[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, are you sure you want to quit quit?
- 2:41[SPEAKER_01]: You sure you don't want to just reframe change the location, change the title, you know quit quit.
- 2:49[SPEAKER_01]: So I thought it would be really interesting just to like, let's talk about it.
- 2:53[SPEAKER_01]: Is it time to quit or do we need to pivot?
- 2:57[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that word pivot has a strong word for those of us who survived 2020.
- 3:02[SPEAKER_01]: I am the pivot queen when I'm in spaces and places and I hate that and love that about myself, because it does make me very hireable.
- 3:08[SPEAKER_01]: But it is important that we get honest,
- 3:14[SPEAKER_01]: about what is going on in our reality before we make big decisions, because I do find that a lot of women that I know would rather just quit it all and start all over, then take some time to get 30,000 foot view.
- 3:29[SPEAKER_01]: So let's get into it.
- 3:31[SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk about it.
- 3:32[SPEAKER_01]: So first we have a quitting myth that I wanna talk to you about, but I wanna really start off with is actually that I find a lot of people will be afraid to quit
- 3:43[SPEAKER_01]: they, that means they failed.
- 3:46[SPEAKER_01]: And I have definitely experienced this.
- 3:48[SPEAKER_01]: We made a big transition with agency several years ago.
- 3:52[SPEAKER_01]: And originally, I was my God, we failed at this.
- 3:56[SPEAKER_01]: I told myself some stupid story.
- 3:57[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
- 3:59[SPEAKER_01]: We didn't even quit it, right?
- 4:01[SPEAKER_01]: We actually just pivoted, but we got to a place where I had gone as big as it could in that capacity and I had changed, and the members had changed, and the needs had changed, and technology had changed.
- 4:11[SPEAKER_01]: And what we have capacity for had changed, and so, you know, it's really important that when you are making these big decisions in your life that you do not see quitting as failing, because they are not the same things.
- 4:22[SPEAKER_01]: I used to be so afraid to quit jobs because I thought, oh my god, they're not gonna like me or they're gonna think I don't like them, or the, I didn't think I'm cut out for this or something rather than, no, I'm just, there's this other thing over here that I need to be challenged with or need to experience and you to go through.
- 4:41[SPEAKER_01]: But there is something about those of us who are covering professions and over achievers, first-born daughters, we tend to catastrophize, changes on our decisions as if we have somewhat failed
- 4:52[SPEAKER_01]: we're failing ourselves.
- 4:54[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just not true.
- 4:56[SPEAKER_01]: It actually is a really convenient story just to help us be stuck.
- 5:01[SPEAKER_01]: So if you are in a space where you're just wanting, you're wanting to quit something, it's information, not a judgment or a verdict or something like that's just information.
- 5:09[SPEAKER_01]: And I think the more we can be gatherers of information so that we can make the best decisions, that's going to make life a lot more fun.
- 5:19[SPEAKER_01]: It's going to make it easier to be until we see it.
- 5:21[SPEAKER_01]: So the distinction, you know, I want you to kind of keep in mind as we go through this episode is you don't want to quit your dream.
- 5:29[SPEAKER_01]: It's not the dream that you're trying to quit.
- 5:30[SPEAKER_01]: It's the exhaustion that is going along with it.
- 5:35[SPEAKER_01]: And that happens, right?
- 5:36[SPEAKER_01]: We start doing things one way and so we keep doing it that way and we think, oh my god, if I change it, it's just going off all part.
- 5:42[SPEAKER_01]: When really maybe it needs to change so we can keep growing and keep doing it, right?
- 5:46[SPEAKER_01]: Staying going back to my story about how we change agency.
- 5:48[SPEAKER_01]: If we did not make this change the agency, I could not currently have a version of it.
- 5:53[SPEAKER_01]: It was becoming so encompassing in my time and it was keeping me from able to do the other things that I really dreamt of doing.
- 6:01[SPEAKER_01]: And so if I didn't make the change, if I didn't quit the
- 6:04[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to say I was exhausted from it, but just the weight of it on my calendar, then if I didn't make that change, then I was going to miss out on all of the things I want to do, right?
