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Indian Girls Don't Do This: How I Went from Scared & Shy to Thriving Solo in Thailand · Babes, how did you get here

• 0:00
  And you wanted to go and work in a million percent, and he was fine for them.
• 0:04
  Honestly, it was probably one of the most interesting jobs I have ever done.
• 0:08
  What were you doing there?
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  So I was a personal development mentor, which basically I helped prepare
• 0:14
  with some more releases and things.
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  So a lot of the really struggled relationship building and reinventing it, you know,
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  housing and things like that.
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  A lot of them wanted to be in the prison because it was their safe place.
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  I'm so excited for today's conversation to explore how she continues
• 0:30
  to defy cultural expectations and what life is truly like here in Thailand
• 0:34
  as a single woman.
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  But first, I have to ask, babes, how did you get here?
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  Now, that is a story.
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  Okay, so I've been coming to Thailand since 2019.
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  I came, I left Australia, I was leaving for good, and I thought I'm going to come to pick it.
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  For two weeks, come to fitness street and just train.
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  Fitness street, that's the name of the street.
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  Well, it's called Sawi Tayi, but it's known as fitness street.
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  All the gyms, the Muay Thai gyms, the protein bars, you know, strength and conditioning gyms are all on one street.
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  I got here and I was like, oh my God, this is like an absolute dream.
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  So two weeks turned into two months and then ever since then, like I went back to England,
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  I've been coming back every year, apart from COVID time.
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  Sure.
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  And my brothers like, there's so many countries in the world.
• 1:17
  Why do you keep going back to Puket?
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  And I'm like, because it has everything I need and it's the only holiday I go on where I come back
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  and I feel, and I look better than I did before I left.
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  So it's just such an addictive place.
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  And Puket is beautiful. Thai people are amazing.
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  And Puket for me now has been home since 2023.
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  Okay.
• 1:37
  Take me back, you came here from Australia, but could you take me back to when you were in the UK
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  and you made that first move to Australia?
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  Because that in and of itself is a big step.
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  Yeah, absolutely.
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  So I actually took a career break.
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  So I was working, I graduated.
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  I got my degree in psychology and I worked in the psychology field as a social work assistant for a while.
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  I got really stressed in that job.
• 2:01
  I was dealing with, you know, I had to sort of deal with child protection cases.
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  And I felt like at the age of 21, it was too heavy for me.
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  So then I decided I'm going to have a career break.
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  So it was either makeup, personal training or going into the police force.
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  And I chose makeup randomly.
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  So I was working at Mac.
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  I got a job there and there was a lot of Christmas temps coming and they'd come in December time
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  and they'd just been traveling to Australia.
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  I'd never dreamt of going to Australia.
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  It'd never been a country that appealed to me.
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  And I was like, I'd love to do that, but I'm Indian and brown.
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  I can't do that.
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  Indian girls don't do this sort of stuff.
• 2:36
  Okay, but real talk, tantrums do not look fun.
• 2:39
  But what if I told you that they don't have to take over your house?
• 2:43
  In my course, managing tantrums like a CEO,
• 2:46
  I'll teach you the strategies that turn tantrums into opportunities,
• 2:50
  no yelling, no bribes, no screens and no chaos.
• 2:54
  You will learn how to understand what's really going on behind those meltdowns,
• 2:58
  how to keep her cool when they lose theirs,
• 3:01
  and how to raise emotionally intelligent children without losing yourself in the process.
• 3:06
  Because CEOs don't react babes, they respond and you can do the same.
• 3:10
  So if you're ready to bring more calm connection and confidence to your home,
• 3:14
  click the link and check out managed tantrums like a CEO.
• 3:18
  Anyway, it just kept playing on my mind.
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  And one day I had a really, really frustrating customer.
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  And I was walking to my car and I was like, you know what?
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  I'm going to go to Australia.
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  And then I was like, how am I going to tell my dad that I'm going to go to Australia?
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  I was petrified.
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  Are you an only child?
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  I've got a brother who's three years older than me.
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  Okay.
• 3:38
  Indian girls don't move to the other side of the world.
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  They don't really travel.
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  You know, my dad just wanted me to settle down, get married, have kids.
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  I was at that age.
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  So I plucked up the courage to tell him and he was like, you're not going to Australia
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  unless you've got a job.
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  Okay.
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  Okay.
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  What do I do now?
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  So I stayed up every single night and called every Mac store in Sydney and Melbourne.
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  Okay.
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  So I had to wait until midnight so it was the morning in Australia.
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  And I called and called and called every single store.
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  I managed to get through to a regional director there.
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  I harassed her.
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  Like I was so annoying.
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  And she was like, you were the most persistent person I have ever met in my life.
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  I'm going to give you a telephone interview.
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  Okay.
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  So she did that.
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  And then I had an interview with the store manager where they were looking for an assistant manager there.
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  Sure.
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  And I managed to get the job.
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  So I went back to my dad.
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  I said, I've got a job in Australia.
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  So I landed on the 16th of February 2012 from Canada and I started work the next day.
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  Wow.
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  So you get to Australia.
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  And I appreciate that you're excited by this point because you've heard these stories from these attempts.
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  Were there any like experiences that you weren't expecting and you perhaps reconsidered if you should get back on a plane and go home?
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  Well, to be honest, even getting on the plane, I would, I've never traveled alone.
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  Okay.
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  I've never really went on many holidays until I was like 1819.
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  Sure.
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  We didn't do family holidays as children.
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  Okay.
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  So when I was on the plane, I went from leads to London, then London to Dubai.
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  And on the flight from leads to London, I cried the whole time.
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  Oh, gosh.
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  Like the person next to me must have been like, what is wrong with this girl?
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  I was like, I can get to London and I can get a train back.
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  I was petrified because it was completely out of my comfort zone.
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  I've never been to another country alone, let alone Australia, which is the other side of the world.
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  Literally.
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  Yeah.
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  And so then you get to Dubai, you're just doing a layover and you get to Australia.
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  Yeah.
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  Is it the job that kind of keeps you focused or are there other elements of being in Australia
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  that were like, this is where I'm supposed to be?
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  To be honest, I had, I've got a cousin that lives in Sydney.
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  Okay.
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  So I went straight to his place.
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  Yes.
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  Now where I was working, it was an hour and a half on the train.
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  Oh, wow.
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  So it was Nate Bondi, but he lived at the other side of Sydney.
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  Sure.
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  So my dad felt comfortable with me going to stay with a family member initially.
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  Sure.
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  But this commute was too much.
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  So I was like, right, I'm going to have to stay in a hostel because I'm going to have to meet people.
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  Okay.
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  And for me again, I've, I've always been a shy quiet kid.
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  Even at uni, I had five Indian friends.
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  Sure.
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  I was known as a quiet shy one that never spoke.
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  Okay.
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  Okay.
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  So for me getting there and getting into still, I remember being in the dorm with five other girls who couldn't speak English.
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  Right.
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  Looking in the courtyard, going, I'm going to have to go out there and talk to people and make friends.
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  And I felt physically sick.
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  My nerves were all over the place.
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  Anyway, I did it.
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  It got easier.
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  I met people and then I moved to different hostels and then I finally moved into a five bedroom house.
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  And for me, then it was a lot easier, you know, and then I was working and I had routine and, you know, everyone was into fitness and I was like, wow, this is a whole new world.
• 6:46
  But it took a long time to adjust and I was only meant to stay there for six months and work at Mac for six months.
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  Okay.
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  On a working holiday visa.
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  Yeah.
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  And then travel and my return flight was booked from Hong Kong nine months later.
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  Okay.
