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C.K. (Kelly) Collins - The Swipe Right Effect · Postcards to the Universe

0:07
Welcome to Postcards to the Universe with Melissa Capria. Do you believe in magic?
0:14
What if you were told that all you had to do was get a
0:17
little creative and work a magic spell to bring anything you can imagine into your
0:22
life. Here on Postcards to the Universe, we will share manifesting tips,
0:28
postcards, creativity, abundance, and prosperity. Here is your host, Melissa
0:34
Capria. Hey everyone, and welcome to Postcards to the Universe with Melissa Creating
0:43
the Life you crave. It's Wednesday. How'd you guys doing today? I
0:48
hope you're doing well. Turn well down here in sunny South Florida. It's
0:53
a thousand degrees. But other than that, we're all good. Thank God
0:56
for Acy is all I have to say. So today I'm a really cool
0:59
life, a really cool guest. She's author C. K. Kelly Collins,
1:03
and she's going to join me in just a few minutes, and we're
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going to be talking a lot about her book and the inspiration behind her book,
1:12
The Swipe Right Effect. So stay tuned and she's going to join me
1:18
here in just a few So for those of you who listen to me on
1:23
a regular basis, welcome. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you
1:26
listening and tuning in each week. It means the world to me and I
1:30
hope you keep coming back. And for those who are finding me for the
1:34
first time, I want to welcome you. Thank you so much for being
1:38
with me today, and I hope you come back also. And if you
1:42
are listening to the show live for the first time, or if you happen
1:47
to catch it on a replay, we do always put the shows up on
1:51
a replay if you miss it live going down in the future, So anytime
1:56
you want to hear a show, you can always find it. So a
1:57
little bit more about me. I'm an author, I'm an artist. I'm
2:01
a photographer, and I have a book and it's titled Postcards to the Universe.
2:06
Harness the Universe's power and manifest your dreams. And in my book,
2:10
I share stories of people people's manifestation. So they created a manifesting postcard and
2:19
that's kind of like a mini vision board and they sent it to me and
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I photographed it. So the book has thirty stories and it my photos and
2:27
they're manifesting stories when their stories became the reality. So I shared that in
2:31
the book, and I have a bunch of writing exercises, and it helps
2:35
us get clear on the things that we want to manifest. And there are
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so many fun things to do to manifest in areas of love and money and
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health and career and so much more. So it was really cool about doing
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the book is that people would send me their manifesting postcard, and you know,
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depending on what was going on in their life, how big their manifestations.
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Some people's things just manifested immediately, and some of course took weeks months,
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you know, And then I would get the you're never going to believe
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would happen, and everything I put down on the card came true, and
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so then I would say, well, can I share your story, and
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of course everybody pretty much said yeah. So that's how the book manifested.
3:19
And if you're interested in reading these really cool journeys of transformation and inspiration,
3:25
you can find it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble dot com, or if
3:30
you can, go to your favorite bookstore and they will get you a copy
3:32
if it's not already in the store, So please check it out. I
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keep asking each week for people to send me a manifesting postcard and if you
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want to know how to create one, just go to Postcards City Universe dot
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com and I tell you how to do that. And if you join my
3:52
movement, I send you a postcard toolkit. And also there's another free gift
3:55
about manifesting. It's like twenty pages how to manifest. So yeah, that's
4:01
all you have to do is just sign up if you're interested. Okay,
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So, if you're on Facebook, I have a group. It's called Postcards
4:09
of Love and it's just uplifting stuff. So if you like Facebook like I
4:13
do, you know, and you like to be a part of groups that
4:15
are fun and uplifting, check out Postcards of Love and you can share.
4:19
Okay. So I wanted to make an announcement and I made it last week
4:25
in its official and you're going to hear during the commercial from the who I'm
4:31
working with, which is fine Uniquely You dot com. So you'll hear that
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commercial during my break. But I started My workshop is starting officially Thursday,
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July twentieth. It's going to run for five weeks and it runs six to
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eight pm Eastern Time, and it's titled Manifesting through Gratitude of Visual Journey so
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living a grateful and creative life is about following our hearts and embracing more things
4:59
that light us up the inside. It's about seeing all the wonderful things that
5:02
we already have in our lives. Many times we forget to see what is
5:06
right in front of us. By finding the courage to prioritize, nurture,
5:11
and express our creativity, we add more play and joy in daily life,
5:15
and we get to experience what we love and cherish in greater depth. When
5:19
that happens, the universe has a wonderful way of surprising us with even more
5:26
magic. In this workshop, we're going to cover living in gratitude by using
5:30
writing exercises and doing a daily visual gratitude practice using our camera phones to help
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us get into alignment with the energy of abundance. Each section is going to
5:44
focus on one area of our life to be grateful for. So Week one,
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I'm going to talk about focusing on worthiness and self love. Week two
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covers health and wellness. Week three looks at our money story and our financial
5:57
abundance. Week four we go into our personal relationships and that's family, friends,
6:02
and of course romance. And then the final week is going to be
6:05
dedicated to a personal check in, So we're going to share experiences and you
6:11
know what came up with us during our work and doing this visual journey.
