Latest / Hook,Line,&SinkHer / Season 1 Episode 6 Caught in the Current: ADHD and Relationships

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Season 1 Episode 6 Caught in the Current: ADHD and Relationships · Hook,Line,&SinkHer

• Jayson St.Croix: Welcome back to Hook, Line, & SinkHer the podcast where we cast out big questions, real and honest conversations, and occasionally get distracted by whatever shiny object just floated by. I'm Jayson and joining me, as always, is Dr. Amy St. Croix. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: How you doing? Jayson St.Croix: I'm doing well. How are you doing this morning? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I'm I'm doing great. Th this episode's a good one. Jayson St.Croix: Why's that? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: You chose a good topic. I'm I'm excited to see what happens. Jayson St.Croix: I did something right? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Just just today, just one time. Jayson St.Croix: Cool. So today we're heading into a topic that touches almost every relationship in our lives. How ADHD shows up with people closest to us. And actually, Dr. St.Croix before we get into it, do you hear that? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I can hear that. Jayson St.Croix: It sounds like someone is shouting from the dock and wants to get in the boat with us. Can you hear that? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: No, I don't hear that. Mrs. Gosier! Jeri: Good morning. Can you hear me okay? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I can hear you. Jayson St.Croix: I I I was Jeri: This is so great. Jayson St.Croix: I I was asking her if she could hear someone was shouting from the shore and wanted to get in the boat with us today. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha ha. Jeri: All abo wait, all aboard is a train not a boat. Bon voyage. Jayson St.Croix: All aboard, yeah, you're right. Bon bon voyage. We can get rid of that. Jeri: I hate travelling. I have no idea what words they to use. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Did you say you hate traveling? Jeri: Yeah, that's also not real. I love to travel. I just couldn't figure out the word for like, what do you say if you want people to get in a boat? Hop in? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah hop in. Careful careful don't slip. Jayson St.Croix: What on a big on a big boat on a big boat it's in Jeri: Happens. Yeah. Do you have your life jacket? Like Jayson St.Croix: all right, everyone please welcome to the boat, Ms. Jeri Gosier. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha Jeri: I'm gonna sink your ship by accident right now. My gosh. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Listen, this is the best part about this. Right before we started taping, one of our kids sent me a message and was like, Hey, where are you? I'm looking for you. And I was like, I'm I'm over taping. I go, but it shouldn't be too long. I'll see you in about a half an hour. Not having any idea that you were coming in the boat today. So that Jeri: Yes, here I am. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Probably just threw that off. Jeri: It's like very Gilligan's Isle like a three hour tour, like you're never gonna make it home today. Ever. There's the boat reference we needed, the three hour tour. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, especially with the two of us, right? Jayson St.Croix: All right, so welcome to the boat, Ms. Gosier. How you doing today? Jeri: Really good guys, how are you? Good morning. Jayson St.Croix: We are doing well. For anyone that doesn't know the history here, Jeri was actually part of the very first conversations about this podcast long before it became Hook, Line, & SinkHer So today we felt like, well, not we, I, felt like it was the right day to surprise Dr. St.Croix and finally get her in the boat with us. Partners, spouses, close friends, family, the people who love us also happen to be the people who get the full unfiltered experience of living alongside an ADHD brain. So today we're talking about what that actually looks like. The good, the frustrating, and the stuff nobody quite knows how to bring up at that dinner table. And now we got two perspectives instead of one. So, Dr. St.Croix let's start broad. When ADHD is part of a relationship, where does it actually show up day to day? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Everywhere. I don't I don't think it doesn't matter if it's, you know, a relationship in regards to two adults or if it's you know a relationship as a parent and a child, it shows up everywhere. And what makes it complicated is when both people in the relationship have ADHD. So for me it's super difficult Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: as a parent, right? Because I have it as well as both of our children have been diagnosed with it. So that makes it difficult. But it's also difficult when a significant other does. Like you don't have it. you don't understand. I have to be honest, you having Jeri to work with all day is actually Jeri: What's it? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: ridiculously helpful to me because you understand that there's other people that think like I do, but she Jeri: Okay. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: can say things to you that I sometimes can't. Jeri: Right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So Jayson St.Croix: Yeah? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, I mean, it it's awesome. Plus, there's days that she's more hyper than I am. So it looks great for me. Jayson St.Croix: I I almost smell an episode of our spouse well her spouse and me doing Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: yeah. Jayson St.Croix: getting in on our own boat and doing our own episode and what it's like living with the two of you. So Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, yeah, right. Jeri: I don't know if the Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Right. Jeri: internet has enough bandwidth for that moment. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha. Jayson St.Croix: So Jeri I was gonna ask you, does it look different in romantic relationships versus, you know, just friendships or family? Jeri: I think there are some similarities for sure. In a romantic relationship, you know, you're establishing a relationship from scratch. So anything that I do that might be a function of exactly who I am, it takes a lot of time to identify that or explain it to somebody. Whereas my family might be more used to it. Doesn't mean they like it. It doesn't mean they're not annoyed by it, but it's not alarming. So in a dating world or eventually right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Alarming. Jeri: You know, trying to like explain to somebody like, no, it's fine, I'm always like this in every single regard, even if I'm Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha ha. Jeri: conscious I wanna change it. You know, for somebody like a husband to say, yeah, I can do this forever, like wild card. I just you know, it's like having a deck of UNO cards Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Right. You know what my favorite is Jeri? Jeri: and always finding like reverse it, reverse it. You think you're in a pattern and we change it up again. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Jeri, my favorite part is not only is it a wild card, but after a while, he he talks like he has it. He's like, Jeri: Yes. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: when when we organize, no, no, no, your organization doesn't even top what I'm going through. That was actually a couple episodes ago. He was going on about his strategies, and in my head I was thinking, you don't have it. You're Jeri: yes. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: an imposter. Jeri: Right. Jayson St.Croix: To to be fair, for our listeners, I feel since we're talking about UNO I got the draw two card and I'm getting two instead of a wild card or a UNO reverse. But I don't in in your house, Ms. Gosier when Dr. St. Croix starts ADHD'ing in our house, we literally usually say, here she goes. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: No you don't. You say did you take your meds? Jayson St.Croix: I was being polite. I was being respectful. I listened to you a couple episodes ago. I was being polite. Wha Jeri: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: how does your family w when you start ADHD'ing, how does your family react to that? Jeri: I don't think I ever actually stop, which is the hardest part. So there's that piece. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Right. Jeri: But honestly, there's moments where you can tell where again I'm focusing on the wrong part. I'm literally unable to do something because I literally noticed something else. And years ago there was a conversation from a physician to another family and it was just basically about how people misconstrue ADHD with the inability to pay attention, but rather they're paying attention to everything. And that is the truest thing of my life. I will be trying to, you know, I'll be on my way to go clean the bathroom. Then I'm like, my gosh, what is that buzzing sound? And so I have to investigate where that sound is coming from. And that's when I realize that, my gosh, should I put the thing back in the fridge? So I go back and it'll be 20 minutes in and I'm like, I think I'm supposed to be going somewhere. Where are my car keys? And it's because I feel this sense of urgency when things are the hardest and the most unmanaged. And everything feels like an emergency. I complete nothing. But I look panicked because I know things matter and I know it's important. The bathroom needed to get cleaned. There's probably something that's broken, which is why it's buzzing. And you can't leave dairy products on your counter. Like all three of those things are valid concerns. But now I don't know where my car keys are. And this happens Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Right, and that's Jeri: more often than not. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: And and that is, you know, you say everything is an emergency. Like Jeri: It's Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: it I can't even I mean, I can explain it to you because you understand, but it's like every single time that something happens, a post-it note or a blinker goes off in Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: my head, and it could literally be it doesn't matter what it is. It could literally be a notification to my phone of something Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: that I don't even need or want or isn't even within and I'm just gone. Like it's so, last night, I had like four things that I needed to accomplish. They were on my to do list. I needed to accomplish them. And I had to put them on an index card because if I had went from my office to home might have forgot them. So I Jeri: Anyway Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: put them on an index card. And then I literally took the index card with me in my in my hood pocket. And as I was, you know, like starting to get distracted, I would pull it out and be like, okay, these are the four things I have to do and then revert myself back. Jeri: Yeah. And it's hard. People like always joke about the, you know, especially as like a they would say, Hey moms, who tried to do their laundry today but ended up, you know, regrouting their tile, right? Because you get that sidetrack. It's so hard because people think that you don't take the task seriously or that it's just silly to get distracted. If they knew the like gravity of the feeling in the moment, there's really no other option. And you know what the index card is for. It doesn't mean you're not gonna lose it your pocket and still get right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: That's true. Jeri: Rearranged and diverted Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: again, you're like, I made the index card to stay on track, but I didn't want to lose it, so I put Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: it my pocket and now I'm still off. Like sometimes there's Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: just no winning. Jayson St.Croix: What's something that people would be surprised to learn that would fall underneath this umbrella that you guys are talking about? Like Dr. St.Croix you use an index card or post-it notes. Jeri, I know you use a notebook that you keep everything in. If it's not in that notebook, it's not getting done. And we just talked about last episode about being hyper-focused on some things, which you kind of briefly mentioned that is airing this week. But what's something that our viewers or our audience would be surprised to learn that would fall underneath this umbrella of relationships in ADHD? Jeri: My interrupting is an issue. I'm a chatty person. Jayson St.Croix: Okay, J Jeri has a go to phrase too. When you're in a conversation with Jeri, Jeri, what is it? What do you always say? Jeri: Wait, look at me. Jayson St.Croix: Wait, look at me. Yep. And she won't continue until you stop and you look at her. Yep. Wait, look at me. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: You've never done that to me. Jeri: So I think part of it comes from I know that if you're looking at me that I'm allowed to keep going. That like it's appropriate. Like if you're looking at me, then it's not a full interrupt and maybe it's an appropriate time because I'm such a bulldozer with interrupting. And I don't know I don't know. Wait, look at me started what two years ago, maybe? I I don't even know. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Jeri: But like, wait, look at me. That's how I know you promise it's okay if I tell you something because I get anxious that I'm annoying, which I probably am. Being too much, which is probably it, but I know if the person's looking at me, it's appropriate to talk and that I actually have your attention and that I picked the right time to tell you something, I guess. When I interrupt, it's not because I don't care what someone's saying. It's literally the opposite. I got so inspired by something they said or can oh my gosh, yes, me too. And it feels again like a positive emergency. It just bubbles up and I can't wait to tell you. But I have really good manners and I know it's inappropriate to just butt in. People talk about the impulse control. I'm not trying to do physically dangerous things, but my impulse control is just because you want to share it doesn't mean it needs to be immediate. You know, I just you can feel it. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: And and I think for me, Jeri, I'm super similar, but mine, I I don't think that mine is the impulse control, though I completely a hundred percent agree with Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: you. For me, I will not remember the thought that was evoked by something that you had said. So if I don't get it out right now, it's it's gone. Yeah. Jeri: It's also gonna disappear. Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So when I'm in a professional situation like you know, let's say we're working with an attorney and a family and we're whatever, right? And I have a thought that might be sparked by something that, you know, the inter attorney that we're working with says, I literally write it down in front of me so Jeri: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: that then they can continue and I can interject when it's appropriate. Because sometimes in professional situations, that is construed as as being rude. And and for me, I'll lose the thought and and you know, just being honest, they're not usually mundane thoughts. They're usually something, you know, that's it's pretty critical to the case or Jeri: Yes. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: a legal guidance that I read out of New York State, you know, something like that. Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So yeah, I write it down while they're talking because it's appropriate at times and sometimes it's it just depends on, you know. It's a different situation. Jeri: And that's also something that I do religiously because of that. I will write it down because then A), it's out of my system B), I won't forget it. And then if there's a moment where I feel I can contribute, then at least it exists. It's the same thing. I really don't know where I would be without my notebook and my pens and pencils. I'm also notorious for using a notes section on my phone. And I'll write it down and then like if I make eye contact with somebody and I'm really excited, I'll also be like, Jayson St.Croix: So it's interesting that you two are going down this avenue. So let's talk about communication because if they don't if when you're in a room with people that you don't know, it can seem like there's friction when you guys again are not being rude, but you're just interjecting because you want to get that out into the meeting, right? Do you have certain strategies that work for you? I mean, I know I attend a lot of meetings with Ms. Gosier I attend a few with you, Dr. St.Croix Ms. Gosier has a strategy. Do you want to share your strategy, Ms. Gosier? Jeri: Sure, it looks very elementary and I do get not picked on in a bad way, but like people chuckle about it. But again, it's because I know I can't interrupt and people are always throwing ideas around. And I feel everyone should be heard, but I will literally be in a room full of, you know, a range of professionals, and I'm like I still raise my hand. I don't know how Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Jeri: else to jump in appropriately. I'm always terrified I'll read it wrong. Even if there's that professional lull in the conversation, I will still raise my hand. it's the only way I feel like I'm allowed to talk or something. I don't know. Jayson St.Croix: So, Dr. St.Croix when you're on your legal cases, and you have those conversations in your professional manner, when you have to interject and give your answer, how how do you do that? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well I know this is gonna sound a little weird, but when I'm typically in the majority of my professional meetings, people are seeking my opinion or my thoughts, Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: right? Just naturally by what I do. So I find that it's much easier for me now than when I was an administrator, because I I think I probably was more kind of along the lines of like what Jeri is experiencing in her Jeri: Okay, Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: professional Jeri: next one. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: world in meetings, right? Where it's really collaborative and everybody's giving their ideas and things like that. But honestly, in my role now rarely am I in a meeting that I'm not there for a very specific reason. Jeri: Right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: We're not brainstorming, right? Rarely do I attend a meeting where we're brainstorming. Maybe, maybe, with something that has to do with like social media or PR or something like that. But on the day-to-day, I'm in those meetings because people are seeking my knowledge and seeking my opinion. So it's just a little bit different now. So I I honestly do believe that it's a bit easier for me now than it was in the past. Jeri: Mm-hmm. Jayson St.Croix: So what are some of the common misunderstandings between someone with ADHD and the people closest to them? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: From my perspective, I think that my spouse has gotten better with this as time has gone on, but for years I felt like I was just like I was trying to be stifled. Like Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: If I was too much, you you let me know I was too much. If I was, you know, running late because I had forgot three things or I had lost something, how many times have you lost your mind because I misplaced something? In reality, Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I could care less that I misplaced it because it happens all the time. But Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: you've gotten so much better at that. So I think for me, especially in the beginning of time. My my the real me, my real personality was stifled for sure. Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: I would agree with that. I would own that. You Jeri: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: you have definitely taught me to be more patient and exhibit more grace. Yep. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Understanding. Just understanding that my box isn't yours. You know, and our daughter's box is not your box. Jeri: It is Jayson St.Croix: It's a tough one. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: Mm-hmm. Jayson St.Croix: How about you, Ms. Gosier, did you marry a saint as well? Jeri: He literally is. I think a lot of my personality, like growing like as a kid, silly things that I did, really funny things that I did, really were a part of, you know, definite intelligence and creativity. But the way that it was Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: delivered was never structured. And so I think I had a lot of missed potential growing up. And a lot of my behaviors could have been chalked up to being like a silly talkative kid where people didn't necessarily realize how to connect the dots that were going on that showed exactly what was really transpiring. To that point, I'm really lucky Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: that my family at least appreciated it and found it found humor in those behaviors. What became very difficult for me was before I knew why I had literally 95,000 things at a time going on, was I was raised with manners and appreciation for again professional settings and having a hard work ethic. And the level of anxiety that it gave me, and as I grew how self conscious I became, how much more anxious and high strong I became, as I noticed nobody else looked the same way as I did in situations, my brain would be going and whether I felt really inspired or confused or something was bothering me in the room and no one else had the same level of, you know distress or excitement on their face, I had to start being like, okay, never mind. And then I would start thinking about that. Like, I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. As I grew, I became so much more stressed out and self-conscious. I recognized my behavior and version of the day was not the same as somebody else's. And once we realized what it was and started going through some things that would help me manage this, I found out that I was just experiencing the world times ten magnification, volume, the way things felt to me versus everybody else. The amount of things going on for me was just heightened. Now that things are a little bit calmer for me, again, between all the ways that we manage this, whether it's medicine, coping strategies, and routines you attempt to implement, I don't have to measure my version of how I'm interpreting it as much anymore as I used to. So I've gotten a little calmer. but my own family has had to see me like spiral because why is this so hard? Everything was overwhelming. Now it's better. It's not fixed, but it's like more manageable Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. And Jeri, I think this is great for Jeri: and I'm more comfortable with it, if that makes sense. