Latest / Untraditionally Lala / The One About IVF, Twins, and Girl Dads with Kelly Stafford

Transcript

The One About IVF, Twins, and Girl Dads with Kelly Stafford · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hello, my loves, welcome back to give them La La
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: podcast is La La Kent. I've got my right hand
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: tea tea here and a very a very special guest,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: very someone who if if Ramnation is listening, they're gonna
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: be Is that what they're called, Kelly, Oh the Ramilly
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: what they're called?
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, I have Kelly Stafford here, and I'm freaking out
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: because let me tell you why. When I was thinking
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: about the direction of the pod and wanting to have
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: people on, especially women who have gone through fertility journeys,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: who are you know, mothers to four girls, I was
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: really drawn to that because I thought, holy shit, that
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: could be my future.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Give me the window to look into.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: But you live under a rock more than I do
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: when it comes to what's going on in the world,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: and like pop culture.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Oh oh yeah, girl, I'm not.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I have a podcast myself and my co host is
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: very much into the pop culture.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: But I am.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm too busy. I don't know. I
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: don't know what's going on in the world, which is
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: horrible to say. I honestly feel like sometimes like I
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: really need to dive in just a little bit. So
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: when people are carrying on a conversation. Maybe I can participate.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know you're in good company here, Okay,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: good I find out things. I'll go to my friends
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: and be like, did you hear prime example, I've talked
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: about this before, but I said to my friend, I
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: was like, have you heard of this army hammer who
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: like has a cannibal fetish? And they're like, that happened
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: six months ago. Yes, I'm like, it just popped up
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: on my feet like today, like recently.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: I actually knew about that one.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: This was a couple of years ago, but because six
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: months had passed since. But I was like, that's me
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: in a nutshell of like finding things out after everyone
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: has talked about it, no one cares, and then I've
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: officially entered the chat when no one's there anymore.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: I mean, I give you a lot of credit to
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: carry on a full podcast without really annoying what's going on.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: We just know the headlines. I've never thought of a
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: damn headline. I'll tell you what, I hate a headline.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: But you know that's okay, you know what, you have
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: a reason to hate to hate a headline. So your
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: co host for your podcast it's called The Morning After
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: with Kelly and Hank. Yep, Hank is like your guys band,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: like your gay husband.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Yep, sure is.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: He's from Detroit, Michigan, where we spent my husband, I
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: spent twelve years. He was like my only friend in
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Michigan basically, so we got really tight. He and he
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: got married now recently divorced and has a little girl
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: through adoption.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, how old is the little girl?
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: She is just from six?
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: She's five or six okay? Age?
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, and got her since very little and honestly meant
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: to be his daughter because she has his mannerisms all.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: In the place. Yes. Isn't that so wild? It is
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: crazy to see.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I mean, one, she doesn't shut up, which is very
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: much Hank, and I love him so much for that.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: But just everything she does, you just see him in her,
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: which is wild.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: That makes me so thrilled.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know what higher power you believe in, but
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: when it comes to adoption. I have people who are
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: close to me who have children through adoption, and it
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: is so crazy because I'm like, literally, these are not
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: biologically your parents, and you look so much like them,
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: you have personality traits.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It's just like this was intended by god, I completely agree.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I always thought I was this little girl
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: was meant to be yours.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: That makes it so? Is he still in Detroit? That
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: he's still in Detroit? Yeah? You guys record via zoom? Yeah?
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah remote? How does that? Do you like that? No?
