Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why narcissists think you still care about them
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about how do narcissists know
- 0:06that you care? How do they know that you still
- 0:08care about them? How do they figure out that you
- 0:10still care? You have feeling for them.
- 0:12If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:13I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
- 0:16The Narcissist. I'll be bothering you.
- 0:37I'll be bothering behind the scenes when the intro be going
- 0:39up. Excuse me but yes y'all.
- 0:42How do they know that? How did they how did they just
- 0:43figure that you still care? You know, how do narcissists
- 0:46just go about you know what I know you still care about me.
- 0:48How? How the hell would they go about
- 0:51and assume that you still care? How do they know you know, I I
- 0:54get this question or form of this question a lot y'all a lot
- 0:58of people ask me this like lately.
- 0:59How would it? How do they know?
- 1:01How do they assume that we still care about them like how why
- 1:04would they think that I still care?
- 1:05We've been broken up for a year 2 years, three years.
- 1:08Why the hell would they think that I still think about them?
- 1:10Why the hell do they think that I would still care?
- 1:12I was I would ask have you blocked them?
- 1:15No, that's why that's one of the reasons why they think you still
- 1:19care, because if they feel like they still have some type of
- 1:22access to you, they feel like you still care.
- 1:25Because if you didn't care, you could just block me, couldn't
- 1:28you? If you really didn't care about
- 1:30me, you could just hit that block button and we can go about
- 1:33our we can go about our lives, right?
- 1:35But I'm not blocked, so that must mean that you still have
- 1:39feelings for me, that I'm not blocked.
- 1:41So that must mean that you care for me.
- 1:43I'm not blocked, so that must mean that.
- 1:47And you still want me to have access to you even if you've
- 1:50moved on? Even if I've moved on, I'm not
- 1:52blocked, right? So that's one.
- 1:54That's one way the narcissist think you still care.
- 1:56They just assume that you still care about them because you
- 1:58haven't blocked them. And y'all believe we have kids.
- 2:01I can't block them even that even that right there.
- 2:06That's the mindset, the mentality of narcissistic people
- 2:10right there. They think that there's one of
- 2:12the reasons there's more reason to go over, but one of the
- 2:14reasons is they're not blocked. They still have access to you in
- 2:17some way, shape or form. Y'all are still friends, right?
- 2:21This is their assuming y'all are still friends, so they feel like
- 2:24they let alone we're still friends and keep you in my keep
- 2:26you part of my life. I think you still care.
- 2:29Another reason why y'all, and this is another reason right
- 2:31here because they still care, you know, they still care about
- 2:35you. And again, yeah, I got to keep
- 2:38saying this done. I feel like I got to keep saying
- 2:41this right here. Just because I just said that
- 2:45they might still care about you does not mean you should go back
- 2:48into the toxicity. This is not the sign that you're
- 2:50looking for. Lee.
- 2:51Thank goodness I got it this morning.
- 2:52And I just wanted to hear your video and I just wanted to do
- 2:56they still care about me And you just said yes, I'm going to go
- 2:59back. No, no.
- 3:03Just because they care about you does not mean you should go back
- 3:05into the toxicity. Just because they maybe cared
- 3:08about you does not mean that you should allow them back into your
- 3:11life, into your space, into your, and to disrupt your peace.
- 3:14Just because they care about you does not mean that you should do
- 3:16things to your own detriment just because they care.
- 3:21You know just because they care does not mean you should do this
- 3:23type of stuff or say this type of stuff.
- 3:25Just because they care, it does not mean that you should like
- 3:28you mean this is the this is the factual information.
- 3:30Just because they care does not mean you should go about doing
- 3:33that type of stuff right there. Y'all, I'm just being real like
- 3:36you like should not go back to them just because they might
- 3:39care. Just ask yourself what it before
- 3:40you decide that right there, ask yourself what are they caring
- 3:43about or they care. They do actually care about me
- 3:45and they are actually going to treat me better.
- 3:47No, just because they have feelings for you, they might
- 3:50care about you in some way, shape or form, does not mean
- 3:52that they're going to treat you better.
- 3:54They think you belong to them. They care about you sometimes
- 3:57like they care about a toy. They just don't want anybody to
- 3:59play with the toy, even if they're done with the toy, so to
- 4:01speak. You know, I'm not calling you a
- 4:04toy. I'm just saying if you just, and
- 4:05this is me just giving an analogy right here, right
- 4:07metaphor, so to speak. But this is the mindset, the
- 4:10mentality of narcissistic people in those situations.
- 4:13But, and also like, because they care, like I said, because they
- 4:17care, they're projecting their feelings onto you.
