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Football #16: Cowboys Suck Again · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:09
Welcome inside the Treehouse Football Podcast. I'm gan O Malley along with Trey Trentholm
0:15
and Raj Sharma. Where today, in this episode, we will try to
0:21
answer the question, if the Cowboys don't bother to show up in Buffalo to
0:26
play a game, are we really required to talk about it? Seeing as
0:32
how I witnessed most of that game last night, I have many thoughts,
0:37
and so I feel like maybe we should discuss at least some of the ineptitude.
0:41
But I don't know, how do you guys feel? Is there no
0:49
is there no conspiracy theory out there that you know? Maybe because it's New
0:53
York and it's the Mob and that the Cowboys they came out there and they
0:55
warmed up and you know, it was Dak and everyone and they felt good.
0:58
And then then they all got, you know, hurried away to us
1:03
scores and have a night at the strip clubs. And they put a bunch
1:06
of scabs out there, and and that's what happened. You No, here's
1:11
how here's how it works. But I told you Vegas runs everything in the
1:12
Mob runs Vegas, right, So it showed up and there were you know,
1:17
the video the dancing, you know, on there on there. You
1:19
know the if you guys U we're talking about it. If you watch their
1:22
social media them dancing around and having a good time and what they're wearing on
1:26
the plane, and then they're in the locker room and then you know,
1:29
Vinnie the Chin comes in and it's like, hey, I need you guys
1:32
tank this by about twenty points because this is what we got. This is
1:38
how much money we got. And it's there a little brief a couple of
1:40
brief briefcases came in and they're like, hey, these are for you guys.
1:44
You don't say nothing. You'll still go to the playoffs. This will
1:48
be an embarrassment, but here's this money will will will ease the pain.
1:52
So if that's the conspiracy theory that that, I mean, if that's the
1:55
only thing I could think of. Or they were all extremely I think they
1:59
might've just had out all on the plane and they were all just extremely hungover.
2:02
It was there was they were still they were still drunk. If they
2:06
if if we're going to go that route, they were still drunk. There
2:10
was there was one story going around about how uh supposedly there was a stomach
2:16
bug making its way around the team and that maybe up to ten players were
2:21
dealing with it, which is something my wife brought up last week watching the
2:25
game when they said Micah Parsons was deal was dealing with flu like symptoms,
2:29
and She's like, and there he is on the sideline next to everybody breathing
2:32
on them. Uh. And then this week a possible you know, sickness
2:36
outbreak. It's called tequila. Tequila can also bring about flu like symptoms.
2:45
There was some other unsubstantiated rumor that a number of the players were at the
2:50
team hotel the night before and ordered a pizza and uh, somehow it was
2:54
tainted or there is this other part wait, wait, wait, wait,
2:59
what is this the Michael where we've now we now the you know the bulls
3:01
and and now yeah, this is the Michael Jackson or the Michael Jordan' flu
3:07
game was actually he was food poisoning. Well, you know, Michael Jordan
3:12
actually triumphed in his flu game, right, Yes, the Cowboys foundered.
3:16
And there is one other theory although it is a bit outland dish, but
3:22
it's the one I believe I'm going to subscribe to about the Cowboys lost to
3:25
the Bills, and that is aliens. Okay, and aliens came down much
3:31
like the Scrolls in the Marvel movies and shows, where they physically they visually
3:38
appear to be the person that they have replicated. But there's still ill coordinated
3:45
aliens that don't know a damn thing about playing American football. So that's my
3:49
theory. I have decided to subscribe to Marvel. Scrolls took over the Cowboys
3:54
and took the field for whatever reason, and and really just dropped a big
4:01
old alien turn in the middle of upstate New York. Yeah. I mean,
4:04
I'm glad you said that you watched all of it. I don't believe.
4:10
I think I fell asleep at one point. It was just that bad.
4:14
I fell asleep watching it. I could not watch all of it.