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to get him to move here. But uh,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: he's pretty settled. He's born and raised Michigan, so he's
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: pretty settled there. Well, the headlines are, you're pretty settled
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: in LA For a minute. Now, let's go excited than
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: you are you?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, I really am.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: That was I mean, obviously what I wanted along and
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: my husband wanted along. We didn't want to leave. He
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: loves the Rams. So we're just pumped that one we're
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: here and two it's over.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Because because I want to ask you the mental stress
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: that you went through until the signing and how you
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: felt after he signed.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Oh god, the relief I felt was pretty unreal.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: You just you wake up every morning there's a new
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: headline were talking about, like the headline, Yeah, there's a
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: new headline of what rumor, what source is saying my
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: husband's gonna be traded here, my husband's gonna be traded there,
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: my husband's gonna stay. I mean, every day it was
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: something different. And obviously we have four girls. Yeah, I
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: would say if I didn't have those four girls, maybe
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: this stress would have been a little less and I'd
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: be like, okay whatever. Yeah, but having those little girls,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: you know, you have to plan, try to plan ahead.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: But with yeah, because you got a uproot.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well with this situation, you can't really plan ahead.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: And this is what happens in the end off al
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: a lot that people don't understand, Like guys get traded randomly,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: guys get cut, you know, and these families are just
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: having to pick up and move immediately, finding schools, finding
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: activities for their kids, finding where to live, where to
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: be that's close to the facility, but also in like
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: a good area. I don't know, it's just it becomes
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: a lot, and you tend to try to rely on
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: those that are there, but you're new, so even finding
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: those that are there can be.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Tough within like the facility or within the team.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: So I honestly I tried to stay away from media,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: but I was telling you guys earlier, our TVs live
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: on ESPN.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Right of course, even if I turn it on and
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: try to turn it really quickly. It's like you can't
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: unsee what you can't see it. And we live in
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: a day where like everything comes to our phones, so
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm getting it's almost reading your mind.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: So even if you don't want to see it, it's like,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: I know what you're thinking.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: So here's everything.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: Yes, if you typed in rams at all in the
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: past year, I felt like you were just fed these headlines, right,
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: So it was it was tough to live under a rock.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: I wish I could have for that time period. But honestly,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: so so happy and relieved that we are here to stay.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: We're thrilled about it. I mean I I could like, again,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: you get.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: That news and you see how one happy your husband is,
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: and then I'm like, let's get some cocktails, let's sell totally.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I am ready to just let loose because holy hell.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Of course, how long is he set to be here?
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Just so he's at a one year he's old.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, as.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: Careers, it's up to him and yeah.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: It's and it's a it's it's you know, the one
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: year deals are for him because if he wants to decide, well,
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: my husband commits to something he commits. So if he
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: committed to two years, even if he couldn't barely you know, move,
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: he would play that second year, right, even though it
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: wouldn't be good for him or the team or whatnot.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: So he felt like one year was important and what
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: he could manage and just go buy your right.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: You're by your basis from here on out.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: What is old in the NFL twenty eight Yeah, but
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: the really I mean yeah, quarterbacks obviously can play longer. Quarterbacks, kickers, punters,
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: long snappers.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: That's really okay.
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: You're looking at a thirty three thirty four retirement, right usually.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: And that's like a very very good at NFL.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Wow, people they play in the league three years,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: four years, and then you know, you get the new.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: Dude out of out of college. It's a revolving door.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Like what's that show on Hard Knocks?
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Hard Knocks? Yeah, if you haven't seen Hard Knocks, I've
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: seen Hard Knocks.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: You look into how hellish that life, yeah.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Can be. And that's why if you don't put the
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: and this is what you don't put the effort forward,
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: someone's ready to take your spot real quick.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: So I mean in this league and yees, so he is.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: I don't like to say I'm gonna say older. I'm
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: going to rephrase it.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: I was older and older, yes, so still playing like
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: a champ. I was watching because Easton had it on
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: the TV, the combine, and You're right, I was watching
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: how many players were there just like showing their stuff off,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, this is a lot of people to
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: be doing this, and I can't imagine that there's that
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: many people retiring.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: It was just wild. I'm not great at math, but
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I was doing the math and it wasn't mathing.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Got it. I would say, uh, there's not many people
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: are retiring, but there are people that are phased out there.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: It is. Yeah, And that's just the way the way
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the NFL wor it's every professional sport.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: When did you guys get together?
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: We met right before I started my freshman year of college.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, And where'd you go to school?
