Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Why Most People Don’t Realize They’re Stuck (S5) S16:E1

Transcript

Why Most People Don’t Realize They’re Stuck (S5) S16:E1 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well, hey, guys, and welcome to Inspirations for
0:28
Your Life.
0:29
It is so great to be with you
0:31
this evening.
0:32
It is a wonderful night.
0:36
This is Saturday, April, yes, 11th, 2026, and
0:42
that means that we are on a brand
0:43
new master topic.
0:45
That's what that means today, guys.
0:46
We're on a brand new master topic.
0:48
So if you've never been here before, I
0:51
want to take the opportunity to say welcome
0:53
and thanks so much for popping in.
0:54
If you've been here once or many times
0:56
before, well, feel free to definitely come back
1:00
many times, but I want to say thank
1:02
you and, of course, welcome back.
1:04
It always is great to have you here,
1:07
and yeah, it's so great.
1:10
And so I do want to invite you
1:11
to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com for more of
1:14
my, of You can check that out after
1:18
the show is over, short-form content, long
1:21
-form content, articles, reels, and so much more.
1:23
And I am really excited, guys, because, well,
1:28
a week from yesterday, which was the 10th,
1:33
my brand new book will be announced.
1:35
I'm not sharing the title yet, and the
1:37
dedication will be done to my parents with
1:39
a little brief interview.
1:40
It's probably about a 20, 28-minute show.
1:44
It'll be in the Inspirations for Your Life
1:46
feed because it's part of that whole thing,
1:48
the motivation track.
1:49
So that's kind of what's going on there.
1:51
So it is really great to have you
1:52
here.
1:53
But without any further ado, let's go ahead
1:55
and kick this show off.
1:57
This is Inspirations for Your Life.
1:59
It is Saturday, and again, like I said,
2:02
we have another amazing show just for you.
2:05
So today's granular is why most people don't
2:10
realize they're stuck, okay?
2:13
And I should tell you what the master
2:16
topic is.
2:17
The master topic is a good one for
2:19
this week.
2:20
They're always good.
2:21
How people quietly change direction without realizing it
2:25
is a show, series five, show 16, episode
2:28
number one, yeah.
2:31
So as I said, the master topic is
2:33
how people actually change their direction without realizing
2:36
that they're doing it.
2:38
So how people quietly change direction is not
2:41
about motivation.
2:42
It's about patterns, exposure, pressure, and what they
2:47
repeat every single day.
2:49
Hey, kind of like what my book's going
2:50
to be about.
2:50
I don't want to let the cat out
2:52
of the bag there.
2:52
But I'm John Seymour.
2:55
In case you didn't know, I'm a serial
2:56
entrepreneur.
2:57
I'm an engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, podcast
3:00
host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student, and a
3:04
passionate lifelong learner.
3:07
And soon, as of less than a week
3:09
from basically, well, today, but a week from
3:12
yesterday, I will be a published author, and
3:14
I'm really excited about that.
3:15
So I'm breaking down something most people will
3:19
never, ever see.
3:21
They don't feel stuck in their lives.
3:23
They feel normal.
3:25
And that's exactly why nothing changes in their
3:29
lives.
3:30
They're constantly clinging to, this is the way
3:33
it should be.
3:34
Because what feels familiar often isn't growth.
3:38
And when we're too comfortable, guys, you know
3:39
what happens?
3:40
We actually don't move forward.
3:42
Sometimes we even go backwards.
3:44
It's repetition, and repetition over time becomes your
3:48
reality.
3:49
I think that's an important thing for us
3:50
to understand.
3:50
So number one, guys, most people don't feel
3:54
stuck.
3:56
They feel normal.
3:58
Because repetition disguises stagnation.
4:01
And you know, there was a lady today
4:03
that reached out on LinkedIn, I think it
4:05
was yesterday.
4:06
And she reached out about something, you know,
4:08
trying to get me to join her coaching
4:10
program or something.
4:11
And I messaged back to her, and I
4:14
said, I really appreciate you taking the time
4:16
to consider me.
