Latest / Life Rescue with Lisa Dwoskin / Life After Tragedy: How Your Mindset Affects Your Growth/ Life Rescue
Transcript
- Lisa Dwoskin: Hey guys, welcome back to Life Rescue Podcast. I'm so excited to be here again. And I have an amazing guest, Stan. I'm just gonna say Stan. I was gonna butcher his last name. But anyways, Stan is an amazing man, and that rhymes, right? I love that. He has been through major trials and tri tribulations. And I was going to name this show a different title about how life could break you but it won't defeat you. And he brought up a better title about how the proper mindset can get you through anything that you go through in life. And I want him to just start talking about all of the trials and tribulations he's been through, how he went through them. And how he came out the other side. I'm sure you're still on a journey of transformation. But I want Stan to be a voice for all of you who join my show all the time and know that we're all about rescuing people's lives and making it through this crazy roller coaster of life and how people who can encounter so much tragedy and trials and tribulation. still keep going and actually come out stronger sometimes on the other side. So Stan, thank you so much for joining and I want you to start sharing your story a little bit. Let's maybe start with your daughter. Yeah, my pleasure. I'm I'm I'm I'm grateful that you you invited me. Good, thank you. So let's talk a little bit about would you say your daughter's tragedy was the first major tragedy and then everything else snowballed after that or what? Yeah, I ⁓ what's what's really extraordinary is I lived a relatively charmed life in in the sense that I did not I had not experienced any abuse or tragedies. I didn't I didn't know what depression was. I didn't know what anxiety was, you know, as far as how it affected people. ⁓ until that that experience. ⁓ I had a pr an experience prior to that, ⁓ where I burned twenty five percent of my upper body. ⁓ that's a whole nother story, but fortunately I'm not tragically scarred. But that experience in and of itself was the first real experience of Like, ⁓ wow, you know, one minute everything is going fantastic, the next minute it's not. And and ⁓ and it was it was took me about a year to heal. And then, you know, but I healed and we went through I went through it. ⁓ and then two years later was when ⁓ I experienced, you know, my daughter dying in my hands. Yeah, I can't even imagine that I read I read everything that you had sent me about the story and that unknown and uncertainty and it was such a long, drawn out process of not knowing what was wrong with her and I and my heart goes out to you. I mean I can't even imagine as a parent going through that. I I just can't even imagine getting through that. How? How did you do that? I I and I can understand that. You know, there's there was a thing I saw years ago that you know, ⁓ on a actually like on a on a on a meme says you never really know what you can you can deal with until you have no choice. and and how you deal with it is a series of choices. You know, ⁓ that ⁓ I remember ⁓ give me second here. ⁓ it's been it's been over twenty years and I still I still cope with it. ⁓ I don't deal with it, I cope with it, I live with it. I don't deny it, I don't ⁓ I don't make excuses for it, I don't you know what I mean? I don't seek out ⁓ exterior influences to c I it's it's it's intrinsic, you know, it's a mindset. So I remember when The day that we were to, you know, unplug the life support, something inside me ⁓ came to a realization that ⁓ Today's the first day of the rest of the And like it was that was a really heavy thing. ⁓ because I didn't know how that life was gonna be, you know. ⁓ but I knew with that in my head from that moment on how I respond to it was gonna dictate the rest of my life. ⁓ so I could have chosen to be bitter, to be a victim. ⁓ or I could chose to be better and I chose better. Because I know from watching others who have gone through not similar but just their own tragedies, their own you know tribulations and they could not get out of the victim mindset or the why me mindset or you know, damn you know, whatever spiritual belief they have because this is an What you know, God doesn't do this or whatever they believe in. ⁓ I did not I I've seen people do that and I seen how it affected their lives even that much more negatively. And I believe in angels, spirit guides. And when it comes to technology, that's where they appear. So what do you think about that? Yeah, that's wild. ⁓ because I I I I she's always there and it's not like ⁓ like it it's four four four. You know, I I didn't I honestly it it took me a couple of years to realize what that actually meant in my life. ⁓ her her ⁓ T O D time of death was f four forty four. ⁓ And ⁓ for subsequently after that I I would see four four four and it just didn't I f didn't understand