• 6:59
  I didn't get on that flight.
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  Oh, really?
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  So I stayed in Australia.
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  I was like, you know what?
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  I don't need to get on that flight.
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  Okay.
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  So I managed to get a sponsorship through work and, yeah, so I ended up to stay.
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  And how long were you in Australia for?
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  So I did three and a half years.
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  Okay.
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  So I went back to England for nine months.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely hated it.
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  Okay.
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  So that moved back to England.
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  Was that to stay in your mind at that point where you like, I'm moving back home now?
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  No, it wasn't.
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  No.
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  I had a family member that was terminally ill.
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  So I needed to go back to support my mum through that.
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  Okay.
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  So I went back home for the nine months and then I moved back to Australia.
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  I was sponsored.
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  Okay.
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  Unfortunately, I had a bit of bad luck.
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  I lost my job.
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  So I had to try to find another sponsor.
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  Sure.
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  So I was moving from sponsorship to sponsorship.
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  And I always said, I want to leave Australia when I'm ready.
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  I never wanted to be forced out of the country.
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  Yeah.
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  But it got to a point where my visa was up and I had to go.
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  Okay.
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  And then you go where?
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  So then my friend told me about Puket.
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  Okay.
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  Because she'd been at Christmas time and she told me about it.
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  And I was like, oh my god, I'd love to do that.
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  And then I got back to England because I really didn't want to go back to England at this point.
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  I'm just going to come to Puket for two weeks.
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  Right.
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  I fell in love with the place.
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  Two weeks turned into two months.
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  And then I got back to England and I was like, what have I done?
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  Tell me when you get to Puket.
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  What is it that gives you this overwhelming feeling of, wow, this is the place.
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  It's just so beautiful.
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  And when I arrived onto fitness street, I was just like, this street has everything I need.
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  And I felt like Bondi where I lived in Sydney was a bit of a bubble.
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  And I feel like I like my bubbles.
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  And I feel like fitness street in Puket is like a bubble.
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  And the Thai people are so lovely and welcoming.
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  The beaches are stunning.
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  You know, there's so much to do here.
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  And I'm quite an outdoorsy person after living in Australia.
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  In the UK, obviously, I really wasn't because it was freezing.
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  You know, it would be raining all the time.
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  I'd be watching EastEnders and you know, just staying in.
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  But there's so much to do here.
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  The beautiful beaches, the walks.
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  You know, there's a lot of expats here as well.
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  Amazing Thai people as well.
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  I've got loads of Thai friends here now.
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  So for me, it's got everything.
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  You know, it's got the perfect balance of delicious food.
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  Beautiful beaches.
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  You know, amazing hikes.
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  All my fitness stuff is there.
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  I can eat good food, good clean food as well.
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  So it was just perfect for me.
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  And before you came where you're ready into fitness,
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  because I know you're coming from your makeup industry
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  and it was the one of the options at that time.
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  You said it was either going to be makeup, fitness or the police force.
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  Did you already start getting your way into that fitness space in Australia?
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  In Australia, I did, yes, because I'd wake up in the morning
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  and I'd go for a walk by the beach.
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  And I'm like, why are these people at 6am doing boot camps on the beach?
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  I'm like, what is wrong with them?
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  You know, don't people sleep?
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  Sure.
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  I was, I put a little bit of weight on and I was like,
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  I don't feel very good.
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  So I started training.
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  I got really into exercise, so living by a beach,
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  you know, everyone's got amazing bodies.
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  And I was a lot older than a lot of the people
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  that were traveling Australia,
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  because I did it quite late on.
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  You know, I was in my early 30s
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  and you see a lot of people go and do work in holiday visas
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  that are in their 20s.
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  Sure.
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  So I was like, I'm competing with these younger ones, right?
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  I'm single.
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  I need to meet a man.
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  I need to work on myself.
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  So I really got into training then.
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  So I was working at the Australian Red Cross.
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  I've done a lot of work with refugees in Australia as well.
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  And then I was training at F-45,
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  which is a group fitness class.
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  Yeah.
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  Now I loved it so much.
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  I was like, I need to work for them.
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  Okay.
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  I did my qualifications in Australia.
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  I became a coach as well.
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  So on the side of my sort of psychology jobs and social work jobs,
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  I did fitness on the side as well.
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  And you know, that's just become part of my life now.
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  And now I get to sort of combine the two,
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  which is fantastic.
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  So coming here and just having a street that is just full
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  of different gyms and different training,
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  I was just like, this is a screen.
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  100%.
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  And so when you go from two weeks,
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  you're going into two months,
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  are you at this point thinking,
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  what are you going to do for work?
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  Or did you already know that you were going to start your online fitness business?
• 11:17
  No.
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  So I didn't, I had no idea.
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  So I literally just trained two, three times a day.
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  Okay.
• 11:24
  I was eating really well.
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  I felt amazing.
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  And then I went back to the UK.
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  And that's when I was like, right,
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  I need to start applying for jobs.
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  Okay.
• 11:30
  So I applied, applied.
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  I sent so many applications out.
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  And then one day I just,
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  I get an offer for an interview at a male prison.
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  And I was like, why the hell have I applied for a job at a male prison?
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  It was near my house.
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  Okay.
• 11:44
  I've known that of this prison for years.
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  Sure.
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  Growing up as a kid.
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  And I also had an interview with a charity as well.
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  And I ended up getting a job at the prison.
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  Okay.
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  And I had the choice of working at a charity.
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  So I was like, in my head,
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  do I go for the nice little charity or women,
• 12:02
  nice, chilled, relaxed, office vibes, you know,
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  or do I go and work in this category,
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  be male prison?
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  And I was like, you know what?
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  I'm going to go down the prison room.
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  Really?
• 12:15
  Yeah.
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  I'm so glad I did.
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  And I didn't think for an Indian dad,
• 12:19
  that he'd want people to ask what did dad see?
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  Dad was fine.
• 12:23
  And I was like, Dad, you want me to go and work in a male prison?
• 12:27
  And he was fine with it.
• 12:28
  And honestly, it was probably one of the most interesting jobs
• 12:31
  I have ever done.
• 12:32
  What were you doing there?
• 12:33
  So I was a personal development mentor.
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  Okay.
• 12:36
  Which basically I helped prepare prisoners for release.
• 12:39
  Amazing.
• 12:40
  So a lot of them, you know,
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  really struggle with relationship building
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  and reoffending and, you know, housing and things like that.
• 12:46
  And a lot of them wanted to be in the prison
• 12:48
  because it was their safe place.
• 12:50
  Right.
• 12:51
  You know, they'd reoffend to go there
• 12:52
  because, you know, they were on the streets
• 12:54
  and were taking drugs, which was really, really sad.
• 12:56
  Yeah.
• 12:57
  And I absolutely loved it.
• 12:59
  And then in lockdown, I was furloughed.
• 13:01
  So I still did a bit of fitness on the side as well.
• 13:03
  Okay.
• 13:04
  So on the weekends, I'd coach classes.
• 13:06
  Sure.
• 13:07
  And I'd do some Zoom PTs and things like that.
• 13:12
  But it wasn't until lockdown happened.
• 13:14
  And I got furloughed from the prison.
• 13:16
  Sure.
• 13:17
  That, you know, I set up my own business.
• 13:20
  Okay.
• 13:21
  Going back to the prison for one second
• 13:22
  because I'm still kind of visualized.
• 13:24
  This beautiful petite.
• 13:25
  Look at Indian lady in this male prison.
• 13:28
  And how like were you received in terms of within that space?