- 6:14[SPEAKER_01]: And we have to be honest about those things.
- 6:16[SPEAKER_01]: So you're not putting the dream, you are quitting the exhaustion or the way that you're doing that dream, right?
- 6:23[SPEAKER_01]: And wait, it's late at night, and you are working the midnight oil, as I say, or burning the midnight oil.
- 6:30[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's really hard to make a distinction between, you know, information and a verdict, information and a final, a finale, right?
- 6:38[SPEAKER_01]: Everything can feel big and we can catastrophize it.
- 6:42[SPEAKER_01]: I'm really good at that.
- 6:43[SPEAKER_01]: If you listen to episode 400 with Gay Hendricks in his book, there is this thing that we all do.
- 6:50[SPEAKER_01]: We don't all do it, but there's different ways that you pull yourself out of your
- 6:53[SPEAKER_01]: genius zone to get into comfort zone and one of those things is catastrophizing.
- 6:57[SPEAKER_01]: And so it happens when it's late at night and this thing isn't working and this thing isn't working and then it's well I should just quit and then it's well all these other things aren't working and we it's really hard one more tired to see things as information and support for where we need to go and but we're a guidance as opposed to what it feels like which is just you failed but you didn't.
- 7:17[SPEAKER_01]: So not the same thing is confusing you know I think it's really important that we
- 7:22[SPEAKER_01]: We remember that we get to love the things that we are doing and if we're not loving the current version of them, we can make a change in a doesn't mean failure or finale.
- 7:33[SPEAKER_01]: So the next thing I want to talk about is the messy middle is not a stop sign.
- 7:38[SPEAKER_01]: So a lot of people that I coach, they get into the middle of what their dream is and what their thing is that they're doing.
- 7:45[SPEAKER_01]: And it is messy and it is hard.
- 7:48[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes it feels like you're going backwards and and and not forwards or going down and not up.
- 7:52[SPEAKER_01]: And if you ever look up the book, the messy middle.
- 7:56[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it's called it's got this graph on the front and it's got a starting point in any point and it goes like a weird roller coaster, but everything does end up, but it doesn't feel like that because when you're in the middle and you're going up and down, up and down, sometimes you don't realize that you're actually up, you just were down a bit and you didn't realize that you've been increasingly going up there so a lot of people will get into the messy middle and they won't be getting achieving the things that they are wanting to do quick enough.
- 8:23[SPEAKER_01]: And so then they think that they're not cut out for this and that they should quit and I just want to say everything I have ever built including this podcast is it currently in the messy middle because it will be there until I exit right but.
- 8:38[SPEAKER_01]: Some days are better than others.
- 8:40[SPEAKER_01]: Some days it feels like some seasons feel like it's all falling apart.
- 8:43[SPEAKER_01]: Other seasons feel like we can't even keep up without great it's going.
- 8:46[SPEAKER_01]: But when it is all feels like it's all falling apart and not working, it can feel like, oh, maybe I should stop, maybe I should quit.
- 8:54[SPEAKER_01]: And you need to understand that the messy middle is genuinely part of the process.
- 8:58[SPEAKER_01]: It is where we actually build the muscle.
- 9:01[SPEAKER_01]: We need to go where we're got to get where we're going to go out to.
- 9:05[SPEAKER_01]: What we're going to grow our business to, we're going to grow our dreams to.
- 9:07[SPEAKER_01]: You have to have experiences so you can handle bigger experiences, right?
- 9:12[SPEAKER_01]: the success you want is really determined based on the problems you're able to solve.
- 9:18[SPEAKER_01]: And so if you haven't experienced a problem, it's hard to know how to solve that.
- 9:21[SPEAKER_01]: So it's going to be something you have to do.
- 9:23[SPEAKER_01]: And so it's better to learn than the messy middle than try to get to the end.
- 9:26[SPEAKER_01]: So I just want to say your brain will start to go off the feelings and the vibes.
- 9:31[SPEAKER_01]: You've got to have data.
- 9:32[SPEAKER_01]: You've got to have data and you have appointments with yourself to have the data.