why, but almost daily I see that number, license plate, ⁓ you know, time, ⁓ enemy ⁓ almost everywhere I see that number and then I come to find out that after doing a little bit of research a few years back, that ⁓ that number signifies an angel looking over you. And it's ⁓ and in telling you that ⁓ it's an indicator that you're on the right path. ⁓ you know, you're you're being you're being looked after, you know, by a by a significant angel. ⁓ which, you know, I truly strongly believe ⁓ is my daughter. ⁓ because ⁓ you know the crazy thing about that is in my younger years before she was born. ⁓ I wanted to get away from some friends, people that were not healthy for me. And ⁓ and at the time I was dating her mother and I had never read the Bible. I and I didn't have any idea. In fact my my friend's mother had given me a Bible, ⁓ and I just started reading it like a book, like a once upon a time book, just from start page one. I mean that's how ignorant, you know, I I had no idea. But I knew in my heart of hearts I I needed some kind of sign. I needed some kind of something, you know. and I think maybe a month or two later, my daughter was conceived on my birthday. ⁓ and I know it's my birthday because ⁓ you know, she was born almost to the day nine months later. and this is your other daughter or that the daughter? No, this is Sam. This is this is my my late daughter. And so with that, you know, that is what, you know, her birth was was the was the linchpin that got me to get away from a certain, you know, a certain group of people that I you know what I mean, like like, hey, listen, I can't hang out. I I have a family now, man. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah. ⁓ and so so yeah, so she's she's been a a ⁓ of a big force in my life. I mean, I know, you know, everybody, ⁓ my kid, my angel. No, this this kid truly remarkably is an angel. ⁓ well and if you read what you sent me, and I I want you to tell people how they can go and and read what you sent me with all the chapters about the angels and her. How can people find that before we start talking about that? So okay, so the story it's a pulser and Prize nominated story that was written subsequently after her death. You can find it on Google. It's called Tea Parties with Angels. ⁓ it's amazing about angels. And I know we'll talk a little bit about it, but I'm telling you, Stan, she definitely was giving us a sign that she's here. And there goes the chills everywhere, which is truth from spirit, that she's here with you. And want you to know you're on the right path because your voice is going to help other people heal. And from what I read about that tea party little story, she was all about the angels. She heard from the angels. She talked to the angels. She told you all about the angels. She's with the angels and she is an angel. I love that. And and she and sh it wasn't she wasn't raised in a in a religious house either. know, this is something that is intrinsic ⁓ in her. This is, you know, ⁓ yeah, it's it's it's remarkable. That's what I think what makes it even more ⁓ remarkable. It's like also with with with you know disseminating the story and and my experience, it's ⁓ and not to be rhyme scheming, but I it's it it also makes my pain not be in vain. You know? and and so yeah, she she ⁓ and it started when she was a toddler, like three years old. She would have she would have little tea parties in her closet, pitch black, no light. Wow. and it it it it unsettled my my wife at the time for me, and I'm mind you, you know, I was a twenty two year old young man. You know, I you know, I playing in a rock band. you know, and having a good old time and having a family and playing house. So I you know, it it to me it was okay, I guess it's something that, you know, imaginary friends, you know, like what you know, toddlers do. But no, these these imaginary friends had a backstory, which, you know, was pretty remarkable. ⁓ and on any given day you would hear her, you know, chatting with with her friends You know, in the closet. In a pitch black closet. She had a little table set up and and these little teapots that my that were antique teapots that were my great grandma or that my ⁓ my grandmother's, ⁓ that my mom had given her the kids to play with. And ⁓ I remember one day, you know, I'm like I was invited. This this, you know, Sam said, you know, come in you can come in down, you know, and I sat down in the little chair and ⁓ you know in the in the dark. We shut she shut the door and we're in the dark and you know, I'm underneath all these clothes. and there was this story, you know, she'd say hi to Sarah and this is Noelle and I'm like, Hi Sarah and Noel now mind you, I'm I'm I'm not putting two and two together. These are imaginary friends. ⁓ but come to find out that Noel was an angel, a garden angel, ⁓ to this other spirit named Sarah, who had ⁓ drowned when she was like five, I