4:17
I made it through most, okay, And I believe I made it through
4:23
at least a portion of the fourth quarter, which is more than can be
4:27
said for the Cowboys players, because I think they were back on the plane
4:30
somewhere halfway through the second. Yeah, the first quarter, I made it.
4:34
I don't think I got all the way through the second. And I
4:38
woke up in like middle of the third quarter going into the fourth, and
4:43
I just couldn't. I was, I was done. I had more enthusiasm
4:47
in my sleep than those players had at the actual game. It was I've
4:55
never I don't even I'm guessing stomach bug. It has to be something,
5:00
because it had to be a collective. Hey, we're going to not play
5:02
today. Everybody good with that? Everybody good with with not playing today.
5:08
After that first series, it was a wrap. I don't know if you
5:11
just like I think Troy some textbus like there's no fire, there's no sense
5:15
of urgency, there's nothing. And I think that was after the first series.
5:18
I was like, they're they're done. This is going to be it.
5:21
And then the the I think right after that personal foul penalty when they
5:28
got the fifteen yards or whatever the thing it was fourth down and they ended
5:30
up being roughing the kicker or something like that in the first half. That
5:34
did not help things. Yeah, And right when that happened, I was
5:38
like, this is that's it, this is we can go to sleep now.
5:41
Does anybody wouldn't change the channel? What else is wrong? It is
5:45
terrible And if if the game had been even close last night, then I
5:48
would start to bag on that that It was really a poorly officiated game.
5:55
But that you're right. The Cowboys, you know, in the big moments,
5:59
just shot themselves in the foot. It was it was easy for them
6:01
to call. Yeah, it really was. And and the other thing that
6:04
that drove me nuts about that is all of it. That's what is all
6:09
of it, And that's what's so frustrating about it is is right about the
6:13
point where, and I said this on the last football episode, right about
6:15
the point where you think they may have turned a corner and that they might
6:19
actually be turning into a championship caliber team, they they pull one of these.
6:27
Yeah. I think it was when the targeting to Dak was was not
6:31
going to be called, and then the sideline kind of erupted. Right then.
6:34
I was like, that's and I prior to that hit, there were
6:40
there was a hold that was just flagrant that wasn't called, and I was
6:43
like this and then that, and then that happened. I was like,
6:46
Okay, so the officiatings on on the bill side. I get it.
6:49
It's a home field, it's a home team thing, whatever. But I
6:54
thought that the play where Micah Parsons got hurt, I thought that was really
6:58
questionable. But you know, was that guy really going for his knees or
7:01
what it was going on? Yeah, I mean there was a lot of
7:05
things that weren't getting called, and there was you know, I mean,
7:09
but again, at the end of the day, you can you can the
7:12
slame thing to do is blame the refs on that, right, like coming
7:15
in there to be like, who's their fault? No, I mean these
7:17
guys literally are professional athletes that get paid millions of dollars and they showed up
7:23
with zero enthusiasm. I don't know, it looked like they started their Christmas
7:29
vacation early. Yeah, they did at scores and then they just didn't sound
7:33
you know, I mean we can go with that. They were just hungover
7:38
and out there. But yeah, I think the reason they didn't call that
7:41
out on the Micah Parsons where you know, took out his knees because it
7:44
really wasn't Micah. It was some you know, some scrab scab that they
7:47
pulled in off the street and they don't care he's disposable. Yeah, it's
7:53
the replacements with their jerseys. Yes, So at the end of the day,
7:58
I think it is I think I think we're all agreement here that at
8:03
least for let me backtrack momentarily, I was not shocked that they lost because
8:09
this game worried me. It worried me on the schedule when it was first
8:11
released, well before the season ever started, because going to Buffalo is already
8:18
hard, especially when Buffalo's good. Buffalo has had kind of an up and
8:22
down, rocky season, but like a true playoff contender or championship contending team,
8:26
they're getting good and putting it together when they need to. And so
8:31
I wasn't shocked that they lost the game. I was just shocked at the
8:35
lack of intensity, fire, enthusiasm, whatever it is, certain sense of
8:39
urgency. That was the part that shocked me. And I'm curious, was
8:43
there any other takeaway for you guys that shocked you in this game? No?