- 9:35[SPEAKER_01]: So that you can make a confident decision about pivoting or quitting, right?
- 9:40[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, we all know this, but it's worth discussing decision fatigue is a real thing.
- 9:45[SPEAKER_01]: And so when you're overwhelmed, your brain wants to reduce mental load and quitting looks like the fastest exit.
- 9:52[SPEAKER_01]: But burnout does the same thing.
- 9:54[SPEAKER_01]: It makes everything feel impossible.
- 9:57[SPEAKER_01]: even the things you still care about.
- 9:58[SPEAKER_01]: So the messy middle isn't proof.
- 10:00[SPEAKER_01]: You picked the wrong thing.
- 10:02[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it's just proof that you're just freaking tired.
- 10:05[SPEAKER_01]: And it's okay to be tired, because a lot of us will do a lot of things on our own and think we don't have the time to hire outsourced or can't afford this course or this class.
- 10:16[SPEAKER_01]: And so we do things kind of a harder way.
- 10:18[SPEAKER_01]: And there is a lot of support now.
- 10:19[SPEAKER_01]: And so sometimes that proof that you're just tired,
- 10:23[SPEAKER_01]: is a good place to be, so you can actually change the things that you're doing so that you can keep going on the journey, but be less tired.
- 10:29[SPEAKER_01]: So just keep that in mind that sometimes you're overwhelmed, and so you feel like, well, I should just quit.
- 10:37[SPEAKER_01]: Overwhelmed, it's not the iPad thing.
- 10:39[SPEAKER_01]: You know, there's in me days are underwhelmed, there's in me days are overwhelmed.
- 10:42[SPEAKER_01]: We really have to be mindful about just going off of vibes and then being harsh on ourselves.
- 10:48[SPEAKER_01]: And we can add on to this because if you have an ADHD brain, like I do, like a lot of you do because we attract each other something that we have to be mindful of and this isn't it my coaches have been really helpful with is our brains crave novelty and stimulation so if a project or goal we're working on stops being new and starts being in that maintenance messy middle.
- 11:12[SPEAKER_01]: then our brain doesn't get stimulated from it and it can read it as it's not working when actually we're just in a boredom state because we lack stimulation.
- 11:21[SPEAKER_01]: We lack the hormones that keep our brains focused and so it's not misalignment and so something that I have to really ask myself of like am I craving a dopamine high?
- 11:31[SPEAKER_01]: Can I go for a run?
- 11:32[SPEAKER_01]: Can I play with my puppy before I want to
- 11:38[SPEAKER_01]: unexciting for some that is exciting, is this my ADHD real in the show or is this my actual conscious decision of who I want to be until I see it.
- 11:46[SPEAKER_01]: And so I hope that really makes sense.
- 11:48[SPEAKER_01]: Is this the ADHD or is this real life, right?
- 11:51[SPEAKER_01]: Is it what's going on there?
- 11:52[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes that means I do go for run a two, try to get the dopamine high or I do take my education and then it's oh, okay, I see we were just we were just a little bit bored.
- 12:04[SPEAKER_01]: So that leads us to our third segment, which is asking better questions.
- 12:08[SPEAKER_01]: So before you quit anything, instead of asking, should I stay or should I go?
- 12:13[SPEAKER_01]: Ask what part is actually not working?
- 12:16[SPEAKER_01]: If you're to look at everything, right?
- 12:18[SPEAKER_01]: So we're looking at this podcast, for example.
- 12:21[SPEAKER_01]: And I was just, you know, it's been six years, I feel, you know, in three years and we went to three episodes, I feel like it's really time to,
- 12:29[SPEAKER_01]: review everything so it's not the question was not should I quit the podcast the question is what about this podcast is working what about this podcast do people love what about what are the stats say about each of the episodes what would make me really enjoy it like I did at the very beginning.
- 12:45[SPEAKER_01]: what do I still enjoy?
- 12:47[SPEAKER_01]: What parts of it might not enjoy?
- 12:49[SPEAKER_01]: So instead of we're done, it's no, no, no.
- 12:52[SPEAKER_01]: What do we need to change?