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: We both went to University of Georgia, so that's where
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: I was born and raised. That's a bulldog, right, that's
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: a bulldog.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: My great uncle wrote all of the books about the
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: rivalries between Georgia and Georgia Tech.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: No way, yes, wait, Why where did your uncle go Georgia?
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: You went to Georgia.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, and my mother's family they come from Georgia, so
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: big southern family, very into football. So I'm gonna have
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: to tell my mom that that you're a bulldog.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Wait are they still in Georgia. They're still in Georgia.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Some of them have trickled into North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: But Georgia is where like every family reunion is held.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Did you grow up in Georgia?
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I did not. No, I grew up in Salt Lake City. Okay.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: My mom's dad was in the army, so she kind
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: of bounced around, got it, Okay, Georgia. Then they moved
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: to Japan all all the things. Texas ended up in
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Salt Lake That's where we're from. But everyone has like
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: that cute accent southern bell.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, so keep going. Sorry, I didn't mean to go
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: on a team.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: No.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: No, I know as you're talking about Southern accents, like,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: I feel like I missed mind.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: The only thing I have left is y'all, and I
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: try to really drawl that whenever I'm like y'all.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: And my my grandmother always like, where did your southern accent. Go,
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: We got to get you back there for a minute.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: It's true. I haven't been back in Wow, I need
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: to get back. But anyways, Yes, Matthew and I met
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: at University of Georgia. He was played football, I cheered.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: We it was a very college relationship, love hate all
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: the way through, and then you know, at the end
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: of it turned out we wanted to give it a
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: real shot, so we did, and here we are with
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: four girls later.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: Wow, Yeah, it was.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: It was. It was a it was an interesting dynamic
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: at the beginning.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: And I've told this story and there were headlines all
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: about it, so I'm not gonna tell it again. But
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: you know what, it was everything that happened needed to
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: happen for us to get to where we are today,
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: and I truly believe that. So it was it was fun.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: Looking back, it was really fun and glad it ended
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: up the way it ended up.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: You know, that is a tip.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, you ended up being the wife of an
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: NFL player. But when you think about that time in
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: anyone's life in a relationship, it is nothing but trying
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: to figure out who you are. You're on your own life.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Journey and the whole it's it's the most simple thing.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Are we willing to evolve together?
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's a great way to put it, because honestly,
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: when I went to school, when we were both there,
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: I mean it's obvious when you're in college is the
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: first time you're without your parents.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: And I was in a very long term relationship in high.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: School, so I know, yeah, it's like six years. He
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: was great, but long time, and that's kind of what
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: I knew, like relationships and being watched by my parents.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: And then you go to college and it's like whoa, Yeah,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: you know, it's pretty totally yeah, this is fantastic. But
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: you're right, like I was trying to figure out my
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: own way. And then even before I started school, this little,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: this man, this boy walked into my life that I
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: wasn't expecting, and I wasn't I really wasn't.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Expecting to fall for him.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: But he was so adorable and so witty, very smart,
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: just smart h and could constantly make me laugh. So
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: I let my guard down a little bit and thank goodness,
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: because here we are now.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: So that makes me thrilled for you. Thank you.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: You know, it is so crazy because in this day
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: and age, I feel like, if you if you did
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: not meet your husband in college or high school where
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: they know you to your very core before all of
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: the bright and shiny objects entered, it is hard to
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: have a marriage last that long. I look at my parents,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: they were together for forty years. The reason it ended
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: was because my dad died.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: So sorry, you wanted to get out real bad.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: She's like, I don't believe in divorce, so I'm fucking
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: out of here, kidding. But I'm like, they do not
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: make marriages like that anymore. And I think because so
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: many people are not willing to evolve together.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: That's I mean, that's an incredible way to put it.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: I will say, too, like my parents have been together
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: since eighth grade and they are still together. My dad
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: hasn't found us out yet, so they're still together. But
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: it is very true. And I will say, Matthew and I,
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: marriage is hard. And at the beginning, you know, when
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: I moved up there pretty quickly to Detroit, I actually
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: finished my college up there, I didn't even finish at
