Latest / The You Project / #1929 Finding Your Purpose - Harps
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Get a team. I hope you're bloody terrific. So I'm
- 0:03Speaker 1: not sure exactly where I'm going to go today, so
- 0:06Speaker 1: I'm bear with me. It could be good, it could
- 0:08Speaker 1: be a train wreck. You choose keep listening or turn
- 0:12Speaker 1: off as always up to you your discretion. But I
- 0:17Speaker 1: do want to talk about an interesting topic, and that
- 0:22Speaker 1: is the topic of purpose. What is my purpose? What
- 0:26Speaker 1: is your purpose? Do we have a purpose? Do we
- 0:28Speaker 1: have one? Do we have many? How do we find it?
- 0:30Speaker 1: What is it? Is it a compelling force? Is it
- 0:34Speaker 1: our kind of north star? Do we default to our
- 0:38Speaker 1: purpose to figure out what we should do and not
- 0:41Speaker 1: do and what decisions we should make, an action we
- 0:43Speaker 1: should take, and how we should respond. And this is
- 0:48Speaker 1: a conversation, just the broad purpose conversation I've been having
- 0:53Speaker 1: with people for a long time, people that are training
- 0:57Speaker 1: with me or being mentored or coached by me, but
- 1:00Speaker 1: also you know, people that have helped me along the way,
- 1:03Speaker 1: and also just you know friends and family where we
- 1:05Speaker 1: just talk about stuff. So what I'm about to share
- 1:08Speaker 1: with you is definitely not, you know, the final word
- 1:12Speaker 1: on purpose, but it's my thoughts on it. It's my
- 1:15Speaker 1: thoughts on it based on you know, my research and
- 1:21Speaker 1: my work and my interactions and my journey and my
- 1:24Speaker 1: personal you know fuck ups and failures and breakthroughs and breakdowns,
- 1:29Speaker 1: and my own soul searching and my own kind of
- 1:33Speaker 1: you know, journey that has taken me far and wide
- 1:37Speaker 1: and out of that. I've got a bit of an
- 1:38Speaker 1: idea about for me what purpose is, so we might
- 1:44Speaker 1: start there. And obviously this is just my thoughts. So
- 1:49Speaker 1: for me, purpose is purpose is My purpose is? Well,
- 1:56Speaker 1: it can be found at the what's the right term,
- 2:02Speaker 1: I don't know, at the intersection maybe of where my
- 2:05Speaker 1: beliefs and values and goals I should probably write nights
- 2:12Speaker 1: and passion and connection and contribution and meaning and growth
- 2:18Speaker 1: and pain and joy. It's where all that stuff kind
- 2:22Speaker 1: of intersects. It's not always fun like out finding our purpose,
- 2:28Speaker 1: being aligned to our purpose, operating within the parameters of
- 2:34Speaker 1: our purpose, and trying to live our purpose in the
- 2:39Speaker 1: middle of trials and tribulations and tricky situations and peaks
- 2:43Speaker 1: and troughs and emotions and tough relationships and good days
- 2:47Speaker 1: and bad days and physical mental emotional challenges, and trying
- 2:51Speaker 1: to live our purpose in the middle of all of that.
- 2:54Speaker 1: Whatever our purpose is can be a challenge, and I
- 3:00Speaker 1: think one of my early questions was, what is it
- 3:06Speaker 1: even like this idea of, you know, when you find
- 3:09Speaker 1: your kind of I think the story that I grew
- 3:12Speaker 1: up with and maybe you grew up with is that
- 3:13Speaker 1: when you find your purpose, well, your life will be
- 3:16Speaker 1: better and then you'll know how to live because you'll
- 3:19Speaker 1: live a life of purpose and a life of choices
- 3:23Speaker 1: and behaviors and lifestyle and relationships and all of those
- 3:26Speaker 1: things aligned to that purpose that you somehow figure out
- 3:32Speaker 1: what that is. But one, how do we figure out
- 3:35Speaker 1: what it is? Two? Is it one thing? Like? Do
- 3:41Speaker 1: you only have a purpose? Yes? My purpose is to
- 3:47Speaker 1: help people get in shape. Okay, well, surely there's more
- 3:52Speaker 1: to you, Craig than that. Maybe that was one of
- 3:55Speaker 1: your purposes. Maybe we have a bunch of not a
- 3:58Speaker 1: single purpose. But maybe maybe the overarching purpose for me
- 4:03Speaker 1: might be in this little example that I am valuable
- 4:06Speaker 1: to others, that I am at the service of others.
