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8 Habits That Make Life Work Better—Everywhere · The No Cry Zone

• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hey everybody, welcome back.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: That favorite song this week is The Mad Magic of Brazen Candor, singing Sedona Wild.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you are in the Nelcry zone where we leave the red rock mystique of Sedona and focus on positive change that is doable and durable.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Jim Best, and I'm glad we get this chance to visit together.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be candid, shall we?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: We recently talked about the ten most admirable traits, the quality people respect, appreciate, and look for at others.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: That was fun, informative, effective, and powerful.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: We've received a lot of positive stories, and we appreciate you sharing those with us.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to increase your momentum by shifting gears a bit.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because traits are what people admire, while habits are how we actually live and make a difference in the world.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And as a reminder, we've discarded the labels of good and bad habits, and instead we're focusing, developing, and depending on our supportive habits.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want your life to be work better, be smoother at work in relationships, in your health, and your day-to-day experience, it usually doesn't come down to big changes.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It comes down to small things done consistently.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to give you eight habits, not complicated, not overwhelming, just eight habits that quietly improve almost everything in our lives.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need all eight.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Some say shocked at how your life blossoms.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you think you don't want your life to blossom, try it.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Habit number one.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Start slightly earlier than necessary.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Start slightly earlier than necessary.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now some people call this being early.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Others call it something more important.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Having a sense of urgency for what matters.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't about rushing through your life.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's about recognizing that the things which matter, your priorities, your responsibilities, your commitments, deserve a little head start.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And deserve some preparation on your part to show up at your best.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: When you start slightly early, you reduce stress before it begins.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: You create space instead of pressure, and you send a signal to yourself and others that you are intentional.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're not drifting into your day, you're starting it with purpose.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk now about habit number two.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Finish what you start.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: We think that this is accepted everywhere, but consider for a moment how many people you know you see that are in your lives that do not finish what they start.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it sounds simple, but it's powerful.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because every time you finish something, even something small, you build two things.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: First, confidence.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I trust myself to follow through.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Second, trustworthiness.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Others begin to trust that you will follow through also.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And they will say things like he is money, she is right on.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to worry when she's on the project.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: However, the opposite is also true.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Unfinished things don't just sit there, they quietly drain your energy and diminish your self-image.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So start closing loops by completing.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Finish the task.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Send the message.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Complete the conversation.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because finishing isn't just about productivity, it's about becoming someone who completes things.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who is reliable, someone who is trustworthy.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Habit number three.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Be helpful.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Say it or do it, but be helpful.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Say the helpful thing.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Do the helpful thing.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Just be more helpful.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the simplest ways to become a net positive in the lives of others.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need a title.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need permission.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to be asked.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: You just need awareness.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Go out of your way for somebody.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Offer encouragement.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Share useful information.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Step in when something needs to be done.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the key.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do it without keeping score.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Do it without making announcements.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Doing it without putting it in your gunny sack is what makes the positive difference you seek to make in the world.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because people remember how you made things easier, clearer, or better.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: How you helped them.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: How you were there for them.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Being helpful is not small.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Being helpful is not deferring.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Being helpful is not making yourself subservient.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Being helpful is quietly and demonstrably powerful.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about habit number four, which is ask better questions.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: So important.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Ask better questions, not more questions, better ones.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because better questions lead to better thinking, better conversations, better decisions.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of reacting, ask what's really going on here?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: What would actually help?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: What am I missing?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, those are questions that you will phrase to yourself.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I will say something else, and not everybody agrees with me initially on that.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the old perspective of there's no such thing as a silly question.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And as wonderful as a suggestion as that is, there are some silly questions that I've heard and some silly questions that I've asked until I learned to think first.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not to think forever, but to consider.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Should I know this?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Has this been presented before?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Is this something that a person can just puzzle together or figure out by themselves?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: If so, let's put our minds to work.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's not ask questions and ask other people to do our thinking for us.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: But instead, in relationships, ask questions like, what do you need right now?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: At work, what's the real objective?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: How can I have more responsibility in making sure this gets done?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And in life, what matters most here?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: What's really important?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: What are my priorities?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And how am I displaying my values and how I'm conducting myself?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't a one-time skill to ask better questions.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a continuous practice that upgrades how you think.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: However, it will make a dramatic difference in your life, and it will make a dramatic difference in how people regard you and how they interact with you.