believe. Wow and they would come ⁓ breathe. Long deep breaths. And that's good. It's beautiful that you're feeling helped you heal. Yeah, well, I mean, ⁓ I found it, you know, pretty remarkable. ⁓ they wouldn't I mean I couldn't hear, but they would, you know, speak to Sam. And Sam had mentioned that ⁓ they thought I was a nice man. ⁓ I read that. I love that. ⁓ but I never thought much of anything, you know, especially. But your wife did though. She always scared her. It it scared her. And not and and she grew up, you know, they her family went to church every Sunday. ⁓ so she had more knowledge of religion than I did. ⁓ not that I you know, not religious or anything, you know, 'cause Jesus is my savior. but but, you know, in those that time it that it wasn't like that. So but it scared her. And she had this unnerving, you know, premonition that Sam wasn't gonna last past her eleventh birthday. ⁓ I didn't know past the eleventh birthday. I knew she had the premi ⁓ wow. And I was eleven eleven, you know, is a very spiritual number. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. And so, you know, and I would you know, I would say, Hey, listen, no, don't worry about it. This kid's gonna be fine. And lo and behold, you know, ⁓ She died just two weeks prior to her twelfth birthday. That's unbelievable that we have that inner knowing. And you never understand why things like that happen. But let's for those of you who want to read the the tea house, ⁓ say that. Tea parties with angels. Tea parties with angels. Definitely go and check it out. We're not gonna tell you the whole story. But what we do wanna share is you Twenty five percent of your body got burned. Then you lost your daughter who was eleven years old. Then you went through more trials and tribulations, losing, I believe, a home, financial stress. All of these things. And I'm I think the relationship ended with you and her mom, right? Or are you still together? Yeah, no. ⁓ we're still really good friends. ⁓ that's good. Yeah, yeah. No, the we the there's the You know, I'd known her her mother since we were like ⁓ she was twelve, I was thirteen. ⁓ and she lived, you know, up the block from me. So we were we've been buddies most of our childhood. but yeah, I wanna ask you a couple of questions about her, but before we jump into her, how just like explain to people with a positive mindset. Or not positive mindset, whatever you want to say, a change mindset, ⁓ an awakened mindset, a higher consciousness mindset. How does life go on after not one, not two, not three, but multiple, multiple tragedies? How is it that you can keep ⁓ going on and other people can't? And how they can help themselves? I have a very acute understanding th ⁓ the idea that it's not what happens to you in life, it's how you respond to it and and how your mindset dictates your reality. You know, nothing can be more damaging, you know, than your own thoughts and nothing can be more ⁓ healing than your own thoughts. You know, so you know, your your your your mindset has ⁓ has a big is probably the biggest ⁓ contributor and how your how it affects your life, how you see life, how you go through life, how you govern yourself, and and in and you know, not necessarily in healing, 'cause you you can't really heal. You know, you don't forget this. I mean, I'm I'm talking to you now, it's been over twenty years and I'm getting choked up. Yeah. ⁓ and it's not and I could talk about this. I've talked about this, you know, a number of different times and I didn't get choked up. ⁓ but today I'm I'm getting choked up. ⁓ so it's one of those things. I don't I don't deny it. I don't ⁓ I don't ⁓ I I I learned to live with it, you know. it's like, you know, it's a mental strength. You know, I know some people are like, well, I just I don't get it. I I don't have it. I don't have that strength. How do you get the mental strength? Because it's it's not something you try out. Right. It's it's something you work on every single day. Every day from the minute you wake up to the minute you lay your head down and go to sleep. Yeah. Because you know what I mean? And and and it's and I have developed, you know, PTSD. I've developed ⁓ ADHD induced PTSD. ⁓ I for many years would wake up with fight or flight, you know, shell shock, you know, because again, prior to this experience, I had never experienced, you know, I've ex you know break ups and car accidents and you know, things like that, things that are, you know, tough, but nothing to this magnitude. ⁓ and it was like one day everything's going great, next day it is not. Just like that it can change. Just like that. And so ⁓ I think at that at the onset I I I had it I knew you know, we always have choices, and sometimes even not making a choice is the choice. ⁓ and I had those to I had the choice. I can be better or I can be bitter. ⁓ I've seen people who are bitter and they cannot get out of their own way and