- 4:10Speaker 1: Maybe that's my purpose. And by the way, of course,
- 4:13Speaker 1: I do a lot of things in my life which
- 4:15Speaker 1: don't fall under the banner of you know, living in purpose.
- 4:19Speaker 1: That might be I'm you know, it might be I'm
- 4:21Speaker 1: going to the gym or I'm riding my motorbike, and
- 4:23Speaker 1: I ain't part of my purpose. It's just shit that
- 4:25Speaker 1: I do. But if I go, well, what is my
- 4:27Speaker 1: compelling force? What is the thing that really drives me
- 4:32Speaker 1: to learn and grow and evolve and to serve? What
- 4:34Speaker 1: does that look like? And so for me, you know
- 4:39Speaker 1: that part of my purpose at the very least is
- 4:42Speaker 1: serving others and learning and teaching, and I guess, I
- 4:49Speaker 1: guess helping people to understand their own potential. And that's
- 4:56Speaker 1: something that I've really been what's the word, not frustrated,
- 5:01Speaker 1: but almost frustrated with almost anxious, not anxious, sad about
- 5:07Speaker 1: with people where I see people's potential. I see people's
- 5:12Speaker 1: capacity to do great things often when they don't see it.
- 5:18Speaker 1: And you know, so often especially when I'm for example,
- 5:20Speaker 1: doing a mentoring group, like I'm in the well, I'm
- 5:23Speaker 1: not in the middle. I'm week nine. I finished week
- 5:26Speaker 1: nine of ten weeks last night with a group that
- 5:28Speaker 1: I'm with and they're great and we have a good time.
- 5:33Speaker 1: And you know, essentially in a mentoring group, there's there's
- 5:37Speaker 1: some interaction, there's some Q and A, there's some back
- 5:39Speaker 1: and forth. But a lot of it is me sharing
- 5:43Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas and strategies and messages and downloading hopefully
- 5:47Speaker 1: a bit of inspiration and information and education. But ultimately,
- 5:53Speaker 1: what I am giving them all I can give them
- 5:56Speaker 1: on an interactive zoom call to people all around Australia
- 5:59Speaker 1: and around the world. All I can share is the
- 6:02Speaker 1: theory of whatever it is we're talking about. All I
- 6:07Speaker 1: can do is provide the theory of you know, food
- 6:12Speaker 1: or exercise, or lifestyle, or self management or self awareness
- 6:15Speaker 1: or self regulation or building a business, or overcoming addiction,
- 6:19Speaker 1: or being the calm and the chaos equanimity, or all
- 6:23Speaker 1: of these great things that we talk about, you know,
- 6:25Speaker 1: creating change, creating positive and lasting change. You know, reprogramming
- 6:30Speaker 1: our mind, creating a new normal and new default setting,
- 6:33Speaker 1: and you know who we want to become and our
- 6:35Speaker 1: reason and our drivers and all of those things. Right,
- 6:38Speaker 1: And I'm constantly doing what I'm doing now, which is
- 6:42Speaker 1: I'm talking to someone or someone's But my frustration, on
- 6:47Speaker 1: my my angst lies in how do I actually get
- 6:55Speaker 1: people too? And I know I can't, but how do
- 6:58Speaker 1: I talk in a way, How do I anyway even
- 7:01Speaker 1: in this moment, how do I share these thoughts and
- 7:03Speaker 1: ideas around purpose that's going to be valuable to people,
- 7:07Speaker 1: to you the listener, and then more importantly, perhaps not
- 7:10Speaker 1: only how do I make it valuable and how do
- 7:13Speaker 1: I make it relevant and meaningful and understandable, but how
- 7:17Speaker 1: do I increase the chances of you doing something with
- 7:23Speaker 1: the theory that you hear right now? And so that's,
- 7:27Speaker 1: you know, that's one of my ever present thoughts is
- 7:29Speaker 1: how do I get people to lean into their own ability,
- 7:34Speaker 1: to be courageous, be brave, step out of the little
- 7:39Speaker 1: safety in it that they live in or the little
- 7:41Speaker 1: box that they live in, and try new things and
