Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / You're Not a Quitter, You're Just Done: Reframing Failure as Finishing
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (00:30) Hey everyone, have you ever identified as a quitter or a failure? Someone who never finishes anything. You start so many things you can't follow through, can't complete. I've been there, totally been there. Weight loss, businesses, goals, ambitions. so many things that I didn't finish them in the way that I had hoped. And that's not a great feeling. But I was tired of being so weighed down all the time with not with this feeling of not completing, not finishing in the way that I had hoped or in the way that I thought I was supposed to finish something. So fun fact about me, I have started multiple businesses. I quit teaching after seven years, so I had my first baby and that was my last year teaching. And during that time I started private tutoring, because some of my friends were doing it and I wanted to get in on that and that was super cool. And so I was a private tutor for a couple of years. Quit teaching and I started a baking business in my 900 square foot apartment making cinnamon rolls. And then I started into the niche of gluten free and vegan baking and it kind of took off and it was nuts. I was making so many cinnamon rolls and so many cookies and it was so fun. And I really learned how to utilize network marketing and Instagram. And it was, it was a riot. That was so fun. In fact, I'm really proud of myself. So I would have customers order one day a week and they had a one hour window to come pick up their baked goods from the playground at the front of my apartment complex so that my little boy could play on the playground and I could give people their orders. to their cars. And it was so fun and such a wild ride. And you might say, after only doing that for like a year and a half to two years, that that was lame. Didn't last very long. It's not like you turned it into a storefront business or anything. Never was Instagram famous. But for me, it just came to an end. It didn't mean I was a failure or a quitter. It just was time to be done. It served its purpose for me and for my customers and the friends that I made. And so after that, I started selling on Poshmark and I tried different strategies to sell Poshmark. And in the end, I had so much inventory that I never sold that I just gave away for free and sent. to Deseret Industries and Goodwill. Again, did I fail? No, I just finished. I finished when I felt it was right. And same with, what else did I do? my gosh, my brother and I started an online dress boutique because he wanted to dabble, dabble in e-commerce. And I told him about these stretchy lightweight dresses that my mom had brought me back from Korea and I couldn't find them anywhere. And so my brother reached out to a friend, cause he knows someone everywhere in the world in Korea. And he went to the little shop at the flea market and bought, what did we get? Like 10, 50 pound boxes shipped from Korea to my 900 square foot apartment. where I stored them in our second bedroom, which was also our son's bedroom, which now lined the wall of his room. And I had these 10, 50 pound boxes delivered to my doorstep. some of them. I had to go pick up the rest of them from the post office. And we started an online house dress business for, again, for like a year. We did photography. We had models. We learned about Shopify. And I did house parties. It was just crazy. And same thing, were like, meh, this really isn't our thing. So we finished and we called it quits. We were done. And I have tried other things that I can't even think of at the moment. Etsy, babysitting. I've been a substitute teacher at the school, even was going to start back up when we moved to Utah and it didn't feel like the right thing to do. So I went to all the meetings and I was like, meh, not yet. And I think that's kind of how it goes. You don't know if it's a good fit. You don't know if it's the right time. Don't know if it's the right execution until you try. And if you never try. You'll never know. And guess what? Every single time you try, you learn something. And that is invaluable. That is the most important part of just trying over and over and over and over again. Right? You learn where there's a quote, right? That you learn a gazillion ways to not do something until you finally learn the right way you want to do it or the way that works for you. I mean, who's really to say what's even like the right or wrong way? Especially with like f- food and dieting, our bodies are all so different and so unique. And what works for one person is not going to work for you. And the execution in business, just because it worked for one person isn't going to work for you. But there are so many ways that have worked for lots of people. So it's awesome to read up on strategies and executions that have worked for other people and then try them. And if they don't work, It doesn't have to lessen your value or how people see you. And that was something I had to come to terms with with all my businesses. I was starting to kind of get that imposter syndrome and feel like people were seeing me as just someone who never finishes anything. And then when I realized, no, actually I've done a lot of things and I have learned a lot and I have loved all of these things that I've tried and they just finished them. It didn't mean anything about me and my value as a human and my worth as an entrepreneur. They just were finished. They were complete. And I think that's really important for us to remember as we don't finish things maybe in the way that we hoped when we started them. But it's a good opportunity to evaluate, right? And maybe come back to later. I like to ask myself questions when I'm starting to feel that lack of motivation or not wanting to keep going. It's interesting because you do want to keep going, but you don't want to put in the effort, right? Or what it takes to keep going. So I like to ask myself, all right, is this something I genuinely want to do? And if so, what do I need to change to make it more sustainable and possibly more fun and easier to actually do? So then I get into problem solving mode. And when we shame ourselves and tell ourselves that we're just not strong enough, we're not willed enough, so we're judging ourselves. And then we feel guilty and we feel shame and it's heavy and we stay stuck. But when we show love and compassion to ourselves, that is when we get in problem solving mode and we show up for ourselves as our own best friend. Like, Hey, Hey buddy, what do you need? to do this today? What's one small thing that could move us closer to our goal? And that's what I've learned in all of my efforts of trying new things that starting small is key. I signed up to do this like 10 day. It like wasn't even crazy long. This 10 day blood glucose reset diet. And I was like, sweet. I really want to work on my insulin resistance, so I'm gonna do this. So I bought all the weird food that I don't eat and you are probably amazing and love kimchi and sauerkraut and Asian cabbage and cauliflower. Well, I... Those are not my thing. Not yet. Maybe one day. But they're not my thing. So this new diet, all these new foods that I was not used to. So I bought them all. I'm super pumped. I'm like 10 days. I got this. I could print out the recipes. My first recipe was a cauliflower pumpkin smoothie. Guys, I made that smoothie. I drank that smoothie. And it was awful. Awful. So of course, did I want to continue? Heck no. There was no way I was going to eat all these weird foods. I tried two more. I made like this cucumber salad. I was like, I like cucumbers. It was just not flavors I am accustomed to. And I was done. All the food went to waste. Nothing happened. Now looking back on that experience, it would have been good to be like, okay, all acknowledging my truth, right? Like all of this is foreign to me. I'm willing to step into this, but maybe I try one thing from this 10 day commitment, this 10 day diet cleanse reset. I'm going to try that. smoothie. That's the one thing I'm going to do. And maybe I do this on my own time and on my own terms at some point. But again, I never would have really had the opportunity to think about that if I hadn't executed it the way I did. So now having tried so many different diets, again, so many different business ideas, I can now look back and be like, what can I do that is one small step closer to the end goal that I actually want. And what is it that I actually want in the end? And how can I make this as fun and easy as possible? So those are your three things. Small steps, fun, and easy as possible. And those have served me so much lately, these past couple of years. And make any goal sustainable and attainable. and I just show myself so much more grace. I am in this life for the long haul. I hope to live to be at least 90. I'm not even 40 yet. I got a ways to go. So I'm not in a quick fix. I'm in this for the long game. I'm excited to see who I can become. I'm excited to see who you can become. I hope you are too. So don't let failure hit you so hard next time. Have a great day.