life continues to make it hard for them. Or they make it h really hard on themselves. Yeah. Whereas, you know, I chose to be better. And how I really, you know, I had no idea. You know, but again, I found that, you know, ⁓ it's something that I had to live every day, you know. So I my purpose was okay, my my pain's not gonna be in vain. I'm gonna transform my suffering into wisdom, which subsequently and effectively turned into strength. So now that I have I'm learning wisdom, I'm I was reading books. I I relied on on philosophies I was taught from my father and my mother, ⁓ watching other people. and that wisdom there is a there's a there's a phrase I saw many, many years ago and and it's ⁓ the the student says to the master, Master, I'm so Discouraged. I don't I don't know what to do. The master looks at him and says, encourage others. ⁓ I love that. That's so ⁓ there goes the chills again. I keep getting them. The angels, your angel is around me. But that is so true. You know, you follow me on Facebook. I'm all about giving. I live my life to give. And people say to me all the time, ⁓ Lisa, you're so lucky. You're fit. ⁓ you're so lucky, you're happy. I'm like, well, let me tell you something. No. I work my ass off. I work out every day. I eat healthy. It's a I struggle like everybody else. I wake up every morning and my mind I how I how I describe it to people, I have an angel on this shoulder and a devil on this one. And they're constantly like this. And and I always choose the angel. Not always, most of the time, but this little devil over here tries to hit this angel off the shoulder. And I use my strength to say, uh-uh, every day is a new day to be a better version of myself. And the more I could help others, not only does it make the world a better place, but it actually helps me become a better, healthier and happier person. Well, yeah, when well happiness, you know It's it's it's learning how to live with yourself. You know, and and you know the choices you make are gonna dictate your future. Right. With the understanding your future is spotless. Mm. Right? So so, you know, I ⁓ you just said something, I just kinda lost my train of thought with that 'cause I wanted to I wanted to explain. About giving back, about waking up. No, it was ⁓ The devil and the angel. I know. Yeah, so so so what a ⁓ what I found with a lot of people, ⁓ and myself in in in certain occasions, ⁓ the road less traveled is is seemingly the harder road, but ironically, it's the most healing and cathartic road. It's this it's really it's you know, because it builds your strength. You know, where whereas it's it's easy to it's it seems, okay, it seems easier to wallow in the mire of grief, ⁓ frustration, anger, and and and victimization, victimhood, you know, because you know many times pe victims victimize others, you know, whether it's it's you know, physical or mental or you know they they ⁓ make excuses as to why they have this you they have a a a bad behavior. ⁓ that's not to say that you're not allowed to have a bad mood. It's not to say you're you are allowed to feel how you feel. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to be frustrated you're allowed to be sad. However, you're not allowed to invasively push that upon others as their burden. So so to avoid that And it's not about, you know, I'm gonna wake up on a Wednesday, I'm gonna wake up on a Thursday and and I'm gonna choose to be happy. That you're just trying it out. Yeah you know, you're you're you're you're you know, you're dress rehearsing tragedy to g beat vulnerability to the punch. And that's that's that's that's never it's never it's not a stra it's not a good strategy. But what it is is what what the mindset that I have found again is that okay This is what's happened to me. And ⁓ I'm not gonna become necessarily the the the guru on the mountain. However, I've learned a lot about life, death, tragedy, pain, ⁓ sadness at at a level that that many can't imagine, but those that are listening to you maybe today, ⁓ have and they they either they know but they just can't figure it out for some reason. And trust me when I tell you, I I f I get it. I get it. because again like I with the PTSD and the ADHD, I would wake up with the fight or flight feeling, the anxiety and that's simply because I never, you know, once is there another shoe that's gonna drop? You know, is there another because this experience was like an anvil that fell out of the sky. So it's it's not any formula, so to speak, that I've adhered to. It it's it's a number of different things that I've I've either read or someone a stranger told me, you know, out of nowhere, sitting in a at a bar or a restaurant or wherever that made a little statement, you know, ⁓ Like for instance, my dad telling me, you know, it's not what happens to you that matters, it's it's how you you ⁓ respond to it. So you have to you have to ⁓ maintain an inner dialogue