Latest / Mathis Family Talks / Family Court: Love, Boundaries and Control | Ep. 2

Transcript

Family Court: Love, Boundaries and Control | Ep. 2 · Mathis Family Talks

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Baby. You know that I can attest to that baby.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: My partner one.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Your reacted.
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: At checking into the game.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Why was it gross?
• 0:38
  Speaker 5: Anyways? Gross?
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I was a kid and my mom who was talking
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: like this, I would be so gross.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I think that I would be grossed out if I
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: didn't grow up hearing it all happened. So you know,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: we grew up here and it all happened, and so
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: we just know what happens, which is which is the
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: good thing knowing.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: To recent years that y'all used to hear her, Oh
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: you used to hear you.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: I used to be so embarrassing my friends.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Why did y'all have to say anything all these years?
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Unjudge Greg Matthews and I am Linda Man.
• 1:23
  Speaker 6: Welcome to Matthew's Family Talks, Matthew's Family Talks, and we
• 1:33
  Speaker 6: are here today and we are going.
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: To hold not today, Judge, what you have to say.
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: We all have opinions on this on these times.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: To tell me I'm being prosecuted, that might be the case.
• 1:59
  Speaker 7: So we're gonna talk about the day when does family
• 2:01
  Speaker 7: support become family interference?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's a hot one. That's I guess.
• 2:08
  Speaker 7: We had a little bit of all that you guys
• 2:10
  Speaker 7: growing up. Most definitely interference.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Like what wait, where to feel with that stuff? The
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: main one. Give me an example basketball, what about it?
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: He's an example. You want your kids to play a sports?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I want your kids to play certain sports.
• 2:33
  Speaker 8: You want your kids to go and study certain things
• 2:36
  Speaker 8: or work certain classes.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: Yes, because you think you know their skills, and then
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: you choose the highest level of achievement in that skill
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: set that they have.
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: Or you you wish you had that skill.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Got their skill from me. So therefore I'm gonna develop
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: theirs because no one developed mine, and I don't want to.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want them to not live the dreams that
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: they have the skill level to me.
• 3:10
  Speaker 7: Input from the viewers that have wrote into us, they
• 3:13
  Speaker 7: have questions for us.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna start with the first question.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Well, the first one is in the first one, I
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: wanted to like add some fun to it.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: What's the fun?
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: The fun is is this case that I found and
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I wanted to see if it was if you all
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: knew if it was true or false?
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's not the curveball.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: It just you know starts off the family court in sessions.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, so does that make you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Tomorrow just says a fun part. True or false? Was
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: this a real case or not? A couple suit their
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: adult son because you wouldn't give them grandchildren.
• 3:50
  Speaker 5: I hope that's false.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I heard about this case. True when all
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: the way is Supreme Court and the Supreme Court out
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: rude overruled. How did that get to the Supreme There
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: are no grandparents, right? Do you remember the details of
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: the case. No, but it makes sense, but no, because
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I remember this being true.
• 4:12
  Speaker 8: But I'm trying to remember where they I think they
• 4:14
  Speaker 8: said something like they invested in their children with the
• 4:18
  Speaker 8: expectation of having grandchildren.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: That's what it was. It was we raised you for
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: your school.
• 4:26
  Speaker 8: We paid for this, and that they might even paid
• 4:29
  Speaker 8: for freezing the eggs or something like that.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So they feel.
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: Do you think parents are entitled to grandchildren? Like?
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: No, I don't either.
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: I don't think so either, because you cannot guarantee that
• 4:46
  Speaker 7: anyone is going to be able to bear children.
• 4:49
  Speaker 9: Or be a parent, and actually the child expectations you believe.
• 4:54
  Speaker 7: I always tell people, if you don't want to have kids,
• 4:57
  Speaker 7: you shouldn't have for sure, you have to be in it.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: I mean, if you're not gonna be in.
• 5:03
  Speaker 9: It, and I think that's probably why parents will want grandkids,
• 5:08
  Speaker 9: because they don't have to be in.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: It as much.
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: Being a grandparent is fun.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: I'll tell you why a parent wants grandkids.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: It was fun.
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: Why Number one, you want.
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: To see your legacy.
• 5:20
  Speaker 7: You want to see your you know, you look at
• 5:22
  Speaker 7: yourself and you want to see it live on. I
• 5:26
  Speaker 7: want to see it live on through my children. I
• 5:28
  Speaker 7: want to see it live on through my grandchildren. When
• 5:30
  Speaker 7: I look at my grandchildren, now I see me and
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: I love it. And so that was my number one reason.
• 5:36
  Speaker 7: I wanted to see generations and generations of my family.
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: And just like babies get it.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: I love my grandkids.
• 5:45
  Speaker 7: They're exciting and it's interesting and I don't have to
• 5:48
  Speaker 7: do the heavy, heavy stuff any exactly.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: My friend loved the fun. You know, I tell people
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: often the most fun years of my life. You always
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: age one to fifteen. It ended there because after fifteen
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: you don't want anything to do with anybody. So parents,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: that's typical. So now I got another group I can
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: have fun with for fifteen years and this generation. But
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I guess when you say it that way, is that not?
• 6:18
  Speaker 8: And that's the expectation that you should have children to
• 6:21
  Speaker 8: carry it's a hope and you can have fun.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Otherwise, go borrow somebody's kids for the day and.
• 6:30
  Speaker 8: Have fun for me, because I immediately thought about just
• 6:36
  Speaker 8: the biblical nature of it too in a sense, and
• 6:38
  Speaker 8: you're the resident Bible expert of like the tended to
• 6:42
  Speaker 8: be fruitful and multiply, it's like carry on the family,
• 6:45
  Speaker 8: carry on legacy.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I just think about all of that.
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: But no, that is good.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: But God didn't bless.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: Every single person, correct, because even.
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: So I think for parents to expect that, no, for
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: parents to want that and to wish and pray.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: For and the super for Now, let me hop in
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: here and say the case was real.
• 7:07
  Speaker 8: Okay, good, yeah, but.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: But you know you're talking about Supreme Court and all that.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: It was actually in India.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but they have a case here in the United
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: States Supreme Court.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna fact check it because I.