- 7:43Speaker 1: do new things and fall down and get back up
- 7:45Speaker 1: and be okay and get embarrassed and all of that
- 7:49Speaker 1: stuff that's part of the human experience. And so I'm
- 7:52Speaker 1: always thinking about how do I help others find their
- 7:57Speaker 1: purpose and live purpose? And I guess their purpose and
- 8:01Speaker 1: I guess, you know, part of my purpose is to
- 8:04Speaker 1: help others live their purpose. That's interesting, isn't it. I
- 8:07Speaker 1: just thought that now as I'm going so, and I
- 8:12Speaker 1: think another question is, and forgive me if I'm rambling,
- 8:15Speaker 1: but is my purpose the same forever or is the
- 8:23Speaker 1: thing that drives me, my north star, my internal sat nab,
- 8:26Speaker 1: my reasons, whatever, whatever that all kind of intermingles with purpose.
- 8:33Speaker 1: Is that the same when I'm twenty five or thirty five?
- 8:36Speaker 1: Does it evolve? Does it change? Is the thing that
- 8:39Speaker 1: was really could it be that the thing that was
- 8:42Speaker 1: really important to me to do, to be, to create,
- 8:45Speaker 1: to live when I was thirty that at sixty one
- 8:48Speaker 1: that's not the same anymore? And is that bad? Or
- 8:51Speaker 1: is that just an evolution or is it something else?
- 8:54Speaker 1: And my suggestion is that for most of us, our purpose,
- 9:00Speaker 1: our reason, our primary driver will evolve over time. It
- 9:06Speaker 1: won't be the same necessarily, and that's not good or bad.
- 9:11Speaker 1: But many things, most things, I would think, within the
- 9:15Speaker 1: context of the human experience, are fluid, They are dynamic,
- 9:20Speaker 1: They evolve, they change, and as you change, as you
- 9:24Speaker 1: learn it and grow and evolve and become more self
- 9:28Speaker 1: aware and open new doors and have greater understanding and
- 9:31Speaker 1: greater insight and greater resilience, and you learn new things,
- 9:35Speaker 1: and you have perhaps a different focus and a different
- 9:38Speaker 1: kind of lens through which you view the world, and
- 9:42Speaker 1: you've had new experiences and new encounters and different moments.
- 9:47Speaker 1: Maybe maybe in the middle of all of that, your
- 9:50Speaker 1: purpose is evolving, if not completely transforming. Maybe the thing
- 9:56Speaker 1: that was really important to you twenty years ago is
- 9:59Speaker 1: completely unimportant now. Maybe your focus, maybe your reason for being,
- 10:06Speaker 1: maybe your purpose is completely changed. Maybe it's come out
- 10:13Speaker 1: of an experience you had, Maybe you've seen something. Maybe
- 10:18Speaker 1: you've been in the middle of a situation, a circumstance,
- 10:21Speaker 1: an event happening that you had a revelation, and in
- 10:27Speaker 1: the middle of that experience, in the middle of that thing,
- 10:31Speaker 1: you realize that you wanted to do something about that.
- 10:35Speaker 1: Maybe you had a bad experience, and maybe you don't
- 10:38Speaker 1: want to have that bad experience again, and maybe you
- 10:41Speaker 1: want to help others not have that bad experience. And
- 10:44Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that, some passion grew,
- 10:46Speaker 1: some awareness grew, some inspiration and motivation grew, and this
- 10:51Speaker 1: became your new focus. This became your new reason, This
- 10:55Speaker 1: became your focus. But ten years ago, you hadn't yet
- 10:59Speaker 1: had that experience, you hadn't yet had that revelation. I think,
- 11:06Speaker 1: like many things, you know, purpose is something that is
- 11:12Speaker 1: cultivated and grows and evolves, and it's kind of sometimes
- 11:18Speaker 1: you know, sometimes there might be a lightning bolt. I
- 11:21Speaker 1: don't think often. I think I think people think they're
- 11:25Speaker 1: going to, you know, they're going to find their purpose
- 11:27Speaker 1: one day, like they're going to find their car keys.