- 12:53[SPEAKER_01]: What needs to reframe, reorganize, redo, refinance, get rid of.
- 13:00[SPEAKER_01]: So that we can continue to grow.
- 13:02[SPEAKER_01]: So waste ask yourself and your situation is, is it the pace?
- 13:06[SPEAKER_01]: Is it going too slow or too fast?
- 13:09[SPEAKER_01]: Is it the pressure?
- 13:10[SPEAKER_01]: Is that pressure from you and outside source?
- 13:13[SPEAKER_01]: Is it the people?
- 13:14[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you've got as far as you can with the people that you're with that happens.
- 13:17[SPEAKER_01]: It's not personal.
- 13:19[SPEAKER_01]: You know, it really does suck to like go with people or a place people with somebody else.
- 13:24[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing some work on our YouTube channel.
- 13:26[SPEAKER_01]: I love our team and I love our team in general.
- 13:28[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't matter the department, but I do love our YouTube team.
- 13:30[SPEAKER_01]: They've done a really great job with what I want, and I want more.
- 13:34[SPEAKER_01]: I brought someone in, not to replace them, but to guide them to the next stage.
- 13:39[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
- 13:39[SPEAKER_01]: Because I think it's important for us to always examine what's working, what's not working, where do we want to go, and is this, do we have the skill sets for where we want to grow,
- 13:51[SPEAKER_01]: Right, did you start with a map that actually wasn't finished or did you make a plan based on information and then halfway through you got new information.
- 14:01[SPEAKER_01]: So you're operating on an old plan but with new information, right?
- 14:05[SPEAKER_01]: Is it the support you have or you don't have?
- 14:07[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe you don't have it.
- 14:08[SPEAKER_01]: I said I hired someone to help me with where I want to go with my YouTube channel.
- 14:13[SPEAKER_01]: Is it the expectation you've set for yourself and what was supposed to happen?
- 14:18[SPEAKER_01]: Have you changed your goals in your life?
- 14:20[SPEAKER_01]: One of my girlfriends is retiring from what she has been doing.
- 14:24[SPEAKER_01]: And it's interesting when people change their lives in different ways it does force you to kind of examine what you're doing.
- 14:30[SPEAKER_01]: and it's kind of it's kind of nice because in your, oh, what am I jealous of for from her?
- 14:34[SPEAKER_01]: What am I invious?
- 14:36[SPEAKER_01]: What's what am I?
- 14:37[SPEAKER_01]: Ooh, I could never do that because I love this.
- 14:39[SPEAKER_01]: All that is information that really helps you understand what's working in your life and then what needs to be altered exchanged, changed up, supported, hired out, right?
- 14:48[SPEAKER_01]: So if it is pace, pressure, people plan or support, then those are five different problems with different solutions.
- 14:59[SPEAKER_01]: And we don't even need to ask ourselves, it should I quit because it's not about quitting.
- 15:06[SPEAKER_01]: It's actually about changing working with different levers.
- 15:09[SPEAKER_01]: And we just can't
- 15:14[SPEAKER_01]: We're thinking about this at the worst time of our fueled self when we haven't had enough sleep and when we are completely overwhelmed and exhausted.
- 15:23[SPEAKER_01]: So it's really important that we give ourselves space in a place to review things with 30,000 foot view and not so emotionally when that happens and that's really hard I know.
- 15:33[SPEAKER_01]: So the next thing I want to get into for, I should like, what are shape of it?
- 15:38[SPEAKER_01]: is your body already knows something and this isn't that I really have had to, I really learned the hard way.
- 15:45[SPEAKER_01]: I will say that every time I got a somewhat boyfriend in my life, I got immediately sick, really sick.
- 15:51[SPEAKER_01]: Different kinds of sickness, just different kinds of cold really, but in the summertime, when no one gets sick.
- 15:57[SPEAKER_01]: So my body was allergic to them and I should have taken that as a hand, but it takes time.
- 16:02[SPEAKER_01]: So here is something that I think we have to trust.
- 16:05[SPEAKER_01]: we have to learn to trust is that your body, our bodies, often know before our brain can articulate.