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: Believe you.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: If you don't fact checking, the listeners and I wouldn't
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: want to get that wrong. Was a big case in
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: the eighties or nineties.
• 7:30
  Speaker 7: Absolutely, their kids, it's not about their kids didn't have children.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: They wouldn't let them.
• 7:37
  Speaker 8: Oh that, Yeah, so curious thought mere what happened with
• 7:40
  Speaker 8: the case in India. Do you know, I feel like
• 7:42
  Speaker 8: India they might have seen the.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Different in the case they did. They didn't lose the case.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: They lost the case as well.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, that would be a that would be a big
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: thing in India. Yeah, a lot of parents.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: SOO, I was going to.
• 7:52
  Speaker 8: Say, I just feel like their you know, their their
• 7:55
  Speaker 8: culture is more tightly wound around family traditions than American
• 7:59
  Speaker 8: culture might be.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Your parents, your grandparents' rights are treating the parents. It's right,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: that's what you get your grandparents, right, I treat their
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: parents right?
• 8:12
  Speaker 9: Oh yeah, I mean I yes, forcing your kids to
• 8:16
  Speaker 9: have grand forcing your children to have grandkids, it's one thing.
• 8:20
  Speaker 9: Forcing your grandkids, your children to let you be part
• 8:24
  Speaker 9: of their kids life, it's a whole other issue. And
• 8:26
  Speaker 9: you know that part is actually really sad, But I agree.
• 8:30
  Speaker 9: You gotta have a good relation with your children. That's
• 8:32
  Speaker 9: why having a good connection and good relationship with your
• 8:34
  Speaker 9: children is important because and I hate there are no grandparents.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: In this way.
• 8:37
  Speaker 7: But you know, sometimes you say it's sad, but it
• 8:40
  Speaker 7: might be said you might be the right thing to do.
• 8:42
  Speaker 9: Yeah, who your parents exactly, that's still said, all.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Right, so let's move on, like we talked about with
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: some people write in some questions. So Mom, how about
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: you lead us off with those?
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Okay, the trust case, Hi, mathis family.
• 8:56
  Speaker 7: I told my mom I was pegging it, and I
• 8:59
  Speaker 7: asked her not to anyone. Yet less than an hour later,
• 9:03
  Speaker 7: she posted it on Facebook. Friends and relatives started calling
• 9:09
  Speaker 7: before my husband and I had announced it ourselves.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: She says. She she was just excited.
• 9:17
  Speaker 7: I told her she'll be the last person to know
• 9:20
  Speaker 7: important news from now on.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Don't even try it, am.
• 9:24
  Speaker 8: I overreaction sounds like somebody already knows and that wasn't
• 9:29
  Speaker 8: even the question.
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: It wasn't about you. But I'll say this.
• 9:36
  Speaker 7: As as a parent, I know how excited I was
• 9:39
  Speaker 7: when I was told, so I would say it's okay
• 9:44
  Speaker 7: to give a parent grace if they had told a
• 9:46
  Speaker 7: friend or two, but to put it on Facebook.
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: As a little bit too, that's a lot.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I'm there like Kamara say it's not about me, so
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: that exonerates me. You can stop accusing me of that
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: to my just that my case, and she's the lawyer.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: She says, that's not about it, just so the viewers
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: and listeners that y'all are confused.
• 10:06
  Speaker 8: You know who the person that tells everybody's business and
• 10:09
  Speaker 8: the family is, because they're protesting a lot right now.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: But I couldn't even get to the story. He was
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: already defending him.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to know now I had nothing to do.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: With me say this.
• 10:23
  Speaker 7: When I first found out with my first grandchild, I
• 10:26
  Speaker 7: was not told not to tell anybody, was.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: The first one I hadn't told people yet. No, you
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: told us, but not to tell anybody? Probably, so.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Remember that man on social media?
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: But I told all my friends.
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: Yes, I'm sure you did.
• 10:45
  Speaker 8: Estion was from the caller was did they overreact by
• 10:49
  Speaker 8: saying they're not gonna tell the parent anymore?
• 10:50
  Speaker 7: News?
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: Now it's hard to be a trusted no.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: But is that the questioning was I to.
• 10:58
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah, no, that's that's completely here to me, It's
• 11:00
  Speaker 8: like I would like, especially if they told them in Facebook.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: That's extreme. Don't believe in second chance, Not with that,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Not with that, how y'all gonna be judged? Just here today,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: And don't believe I'm the second chance just means.
• 11:15
  Speaker 7: That if you have something you want to hold close
• 11:17
  Speaker 7: to your heart, don't tell that person toil, you.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: Rate the person made change.
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: I know, what do you think? She she was excited
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: that she had deserve a little grace.
• 11:26
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna say no, sorry, maybe I'm not a I
• 11:30
  Speaker 7: would tell you when I want everybody else to know.
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: Trust has to be built, and I would.
• 11:34
  Speaker 7: Not just use that for you anyway. So I know
• 11:39
  Speaker 7: basis right there. If I don't want anybody to know, But.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: You don't, y'all actually.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Because I know you're talking about you're the same.
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: She's like, she, don't tell nobody, don't tell nobody.
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: Family.
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: The the next person like, but don't tell nobody. Mom
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: told me, But she told.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Me, don't problems.
• 11:58
  Speaker 8: He tell you, He told people, and then he put
• 12:01
  Speaker 8: it on Facebook too. That's I don't put it on Facebook.
• 12:05
  Speaker 8: I will let you know how gossip.
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: His friends and they talks so loud that everybody in
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: the house.
• 12:10
  Speaker 9: No, and all their friends know too because he on
• 12:14
  Speaker 9: the other line so loud.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So is that what they did? Not overreact?
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: I didn't think you're reacting.
• 12:20
  Speaker 7: No, I don't think. And I think it might be
• 12:22
  Speaker 7: a limit to what she can let mom know what
• 12:25
  Speaker 7: she wants to.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Because that's a particularly not that.
• 12:29
  Speaker 7: I'm not gonna tell mom that was me. I'm not
• 12:31
  Speaker 7: gonna I'm not I'm going to tell you.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna tell you.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: Until I want everyone to know.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: What if you swear you don't believe it? If she
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: said I swear, I ain't gonna do it no more? Oh, okay,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: you apologize to y'all.