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. And I think this is great for our listeners because it's a great way to explain how you can have the same thing and it's so different in in other people because Jeri: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: It's so interesting. Because when I was in high school, I felt all of the same things that you just described. Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: But never once did I think that I was different. I always Jeri: Right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: thought that everybody else had these exact same feelings. Like I thought everybody was uncomfortable walking into a room after the bell rang. Or like I was never, ever, ever late. That could have never been in my repertoire. I first of all, I never would have been late to class because I'm a rule follower, right? So that just doesn't happen. But secondly, if you're late to class, that means anybody that's sitting in that classroom is facing forward and looking at you as you Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: enter the room. And in my mind, everybody felt like that, right? So, Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Good, I was the third one here, or I made it before they did, or all those Jeri: Yes. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: kinds of things, right? But yeah, in my mind, I thought that this feeling, not just one feeling, all of the feelings that I feel, right? I thought everybody was like that. I didn't know. Like I had no idea. And unlike your family who appreciated your personality, mine did not. Jeri: They at least pretended to, I don't know, but they tried. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. So my parents are still in denial to this very day. My parents are like, you weren't like that as a kid. Okay. Like I was so classical girl ADHD where everything was internalized. And honestly, love my parents to death, but they were clueless. Clueless. Jayson St.Croix: So the two of you got me thinking, how because I know Jeri, your husband a little bit and we have similarish ish personalities, right? How Jeri: Mm-hmm. Jayson St.Croix: is that better or worse for a person with ADHD in a relationship to have like a yin and a yang to balance it? Jeri: I think pretty sure is why I still have a house because of him. I mean I can't like I really am not sure exactly what my version of adulthood would have been like if I didn't have somebody else helping steer my ship. There's definitely a balance to it for sure. most people who know me know that like I can have a meltdown over something as inconvenient as a paper cut, right? Like literally melt my day's over. This was not a part of the plan, and now everything is horrible. And that could really dominate everything for me. But in the same breath, I could like single-handedly dismantle a building that was gonna fall apart and think nothing of it. I'd be like, I can do this. Crisis, I got it. An actual big thing. So being with somebody who is a little bit more even keeled and the way that they view moments, emergencies, reactions, etc., he appreciates and celebrates that once something big is going on, I will so handle it. We just can't trust me on the regular happenings day to day. And that's where he comes in. Yep. So far I haven't even had that many emergencies, Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: That's why I still have Jeri: but I do have that superpower, so woo. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: You kill me, Jeri. Jeri: It's good time. Jayson St.Croix: All right. Dr. Dr. St.Croix, what are some common misunderstandings between someone with ADHD and the people close to them? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I've done a really good job in instilling in our daughter that it is absolutely okay to say I need a break. Like the this situation is too much for me. or like when she was younger, right, she'd go on like a play date, right? Or or she'd have a play date at our house. And you know, kids want to be together for four or five, six hours. And I Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: would really teach her the strategy of it is okay for you to leave kids that are playing and go sit in your room for, you know, 10 minutes or you know, 10 minutes to take a break, that kind of a thing. And that is one thing that I think is really hard is because you know it I don't want to be rude, but there's some times that there's just too much noise and I want to remove Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: myself, but I can't because either Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I'm the parent, right? I can't just walk away when they were younger and they needed to be supervised. But even now like if you sometimes like when you do dinner and then the dog needs to be fed and you're making all sorts of noise and you know you're hacking away like you do like that's just way too much noise in my head. I can't so sometimes I want to go where it's quiet, but I can't because you're doing all of those chores and I would be so rude to just walk out and let you do them. Jeri: So great. Jayson St.Croix: That's getting edited That's Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: It's true. Jayson St.Croix: getting edited out. I don't know what you're talking about. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I Jeri you spent the days with him. You understand. Jeri: Sounds he yeah but I must be getting a very good version. He doesn't even mouth breathe near me. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: He doesn't clear his throat constantly with you. Jeri: I don't think so. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: You just saved that for me, thank you. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Well, we save it for the ones we're closest to, honey. Jeri: You know. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: But but no, in in all honesty, Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: like in a r in a relationship with a partner, right, you each have Jeri: now it's making me clear my throat thinking about that. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: You each have roles and you're you're supportive of each other, right? Like you're never gonna Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: unless someone's sick or something like that, you're never going to, you know, just rudely leave it all up to them. And sometimes I like I have to push through that sometimes. But as a parent, I have taught our daughter to take those chances, Jeri: Did you guys freeze? Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Has there ever been a moment of friction for you because someone close to you misread you because it was your ADHD? Whether it was a behavior, a conversation, an action? Jeri: Yeah, pretty much all the time. I could not even highlight one instance. And to that point, because it's happened so many times, I end up being more self-conscious about everything I do in case I did it again. So I always okay, so for example, in my text messages or like in email, like not my super professional emails, which are also my version of professional email, I'm a big parenthesis user. When I text or email because I feel like I need to explain what I said just in case I didn't do it right. So I'll be like, Good morning everybody. I hope you're having a great day today. Not because I thought you were bad yesterday. Like, I will literally put whatever might be misconstrued in the parentheses. So I'll be like, I'm really looking forward to collaborating with you on this project. Not because I didn't enjoy the last thing we did together. I will keep typing parentheses. I text people, but it comes out of if I said something once that maybe they misconstrued because I didn't think before I hit send, I didn't think before I spoke, even if the intention is like so good and flattering, sometimes it comes out wrong because again, everything's an emergency. So I'm like respond. So now the end result is that I like parentheses everything, just in case, because I can't pick out just one time somebody misunderstood what I thought I was doing. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: So do you use parentheses at home when you're with your kids and your family or do you leave the parentheses out, save those for professionals? Jeri: In my like communication with them. No, my sister will be like we like laugh about it because I'll be texting her. It might even be an outfit. Like, my gosh, that literally looks so good on you. I really liked what you wore last time too, but this is a really nice extra look on you, so don't think I didn't like that outfit either. Like also, why do I have to use parentheses? It could just be another sentence. But I think the parentheses really represent like the thought part. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Because the parentheses are representing the side thought in your brain. Jeri: Yeah, but I always put it out there like if I ever parentheses you just know that's me like freaking out in my head. I wonder if I said that normal. Was that an appropriate? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha ha Jeri: Is that what they were actually asking me? Like parentheses. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Listen, don't ever parentheses me because I'm not gonna be offended. Jeri: Fine. But I might just you can it's Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Jeri: fun to like read it in your brain voice too. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: So I'm thinking about specifically our children and I know Ms. Gosier's children a little bit. What gets mistaken for not listening when it's actually something else, when you have a child that might have ADHD? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: For ours it's well, for our son it's just purely not listening. He's he's doing his own thing and it's way more important than anything that we could possibly say. So he's just not interested in whatever we're talking about. It doesn't matter if it's a directive, it doesn't matter if it's something enjoyable, if it's a family plan, it doesn't matter, but it is not important to him. So not important, not listening. Check the box, move on. our daughter, for her, I feel like it's dysregulation. Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: When she's dysregulated, she cannot listen to anything that you are saying to her. Jayson St.Croix: So Dr. St.Croix I was actually thinking about our son as well, because when he was in second or third grade we always get the nasty emails, not nasty, but emails, your son's not paying attention because he's not looking at what I'm doing up here on the board. No, Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: he's actually soaking it all in. And he Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: heard and could verbatim say back everything that you put up on the board, but he just needs to do something else. I have a student right now that draws his little tail off while I'm teaching math. And then when I ask him a question, guess what? He knows it like that. he they just need to be doing that something else, although it might appear as they are not listening. You know what I mean? Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, our our son is not in that situation, he eye contact does not indicate attentiveness at all. Like Jayson St.Croix: Converse Conversely, you could have a student looking at you deadeye Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: totally somewhere else, thinking about what they're going to do after school, what they're doing, you know what I mean? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yep. Yep. Not understanding the material at all. Yeah. That's why it's so Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: important for that check for understanding. But it's also important to have that flexibility for kids. You know, if you have a kid who appears to not be paying attention and then, you know, is doing significantly well on mastering the skill on an assessment or an evaluation, Jeri: Okay. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: do we really need to address the fact that they don't appear like they're looking at us? And that that was our son. You know, his grades were outstanding. you know, most of the time. They were, you know, in the extreme high na nineties, if not just straight straight flat one hundreds, especially, you know, like in second grade. It was okay that he was watching the squirrel cross the telephone wires. That was actually the email we got home once. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: He loved the wires. Look at him now. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, foreshadowing. Who would have thought, right? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Who Jeri: Right, who would have thought? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: who'd have thought? Yeah, he's a squirrel and he you know, likes the telephone Jayson St.Croix: Night. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: wire or the Jeri: He does. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: electrical wire. Jayson St.Croix: So no relationship's perfect, ADHD or not. What actually helps in a relationship when things go sideways or go off the rails? Either one of you. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well, I love this technique that you do. Where you, yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Ooh, me? I do I do something right? That's twice in this episode that I've recorded that you said I've done something right. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So I I love Jeri: Write down in my notebook. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: that you do this. Yeah. I I love that you do this. If you know we we kind of, you know, not angry obviously because we don't usually get angry at each other, but like say there's something that that wasn't going well and I I called you out on it, and then you had a reason and I called you out again, you know, like that type of a thing. I I have a a a great one. Like when your clothes don't make it into the clothes basket, but they make it next to the clothes basket. Jeri, how many times have you and I had this conversation? Right? Jeri: Love Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So they make it next to the clothes basket and then I say something to you about it, and you will make reference about, you know, whatever, they're dirty, whatever and I'll be like, put in the basket. And instead of like carrying being on the conversation or the potential argument, you always make this funny little little what'd you say? And it's like you're not mad that I brought it up. But you allowed me by bringing it up to get it off my chest. And you were and you do that all the time. You're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, what did you say? What what? I didn't hear you. What did you say? And it's like it's okay because I shared with you what was frustrating me, even though it was a critique of you. And you didn't get upset about it. You just let me have that moment and then we just went on. Jeri: Yeah. I think I'm glad Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Do you know you do that? Jeri: that Culley doesn't get mad at me for the things that are repeating. Like the simple fact that I, again, whether I'm misplacing things or I've written down the wrong time, certain things that I just fail to master at this