• 13:32
  Well, I have never had a boss say to me,
• 13:34
  you need to try and make yourself look as unattractive as possible.
• 13:39
  So I was like, right, okay.
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  So I was borrowing big baggy tops on my mom.
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  I was just wearing leggings.
• 13:46
  I hardly wore any makeup.
• 13:47
  Sure.
• 13:48
  She was like, she was like in her 50s, my boss.
• 13:51
  And she was like, I'm in my 50s and I get hit on, right?
• 13:54
  So you need to sort this out.
• 13:55
  And I was like, okay.
• 13:56
  So no eyeliner.
• 13:57
  I go in there looking like a screw.
• 13:59
  And the funniest thing is one of the prisoners said to me once.
• 14:02
  He was like, you dress really mumsy.
• 14:04
  And I was like, well, that's because I'm wearing my mum's clothes.
• 14:07
  You think I'm going to come here in my best outfits.
• 14:09
  And yeah, no, it was great.
• 14:12
  Obviously there was, you know, there was a bit of tension here and there.
• 14:15
  But, you know, and the fear in me sometimes I'd be opening the door to get onto the wings
• 14:21
  and there were prisoners that I have a side.
• 14:23
  And I'd be like, right, don't act like you scared.
• 14:25
  Right.
• 14:26
  Inside I am shooting it.
• 14:27
  Absolutely breaking it.
• 14:28
  So I'm walking through like I own the place.
• 14:31
  So one of them even said to me, he goes, miss you walk around here.
• 14:34
  Like you own the joint.
• 14:35
  I'm thinking if you only knew how I was feeling inside.
• 14:39
  How long were you there?
• 14:40
  I was there for about 10 months.
• 14:42
  Okay.
• 14:43
  So a good stretch.
• 14:44
  Yeah.
• 14:45
  And that's when Covid hit.
• 14:46
  Yeah.
• 14:47
  Okay.
• 14:48
  So Covid happens.
• 14:49
  You're furloughed and then you're strategically planning to move back to bouquet at this point.
• 14:53
  No, I wasn't even thinking of coming to bouquet.
• 14:55
  So I was furloughed and then I was made redundant.
• 14:57
  Okay.
• 14:58
  So during lockdown, I decided to do free Instagram live workouts.
• 15:02
  Okay.
• 15:03
  So I was working with them Monday to Saturday, every single day.
• 15:06
  And they became so popular.
• 15:08
  I had loads of people that were so.
• 15:10
  So you're just working all people are just joining.
• 15:12
  Yeah.
• 15:13
  So I can't see them.
• 15:14
  Right.
• 15:15
  I'm jumping around my attic.
• 15:16
  And I've got my little niece who's joining in with me.
• 15:18
  So I do the workouts, but people were doing them.
• 15:21
  So it became really popular.
• 15:23
  So I carried on doing that.
• 15:24
  And then when we were allowed to go outside, I said, does anyone want to do any outdoor PT?
• 15:30
  Right.
• 15:31
  I had 40 PT's a week outside.
• 15:33
  Yeah.
• 15:34
  I had so much interest.
• 15:35
  I was doing Zoom PT's.
• 15:36
  I'm moving.
• 15:37
  And then I, you know, I was doing a little bit of online coaching at the time.
• 15:40
  Right.
• 15:41
  And then when we could fly, I had, you know, I came straight back to bouquet.
• 15:45
  Okay.
• 15:46
  I was like, I need to come back.
• 15:47
  So I did another stint here.
• 15:50
  Sure.
• 15:51
  And then I went back home.
• 15:52
  And then I was like, right, before I turned 40 in 2023, I was like, I fell awful.
• 15:58
  I had had Christmas.
• 15:59
  I'd been eating all my mom's delicious Indian food.
• 16:02
  And I was like, I'm not turning 40 feeling like this.
• 16:05
  Okay.
• 16:06
  So I was like, okay, I'm going to come in February 2023, celebrate my 40th birthday here and go home.
• 16:12
  Right.
• 16:13
  And when I came here, I actually spoke to a friend and I said, you know, I'm really considering, you know,
• 16:19
  setting up full time as an online coach.
• 16:21
  Okay.
• 16:22
  He was like, well, there's a business mentor that's actually in bouquet and he's doing a seminar tomorrow.
• 16:26
  And I was like, well, got nothing to lose.
• 16:28
  Sure.
• 16:29
  So I went along to that.
• 16:30
  I signed up with this business mentor.
• 16:32
  I put on to on my Instagram.
• 16:34
  I'm taking online coaching clients.
• 16:36
  And the interest I had was huge.
• 16:38
  So I was like, I don't need to be in England for this.
• 16:41
  Sure.
• 16:42
  And in bouquet, there's a lot of online coaches here.
• 16:45
  There's a lot of people that work remotely.
• 16:47
  There's so many great co-working spaces.
• 16:49
  And I grew my business from here.
• 16:51
  I don't think I would have been able to grow it to where it is now back in the UK.
• 16:55
  Because there was too many distractions.
• 16:57
  And when you say distractions, is that personal distractions?
• 17:00
  Or is there something about being in bouquet that gives you the energy that just helps with that growth?
• 17:05
  So the distractions would have been, you know, family and then living at home.
• 17:09
  And, you know, I could never get anything done.
• 17:11
  It was, I was like, can you do this? Can you do this? Can you do this?
• 17:13
  Sure.
• 17:14
  But here, you're surrounded by like-minded people who are growing their businesses as well.
• 17:18
  And, you know, I'd go to co-working spaces with friends.
• 17:21
  We wouldn't even talk.
• 17:23
  But it was just nice having someone there and knowing that you're both working together.
• 17:27
  Sure.
• 17:28
  And, you know, working in the fitness industry and being surrounded by other, you know, like-minded people, online coaches as well, all doing the same things,
• 17:36
  bouncing ideas off each other.
• 17:38
  I feel like it really helped me in my business grow.
• 17:41
  Amazing.
• 17:42
  And the business mentor that you engaged with, how did that help your business?
• 17:46
  It's just more for accountability, really.
• 17:49
  And, you know, even little things about how you share things on Instagram and social media and what you should be posting.
• 17:56
  And, you know, I was very new to it. I was just posting, you know, whatever I felt like on a daily basis.
• 18:00
  Sure.
• 18:01
  And I just think Instagram is a full-time job in itself, you know.
• 18:04
  So it really helped, you know, with self-belief as well.
• 18:09
  Because I was, you know, initially I was like, am I good enough? Can I do this?
• 18:13
  I know how to train people. I know about nutrition. I know what you need to be doing to get amazing results.
• 18:19
  But it was more about that belief in myself that I could actually help others.
• 18:23
  Right.
• 18:24
  So I think for me, coaching really helped.
• 18:26
  You know, and I think coaching helps anyone, whether it's live coaching, business coaching, any sort of coaching, all coaches have coaches.
• 18:33
  Sure.
• 18:34
  That's amazing.
• 18:35
  And was there any point because you've done so many varied professions that you doted whether the fitness profession was going to be for you or where you just convinced there was something in you that knew that this was a good fit.
• 18:48
  Because I love fitness so much.
• 18:50
  And I went through, you know, a bit of depression. I had really bad anxiety.
• 18:56
  And I saw how much fitness completely transformed my life and changed my life and how much more confident it made me.
• 19:03
  I really want to help women do the same.
• 19:06
  And I still incorporate my psychology background into it because it's not just about training, what you're eating, you know, and exercise.
• 19:16
  It's about it's a lot to do with the mind.
• 19:18
  Sure.
• 19:19
  You've got to be ready up here to be able to do these things.
