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154 - What Past Guests Taught Me About Getting After It · Getting After It

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is going on.
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: My friends, welcome back to another episode of Getting After it.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Thanks for tuning in.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Today's topic is going to be a hard hitter.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I've been thinking a lot about you know what I talk about in the podcast and I feel like there's some lessons that are missed in the conversations I have with some other people.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Like for me, those are super fun to sit down and just have a conversation with them, and that typically takes an hour.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it goes an hour and a half.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I think I've hit two hours before and within that timeframe, like there's a lot that you can miss.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Even myself, like I have to go back and continually either listen to them, read the transcripts or when I'm editing clips, I'll find something that stands out and that I want to talk about.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Editing clips, I'll find something that stands out and that I want to talk about, and that's where the idea for today's episode really came from is I wanted to have an opportunity to do some own my own self reflection about the lessons that I've learned from doing this podcast, and that's what's been really cool about it is there's been numerous lessons that I've learned.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Today I want to focus on three, three very important ones that were kind of a while ago I wouldn't say too long ago but the first being that resilience is crucial for long-term success.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: The second one is the importance of reinventing yourself in times where you have to do that.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: And, third, why you need to feed your heart or your soul, whatever you want to call that.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I'll break down a couple of the lessons just from different guests that I've had, but I want to start off just by saying how cool it is that I have this opportunity, and I recognize that it is rare for people to be in the situation I'm in to, where they're able to talk to people in long form conversation and be able to have that opportunity to chat with them, to talk with them and really understand how they look at things and what their perspectives are.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: That's one area that I believe we can learn from pretty significantly from others is how they view the world, what their perspective is like, and that's where I want to go for today.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: So these lessons that I'm going to bring out, they aren't theoretical, they are lived by each of these individuals we're going to be discussing.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: They are hard-earned lessons and when I think about my own journey as a husband, as a runner, as someone who chases his own personal growth.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: They're the ones I keep coming back to and that's how I want to take this.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So let's start with the lesson one resilience in the face of adversity.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Because this is something I believe many of us, myself included, struggle with.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: How do you be resilient when all you see in front of you are challenges, you see adversity, you see trials, and during that time, you know it's also very difficult to keep a positive attitude.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: The story of Dave Daly If you haven't listened to that episode, I would highly recommend it.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: But that one really stands out to me about resilience.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Like, when I think about someone who's resilient, I think of Dave Daly, if you haven't heard that episode.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Basically, dave, he broke his neck in a boogie boarding accident.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: He was on a wave, it crashed, Something happened with his board and he just went straight into the ground and I don't actually think he did a complete break of his neck, but he basically now his spinal cord operates through a very small hole.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: You know ours is.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know how big, but I'm going to give a reference here on the video, if you're watching.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: And this is this is, you know, a normal brainstem.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: His is very narrow, um, but it's because of the trauma that he faced.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: And so in an instant his life changed and he talks about how he was in the water and he thought it was going to be his last moment, because he couldn't move, his body was not letting him move.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: He went to go move his legs and they just wouldn't.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Same with his arms, same like he couldn't turn around.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: So he was face down in the water and luckily his son-in-law came and grabbed him and took him to the shore.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: But what struck me wasn't just the scale of the injury.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Like that alone is something I can't really comprehend and I I really admire anyone who has something like that happen to them, because it's a complete life, life shift.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: You have to relearn how to do everything and Dave had to face that head on.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: He had to relearn basic tasks.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: You know how to move his legs, how to eat, how to reclaim his life again.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: And he talked about, when he was in therapy for this, that he always tried to keep a positive mindset.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: He said there were very few days where he broke down, which to me is astounding, because if I was in that situation I think it would be a different story.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I would struggle with that.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: I talk about how much I love running and I love being active, and having that taken away from you that quickly, like like Dave did, and still being able to have a positive attitude, is mind blowing to me.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Really an amazing story.