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Georgia and lived with him for a while to make
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: sure that one this would work in two that I
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: could handle. Kind of being the significant other of an
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: NFL quarterback. Because with that, and I've talked about my podcast,
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: you tend to lose yourself. You're always someone's wife, okay,
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: or someone's girlfriend or someone's fiance, and you have to
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: be strong enough to kind of work through that. Now,
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: I will say my podcast helped me work through that.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: But that was, however, many twelve years in Matthew's career, Wow,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: where I felt like I kind of I lost myself
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: at the beginning, trying to I was so young. I
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: think I was nineteen when I moved up to Michigan.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Wow, that is very young.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, baby, yeah, And I was trying to be everything
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: that people were telling me to be when it came
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: to an NFL girlfriend, fiance, whatever, and then I became
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: a mom and all of a sudden, that was my title.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: So it's it was really good for me one to
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: move up there to make sure like this relationshi because
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: we were in college, right, which is fun, but when
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: you get to real life, like that's when shit, you know,
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: can get hard. And so moving up there, you know,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: we had our good times and bad times for sure,
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: and really had to work through because at one point
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: I remember telling him, you know, you have to make
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: me happy. I'm not happy, and he was like, you
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: can't physically put that solely on me, like you have
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: to find your own happiness. And I like, I want
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: to be happy with you, like you know, but I
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: can't make you happy solely myself.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: And I remember that conversation very vividly.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: It was like two years into it.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: I feel like that would be like taking a bull
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: it because it's such a fact, right, Yeah, when someone
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: says that to you, it's so hard to hear.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: But it's completely right. And again, Matthew is very wise,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: like he's just he's just honestly, it's annoying how smart
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: it is and how much shit he knows. I went
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: to nursing school, I was a nurse, and I swear
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: he knows more about help, like the inside of our body.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: When you're in that league and stuff, you just start
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: obtaining everything.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: I feel like we watched Jeopardy and it's I mean,
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: you know everything. That's Son.
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: By far the smartest, with like the plays that they
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: have to remember the cadence of defenses like that.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: You have to be smart. Yeah, I agree fits.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: It, yes, but it's annoying, so it really is. I mean,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: I I love the Wheel of Fortune. That's my game.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: And then you know Jeopardy is his. So we sound old,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: don't we.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: I was just about to say Jeopardy, you know, STD,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: I totally relate.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I have a home in Palm Springs where I'm like,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not paying for a cable, but they give you
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: that like free TV where it's just like old games
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: like that. And I was in bed the other night
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: doing a large print word search no watching Jeopardy, and
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: I was like.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: Oh my, what the fuck is.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Happeningels like I think. So, I mean, I don't know
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: that we're happy. I guess I hate going out. I
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: know it is happiness.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, we sit down, our girls watched Jeopardy
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: with him, and it's adorable because they you know, when
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: he gets it wrong, they let him have it right,
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: you know, they cheer him on. But no, I'm not
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: gonna lie. We feel now that I just say that
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: out loud, it's it's pretty old. But no, he's always
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: been really wise. But again, moving out there, we had
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: I tried to figure it out, and marriage is marriage.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Even when we didn't have kids, we went through our struggles.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: That was the infertility stuff, and I want to talk
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: about that. I mean, I didn't think that. I didn't
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: think we were going to make it through that, and
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: that was very early on in our marriage.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I have never struggled with fertility issues, but people very
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: close to me have and that is something so personal
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: and even though like you're in it with your partner,
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: and I don't know if you felt this way. I'm
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: only relaying what women have said to me. You feel
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: like your body is failing you something that is supposed
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: to happen for a woman. Why isn't it happening? What
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: is going on here where you are not? Like, my
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: body is not showing up for me right now?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Is that how you feel? Oh? My gosh.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: We actually had a charity event for a fertility charity
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Saturday last Saturday night, and I got up and spoke
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: and I said, I love that we're starting to talk
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: about it more, because when I went through it, all
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: I could feel was alone and a failure. Like I
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: just felt like what you said, what your body is
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: naturally supposed to do, it just wasn't doing. And when