8:48
I think you hit it like there was nothing. There was nothing there,
8:52
There was no sense of urgency, there was no money had. At
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one point, I was I just put the second team in and see what
8:58
they because they're trying, they're they're they're trying to make their name. Put
9:03
them in, see what they do at this point, because you guys don't
9:05
do it anything. So put the other guys in and let's see what they
9:09
do. My biggest the offense is what really grabbed my attention, and I
9:16
hope it was okay. They just it was just everything was off because the
9:20
other option is is that Buffalo figured out something to do to our offense that
9:24
rendered them completely inept. I mean, what was it the third quarter?
9:30
By the time we got over one hundred yards. I believe it was the
9:33
third quarter. And I think the biggest shocking thing for me from this game
9:37
was the fact that the Cowboys even managed to score a touchdown. The fact
9:41
that they got ten points. I was actually shocked by by the end of
9:43
it. Yeah, I think I think the Trey has a point. I
9:48
think at one point on the sideline, maybe somebody said, uh uh,
9:54
next, we're going to score, and they heard next, we're going to
9:58
scores, and instead of them translating that into six points, they all left.
10:07
And by the time the Cowboys realized what it like, what did you
10:11
say, Like I said, we're going to score, and then the stadium
10:13
was too loud and they heard we're going to scores, and so they just
10:16
left. And that was just a mess up on whoever was trying to hype
10:22
up the team because outside of that, I mean, I don't know if
10:24
that yeah again, it's like unless there was a briefcase of money right before
10:28
they walked out, it was like, here's this to just tank this.
10:33
It also didn't help that when that whole scores thing was mentioned that Mike McCarthy's
10:37
sitting behind the wheel of the bus saying, go hight, everybody, let's
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go a buffet in is at noon midnight. I didn't come all the way
10:48
to Buffalo to not get some eggs. At least then that would be somewhat
10:54
of an excuse there, or at least a reason or some sort of nonsense
11:00
besides the actual nonsense that was on display in that game. It really was.
11:05
I mean, I'm trying not to put a whole too much stock in
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it, because look, this happens. It's the NFL. You play a
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good team, sometimes they're just gonna get you. Even the Chiefs have have
11:16
more losses right now than the Cowboys do. The Bills, as good as
11:18
they look on Sunday, have more losses than the Cowboys do. So you
11:26
try to, you know, balance it out as a fan from saying,
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same old Cowboys, here we go again, beat up on bad teams get
11:31
the crack kick kicked out of them by good teams with you know, well
11:39
it happens, and maybe come playoff time they'll be better. Well then with
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that in mind, then what do you do? How do you come out
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of this game going into Miami who? That team is on fire? So
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how do you if you can't do that with But that's the if. That's
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the thing, like, because what the stat seven to zero at home,
12:00
three and three on the road, three and four on the road now and
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so now you're walking into Miami, who they're great? Maybe is it a
12:07
what my dad used to say, this weird thing. He's like, you
12:09
know, they're not used to playing in the cold. I'm like, could
12:13
that be it? Like maybe it's like this is too cold here? It
12:16
was It wasn't even it wasn't even Buffalo cold, like like Buffalo is walking
12:24
around, you know, in Hawaiian shirts and hula skirts before the game.
12:28
Man, this is ball me. Yeah, that was my dad's like anytime
12:31
the Cowboys lost on the road, my dad would find some weather related thing
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to it, like, you know, they don't like it when it's I'm
12:37
like to Sonny, we're in Dallas, that is a problem in the new
12:43
stadium because they didn't point at north and south. So those afternoon games,
12:46
Jerry World can get a little uh and get a little dicey when you're staring
12:50
back into the sad sun in the west end zone. I think we learned
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that in the playoff game last year. You should probably close that. And
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I'm like, no, we're we lost that. Uh but yeah, so
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that's what like. I'll look at the weather, I'm like, is it
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is it rain? And then it started raining. I'm like, well,
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this is a wrap. They're not gonna be able to the thing is though,
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there's all these excuses that were lined up that were lined up on the
13:16
road Buffalo team playing for its playoff lives. Uh, it's cold ish,
13:22
it's outside, it started to rain. The REVS calls were a little questionable.