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: He focused on the small daily wins during that time and instead of staring at the massive mountain ahead of him, you know having to relearn all these things.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: He took it day by day and that's what I think is really impactful from his story, because even when things were as dark as they were and as they possibly could be for Dave, he didn't lose that spark, he didn't lose that hope, he didn't lose that sight of what he wanted his life to eventually become.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Um, you know he's an amazing example of this and now he can walk.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Um.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: You know he obviously has some limitations, but hearing Dave's story really shifted something for me because suddenly my struggles, my challenges were not as severe as his, and you know that could be if you're pushing through the last few miles in a race which is difficult.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: In my sales job I face rejection on a daily basis and, um, even my own silent struggle of infertility like these all feel very small in comparison to what dave had to go through.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Like these all feel very small in comparison to what Dave had to go through, not insignificant, but reframed in my own opinion, I now look at them as, yes, they are difficult to go through, they are trials, they are challenges, but at the end of the day, it puts it into perspective that, hey, I'm still strong and healthy and Dave is one of the most strongest human beings I've met mentally.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Like I cannot comprehend to you guys what it was like talking to him, because the whole time we discussed his injury, we discussed his recovery process, it was like he was telling a story and you know, I've seen people who go through difficult things.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: They cry when they tell.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: It was like he was telling a story.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: I've seen people who go through difficult things.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: They cry when they tell stories.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: He did tear up a couple times but he was so strong and he still is so strong.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: That's why he is such a great example to me for just moving forward, for being resilient, and now I take that into.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I mentioned, you know, infertility, how that's just such a difficult thing for me to manage.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: But with that thought of Dave in mind, like, okay, well, he kept going when everything looked so dark.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: How can I apply that to my life?
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: And for me that looks like, you know, making sure I'm getting my blood drawn so the doctors can check it out, see how things are responding, trying different treatments, trying different dosages of treatments and acting as a guinea pig myself, always scheduling appointments, being proactive about it, trying to have a healthy lifestyle, everything about it.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: That goes into trying to figure out some answers for our infertility that we're going through, and it doesn't make it any less easy, but it makes it manageable.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is, if you're taking small steps forward, you're not stuck.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: And I, in my experience, the times when I am facing a challenge and I don't do anything, in that moment I don't make any progress forward.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: That's when it gets very difficult.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: And I've also faced depression.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Depression takes away all your ambition, all your motivation to do anything, and it's really hard because when you're depressed you don't want to move, you don't want to do anything, but you have to take steps forward, just like with infertility, just like with Dave's example, just like with your own training or your day-to-day life.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Like life is difficult, like this, reframing doesn't make the struggle disappear, but resilience at its core is moving through difficulty, and it's about facing that difficulty, telling yourself that this is not the end and understanding what you can be doing next to get you one step closer to whatever goal that is that you want, um.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: So that's a very important thing to remember and I, I love this, this quote, um, it ties into resilience very well, but it's run when you can walk, when you have to crawl, when you must just never give up, and that's resilience in its purest form, and that's what Dave's gift to me was that day, and I hope you too Like.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: If someone like Dave, who can face a life-changing injury, can make the most of everyday life and still find joy in the journey, even when he's recovering, then you can too, and so can I, like.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: All of us can do that.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: It's such a good example to look to, and just that's why I think it's important to go back and at least for me to listen to the podcast again so I can hear these stories, because resilience is something that I think any successful human being has.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: You have to learn to be resilient in your job and your family and your fitness goals, your own personal goals.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Resilience is always about coming back and facing whatever is in front of you with strength.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: So on to lesson number two, and this is about identity and reinvention of yourself, which is an interesting concept on its own.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I believe humans are made to progress, right.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: That's what this whole podcast is about identity and reinvention of yourself, which is an interesting concept and it's on its own, like I believe humans are made to progress, right, like that's what this whole podcast is about.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: So throughout our lives, we're going to be reinventing ourselves quite a bit.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: You know, we're going to learn or we're going to like think that we might have some habits that we could trim up, get rid of, and when we do that, we put ourselves in a position to let in other sources of we try and let in other options for us to try in our lives, like if it's hey, I have this habit where I bite my nails and it's like, okay, well, maybe you need to set some things up, but anyways, reinvention is a common occurrence in all of our lives.