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And of course there's going to be open at Q and A, so anybody
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has any questions will go over that. In the last week, so I
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give writing exercises in each area, and I give daily tips, simple and
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fun creative projects and photo prompts. And this is where it really helps you,
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because it helps us shift our thinking as we see around us those things
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that we already have in our life, and we start living in gratitude by
6:39
feeling inspired and finding more joy. And at the end of each class there's
6:44
going to be an open discussion and a time for questions and answers and students.
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Of course, I will be giving homework to fulfill during the week,
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which includes learning how to make a manifesting postcard for each section of the course,
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and at the end of the workshop, students will be required to submit
7:00
their workbook and manifesting postcards to me. So the goal is that everyone who
7:06
takes this workshop will feel inspired to continue on their journey, filled with gratitude
7:12
in their lives, a sense of purpose and well being in all area of
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our life is the goal to finding joy, and I have found gratitude to
7:20
be the most powerful and effective way to do that. So I hope that
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you guys check it out, look at it, sign up and join me
7:33
and doing it because I'm super excited. It's online so you can be in
7:38
the comfort of your home, So if you want to find out more,
7:42
just go to find FI n D uniquely U n I q U E L
7:48
YU just the letter you not you, JUSTU dot com forward slash Melissa Caaprio
7:56
and you'll see all the information. So I hope to see you there.
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Okay. Each week I share a magical message and I post them on my
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social media's. It's an image of a manifesting postcard with an affirmation that I
8:07
like to focus on, and I usually go into you know the affirmations and
8:13
how you know what the affirmation means to me. It's something I believe affirmations
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are a great way to make a new belief in our lives. So this
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week's magical message is keep the will in you. Basically, I'm not going
8:30
to get into it too long because I've been talking a lot about gratitude because
8:33
of the workshop. But basically, keep the will in you means stay inspired,
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stay passionate about what it is in your life that motivates you and that
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you love. Right, make sure that you do something that you love that
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you find inspiring every single day, even if it's only for fifteen minutes a
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day, it just keeps that spark going inside of us. So that's what
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I wanted to share with you guys. And you can always see my magical
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messages on any of my social media and everything I do is under postcards to
9:07
the universe, So I like to photo those. I like to photograph those.
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It's a lot of fun for me. All right, now to get
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to my guest today. C k or Kelly Collins was an award winning publisher
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and owner of a hyper local news publishing company. She sold her company and
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retired from the industry. Believing that travel feeds the soul and grows the heart
9:31
and mind, Collins on a one year traveling sabbatical, she wrote her book
9:37
The Swipe Right Effect, The Power to Get Unstuck. It's a non fiction
9:43
creative memoir that highlights great wisdom from friends both home and abroad. After experiencing
9:50
a significant loss Kelly was searching for her new life, her new joy,
9:54
and a new love. She chose to do the hard work to heal and
9:58
found a new path empowerment. She chose to swipe right for herself. This
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book is about swiping right for yourself, your new life, your hopes,
10:07
and your dreams. The Swipe Right effect was borne out of gratitude for all
10:11
the grassroots support and wisdom shared with Kelly in her own recovery from divorce.
10:16
She shares stories from her personal journey and interviews with ten special friends who shared
10:22
their hearts. The interviews include stories of pain and renewal from many forms of
10:28
loss, loss of friendship, child, espouse, health, and marriage.
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Their unifying hope is that in reading their stories, you will find your way,
10:37
your power, and your joy. Each chapter also contains an empowerment practice
10:41
tried to tie to the story so that the reader can work through challenges in
10:46
their own lives. These practices include meditations, visioning tools, reframing mythology,
10:54
methodology, gees, and affirmation guides that provide a path for word for those
11:00
feelings stuck in their lives. So to find out more about her, if
11:05
you go to her website Www dot c K Collins c O, L L
11:09
I N S dot co and you can read all about Kelly. Thanks Kelly
11:16
for being here with me today. Oh, thank you for having me.
11:20
I'm excited to talk to you. We have so much in common, it
11:22
sounds like it. So I love that you said that the swipe right effect
11:28
was born out of gratitude, right, because people forget to be grateful,
11:33
I think, I mean, we take for granted a lot of the stuff
11:35
that we already have in our lives. Right. We forget how lucky and
11:39
blessed we are. So it's nice to focus on what we already have to
11:45
be grateful for us. So why don't you share a little bit about who
11:48
you are and your journey Because you went through a divorce and then that's what's
11:54
caused all of this internal searching, and that's what this and you started traveling
11:58
and then all the was born. So I'll give you the floor. Thank
12:03
you so much, Melissa. Yeah, in twenty seventeen, I went through
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a big trifecta of change. My youngest daughter graduated from college, and my
12:18
thirty one year marriage was ending badly and badly, and which resulted in me
12:26
selling my company which I had built over eight years and almost nine years,
12:33
and it just had to be sold. And so all these things that had,
12:39
you know, incrementally over time become who I saw myself as and who
12:45
how I thought the world saw me as they were all gone. And yeah,
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that's a lot. It was a lot. And I stayed with the
12:56
company that bought my company for three years, and then I retired from the
13:01
news publishing business in twenty twenty one, and that's when I took the sabbatical.
13:07
I had done a lot of searching already. I knew that staying with
13:13
that company wasn't the right thing for me. I needed something new. I
13:18
knew it was meant for something different, and so I took the travel sabbatical.