13:28
None of those things could be legitimate factors in the game because they were
13:31
so terrible from the start. Yeah. I said, right after that targeting
13:35
call when it would have been you know, fifteen yards to our advantage,
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but then it was an offsetting penalty because the sideline erupted, I was like,
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you know what this is. They just they just don't look they just
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don't look. After that series, I was like, they don't look,
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that's done. And I tried to stay awake, but I mean by the
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beginning middle of maybe middle of the second quarter, I think I was out.
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I was already to sleep. This was so it was little, so
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terrible. And uh, who's that? Uh the Cook? Is that there
14:03
running back? Yes? James, Yeah, yeah, James Cook. That
14:09
man had the game of his career. Like that was the irony? Is
14:13
is he actually probably scored it scores after the game, scoring everywhere else he
14:20
scored on the way to the scores. You're listening to the Treehouse. Visit
14:31
us online, that Treehouse on air dot com. You're in the tree House.
14:48
Visit us online, Treehouse on air dot com. Back inside now the
14:56
Treehouse Football Podcast, And uh, trying to see as best as we can
15:01
to put that Buffalo game in our rear view mirrors very very very far behind
15:05
us as much as humanly possible, while still hope, hopefully learning something from
15:09
the game to apply moving forward. But speaking of forward, is you go
15:13
from a difficult road game in Buffalo to a difficult road game in Miami with
15:18
another one of the top AFC teams and they didn't look good last week.
15:28
You don't know if they're going to be good, you know, in Miami.
15:30
But the good news is at least it's warmer in Miami. Yeah,
15:37
I mean it is Miami that's come with. If they got had distractions in
15:43
Buffalo, then South Beach is going to create a whole other set of issues.
15:48
Yeah, I mean, I didn't even think about that. You're right.
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Do you think if you were a part of the Miami PR team,
15:54
you would go out of your way sort of like an over zealous airbn be
16:00
host and put suggested things to do inside the binder pamphlets in the players hotel
16:06
rooms, saying like, oh things to do and see, you know while
16:10
while you're here in Miami, such as a book full of Instagram models on
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South Beach just waiting for a good time. I just think, you know,
16:19
it's hookers and eight balls in every room for the Cowboys, you know
16:26
what? That right there? That right there. We have found it the
16:30
difference between the nineties Dynasty Cowboys. In every team that has followed the nineties
16:36
Dynasty Cowboys could mow through drugs and hookers with no problem and still show up
16:41
to win the game the next day. Not these current teams the next day.
16:45
These guys are doing that. In halftime, Jerry was cutting up lines
16:51
and they're like, you guys look great out there. Hell, if you
16:55
look really close at the bottom of those dog piles, that's just somebody dropped
17:00
their bag. That's not a fumble. That's not a party foul. Got
17:10
a hooker at an eight ball. For those nineties Cowboys teams, that would
17:12
have gotten them for like the first forty five minutes, and then it'd be
17:17
like one of those videos where you know it was like everyone else has passed
17:19
out and strewn about, and then you know it's like a cloud of smoke
17:23
and then just here comes you just see Michael Irvin and a fur line jacket,
17:27
just walking through going what's next? And just a fur line jacket,
17:33
nothing else, no pads, no pants. Yeah, if I was,
17:41
if I was the Miami PR team, I'd be like things to do while
17:45
in Miami and just have a lobby full of women. Uh, things to
17:49
do here? You goudy just come downstairs. Uh and you got it?
17:56
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, if you're gonna if Buffalo,
18:00
I mean, if you got distracted in Buffalo. Like, first of all,
18:03
that tells me, you can get distracted in Columbus, Ohio or Missouri.