4:18
And I don't know if you know, but
4:19
I'm about to become a public author next
4:21
week on a very interesting inspirational topic about
4:26
a true story.
4:28
And it's funny, because she didn't even have
4:32
any interest.
4:33
She was just trying to pitch me her
4:34
program.
4:35
That just so blew the bell, guys.
4:38
Number two, familiar patterns hide stagnation.
4:42
What repeats becomes invisible over time.
4:46
And then we're not aware of it anymore.
4:48
Number three, routine masks lack of progress.
4:52
Movement does not always equal improvement.
4:55
I've got to tell you that right up
4:56
front.
4:57
People think being busy means you're successful.
5:00
Just means you're busy.
5:01
Doesn't mean you're really successful.
5:04
Number four, comfort removes urgency.
5:09
When nothing feels wrong, nothing gets questioned.
5:13
Yeah.
5:15
I know that's a hard one for a
5:17
lot of people to, I'm going to say,
5:19
sink their teeth into.
5:20
That's a very, very hard one to basically
5:24
to digest.
5:25
But I want to let you know that
5:27
it's important to understand it.
5:30
Very important.
5:31
Number five, repetition creates false stability.
5:36
Consistency without progress is still stagnation.
5:39
No matter how we slice it, it's still
5:41
stagnation.
5:42
Number six, guys, you don't question what feels
5:46
standard.
5:47
Normal becomes unquestioned truth.
5:51
But you know, when we think about the
5:53
word normal, I want to jump over to
5:57
Webster, Merriam-Webster.
5:59
And I want to just give you a
6:01
definition of the word normal.
6:03
Because normal has gotten some, well, bad connotations,
6:06
unfortunately.
6:07
Normal is an adjective.
6:09
And according to Merriam-Webster, conforming to a
6:13
type, standard, or regular pattern characterized by that
6:17
which is considered usual, typical, routine, like morning
6:22
working hours, climate changes, respect, right?
6:31
So I think a lot of people will
6:38
refrain from the word normal.
6:40
Because when we think about the word normal,
6:45
it actually alienates certain people.
6:48
So if you're not normal, then, well, you're
6:51
being alienated.
6:52
And that's really terrible.
6:54
Number seven, guys, small loops become long-term
6:59
cycles.
7:00
Tiny habits scale into long-term direction.
7:05
That's another important one.
7:07
So when we can understand that our subconscious
7:10
runs our mind and body, and it takes
7:15
us down all these pathways that we didn't
7:17
even know existed, and we don't even know
7:20
how we got there, all we know is
7:21
that we're getting there.
7:23
And it's because of a subconscious program in
7:25
our head.
7:25
And sometimes these programs are not helpful to
7:28
us.
7:28
They're harmful.
7:29
And they block us from our true success.
7:32
Number eight, guys, people normalize slow decline.
7:35
Gradual change is hard to detect in real
7:38
time.
7:39
It is.
7:41
But when it happens very quickly, people suddenly
7:46
panic.
7:48
Number nine, guys, nothing feels wrong until something
7:52
breaks.
7:53
Disruption is often the first signal.
7:58
I want to let you guys know something
7:59
interesting about the book that's coming out next
8:03
week, which is April.
8:07
Yeah, that's going to be April 17th.
8:10
It's going to be a pretty interesting time.
8:11
So the book is 14 chapters.
8:17
It's 136 pages.
8:19
It is a hardcover book.
8:22
The inside is white pages with black type.
8:27
And it has some graphics.
8:32
They're all black and white graphics.
8:33
But they hit home, these graphics.
8:36
And then there are three appendices, all with
8:39
some different techniques.
8:40
One is even my blueprint for success.
8:41
So definitely something you're going to want to
8:43
check out.
8:44
It's going to be available in three forms,
8:45
hardcover book.
8:46
It'll be available in also Audible, if you
8:51
want to listen to it on the road
8:54
or what have you.
8:55
And of course, the Kindle version.
8:58
So if you're wondering where this is, it's
9:01
going to be on BelieveMeAchieve.com right after
9:04
the dedication.
9:05
Now, if you're wondering, how do I watch
9:07
the dedication?