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: it comes to putting stress stress on a relationship, you
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: know all of a sudden, you are trying to figure
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: out when you're ovulating. Then you're basically scheduling set. I mean,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: there is nothing worse in a marriage than having to
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: do that, because then, to be honest, I think the
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: men just feel like they're getting used right for that moment,
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: and when it doesn't work, you know, all the emotions
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: for the woman are there, and I just feel like
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: you don't want to talk about You don't want to
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: talk because everything relays back to that with your husband.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: When you start talking, you sit down, you're talking about football,
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, we're back into well, we
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: might have to have sex next week, like at this day,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: at this time, and everything just goes back to it
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: and it just starts drowning both of you. And then
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: when you actually go through the process, you know everyone's
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: doing what they need to do when it comes to you,
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: like he has to go to the clinic and give
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: his sample and writ these things, and it just it
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: surrounds you and it's everything you think and everything you
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: talk about, and so then you don't really like have
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: anything else to decide.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it just really separate. For us. It
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: was really hard because he had football.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: And I had my infortition journey and that's kind of
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: where we lied for a year and a half two
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: years wow. And so that was again that was really
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: really tough on the marriage, and we were very newly married.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: I knew I was gonna have issues going into it though, Okay,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: I was aware of.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: That, and so you know, but I think even then, Yeah,
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: you sit there and you pray for the miracle, one miracle,
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: one mirror. Is it just takes one time.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: One time? Yeah, and it just didn't happen.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: So then, at what point in time did you say
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: we're going to take the pressure some air out of
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: the tires and let's go the IVF route.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: How long had it been of you guys try?
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: It had been me tracking my ovulation because that's when
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I consider like really trying.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, about a year and a half. So it's a
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: long time to wait for a baby. It feels like
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: an eternity, Like I mean.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: Every month you're getting that negative like you just or
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: you just have your you know, sorry, brother.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: He's in a house full of womens.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so then like every month you're feeling again like
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: a failure. So a year and a half feels like
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: a very long time, and I know there's people that
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: go way longer, and there's the financial burden. And luckily
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: for Matthew and I, we didn't have to consider that part.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: And I couldn't imagine having that stress on top of
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: everything else.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Well that's the other thing is sometimes IVF is your
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: only option to having a larger chance of getting pregnant.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: But IVF, let's be honest, that is a luxury to
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: be able to afford something like that. So this fundraiser
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: that you had over the weekend, what was that for?
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: So it gives They're actually a company based out of Michigan,
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: but they wanted to have legs in California.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: So we did a gala gala, I don't know which one.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: I don't either, Okay, great, perfect, So we did one
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: of those on Saturday to raise money for people in
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: actually California to get grants to go through infertility services.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: So anything you can think of IVF, IUI surrogacy like
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: acupunchers supposedly is like this new and.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I love accupyture, so firm believer in it.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, So there you go. So it just covers like
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: a broad base of things.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: But that is so incredible that you guys did that.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: Oh thank you. This is well it was you know,
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: I am I'm not the founder of this, I'm the
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: board chair, but she, Lauren is the founder and.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: She's incredible, amazing.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: So we raised a good amount of money and hoping,
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: you know that. And it's fun to see the babies.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: We call them Chosen babies because the charity is called
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: Chosen Fertility, so we call them Chosen babies. And it's
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: pretty awesome to see these families that finally have the
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: dream of you had a kid. Yeah, so that's pretty awesome.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds amazing. Yeah.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: You know, my second again, I did not have fertility issues.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: My second baby was brought into the world conceived via
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: i U I.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Oh really she was okay.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: So I went the donor route for my second baby
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: because I was so traumatized. You know, the fertility clinic
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: that I went to, they're used to people coming in
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: either having fertility issues or it's same sex couples that
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: are getting a donor a surrogate, and so you they
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: still put me through all of the things that they
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: put a woman who's struggling with fertility, you know, all