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And while I was doing that, I was diligently working to deepen my
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gratitude practice. Because if you're completely focused on what you're grateful for, you
13:35
really don't think of anymore. Through that practice, you don't focus anymore,
13:39
you don't give it any attention, what you don't want and what pass.
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So if you can stay focused on that gratitude, there's no room for the
13:52
bad stuff. And but through that gratitude practice, while I was traveling,
13:58
I started saying, thinking about Okay, I'm thankful for this friend and when
14:03
she said that to me, it was a turning point in my life and
14:07
I'm grateful for that. And then this friend said this to me while I
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was while we were on that hike, and when she said that to me,
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I kind of got upset. But three months later I realized what she
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meant, you know. And so I compiled all of those stories and all
14:24
of that advice and the book, and so each chapter, like you interviewed
14:30
people. That's why I was laughing, because I was like, yeah,
14:33
same, Each chapter is the piece of advice I was given, you know,
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what was going on in my life when they gave it to me.
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And then I interviewed them and they share how they learned that piece of advice.
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And sometimes they share what they saw in me that made them speak up,
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you know, or they related enough to say, yes, it really
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hurt me too when that happened, and help me to heal by doing this.
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And you know, one as a vision board, one of a gratitude
15:05
practice. One is a self love mantra, I am enough, I am
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more than enough, you know, And it's it's some very practical things that
15:15
you can do, but when you're hurting, it's not easy to see those
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things. And so I just kind of wanted to build a toolkit that people
15:24
could read it and follow the empowerment practices and it would be, you know,
15:30
along the healing journey. And it's it's not just for people who've been
15:33
divorced, it's also for people who like I have a friend who lost a
15:37
child that I interview, and a friend who lost her husband cancer, and
15:43
then a friend who lost her husband in a very traumatic accident, and so
15:50
there's there's a lot of different types of stories of loss and and you know,
15:56
this wipe Bride is obviously a play on day apps, but what I
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mean by that is, you know, just swiping right for yourself like you
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like you read before, is about doing this work and choosing yourself. And
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you know, if you don't choose yourself and you don't work on yourself,
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you're robbing the world of who you are, because if you stay in that
16:22
dark place and you don't make the choice to come out, you actually are
16:26
making a choice. You're making a choice to stay where you are. And
16:30
so I just want to keep the conversation going about making the choice to choose
16:34
yourself, to love yourself, to move forward in life, get unstuck.
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I mean the effect of swiping right for yourself is you take your power back.
16:45
Yeah, No, I love that. I mean very similar messages,
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just different. That's what I love about doing this show and meeting all the
16:52
people that I meet, because a lot of us have very similar messages,
16:56
right, but we each come at it from a different way from our own
17:00
experience and in whatever interests us. And you know, there's always going to
17:07
be somebody, whether it's my story or your story or someone else's story,
17:10
that's going to resonate with somebody who's going to say, oh, yeah,
17:12
you know that speaks to me, right, Because it's true, it's always
17:18
an inside job. We have to fix ourselves first, right, so that
17:22
we can be what we need and we want to be for those that we
17:27
love. And it is hard when you're in pain. It's funny that you
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said you had the trifecta, because I had a trifecta also, and that's
17:37
what inspired the whole journey to Postcard. So it was a divorce, it
17:44
was a major move and then leaving a job that I absolutely loved, so
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it was really difficult. I just didn't have a kid going off to college,
17:56
so um yeah, and I was her really really bad. And I
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know you were too. I mean I wasn't married as long as you.
18:03
Oh my god, I mean I can't even imagine after thirty one years finding
18:08
your new normal. So so when you started, okay, so you you're
18:15
going through this now. Obviously all these wisdom and these words of wisdom haven't
18:19
just magically appeared. You have to go through the dark night and find the
18:25
ways you're healing. Like what did you do right away? Like what where
18:29
did you start? Did you start by reading and studying other people's work or
18:33
what what did you do to kind of try to help yourself when you were
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in the midst of your pain. Well, at first I made mistakes,
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yeah, right, and then you've been there. I am so not perfect.
18:48
I didn't start reading, you know, some amazing book and all of
18:52
a sudden I started feeling better. I made all the mistakes. First.
18:56
I dated way too fast. I looked for validation through dating and yeah,
19:00
you know, somebody finding me attractive and I really you know, but I
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listened when my friends were saying, you know, you have to love yourself
19:10
or you're not going to be You're going to end up with somebody that's not
19:15
who you want to be with. And I, you know, I listened
19:18
to gradually, but I will tell you the first thing I did that was
19:22
completely life changing, which I did. I made the decision just weeks after
19:27
the betrayal of in my marriage came out. I decided to hike the Camino
19:32
de Santiago, which is a spiritual hike in Spain. It's a five hundred
19:37
mile hike through the French Pyrenees in northern Spain. And I did that in
19:45
April and May, when part of June to Dot Night. So I made
19:51
the decision in December of seventeen, just weeks after everything came out, and
19:56
then four months I trained for four months. My mom was turning seventy five
20:02
and receiving a Lifetime Achievement award, so I booked my flight the day after
20:07
she got that award and had her birthday, and I was gone for seven
20:11
weeks, and I had to go through the experience of getting my business ready
20:18
to run without me, which I completely had the hero complex, so I
20:25
didn't think it could run without me. But I learned to let that go
20:27
and right but on that journey, I connected with a lot of people who
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showed me a new way to see myself, a new way to live,
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a new way to listen, a new way to accept and be accepted.