- 16:12[SPEAKER_01]: If you were to ask yourself, should I quit and your body doesn't feel instantly calm, in fact it feels panicked or frustrated, then it's probably not quitting.
- 16:23[SPEAKER_01]: But is it that I don't want to work weekends anymore?
- 16:26[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that feels really good.
- 16:27[SPEAKER_01]: So your body often can let you in on how you're feeling, even if your brain hasn't fully articulated it yet.
- 16:36[SPEAKER_01]: So I want you to be paying attention to your body, feel like it's in panic mode.
- 16:41[SPEAKER_01]: Does it feel heavy?
- 16:43[SPEAKER_01]: Do you feel relief or clarity or spaciousness?
- 16:46[SPEAKER_01]: You know, when I was when Brad and I were talking about,
- 16:48[SPEAKER_01]: making just so a few changes.
- 16:49[SPEAKER_01]: The podcast, I could tell as we're going to do this to do this.
- 16:53[SPEAKER_01]: I could feel, uh, that doesn't make me excited.
- 16:55[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, the mixie feels so so excited.
- 16:56[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I love this.
- 16:57[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm so excited for that.
- 16:58[SPEAKER_01]: And as my body was feeling that I enjoy an excitement, it really let me know.
- 17:04[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is the path we want to go, which are I my brain could not have articulated that with the start of the meeting.
- 17:08[SPEAKER_01]: That's not what I brain knew.
- 17:09[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I had to really take some time and think of some ideas.
- 17:12[SPEAKER_01]: And so K
- 17:16[SPEAKER_01]: So, it is the sensation that give us different information, relief and spaciousness, often point towards some of its actually complete and feeling really good, panic and urgency, at a point towards fear, or towards avoidance, or
- 17:28[SPEAKER_01]: that can be just up as a decision.
- 17:30[SPEAKER_01]: And that is tricky.
- 17:31[SPEAKER_01]: Intuition and avoidance can almost feel identical first.
- 17:34[SPEAKER_01]: And it's why we have it whole series on regulation and listening to yourself.
- 17:38[SPEAKER_01]: So go back and listen to them because if you're dysregulated, then it can be really tricky to listen to your body.
- 17:44[SPEAKER_01]: And you can take something as fear.
- 17:47[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm gonna feel it anyways when it's actually, ooh, that doesn't feel good, but you would just regulate it.
- 17:52[SPEAKER_01]: So how you weren't able to read the signals correctly.
- 17:56[SPEAKER_01]: I understand that, getting to know your self-listing your body sometimes can create panic, and it can be hard to listen that intuition.
- 18:02[SPEAKER_01]: And again, we have those episodes on listening to yourself in the intuition where it comes from.
- 18:06[SPEAKER_01]: It comes from experience.
- 18:08[SPEAKER_01]: Right?
- 18:08[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're new to listening to yourself is going to take some time, that means if you're before you quit something before you pivot, you really need to take some time to understand what your body is telling you so you can lean on your intuition.
- 18:21[SPEAKER_01]: You can't I don't want anyone listen to this podcast make rash decisions and go, oh, God.
- 18:26[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, something you can't go back sometimes you can, but wouldn't it be nice if you just like took a little bit longer to really feel into yourself about what it is that you're doing, what is it you're needing.
- 18:35[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want you to go oh my god I'm so dramatic you're not dramatic right it's just that your bodies have a hard time understanding clarity versus urgency right that can be hard to feel when something is allowed in your brain so.
- 18:50[SPEAKER_01]: Next time you feel like spiraling, please, please, please do not make a permanent decision from that temporary state.
- 18:58[SPEAKER_01]: If you can and you just sleep on it, I need you to go.
- 19:01[SPEAKER_01]: If you can't sleep, it's too early on the day.
- 19:03[SPEAKER_01]: I need you to go move your body.
- 19:04[SPEAKER_01]: I need you to do something to get regulated and then find a space, a place, a journal, a person where you can actually just ask yourself these questions.
- 19:14[SPEAKER_01]: So that you don't make a permanent decision from a temporary state.
- 19:19[SPEAKER_01]: Because it could just be temporary.