• 12:46
  Speaker 7: Something that important because people feel when they don't want
• 12:50
  Speaker 7: you to tell people, they want to make sure they
• 12:52
  Speaker 7: are securing their pregnancy. And that's a big thing to
• 12:55
  Speaker 7: be secure in your pregnancy before the whole world knows, because.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: We know what can happen. Sometimes.
• 13:01
  Speaker 8: I guess that you have a little bit of a point.
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: I'm still on the writer's side. I think they did
• 13:07
  Speaker 8: not overreact, but I guess I would. The opportunity I
• 13:10
  Speaker 8: would give is I would want to know more about.
• 13:13
  Speaker 8: Did you not hear me when I asked you not
• 13:14
  Speaker 8: to share it? Did you forgive? Like?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: What was the thought process? Did you put this on face? Yes,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: y'all know I got memory, probably, so that's that's probably
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: what's going on with me. I don't tell all, I.
• 13:28
  Speaker 7: Just have.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: You told me not to.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: I just want to say there was a moment when
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: I told Mom something and she told grandma, and then
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Grandma told one of our cousins, and they came back
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: to me and got me in trouble.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: So I stopped.
• 13:45
  Speaker 8: Oh, I don't care, and I don't feel bad for
• 13:47
  Speaker 8: you at all, because you were the first person I
• 13:49
  Speaker 8: came out to and I asked you not to tell anybody.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: You told the whole family.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: That was for your I was trying to help.
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: You, what.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: I believe it would have taken him a long time.
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: Did you ever trust him again?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: You know, I didn't care. That's career. I would have
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: been great. I was grateful. I would have never told.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: It would have taken me years to tell.
• 14:21
  Speaker 8: Well, because one of the most difficult when you have
• 14:24
  Speaker 8: to tell people something so personal over and over, then
• 14:27
  Speaker 8: it doesn't necessarily get easy, especially when it's in such
• 14:30
  Speaker 8: a short time frame. You know, it's all consecutive. You
• 14:33
  Speaker 8: gotta have the same conversation. Facebook wasn't out there, okay.
• 14:41
  Speaker 7: Because you didn't care, But what if somebody else wasn't
• 14:45
  Speaker 7: ready for that wasn't ready for the whole world to know?
• 14:47
  Speaker 8: Well, And that's why you got to tread it lightly,
• 14:49
  Speaker 8: and you got to know what you're dealing with and
• 14:51
  Speaker 8: who you're dealing with, and it is a risk.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: It definitely is a risk.
• 14:54
  Speaker 9: And it turned out in your case because you know,
• 14:58
  Speaker 9: obviously we just loved you anyway.
• 15:00
  Speaker 6: It was.
• 15:01
  Speaker 8: Maliciousness. He knew that my family, He knew our family
• 15:05
  Speaker 8: and how they would feel about me and want to
• 15:07
  Speaker 8: support me, which was the bigger, the more important objective
• 15:12
  Speaker 8: than you know me temporarily being afraid and saying don't
• 15:15
  Speaker 8: say anything.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 15:16
  Speaker 7: So our conclusion, but that was that Grandma was happy.
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: She was excited.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: No, she was excited, excited.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Grandma was happy.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: We would give her grace.
• 15:28
  Speaker 7: We might hold things in the future a little closer
• 15:30
  Speaker 7: to our hearts and not let mom.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Know correct, right, that's gonna be hard to do. I
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: love her dearly, but she will talk talk. Maybe that's
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: where I learned it from. I've been around her for
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: forty five, forty six years, my mom. No, Grandma here
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: talking over the photo about what you're doing. Just little
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: stuff Greg, me upstairs? Oh sure, just to.
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: Greg.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: You're not in the kitchen, Greg, believe it. He's going out.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: It's cute. So tomorrow is Grandma. We're giving Grandma and
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: the story. We're giving grace. But no more secrets, and
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: that we have a family full of gossips.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, who in this room is the best at keeping secrets?
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Me?
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say maybe tomorrow.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so for.
• 16:30
  Speaker 8: With me in a close second, I think with me
• 16:33
  Speaker 8: at a close second, you don't think so yeah.
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: I think yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: I keep secrets now. Yeah right, I've got lots of secrets.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: You want to know. That's how I am.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: I've redeemed myself. I'm becoming really good at keeping secrets.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Is that a good thing or a pathway?
• 16:50
  Speaker 8: Everybody's so proud of their ability to keep secrets.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: I'm so good.
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: Distrust y'all the way he was so excited. He's mistrusting
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: the person who talks just trusting with secrets?
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: What hide?
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: He told me to hold a secret? She told me
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: to hold two secrets. I never told a secret.
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: I don't trust you a secret.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: They y'all got too much to hide. It sounds like
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: today what I'm trying to say.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: All right, be moving on now you want to go
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: to letter number two.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Here's the next letter. Hi, matthis family. I'm twenty seven
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: and my parents have been helping me pay rent. While
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I'm looking for work. Recently, they told me that they'll
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: stop helping unless I break up with my boyfriend because
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: they don't think he's good for me. I feel like
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: they're using money to control my life. They say that
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: they're trying to protect me. Who's right.
• 17:47
  Speaker 8: I mean, I'm sorry, but the parents, if you're supporting somebody, you.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: Think they have the right to control you.
• 17:53
  Speaker 8: I mean they their money. I'm sorry. No, no, no,
• 17:59
  Speaker 8: they're twenty seven years old. But they're saying, if you
• 18:02
  Speaker 8: don't do what we want, we're gonna stop supporting. That's
• 18:06
  Speaker 8: what they're saying. They're saying that deparents in this case.
• 18:11
  Speaker 8: They're saying that, Okay, if you don't want to live
• 18:13
  Speaker 8: like that, it's their money. If I'm taking money from
• 18:17
  Speaker 8: somebody and they want me.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: To that, I am no.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: We just don't give it to you. If you don't
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: approve of your use, if you are a drug addict,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: no I'm not. That's what if she is. Because they
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: don't like the boyfriend. If you live in a destructive life,
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: they believe the boyfriend is destructive, and it's.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: They didn't say the boyfriend was instructive. They didn't like
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: the boyfriend.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not giving you money if the effective will hurt you.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: So the letter says that they don't think he's good
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: for me. So if you all thought that someone anyone
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: in here was dating someone that you didn't like would
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: take you down the wrong path, and you're paying for
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: their livelihood, what you would say is, hey, if you
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: don't do this, you still live and have your way,
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: but we're just not going to pay for it.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: That's what you would say. I could tell by the
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: way you see.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Nothing like the parents talk.