• 19:22
  So I love the fact that I could combine the two together.
• 19:26
  I feel like they work really well. So I'm still using my psychology background, getting people fit, getting people healthy.
• 19:33
  And yeah, it just works really well.
• 19:35
  So I'm one of these people. I do get bored quite easily in jobs.
• 19:39
  That's why if you look at my CV or resume or what people like to call it, it's like a five page essay, you know, because I've always had the mentality.
• 19:47
  If I get up in the morning and I dread going to work, I'm not doing it anymore because you know, I'm not married.
• 19:54
  I don't have kids. I don't have a mortgage or anything just yet.
• 19:57
  So I'm in the position to do that and I appreciate other people can't do that.
• 20:01
  But when I'm in the position to do that, like work is such a big part of your life.
• 20:06
  And if you don't enjoy what you do, I change it.
• 20:10
  But at the moment, I'm absolutely loving what I do because it's so varied and everyone's different, every person that I work with is different.
• 20:16
  So yeah, I'm loving it.
• 20:18
  Would you say or is it fair to say that when you came for that fortieth and you described, you know, being perhaps a little bit heavier than you are used to and you were in this mindset of I'm getting to 40 and I'm about to turn it off.
• 20:31
  Would you say that growth of that kind comes sometimes from places where we don't feel our best or was that just coincidence for you?
• 20:40
  No, it definitely comes where you don't feel your best.
• 20:43
  Yeah, so, you know, coming out here and then really focusing on my training and my nutrition and I was just like, oh my god.
• 20:51
  And then I'd obviously been back in the UK for quite some time and I never really felt after leaving Australia that I belonged there.
• 20:58
  Okay.
• 20:59
  Can you unpack that a little bit more?
• 21:01
  Yeah, of course. So, you know, moving away from the UK.
• 21:05
  Something I never thought I'd do lived away for seven years.
• 21:08
  Coming back to England, I'd walk around feeling like, you know, I just didn't belong there.
• 21:14
  It was really bizarre.
• 21:16
  You know, I missed the people, I missed my family, I missed my friends dearly, but I don't miss the place.
• 21:23
  You know, Australia was great for me.
• 21:26
  There was so much personal and professional growth there.
• 21:29
  And then even when I came to Thailand for my 40th, I looked at other coaches and I was, or even people working online, I'd be like, I'd love to do that.
• 21:37
  Right.
• 21:38
  My dream has always been to be able to work from anywhere in the world with my laptop.
• 21:42
  And now I get to do that.
• 21:44
  So, I'm forever grateful that I can just pick up and go.
• 21:47
  Sure.
• 21:48
  This conversation, you've mentioned quite a lot about family.
• 21:51
  It's clearly very important to you.
• 21:53
  You've mentioned quite a lot about being Indian and what that means.
• 21:56
  Explain for people who perhaps don't understand what the context of growing up in an Indian culture means in terms of moving and living abroad or being a single woman abroad by herself.
• 22:07
  Absolutely.
• 22:08
  Yes.
• 22:09
  This is a long one.
• 22:10
  Okay. There's a lot to talk about here.
• 22:12
  So, I'm Sikh.
• 22:13
  I'm Indian and, you know, as an Indian girl, you know, we're brought up and we kind of have like a set plan in life that we should follow in our culture.
• 22:23
  So, it's very much like your parents that have their kids.
• 22:26
  You have to send them to university.
• 22:28
  They need to have a degree.
• 22:30
  Once they've finished their degree, you get them married.
• 22:33
  And then the parents can kind of relax.
• 22:36
  Sure.
• 22:37
  So, once the kids are married, you've done your job.
• 22:39
  Now it's time for you to relax.
• 22:41
  So, obviously that didn't happen for me.
• 22:43
  You know, I didn't meet the right person and a lot of people in my culture, South Asians.
• 22:49
  You know, they don't move to the other side of the world.
• 22:52
  They don't really do that much traveling one because, you know, parents don't allow it regardless of what age you are.
• 22:59
  And two, it's because, you know, a bit like me, scared and nervous and not ever done anything like that before.
• 23:07
  So, you know, I always feel and I always call myself the black sheep of the family.
• 23:12
  I've kind of gone against the stereotypical norm of a Sikh Punjabi girl.
• 23:18
  Okay.
• 23:19
  So, I'm, you know, I'm 42 now.
• 23:21
  I'm not married.
• 23:22
  I don't have any kids.
• 23:23
  I don't own a house.
• 23:25
  Yes, these are all things that I would absolutely love, like I really want children.
• 23:29
  I'd love to settle down.
• 23:31
  You know, I want to buy a house.
• 23:33
  I want to get on the property ladder.
• 23:35
  But it hasn't happened for me yet.
• 23:37
  So, you know, what I really want to get across and what I try to get across on my social media is, you know,
• 23:43
  that, you know, everyone's path is different.
• 23:46
  And, you know, times are changing now.
• 23:48
  And I just want more South Asian women, you know, obviously being a South Asian background.
• 23:54
  And all my clients are South Asian.
• 23:56
  I want them to take risks and move to other countries and live their life and experience what I've experienced.
• 24:02
  Because if I had followed the path that my family wanted me to follow.
• 24:06
  I'd be married now with two, three, four kids living in the house.
• 24:10
  That was going to be my question, right?
• 24:12
  So, if at those points where you went back to England and perhaps you had found the person that you felt was the right person and had the family and settle down,
• 24:20
  then it would have been at the expense of this other life that you have lived.
• 24:24
  And what do you think that this version of Katie has gained where she might have lost all on if she had gone the traditional route?
• 24:32
  So, I'm not 100% sorry, I'm not against the traditional route.
• 24:37
  But if that would have happened for me, then fine, if I, you know, I would have met a really nice Indian man and I'd be happy and I had kids, then I'd be fine with that.
• 24:47
  But I was in a relationship for quite a few years.
• 24:51
  And that was my first ever relationship and I was like, right, that's it.
• 24:56
  I need to do something for me now. I spent 11 years in that relationship.
• 25:00
  I was a big chunk of my life and I said to myself, I don't want to get to 40 and regret not doing anything in my life.
• 25:06
  So, that's when I was like, right, I need to go to Australia.
• 25:09
  I need to experience life. I want to do things.
• 25:12
  And so, you know, that's why I moved away initially.
• 25:15
  I sometimes wish that I'd, you know, never experienced that life because I've seen so much now and I've experienced so much,
• 25:24
  I'm not going to settle for that life back at home and just doing the stereotypical things because I'm like, there's so much out there.
• 25:31
  There's so many beautiful places and don't get me wrong if I had someone to share it with.
• 25:36
  Sure.
• 25:37
  It'd be great, but the moment I don't and I'm happy and I'm comfortable and I'm confident enough to do it alone.
• 25:42
  Like, I love solo travel.
• 25:44
  Sure, I love going away and being on my own, you know, and going to coffee shops and I think that's made.
• 25:50
  It made it a little bit harder for me to actually settle down and meet someone because I'm so independent.
• 25:56
  Yeah.
• 25:57
  Have you always been quite comfortable as in before adulthood?
• 26:00
  Have you always done things a little bit differently?
• 26:02
  Yeah.
• 26:03
  Really?
• 26:04
  As a child, I was, you know, I went to a school where me and my brother were the only Indians there.
• 26:10
  So, there was a lot of racism growing up and that made me really shy, really quiet.
• 26:16
  And I just remember the one time where, you know, I came home from school crying because I didn't have a partner on the school trip the next day.
• 26:23
  Sure.
• 26:24
  You know, I was, that was distraught and I just grew up really, really shy, really, really quiet.