- 11:30Speaker 1: It's like, in a moment, what here it is found?
- 11:32Speaker 1: It's over here. It's just it's just down here next
- 11:35Speaker 1: to my coffee cup. Here's my purpose, you know. And look,
- 11:38Speaker 1: maybe people do that, not in my experience, not with
- 11:41Speaker 1: the people that I've worked with. I think that it's
- 11:45Speaker 1: something that almost reveals itself. It kind of finds you,
- 11:50Speaker 1: It reveals itself over time. And I think in general terms,
- 11:57Speaker 1: purposes something that expands beyond the self. In the middle
- 12:02Speaker 1: of your life, it's bigger than you, it's bigger than me.
- 12:05Speaker 1: It's not about you necessarily. That doesn't mean that you
- 12:07Speaker 1: don't benefit from it, or that you can't at all
- 12:11Speaker 1: be looking after you. It doesn't mean that, of course,
- 12:14Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that. But I think for most people
- 12:18Speaker 1: it's you know, when we talk about the role of
- 12:20Speaker 1: surface service, that purpose often expands beyond self interest. And
- 12:27Speaker 1: I think I think we also confuse, you know, things,
- 12:33Speaker 1: certain things with purpose, like career purpose. I would argue
- 12:37Speaker 1: that that career does not equal purpose. I would argue
- 12:44Speaker 1: that career is a vehicle to perhaps live your purpose,
- 12:51Speaker 1: that your career could be a vehicle and purpose is
- 12:56Speaker 1: the destination. A career can help you express your purpose
- 13:02Speaker 1: or it can completely derail you from your purpose, depending
- 13:05Speaker 1: on what it is. I think also, especially in the
- 13:09Speaker 1: days of you know, social media and podcasts and Instagram
- 13:13Speaker 1: and all the things you know, is that people if
- 13:16Speaker 1: you look at how some people live, you would think
- 13:19Speaker 1: that their purpose was to become more and more popular.
- 13:25Speaker 1: Wherein truth and by the way, being popular, not that
- 13:28Speaker 1: being popular is a bad thing, but I don't know
- 13:30Speaker 1: that popularity is the idea that popularity equals purpose. I
- 13:38Speaker 1: don't think that's a healthy idea. I don't think that
- 13:41Speaker 1: ends well. So perhaps popularity is a metric, and perhaps
- 13:48Speaker 1: purpose is a mission chasing validation about being liked and
- 13:57Speaker 1: versus living on purpose is a out being aligned. I
- 14:03Speaker 1: think also some people I reckon I was going to
- 14:08Speaker 1: say I was one of I don't think I was.
- 14:10Speaker 1: I think I was close to this, and that is
- 14:12Speaker 1: money being our purpose, Like my purpose is to make money.
- 14:18Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with making money, nothing wrong with being incredibly wealthy,
- 14:21Speaker 1: building a brand, building a business. Having all more dough
- 14:24Speaker 1: than you can spend, knock yourself out. Nothing bad about that.
- 14:27Speaker 1: But for me, money is a resource, not a reason.
- 14:32Speaker 1: You know, money is a tool. Purpose is a truth.
- 14:34Speaker 1: Money can fund your mission, but it can't be your mission.