• 19:10
  Speaker 7: First, all the parents think as a parent, if you
• 19:14
  Speaker 7: are giving money to control somebody's.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Life, I think you're doing wrong, you know.
• 19:20
  Speaker 7: And there are certain things such as if the person
• 19:23
  Speaker 7: was had a small amount of money or was taking
• 19:25
  Speaker 7: the money and doing things that they shouldn't do with.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: It, yes you should stop the sport.
• 19:30
  Speaker 7: But if they're paying their rent and yet you want
• 19:33
  Speaker 7: to control another part of their life, so.
• 19:36
  Speaker 9: You're giving them the money for the rent and not
• 19:38
  Speaker 9: anything else. So it's like if they're still living in
• 19:40
  Speaker 9: the house.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: People have to learn to live their own life.
• 19:43
  Speaker 7: As a parent, you can give advice and say, you know,
• 19:45
  Speaker 7: you can tell them about maybe how this guy might
• 19:47
  Speaker 7: not be good for you and the reasons why. But
• 19:49
  Speaker 7: you got to tread it lightly then too, because that
• 19:52
  Speaker 7: could be a problem.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: And you know what, people are, particularly young, your kids
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: tend to do. Tell you once again, uh, don't run
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: my life and don't tell me what to do with
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: where to spend my money and how to spend my money. Well,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: don't ask me that, don't lecture me. I don't have
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: to get elect or I'm gonna give you election. Because
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: why are you short on your money? What did you
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: want my money? Right, I'm not short on money. I
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: will be shorter when I give it to you. So
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: why are you short on money? Because from all I
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: understood to be the case, you can afford your lifestyle
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: because you haven't changed your lifestyle. So why do you
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: suddenly need money now? People don't like that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 7: Yeah, well we know this person needs the money for
• 20:39
  Speaker 7: their rent and the parent has greet to pay the rent.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: You, I mean, what you do with your other money?
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: Go ahead, Yeah, that's the problem that y'all be evaluating that.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: That's that's the election.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: I see you on social media and.
• 20:51
  Speaker 7: You're at the club, right, I'm throwing up money and
• 20:55
  Speaker 7: buying drinks everybody.
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: Then I can pull back on my rent. But to
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: say that.
• 20:59
  Speaker 7: It's tied to your boyfriend because I don't like him,
• 21:01
  Speaker 7: and if you if you keep dating him on pulling up.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: Basically, it's like a help with conditions.
• 21:05
  Speaker 9: They're helping you, but they have conditions on how you
• 21:08
  Speaker 9: live your life.
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: And I unless.
• 21:10
  Speaker 9: It's kind of like you said, destructive lifestyle, like I
• 21:13
  Speaker 9: think you help us with their rent. Maybe they think
• 21:15
  Speaker 9: the boyfriend's living there too and living off the rent,
• 21:17
  Speaker 9: he should be paying some of the rent. But what
• 21:18
  Speaker 9: if they both can't afford the rent? Is that you
• 21:20
  Speaker 9: should That's.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Who I'm met with it. Yeah, you can't pimp me now.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: So if your if you and your partner or spouse
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: are working or at least one going to school or
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: one doing something, then fine, But land back living off
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: the fatter the land, the fatter the land, the fat
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: is coming for me, the fat is coming for me,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Then you living off me?
• 21:47
  Speaker 8: My only point of like, and I personally wouldn't do
• 21:51
  Speaker 8: this if I was giving the money. But I do
• 21:53
  Speaker 8: have an opinion that if you are, if somebody is
• 21:55
  Speaker 8: supporting your life, they they got a little bit of stay.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: So over whether they want to give you some money,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: And that's not.
• 22:05
  Speaker 7: Life experience, because this is they need to find a
• 22:07
  Speaker 7: cheaper apartment.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: You talking about the rent, We're not talking about my life.
• 22:10
  Speaker 8: But if I'm taking money from somebody, the way I
• 22:13
  Speaker 8: think is I'm not independent at that point.
• 22:16
  Speaker 9: These are the grandparents who don't get to see their
• 22:17
  Speaker 9: grand kids because if that good girl have a baby
• 22:19
  Speaker 9: by that man.
• 22:20
  Speaker 8: That's that's a good point. That's a good point. What's
• 22:23
  Speaker 8: that that these might be the grandparents that don't grandkids
• 22:28
  Speaker 8: because a baby botty man, you ain't seeing them drank
• 22:36
  Speaker 8: trade offs and running somebody else's life. Yeah, that's all too.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: I want to.
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: See you developed encouragement. I have, you know, instilled enough
• 22:45
  Speaker 7: in you to be able to be able to.
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: Run your own you get older.
• 22:50
  Speaker 7: I don't want to run your life. I want to
• 22:52
  Speaker 7: give you advice. If you don't take it, you don't
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: take it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 9: Yeah, and you can also say, hey, you have one
• 22:57
  Speaker 9: more year of me paying the rent, not giving any limitations,
• 23:01
  Speaker 9: but like if you don't want to pay, just give
• 23:02
  Speaker 9: him some grace period and say like, hey, I gave
• 23:05
  Speaker 9: I'll give you six months. That's all I can afford
• 23:08
  Speaker 9: to give you.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: But you stay the tired to the boyfriend is wrong,
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: and I took.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: The decision she makes with her life. Yeah, especially dating.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: I will say that things were it's a completely different scenario.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: But when we were out of college growing up in
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: your home, we did have to abide by rules. And
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: you know, because you're but that is a certain thing.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: If you're giving something. It's not monetary, but you're giving
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: a home. But we have to follow by those rules.
• 23:33
  Speaker 9: Yeah, And I think living in anyone's home, even if
• 23:35
  Speaker 9: you're an adult living at your friend's house, you need.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: To follow her rule.
