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What happens to a narcissist when they get old · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about what happens when a
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  narcissist gets old. What happens to them when they
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  when they grow older, when they grow up, when they not just grow
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  up, when they get when they get elderly.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. The, the, literally the age-old
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  question, what happens to a narcissist when they get old?
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  Like as they get older, you know, what happens to what goes
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  on in the mind of a narcissist as they age, as we get older and
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  things of that nature. I know I did a video very
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  recently about the birthdays and whatnot.
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  This is going to be a little bit different.
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  It's going to be digging more. This is going to dig more into
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  the, the mind of a narcissist as we, as we get older and whatnot,
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  'cause I'm a narcissist, I have the person, I have the disorder
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  and I'm getting older. I'm 39 years old now.
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  I know 39 is not old. I'm thankful to make it to 39
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  y'all. So many people don't make it
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  this this far. It's kind of wild.
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  But yes as narcissists get older they typically listen to me
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  typically do not get better. And that's just me being real
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  right there when I say this y'all.
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  Because I know a lot of people can process this in a lot of
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  different ways as I say this, but typically doesn't mean every
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  single narcissist, there is varying degrees of narcissistic
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  people. Not every narcissist is going to
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  get worse as they get older. Let's just be realistic, you
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  know, and not everybody is going to be a full blown narcissist.
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  The full blown narcissist typically do not get better.
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  They just they out, they don't. The full blown narcissist are
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  typically going to get worse. They're going to get worse as
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  they get older, not get better. It's just like the craziest
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  thing about in the mind of a narcissist.
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  And this is how I used to think y'all.
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  And this these starts kind of popping my head every once in a
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  while as well. It's just like, why do I have to
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  get old like you, you see, like older ageing narcissist can and
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  will absolutely be jealous of younger people.
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  It is just crazy. Like they'd be jealous of their
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  youth, like they get to live the they get to live and they're
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  young and a narcissist has lived.
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  They were that age at one time or another.
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  They just like narcissist. We always feel like we're
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  missing out on something, right? We always feel like we could get
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  more out of life. We always feel like we could be
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  doing more, getting more or, you know, moving forward more and
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  something like that. We always feel like there is
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  more to life than this. When we when you we get older,
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  we see somebody that's young, like, man, just give me that
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  youth. You know, it's kind of like, you
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  know, like you want to be like a a sorcerer and suck the youth
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  out of somebody like give me your youth and what not like a
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  like a it's kind of wild how it works.
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  But that's the mindset right there.
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  Like older ageing narcissists can absolutely be jealous of
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  younger people just for just for being y'all, for doing nothing
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  other than being younger than the then then us, then them, you
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  know, right, just for being younger.
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  We get mad, we get angry at them because we are younger than they
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  are. It is a crazy mindset to have
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  absolutely absolute insanity, absolute insanity to have that
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  type of mindset right there. Like, but there's, there's no
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  like I've worked on it because I've been in therapy for seven
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  years. But there's so many other people
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  they have not and they will not, they won't work on it.
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  They can't work on it. They just, there's nothing they
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  can do. They will do about it like they
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  just will have this just bitter feeling of younger people and
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  the and the closer in relationship you are to that
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  narcissist, the worse that they're going to, the more they
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  can be jealous of you, the angrier they will be at you for
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  being younger. Like imagine being the son or
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  the daughter of a narcissist as they get older and you're
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  younger than them and you might even look like them.
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  It might they might treat you worse if you look like them, you
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  know they'll be like you're wasting your time.
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  You get young and dumb, you stupid.
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  You know they'll belittle you just because you're younger.
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  They think they're better than you because they're older, you
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  know, but internally your age makes them into feel insecure
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  about themselves. You know, as we age, we older,
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  we lose our looks, we lose certain things about ourselves.
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  We lose, you know, we, we, we just, we, we change, you change.
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  Everybody's going to change. And there's, there's nothing you
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  can do about it, right? There's nothing anybody can do
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  about it. We're going to change.