• 26:30
  And even through uni, I was very much like that as well.
• 26:33
  And it wasn't until my early 30s where I feel like I came out of my shell.
• 26:37
  Sure.
• 26:38
  I had to do when I worked in the fitness industry because you're in a group, you're coaching 40, 50 people.
• 26:44
  You have to be able to get up there and talk, you know, and be confident.
• 26:48
  Sure.
• 26:49
  But initially it was more like a performance for me.
• 26:51
  I'd go there.
• 26:52
  And then as soon as the class was done, I'd be like, breathe, breathe, breathe.
• 26:56
  So it was like I was putting on a show.
• 26:58
  Sure.
• 26:59
  But it's just helped me in so many ways, confidence-wise, you know, I think living away and experiencing different things helps you grow so much as a person.
• 27:10
  It's cliches, it sounds.
• 27:11
  But, you know, there's so much to this world than leads than England, you know, there's so much to see and explore.
• 27:18
  And I just, if I can inspire two, three people to step out of their comfort zone and go and experience something different in life.
• 27:25
  And, you know, I'd be super happy with that.
• 27:28
  Do you think there was an element of being in a foreign country and not having to be tied to any sort of identity that allows you the freedom to reinvent whoever you want to be?
• 27:39
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 27:40
  Because I feel like when I go back to England, you know, I still get family members.
• 27:45
  Katie, why are you not married yet?
• 27:46
  You know, what's wrong with you?
• 27:48
  You know, is there something wrong with you?
• 27:50
  And I'm like, there's nothing wrong with me.
• 27:52
  Because in my culture, when you're not married at a certain age, it's like you're passed yourself by date.
• 27:57
  Okay.
• 27:58
  Your time's done now.
• 27:59
  It's not going to happen.
• 28:00
  Sure.
• 28:01
  So for me being away, I feel free.
• 28:03
  So I'm going back to England actually tomorrow.
• 28:06
  Sure.
• 28:07
  And I know that I'll get comments.
• 28:09
  And I might get, you know, you know, a lot of people do say, oh, you live a great life this and the other.
• 28:14
  But then a lot of them are like, do you not want this?
• 28:16
  Do you not want kids?
• 28:17
  Do you don't want to get married?
• 28:18
  Do you not want to own a house?
• 28:20
  And I'm like, yeah, I would love all those things.
• 28:23
  But I'm quite happy and content with my life now.
• 28:26
  So I am a little bit nervous about going back because I know that these comments are coming.
• 28:31
  But I feel like I'm a better equipped now with the responses than I was saying in my 30s.
• 28:38
  Sure.
• 28:39
  Because in my 30s, I was still a bit more sensitive.
• 28:41
  And I'd get really upset by these comments, you know.
• 28:44
  But now I'm just like, just let me be.
• 28:46
  I'm living my life.
• 28:47
  I'm happy.
• 28:48
  And can I ask for you to be in a relationship for 11 years?
• 28:52
  Most people are like, okay, cool.
• 28:54
  This is the relationship.
• 28:55
  This is like you've kind of mapped out your own narrative.
• 28:58
  What was it that gave you the courage, again, coming from a family that has these expectations or a culture that has these expectations?
• 29:05
  I can easily understand being in an 11 year relationship, me kind of just going to the next steps because I feel that that's what is expected of me.
• 29:13
  I'm just wondering what gave you the courage to walk away from an 11 year relationship and know that you still had work to do to fulfill yourself?
• 29:22
  Yes.
• 29:23
  So this was my first relationship.
• 29:25
  So it was when I started dating him when I was 15.
• 29:28
  Sure.
• 29:29
  So it was the first ever relationship.
• 29:31
  We were young, we were, you know, but still living with our parents.
• 29:35
  At first, it was, you know, at that time, you couldn't tell your parents you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
• 29:41
  You know, it wasn't, it wasn't the dumb thing.
• 29:43
  So it was, you know, meeting up in secret and there was a lot of sneaking around.
• 29:46
  It's all different now.
• 29:48
  But, you know, it taught me that, you know, when I sort of had this big chunk of my life, 11 years, I was just like,
• 29:56
  I feel like I've wasted so much time and I don't want to be 60, 70, 80 going.
• 30:01
  I wish I'd done more with my life.
• 30:03
  Sure.
• 30:04
  So that ended and then I took a career break and then I worked in a Mac and then that's when I decided, right, I need to do something with my life.
• 30:10
  I'm going to Australia.
• 30:12
  Cool.
• 30:14
  What is dating like?
• 30:15
  Is it quite a transient space?
• 30:17
  Are people coming and going?
• 30:18
  Are people looking for family life?
• 30:20
  Are they looking to settle?
• 30:22
  How do you navigate that?
• 30:23
  It's very transient.
• 30:24
  Okay, honest.
• 30:25
  It really, really is.
• 30:26
  It was, it's very much like Australia as well.
• 30:28
  I always said that the men live in Peter Panwold, right?
• 30:31
  Then they never, like, they never grow up.
• 30:33
  Okay.
• 30:34
  You know, they were in their 40s and they look bloody incredible.
• 30:36
  They're training all the time.
• 30:37
  They're tanned.
• 30:38
  They look great.
• 30:39
  And Pouquet is very much the same.
• 30:41
  Don't get me wrong.
• 30:42
  I've heard stories of people meeting their life partners here.
• 30:46
  And so it's, it's a bit of both.
• 30:49
  But where I live on fitness street, it's very transient.
• 30:52
  People are coming and going.
• 30:54
  So I'm going to go back to England now and then I'm going to move to a different part of Pouquet where it's more people that, you know, there's a lot of expats there.
• 31:02
  But they're more, they're long term ones here.
• 31:05
  Okay.
• 31:06
  It's, it'd be a little bit easier.
• 31:08
  But I feel, you know, I speak to friends that live in Dubai and they're like, they can't meet anyone.
• 31:12
  Like it's very much the same.
• 31:14
  But then, you know, I've been back to England for a long time as well.
• 31:17
  I didn't meet anyone there.
• 31:18
  So it's like, you know, people are like, oh, you know, go back to England.
• 31:21
  You'll meet the man.
• 31:22
  You, you'll meet them.
• 31:23
  You can meet them anywhere in the world.
• 31:25
  You can meet them at the airport.
• 31:26
  Yes.
• 31:27
  You can meet them on the airplane.
• 31:29
  So, um, yeah, I just think Pouquet.
• 31:33
  It, you know, it depends where you stay in Pouquet.
• 31:36
  Okay.
• 31:37
  You know, if you can, 100% meet the man or you dreams.
• 31:40
  Do you ever get worried that from a perspective of our biological clocks, from a protective of what messages like meter tries to constantly tell us as women?
• 31:49
  And you said that you want these things, right?
• 31:53
  Do you ever get concerned that in Pouquet, you won't be able to fulfill that part of your life?
• 31:58
  That's one thing I really do worry about.
• 32:00
  Okay.
• 32:01
  It's, it's for me being 42 and not having children.
• 32:05
  Like, I just remember as a kid, you know, I've always said I want to be a mom.
• 32:09
  I absolutely adore children.
• 32:11
  And when I went back to the UK in 2023, I did have some, um, some fertility tests done.
• 32:17
  Okay.
• 32:18
  And they didn't come back great.
• 32:19
  Um, so my AMH and egg quality is quite low.
• 32:23
  Because after 35, it gets lower anyway.
• 32:25
  Sorry.
• 32:26
  What is the image?
• 32:27
  Egg quality.
• 32:28
  Egg count was low.
• 32:29
  Okay.