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And it was It was just literally the best thing I've ever done for myself,
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And the second best thing I ever did for myself was I did it
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again. Did you My friend wants to do it and she's been thinking about
20:59
it. It's funny that you said it was life changing. Huh. Oh,
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my gosh. Yeah, connect her with me and I will help her,
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Okay, I will. I will say. People say, oh,
21:11
I'd love to talk to you about the Camino, and I say, under
21:14
one condition, and that is you understand, I will try to talk you
21:18
into going. It was so life changing for me, and I was so
21:23
much stronger when I came home. And yes, I had terrible setbacks and
21:29
triggers and all of that, and I still do sometimes because betrayal is a
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really hard thing. It's kind of a journey to get past it. But
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I do think that that was the best thing I did, and I learned
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along the way to start seeking in a way I had never I didn't believe
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I had time for because I was raising my kids, I was starting a
21:55
business and running and building a business. I was married, and all of
22:00
a sudden, I had time to focus on myself. So when you were
22:04
doing the hike, I imagine you're dealing with a lot of emotions, probably
22:11
because you have a lot of time. As you're is, it's got to
22:14
be physically hard on your body. You know, you're in your own head,
22:17
you're working things out, you know, you're you're thinking of things,
22:21
emotions are coming up. How was it very cathartic? Like like like,
22:29
I don't I don't know the right question to ask, Like is it So
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I'm picturing you hiking, and I'm picturing it being, you know, at
22:36
moments hot and hard and difficult on your body, and you feeling all these
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things and like busting out in tears Like that's just how I feel like I
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would be going through it. Yeah, all of that happened, for sure.
22:49
I think the thing that was most impactful to me, besides being able
22:53
to cry it out and stand in the middle of a wine vineyard and screen
22:57
you know, like um, was you know where nobody is around here?
23:03
You, and um was I would meet strength complete strangers from all over the
23:10
world Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, Australia, you name it, um and
23:15
and American. But as you begin down that path, or the many many
23:23
paths, you realize all of these other people are also here, seeking,
23:30
searching, trying to find an answer to a question. And you know,
23:36
my question was who am I going to be now? Because everybody that I
23:42
or all the different ways I saw myself other than daughter and sister, everything
23:48
in my life had changed. I was no longer a wife, I wasn't
23:52
an at home mom or you know, a needed mom. They were adults
23:56
and and it was just like, who is this new me? And there's
24:00
this funny thing on the trail, like you you walk and you kind of
24:03
passed somebody and you're like hey, hey, and then you again, and
24:08
then you see him again, and you'll see him at lunch and they start
24:12
talking like, Hey, I'm Kelly, I'm from Tennessee in the United States.
24:17
Where are you from? I'm Kiki from Sweden, and you know,
24:22
and then it's always where did you start? How far are you going on
24:26
the trail? And U and then why are you here? And that why
24:33
are you here a question? At first, I was just overwhelmed, like
24:38
it would take me hours to tell you why I'm here because I've been through
24:41
so much. But then you kind of realize everybody's been through something or they
24:45
wouldn't be here. And so these people showed me and taught me the biggest
24:52
life lesson, which was to listen, and to listen without inserting myself,
24:59
to with compassions, to listen with patience. And I learned to do that
25:07
for them as well. And and it just was like this almost like a
25:12
counseling atmosphere where I learned to not say, oh, I know exactly how
25:18
you feel, or I had that happened to me too. It didn't matter
25:22
to them that that had happened in my life or that I'd had that experience.
25:26
They just needed me to listen. And I had to learn the humility
25:33
and the patience to be that for someone. And I when I came home
25:38
with that skill, was a better mother. I was a better boss,
25:41
I was a better sister, it was a better daughter. I was a
25:45
better friend, and it was it was life changing for me. But you
25:51
know, there was all of those hard things you said, But yeah,
25:55
I'm sure. I'm sure there was. I imagine, I imagine, and
26:00
I just see we're gonna be coming up to a break here in like a
26:02
few seconds. But I imagine that most of the people you met were not
26:07
young, were more towards middle aged. I'm just gonna just gas or is
26:12
that wrong? Were they closer to middle age? Yeah, I would say
26:17
forty up with the majority that there were like young college kids there more on
26:22
an adventure. Yeah. Yeah, well I would think that because you know,
26:26
it's the second half of your life. We're reinventing ourselves, right,
26:29
So much happened, so yeah, all right, so let's take our break
26:33
here and then I have so many more questions for you when we come back.
26:37
So you guys, stay tuned and I will be back in just a
26:38
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Caaprio from Postcards to the Universe. Creating the life you crave. Do you
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believe in magic? What if I told you all you had to do is
28:48
get a little creative and work a dream spell to bring anything you can imagine
28:52
into your life. Well, guess what I've got the spell for you.