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  We're going to get older. That's just like this life as we
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  as this life as it is, right? But narcissists, like if you
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  know, the son or daughter or grandchild or a narcissist, Oh
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  my goodness. And it's like it can be, you can
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  be as young as a baby. Imagine a narcissist, the older
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  and elderly narcissist holding the baby, holding their
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  grandbaby and just being jealous of their grandbaby.
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  You know what I mean? Like literally just being
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  jealous of them. Like just like you young.
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  I know you're my grandbaby, but you're just young and I, I can't
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  stand you. Like that's crazy.
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  It is a crazy mindset. They just feel like they could,
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  like narcissists feel like they can use your youth better than
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  you can, even if they've had a bad life.
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  That's crazy, isn't even if they just, you know, haven't
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  accomplished anything throughout their own lives, they feel like
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  they can use your youth better than you can.
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  Just get out of the lane. There's a second chance.
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  This ain't fair. They feel like life isn't fair
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  for them. That's why it's the best part of
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  it. That's part of them not wanting
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  to get older because they feel like life is just not fair for
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  them. It is a wild mindset to have
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  absolutely absolute insanity, absolute insane mindset, right?
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  It is. And that's part of it right
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  there. That's that's bits and that's
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  not even just bits and pieces. That's the, the, the bulk of it,
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  you know, the bulk of how it goes, the bulk of everything.
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  The narcissist mindset is just going to continue to work this
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  way because they benefit from y'all listen, how do they
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  benefit from y'all? Just do.
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  We just do, you know, it is crazy to think about that just
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  being jealous of younger people for being jealous and like
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  life's not fair. Like we didn't get out, we we
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  didn't get, we didn't get to squeeze out of the life out of
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  life out of our our own time because of something else.
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  We always blame other people, especially like the unsuccessful
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  narcissist, right? They're always going to blame
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  other other people for why they're not as successful as
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  they're people who they're similar ages as them, right?
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  I'm 75 years old, my friend is 75 years old and they're way
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  more successful than me because they were born into a richness
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  or they, you know, they got lucky breaks or whatever it is.
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  They are always, it's always going to be an excuse as to why
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  they are not where they are. And it's wild how it works, like
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  always making them an excuse for why we are not where we are,
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  where we want to be in life. Always making every excuse for
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  why things haven't gone the way they didn't needed to go.
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  Why always making an excuse for how, you know, we need to shift
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  and change our behaviors or what it is.
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  Yeah, it always something new. It's always a new excuse.
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  It's always something going on as to why we can do something
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  better. Right?
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  Like literally it is the mindset.
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  It's a mind piece. So I'm just telling you, when
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  you're dealing with an aging narcissist, they're going to,
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  they could just be taking it out on you, taking their own
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  frustration and anger out on you because you're the closest
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  person to them. Especially if like again, if
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  you're their spouse, if you're their son or daughter, if you're
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  their grandchild or whoever you are, if you work for them, if
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  you have an aging narcissistic boss or supervisor or CEO of the
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  company, they can be angry as hell because you're the young
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  hotshot and they can be treating you horribly.
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  You know the crazy? The crazy thing about it is
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  you're right. You might remind them of their
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  younger self and they just can't stand you for it.
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  Like this is your boss and you remind them of their younger
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  self. They can't stand you for it.
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  They're trying to make your life harder.
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  It's crazy how that works y'all. And I know people like ageing
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  narcissists, the full blown ones don't always are not always
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  happy. You know, happiness escapes.
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  Most narcissists, let's just say it like that.
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  Happiness is going to get away. It's going to kind of escape
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  most narcissists in in any situation because they can't.
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  We can't. We lack the ability to be happy.
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  You know, we're always chasing happiness throughout the entire
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  day of our lives. And most times narcissistic
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  people are not happy when they get older.
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  It's like they they get older and feel like they deserve more.
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  They feel like they deserve a better partner, a better house
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  or whatever it is they they can be.
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  You can get a rich, famous elderly narcissist and they
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  still be bitter and selling angry at the world and you be
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  like, what? Then you got everything you
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  could ever want. Why are you so angry at the
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  world? Why are you so bitter?