- 14:39Speaker 1: I'm going to say that again. Money can fund your mission,
- 14:42Speaker 1: but it probably shouldn't be your mission. It can be
- 14:46Speaker 1: a resource to help you do awesome stuff, to serve others,
- 14:50Speaker 1: to create change, to be of value, to get the
- 14:55Speaker 1: needle moving on the things you want to move the
- 14:59Speaker 1: needle on. So it can be a valuable resource, but
- 15:01Speaker 1: it's probably not a reason for your existence. And we've
- 15:05Speaker 1: seen time and time again with people whose identity is
- 15:10Speaker 1: completely intertwined with their wealth. Well, that never ends well
- 15:15Speaker 1: because they never get to a number where the number
- 15:22Speaker 1: is satisfactory. Oh I've got two billion. I'm done. I'm happy,
- 15:27Speaker 1: I'm content, I'm fulfilled. I'm financially set, and I'm spiritually
- 15:31Speaker 1: and emotionally and socially and physically. I'm set. I'm good.
- 15:35Speaker 1: I got to the number. All I wanted was two billion,
- 15:39Speaker 1: All I wanted was two million, All I wanted was
- 15:41Speaker 1: two hundred grand. Whatever the number is, I'm at the number,
- 15:44Speaker 1: and now I'm good because money is not purpose. Money
- 15:48Speaker 1: is a tool, money is a resource, and maybe maybe
- 15:53Speaker 1: part of your mission is to create lots and lots
- 15:56Speaker 1: and lots of dough so you can help lots and
- 15:58Speaker 1: lots of people. And I'm not trying to sound judge
- 16:01Speaker 1: you here, and as I'm saying, I'm thinking, maybe it
- 16:05Speaker 1: does sound a bit judge. I don't think there's anything
- 16:07Speaker 1: wrong with making lots of money. I make reasonable money.
- 16:11Speaker 1: I get paid quite well for my corporate speaking all
- 16:14Speaker 1: of those things, and I'm very grateful. But in the
- 16:16Speaker 1: middle of all of that, I realize what it is
- 16:19Speaker 1: and what it isn't and what money is for me,
- 16:21Speaker 1: And I think what money probably should be for most
- 16:24Speaker 1: of us is something that we can use to do good,
- 16:28Speaker 1: do good for ourselves, or do good for others. That's
- 16:31Speaker 1: just my slightly moralistic take on money. Do with what
- 16:37Speaker 1: you will. And I think the last one, so we've
- 16:39Speaker 1: got career, money, popularity. The last one on the you
- 16:43Speaker 1: know kind of purpose, fake purpose kind of list is
- 16:50Speaker 1: comfort And you know, comfort is a state and purpose
- 16:57Speaker 1: is a compass. Like we don't find perp in the
- 17:00Speaker 1: comfort zone generally. Again, nothing wrong with being comfortable. But
- 17:05Speaker 1: when our mission in life is to take the easy path,
- 17:10Speaker 1: when our reason for choosing anything is because it's the
- 17:14Speaker 1: most comfortable route, very very likely that we're going to
- 17:18Speaker 1: be fulfilled, that we're going to grow, that we're going
- 17:20Speaker 1: to evolve, that we're going to become a better version
- 17:24Speaker 1: of us. And back to the matter of how do
- 17:31Speaker 1: we find or identify or cultivate our purpose. I think
- 17:39Speaker 1: this is a weird saying, but I think the clues
- 17:41Speaker 1: are in the pain. I think the clues are in
- 17:45Speaker 1: the pain. Think about, like what breaks your heart, think
- 17:49Speaker 1: about what upsets you, think about what pisces you off,
- 17:55Speaker 1: What do you want to fight for? What do you
- 17:57Speaker 1: want to fix? As I said before, you know, purpose
- 18:02Speaker 1: often grows from or a rises out of adversity or
- 18:08Speaker 1: deep emotion. And as I intimated before, for me, it's
- 18:15Speaker 1: painful watching people suffer that I know don't need to suffer.
- 18:23Speaker 1: I know they've got the potential to rise above that,
- 18:26Speaker 1: to do better, create better, produce better. People that I
- 18:30Speaker 1: see who are wasting their body, they're wasting their genetics
- 18:35Speaker 1: because they're doing bad, self destructive things to their body.
- 18:40Speaker 1: And I'm not being judgmental I'm being compassionate. I don't
- 18:44Speaker 1: care what they look like or what they weigh. There's
- 18:47Speaker 1: no judgment in terms of you know, aesthetics or anything like.