because your inner dialogue will tell you and will cause you to behave and think in certain ways that will either be healing or healthy or detrimental. For sure. And that and so your inner dialogue is by all means Paramount. And I love what you what you said about your father because we all have a voice and you sharing your voice today is definitely gonna help one, two, three, ten, a hundred, however many people. And if everyone could share their voice and their story, their tragedies, their triumphants, it would really help a lot of people. I love everything that you're saying. Now let's talk about two things and I don't want to run out of time before we cover ⁓ but the dogs. So you wrote something about dogs, but before I read it, I want you to share because you know I'm a dog lover, you're a dog lover. Most of the world is a dog love dog lovers. So how has the dogs therapy, love, unconditional love helped you in your life with your healing? Okay, so In in my my my journey through this life now that I live, ⁓ I I purposely attempt to make my thoughts as simple as possible, not to convolute them s with with the what ifs and the whys and the and this should be this and this should be that. So in that keeping it simple it allows me ⁓ allowed me or influenced me to look at things that were simple like a dog. Yeah dogs dogs are not complicated. They're they're they're not they can be they can be complicating but they're not complicated. They're very simple animals. And in training the dog witnessing my dog for instance, you know, you could be sitting with your dog, you go get the mail. You come back in the house. That dog is happy as a lark to see you. You're gone two minutes. Yeah. Right? How simple is that love? How simple is that enthusiasm? Yeah. And and with that, and I've always been kind of that way. I'm always an enthusiastic person and a an innately happy, joyful person, jovial. ⁓ it it kind of clicked. Where witnessing how a dog lives. the the love and the loyalty and and and it's resilience in a such a simple form, I I was like, you know, yeah. Every time my even with my my my girlfriends, my my my friends, my family, you know, I'm about as enthusiastic as a dog whenever I see them. Even if I haven't seen them, you know, i i if I just saw them a few minutes ago, hey man, how was that little trip? You know? Yeah, It's so so yeah, it's it that's That's kind of how that that idea transformed to what I I I wrote. Yeah, but you know, before I read that also, but you talk about a lot on your Facebook how I don't I don't think it was like a seizure that you had, but it was like a PTSD where the fight or flight mode that you get in that you start shaking or your body and then your dog helps heal you. Yes, so he was now you can say which is great 'cause he's a seventy five pound pit bull. and and and he's just a bundle of muscle and love. But I I had been, you know, dealing with anxiety attacks you know since ever since this my experience. and well, he was about a year old and I was going through one and he he dialed in. For whatever reason, and and I didn't understand it at first. I thought he just thought I was getting excited and he wanted to play. So I kind of sh I kind of shooed him off. I'm like, I can't do this, buddy, you can't do this. and and he just sat there staring at me as I'm trying to breathe through it, breathe through it, and I finally get out of it. And then it happened again, and he did the exact same thing, and something something just kind of click like okay, this is it. No, he he there's something here. So then I start reading on ⁓ PTSD dogs, service dogs. Yeah. And reading more about how dogs can, you know, tap in I already knew dou dogs can tap into your energy through leash. You know, you might think you're holding the leash in a certain way and it's just another Day, but that dog will tap into your energy through that leash. Yeah. Crazy enough as it is. They're very intuitive animals. So after I started researching more and learning more, I trained him to be my PTSD dog. So he has gotten me out of ⁓ some serious ⁓ anxiety attacks that had turned into panic attacks. Now, the crazy thing about this, the my my my trauma, my my pain, my grief is It's not my panic attacks don't necessarily happen through a trigger. I mean I could be sitting there watching a movie, not a big deal, nothing triggered me. I'm not even thinking about anything. That's another day in the p in in the life and all of a sudden I'm starting to get restless leg. My heart starts racing and it's just like so so the the the trauma is not only psychological, it's it's it's physiological. You know, so my my body's a responding and so 'cause it's never it it never was i the regulation is out of whack. ⁓ hence, you know, I did go I finally did seek some some therapy and and I went I did get on meds to help quiet the noise. Yeah. And there were low it was a low dose medical