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Postcards to the Universe, a global move for manifestation, is a casting magical
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to you? Join me in my movement where you get to create in the
29:10
magical playground. Let's stink outside the box and do some playful conjuring by casting
29:15
out our desires with a manifesting postcard, we explore our hearts and allow the
29:21
alchemy of our dreams to appear. And don't forget to tune in each week
29:25
here on Home Time's Radio with my show Postcards to the Universe, Creating the
29:30
Life you crave at four pm Eastern Time, I share chips on creativity,
29:34
abundance and prosperity, and you will be introduced to the coolest guests, trailblazers,
29:40
mystics and creatives who enrich our lives. Welcome back. So if you're
29:52
just joining me, I have c. K. Kelly collins On and she's
29:56
an author talking about her experience that brought her to write her book, The
30:00
Swipe Right Effect, The Power to Get Unstuck. So, Kelly, Um,
30:07
when you were on your hike and you the Camino and and you were
30:12
you were meeting a lot of people. Are a lot of those the people
30:15
that you met abroad that are in your book and you went back and share
30:19
and interviewed them and got their stories. Yes, three of them are from
30:27
the my travels abroad, one lady from Canada that I met on the Portuguese
30:33
Camino route, one lady from South Africa, and another from Sweden. And
30:40
how did they feel about Like, what did you say, like, I'm
30:42
writing this book about um, it's more about self love than anything else.
30:48
Would you share your story with me? Would you feel comfortable? Like how
30:52
did you approach that? Yeah? I set up a zoom meeting with each
30:56
one of them, said I've got something big that tell you, you know,
31:00
And so of course they came on and it was wonderful to, you
31:04
know, to reconnect because we had bonded so deeply on the community. And
31:11
I just said, you know, when you said this to me, when
31:14
you said, have you ever had a vision board? And I said,
31:19
I laughed, and I said no, and I rolled my eyes like a
31:22
like a brat, and you you didn't back down. You said take out
31:30
your phone, and you know, because I was like, well, I
31:32
don't happen to have a court board or a poster in my backpack, and
31:36
she was like, you don't need any of that. Open your phone,
31:38
open the notes app, and start writing down words of things that you love,
31:42
think them and then all right, now write down places you want to
31:47
go and things you want to do. And that was life changing for me.
31:52
That was like on day three, my friends from Sweden and so I
31:57
called I, you know, got on the zoom there and I said,
32:00
you changed my life and I want to say thank you, and I want
32:04
to pay it forward by explaining to other people what you taught me. And
32:08
every one of them was like, absolutely, let's do it. And they
32:13
were super open and sharing their their past and they're you know, they're good,
32:19
the bad, and ugly. And one of the things I did promise
32:22
them was anonymity. And so each one of them, because I'm from Nashville,
32:28
Tennessee, where country music is you know, or well all music is
32:31
king, but especially country music, and so I gave each one of the
32:37
interviewee a country music star name. So you you hear from Dolly and Shanaya
32:44
and Lotta love that. Yeah, yeah. So that was part of the
32:50
promise, and part of the deal was I provided anonymity and some of them
32:53
have come out on their social media and said, you know that's me there
33:00
now. I love that she said that, And that happened so early in
33:04
your trip. Because people don't realize the power of the writing down in the
33:12
things that we want, you know, to experience or the things that we
33:15
want. I use the word manifesting in our life, like how powerful that
33:20
is. And that's part of the reason that I created the course. And
33:22
because I'm a photographer, I'm like, hey, we all have camera phones.
33:28
We could start taking photos to get a visual to go with what we're
33:31
talking about, right, to even bring it even more powerful into our lives.
33:37
About the vision boarding, So it is kind of like a gratitude vision
33:40
board, you know, a journal at the end of the of the of
33:45
the course. But when you started your travels and you're just writing down on
33:47
your notes, that's it. That's all you needed to do to start casting.
33:52
I always call it like you're casting a spell, you know, to
33:55
bring more of that into your life. I love that. Yeah. Yeah,
34:00
And it affected more than just me because I got so excited. I
34:07
started sharing with everybody I met, Hey, do you do vision boards?
34:10
And I was like, or, yes, I've always done vision boards.
34:15
Did you know you could just make a list of words you know, doing
34:19
it and we would share, we'd share notes and we'd be and they like,
34:22
oh, yeah, I like, um, I like when a guy
34:25
kisses my hand. And I was like, oh, I like when a
34:28
guy kisses behind my ear, and we'd add it to our list. I'm
34:30
right, everything from yeah, where you like to be hugged or you know
34:37
whatever I mean, it's yeah, it's uh. It was empowering to realize
34:44
I had so much more life ahead of me, so much to look forward
34:51
to, so much that I had already to be grateful for, you know.
34:55
Yeah that It just was so much more than a list. The word
35:00
that was an empower empowerment practice that she gifted me. Now, yeah,
35:07
and I don't think. I think when we get older too, we forget
35:10
to use our imagination like we did when we were kids. It was so
35:15
easy, right, You'd play these games for hours and you're you'd be totally
35:19
in your imagination. And then we get older and we get serious and we
35:22
forget, and I feel like doing that kind of stuff like vision boarding or
35:27
writing affirmations or or photographing whatever it is. It's you're using your imagination again.