18:11
Sure, that's what that tells me, Like Miami will If Buffalo distracted
18:18
you, Miami will kill you. Like that's that's how that will work.
18:22
Half this team is not coming back if that's what the distractions are. But
18:26
I mean, on a serious note, like Miami looks really good and you're
18:30
dealing with. To me, Miami is one of those they're they're like the
18:33
Cowboys when they're really good, My god, watch out. They might throw
18:38
up seventy points. On the other hand, just last week they lost at
18:41
home to Tennessee. So yeah. But I mean, I think the consistent
18:48
thing with Miami is Tyreek Hill. Like he week after week, I mean,
18:52
regardless of the rest of the team, week after week, that guy's
18:55
on fire and he's fun to watch. He's explosive. And again I'm going
19:00
back to the Buffalo game. Well, you know, the Cowboys led with
19:03
explosive plays, that's what they were saying. They led the NFL with explosive
19:07
plays, and then they had zero in the entire game against Buffalo, and
19:12
Tyreek Hill usually has at least one a big play in almost every game.
19:18
And so if they if they got if they if they shut down on a
19:22
penalty call or on you know whatever it is that they shut down in Buffalo,
19:27
then they're going to shut down when Tyreek Hill blows past them. Yeah,
19:30
any any explosive plays from Buffalo would have you would have seen brown spots
19:33
on their pants, see something. Maybe they didn't want to have any explosive
19:42
plays, right, because that's what it would have been, Like, Hey,
19:45
we've got to be more explosive out there, like coach, you don't
19:47
understand. We can get explosive if you need, if you need us to.
19:52
But this is gonna be like that again in the replacements with the eggs,
19:55
Like this is going to be coach, this is America's Game of the
20:00
week on Fox, and we all don't want to be doing the ass fountain
20:03
in the middle of it. Little did everyone know, but because of that
20:07
stomach bug flowing through the team, they were all wearing butt plugs. Or
20:15
you want to talk about a conspiracy because you know, now Dak is you
20:18
know a big sponsor is that you know colon guard where you know you crap
20:21
in a cup and it tests for colon cancer. So this was one big
20:23
marketing scheme. Look, you can ship your pants in Buffalo and find out
20:30
you've got colon cancer or not. I'd much prefer that. Just just keep
20:37
it at the p s A. Don't let it cross over into the game.
20:42
Also, ass Fountain is probably the name of a strip club in Miami,
20:45
so you know there might be one regardless or at least, you know,
20:55
the second dance for some you know, big time performer ladies run a
21:07
two song rotation. I just hope they look better in Miami. Look,
21:17
I mean at this point, you know, like they mentioned during the game
21:19
yesterday, and I saw the news before the game on Sunday, Cowboys were
21:25
able to clinch a playoff spot even you know, before kickoff against Buffalo.
21:29
And I want to see some urgency in this game in Miami because I don't
21:34
think that they should have needed a reminder that they can get their ass kicked
21:38
at any given time on any given Sunday type of situation, because I would
21:42
have hoped that that reminder against San Francisco earlier in the year would have sufficed.
21:48
But if they needed one more, fine, But you better turn it
21:52
on starting now. Well, I mean if if you I mean, if
21:56
they got if the news was announced, like like you said, you know,
21:59
they they've already clinched the playoff spot, and that if that news got
22:02
into the locker room before the game, don't you think they would go,
22:06
hey, let's just stay healthy, like we don't need to win this.
22:08
If that's the case, then don't play. If that's the case, then
22:11
they don't have Zach Martin out there in the first place to actually get hurt
22:15
or anybody else for that matter. You either you either show up and play,
22:18
because what happens is if you play. You're also talking about, Yeah,
22:25
they got that news, but they also meant they were in the run
22:27
for the first round by of the playoffs because with the best record, which
22:33
yeah, you would think that might have given them enough motivation to go,
22:37
all right, you know what, we can at least get we can get
22:38
a week off in between, you know, starting the playoffs and get all
22:41
healthym But but they took the week off last night, so they started.