- 18:51Speaker 1: It's only about I want you to have a healthy
- 18:54Speaker 1: body to live in for as long as possible. And
- 18:57Speaker 1: I'm watching you and I'm seeing you destroy your body
- 19:00Speaker 1: with bad behaviors and bad choices, and it makes me
- 19:04Speaker 1: sad because I know that you can be healthy and
- 19:07Speaker 1: amazing and so too, you know, with other habits and
- 19:11Speaker 1: other you know, people who have talked themselves into a
- 19:16Speaker 1: corner where they have convinced themselves that they're useless, that
- 19:21Speaker 1: they're hopeless, that they are inept, that they are unlovable,
- 19:24Speaker 1: that they are untalented, that they don't have the potential
- 19:27Speaker 1: to create something special. And I see more potential in
- 19:32Speaker 1: them than they've ever seen. I see more in five
- 19:35Speaker 1: seconds than they've seen in themselves in five decades sometimes.
- 19:39Speaker 1: And so for me that you know, the clues are
- 19:43Speaker 1: in the pain. That's where part of it came from.
- 19:45Speaker 1: For me, for being the fat kid, the kid that
- 19:47Speaker 1: was picked last, all those boring Craig Harper stories, all
- 19:51Speaker 1: of that bullshit, right, But at the same time, that
- 19:54Speaker 1: bullshit was real. That bullshit was painful, It was uncomfortable,
- 19:57Speaker 1: it was emotional, you know, falling down and failing and
- 20:01Speaker 1: being embarrassed and humiliated and all of that kind of
- 20:04Speaker 1: you know, marginalized somewhat at times, all of that shit,
- 20:07Speaker 1: which is part of the human experience, of course, but
- 20:09Speaker 1: for me, that really compelled me to one do better
- 20:15Speaker 1: for myself and then off the back of that, help
- 20:19Speaker 1: others do better also. So all right, heading towards the end,
- 20:25Speaker 1: I want to weave in a couple of kind of
- 20:29Speaker 1: psychological and vaguely research based well not vaguely research psychology threads,
- 20:37Speaker 1: not high level science. But you know, one of my
- 20:40Speaker 1: favorite authors was Victor Frankel, who of course wrote Man's
- 20:45Speaker 1: Search for Meaning and also developed logo therapy, form of
- 20:52Speaker 1: kind of existential psychology, psychotherapy based on the based on
- 20:59Speaker 1: the idea that the primary human driver is not as
- 21:03Speaker 1: much pleasure or power, but meaning, and so he was
- 21:09Speaker 1: all about this purpose and meaning. Victor Frankel, of course,
- 21:12Speaker 1: he was a survivor of being a prisoner of war
- 21:17Speaker 1: in the Second World War, and he was an Austrian psychiatrist.
- 21:23Speaker 1: But one of his famous quotes was those who have
- 21:26Speaker 1: a why to live can bear almost any how. Those
- 21:32Speaker 1: who have a why, a reason, a driver, a purpose,
- 21:36Speaker 1: I'm adding in some Craig words, to live can bear
- 21:40Speaker 1: almost any how. And he did that. He was one
- 21:44Speaker 1: of the few people that survived the most horrendous, heinous, horrible,
- 21:50Speaker 1: inhumane conditions. And then you know, in the middle of
- 21:56Speaker 1: I can't remember if he said this or I just
- 22:00Speaker 1: thought he said this, but I'm pretty sure he said
- 22:04Speaker 1: they can something like they can take everything from me,
- 22:07Speaker 1: but they can't take my mind. And I love that.
- 22:10Speaker 1: I love that. I love that, as hard as it is,
- 22:14Speaker 1: sometimes we still get to manage what goes on in
- 22:17Speaker 1: our head. Ain't always easy, of course. And I also
- 22:22Speaker 1: love a concept called icky guy, which is ikey guy
- 22:26Speaker 1: spelled I k i g ai ikey guy, which is
- 22:30Speaker 1: a Japanese concept. And in this concept, it's really the
- 22:38Speaker 1: intersection of what you love, what you're good at, what
- 22:43Speaker 1: the world needs, and what you can be paid for.