35:34
And that's why we get so excited, because that was the joy of
35:37
being a kid, right, We got so excited by just life, and
35:42
we forget, and especially if, especially if we've had painful situations happened to
35:49
us. So before all of this happened to you, where you started on
35:52
your journey, were you feeling stuck like did? Was there a sense of
35:58
stuckness in your routine and your life with your ex husband and you're what was
36:02
going on? Yeah? God, for six years I had felt so much
36:12
frustration. I knew something was wrong. I was constantly looking for a way
36:17
to fix it, whatever it was, but I never could figure out what
36:22
it was. And I was gaslighted. I mean, he would say,
36:25
you know, you worked too hard. You know, you bring your work
36:30
home, you do this, you do that. We've just been married a
36:35
long time, you know, And it was just that was never good enough
36:39
for me. I was speaking even then to make things better. I loved
36:45
him, and I loved our marriage and our family, and I truly wanted
36:50
to do whatever I needed to do. And in that pursuit, I completely
36:54
lost myself. I lost my confidence. I had always been a confident person.
37:00
I lost my trust and my intuition because I was constantly being told my
37:07
intuition was wrong. And so I, yeah, I god, it sounds
37:14
so much like my story with my X because he was such a gas lighter.
37:19
I didn't even know what gaslighting was until iither out of it and I
37:22
looked back and I was like, that's what that son of a bitch,
37:29
because you make it makes you crazy. It's crazy making it really is.
37:34
It's crazy making them trying to excuse their own behavior. And not that I'm
37:39
perfect and not that yes, of course, of course I did. I
37:43
was a small business owner. We all worked hard. But it was you
37:47
know, that was that was acceptible for a while, and then it wasn't,
37:51
you know, And so it's just it's life, and it's that parts
37:55
that part of my life is over, and I'm grateful for that. And
38:00
I you know, I learned my value through that that I deserved more than
38:06
that I deserved better and so yeah, So for those who are listening that
38:12
feeling stuck in whatever area, it doesn't have to be a relationship, but
38:15
just feeling stuck, what do you recommend how they can get past it,
38:20
some tips that maybe they can do to get past it. I think it's
38:25
really important no matter what's going on externally of you, whether there's another person
38:34
involved in the relationship or not, it's important that you make the choice for
38:39
yourself. That was what I wasn't doing right, I was I kept trying
38:45
to fix the relationship instead of trying myself and so and you know, in
38:51
the preface of the book, I'm like, this is about choice and we
38:54
all we have this universe god given ability to make a choice. We have
39:01
the right choice. And you have to choose yourself at some point or at
39:08
every point in your life to actually be the person that you want to be.
39:14
If you're living for someone else or if you're living to fix something else
39:19
or someone else, you are never going to be your highest self, your
39:23
most highest frequency self, your your energy is going the wrong way. And
39:32
and so I feel like that, I mean, the main thing is to
39:38
choose yourself, and you're not speaking away someone else. By doing that,
39:43
we all have the capacity to choose ourself and still love other people and still
39:47
serve other people. But one of the things I learned from Catherine Woodward Thomas,
39:53
who wrote a book called Calling in the one because I do want to
39:57
find my person, I do want to be in a relation relationship, and
40:00
okay, he said, you have to decide what it is you want and
40:05
that other person, and then you have to be that person, and then
40:09
you're going to attract You're putting out into the world what you want to have
40:15
back from the world. And so that that was just that was really an
40:20
important step for me. And that really was just a year ago that I
40:23
did her study. But I'm just voracious consumer of self help stuff now and
40:30
I could never stomach it before. But I can't get up. I'm like
40:34
reading five self help books right now. I mean, it's like, and
40:37
I believe you. I know I was like the same way I was.
40:40
I was like into the self help And it's because when you read other people's
40:45
and they have a similar story as you, and then they tell you and
40:49
they help you and give you tips about how to get yourself out of it.
40:52
First of all, you realize I'm not the only one. I'm not
40:55
alone. Other people have gone through this and worse and are on the other
41:00
side. So you want to learn how to get on the other side.
41:02
Because it's so painful. You're like, Okay, just tell me what to
41:06
do. I'll try anything, just get me out of this pain. So
41:10
we become open to it. Make it stop, please. Right, you
41:20
say that you're a quitter and you like it, So what does that mean?
41:23
What do you mean you're a quitter and you like it? I love
41:27
that, well, I've been. One of the things I realized along the
41:31
way was I and I and I don't like I mentioned earlier the hero complex,
41:38
right, and that was one of the things I quit, right.
41:42
I was I was so focused on achieving and winning, and I mean that
41:49
in a positive way, and that's how I felt myself, and I wouldn't
41:53
quit. There's there's this there's this behavioral scientist theory called the sunk cost fallacy,
42:05
and it's where someone has so deeply invested emotionally or financially in a situation
42:13
or a business or a relationship that they can't see that that quitting is the
42:21
best way to go. Like this is never I'm just keep you just keep
42:25
digging a hole deeper and deeper and deeper because you re used to be a
42:30
quitter. And I know that comes from this American mindset, right, I
42:32
mean, twitters never win and winners never quite. Yeah, And there's a
42:38
hundred quotes like that. And it's just because I saw myself as a high
42:45
achiever, I couldn't see that it's okay to fail, it's okay to walk
42:51
away, it's okay to quit. And one of the depth of quit is
42:54
to set free. And so if you're stuck in its situation, you ask
43:00
yourself if being stuck is better than being set free? And sometimes that what
43:08
sets you free is quitting a toxic relationship, quitting the hero complex, quitting
43:15
the anger, quitting the self doubt. You know, there's and numbing.