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: And I'm daddy. You may have even bought him even
• 23:45
  Speaker 8: if he broke the rules. I don't think you would
• 23:47
  Speaker 8: have kicked him out. It would have been a lot
• 23:48
  Speaker 8: of conversations, a lot of what's going on, a lot
• 23:51
  Speaker 8: of we need to fix this, yeah.
• 23:52
  Speaker 9: Or just like I don't. I don't want you bringing
• 23:54
  Speaker 9: girls or guys in the house at night. And that's
• 23:56
  Speaker 9: a reasonable rule for a parent to have if a
• 23:58
  Speaker 9: child is living with them. You know, just let me
• 24:01
  Speaker 9: know if you're gonna be I you're gonna be out
• 24:02
  Speaker 9: all nice. I'm not looking for you.
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: It's not control. That's more like disrupting the household.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: And now I was adamant about not having partners and
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: uh boyfriend girlfriends sleep overnight prior to oh yeah, the.
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: Same overnight a whole bunch of times.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: And thank God for your father and your parents they
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: trust in separate rooms to trusted me even though they
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: didn't know I was sneaking in there bout one every month. No,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I'm just disrespect laws.
• 24:39
  Speaker 8: That is such a funny concept to me though, just
• 24:42
  Speaker 8: in this modern world that we live in, because Elliott's
• 24:44
  Speaker 8: parents are the same way we go to South Carolina,
• 24:48
  Speaker 8: not that we're mayor.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: But before separate.
• 24:51
  Speaker 8: Rooms, I was stuffed up in the attic. He was
• 24:53
  Speaker 8: in the guest room. No, no, we wouldn't actually, but
• 24:57
  Speaker 8: it was. It's just funny because I think about we're
• 25:00
  Speaker 8: doing all types of stuff when we not under the roof.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: But it's like, nope, in this house, you go this way.
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: You don't have old school Yes, yes.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: So you would allow it. How would you handle that
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: in this day and age?
• 25:18
  Speaker 7: I would probably allow if you were a long term
• 25:20
  Speaker 7: Libyan together they all lived together for a long yes, yes,
• 25:25
  Speaker 7: and that is what you are partner, That is I
• 25:29
  Speaker 7: would say.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: I think y'all made up. It was Raan, But y'all
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: like forty years at one.
• 25:33
  Speaker 9: Point before they were married, would you joint with their
• 25:38
  Speaker 9: song over there?
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: I know?
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Wait, what's she from out of the country?
• 25:45
  Speaker 8: Oh?
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: No, oh yeah, y'all, Oh y'all, yeah, y'all got real lax.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Was this y'all got? Because you know, what's the age
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: going off.
• 25:58
  Speaker 7: Like that?
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I think there we had a we had a there's
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a bedroom shortage.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Right, I mean, you can't care age fifty. I agree,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: it's kind of little.
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: You have changed your modern parents they.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: Got past thirty.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: So yeah, this next one was for for Greg. Actually,
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: woman wrote this specifically to him.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, from Greg? What do they want to know from me?
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: Everything he knows he got from his mama.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: You know, just for backstory with everyone the listeners. Greg
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: used to work on Capitol Hill in d C.
• 26:39
  Speaker 8: Oh wow, this next one is for me, Okay, I Greg,
• 26:44
  Speaker 8: I landed a great internship interview. Before the interview, my
• 26:48
  Speaker 8: mom told me to change my hairstyle, stop using slang,
• 26:52
  Speaker 8: and present myself differently.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: She says. She's preparing me for the real world.
• 26:58
  Speaker 8: I feel like she's telling me who I am isn't
• 27:01
  Speaker 8: good enough.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Who's right?
• 27:05
  Speaker 8: Yeah, No, that's a very interesting one because I mean
• 27:07
  Speaker 8: I would say that the mom is right. It is
• 27:10
  Speaker 8: the reality of the world, and it's not changing who
• 27:13
  Speaker 8: you well, it is changing who you are. But we
• 27:16
  Speaker 8: live in a world with a lot of different people,
• 27:18
  Speaker 8: and you can go I'll have an example. I was
• 27:20
  Speaker 8: in you know, Pensacola recently, down South Florida. The culture
• 27:25
  Speaker 8: there is completely different than it is in Los Angeles.
• 27:29
  Speaker 8: I can't expect if I were to move down to
• 27:32
  Speaker 8: some place like that that I would be able to
• 27:34
  Speaker 8: have the same opportunities I would hear if I didn't
• 27:36
  Speaker 8: change the way I behaved.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's just fitting into the culture.
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: Of where you are, where you're interviewing.
• 27:43
  Speaker 8: Where you're interviewing, there's a code of conduct, a code
• 27:47
  Speaker 8: of conduct, and I don't think that's changing yourself. You
• 27:49
  Speaker 8: got to find out who you are within that code
• 27:51
  Speaker 8: of conduct, right.
• 27:52
  Speaker 9: And I agree even so on a younger level, like
• 27:56
  Speaker 9: my daughter who's in third grade out the teacher was
• 27:59
  Speaker 9: saying teaching them like what's how to speak in front
• 28:02
  Speaker 9: of people or to a teacher, and then how to
• 28:04
  Speaker 9: speak to their friends.
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: That's totally different.
• 28:06
  Speaker 9: It's kind of you can use slang when you're like talking,
• 28:08
  Speaker 9: but not when you're writing a paper. Like there's just different.
• 28:11
  Speaker 9: It's just different, and it's on a simple level.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: It's not who you are.
• 28:14
  Speaker 9: It's like there's friend talk and then there's business, and
• 28:16
  Speaker 9: then there's like talking to your teacher, professional talk.
• 28:18
  Speaker 8: Even with me with my journey, for example, going from
• 28:21
  Speaker 8: politics to entertainment, I used to wear a suit every
• 28:25
  Speaker 8: single day in DC. Man, I ain't warn a suit
• 28:27
  Speaker 8: and I can't remember when I hate wearing a suit
• 28:32
  Speaker 8: now because I just don't like it, and that's just
• 28:35
  Speaker 8: a free I've grown my hair out, you know, I've
• 28:38
  Speaker 8: gotten a tattoo or two.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: There's things I would not have done in a career.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: The principal fitting in. You have to fit in to
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: the environment and what you're in. If you want to
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: say you want to be there, if you want to
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: fit in, if you want to stand out as odd
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: or different, then that's fine too, to say the opportunity
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 29:00
  Speaker 9: But no, I think the interview is just different that
• 29:04
  Speaker 9: he's specifically to the interviews to getting an interview. Yes,
• 29:07
  Speaker 9: we all show up looking at our best selves, speaking
• 29:10
  Speaker 9: in a professional manner.