- 19:20[SPEAKER_01]: If you go for it on the block, you feel better at them.
- 19:21[SPEAKER_01]: We don't even need to do a decision.
- 19:23[SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing to make.
- 19:24[SPEAKER_01]: You just need that you didn't see as I'm dopamine.
- 19:25[SPEAKER_01]: You need some airing and some vitamin D. Before we wrap things up, we have a couple more things.
- 19:29[SPEAKER_01]: I do want to talk about this, this hunt cost trap, because I do think that some people will stick with something and not quit, because of all the time and money they've put into it.
- 19:37[SPEAKER_01]: And I just want to say that is a real thing.
- 19:40[SPEAKER_01]: And the name of it is called the sunk cost fallacy.
- 19:43[SPEAKER_01]: Many people have seen in relationships because of how much time they have together.
- 19:46[SPEAKER_01]: People keep friends around people keep working on a project because they spent a lot of money on it.
- 19:50[SPEAKER_01]: We haven't vested in things and it didn't go well and we just kept doing calls with them.
- 19:55[SPEAKER_01]: And it just let's just walk away from the fucking money.
- 19:58[SPEAKER_01]: You know, because it's...
- 19:59[SPEAKER_01]: Every hour we spend with them is an hour we're not doing something else that is making us money and that didn't work and so But you know, it's we people the human body and brain is conditioned to not lose money versus go make it So just want to say if you are in a space where afraid to make a decision about quitting or pivoting because you've been investing so much time I think it is really really important
- 20:22[SPEAKER_01]: to make sure that you're differentiating what we talked about the beginning of this episode, which is quitting is not failing.
- 20:29[SPEAKER_01]: If you find yourself going, I should have known better.
- 20:31[SPEAKER_01]: I'm embarrassed.
- 20:33[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, I'm an idiot.
- 20:34[SPEAKER_01]: All that stuff is probably a sign that you're in judgment, well, you are in judgment, but that you're in a sunk cost fallacy, and so you're kind of sticking things out.
- 20:41[SPEAKER_01]: You do want to get to yourself to a place of, you know what?
- 20:43[SPEAKER_01]: I learned what I need to learn here.
- 20:46[SPEAKER_01]: and I'm complete because that's what a lot of things are.
- 20:48[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of things are just learning lessons and we can just end it, right?
- 20:52[SPEAKER_01]: And ending things does not mean that they are failure.
- 20:55[SPEAKER_01]: It's information.
- 20:56[SPEAKER_01]: It's feedback, right?
- 20:58[SPEAKER_01]: So some endings are complete.
- 21:01[SPEAKER_01]: Others are often like a set up for where you're going to go.
- 21:04[SPEAKER_01]: You know, everyone thinks things are a setback, but have you ever seen how you do a bow and arrow?
- 21:08[SPEAKER_01]: You pull back to go forward, right?
- 21:10[SPEAKER_01]: So just know that sometimes we stick with things
- 21:16[SPEAKER_01]: We feel like we've a lot to lose when really we've gotten the lessons, the network, the people, the places that we need to go And it's time to move forward and then we got information from that that will set us up for what we want to do So I want to leave you with this because I do think that a lot of times we don't realize how brave we are And now we often think that quitting is not courageous or brave But it can be also it could be very brave to stay in the middle
- 21:46[SPEAKER_01]: and it can be very courageous to sit in a little discomfort a little longer because the mission is still alive and you're not you don't have enough information to make a change and then the change is not to quit.
- 21:58[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes the brave thing is time the truth that this is done.
- 22:02[SPEAKER_01]: You're not a failure but it's it's not quitting it's not shame it's just the end we ended that book.
- 22:07[SPEAKER_01]: So I just
- 22:14[SPEAKER_01]: and getting more information, it can look like pivoting, because you have the information, it can look like quitting because you've completed the task that you can't in this stage.
- 22:23[SPEAKER_01]: And I just, I think it really, it really does take guts to think about that and to do that.
- 22:28[SPEAKER_01]: And I really do hope that you see that too.
- 22:31[SPEAKER_01]: So I like to give you some journal prompts with these episodes.
- 22:34[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you like that.