- 4:19Like, well, I still care. I, I, I still think about them.
- 4:23So maybe they're still, that must mean that they're thinking
- 4:25about me. You know, I wouldn't get my
- 4:27tarot cards read. Tarot tarot cards read.
- 4:30And they said your ex still cares about you.
- 4:32Not just that's all I needed to hear.
- 4:34You know, it's all I needed to hear.
- 4:37It's all I needed to hear. So yeah, it's good.
- 4:40Maybe because they care about you.
- 4:42It's the reason that they didn't they, they, they, they think
- 4:44that you still care about them. Another thing y'all, another way
- 4:49the narcissist know think think I don't understand that you
- 4:51still care y'all, like I said, let me say this too.
- 4:53It doesn't matter if you if you still care about them, it
- 4:55doesn't mean you have to allow them access to into your life
- 4:57doesn't mean you have to be with them doesn't mean you have to be
- 4:59friends with them. You can love people from a
- 5:01distance. You can care about people from a
- 5:02distance you can care about and love people and not allow them
- 5:05back into your life. You understand that right?
- 5:07So just I had to get out the way you can love and care about
- 5:10people and not allow them into your life.
- 5:14So also, this is what I was going to say.
- 5:18Yeah. Another way that they think is
- 5:19you care is because you're reacting to them.
- 5:22Not only do they have access to you, you are giving them some
- 5:26type of reaction. This is like say again, when I
- 5:29say giving them some type of reaction, y'all could be broken
- 5:32up or y'all could still be in the same house.
- 5:33Y'all could be still living together and trying to work
- 5:36things out. And they is they get you.
- 5:38They they can get you. They can get you to react out of
- 5:40character. Like This is why I preach, and I
- 5:44probably say this 1000 times across all my channels.
- 5:46Controlling your reactions is a superpower.
- 5:50Controlling your reactions is absolutely a superpower.
- 5:56You know what I mean? This is the mindset, the
- 5:58mentality that the the dynamic is of what a lot of people
- 6:00experience right here. Like controlling your reactions
- 6:03can be a superpower right here for you to protect you.
- 6:07Not only does it protect you against like being recorded and
- 6:10being painted out to be an abuser or whatever, but it can
- 6:12also protect you from them thinking that you still care
- 6:15about them. You know, Oh, because they think
- 6:17they equate you, your reactions to love.
- 6:21They equate you reacting to them, that you still caring
- 6:24about them. They equate your reactions to
- 6:26them still mattering and them still having a place in your
- 6:30life. That's why I said controlling
- 6:31those reactions is absolutely a superpower.
- 6:35And I say superpower. This is me telling you that it's
- 6:38not an easy thing to do. Just because it's a superpower
- 6:41does not mean it's an easy thing to do.
- 6:43It shouldn't be the easy thing to do, y'all.
- 6:45This is you working on you. This is you empowering yourself.
- 6:47This is you being as strong as you possibly can.
- 6:50This is you being as strong as you possibly can be.
- 6:52So empower yourself to continue to move forward, to continue to
- 6:55do what you need to do or otherwise like you end up with
- 6:58toxic, narcissistic, abusive people that are going to keep
- 7:00being toxic, narcissistic and abusive people or you stay with
- 7:04them. You stay in it.
- 7:06You know, they just assume that you still care because like you
- 7:08are giving them some type of reaction.
- 7:09They assume that you still care because you still you have kids
- 7:12by them right, especially the kids look like them.
- 7:15They automatically assume that you still care.
- 7:16You must still love me. You can't you can never get up
- 7:19with me because we have kids together.
- 7:21I put a baby in them. I put a baby in you or I had I
- 7:24had your baby. You know what I'm saying?
- 7:26You can't escape me because I have a baby together.
- 7:28We're going to be in your life. You know, and this is the this
- 7:34is the type of likes of this stuff.
- 7:35Because y'all have kids together.
- 7:36They automatically assume that you're going to care care about
- 7:37them forever. Even if you move on, if you even
- 7:39if you're in a new relationship, they think that you still care
- 7:42about them. Narcissists are delusional like
- 7:44this is one reason they they think you still care is because
- 7:46they are delusional. Like you know me too.
- 7:47I can be delusional as well, but narcissistic people tend to be
- 7:51delusional. They tend to just try to make
- 7:53something out of nothing. They see that you, you might be
- 7:56in a loving, caring relationship, like a new healthy
- 7:58relationship. And they in their minds, they're
- 8:01convincing themselves that you're faking it and that you
- 8:04deep down that you want them back.