• 29:12
  Speaker 8: The job is because I guess his point is that
• 29:16
  Speaker 8: he's trying to be the version of who he thinks
• 29:18
  Speaker 8: his best self is. His mom is telling him in
• 29:21
  Speaker 8: his mind to be someone else, to.
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: Be more professional.
• 29:24
  Speaker 7: And I see two things in this slang is absolutely
• 29:28
  Speaker 7: out period for a job slang. Okay, right now, we
• 29:33
  Speaker 7: have generation after generation. You know, things have changed as
• 29:36
  Speaker 7: far as the way we dress and our hair. Our
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: hair can be.
• 29:40
  Speaker 4: So, like you mentioned type of job that you're going for,
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: so that.
• 29:45
  Speaker 7: Makes a difference, makes a difference in how you're presenting yourself.
• 29:48
  Speaker 7: And so we're gonna talk about how about this This
• 29:50
  Speaker 7: is the corporate world.
• 29:52
  Speaker 8: Yes, And I like that you're pointing out how dad
• 29:54
  Speaker 8: said the type of job you're going for, because yeah,
• 29:57
  Speaker 8: so if.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: You're going to be a street gang counselor if you're
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: going for a corporate.
• 30:05
  Speaker 8: Correct, your point would be, this is who I am,
• 30:10
  Speaker 8: and I'm going to identify with the people that we're
• 30:12
  Speaker 8: working with.
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: And that's because of how I present. And I think
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: that's a success to my television show. I adjust my
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: personality to everybody that comes before me. I meet them
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: right where they are, whether it's a street kid, I
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: can kick the game other streets with them. Whether it's
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: a college professor, I can debate the fine lines of
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: the English language. If it's a mother, single mother, been there,
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: if there's a family man with children, been there. I
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: can speak all those languages. And I think it's because
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: of all the experiences I've had, So it's an advantage
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: to be a that's right, I don't know. I'm like,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: that's naming switching. There's a big debate. Absolutely, this has
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: been a big debate.
• 30:56
  Speaker 8: I've seen it time and time again about whether it
• 30:59
  Speaker 8: is wrong to code switch, whether that's flip flopping, whether
• 31:02
  Speaker 8: that's not.
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: People agree with the judge here.
• 31:07
  Speaker 7: Ye have to talk to people in the way they
• 31:09
  Speaker 7: talk to that's what you want to do. You can
• 31:11
  Speaker 7: stay who you are wanting to sit all the time.
• 31:13
  Speaker 9: But if you feel that that's still who you are,
• 31:15
  Speaker 9: what I feel like, say yes, I feel like we
• 31:19
  Speaker 9: are MONSI positive people like you said, you can debate
• 31:23
  Speaker 9: the finance of them at any kind of school, or
• 31:26
  Speaker 9: you can talk to the guy on the street that's
• 31:28
  Speaker 9: not that's just multiple parts.
• 31:32
  Speaker 8: And I love the way that point out the positive
• 31:34
  Speaker 8: of it allows you to connect with people that maybe
• 31:37
  Speaker 8: would not connect with you otherwise if you didn't have
• 31:39
  Speaker 8: that skilled I view as a talent to be able
• 31:42
  Speaker 8: to code switch effectively, And like.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: You can't influence anybody unless you can relate to you
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: can't influence something. So yeah, sometimes I dressed street like
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: hip hop. Sometimes I dress professional. Today I'm trying to
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: impress a few of my rich friends. Conservative. I've gotten
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: this conservative, I'm gonna get today with a blazer.
• 32:05
  Speaker 8: So we would say code switching is not trading authenticity
• 32:09
  Speaker 8: in this room.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Mom, No it's not. I don't think it would be.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: No, I'm all four codes. I mean, I grew up
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: you know, different communities, different you know, Detroit and family friends,
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: suburban life friends, French, poor things, and I think that
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: I hate to say, it's like survival, but it's just
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: how But it's a part of surviving. It's like you,
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: it's it's not. People say is it survival or surrender?
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: And I don't think it's surrendering. It's more like I'm
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: going to allow myself to be a person who's who
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: can go into any room.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: I say advantage and it's a connection.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: I think when I do, it's it's not it's not forced.
• 32:51
  Speaker 8: I've lived in so many different environments, and I have
• 32:53
  Speaker 8: these versions of myself. It would be wrong for me
• 32:55
  Speaker 8: to say I don't I have my suburban version.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I grew up.
• 32:59
  Speaker 8: I grew up in interest city schools. I went to
• 33:01
  Speaker 8: a white undergrad. I have white friends, black friends, inner
• 33:04
  Speaker 8: city friends, nine city friends. I got my LGBTQ community,
• 33:08
  Speaker 8: and even within that, you got the flamboyant LGBTQ friends,
• 33:11
  Speaker 8: you got the more conservative ones, and I can move
• 33:14
  Speaker 8: within all of those groups comfortably, which is I view
• 33:17
  Speaker 8: as of town.
• 33:18
  Speaker 9: I also think, I know people are like, oh, when
• 33:21
  Speaker 9: you go in an interview or a job, just accept
• 33:23
  Speaker 9: you who you are. You should be able to be
• 33:24
  Speaker 9: your authentic self. I also feel like that's people coming
• 33:27
  Speaker 9: from a place of privilege, or are usually come from
• 33:29
  Speaker 9: place people who are already in their careers, because that's
• 33:32
  Speaker 9: not I feel like for a young person just starting out,
• 33:35
  Speaker 9: there are some sacrifices you have to make. You might
• 33:37
  Speaker 9: love your braids, but like you may think like, oh,
• 33:40
  Speaker 9: if I'm going into this bank situation, or like I'm
• 33:44
  Speaker 9: trying to be an investment banker, they may not like
• 33:45
  Speaker 9: my braids, so I may have to cut them off.