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Like for me, being married, I had to reinvent myself, which we'll talk about that in a second, because this story is about my brother Blake, and I love my brother Blake.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: He is an amazing example to me of someone who, yes, he's resilient as well, but he knows how to push himself.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: He is a hard worker and I really saw that firsthand when we started Swallow.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Oh man, uh, real quick, I'm drinking a diet Pepsi today.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: All you in the comments saying, hey, that's disgusting, you should be drinking Coke.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Well, real men drink Pepsi.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Just saying, going back to the story of my brother, blake, actually Blake got me into Pepsi now that I think about it, because I remember him always ordering it and I was like, dang, he's cool, he's drinking Pepsi.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So that's where it came from, I guess.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Thanks, blake, for my addiction.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And it was a journey, like it was hard, but it was so much fun in the beginning and, um, all I mean all the way through it was a lot of fun.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: But Blake and I would spend hours at the office and sometimes we'd pull all nighters.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, you know, we'd get there at six in the morning and leave at 8 PM.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: Um, we were putting in long, long hours.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: We invested so much of our time in this business, blake mainly being the main driver of that.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Like he did everything.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: He built it from the ground up, hired everybody, had the strategy of the business in place, like he was the driver of the business and it was his baby.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: It really was and it was amazing to watch his focus, his ambition, all come into play in this and see what he was able to do with starting an agency and hiring a team to do it.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: When Swallow ended, I watched him and really I don't want to call him out too much, but I saw him crumble a bit.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: He lost a part of himself that I think is really hard to get back.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: I feel like because of the business closing he lost a lot of confidence.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: He came on the podcast and he talked about how difficult it was for himself and how during that time he felt like he lost his identity.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: So he tried so many different things.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: He would mountain bike, he would go surfing, he would go camping, like tried doing so much just to fill that void.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: He was searching for something and then he found roping four years later and I remember when he first started roping years later and I remember when he first started roping uh, our family, my mom's side there were a bunch of ranchers.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: So growing up there'd be lots of rodeos my mom's side would be attending and they'd always be on horses and everything.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: And Blake grew up with horses.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: He trained them in high school and, um, he had a love for these animals, but I don't think he ever thought of it as like a profession or a job.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: And it was interesting because I watched him like, as soon as he's like, oh, I'm going to take roping lessons.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: It was funny because he'd send our group message, like him just standing there like trying to rope a dummy steer, and he's always like I just want to go ride the horse and rope.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: And what was cool about that whole experience is he found something to lose himself in again.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't an easy thing.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Roping is not easy Like you have to.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: You're on a horse and you're trying to rope a steer on the ground which is moving.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: It's going its own way.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: You have to control the horse, while controlling your arm and being all cohesive with the motion that you're doing, to try and rope that thing right.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: So it's very difficult.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: But what struck me about his whole search is that he never gave up.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: Blake was always experimenting with things and he was trying to not let failure define him, which he showed himself that that is the case.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Failure does not define who Blake Rossel is.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: He realized that a chapter had closed in his book but life had given him the pen to start writing a new one and it was just a chance for him to start something new.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And reinvention is not something that's easy.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: It often comes with fear.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: It strikes whenever you least expect it and I've had my own versions, you know, shifting from marketing to sales, evolving this podcast to be a little bit more sharper and more relevant to the audience, even learning to train differently for ultras versus a sub three marathon.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: But personally, my biggest reinvention came when I was married.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Before I married Ali, I thought being a good husband would come pretty naturally to me and I think for the most part it did.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I think I'm a good man.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I try and be there for Allie anytime I can and with anything that she needs.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: But I quickly realized I had walls up.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I was emotionally closed off and I was nervous about letting her fully into my life.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Like that's a scary thing for me.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Who's always?