9:08
That's a great question.
9:09
You go to BelieveMeAchieve.com on Friday.
9:13
And there will be a link up there
9:14
to watch the dedication.
9:17
And it'll even say, I think it'll say
9:19
something like, watch the dedication live and find
9:26
out the new title to my book.
9:27
Because I haven't been sharing the title.
9:29
Nobody really knows, except for my staff and
9:31
my parents.
9:33
Number 10, guys.
9:35
Awareness is the first disruption.
9:37
My whole book is about awareness.
9:39
And there's some very subtle things that I
9:42
talk about, including the fact that I broke
9:45
my tip and fib 14 years ago and
9:47
what that meant to me and how that
9:48
changed my life.
9:50
Noticing the pattern is where change begins.
9:54
So a lot of times, we're doing things
9:56
because we're stuck in a rut.
9:58
We're stuck in a pattern.
9:59
And we don't question it because it just
10:01
feels what?
10:03
Comfortable.
10:04
And when something is comfortable, we don't question
10:06
it.
10:07
We just move along.
10:10
Some dictatorships or some companies, when you question
10:14
something, you're considered abnormal because now you have
10:19
a mind and you're thinking.
10:22
And a lot of those companies don't like
10:23
that.
10:24
Number 11, guys.
10:25
Patterns run in the background.
10:28
Most behavior is automatic, atomic.
10:31
It's not intentional.
10:33
And then when you go down a path,
10:34
you're like, well, how did I get there?
10:37
It's because you were on this thing.
10:39
Autonomous pattern track.
10:41
Number 12, guys.
10:42
Most habits go unnoticed.
10:45
Repetition removes awareness.
10:49
That's pretty cool, guys.
10:51
So when we keep repeating something over and
10:55
over and over and over, we're no longer
10:59
present for that.
11:06
And that's an important thing.
11:09
Number 13, guys.
11:12
Time hides inefficiency.
11:14
The longer something runs, the harder it is
11:18
to question.
11:19
Let me see if I can give you
11:20
an example.
11:21
So for a long time, we had these
11:23
traffic lights that were taking pictures of people
11:26
that were going through the lights.
11:27
So they were running for a long time
11:29
and they weren't being questioned.
11:30
But then somebody decided to let the cat
11:34
out of the bag or to challenge democracy
11:37
and what was going on.
11:40
And then they found the cameras to be
11:41
basically unconstitutional in many states.
11:45
See, the way it worked was the cameras
11:46
were installed by a third party company.
11:49
The town had borrowed and had to pay
11:50
one dime.
11:51
And then there was a split.
11:53
I don't know if it was 60-40,
11:54
but it was something nice.
11:55
And the town basically got a high percentage.
11:58
And then the camera company got the other
12:00
percentage.
12:00
And that's why there was no cost to
12:02
install these systems.
12:04
Pretty sneaky, right?
12:05
And it went on for a while.
12:07
But then when people were getting called to
12:10
court and they're like, why wasn't even the
12:12
car?
12:13
There was no way to really prove that
12:16
that person was really driving.
12:17
It was very hard.
12:19
So that got kicked out.
12:21
Number 14, guys, and I think this is
12:23
something that a lot of people, when I
12:26
mention it, are gonna be like, oh, wow,
12:27
this is kind of interesting.
12:28
And then you're gonna say to me, John,
12:29
you're like, why?
12:32
And the why, what I say is you're
12:34
gonna be like, oh, wow.
12:35
So stability can be an illusion, okay?
12:43
Predictability does not mean productive.
12:51
When we follow a certain course of action
12:54
or steps or an algorithm and we have
12:59
not gotten results of the past, it's very
13:07
improbable that we're gonna get results in the
13:08
future, unless that system has been tested.
13:11
Now, you have to test it for a
13:13
while to see, right?
13:13
Because there's a certain timeframe.
13:18
But just being productive does not mean we
13:23
are successful.
13:24
A lot of people think, oh, I'm so
13:25
busy.
13:27
Great, but are you profitable?
13:31
Oh, well, you know, eventually I will be.