point that can still be upsetting in a day or ruin somebody else's schedule. He does get frustrated, obviously as anybody would, but he doesn't make me feel bad about it. And doesn't always mention it. He'll just stop you know, when he can handle it, nope, it's okay. Like, it it all worked out. It's good. So I don't have to feel really guilty if I drop the ball on something. And that's been really helpful because I will carry like guilt or feel bad about something if I feel like, my gosh, I knew better than that. How did I mess that up again? How did I write it on the wrong day? Like I never know what day it is. And like Jayson said earlier, if I don't look at it on my calendar, if it's not there, it does not exist in my world. So when you realize, like at this point in my life, right, a job, managing, you know, the schedules of multiple people in a household, sharing those duties, communicating those duties. I mean, just to even do a dentist appointment for one kid means someone has to make it, communicate it to the other partner. Yeah, sure you can put in the calendar, but what if I don't pick the right calendar so he doesn't get the alert like everything in my brain just has so many steps. I make mistakes. and it's always the same type of mistake. No matter how hard I try, there's always something messing up somewhere. He isn't making me feel bad about it. He'll say he might ask me, well, how did that get messed up? Which kind of gives me a moment to reflect. Usually I'm like, because history repeats itself and I can't be trusted with these things. I don't know. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha Jayson St.Croix: So interesting, because we've had Jeri on, we've had Jen on, and I know you, Dr. St.Croix right, you guys all refer back to this calendar for the tool and the strategy. Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. And that was Jayson St.Croix: If it's not if it's not written down, it's not into existence. I saw Jeri spiral. I don't want to say spiral, she didn't get go down. I've seen her worse. I've seen her worse. But s Jeri: It was probably a spiral. Jayson St.Croix: someone alerted us that they were using our room, right? And Jeri went What did I miss? What did I miss? Check my calendar. Did I write it on my whiteboard? Did was it on that cal no, you didn't miss anything because she didn't remember that? That happened this week. Jeri: Yeah. But I ob the my first go to was what did I mess up? Like Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jeri: I that's my first go to is that I must have been, you know, irresponsible again or mismanaging my things and it like, no, this time Jeri really didn't. It's okay. Like, but yeah, Jay, that's right. The first thing I do when I look in all the spots that I would have put something it wasn't in my iPhone, it wasn't in my planner, it wasn't on the whiteboard, like but instead of thinking that like, so this just could be an informal chat where it worked out great, doesn't mean I've dropped the ball. But I think everything ultimately is because I must have messed it up. Jayson St.Croix: Okay, so I'm gonna share something a little personal. Dr. St.Croix when I do that blah blah whatever you say it is that I do when I don't put the clothes in the basket. I'm a baseball fan. I believe in the proximity. If it's close, it's close enough. Anyway, what role does timing play in these conversations? Because when I do it in the moment, does that help? Does it hurt? Does humor help? Humility, sarcasm? Does it matter? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: For I mean, I guess it depends on how serious it is, right? Because sometimes Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: people aren't ready to have the conversation in the moment. But for the example that I provided, the moment is absolutely perfect because it allows me to know that it was okay to share what was frustrating me with me, frustrating to me, but you're not mad at me for for sharing Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: my frustration. We just go on. Like Jayson St.Croix: So, Ms. Gosier the other night when you had your little girls night and you came home and the duties and chores weren't done as you requested before you left, how'd that timing go? Did you have that conversation immediately or did you have to w wait or? Jeri: So to go back to my other statement, everything's an emergency. So I had a really nice night celebrating a girlfriend's birthday, got home, you know, a little bit later. And I walk in, and the worst part was is like so many things had been started, and I appreciate it, right? In a house, you have to share duties and do things. I could not go to bed because I was thinking about, well, if I wake up in the morning and all this stuff is not done, then I'm gonna have a rough morning, and what if I sleep in? Which again, very anxious thought patterns, Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yep. Jeri: but it's because I also know I'm going to drop the ball on something else, and I just want to reduce opportunities for me being distracted, we'll say. So literally I couldn't settle until the dishes were put away, the counter was cleared off, and the huge pile of laundry was folded. Do we want to address that I have a huge pile of laundry? Like that was me too, because I took it out of the dryer and put it in a basket and then did something else. And the next load was ready and I put it in the same basket because I didn't just finish the task. So I let the laundry pile up. That's all on me. That was probably three loads that I just didn't commit to because ooh and I Got like a new mascara I wanted to try on and thought, it'll only take a minute. And then it's, you know. So then I've gone out to eat and now there's laundry and I got upset that nobody else had finished their things. Is there a little bit of validity in that? For sure. Was any of this an emergency? No. But I had to have it done. I couldn't possibly have done it during Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: And Jeri, I can Jeri: a normal time of the day either. Like I would do it at nighttime because there's that urgency in my s you know, self inflicted emergency. However, I was literally home for like at least an hour and a half before that. I probably could have done the laundry myself or better communicated I needed help with it. But I mismanaged that time too. Time dysmorphia is a beast. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Think that for me, I couldn't agree more. When before I go to bed, I pick up everything, I wipe down the counters, I clean, you know, there's no dishes typically left in the sink. And when I get up in the morning that's what I want to see. I want a fresh you know, it goes back to the environment. I want a fresh, clean slate. And I live with bears. So what happens is is I go to bed and everything is perfect and set, and then the bears come out and they're making sandwiches and they're getting drinks and they're making cookies or eggs while I'm sleeping. Like, and then I get up in the morning and it's all there. And I literally lose. Jeri: Mm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: lose it from the minute I walk down the stairs and see that just simply because that environment and that order is not there for me. And as you say, it's an emergency. I can't leave. I I have to Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: go do those things before I can leave. Jeri: And the hardest part is again the inconsistency on my part. It's not like this is some perfect routine I do every single night. I don't have a routine. That's telltale sign number one that, you know, I am I've got what I've got. But what's really again, I think it's annoying about me is that night you would think that this must be like such an important thing on my nightly routine that I have to have a clean house that's been quote reset or whatever the new phrasing is. This night was just the night that that was my hyperfocus focus. Cause it was in my brain at one point. So that became my own fixation. Even though I technically contributed to part of the chaos. But it really will completely get me like off. It dysregulates me because that was my moment of focus. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, for Jayson St.Croix: Alright, I think a lot of people assume that and we've talked about this in previous episodes, is the goal is to fix air quotes, the ADHD sided the equation, correct? Is that the right goal or do you think it's something else? Jeri: think it should be fixed. I just think people need to be Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Well you were asking if it should be fixed? Jeri: managed. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. Thank Jeri: Like Jayson St.Croix: you. Jeri: the best I think some of the best my best parts of me come from it and it allows it to exist. Like I think, you know, working with you, Jay, nobody brainstorms faster than me or comes up with something quality faster. It's because I've got 95,000 tabs. They're usually pretty creative. When someone needs an idea, I think you can agree. I'm like, I got one. Because I respond fast to that kind of stuff, because that interests me. So if someone were to do something to quote fix ADHD, I might lose that piece of me. Instead, it's learning how to manage it, finding out appropriate ways to get inspired when I brainstorm, like writing it down and not interrupting. But definitely the supports are needed for the things that really can cause the disarray. I think that's the bigger part is finding real supports for those other pieces that are not as desirable. Jayson St.Croix: Let's flip this around a little bit. And if you could say one thing directly to your partners, spouses, or family members that will be listening to this, what would it be? Jeri: You're welcome. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: That's a good one. Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I have to be honest, I don't have anything to say. Like I I think over I think over time as I've aged, this is me. You take it or you leave it. And and I mean that in my professional world, and I mean it in my personal world, and I mean at the one thing that I'm not is fake. This is who I am. You get all of me no matter what you do. I'm always at 150%. If I'm Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: momming, it's at 150%. If I'm wifing, it's at 150%. If I'm an if I'm an educational legal analyst, it's 150%. You know, if I'm working with a family and I'm trying to, you know, support a child and get the them what they need, it's a hundred Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: and fifty percent. It nothing that I do goes at a minimal nothing. Jayson St.Croix: And and I don't think you're sounding arrogant when you say this because I've known you for a few years now. When there's something that you Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Decades. Jayson St.Croix: there's something well, you remember you're only like fourteen or fifteen, I don't want to get in trouble. But Jeri: you're so cute. Jayson St.Croix: when there's something to be said, usually you say it at the moment. You you don't you're not good at not in a rude way or an arrogant way about bitting your tongue. You have that conversation when it needs to be had at that time. Fair enough? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Yeah, because you know I Jayson St.Croix: It doesn't fester. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: No it doesn't fester. Our daughter, I think that I can confidently say that she lacks a filter. Right? Jayson St.Croix: A hundred percent. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: I don't feel that I lack a filter. But what I am is brutally honest. We just address the situation regardless of what it is, and then we move on. And you know, maybe while I'm addressing it, I might have a filter, but we're gonna address it. And I think that as a parent, that's one of the things that our kids constantly comment about is how if they do something that they need to be, you know, spoken to for or disciplined for or whatever, I do it. And then I move on and you don't. You do it and then they get a seven day penance and then it's an argument and then dad's mad at them. And I think that that's the difference is I address it in the moment and then Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: we move on. Because I'm always so terrified that I don't know when there will ever be another moment. It could all be gone tomorrow. Jeri: Mm-hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: So that that is honestly why I just do it and move on. Jeri: Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Because I mean, you know as a parent, how much the safety piece is so enormous to me because I'm terrified that there won't be a tomorrow. So for me, I just do it. We talk about it, we get it done, and if you don't like it, that's your problem. That's not my problem. And I'm not trying to be arrogant when I say that in any Jeri: Hmm. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: way. That is just how I've learned to be to function and function well. Jeri: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Jeri, Why do you want to tell your family that they're welcome? Jeri: I think I've provided some pretty fun moments. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Some comic relief along the years. Jeri: Yeah. Honestly, I mean I've I think I'm pretty 50/50. I've contributed to some chaos and I've also contributed to some good times. I'm a pretty interested person in things. So like with the exception of things I'm scared of, like heights, for example. And I don't like motorcycles either. You know, there's certain things I think are scary. I don't do that. But like I'll pretty much try anything because why not? and I think that's just part of like, ooh, that looks like a good time, I'll try that too. You know, I do get inspired by things that look fun within reason. So I think I've provided a lot of fun for my family. I've really never shy away of doing something, you know, I used to tinker, I can fix that. I can do that. I always thought I could just do something. And I think that side of my brain has offered a lot of fun for the family. Jeri will do it, Jeri will try it. Whatever, it's Jeri. Like so, you're welcome guys. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah, well honestly Jeri, we've been in school now for a month, I think, right? I Jeri: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: I haven't heard you adopting any new hobbies or going you know, full tilt on another new side quest. What's what's your newest hobby you're into? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: That's not that's not entirely true. She just called me the other night. Jeri: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: What is it? the photog. Jeri: Photo Tag Finder. So I was trying to not be impulsive, so I've been planning it for like a long time in my notebook. Shocker. And so I did a really good job of being like, how long are you gonna be interested in this? Don't do it until you know you love it. So I just realized it kept on going. So then I started it finally, little by little. And yes, I did call Dr. Amy the other night and I was like, hey, have you done brrrr before? And she was like, my gosh, yes. So she kind of gave me some guidance and validated things that I've been Googling. Because yeah, I have more hobbies than most people I know. Some, you know, have lasted longer than others. Well, probably like one, but yeah. I do always find hobbies and things and you know, sometimes that's good. That's for fun. Like for some reason I started doing a hand stitched embroidery. I'm not good at it by the way, but I did the whole rabbit hole. Found the paper, called a friend who was already doing it, and I was like, tell me your favorite stitch. That lasted for like eight months and I still can do it, which I like because I can put it away and take it back out when I'm in the mood again. But I'm just like obsessed with photography, really talented photographers, the kind of things they're giving to families, how happy it makes people feel about themselves. And people always ask me for recommendations. So I decided to make a place that basically, no matter what you need, your style, your price range, everything, you can find somewhere that's perfect for you. And so that became an idea that I put into, you know, actuality. I'm hoping that it really works because there's so many levels and sides of it that everything that I do ends up be feeling like a new version or a new hobby. It can grow, it doesn't have to be stagnant. If I get creative, there's a way to build it in. And that's something that I need is an activity that has like no limits on it. So that if I get another idea, will that fit seamlessly into it or not? So that I can kind of maintain a level of consistency in a project and try to figure out how to make things not just hobbies. 'Cause I love them. I love trying stuff. So yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Su super interesting that both of our guests that we've had on so far have that photography. Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: The creative piece. Jayson St.Croix: Wonder if there's something to that. Jeri: Yeah, there it can change. You can literally do anything and you know it it's nothing that has to be finite. You can try a new type of photography, you can get into different versions of editing that opens up the door to like traditional methods or modern developments. You get to meet new people. There's so much to it and so many things that change daily, you can't really get bored with it. And I think that that's something that matters. it's Jayson St.Croix: Right. Jeri: the ability to keep stimulating what I need to do in my brain. It exists. Whether it's supporting a different one, trying something new myself, it never ends. Like there's always a new version of something to try. And that is huge for me. Jayson St.Croix: Interesting. All right. Before we wrap things up, it's time once again for the tangent of the week. This week I thought I'd give everyone a little glimpse into what it's like to come home with Dr. St. Croix after a air quote normal day. So we walk through the door, and she's already going on about a situation that has her completely irritated. It's a PWN. The district refused something. But didn't explain why they refused it, which, as I learned before I even got my coat off, is a direct violation of IDEA because the entire point of the PWN is to explain why. And for those that don't know, a PWN is prior written notice. I learned that. She's going on about the copy and paste language and how hard can it possibly be to actually explain the reason for the decision that the district made, right? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha yes. Jayson St.Croix: Meanwhile. True Jayson form, I'm only thinking about dinner. So I ask her, Do you want me to put the chicken thighs on the grill? Her response, yes, that would be great. I would like that entered into the record because that's going to come into play later on in the story. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Ha ha Jayson St.Croix: Amy didn't just agree to chicken. Amy thought chicken would be great. This becomes important. So we make it about six feet further into the house when the dog trips over one of our daughter's Birkenstocks in the middle of the floor. Now we're no longer discussing federal special education law. Now she's going on about how the dog is 14 years old, her hips barely work. And how many times does she have to tell our daughter that she cannot leave her shoes in the middle of the floor because the dog could get hurt? We enter the kitchen. New problem. There's dishes in the sink. Dishwasher's empty. So Amy says, Can it really be that hard to put your dishes in the dishwasher? It's empty. Now I know she's not talking to me, but she's thinking this out loud, right? So at this point, Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Thinking it. Jayson St.Croix: at this point, I'm just quietly moving through the house because I have learned there is no benefit to becoming a character in one of these stories. So now she starts answering the emails on her phone. A minute later she realizes she needs to open her laptop for one of them. So the laptop comes out, goes on the bar, and now she's working. Oops, suddenly she remembers the whites are still in the washing machine. Somehow the whites remind her that I am currently wearing her brand new black socks because I ran out of my own socks. So now I am a character in her story because now I'm hearing about the socks. She disappears downstairs, switches over the laundry. Meanwhile, I'm doing the one thing that I have been assigned to do through all this. Just prep the chicken. Remember? It was gonna Jeri: Okay. Jayson St.Croix: be great. So I get the chicken thighs out, I put them on a plate, and I start walking toward the grill. She comes back up the stairs, sees me carrying the chicken, looks at the plate, rolls her eyes, and says, quote, do we seriously have to have chicken again? End quote. I look at her in the eyes. Yes, Dr. St. Croix. Yes, we do. And for those keeping track at home approximately 15 minutes ago, chicken wasn't merely acceptable. Chicken was going to be great. Jeri: It was great. Jayson St.Croix: So somewhere between a legally deficient PWN, a fourteen year old dog nearly being taken out by a Birkenstock, an empty dishwasher, several emails, a load of whites, and my apparent theft of her brand new black socks, we have apparently turned on chicken now. Does that about sum up my Thursday night two days ago? Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: It does. Let's tell Jeri what you took out for dinner today. Chicken Jayson St.Croix: Sure. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: it. Jeri: It'll be it'll be great. Jayson St.Croix: It will be. Yeah. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: True story, true story. Jayson St.Croix: No. So you're a big chicken fan though, and I you prefer chicken over red meat. Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: For the most part, yeah. Jayson St.Croix: Yeah. So we do do a lot of chicken, but that is a typical normal night when we come home Jeri: Mm-hmm. Jayson St.Croix: and we we both work till late as y you you have kids and after school activities and after school commitments as well. Dinners are tough, especially Jeri: Yeah. Jayson St.Croix: when you have activities and, you know, full schedules. So Jeri: Mm-hmm. Jayson St.Croix: and thus we plan ahead. Yeah, it's usually something easy That's a wrap on today's episode of Hook, Line, & SinkHer. Jeri, thank you so much for jumping in the boat with us and for being such a good sport about the surprise. Jeri: Heck Yeah! Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: Thanks Jeri Jayson St.Croix: If today's conversation resonated with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, share it with someone who loves a person with ADHD or is loved by one, which honestly covers most of us. So next time, we're heading into parenting with ADHD. Keep Dr. Amy S. L. St. Croix: my gosh. Jayson St.Croix: keeping the boat steady while you're raising your kids and managing a household and trying to stay all afloat at once. So until next time, keep casting, keep learning, and remember, sometimes the best catches happen when you least expect them.