s ⁓ schedule. ⁓ and that did actually help tremendously. Now mind you, I didn't seek that out. So maybe twelve, fifteen years afterwards. You know? ⁓ But then because a a lot of people watching and especially men who feel they're weak if they get help or let me tell you something. ⁓ It it's it's medications, certain medic now mind you, it's it's ⁓ it's throwing a dart at a dartboard to see what works 'cause there are some medicines meds don't work for for don't don't work. They do certain things. And but when you find that that one cocktail, you know, whether it's just one one medication or two, ⁓ it works in the sense that like for instance, ⁓ you know, I I lived with constant anxiety and and but constant noise. And not not noise of me going, what if, what's wrong with me? It was just like I couldn't concentrate or or I'd be moody. And the meds help quiet that to where I can actually put the philosophies that I've learned, the philosophies that I was raised with, ⁓ actually ⁓ more effectively into practice. Cause now I don't have that simmering heavy anxiety. Yeah. You know, the meds have calmed the anxiety. They're not they're not looting me out, they're not making me feel any s kind of way. They're just quieting the noise. And I was on it for about a year and a half. and I started noticing that I'm not waking up with my butterflies in my stomach. ⁓ I'm not moody. ⁓ I'm I'm I'm more myself, I'm more put together, I'm more calm. and and to a point finally, you know, I talked to the shrink and I'm like, Hey, listen, maybe we can start weaning this off 'cause I think I have a handle on this. And we did. I have I have the meds for when I do get 'Cause I still do get the anxiety attacks. They're just nowhere near as prevalent as they used to be. So I I I know people have ⁓ a ⁓ a fear, disdain or distrust in you know, psychology and medications, or they feel like you said, you know, like there's nothing wrong with me, I can handle it. Right. Listen, man, I've been pinged in the head with a baseball bat twice. I've been burned alive, I've been through two windshields and countless fights on the streets of Miami. ⁓ it's not a weakness. It's a strength. Because I don't need to laugh, but you're funny about Miami. But no, it's not a weakness. And for those of you listening out there, we don't want you to suffer. I mean, people think that they need to suffer because they don't want to get on medication. They don't want to be a zombie. They don't want to numb themselves. And that's not what happens. So well the brain is an organ. If you have a blood disease or if you have, you know, you know, whatever it is that that that, you know, holistically just isn't hitting the mark. Right. You know, you take a medication for that for that, you know, ailment. And the brain is an organ. My my my experience completely rewired my brain chemistry. Yeah. You know. Be and it does that. If you talk to anybody with with severe PTSD, they will tell ya. And you talk to their family, they will tell ya, dude's not the same. Right. He's still there. He's not necessarily a shell of himself, but there's things that are just not the same. Wow, he got on a certain type of med and you know, it was touch and go in the beginning, but wow, he's really he's really he's really adjusted. And that's and that's what happened. The people around you, your family, your friends. Absolutely. Okay, we're gonna jump on two more things before we run out of time. I wanna read real quick about the dogs, what you wrote. So that a dog benefits everyone in life, and we need to live more like dogs. So this is what Stan wrote. Examples. Drink a lot of water. Have a treat once in a while. I love that one. Go on meaningful daily walks, yes. Prioritize sleep, lie in the sun on occasion, stop and just be in the moment more. And like we said, on a snap of a finger, life changes. Be present. Be enthusiastic, genuinely happy to see those you love. You talked about that. Protect the people you love with all that you have. I'm not gonna read the next one. I'll change the word because my mom taught me. Don't even say the word. I I say toot. I got it. Okay. Toot without shame. I love that. Enjoy the small things. Stay playful. Lick your partner. Stay I like that one. Stay loyal. Give a lot of kisses. Pay close attention. Your dog will make you a better human. I love that. So we need to live more like dogs. And before we wrap this up, And I do wanna say I'm glad you're friends with you the mother of your daughter. We can't really elaborate too much. I'll ask you that next time. But I do wanna ask you one more thing. We have about a minute or two left. ⁓ art, you're an artist. You're putting out beautiful art. Do you feel art a therapy, like everything else, meditation, music? It has been Massively cathartic, but it's not something that I sought out. It was something that that actually just landed in my my lap. ⁓ I had snapped my