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I've been more reserved my entire life.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I haven't really had the chance to open up and it gets.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: It takes a lot from me to open up to someone else.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Like I have to have a lot of trust there, not saying I didn't trust Allie Of course I did.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: But I've opened up to Allie that, sorry mom, I haven't opened up to my parents about.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: And it's not because, you know, I don't love my parents just as much as I love Allie, but it's because I'm with her all the time and I'm trying to build our life together and she's doing the same.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: But that requires you having to be emotionally available, and I'm a man, so you know men aren't the best at expressing emotions.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: No, I was going to say that's kind of a generalization, but I think that's pretty true.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Men aren't the best at expressing emotions, myself included in that.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: And so I realized that, in order to be the best husband that I could, I was going to have to make some changes in my life.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: That was going to mean tearing some walls down which scared me.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I had to open myself up to her and share what was in my mind, in my heart in its purest form.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: And in that vulnerability our marriage has flourished, oddly enough, of course, like reinvention requires some kind of sacrifice.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Right, You're giving up an old part of yourself to become something greater, to become something new, and in that little timeframe between when you give up the thing that is holding you back to the thing that you want to become.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of mental talk that you're going to go through.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: You're going to tell yourself so much that whatever you're holding onto over here is so much better than what you could potentially have over here.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: But it's not until you actually let that go and you try and experiment what that's like with this new thing that you want to add to your life.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: You have to try it out.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: You have to actually sit down and say, okay, well, how can I reinvent this, whatever it is?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: But you always fear what you'll lose in those moments, and for me it was solitude.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I love being alone.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I think that's one of the reasons I love trail running so much, and I've always loved those long stretches of time where I just had to myself, where I could read, I could write, I could work on things and sometimes I'd play video games, like just completely veg out.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: But I worried that marriage meant giving that up and in some ways I did.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I did give up a lot of my own personal time and my own free time for myself, but I gained something infinitely better and that's companionship, like, even in the silence, like just sitting side by side, we're on the couch, I'm reading a book and Allie's writing a podcast, or vice versa, like Allie is richer than solitude ever was, and so it only comes from that experience.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Like you have to try it out, give up that thing that you think you want so bad for something that's greater.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: And the first few days, first few weeks, months, maybe, might be difficult, but eventually what you had over here that you thought was so great pales in comparison to what you now gained, and for me, companionship was that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: So, man, I'm sorry Words, what would I tell someone who's stuck in an old identity?
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I would tell them to start small.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Start very, very small, to where it's comprehensible in your mind, to where it's not too overwhelming, and then try something new for three to five days, commit to those days, see how it feels and then, if that doesn't work, break it down into smaller pieces.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: If you have to change does not happen overnight, but it doesn't.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: It also doesn't happen if you never begin.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: So you have to decide what you want, and my own experience has always taught me that holding onto this old version of myself is not worth whatever potential could be risen to, and I'll give another example here.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: So running is a sometimes it's a very egotistical sport, meaning I don't want people to think I'm slow, which is so stupid.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I qualified for Boston.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: That's obviously not slow, and then that might sound really confident and cocky.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: But I mean data's, data, um.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: But with that in mind, like I've been training for an ultra marathon and I can't expect myself to go out on the trails and run sub seven minute miles when I'm doing 3000 feet elevation gain over 15 miles, that's just.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: That doesn't make sense.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: That's not going to happen.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: I'm not at that level and I'm not sure if anyone is.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: If they are, I want to know about them, because that's insane.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Um, but anyways, I have this goal of running an ultra marathon and old me is trying to hold on to the fact that I can run fast, right, that I can have these quick paces, that I qualified for Boston.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: But if I want to be a great ultra runner, I have to recognize that I need to slow down in order to get all the mileage in, because if I don't, I'm going to burn out and I'm going to hate my life, and I've been trying to slowly do that.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: I'm not great at it yet.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: But I have a 20 mile run tomorrow and my goal is to finish.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: And I told Allie, I don't care if that means I'm walking half of it, I'm going to finish the 20 miles in the mountains.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: And so that's just a quick example.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: But like I wanted to hold on to this fact that I'm fast so bad, and in doing so it it actually was a deterrent for me being successful on the trails.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: So think about things in your life like that.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean by reinventing yourself.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: And so right now I'm reinventing myself as an ultra runner.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not going after a sub three marathon, I'm not doing any of that stuff.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get the distance in.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to be the best I can in the mountains.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: With that, let's move on into lesson number three feeding the mind, body and the heart.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: And this is from Jared Lee, my buddy from work.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: But he came on the podcast and I had one of the most thought-provoking conversations I've had on getting after to this day, because he introduced me to an idea I'd never really heard before, and it's feeding the heart.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: He found that from CS Lewis, who talks about feeding the heart.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: But what does that mean?
