Latest / Forged In The Dark / Control What You Can. Release What You Can't
Transcript
- Forged In The Dark: People are going to disappoint you. Not possibly, not probably, not maybe. People, places, and things in life from time to time are going to disappoint you. Welcome to Forged in the Dark. I'm your host, Jamie. Let's dig in. Pretty much every week I end up in a conversation with someone about disappointment. Why did this happen to me? Why did he do that? Why didn't she do this? Why, why, why? We we spend so much time trying to understand the specifics And what we need to be be looking at is why we're actually disappointed in the first place. And you know, I always feel like such a jerk when I throw this back at someone and I say, why did you expect something different? Why did you expect something different? Or they just showed you who they are. But today I want to talk about the disappointments that aren't so easy to let go of. The things that that weigh heavy on your heart. Now, it was just the other day that I lingered in bed past all of the normal morning rituals and practices that I do before I get up. Because There was a conversation from the day before that was so heavy on my heart. and As I laid there in bed and really thought about this situation, I prayed. I prayed about it. I prayed for the people involved. I I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. And at the end of that prayer, I released it to the higher power. And in this situation, it wasn't even mine. It wasn't me and another person involved in this thing heavy on my heart. It was two other people altogether. This was not my weight to carry. I had done everything that I could to give solid counsel. And now it's time for me to let it go. And with it being so heavy on my heart, I did at the end of the prayer. Release it to God. But the thing is, I do this in my life. When something is too big, too confusing that I just don't understand. I turn to the higher power. Things that are too heavy to carry, I turn over to God. So I lingered in bed. And and I prayed on this and I released it again. And as I started to get out of bed, the serenity prayer popped into my head. And I immediately hopped right back into bed. And I started thinking about the serenity prayer. And then I grabbed my phone and and pulled up the original, which was it first documented about 10 years before the modified AA version. the two are strikingly similar. the the original was prepared for worship for a congregation where the AA version is more geared towards the individual. So I'm thinking about the Serenity Prayer. God grant me. The serenity. God grant me the grace. God allow me to accept what I cannot change. And I'm not trying to quote either version verbatim here. And so here I am. Okay, now I have my peace. I I I've released my heart is feeling good. I'm thinking about the serenity prayer. And I'm getting out of bed a third time. And now the words that popped into my head were Buddhist philosophy. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Okay, little pause here. Something about me. I I subscribe to many different theologies and philosophies. I I don't mix words when it comes to the higher power. As long as you believe in something bigger than yourself. so if we break this down, we have the original serenity prayer, and we have the modified AA version, and we have the Buddhist philosophy pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. We can't always control the painful situations that come into our lives. What you can control, you control your thoughts, you control your emotions. You control your feelings. You control your actions. You control if you respond or if you react. Allow me to release the things that I cannot change. If you find yourself in a place of great disappointment, first look at the situation and ask yourself what can I change? It's not about fault. I actually hate fault. It's my fault. It's your fault. Blah blah blah. People just going in circles, like blaming everybody else. Take a look at what you can do. Take a look at how you contributed to you getting here. Some situations we accidentally create. Some situations come at us and we don't even see them coming. We did nothing to attract it. Well, we I say we did nothing to attract it, but I mean there are some things that just happen in life that leave us scratching our heads. Everything, I say everything is an opportunity to go deep within yourself and figure out what is in your programming that is bringing those things into your experience. There are always going to be times in life where difficult and challenging situations come to you. What your job is here. Your job is to not disappoint yourself. Your job is to go deep within yourself and find that belief that is keeping this pattern going. And I mean, it's also your job to stop the pattern. And this is this is very much a faithful walk. Of faith fueled, walk the things that are too heavy for you to carry. Turn over to God. Give to the higher power. And it doesn't mean when you give something over to the higher power, it doesn't mean that that your answers are going to immediately be clear. And it doesn't mean you abandon the mission. Like you keep going forward, you keep doing the work. You do the work on yourself. You do the work at work. You do the work with your family. You keep doing the work. But this painful situation that may or may not even be yours to carry, this thing that is so heavy, give. It over to God. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. At some point, you have to make the conscious choice to stop the cycle you're in. The pain, the disappointment. We must learn to get to acceptance faster. And acceptance doesn't mean excusing. If this is a situation where someone mistreated you, I'm never talking about abuse or or neglect or or genuine toxic people mistreating you. But it the that that's never okay. But what are you carrying that once you set it down, once you turn it over to the higher power? Once you release that weight, what if that's all it takes for the things, the next thing, the thing that's supposed to be here to come in? It's like we have to make room. We have to make room in our hearts. We have to make room in our capacity. We have to make room in our lives for the things that we want to welcome in. Disappointment is always going to happen. But but what you choose to do with that disappointment, I mean, it's all on you 100% of the time. But it doesn't have to be just you. The higher power is always with you. So today I do want you to look at what in your life that is disappointing you, you can control. Look at what you can change. And really honestly, just go do this in the mirror. Because you are the only one that can change you. And somebody else is the only person that can change them. I know what it's like to go through life feeling disconnected from faith. But even when you don't acknowledge it, the higher power is always there with you. Control what you can. That's you. Let go of what you cannot accept. Come back to things like the serenity prayer and the Buddhist philosophy to remind yourself and make sure to be grateful. Thank God in there. Thank you, God, for taking this burden that is way too big Okay, that's what I have for you. Until next time.