leg. ⁓ I suffered a massive spiral fracture, skateboarding a pool when I was about fifty. and I my my my life at that moment was completely up in the air. ⁓ I know paint. I've been a artist, ⁓ not a faux finish artist, a painter. I've been in the paint for For many, many years. So I didn't know anything else, really. aside from music, 'cause I was a musician. But ⁓ something kicked in me that was, you know, ⁓ that just it just broke free and I had my last three hundred dollars for my insurance and I had no money come in. And I spent it all on canvases and paints and and no brushes. ⁓ I didn't tell anybody. Because I, you know, you tell people your plans, they tend to put a ceiling on your potential. Yeah, exactly. You know, so ⁓ and I said, This is what I'm gonna do, and I gave it a shot and I just splattering paint. And I my daughter's memory, my daughter was the driving force, and I my first two paintings, one was some abstract flowers, another one was ⁓ was ⁓ angel wings with a heart in the middle. All splatter paint, right? ⁓ and I posted them on Facebook. Just like, hey, you know, I'm feeling inspired, you know, check these out. I wasn't I had no idea about selling them. and within within a couple hours I had two different people ask how much and I didn't really know how to price paintings, but I figured I at least get my money that I put into And at the end of the day I had seven hundred and fifty dollars in my pocket. See. And so that that kind of catapulted me like, okay, I actually might be onto something. This could Actually maybe, I don't know. Kind of crapshoot. And now I'm selling nationwide and this painting right here that I have behind me, you know, sold for, you know, a couple grand. Wow. Now how can people find you and get your art? And ⁓ I'm sure if there's someone out there hurting and you need help and you're alone, you can send Stan a message, me a message, we'll reach out back to you free of charge. I mean, we wanna help. So how can people reach you? ⁓ you can go through my Instagram, Stan's Artwork, ⁓ or you can go to Facebook Stan's Artwork. All of my my my ⁓ my career is I'm in a good place. I that's all I do. That's what I make a living doing art. and ⁓ I lost my train of thought for a second. ⁓ Okay, I'm gonna pick up for you because now we gotta wrap it up. So I would love to talk to you a lot longer, but we're supposed to cut this off at a certain time. But what while you're remembering what you're gonna say, and I want you to give a powerful thought or statement to our viewers watching and listening on how they can help their lives change their mindset. But I do want to say something really important. Art found you, and I love that, and I want to say to all of you watching this podcast. When you go through the darkness, like Stan said, and you embrace it and you honor it and you live in it. Don't dwell in it forever, but live in it, honor it. You're able to release it and start to move on and educate others and help heal yourself. And when you do that, the path that destiny and your higher power chooses for you. comes to fruition because you're a different person than you were before. And Stan, you getting hurt on that skateboard, I think it was, led you to the path of art because that's what was meant for you. And I think that's beautiful because now it's a whole nother path that's opened up. So follow the signs and heal yourself because the world and the universe want you to have abundance of wealth and health and love and beautiful things. So that's my two cents, but go ahead and you close it out with something powerful. Well I mean it's it's you have to endeavor to persevere. You know, post traumatic growth is the precursor to happiness and and and and happiness in life. So you know to be open to those things, you have to keep your mindset in the sense of endeavoring to persevere. It's not gonna happen overnight. It will happen incrementally and you will become stronger. I I guarantee it. You know, if if that's your mindset is really you either your worst enemy or your own best friend. So speak to yourself as though you were speaking to you someone you really, really loved. Because that's it. You have to love yourself first and foremost. No matter, you know, whatever you you have done in your life that has been less than stellar, forgive yourself. Keep moving forward. You know, that's really where it's at. Your future is spotless. Yes, it's perfect. Love yourself. That's what it's all about. So thank you, Stan, so much for joining me. It was beautiful. I loved it. We could talk forever. But we are going to say goodbye to all of you. And if you want to Reach out to either one of us. You can call. My line is 754-222-4413. And please share this podcast with others. Like and comment on it. And have a beautiful and blessed day. And thank you again, Stan. It was wonderful talking to you. Thank you very much. It was cathartic. Thank you.