• 33:47
  Speaker 9: You can grow your hair back out after you get
• 33:49
  Speaker 9: the job. Maybe you know, but it's a privilege. It's
• 33:52
  Speaker 9: just like, oh, just keep your braids. They shouldn't discriminate
• 33:54
  Speaker 9: against you. They should not because of the hairstyle is
• 33:56
  Speaker 9: a hairstyle. But we all know that that happens and
• 33:59
  Speaker 9: to people in our community. And so I just think
• 34:00
  Speaker 9: that to get where you want to go, sometimes you
• 34:02
  Speaker 9: have to make.
• 34:03
  Speaker 8: The good thing is they pass laws about discriminating.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: Particularly once you're in the workplace. That's that's why I
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: get that job interview.
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: You won't know why, you.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Right, And I think it's a disadvantage to let it
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: destroy you inside that you might not fit into that environment,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: and that may be some demands on you to fit in.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: And instead of you trying to meet those demands and
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: out play them, out angle them, you say, oh, I'm
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: not gonna play their game. You hear that all the time.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to play their game. Well, you're not
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: going to be in the game.
• 34:42
  Speaker 8: And I think that's the The mom says she's trying
• 34:47
  Speaker 8: to prepare for the real world, because yes, we do
• 34:50
  Speaker 8: all aspire to a world in which these things didn't
• 34:53
  Speaker 8: have to be the case.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: But it is the case. So you either stay in
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: the game or you play yourself.
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: You get in the game and improved from the inside.
• 35:01
  Speaker 9: You know, you introduce someone with brazen you don't discriminate
• 35:03
  Speaker 9: anything where you don't think anything less.
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: Or you create your own ecosystem, which you become successful
• 35:07
  Speaker 8: enough and you change the game in your own way.
• 35:09
  Speaker 8: You've changed the game in a lot of ways. People
• 35:12
  Speaker 8: are grateful to you for that.
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: That was great. You all. You know, y'all full of
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: some wisdom.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: Right, y'all hang around me. Y'all been hanging around me.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: She's been hanging around me. She get it from me.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: And so now we're going to do a rapid fire one.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: And these are ones that you know, I've done some research,
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: just some interesting topics. So now we have other questions,
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: but we're going to do this in a rapid fire form.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: And so let's do this and I'll cut it in
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: your part.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I'm too old to do anything rapid with the mind.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: But this first one, this first one is actually from
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: you and I having a conversation.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: You're gonna do great. I'm really excited to.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: See, uh what you all have to say about things.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: Baby, you know that I can attest to that baby
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: my partner on.
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: Your reacted.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: Into the game.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: Why is it gross anyway?
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: Gross?
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: Gross?
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I was a kid and my mom who's talking like this,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I would be so gross.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: I think that I would be grossed out if I
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: didn't grow up hearing it all happened. So you know,
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: we grew up hearing it all happened, and so we
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: just know what happens, which is which is the good thing?
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Knowing to recent years that y'all used to hear her, Oh,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: you used to hear you.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: I used to be so embarrassing my friends.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Turn the TV out. Why did y'all ever say anything
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: all these years? At least poor mama.
• 37:20
  Speaker 8: I'll love you out of my mind, just like I'm
• 37:22
  Speaker 8: doing right now.
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: From hearing all this.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I guess I don't know. I would have
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: died if I heard that from my.
• 37:33
  Speaker 8: Well, Kamar's bedroom was right above y'all's too, Actually, TV,
• 37:37
  Speaker 8: I like.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: To get all back to the all right, rapid fire,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: rapid fire family court. My partner wants us to share
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: a location twenty four to seven. I think it's controlling,
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: my partner says, if I have nothing to hide, I shouldn't.
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: Care who's right controlling.
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: That's controlling. And I think people should share location if
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: they want to, they want to, you know, because I
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: don't have a problem sharing mine. But please don't question me.
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: Why were you at the right so right? Don't question?
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't force it, don't Yeah, why did you stop there? Well,
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I couldn't have been doing nothing. I only took ten
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: It only stopped there for ten minutes. Yeah, you can
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: do a lot in ten minutes in the park in
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: your Relationship's got a lot more now. But I'll tell
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: you my thing has always been I had this. I
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: have this fierce streak of independence, meaning not listening to
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: anyone and obeying anyone, because I felt I never obeyed
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: my mother. This is as crazy as it sounds. I
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: feel so independent. I'm like, I ain't listening to you.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I ain't listening to you. And maybe that's why I
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: got in trouble as my adult years later on, because
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: I ain't listened to my mama.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: Why couldn't you turn that thought around and say.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to honor her now by listening to people.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna be I'm gonna treat.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Somebody my hand, my hand who shares their location with
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: their partner in here.
• 39:13
  Speaker 8: Y'all don't share locations. Wow, that's so interesting my kids. Yeah,
• 39:18
  Speaker 8: I would think y'all definitely shared it with the family
• 39:20
  Speaker 8: and everything.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: I have location I have about I have about fifteen
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: friends that I share my location with.
• 39:25
  Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, I never thought about it with friends, you know,
• 39:28
  Speaker 7: because I don't know how to turn on the location.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah you did it.
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: I need it for you. Yeah.
• 39:32
  Speaker 7: So I don't mind sharing with somebody because I want
• 39:34
  Speaker 7: somebody to know where I am at all times.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: I don't think I want you all to know because
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: you take advantage of that.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: I see you're right there.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I ask you to come over for something. I'm like,
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: I'm not home on.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: The couch right, like a little lie every now and
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: then about where I'm right. I'm be home the next
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: ten minutes, right, man, stop being ain't real quick? All right,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: I'm on my way home. Man, just stop and we're
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: gonna kick it around for a minute. A boom.
• 40:10
  Speaker 7: I just found out the last month. How do I
• 40:12
  Speaker 7: look at the location that somebody is in and I
• 40:14
  Speaker 7: found out where you?
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I just why are you?
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: Why are you?
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: I just viewed myself as being drive and feeling followed
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: satellite or whatever.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: Hey, next one and remind you all again.
• 40:39
  Speaker 5: This is rapid fire.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: Rapid fire.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, I stopped going to some family gatherings because they're
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: bad for my mental health. My family says I'm using
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: therapy language to avoid accountability. Am I protecting my peace
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: or avoiding difficult conversation?