• 32:30
  Okay.
• 32:31
  Um, but I had a friend that got told that she'd never be able to have children because her egg quality, her egg count was so low.
• 32:37
  Sure.
• 32:38
  She's now had two children.
• 32:39
  Sure.
• 32:40
  You know, I just think leaving God's hands.
• 32:42
  I'm moving.
• 32:43
  You know, so, um, I should have frozen my eggs when I was younger.
• 32:46
  That's one thing I wish I had done.
• 32:47
  Okay.
• 32:48
  But I haven't done that now.
• 32:49
  So I'm like, okay, if I'm meant to be a mom, I'll be a mom.
• 32:52
  Um, if not, I've got an adorable niece and nephew who I treat like my own children.
• 32:56
  Sure.
• 32:57
  Yeah.
• 32:58
  I mean, I think the way society also is bizarre because I think there's so much negativity around even motherhood now.
• 33:04
  But that's like for a whole, yeah, I think we're in a weird generational space.
• 33:08
  Also where no one seems to want to hear ideas that are beyond their own.
• 33:13
  Yeah.
• 33:14
  So, you know, with social media and you being trained by an algorithm, you only get fed the things that you want to hear.
• 33:19
  Absolutely.
• 33:20
  And so we lose a little bit of the spectrum on discussions where they could kind of challenge our ideas.
• 33:26
  And I think even moving to another country, it's such a thing that I have taken for granted.
• 33:32
  Right.
• 33:33
  So I was born in the UK.
• 33:34
  I've been my first flight to Jamaica six weeks.
• 33:36
  And so I've lived in Jamaica most of my life, but I also went to school in New York.
• 33:40
  And I lived a little bit in France.
• 33:42
  And I realized that I took it for granted.
• 33:45
  I was just moving, right?
• 33:47
  And then when we understand and we speak to other people who haven't lived those lives,
• 33:51
  you realize that there's a lot of fear in moving based off of other people's expectations.
• 33:57
  And I think you talking about COVID and how you navigated and started the plan is really interesting
• 34:03
  because it does seem that for a lot of people, COVID forced them to really reconsider their lives.
• 34:09
  And what they wanted from from their life.
• 34:12
  Absolutely.
• 34:13
  I think obviously that time in COVID, it seems like it was a lifetime ago.
• 34:18
  But you know, really made people realize you confine to your own home, you can't leave the house.
• 34:24
  And then as soon as everything opened up, people were booking holidays, get me out of here.
• 34:29
  You know, we've been here too long.
• 34:31
  And I just think for me, I think people need to experience life a little bit more.
• 34:36
  Especially in my culture as well.
• 34:39
  Like they, you know, they're just kind of settle and they kind of do what's expected that of them, the societal norms,
• 34:46
  the expectations, the pressures.
• 34:48
  But I'm like, you know, we're not like our parents, they're brought us up in a great way.
• 34:54
  But you've got to experience life now, you know, and do the things that scare you.
• 34:59
  And this is what I really push people to do, you know, solo traveling as well.
• 35:03
  That's probably one of the best things that I've ever done.
• 35:05
  What do you gain when you travel by yourself? What do you gain?
• 35:09
  You're by yourself and you're in a different country and you've got to really learn about the country.
• 35:14
  You know, I remember the first time going out for dinner on my own.
• 35:17
  And I was like, I was pretending I was on the phone because I was like,
• 35:21
  do I look like an absolute loser sat here?
• 35:23
  Like now I absolutely love it.
• 35:25
  I love taking myself out for dinner.
• 35:27
  I love going for coffee on my own.
• 35:29
  And, you know, just even just looking around and like seeing what's going on.
• 35:34
  And I just think so many people are scared of doing that, stepping outside of their comfort zone.
• 35:39
  And I just think we're living a world now where you need to do it.
• 35:42
  You know, life is too short.
• 35:44
  And I just think there's so much in this world to see.
• 35:47
  And it makes me sad that people, you know, don't ever leave the country.
• 35:53
  You know, I've got friends that, you know, they haven't really left England.
• 35:56
  They've been on a few holidays here and there.
• 35:58
  Sure.
• 35:59
  But I think after moving to another country and experience that life,
• 36:03
  I'm like, more people need to do this.
• 36:06
  Have you visited other parts of Thailand?
• 36:08
  Yes.
• 36:09
  So I did in 2014, when I was living in Australia, I did Southeast Asia.
• 36:14
  So I did Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand in five weeks.
• 36:18
  Oh well.
• 36:19
  I was exhausted.
• 36:20
  I was getting on sleeper bus.
• 36:21
  I was going from place to place.
• 36:22
  But I was like, I need to see this.
• 36:23
  I need to see this.
• 36:24
  And it was great.
• 36:26
  I crammed a hell of a lot in.
• 36:28
  Sure.
• 36:29
  But it was so fun.
• 36:30
  And then I did that on my own as well.
• 36:32
  Because I think I got to an age where my friends had all settled down and got married.
• 36:38
  So I was like, OK, if I want to travel and see a bit of the world,
• 36:43
  my friends are all married.
• 36:45
  I've got to do it alone.
• 36:46
  So I was kind of forced to do it alone.
• 36:48
  But in a way, I'm actually really grateful that I've done it the way I've done it.
• 36:52
  Because I'm like, you know, I could get on a plane tomorrow and go to another country
• 36:56
  and be completely fine with it.
• 36:57
  Sure.
• 36:58
  Do you think that you'd live anywhere else in Thailand?
• 37:01
  I'm not too sure, actually.
• 37:03
  I've been to Bangkok a few times recently.
• 37:05
  I do like it.
• 37:06
  I like beaches though.
• 37:08
  I like being by the ocean.
• 37:10
  So I want to be by the ocean.
• 37:13
  And you know, when I was in England, I was considering moving to London.
• 37:17
  I like just a big city.
• 37:18
  Yeah.
• 37:19
  Bangkok's just a big city.
• 37:20
  So for me, I really like Puket.
• 37:23
  You know, I've been to Krabby recently.
• 37:25
  It was a bit quiet for me.
• 37:26
  Coast movie.
• 37:27
  I did go in 2014, but long time ago.
• 37:31
  Sure.
• 37:32
  So when I come back from the UK, I'm going to do a little bit of travelling a bit more
• 37:37
  around Thailand and see if I want to base myself somewhere else here or even maybe
• 37:42
  a different country.
• 37:43
  Like I've got a friend that lives in Vietnam.
• 37:45
  And the first time I went to Vietnam, you know, I absolutely loved it.
• 37:49
  People say, where's the best country you've ever been to?
• 37:51
  And I always say to them, Vietnam.
• 37:53
  Really?
• 37:54
  Yeah.
• 37:55
  And when people ask me why, and I'm like, it's really hard to explain.
• 37:57
  It's a people, the culture, the, you know, it's just so beautiful.
• 38:01
  So I need to sort of travel around a little bit.
• 38:06
  Sure.
• 38:07
  Because I said I wanted to do 40 countries by 40.
• 38:10
  Okay.
• 38:11
  I think I'm on 28.
• 38:12
  So we've got some travelling to do this.
• 38:14
  So I need to do 50 countries by 50 now.
• 38:16
  I have got a lot to do.
• 38:18
  That's amazing.
• 38:19
  And is there anything or at any point since you've been here in Puket that you
• 38:23
  reconsidered whether you had made the right decision to move?
• 38:29
  No, to be honest, I think it's been one of the best decisions that I've ever
• 38:33
  made.
• 38:34
  Like I loved Australia, but it's still a little bit too far away from home.
• 38:38
  I know Puket is still quite far as well.