- 22:47Speaker 1: And I love that because that's where for me, I
- 22:51Speaker 1: think that sentence, and I'm very grateful because it took
- 22:54Speaker 1: me a very long time that that concept, that word,
- 22:59Speaker 1: that term iky guy, that's almost representative of my life now.
- 23:04Speaker 1: It wasn't for a long time. But I'll just say again,
- 23:07Speaker 1: I'll just share it with you again. So ikey guy.
- 23:09Speaker 1: That the Japanese term for essentially what it means is
- 23:14Speaker 1: it is the intersection of what you love, what you're
- 23:17Speaker 1: passionate about, what you're good at doing, what you excel at,
- 23:21Speaker 1: what the world needs, as in what people need, what
- 23:24Speaker 1: you're bringing to the world, remember, a purpose bigger than
- 23:26Speaker 1: you and something you can make a few bucks from.
- 23:31Speaker 1: It exactly describes part of my life anyway. Number three
- 23:40Speaker 1: on my little list here that I've got is self
- 23:43Speaker 1: determination theory, which is autonomy, competence, and relatedness are essential
- 23:51Speaker 1: psychological needs. I'll say him again. Autonomy, competence, and relatedness
- 23:57Speaker 1: are all essential psychological needs, and they often correlate with purpose.
- 24:04Speaker 1: Is you figuring out who you are, who you want
- 24:07Speaker 1: to be, what you want to connect with, what your
- 24:11Speaker 1: reason is. And in the middle of all of that
- 24:14Speaker 1: sometimes we find clarity about why we're here or our
- 24:21Speaker 1: ideas about why we're here and what we're going to
- 24:24Speaker 1: do and who we're going to be or who we
- 24:26Speaker 1: want to be moving forward and building creating I guess
- 24:30Speaker 1: a purpose driven life an aligned life, a life and
- 24:35Speaker 1: an operating system, a way of being, an existence that
- 24:40Speaker 1: is reflective of you know, our values, our faith, our beliefs,
- 24:45Speaker 1: the things that matter to us, the things we want
- 24:48Speaker 1: to do, be create, change, our goals. And the last
- 24:55Speaker 1: one I want to share with you is a little
- 24:57Speaker 1: bit of a red herring compared to the rest, a
- 25:00Speaker 1: little bit of an outlier. It's interesting though, And so
- 25:03Speaker 1: there's been research looking at the correlation between or the
- 25:09Speaker 1: relationship between life satisfaction. So you would think a person
- 25:13Speaker 1: living their purpose would have a high level of satisfaction.
- 25:16Speaker 1: So we might tie those in purpose, life satisfaction, and
- 25:20Speaker 1: mortality and mortality studies, I should say. And so what
- 25:26Speaker 1: we know is that purpose correlates with living our purpose,
- 25:30Speaker 1: having a clearly defined purpose, executing that living in the
- 25:34Speaker 1: middle of it correlates with reduced risk of Alzheimer's, of
- 25:39Speaker 1: cardiovascular disease, and of depression. So living a purpose filled
- 25:45Speaker 1: or purpose driven life is literally good for our health. Alrighty,
- 25:52Speaker 1: So let me finish with four questions that just simple
- 25:57Speaker 1: questions to think about that might help you find a
- 26:01Speaker 1: little bit of clarity. Questions that I've asked myself and
- 26:05Speaker 1: I ask others about this. So question one is this,
- 26:11Speaker 1: if you weren't worried about money failure or judgment, what
- 26:16Speaker 1: would you do more of? If you weren't worried about
- 26:20Speaker 1: money failure or the judgment of others, what would you
- 26:24Speaker 1: do more of? Question two, what's something that you do
- 26:32Speaker 1: that energizes you but drains others? What's something that you
- 26:39Speaker 1: can do that energizes you but drains others? And also
- 26:44Speaker 1: I would suspect in the energizing gives you joy. I
- 26:50Speaker 1: guess for me, I was thinking about that what energizes like,
- 26:54Speaker 1: what energizes me is talking to an audience. And it's
- 27:00Speaker 1: so funny that sometimes I can talk for three hours
- 27:04Speaker 1: and I come away from that. I might get on
- 27:10Speaker 1: stage at nine o'clock and finish at twelve or twelve thirty,
- 27:13Speaker 1: and we've had a small break, but essentially I've been
- 27:15Speaker 1: speaking for three hours, and I literally have better energy
- 27:19Speaker 1: at lunchtime than I did at breakfast time, despite the
- 27:22Speaker 1: fact that I've been doing something which for many people
- 27:26Speaker 1: would be overwhelmingly terrorizing and also energetically very expensive, And
- 27:35Speaker 1: I'm super grateful for that. So question number three is
- 27:38Speaker 1: what advice do people always come to you for like,
- 27:43Speaker 1: what do people need help with that come to see you?