- 8:05So sometimes they think that you care.
- 8:07They think that you still care about them because they are
- 8:09delusional as hell. They just assumed they're just
- 8:12like, you must steal it. They just kind of get over me.
- 8:14That's fine. I know I'm good, you know, I
- 8:17mean, they ain't gonna do that. They ain't do that to me, you
- 8:20know what I'm saying? That's bad.
- 8:21This is how things break out. This is how they ain't got to be
- 8:23right here. But I say that to say this,
- 8:28y'all narcissistic people are going to continue to do whatever
- 8:31they want to do. They're going to continue to do
- 8:33whatever they feel like they're empowered to do.
- 8:35They're going to continue to do whatever they feel like is that,
- 8:38you know, helps them move and help them work in their best
- 8:40bet. They're going to continue to do
- 8:41whatever they feel like gives them the strong, makes them the
- 8:43strongest, makes them feel the strongest, makes them feel the
- 8:46most in charge. You know, so as long as they
- 8:48think that you still care, they won't leave you alone.
- 8:51And like I say, if you're talking to them, if you break no
- 8:54contact, if you're reaching out to them, if you're doing
- 8:57something that you know you shouldn't be doing, they think
- 8:59that you still care about them. You know, if you're reaching out
- 9:02to them like you're no contact, you had no contact for two
- 9:04months and then you just start missing them.
- 9:05Your song comes on right in Mariah Carey.
- 9:08When I left, I lost a part of me.
- 9:11And you just start singing that song, scream singing that song
- 9:13like you sing that song so loud. Your phone calls your ex.
- 9:16You see what I'm saying? Your fault.
- 9:17You like, it's just so hard to believe your fault.
- 9:20Like, dude, baby, baby, we belong together, baby.
- 9:23Your fault. Like calling baby.
- 9:26Calling ex your ex baby. What?
- 9:28No, Siri, no, no. You see what I'm saying?
- 9:31You. I don't understand how stupid.
- 9:35But yeah, I was just telling you, I just got to give you all
- 9:37the inside scoop of a narcissist's mind.
- 9:40So if you're doing any of these behaviors, they think that you
- 9:43still care about them. And the more that they think you
- 9:45still care, the more that they won't leave you alone.
- 9:48You know, some nurses won't leave you alone regardless
- 9:50because they, they, they, whether you care or not, they
- 9:53have this possessive mindset whether they would just refuse
- 9:55to leave you alone. And sometimes you have to force
- 9:57them to leave you alone. But the ones that do think that
- 10:00you care, they'll try to wear you down.
- 10:02They just will. They'll try to wear you down,
- 10:03they'll try to beat you down emotionally, they'll try to get
- 10:06back into your life. They'll just try to exhaust you
- 10:07until you just give in to their demands.
- 10:09Just like give in, make it, it makes it make it easy on
- 10:11yourself. Just give in to my demands.
- 10:13Give me what I want, them cheeks, and we'll just be fine
- 10:16again, you know? Don't give in, y'all.
- 10:18You have to keep fighting. You have to keep.
- 10:20When I say fighting, it doesn't mean arguing.
- 10:22You know, if you're arguing with them, they think you still care.
- 10:25So it's just like anything outside the norm, and sometimes
- 10:28even inside the norm makes them think that you still care about
- 10:32them. And a lot of times, if they
- 10:33think you still care, they will refuse to allow you to have
- 10:36peace outside of the relationship, outside of the
- 10:39space. You know, they'll understand.
- 10:41Like you keep working on yourself, keep powering up.
- 10:43You know, like, I feel like you'll be fine.
- 10:44Yeah, mostly I'll be fine. Most the ones that don't join my
- 10:49support group, the Mental Healers and let's chat.
- 10:52I got a bunch of messages in my support guy I got to respond to.
- 10:54Anyway. Anyway, y'all think I'll tune
- 10:56into another episode? I appreciate every single one of
- 10:58y'all. I love the the fact that y'all
- 11:00been rock with me on YouTube for almost 3 1/2 years.
- 11:04This is crazy. Y'all.
- 11:05If you haven't already, make sure you subscribe to the
- 11:07channel. You've been following me this
- 11:08long, you haven't subscribed to the channel.
- 11:10Follow my other channel Lee Actions and it's always y'all.
- 11:14Mental Healers is out. Peace.
- 11:17Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:19I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea?
- 11:22If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 11:24to the channel. Helps reach more people and
- 11:26click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
- 11:28another playlist. There's also a link on the
- 11:30screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
- 11:32you heal and understand what you've been through.
- 11:34Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
- 11:36video.