13:35
Not today, but eventually I will be.
13:37
No.
13:39
Number 15, you adapt to environments quickly.
13:44
Surrounding shape behavior faster than intention.
13:49
Let's think about that for a moment.
13:51
So if you're an environment that is giving
13:54
off negative energy, that could be the environment,
13:56
that could be the people, et cetera.
13:58
When that happens, you most likely will shut
14:03
down or go into defense mode or leave
14:07
the situation.
14:11
But environments create, create positivity or negativity.
14:19
So the environment shapes us.
14:24
People are the environment.
14:26
So yes, the people have a big factor
14:28
on it, but it's not just the people.
14:31
It's places, things, objects.
14:37
Really important.
14:39
Number 16, predictability feels safe, but safety often
14:46
limits growth.
14:50
I said to you that success doesn't lie
14:53
where we are comfortable.
14:56
It starts to rear its head when we
14:59
get uncomfortable.
15:00
When I didn't say in pain, I said
15:02
uncomfortable.
15:03
So predictability feels, and I think most people
15:08
would rather be safe than grow because they
15:10
don't want to lose anything.
15:11
It's kind of like a gamble.
15:13
Number 17, safe doesn't equal or always mean
15:18
forward.
15:20
Comfort can hold you in place.
15:21
As I said, it can also push you
15:24
back.
15:27
People say, well, gee, if I'm safe, then
15:29
no one's going to harm me.
15:32
Yeah, but you're also not going to make
15:33
any progress either.
15:35
Number 18, lack of friction hides issues.
15:40
Without resistance, problems stay hidden.
15:44
I remember somebody saying to me a long
15:47
time ago, maybe a few years ago, that
15:54
they were sorry about something we had, a
15:56
little bit of a disagreement.
15:57
I would say it's okay to agree to
15:58
disagree.
15:59
And what they told me is, John, you
16:01
know, when you are decisive, when you are
16:06
passionate about what you're doing, and there's a
16:09
little bit of a challenge back and forth,
16:11
some people like that because that's a respect
16:14
for what you stand for.
16:15
You can still defend something and not be
16:18
rude.
16:20
You could always agree to disagree.
16:23
Number 19, change feels unnecessary until forced.
16:28
Pressure often triggers awareness.
16:33
Pressure can be something you have to do,
16:37
something somebody has to do for you, but
16:39
that connection forces us to go into awareness
16:43
mode.
16:46
I have a lot of questions in my
16:47
book about awareness, but I do want to
16:48
ask you one thing.
16:50
When's the last time that you asked yourself,
16:56
am I really aware and present?
17:00
I bet the answer is probably never because
17:02
most people don't know that your awareness is
17:06
that missing link to your success.
17:09
Your awareness allows you to change the programs
17:13
that are running subconsciously in your mind.
17:16
Number 20, guys, most people drift, not deciding.
17:24
Direction is often passive.
17:27
A lot of people like passive, you know
17:28
why?
17:29
Because they don't have to do anything crazy.
17:33
They can just sit and really there's not
17:37
much that can happen to them.
17:39
Number 21, drift oftentimes gets confused and feels
17:44
like progress.
17:45
Movement can be misleading.
17:47
Just because we moved around doesn't mean we
17:50
are successful, doesn't mean we're even gonna be
17:52
successful.
17:54
So don't get boxed in or I should
17:59
say in belief that a drift is gonna
18:04
bring you success because it's usually not.
18:08
A drift is something that's not in alignment
18:11
with your core values, which is basically your
18:13
inner wiring.
18:18
Number 22, guys, passive routines dominate behavior.
18:25
What you repeat, ladies and gentlemen, controls what
18:28
you become, thoughts, actions.
18:38
And when we do something once and when
18:39
we do it again, it's like easier.
18:42
And the third time, and then before you
18:43
know it, it's like, it's just happening.
18:45
I'm not even aware of it.
18:47
So when we can become aware of things,
18:49
we break the pattern.
18:50
It's a pattern interrupt.
18:52
I remember being at, I was at a
18:56
training and there's a person next to me
19:00
and he was constantly, oh, it was at
19:03
my clinical psychology training.