- 22:35[SPEAKER_01]: Let me know if this is silly.
- 22:36[SPEAKER_01]: Leslie, why are we doing this?
- 22:37[SPEAKER_01]: Because I do want you to learn to listen to yourself and my forage might not be the same words you would use.
- 22:43[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm going to grab your journal or open up your notes app.
- 22:45[SPEAKER_01]: And I want you to do what am I actually done with?
- 22:48[SPEAKER_01]: what am I actually done with?
- 22:49[SPEAKER_01]: It's really funny.
- 22:50[SPEAKER_01]: I'm recording this on the 99 portal and your supposed right nine things that you're not taking with you.
- 22:55[SPEAKER_01]: And so even though you're listening that's not on 99, I honestly think it's really important.
- 23:00[SPEAKER_01]: What am I actually done with?
- 23:02[SPEAKER_01]: be specific, not this whole thing, but the actual part, the actual piece, I'm done with taking phone calls before 8 a.m.
- 23:10[SPEAKER_01]: I'm done with people having access to my personal line.
- 23:14[SPEAKER_01]: I'm done with emails from people who simply could Google the answer, right?
- 23:19[SPEAKER_01]: What am I done with?
- 23:20[SPEAKER_01]: Then the next question you're going to turn on is, when I imagine walking away, what does my body do?
- 23:28[SPEAKER_01]: do I panic or do I feel space?
- 23:31[SPEAKER_01]: So imagine yourself quitting, walking away, being done with whatever the specific thing is, and how does that feel?
- 23:39[SPEAKER_01]: The next question is, am I making this decision from a space of clarity or am I making this from a state of spiral or panic urgency frustration?
- 23:50[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't need you to rush your answer.
- 23:51[SPEAKER_01]: You might even just ask yourself the question and go for a walk.
- 23:55[SPEAKER_01]: Your brain loves an open loop.
- 23:57[SPEAKER_01]: But we're going to build on that for part two.
- 24:00[SPEAKER_01]: And I think awareness is key for being able to do our next move.
- 24:04[SPEAKER_01]: And so we're going to part two and a really guy into, you know, is it a pivot as a real goodbye?
- 24:10[SPEAKER_01]: Is it a pivot or real goodbye?
- 24:13[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, that's part one.
- 24:14[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I want to kick you off with.
- 24:16[SPEAKER_01]: So I hope I give you something to think about the next couple of days before we come back with our second episode in the series.
- 24:20[SPEAKER_01]: And I love if something, you know, if somebody said here really helped you, I'd love for you to screenshot this episode, share it on the social feeds that you use.
- 24:29[SPEAKER_01]: Share this text to a friend who needs to hear it, maybe someone in your life who is going through it.
- 24:33[SPEAKER_01]: Something in just really wondering, is it time to quit?
- 24:35[SPEAKER_01]: Is it time to pivot?
- 24:36[SPEAKER_01]: This podcast grows because you share it, so please do.
- 24:39[SPEAKER_01]: And until next time, you take a seat.
- 24:42[SPEAKER_01]: That's all I got for this episode of The Be It Tell You See A Podcast.
- 24:46[SPEAKER_01]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
- 24:50[SPEAKER_01]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast.
- 24:54[SPEAKER_01]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Beat Pot on Instagram.
- 24:58[SPEAKER_01]: I would love to know more about you, share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it, help us and others be a tell you see it.
- 25:06[SPEAKER_01]: Have an awesome day!
- 25:09[SPEAKER_01]: Be it till you see it is a production of the blue pod cast network.
- 25:13[SPEAKER_01]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
- 25:24[SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
- 25:29[SPEAKER_01]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epicteam at Desenio.co.
- 25:34[SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by Ellie at Apex production music, and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
- 25:41[SPEAKER_01]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
- 25:44[SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
- 25:48[SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.
- 25:58[SPEAKER_01]: All right, be a baby, so we're going to talk about something.
- 26:05[SPEAKER_01]: Ask and you shall receive.
- 26:06[SPEAKER_01]: I love that you have time to fix the table.
- 26:09[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, great.
- 26:11[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.