43:20
People numb all the time, number with drugs and alcohol, but also with
43:25
over exercise or you know, numb by hiding in your home and not putting
43:31
yourself out there into the world. There's a million ways to numb. And
43:36
so I think that there needs to be a bigger discussion in this world,
43:43
especially in America, that sometimes quitting is the best thing to do. M
43:47
I agree. I was like that too, especially when it came to like
43:51
the relationships, because I come from a long line of families, a family
43:55
line that everybody's been in long relationships, you know what I mean. So
44:00
for me it's like, well, you don't just give up. But I
44:05
don't feel that way anymore. Like I don't look at it as like,
44:07
oh, well it was a failed relationship. No it wasn't. It just
44:10
wasn't meant to be a forever relationship. But it was the success. It's
44:15
just it took me to where I am today, And no, I wouldn't
44:19
want to be with that person. And I'm so glad I'm not there.
44:22
I've learned so much. But look at where I am now. So how
44:25
is that a failed thing? So? Yes, I needed to quit the
44:28
relationship so I could succeed here, look at what happened, right. So
44:34
I love that you say I'm a quitter, and I like it because,
44:37
especially in America, you're right though, Oh you can't quit, you never
44:42
give up. Maybe I think sometimes it may be the healthiest thing for you
44:46
that there are some things you need to give up, because you're right,
44:51
it sets you free. I love that. I love that you say that
44:57
that's cool, we have such similar experience varienceed Okay, so, um,
45:02
what are your hopes for for your book for the swipe right effect? Like
45:07
what is your dream? How do you envision your book and seeing it where
45:12
you see it going? Well, one of the things that has come from
45:17
this is people reaching out to me like it was. It was overwhelming at
45:23
first, but now it's kind of got it down. But you know,
45:27
preaching out to me on Facebook, Messenger, dming me on Instagram, you
45:32
know that breaking out to me going You've said something I needed to say for
45:36
a really long time, and now I know what I need to do and
45:39
I want to talk to you about it. And and my friend Karen helped
45:44
me realize that I could. I could set up a coaching business. I
45:46
could set up a way for people to talk to me, and so I
45:51
did that. That wasn't my intention at all, but in the book,
45:57
I do have empowerment practices, so it makes sense like when they're doing that,
46:00
they'd want somebody to talk to. I didn't see it, and so
46:05
you know, the universe had something planned for me that I couldn't see myself.
46:08
And and then talking to these women, and I'm fifty seven, my
46:15
kids are in their early third like thirty two, thirty and twenty eight,
46:19
and I'm you know, I see the struggles that the young women are going
46:22
through, but then I'm also seeing this. Then I'm not the only one
46:28
who's searching and seeking and in a very intentional, deep purposeful way. Women
46:37
my age are in that I've raised, in my family, I've had in
46:42
my career, and I still have so much more to give. What do
46:46
I do with all of this? What do I do with what I've learned?
46:50
What do I do with how I feel? And all this love I
46:53
have to give? And so that led to me building m a six month
47:00
program called Momentum, where it's a lot of the same work that you do.
47:07
You know, it's about talking. We each month we have a different
47:12
topic and we we're talking about life, purpose, visioning, wealth, mindset,
47:16
personal brand, letting go and mentoring. And you know, you're building
47:22
a legacy with all of these things. You That's what I say, Like
47:27
all this knowledge and love and everything you have inside of you, you earned
47:30
that, but you can't take it with you into another life. You need
47:36
to share it while you're here. So I want. I want women,
47:39
especially to build what they want their legacy to be and then learn how to
47:46
share it with the rest of the world. And I think mentoring is a
47:51
really big part of that. I love mentoring young reporters at my newspaper,
47:55
and I loved working with the salespeople and teaching them new things. And a
48:05
lot of my film people were the same agency, so I wouldn't say I
48:07
mentored them, but but I you know, I'm pulling together circles of women
48:14
and when they finished the program, they will mentor the next circle of women,
48:17
and so it's it's just so empowering to me. It was like I
48:22
was on this journey. I could never have foreseen creating this program. But
48:29
now I look back and it was like I was on nine different boards.
48:34
I built and sold a business, I raised three dynamic, incredibly beautiful,
48:39
charming, fun women you know who found great partners. And you know,
48:45
I look at all of these things that have led me here, and I
48:50
could never have seen this path. And so that's why it's important to vision
48:55
board. That's why it's important to create that postcard. Because something Foody said
49:02
to me the other day is a goal is something you can see yourself doing.
49:07
I want to lose ten pounds, right, you know how to do
49:09
that, you know what you got to do. But a vision is something
49:14
that you set for yourself that you have no idea how to get there,
49:16
and you can't even really write down exactly what it's going to look like.
49:22
It's going to be bigger than what you can imagine. And so having the
49:25
faith and the trust and the vision to you know, be something more or
49:32
something or create something bigger is in a really important part of creating a legacy
49:39
and gaining momentum, and that that all is about sharing and coming together with
49:46
other people. Wow, I love that. I love that. A goal
49:50
and then a vision, I love that so much. Yeah, Like I
49:53
feel that exactly because I didn't know what I really wanted postcards to be when
49:59
it first started. It. I just know that I like to photograph cards
50:01
and letters and affirmations, people's handwriting. I have a thing for handwriting.