19:06
And I remember the person next to me
19:10
just kept going down this rabbit hole.
19:12
And I said, oh, this guy's really gonna
19:14
give the professor a hard time or this
19:16
doctor a hard time.
19:17
And so the doctor came up to him
19:20
on a break.
19:20
He was having a conversation.
19:21
So what do you think about this?
19:23
And he right away goes into this negative
19:27
thing.
19:27
Within a second, the gentleman, the doctor actually
19:32
had a water glass in his hand.
19:33
And he said something within, I'm gonna say
19:36
a fraction of what he was saying, that
19:38
he takes the water glass and throws the
19:40
water at his face.
19:44
And he comes back and he's like, the
19:47
guy, he's like, what'd you do that for?
19:50
What'd you do what?
19:52
You just threw water at me.
19:53
Oh, I did?
19:56
He said, well, where were you?
19:57
Well, I was talking about the fact that
20:00
every time I try to do this, I
20:01
can never, and he throws the water at
20:03
his face again.
20:03
He says, the guy goes, what the heck?
20:06
What's the matter?
20:08
You threw water at me again.
20:09
He goes, I did?
20:11
Yeah, you just only have half the water
20:13
in your glass.
20:14
So then he goes down the path one
20:15
more time.
20:16
He said, so what are we talking about?
20:18
Well, we were talking about this thing that
20:20
I'm doing.
20:21
And every time I try to do it,
20:23
it never works out because nothing, and he
20:28
throws water at me again.
20:32
And so he said, continue.
20:37
And he's talking.
20:39
And now he's afraid to talk because he
20:41
doesn't know what's gonna happen.
20:42
The guy's still got water in his glass.
20:47
And he continues the conversation.
20:48
He goes, you know, I normally would wanna
20:53
do that, but he goes, yeah, I haven't.
20:58
He didn't say anything negative this time.
21:01
And he responds, he says, well, that's interesting.
21:03
He said, that's a good step in the
21:05
right direction.
21:07
And later on, after he broke the pattern,
21:11
the doctor says, do you know why I
21:12
did that?
21:14
You mean throw water in my face?
21:16
Yeah, he says, we'll learn about that in
21:17
the next chapter.
21:18
He says, that's an advanced technique.
21:20
He goes, a what?
21:22
It's a technique.
21:23
It doesn't have to be water, it can
21:24
be anything.
21:24
He says, I broke your pattern.
21:26
So now you don't wanna talk about that
21:29
negative thing.
21:29
So, you know, I don't wanna be, right.
21:30
You don't wanna get water in your face.
21:34
And he's just like, crazy guy.
21:37
But it ended his negativity for that day.
21:41
I remember later on the next day, we
21:43
had another training and he came back in
21:45
the room and he's talking to somebody.
21:48
And he's telling them about the negative situation
21:54
that he's in.
21:56
And right then and there, the doctor's walking
21:59
by, the student doesn't really get this, the
22:02
other student, and he takes the water glass.
22:04
He goes, what the heck?
22:06
He's like, you haven't learned yet, have you?
22:11
Learn what?
22:13
I'm gonna keep doing that.
22:16
Keep doing what?
22:17
I'm gonna keep throwing water at you.
22:20
He goes, you're nuts.
22:22
Eventually it'll sink in, won't it?
22:25
And it started to.
22:27
By the third day, he wasn't saying anything
22:31
negative anymore.
22:32
So when we can pattern interrupt somebody, it
22:35
could be water, it could be, you know,
22:39
tapping them, whatever it is.
22:42
I did a pattern interrupt with somebody when
22:43
we were at a meeting and they kept
22:46
doing something.
22:47
So as soon as they did that, I
22:48
yanked the tablecloth out.
22:52
People were like in awe.
22:53
They're like, what'd you just do?
22:57
I do think, you just yanked the tablecloth.
23:00
Oh, I did?
23:02
And the other guy was so like put
23:06
out.
23:07
Not only did it interrupt his pattern, he
23:10
didn't even know what he was talking about
23:12
anymore.