• 40:55
  Speaker 7: I think you should protect your peace for fine time
• 40:58
  Speaker 7: to interact with those family men members.
• 41:00
  Speaker 9: I think you're protecting your piece, which is fine, but
• 41:05
  Speaker 9: you're also you also may be avoiding difficult conversations. So
• 41:08
  Speaker 9: if your family thinks you are avoid those difficult conversations
• 41:11
  Speaker 9: and maybe have one on ones and not do it
• 41:12
  Speaker 9: at a family gathering, yeah, I would.
• 41:15
  Speaker 8: Need more details because some people take protecting their peace
• 41:18
  Speaker 8: too far.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: And I think you gotta test the temperature. Quite frankly,
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: if you see that everyone is happy and you're not
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: feeling so happy, then you don't not to wait. Nobody
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: wants to look at twisted right we have.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: See. What I liked about it is that it's said
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: some family gatherings. It doesn't mean all of it, and
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: to be honest, there are probably some that some people
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be at because some other people will be there,
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: or if it's a gathering that's known for drinking and
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: you know, certain things. But I do agree that you
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: should be able to face those difficult things, and you
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: also should have.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: To have your piece.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: Everybody.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: They'd be like, fine, I'll come. Make sure you call
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: the police too.
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: And that's where if some people are using that phrase.
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: Of protective check my piece.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Here's a good one, and there's the last one for
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: this one. My sister borrowed five thousand from me for
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: any emergency. She hasn't paid me back, but she just
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: posted photos from my luxury vacation.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: I want to call her out on the family group chat.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Would I be wrong?
• 42:37
  Speaker 7: No? I think you should call her out on wherever
• 42:40
  Speaker 7: she posted me five thousand dollars.
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: That is so funny. That's a good idea posted or
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: put it. Tell it.
• 42:52
  Speaker 8: She's the queen of giving people money and feeling bad
• 42:54
  Speaker 8: for people, and I'm like, Jane, it just happened recently.
• 42:59
  Speaker 8: She says, somebody called us for money. I said, don't
• 43:01
  Speaker 8: give that person the money. That person be all over
• 43:03
  Speaker 8: the internet stunting and grunting. You know they're fine. She
• 43:07
  Speaker 8: gave a person the money.
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: Didn't see it.
• 43:10
  Speaker 8: Of course you ain't getting that money that But literally
• 43:12
  Speaker 8: the next week they up in their own luxury clothes
• 43:14
  Speaker 8: and stunting, and I said, Jay, this is the person
• 43:16
  Speaker 8: I asked you for that little bit amount of money
• 43:19
  Speaker 8: and they only net flex.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: And you say, you.
• 43:25
  Speaker 7: Say when you give somebody money your family, Yeah, in
• 43:28
  Speaker 7: your heart, you need to know that you are.
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: You owe me, you owe me, and you own.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: You ask me for money. This is what I do.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: I give them half. I said, no, you don't have
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: to pay me back. I don't have to borrow no
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: money here. I'm just give you this.
• 43:47
  Speaker 7: I never say you don't have to pay me back,
• 43:48
  Speaker 7: because I want to see if you're gonna do it.
• 43:50
  Speaker 7: I give you what I can if I can't give
• 43:52
  Speaker 7: you what you want. But I never say you don't
• 43:55
  Speaker 7: have to pay me back, but you're never going to ask.
• 43:56
  Speaker 9: People have tried to pay me back, and I say,
• 43:58
  Speaker 9: you keep it.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: Like people floss, like Bobby was saying, and then they
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: come to you and burrow. So her policy is they'll
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: find a way. They found a way to pay to
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: go on that trip.
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: That trip was two years.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Ago, but that is a good balance, because I'll give
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: it to you.
• 44:20
  Speaker 9: People spend money on what they want to spend money on,
• 44:23
  Speaker 9: and then you know, they come to you and it's
• 44:25
  Speaker 9: only a certain amount of so many times that you
• 44:27
  Speaker 9: can ask.
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: I mean, it's just like, and I'm gonna take this.
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: A little further. It's about more so, oh we going someplace.
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: Oh I need to pay for this person to go?
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: And oh yeah, no, oh no, you can't say for
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: nobody else. I know that's that's not true. You know
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: that's not a.
• 44:52
  Speaker 8: But you offer saying, oh, I know they want to,
• 44:54
  Speaker 8: they just can't. That's why they didn't ask. So we
• 44:56
  Speaker 8: gotta do it for this person, that person, and this
• 44:58
  Speaker 8: person because they want to.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: They just too ashamed that I think he just wants
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: them there, which is fair. That's fair too.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: So you know, call her out in the family chat,
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: that's okay.
• 45:11
  Speaker 8: Yes, or like mom said, whatever venue they were stunting in,
• 45:15
  Speaker 8: and that's.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: Exactly you're not in the family chat. You got to
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: bring why why you gotta.
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: Thinking about something that he's look at me a say
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: so and so and they went to so and so.
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: Sho they do got money?
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Not the face, That's what I got from oh good
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: to they.
• 45:40
  Speaker 7: We talked about boundaries, and I truly believe that there
• 45:44
  Speaker 7: should be boundaries between the parents and.
• 45:47
  Speaker 4: Their adult children. We're gonna wrap it up with we
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: all feel that boundaries are.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: Important, right, and I respect you all for respecting our boundaries,
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: and I respect you.
• 45:55
  Speaker 7: All respecting our boundaries and not telling I turn it
• 46:01
  Speaker 7: over to Judge now.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: With the math is verdict. Today's math its verdict. You know,
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: our conversation was around boundaries that parents and children have
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: between each other, and most of those boundaries really emanate
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: from the mind or the heart and otherwise. The legal
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: that I've heard in this today's show was grandparents' rights,
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: and that is a legal theory that has been tested
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: for many years until the Supreme Court ruled some decades
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: ago that grandparents have no legal rights to see their grandchildren.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: So the best answer to that, treat your children right
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: so that you can get to see those grandchildren, or
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: otherwise reason with them. If nothing else, don't have to
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: buy love with the way you act or with the
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: things you do. Reason with your children so that they'll
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: understand that it is the best for everybody involved that
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: they be in the lives of their grandchildren. That's my
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: verte