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: the testing going in sorry Easton doing the cervix thing.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: He knows way more than he probably wants to know.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: But he is the best uncle. We have a lot
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: of co parents in the house.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Honestly, it's the best.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: It is the best.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I am very jealous of that none of
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: my family lives near me.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: No, there's times where like I'm just in the a
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: du and I'm like, I missed those peanuts, so I'll
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: just walk over and I'll just grab one and go
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: and hang out.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: A lot of chaos. But yes, I did.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I did the whole the whole bit that you know
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: people that are women that struggle with fertility. So I
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: think that is so incredible because it seems to me
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: to be a larger amount of women every single year
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: that are like, I need to talk about this and
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I can't imagine. I love that the conversation is being
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: open because, like you said, I feel like it would
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: be so isolating.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: It really is.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: And I truly love that it's become less of a
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: taboo subject because I think the statistic is like one
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: in six couples experience and fertility, so it is something
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: that surrounds us and I feel like, the more we
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: talk about it, the more it allows people to open
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: up about it, and it's not so isolating.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Right, you have someone that you can reach out to
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: and know exactly what you're going through. Did you intend
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: to have twins or was it like we're going for it,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: this is.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: A crazy thing.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Our doctor told us we'd have a better chance with two,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: which obviously there is a better chance. There's also a
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: lot of things, a lot of reasons they won't do
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: that because you're immediately the highest pregnancy if you have twins,
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: and there's more complications, and if you're really wanting a baby,
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: sometimes carrying one is way safe and way easier. So
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: we put two in due to some things that were
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: going on with me, and so we we were aware
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: that we could get twins. Now, the way we got
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: twins was not how we expected. We walked in and
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: the doctor was like, so, Matthew, like, what do you
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: what do you want to want? What do you think
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: you'll see in here? He's like, I mean, I hope
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: a baby.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: He's like, well, you have twins, which, like, again we're
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: and at this point we're just ecstatic that there's baby.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I mean now there's two totally.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: And I remember him like kind of going closer and
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: then and then it made me nervous. He was kind
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: of like trying to see and I was like, oh god,
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: and he was like, well, you know what, these actually
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: look identical, so don't look to see if the third
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: of the other baby took. And I was like, you know,
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: in my nursing state, going oh, go back to the
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: mono dye twins. It was this mean and it meant
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: that one of the eggs that had taken had split, okay,
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: and so that gave me the identicals, and then there
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: was a chance that that other egg took and that
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: would give me triplets.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Now I always say this, that was my boy. My
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: boy was like I'm out of here, Like that one
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: didn't take.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: They're gone. I don't know that. I didn't know the
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: sexes when I put them in, but but in my
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: mind I'm going, yeah, that was the boy.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I like, I like where your head's at. Yeah, yeah,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: so that feels comforting to me. It was like, this
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: seems like a lot. I'm gonna let you guys take
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: this one.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, you know. So it was we were we
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: weren't expecting anything. But we did know there was a
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: chance that we could have twins. We just didn't think
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: we'd have identical twins. That is crazy to me. It
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: was it is crazy, and it's crazy now to look
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: at them. And honestly, I'm talking to one and I'm like, Chandler,
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: you gotta do this. It's essential.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: I'm Sawyer and I'm like, nah, oh, really you every one.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I mean, they go through phases and it's I cut
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: one's hair really short for the teacher's sake and honestly
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: for I mean I say it for it's for everybody's sake.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: But they go through stages.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: And over the past like year, they were kind of
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: looking different, and now over the you know, the last
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: three months, they have turned a corner to where everyone
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: is struggling.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, to tell them apart, that is my dream that
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: would be an identical twin.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I would love that and make everyone so confused. I mean,
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: to be honest, I told them, I said, listen, if
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: one is good in math and one is good in English,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Mommy's not gonna hate if you just switch for that class.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Totally totally like, if you're not gonna math, guess what
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: you're not gonna have a career in math. So why
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: are we strug Why are we going to deal with that? You?