- 27:48Speaker 1: What are you the person where people go, ah, really
- 27:49Speaker 1: need to help with this, or they know that you
- 27:52Speaker 1: are good at advising or helping or being of value
- 27:57Speaker 1: with a certain thing. You may or may not find
- 28:02Speaker 1: your purpose in the proximity of that. And my last
- 28:06Speaker 1: question for you is what's the thing that you would
- 28:10Speaker 1: regret not doing? What's the thing that you would regret
- 28:17Speaker 1: not doing? And so you know, here's the thing with
- 28:22Speaker 1: this stuff, like if you're waiting for you know, some
- 28:27Speaker 1: kind of lightning bolt or burning bush moment or dove
- 28:31Speaker 1: on the windowsill sent by God, probably not going to happen.
- 28:38Speaker 1: I think that more likely for us to find our
- 28:43Speaker 1: purpose and to start to move into that and to
- 28:47Speaker 1: live aligned with our purpose. It's about it's about asking
- 28:52Speaker 1: questions of others and of ourselves, of trying new things.
- 28:56Speaker 1: And I think sometimes over time we'll find clarity and
- 29:00Speaker 1: awareness and joy and will realize Oh, and sometimes it's
- 29:04Speaker 1: a really slow burn. And also, as I said earlier,
- 29:09Speaker 1: sometimes it isn't now what it was then. There was
- 29:13Speaker 1: a time where a big part of my purpose was
- 29:17Speaker 1: helping people get in shape physically that was a big
- 29:22Speaker 1: part of my purpose, and that did intersect with making
- 29:26Speaker 1: a few bucks and having fun, but also at the
- 29:28Speaker 1: same time helping people who needed physical help to do
- 29:33Speaker 1: good things to their body. For me, for a very
- 29:35Speaker 1: long time, that was a big part of who I was,
- 29:40Speaker 1: or my purpose at the very least, But these days
- 29:44Speaker 1: not so much. And it's not that that's a bad
- 29:47Speaker 1: thing or a bad purpose. It's just that I've changed.
- 29:51Speaker 1: And so my value and my value to others and
- 29:59Speaker 1: my capacity need to help others in different ways has evolved.
- 30:05Speaker 1: And now you know, yeah, I still talk to people
- 30:08Speaker 1: about their body, of course, but I talk to I'm
- 30:10Speaker 1: more interested in the person, the totality of the person,
- 30:14Speaker 1: than the body that they live in. And so that
- 30:16Speaker 1: might be mind stuff or body stuff, or emotional stuff,
- 30:19Speaker 1: or career stuff or internal you know, non physical stuff,
- 30:23Speaker 1: or the external practical, three dimensional we can all see
- 30:27Speaker 1: it stuff. But either way, I'm helping. I'm passionate about
- 30:31Speaker 1: helping you. I'm helping. I'm passionate about helping people become
- 30:37Speaker 1: the version of themselves that aligns with their values and
- 30:41Speaker 1: their purpose. And I guess also the version of themselves
- 30:45Speaker 1: that incorporates a level of calm and contentment and joy.
- 30:53Speaker 1: I probably should have thought about this more before I
- 30:55Speaker 1: open my mouth at the start of this, but again,
- 30:57Speaker 1: like I said at the start, this is me riffing.
- 31:01Speaker 1: I hope you got something from that, and I hope
- 31:04Speaker 1: you're great. See you next time.