• 38:40
  But seeing how productive I am work wise here.
• 38:45
  And then how happy I am here as well.
• 38:48
  And my parents came out to visit in 2024 and they came out this year as well.
• 38:53
  And I was so nervous about them coming because they'd all, you know,
• 38:57
  my dad's always been, you know, when are you coming home?
• 39:00
  When are you coming home?
• 39:01
  Sure.
• 39:02
  And when my dad came in 2024, I was like, oh my god, he's going to hate it.
• 39:05
  He's going to be like, this is like India, but worse, there's, you know,
• 39:08
  there's a lot of movements.
• 39:09
  It's dirty.
• 39:10
  It's this and the other.
• 39:11
  They had a great time.
• 39:12
  And for the first time in my life, I felt like it was acceptance of me living away.
• 39:18
  Okay.
• 39:19
  When I did that for you.
• 39:21
  Honestly, it was great.
• 39:22
  Like the Thai people would be like, mama, papa.
• 39:25
  They were giving them like mango sticky rice.
• 39:27
  They treated them so much respect and there was so lovely to them.
• 39:31
  And my dad saw that I was safe here because I think for, you know,
• 39:35
  of dads, with their daughters living at the other side of the world,
• 39:39
  they're always going to worry.
• 39:40
  Parents are always going to worry.
• 39:41
  Yeah.
• 39:42
  But he saw how safe Thailand was because people always ask me as well on social media,
• 39:47
  TikTok and Instagram.
• 39:48
  It's Thailand safe.
• 39:49
  Okay.
• 39:50
  I'll be walking our fitness street at 11 o'clock at night after I've had a massage.
• 39:53
  And it's completely safe.
• 39:54
  Sure.
• 39:55
  So when my dad actually went back to England, my mum and dad in 2024,
• 39:59
  that's when they introduced the DTV visa in Thailand.
• 40:03
  Okay.
• 40:04
  She's a digital nomad visa.
• 40:05
  Right.
• 40:06
  And he actually sent me the link for the visa on WhatsApp.
• 40:09
  Yeah.
• 40:10
  And I almost cried because I was like, for me, that was the first time that,
• 40:14
  you know, the acceptance was there.
• 40:16
  I feel goosebumps myself.
• 40:17
  Yeah.
• 40:18
  Yeah.
• 40:19
  Because in Australia, you know, a lot of my friends were white.
• 40:22
  Okay.
• 40:23
  And their parents would say, live your life.
• 40:25
  You know, enjoy yourself.
• 40:27
  I'd be scared of ringing home and speaking to my mum and she'd be like,
• 40:31
  be to your dad.
• 40:32
  I'd be scared because he'd be like, when you come in home and I'd be like,
• 40:34
  she's got to answer this question.
• 40:36
  You know, and I always said to my friends, I'd be like,
• 40:39
  my parents would rather me be at home and miserable than at the other side of the world and happy.
• 40:45
  Yeah.
• 40:46
  And I remember having the conversation with my dad when I did go home to visit from Australia.
• 40:50
  And he said, you've got no family there.
• 40:52
  How can you be happy?
• 40:53
  Sure.
• 40:54
  He didn't understand it.
• 40:55
  But that's because, you know, he's an old, an old Indian dad.
• 40:59
  Yeah.
• 41:00
  And he couldn't understand why you'd ever be happy living that far away from your family.
• 41:06
  Do you think a part of him was taking it personally?
• 41:08
  I think so.
• 41:09
  Yeah.
• 41:10
  But the funny thing is about my dad is, so he was born and brought up in India.
• 41:14
  And he left to go and work in the Middle East as a mechanic.
• 41:18
  Sure.
• 41:19
  His parents didn't want him to go.
• 41:20
  Sure.
• 41:21
  I'd be like, say, you know, in a matter of times, I've had to bite my tongue and say,
• 41:24
  you've done exactly the same.
• 41:26
  Sure.
• 41:27
  But I don't want to be disrespectful to my dad.
• 41:29
  I'm like, you have done what I have done, but it's different because I'm a female.
• 41:34
  And I'm your daughter.
• 41:35
  100%.
• 41:36
  So he's done it.
• 41:37
  It's such a beautiful thing that he sent you the link.
• 41:39
  Honestly, it was great.
• 41:40
  Yeah.
• 41:41
  And also, it's a beautiful way of communicating so much without having to say it.
• 41:45
  Like sometimes we talk too much and we can over speak.
• 41:48
  And, you know, these small actions get to say everything that needs to be said.
• 41:52
  And I think I'd always felt guilty for living away, even when I live in Australia,
• 41:56
  or even living in Thailand.
• 41:57
  There was always that guilt inside of me.
• 41:59
  Specifically to your dad or just in general.
• 42:01
  To my dad.
• 42:02
  Yeah.
• 42:03
  Because, you know, he wants me to settle down.
• 42:05
  He wants me to get married.
• 42:06
  Sure.
• 42:07
  And, you know, my brother's even said to me as well.
• 42:09
  He said, you know, dad can't relax until you're married.
• 42:11
  Okay.
• 42:12
  It puts a lot of pressure on you.
• 42:13
  Yeah.
• 42:14
  And I respect my culture, respect my family.
• 42:18
  And I don't want to be a disappointment.
• 42:20
  Sure.
• 42:21
  I just want to live my life and be happy, you know.
• 42:24
  I miss them a lot.
• 42:25
  I speak to my mum every day.
• 42:26
  And, you know, sometimes I get mad about mum.
• 42:28
  I'm like, why aren't you calling me for two days?
• 42:30
  She's like, oh, well, I've watched your social media Instagram stories.
• 42:33
  I've seen you're okay.
• 42:34
  I'm like, you were getting blocked.
• 42:35
  Sure.
• 42:36
  Yeah.
• 42:37
  Why don't you call me and see if I'm all right.
• 42:38
  Oh, gosh.
• 42:39
  Oh, that's amazing.
• 42:40
  That's amazing.
• 42:41
  And it's amazing that it feels that it allowed you even more space to breathe.
• 42:45
  Yeah.
• 42:46
  And a little bit of weight.
• 42:47
  Yeah.
• 42:48
  Absolutely.
• 42:49
  Gone.
• 42:50
  Yeah.
• 42:51
  Yeah.
• 42:52
  Yeah.
• 42:53
  But yeah, that's not what we're talking about.
• 42:54
  So I won't go down that alley.
• 42:55
  Do you think there is a major misconception?
• 42:56
  You mentioned earlier that you got a lot of questions about safety.
• 42:58
  Are there any other things that people perhaps envisage about a life in Thailand and being here?
• 43:02
  It's absolutely not that.
• 43:03
  Yeah.
• 43:04
  I think people think that it is unsafe, you know.
• 43:08
  They're like, you know, it's not a very developed country.
• 43:11
  And, you know, that's not what we're talking about.
• 43:14
  So I won't go down that alley.
• 43:16
  Do you think there is a major misconception?
• 43:18
  It's not a very developed country.
• 43:20
  And, you know, there is the language barrier as well.
• 43:23
  Okay.
• 43:24
  And I think people, yeah.
• 43:26
  Honestly, the one question I get the most is, is it safe?
• 43:30
  Sure.
• 43:31
  I feel safer here.
• 43:32
  I'm actually going to London when I go back to the UK.
• 43:35
  And all I'm hearing about is crimes where people are snatched in fur.
• 43:39
  I want to say, babe, hold on to your phone.
• 43:40
  I'm not joking.
• 43:41
  I come out the train.
• 43:42
  I don't know anywhere.
• 43:43
  I look on Google Maps in the train.