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Well, obviously, we know how to feed the body.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: That's, you know you give yourself some good food, you exercise, you rest, you're taking care of yourself For the mind, you know you're listening to podcasts, you're reading books, you study something, you're trying to keep your mind fresh and active.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: But the heart is very different.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: That's something like compassion, a higher purpose serving others.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: That's something like compassion, a higher purpose serving others, and it's often the part that we neglect as human beings, because it's the easiest to nowadays Like we don't.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Really all you're doing is let me back up.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Really, what most people are doing is going to work every day, coming home, spending time with family, eating, going to bed right, and I do that a lot.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I fall into that window.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: What is that?
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I fall into that bucket quite a bit of someone who just tries to feed the brain and the body.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Wow, I'm having a hard time with words again, but the heart is also something that's very important.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: So how do we do that?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Well, when Jared started talking about it, it kind of clicked for me, because growth isn't just one dimensional.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: If you can only feed your body, you become physically strong, but empty.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: If you only feed your mind, you become sharp but disconnected, like you're not going to have great relationships.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: But to live fully, I've come to understand that you have to live all three and in my own life I broke down a couple things that might be some good examples for you.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: But I try to do this daily.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: So for the mind, I read something every day, like that could be a book, an article or anything that I think would sharpen me.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I try and read something For the body.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I train super hard.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I eat whole foods, I try to and I try to avoid ultra-processed foods, but, as we all know, banana Twinkies are freaking delicious.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: So is my diet, pepsi sitting right next to me.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: So I try to be good where I can.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: But the heart it's been an interesting discovery for myself Because spending time with Allie, that companionship, feeds my soul.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I pray, I study scripture and I try and serve where I can.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I try and be there for my friends.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I try and be there for my family.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: If there's someone who needs help at work or if I see them at the store, whatever the situation might be, I try and step in and serve, not out of some hey, look at me, I'm greater than you, kind of thing, but honestly it's selfish because I feel like the more that I help other people, the better I feel myself.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: I have just a better demeanor and it's interesting.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: But praying also is something that has been monumental in my own personal growth.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Because when you think about prayer yes, obviously it's a time for you to connect with God.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: If you believe in prayer, if you believe that that's what it does for me, that's exactly what it is it's time for me to have a conversation with God to tell him how I'm feeling and really think about what's bothering me.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: And like when I go and I pray and I'm praying about infertility, I will sit there and think about what in the situation I need help with and then I'll ask God.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: But that does two things for me.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: One, it feels like God and I are on the same team.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: He's got my back.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to ask him for some things and I know that it's a good desire, so I'm praying for blessings to come through that faith Scripture's.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: The same way, I've also noticed that when I pray, a lot of my questions that I have that I go to God for, can be answered in Scripture.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: The importance of prayer for me is when I pray.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: That's top of mind.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Then when I go and I study Scripture, I will notice things that I didn't before, because those things are more relevant, right?
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: So if I'm thinking about infertility and thinking about the struggle that I'm going through with Allie, then, by the way, allie doesn't have infertility, it's me.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: That's a common misconception.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: It's always the women people blame.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: But nope, this one is me.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I got no sperm guys Pretty cool.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Me.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: I got no sperm guys Pretty cool.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: And in that time, like I will go to the scriptures and I'll learn.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: You know how certain people push through difficult times, or like Moses, whatever, if it's the Bible, if it's the book of Mormon, anything of scripture, and um, I also just feel like it makes me a better person.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: And I know it might sound weird if you don't believe this stuff, but I would tell you to try it.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Uh, because there's a lot of power that can be taken from, taken from God.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: That's when you take his power, but you can accept him into your life and he will help you.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: And I'll be honest, I've gotten it wrong many times before, like with this whole balancing these three things.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Like a few years ago, when I was in college, I was so obsessed with my fitness.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: You know I'd track every single gram of food.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I would be so focused on every rep in the gym.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: My body was so strong at that time but I didn't really have relationships.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I wasn't really good friends with anyone in college.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: My mind suffered because when I was working this is so stupid when I was working on my studies, I'd always have like YouTube videos of bodybuilders in the background.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I know it sounds kind of I didn't want to say that, but it sounds kind of gay, to be honest, it's.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I promise it's not one's kind of gay, to be honest, it's.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: I promise it's not, um, dang it, I might have to edit that part out anyways.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: So my mind was so focused on fitness that I was neglecting other areas of my life and it was pretty clear to me because those things, like my relationships, my brain, they all suffered because I wasn't paying so much attention to them.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: And, um, during that time I was I still believe her in God like still believer in Christ.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: But was I doing anything to emulate that?