23:14
So that was kind of neat.
23:16
Number 23, guys, people don't audit their systems.
23:20
They think they're flawless, but they're not.
23:22
Patterns continue without review.
23:24
And when they continue without review, we just
23:26
go down the rabbit hole and become worse.
23:30
Number 24, what repeats feels right.
23:35
Familiarity creates false validation.
23:38
And when we keep doing it, it seems
23:41
easy.
23:42
It's not uncomfortable.
23:43
We keep doing it again and again and
23:46
again and again, because it's comfortable.
23:53
So you gotta have somebody that's gonna pattern
23:55
interrupt you.
23:58
Number 25, guys, slow patterns are hard to
24:03
detect.
24:04
Gradual cycles avoid attention.
24:07
So if something is moving very slowly and
24:10
it's changing its properties or changing what it's
24:15
doing, but it's doing it very slowly, that's
24:19
gonna catch a lot of people's attention.
24:22
It won't.
24:22
But if we did it quickly, that's gonna
24:27
send off a lot of red flags.
24:29
Number 26, nothing changes without interruption.
24:33
Patterns must be broken to shift.
24:39
So I didn't tell you what happened on
24:40
the fourth day.
24:42
So on the fourth day, it was almost
24:45
like he had this meeting before Joe showed
24:48
up.
24:48
So Joe always comes to class late.
24:51
And this was a seminar in the hotel.
24:53
And there was like 100 people there or
24:56
whatever.
24:57
And he was telling a story about pattern
25:00
interrupt and how, and he also said, in
25:02
order to make this work better, what I
25:03
want you to do is if you're ever
25:05
around him, since he's here late, this is
25:07
payback for him.
25:08
If you're ever around him and he starts
25:10
talking down negative or negative, I want you
25:12
to just take your drink and just throw
25:14
it at him.
25:14
Or just tap, whatever, but just throw the
25:18
drink at him.
25:18
That's probably the easiest thing.
25:20
And so that day at lunch, he happened
25:24
to come in about 11 o'clock.
25:26
Now, everyone in the room knew this.
25:29
He figured he was safe as long as
25:31
he wasn't around the doctor.
25:34
Well, let me just tell you something.
25:36
By the end of that lunchtime, I think
25:38
he must've got water thrown at him at
25:40
least 12 or 14 times.
25:42
The good news is he doesn't talk negatively
25:46
to himself anymore.
25:50
That was pretty powerful.
25:53
Number 27, guys, stuck rarely feels obvious.
25:58
It blends into routine.
26:01
And when that happens, it's not easy to
26:05
detect.
26:06
It's camouflaged.
26:07
You know, like the army, the military, you
26:10
know, they go in the shrubs and they
26:11
have their green outfits on, so they blend
26:14
in.
26:15
Number 28, guys, comfort delays correction.
26:24
Ease prevents evaluation.
26:26
Number 29, patterns persist until they're challenged.
26:30
Change requires disruption, any kind of change.
26:35
Number 30, awareness breaks the loop.
26:39
Once you see it, you can change it
26:43
because now you're aware of it.
26:45
Here's the shift.
26:47
You don't need more motivation.
26:51
You need more awareness because the biggest reason
26:56
people stay stuck is not because they can't
26:59
move.
27:00
It's because they don't realize they haven't been
27:05
moving at all.
27:07
The movement you start noticing and getting the
27:11
understanding of what repeats, you start seeing what
27:13
controls your direction.
27:16
And once you see it, you can interrupt
27:20
it.
27:21
You can change it.
27:22
You can move forward with intention instead of
27:26
drifting by default because ladies and gentlemen, real
27:30
change doesn't start with a big decision.
27:33
It starts with noticing the pattern you've been
27:35
living inside.
27:37
For more insights and deeper breakdowns, please visit
27:41
BelieveMeAchieved.com.
27:44
Your next level starts with what you notice.
27:49
So ladies and gentlemen, start becoming aware and
27:52
noticing everything in your life.
27:54
Even journal it and you might just see
27:58
that your old patterns won't be there anymore.
28:00
Have a great one everyone, be well.