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Habit number five: move your body daily for effect.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Move your body.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is not about optimization, it's about activation.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need the perfect workout, you don't need a full routine, you need to move more.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Take it up a notch.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because movement affects your energy, your mood, your clarity.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And when your body moves, your mind follows.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: We had a blog recently that went out for proof of living, and it was flex your physical vitality.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the most reliable ways to improve your day every day.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: No drama, just movement.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And enjoy it.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Habit number six, reduce friction and unnecessary conflict.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when you are making progress, you are likely to encounter friction.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: When you're dealing with other people, you are likely to need to engage in conflict from time to time.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: However, the habit is reducing friction, not eliminating it, not avoiding it, and the habit is reducing unnecessary conflict, not avoiding it, not pretending you agree with everything.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Just reduce friction and unnecessary conflict.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Some problems don't need to be solved.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: They need to be prevented.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Friction shows up as clutter, disorganization, inefficiency, and sometimes resistance from other people.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Conflict shows up as miscommunication, assumptions, avoidable tension, being too combative.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, what can I simplify?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: What can I clean up here, so to speak?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: What conversation could I handle better or earlier?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: What's the best approach to this dialogue?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: When you reduce friction, things flow, and when you reduce unnecessary conflict, relationships improve.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's a simple metaphor I want to give you.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: Be a social Zamboni.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: A Zamboni, of course, is the wonderful machine that goes along the ice and smooths it out.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: A social Zamboni would be somebody that makes it so that the relationships that they engage, the interactions that they have, the communication that they participate in goes well and goes smoothly.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: No bumps.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Be a social Zamboni.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Habit number seven, anticipate and respond.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Don't simply react.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Anticipate and respond.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, reaction is the most basic way that people react to things.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Reaction is automatic.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Responding is intentional.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And anticipating, that's the higher art.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's awareness.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's maturity.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's leadership.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that, frankly, is intelligence.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of being surprised by everything, start asking, what's likely to happen here?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: How do I want to handle it when it does?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: What could go wrong?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you will be surprised and delighted when you have the ability to look for the unintended consequences and prevent them.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: That is a skill that is welcome anywhere, professionally, socially, and in your personal relationships.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: So when the moment comes, you are ready.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't get pulled into emotion.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't choose your responses.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is emotional control in real time.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's emotional maturity.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Habit number eight.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do one thing that moves you forward daily.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do one thing every day that moves you forward.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Big or small, it's your choice.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: But do something.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is how momentum is built.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Remember the formula for perpetual momentum.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Mindset.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I can build my own momentum.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Focus.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I'm going to do with my momentum.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Action.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Taking effective action is the way to start.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Then we form our habits, and we're right full circle back to our habits today.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Momentum is not built in bursts, not in flashes, not in theory, but in daily movement.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You make the call, you take the step, you move the needle, and over time this becomes your identity.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm someone who moves forward.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm someone who makes positive things happen.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's powerful.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the eight.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not complicated, not overwhelming, but effective.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And here's your key.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need all eight.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Pick one, get started, do it consistently, then add another.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's how change happens, and that's what habits will do for you.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: They become easier because they become ingrained and they are energy savers.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: So change does not happen all at once.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, it does not happen with a flash and a bang.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: Step by step, habit by habit, day by day.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now we want to add a new sector to our no-cry zone, and that is best in small doses.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Start slightly earlier.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Give your priorities a head start.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Finish what you start.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Build confidence and trust.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Be helpful.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Say it or do it.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just be a net positive.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: Ask better questions.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Upgrade your thinking.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: And help upgrade the thinking of those around you.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not from an ego perspective, but just from a net positive perspective.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Move your body daily with purpose, energy, drives everything, and maintains your perpetual momentum.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Reduce friction in unnecessary conflict.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Make life flow.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Be a social zamboni.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Anticipate and respond.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: Don't react.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Do one thing daily that moves you forward because momentum builds your identity and creates the optimal future you're working towards.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need a new life.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: You need better habits, repeated consistently.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's happiness in the no cry zone.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Friendly reminder, unreluctance day is coming, June 30th.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be big again.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So get ready to say so long to all your soft language.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Excuses, needless pause, and hems and haws.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's get out there and be creatures of supportive habits.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great week.