50:07
I just love it. People have beautiful handwriting. I always liked to photograph
50:10
it. And then I started with the manifesting and it started becoming more conscious
50:15
and more co creating. And I never thought that I would write a book.
50:19
And I certainly. Never thought I'd have a radio show like it never
50:22
even occurred to me. And I loved it. I did it, and
50:25
I love it because I don't know, I love I'm a Gemini. The
50:30
communication is my thing. I talked to all these amazing people. We're all
50:36
over you know that I get to meet every week, all because something I
50:42
was in a painful situation. I had to get out of it. I
50:45
got myself out of it and it just changed the whole trajectory of my life,
50:50
like just completely. And now you're living the purpose, Like, yes,
50:55
it says your purpose. You're teaching people to do you know, to
51:00
do what you did and to get to this place of happiness, enjoy and
51:06
excitement about life. I mean that's I feel the same way. And yeah,
51:09
when I when I saw your website and was reading your blog, I
51:14
was just blown away by thank you. Just yes, a life of purpose
51:21
is so important. When I read that on your website, I was just
51:22
like, Yes, that's that's what I want women to do. I mean,
51:27
it was a long road to get where I am. Oh yeah,
51:30
and it hurts that there's more. Yes, well that's the thing. It's
51:37
like people say, oh, you know, you see these people, Oh,
51:39
you became an overnight sensation. Oh no, you know, they did
51:43
it. You just discovered them all of a sudden one day. But you
51:45
got to look at the last twenty years of their life and see what they
51:49
went through to kids to where they are, right, yeah, yeah.
51:53
And and usually it's pain that propels us forward because we're so uncomfortable, it's
52:01
so hurtful were we were. We just have to get it out of that
52:06
pain. So the pain pushes us forward. And that's why we're seeing more
52:12
of people that are doing like what you're doing and what I'm doing, and
52:15
other people are doing, and especially women women, you know, women are
52:20
now we live in a you know, even though we see how terrible the
52:22
world is in many ways and in other ways, it's so wonderful because as
52:28
women, we get to reinvent ourselves and not have to do it with our
52:34
husbands, right, we get to do it on our own, right.
52:37
So it's kind of cool if you look at it that way, even though
52:40
it hurts sometimes exactly, but I believe, you know, women who are
52:47
still married, I still feeling that, of course, that something's missing,
52:54
that they have more to give. And you know, there is a lot
52:59
of energy that goes into the building of a career. There's a lot of
53:01
energy that goes into raising children. And whether you raise children or not,
53:07
you've spend a lot of energy on something and now you're at the point where
53:14
there's this I don't know. There's a guy, Matthew Kelly wrote a book
53:19
called Holy Moment, and he said it so beautifully that you know that that
53:24
is when you are feeling that way, you're you're being called. It's your
53:30
body and your soul and your heart saying you are meant for something more and
53:37
you just have to listen. You just have to believe it and it'll happen.
53:43
I mean, it's I don't know. I just think it's such a
53:45
He calls it a sacred call, which I think it's beautiful. I think
53:50
I think that's a good description. I think it is a sacred call.
53:54
So, Kelly, if people want to connect with you and find out about
53:58
your what's it called them moment to momentum program? Is that what it's called.
54:02
It's actually called the momentum effect. Momentum books and programs have the word
54:07
effect. Okay, so how's the best way for people to either follow you
54:13
or connect with you. It's um my website, it's ck Collins dot coo
54:20
and they can do forward slash momentum and that would get them there. But
54:23
there's also a button up at the top if they just go to ck Collins
54:27
dot com and um, if they're interested in the program, they can book
54:30
a call with me and I'll explain it to them and UM, we can
54:35
see if it's a good fit for both of us. I think, um,
54:38
that conversation is really important. Kind of don't ever assume it's a good
54:43
fit for anybody, you know, but yeah, yeah, exactly right,
54:46
yeah, because everybody resonates with different people, so you want to make sure
54:51
that's a good fit for you. M yeah, yeah, it's um No,
54:57
I love what you're doing and I'm so glad you wrote the book and
55:00
um yeah, and just sharing your message with everyone. Realize that, you
55:05
know, life isn't over at fifty ladies, whether you're married or you're divorced.
55:10
Just getting started, right, So just getting started. Yeah, So
55:20
thank you so much, Kelly. It was such a pleasure talking with you
55:24
today. We have such a similar stories, so we'll have to stay connected.
55:30
Guys, check her out, please, and don't forget to sign up
55:34
for my workshop Manifesting through Gratitude, a visual journey starting July twenty I find
55:39
uniquelyu dot com thanks for listening to Postcards to the Universe with Melissa creating the
55:45
Life you Crave and I'm wishing everyone a wonderful week filled with joy, abundance
55:51
and love. Peace journey starting to lect twenty find dot com Thanks for listening
56:00
into Postcards to the Universe with Melissa creating Label Create, and I'm wishing everyone
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a wonderful week They'll enjoy Abundant and Love. Joy Abundant and Love. Its
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companies alleged to be funding the Wagner group the Mercenary Force switch over the World