• 43:45
  I'm trying to take literally a photographic image in my mind,
• 43:48
  because I don't want to take my phone off when I come above the train.
• 43:51
  Yeah.
• 43:52
  So I'm more scared of going back to the UK than, you know,
• 43:56
  I feel so safe here.
• 43:58
  I'm on my phone all the time.
• 43:59
  I'm holding it from my little string.
• 44:00
  Sure.
• 44:01
  It's so safe.
• 44:02
  I think people need to come and experience it for themselves.
• 44:04
  You know, my videos have done it as well about the safety.
• 44:09
  Sure.
• 44:10
  Yeah.
• 44:11
  It's a very safe place to be, for sure.
• 44:13
  I'd say a lot safer than the UK right now, because the cost of living in the UK is through the roof.
• 44:19
  You know, there's so much crime going on in the UK.
• 44:21
  Yeah.
• 44:22
  And I'm a little bit worried about going back.
• 44:24
  I went back for Christmas in 2023.
• 44:26
  And, you know, I went back and someone just went into one of the shops,
• 44:30
  B&M, a bag, put loads of stuff in, walked straight out.
• 44:34
  And I said to the lady at the checkout, are you going to do anything?
• 44:36
  She's like, what can we do?
• 44:37
  Yeah.
• 44:38
  Yeah, it's a wild time.
• 44:39
  Is there anything that we haven't touched on that you would want someone who is considering not necessarily moving to Thailand,
• 44:45
  but considering a big change in their life that you would want them to know based off of your own experiences?
• 44:51
  I think, you know, life is about taking risks.
• 44:54
  It's about stepping out of your comfort zone.
• 44:56
  You don't want to get to 60 or 70 years old and regret not doing things.
• 45:01
  And whatever cultural background you're from, you know, you'll always feel like you're disappointing.
• 45:08
  You will.
• 45:09
  This is a culture where born and brought up in.
• 45:11
  But, you know, times are slowly changing now, like it'll be a lot more different from my niece, for example.
• 45:17
  But if you're at an age where you just like, I wish I could do this because I was very much like that.
• 45:22
  I wish I could travel, but I'm brown.
• 45:24
  I wish I could do this, but I'm Indian Indian girls don't do this sort of thing.
• 45:27
  Right.
• 45:28
  I just want people to know that regardless of what ethnicity you are, cultural background, you know,
• 45:36
  anything is possible.
• 45:37
  You've just got to take that risk.
• 45:39
  You've got to, we live on life.
• 45:41
  And, you know, it's very cliché to say that.
• 45:44
  And you don't want to get to, you know, in your 90s and look back on life and go, I should have done this or have any regrets in life.
• 45:51
  Because now, touch wood.
• 45:53
  I'm, I'm happy I've done all these things.
• 45:55
  And, you know, if I get to 50, 60, 70, don't get me wrong.
• 45:58
  There's so much more I want to do.
• 46:00
  You know, I want to have kids.
• 46:02
  I want to do what you're doing.
• 46:03
  You know, have your daughters and travel and do things and experience great things with your children.
• 46:09
  I think that's, I think it's great what you're doing.
• 46:11
  I think it's really, really lovely.
• 46:13
  And I just think, you know, even if you are married with kids, you can pick up and go and move to different countries.
• 46:19
  You know, I've got a lot of friends that have moved their families to Dubai.
• 46:22
  And, you know, for a better life or more sunshine, you know, safer countries as well, you know, more activities for children.
• 46:29
  So I just think don't, if you've got, if there's something in life you want to do, take the risk.
• 46:35
  If it scares the hell out of you, doesn't matter.
• 46:38
  It all it'll do is make you stronger.
• 46:40
  Get up, get out, explore the world and do and see some incredible things.
• 46:45
  Amazing.
• 46:46
  Thank you very much.
• 46:47
  Thank you.
• 46:48
  Thank you.
• 46:49
  I think your story is super inspiring.
• 46:50
  Thank you so much.
• 46:51
  And I think that it's lovely to be able to respect where you come from and also appreciate that you still want to build and extend beyond those boundaries.
• 46:57
  Absolutely.
• 46:58
  I'll always respect my culture and how I've been born and brought up.
• 47:01
  Don't get me wrong when I was younger.
• 47:03
  I hated being Indian.
• 47:04
  I hated it because I hated being the different one.
• 47:07
  Okay.
• 47:08
  I hated primary school.
• 47:09
  You know, I wanted to be like the other girls.
• 47:11
  I wanted my hair cut.
• 47:12
  I wasn't allowed my hair cut.
• 47:13
  Okay.
• 47:14
  Because of my culture growing up, I'm sick.
• 47:17
  So my dad wears a turban.
• 47:18
  My hair was down here.
• 47:19
  Right.
• 47:20
  And I remember telling my friend, I put chewing gum in my hair once because I thought my mum would have to cut my hair.
• 47:25
  And she didn't.
• 47:26
  She sat there and brushed it out.
• 47:27
  It was very painful.
• 47:28
  And I really regret doing that.
• 47:30
  I wanted to burn my hair.
• 47:31
  I just, I wanted to put it in.
• 47:33
  I wanted to be like all the other girls.
• 47:35
  Yeah.
• 47:36
  I hated my brown skin.
• 47:37
  I hated my arm and shape eyes.
• 47:38
  I hated everything about myself.
• 47:40
  When did you realise you were beautiful?
• 47:42
  When, I say, when I got my confidence when I lived in Australia.
• 47:47
  And I was like, I'm different.
• 47:49
  Yeah.
• 47:50
  All these girls are on the beach tanning because they want to be bloody brown.
• 47:52
  Yeah.
• 47:53
  I'm born this colour.
• 47:54
  I'm so lucky.
• 47:55
  You know, and actually, even at university, I went to university and I had a lot, it was a massive culture shock for me because, you know, so many Indians.
• 48:04
  I was like, Bloody hell, I've never been surrounded by so many Indians.
• 48:07
  But I just wish now I could give the younger me a hug and say all these things that you hated about yourself.
• 48:13
  You were going to love when you get older.
• 48:15
  That's amazing.
• 48:16
  And do you think all having grown up and been othered that helped living and being the foreigner in other people's countries easier because you weren't used to finding your own like small circle and 15.
• 48:30
  You mean moving to other countries?
• 48:32
  Yeah. So I think sometimes when people are in their comfort zone and they feel like they completely belong, that is going to be another barrier that's going to stop them from going out of that comfort zone.
• 48:41
  But it sounds like when you're growing up because you wanted to be like people anyway and you weren't necessarily in love with the things that made you different.
• 48:49
  I'm wondering if the younger you was actually prepared to be the adult version living where you are also the other.
• 48:56
  You're not tired, right?
• 48:57
  You're not Australian.
• 48:58
  That's it.
• 48:59
  Yeah.
• 49:00
  So obviously coming to a country where you know English isn't your first language is you know first it was a bit of a challenge.
• 49:09
  And you know I really want to learn Thai now because I think you know what they make so much efforts to try speak English and try to make you fit in and feel welcome in their country.
• 49:17
  Sure.
• 49:18
  And you know learning Thai and you know trying to just show in them the respect as well.
• 49:25
  I think it's really interesting how the things that when we're younger become like our armor.
• 49:30
  And when we're younger, we just don't know.
• 49:31
  I just hate my name.
• 49:32
  It's like it's a month.
• 49:33
  It's an actual month.
• 49:34
  And no, I'm just like, oh no, who's that girl?
• 49:37
  I love that.
• 49:38
  I love that.
• 49:39
  But yeah.