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  Why are you so narcissistic? Like what the hell is going on
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  with you? Like you, you, yes, you older,
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  but you live the full life. You've got you rich, you're
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  famous, you got everything anybody else will want.
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  And that's the thing right there.
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  Y'all they have, they have everything that anybody else
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  would want and they're still not happy.
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  They have everything that they thought would make them happy.
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  And This is why you see a lot of narcissists get a lot of
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  narcissistic people become successful because they, they
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  chase happiness and they, they equate happiness to money,
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  right. So if it's like if I get enough
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  money and popularity and fame, then I'm happy, you know, then
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  I'm extremely happy. I'm going to be happy.
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  I'm going to be fulfilled. That's what I like.
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  I'm going to chase after their happiness.
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  And when they get everything that they wanted, when they get
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  everything that they've been pursuing, when they get
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  everything that they've been chasing after and they're not
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  happy, that's frustrating. Tony Robbins.
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  Yeah. Tony Robbins said that he's like
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  the ultimate. He's like the ultimate failure
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  in life. One of the most, one of the
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  biggest failures in life is success without fulfilment,
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  success without joy, success without happiness.
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  Like you get everything that other people would view as
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  successful. Even you would view it as
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  successful and you're not happy with this, you get an aging
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  narcissist, right? An older narcissist that has
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  achieved everything that people would die to achieve and they're
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  still not happy, man. They could be old, bitter as
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  hell, discarding their husband or wives of 30-40 years, going
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  out here dating somebody that's way too young for them.
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  Like, you know, they're 7580 years old dating somebody that's
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  1819. It can get rough, y'all, it can
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  get rough because they feel like they equate it now.
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  They used to equate money to happiness, right?
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  But now because they're elderly and they're not happy and they
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  might and they might have money, then they equate youth to
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  happiness. So they're trying to get
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  younger. So we even though we can't get
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  younger, some of them can some of them will get surgeries and
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  things like that to feel younger.
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  Botox, whatever it is, they feel younger, they look younger.
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  Some type of plastic surgery, they feel younger, but what
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  they'll do sometimes is go after some a younger partner, they go
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  after a younger partner. They replace their older partner
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  they might have grown old with, might have been together for
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  twenty, 30-40 years and then they'll try to replace that with
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  somebody younger because it makes them feel younger.
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  Because now they equate youth to power, right?
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  They equate youth to happiness. When they get somebody younger,
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  they're not really happy with them.
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  It may might seem happy out in public, but like damn, they look
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  so they look so happy with that young person.
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  They left me with somebody 30 years younger than them.
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  They seem so happy. You know, they're not really
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  happy internally. Most of them are not, you know,
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  it just seems happy. Anybody can smile in the
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  picture. That's why I think it confuses
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  so many people that anybody can smile in the picture, right?
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  Anybody can. And but smiling does not always
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  mean happy. I think so many people equate
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  smiling to happen. It's like, yeah, I can smile
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  right here. And I'm sad to tell him.
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  Is that like, leave that :) no, I didn't.
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  No, it didn't. It's a Coke bottle.
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  No, I'm joking, but that's the mindset right there, y'all.
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  There's literally the mindset of narcissistic people.
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  Like we feel like we need to find a way to be happy.
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  We need, we feel like we need to find a way to to chase happiness
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  until the older we get and the less happier we are, the angrier
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  we are. That's why you see the older
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  aging angry ass narcissist. Like I'm just telling y'all,
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  y'all might have you, you might not have realized it until now
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  that your grandma or your grandpa who was a narcissist, it
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  was angry as hell in the world. Like like why my grandma's so
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  angry as hell. Like she got everything, all her
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  grand, all her grandbabies around her, her kids, her great
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  grandkids, great grandkids, everybody's around her happy and
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  smiling. She's angry as hell.
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  She's like, I'm just mad as hell the world like because they
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  didn't get to experience happiness.