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: No, because I was very focused on myself during that time.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I was very selfish and that's what I realized is, you know, that lesson taught me that in those times when you have certain goals that you want to pursue or you're trying to do certain things that you think will make you a better person and a lot of the times they do but it can become so narrowed on yourself that you lose sight of other people, you lose sight of your goals.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: So it's a dangerous line to to tow.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: And balance isn't about rigid equality in all these aspects.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: And that's one interesting thing about the word balance.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: You know people say like, oh, you need to be balanced in your life.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's true.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: I think there's going to be times in your life when you're focused more on your work than your family.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: You're focused more on your family than work.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: You're focused more on your faith than work.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: Like, focused more on your faith than work, like, whatever it is, things are going to come up, they're going to take priorities, and that's what's important is having a clear understanding of your priorities, and so I would say balance is shifting attention to where it's needed while still keeping the other areas alive.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Like you still have to put wood on that fire to keep it alive, and then you know you could just throw a couple of sticks on there sometimes, or you could toss a massive log on there, but whatever it is, as long as you're keeping that that flame going, it's burning then you will make progress in those areas and it might look small in some times of your life and larger in others, but it's about managing them and keeping them a daily practice, even if it's a small thing that you do.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Here's what I would tell you.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: If you wanted to understand kind of how you think and what the you know where you're at with your mind, your body and your heart is, I would say journal about your priorities.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: You don't have to actually write it down if that's too hard for you or like you don't like to write, I would tell yourself to record yourself and just the prompt should be what are my priorities, what's important to me, and then once you identify those, you can break them down into daily actions, like for your mind, your body and your heart, because in my experience, clarity brings alignment and alignment brings growth.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: It's just understanding what's important to you and I feel like a lot of the times we feel overwhelmed with all the things that we have to do, when in reality all we need to do is take a step back and think about where we're at in each of those areas and if there's anything that we could do to improve.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: It shouldn't be a scary thing.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: It should be an exciting thing.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Three lessons from the podcast that have really shaped me were these that we've talked about today Resilience in the face of adversity, you keep hope and you never stop moving.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Identity and reinvention.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Closed chapters are not the end.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: They're a chance to begin again, feeding the mind, body and heart.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Growth is holistic and not one-dimensional.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: These are all reminders that I carry daily with me now, which I'm very blessed to be able to say I can do that and that I've had these conversations on the podcast.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Maybe the next time you face a setback or you feel stuck or you wonder why you're off balance, maybe one of these lessons will be there for you too.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Life is interesting.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: It changes all the time.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: You have to learn how to adapt, which I think is why resilience is important.
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: You have to learn how to get rid of old habits and start new ones, and you have to consistently feed those three parts of who you are, because that will make you become a better person and that will help you grow.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: I know it can happen to you.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: It's happened to all these people who have shared this on the podcast.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: It's happened to me.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: It's happened to many other people out there.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know if they listen to this, but I know these lessons can be applied to your life and help you change.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: It's not something I'm just saying to put words in the air.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: This is real stuff.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: These are people's experiences that they shared on this podcast to help people like you who might be going through something similar, who might face some similar situation in the future, whatever it is.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: They apply to everyone, including me and including you.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: So I hope these three lessons were helpful to some degree for you and I appreciate you guys for listening.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: It always means a lot to me that you guys tune in and listen to the show.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: It's not easy to do.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it requires a lot of time and energy, but it's worth it to me that you guys tune in and listen to the show.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: It's not easy to do.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it requires a lot of time and energy, but it's worth it to me, like if I can help people continue on their own progression path and make some strides that they didn't think that they could, then this is a successful podcast for me and I'm proud to be the host of the show.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: So thank you guys for listening.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: If it helped at all, please leave a rating or a comment, whatever.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: I love hearing from you guys and until next episode, everybody, keep your heads high and keep getting after it.