22:47
They started like dancing, They started Christmas early. They're like, hey,
22:49
we already got a playoff spot. I'm gonna I'm gonna not I'm not gonna
22:53
play I'm not gonna do anything. I'm not gonna exert any energy. I'm
22:57
not gonna do anything out you know, I'm not gonna go above and beyond,
23:00
which is what your job is. Is what you got. You get
23:03
paid millions of dollars for. It's what you guys will hold out, you
23:06
know, and sit sit at home for contract disputes and then you show up
23:11
and you find out, oh, we're going to the playoffs regardless of a
23:12
winner or not or not. So let's just, you know, let's just
23:15
kind of half ass, not even half ass, like, let's no ass
23:18
this. That's exactly what it was. There was there was no ass at
23:22
the ass fountain. That sounds like a disclaimer that should be on the outside
23:29
of the club. Listen, no ass in the ass Fountain. I'm just
23:33
hoping that that's not the headline next week, the day after the Miami game,
23:41
No ass in the as Funtain for the Cowboys. Yeah yeah, but
23:48
you know I think that again, that could have been it too. I
23:52
didn't even think about it, but if they got the news in the locker
23:55
room before the game, like hey, we already clinched the spot in the
23:57
in the playoffs. That to me one of those things that if that mattered
24:02
to them, and that's the performance state put out after hearing it. This
24:06
team, this team has no what did they say in a Major League two
24:08
Trey with what's his name Takata from Japan? He opens up his little book
24:12
and he says, you have no marbles and he starts doing a hand thing
24:15
around his balls. That's the one thing I kept thinking about watching the watching
24:19
the Buffalo game, is that this team has no balls. And I'm hoping
24:23
that they find them sometime between now and kickoff against Miami. I just hope,
24:30
I hope Raj is right and that you know, they did find out
24:36
that they were making the playoffs, you know, regardless before the kickoff.
24:38
And then it just became you know, Mike McCarthy's running towards the bus.
24:44
Last one, you know, it was a rotten egg. Let's go to
24:47
the buffet on the team about legs and eggs. It's in Buffalo, they
24:56
don't know any better. But yeah, again, it just, uh if
25:03
that if that news got to that, I that's one of those things that
25:06
you keep to yourself, Oh oh what go trick? Just you know,
25:11
a bottle of strip club is probably drift, some hookers outside of a waffle
25:15
house, some lot lizards, and a bucky. I like. I like
25:26
that they're outside the waffle house. You gotta standards stand no, no,
25:33
no, we know what you're kind in. I would like to just point
25:48
out that this is part of the reason why I love doing this show with
25:51
you guys, is that even after a really crummy loss and the Cowboys kind
25:56
of put me in a sour mood, I feel a little bit better.
25:59
So thank you, we all do. Yeah, it's weird how Cowboys fans
26:07
we get heat around because I don't know how often you travel to different places
26:10
and hear people bitch about Cowboys fans. One of the main gripes I hear,
26:12
like, we heard this the other day in Mississippi. I don't like
26:15
Cowboys fans because they cheer for every little good thing their team. Oh my
26:19
god, how awful for our team doing well. Yes, we're happy they
26:22
gained the yard because we're used to them losing fifteen, So yeah, we're
26:26
gonna be happy that they went forward for a change, But we certainly know
26:33
how to not only praise our team when they do just one tiny thing good,
26:37
but you're not gonna find I think any fan base better at just trouncing
26:41
on their own own team the way that we can. Yeah, we we
26:47
I'm gonna set this up for you, Trey. You know, we're really
26:49
good at taking it on the chin outside the waffle house when I when I
27:02
thought of it, I was like, I'm just say it anyway. But
27:04
it is some kind of back screaming smothered and covered, smothered than cover.
27:10
And he wasn't talking about that. He's talking about the hooker and Lot three