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  You were supposed to be happy surrounded by your family,
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  you're supposed to be happy with property and all this other
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  stuff, but you're not happy. You're just old and angry as
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  hell. So they take it out in the
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  world. That's why you get these older
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  bitter narcissists, y'all. I'm just telling you, you know,
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  and if you're the child of like, and like I said this, I'm, I
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  know I've been speaking about the, the wealthy narcissist or
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  the narcissist, at least I can take care of themselves
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  financially. But you get the, the aging
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  elderly narcissist that doesn't, that doesn't have much.
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  They feel like the world owes them something.
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  And so they will use people, they will use the system, they
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  take care of themselves. They will use their partners,
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  their kids, whoever it is, they make you feel.
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  And if you're the child of an aging narcissist, they make you
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  feel like you're obligated to take care of them.
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  Hey, you got to take care of me. I'm not going anywhere.
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  I'm not, I'm not doing that. I know I ain't got no job or
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  nothing like that. You got to take care of me.
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  I've seen it happen time and time again and it is sad to
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  watch it happen. It's sad to have it transpire.
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  It's it really is sad, y'all. So as I tell people, you have to
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  keep doing these mental check insurance with yourself in order
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  to, to, to continuously empower yourself to deal with an older
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  aging narcissist. And I know it sucks.
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  I know it sucks to talk about, but this is how you empower
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  yourself. You empower yourself by
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  continuously moving forward. You empower yourself by taking
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  the time, effort and energy that you need in order to power up
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  and keep and keep pressing forward.
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  Because as a narcissist myself, like as my looks start to fade
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  and you know, get wrinkly or whatever it is, I'm going to
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  probably become angry and bitter too.
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  Now I'm just playing I'll, you know, most narcissists don't get
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  to the point where I'm at right now.
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  Like the older you get, the less likely you are to go to therapy
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  as well. I'm not saying it's impossible
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  to go to therapy, I'm just saying it's less likely to go.
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  You're less likely to go to therapy, less likely, you know,
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  if I'm 75 years old and, and starting therapy, saying you see
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  what I'm saying like it's 75 years of, you know, childhood
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  trauma compounded with life, 75 years of life.
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  It'd be very difficult to start therapy.
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  I've seen people start therapy in their 70s.
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  I'm not saying it's impossible, y'all.
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  I've seen it, I've seen it happen.
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  I'm just saying it's, it's very, it's different.
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  It's a different it's a different life to start therapy
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  when you're older. Y'all OK.
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  Anyway, y'all, thank you for tuning into this episode.
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  I hope this brought you some clarity.
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  Hope it brought you some peace. If you haven't already, make
• 14:19
  sure to check out joining my support groups or go on my take
• 14:22
  one of my courses. I have a course called
• 14:24
  Understanding the seven stages of a narcissistic relationship.
• 14:27
  Helps you understand what you've been through, why you got
• 14:29
  picked, why you got chosen by all this other stuff.
• 14:31
  And I have a support group called the mental healers.
• 14:33
  Check that out as well. The mental healers is, you know,
• 14:35
  if I do say to myself, it's a great group, great group.
• 14:38
  And last but not least, the Facebook page is still currently
• 14:42
  hacked. So y'all, if y'all see on
• 14:45
  Facebook and you're angry at me for posting certain videos, it's
• 14:47
  not me. Scroll through my stuff.
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  Yeah. I wonder if I ever posted a
• 14:50
  video of my page. It doesn't have my face in it.
• 14:51
  Talk about narcissism. It's not me on Facebook.
• 14:54
  When I get my Facebook page back, if I get it back, just
• 14:56
  pray, Pray for me, y'all. I will post a picture of me,
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  smile and say this me. It's ADI.
• 15:01
  It's a Disney. Something like that.
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  Anyways, y'all make sure you subscribe to the channel, y'all.
• 15:06
  Thank you so much. But then this is a piece.
• 15:08
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 15:10
  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 15:13
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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  to the channel, help us reach more people and click on the
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  screen to watch another video or to browse through another
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  playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
• 15:23
  you heal and understand what you've been through.
• 15:25
  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
• 15:27
  video. Peace.