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you? You know what.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: I'll take that. Thanks so much.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Excellent.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: How did you come up with the names Chandler? The
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: twins are Chandler and Sweyer. So Chandler is my brother's name.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: I told you all we were very close. I love this, Yes,
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: so that is my brother's name. Sawyer Math you came
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: up with and it was the first one that I
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: liked that he came up with.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: So we did that. Do you have one that you
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: can give us that you were like that he came
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: up with it. You were like not happy?
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Ooh, you know what? God, it was so long ago.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: He liked really girly names, and I just.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: I will tell it. Well, I've told it, but I
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: wanted I thought I was gonna have a boy mom, okay,
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: oh boys, and so I was very much into the
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: gender neutral names.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Love it. I love the name, yes.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: So. And then Tyler or Hunter was our third. And
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: always loved the name Hunter for a girl.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I never love it.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: I never met like a not fun or unattractive Hunter. No,
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: it's very like, it's so good, you know what? I mean,
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: and then my last one, Tyler. She was named after
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: a cousin of mine.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: That is so cute.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: So did you have these names picked out ready to go,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: whether it's a boy or a girl.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: This is happening. Yeah, So we didn't know with Tyler.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: What she was.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, you got surprised. We got surprised. How hard was that?
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: You know find out? It was hard, But when you
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: have three running around, I mean, time was by fast,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: time goes by. And then when she don't fit that
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: doctor's appointment in anyway.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: They were and she came out and I had the
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: same staff for every single one of my c sections.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: I had to see sections for each one, but same staff,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: same nurses, same doctor, same like pre nurse post house. Yes,
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: one of my nurses came out of retirement. The post
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: Uh what's it called? I see, this is where the
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: nursing comes in. I don't remember what it's called, but
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: you were exactly. You would know whatever it is whenever
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: you have after you have your baby and you're in
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: the hospital for a few days. That nurse actually came
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: out of retirement and did to do our last baby.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Wow, which was very sweet. I mean it was it
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: was Michigan.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: You know, sports are a very big deal there, so
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: we were it was amazing, We had amazing experiences.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but it says a lot about you guys for
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: her to come out of retirement.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, even if you love something, if someone's not nice,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: you're like, I don't, well.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: I appreciate it. But she's she's she was fantastic. I
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: was so relieved when she said that she would come back.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: But I will say, Tyler, they pulled her out and
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: they're like, do you want to know? And I was like, well,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: obviously now and they're like, it's a girl. Just like
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: like not he wanted all girls?
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: What? Really?
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: He did not want a boy. That was one of
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: attention in our marriage. I was like, I want all boys,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: and he did not want one boy. So he also
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: didn't really want four kids.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: But here we are, So there's that, you know what he.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: He just knows and honestly, now that we have been
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: parenting for this long and they're in sports, and how
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: crazy parents are in sports, including myself, so I mean
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: I can't not I mean, I'm I I'm competitive. So
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: there's that.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: But a boy would have a lot of pressure to
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: live like it it's.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Like living under a name, yeah, and that you're expected.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: Of a lot. And even if he didn't want to
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: play sports, they'd still be like, wait, your stuff was,
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: kidd and you know you play the piano, do you
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: know what I mean?
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I totally get that.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: So and I you know, even before, I was like, well,
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: you don't need to worry because he's going to be
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: more athletic than you anyways, because he's half of me totally.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: And he goes and here's the pressure already. The child
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: isn't even in existence. And you're like, don't worry, he's
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: gonna be more athletic. He's like, what if he doesn't
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: want to be an athletes? He want to be an athlete?
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: You know. So there, yeah, see this and this is
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: this is me.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: And so immediately I started to see, especially now with
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: my kids knowing what I know, when it comes to girls'
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: sports and they're seven, the oldest are seven, and.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: It is is it intensely, it is so intense, It
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: is beyond intense. What do they play? They play?
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: They do gymnastics right now, they do competitive gymnastics, which
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: hm hmm, soccer, basketball, and tennis.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, they are booked and busy well, and they know.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: You split it up per season totally, like well most
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: kids don't.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: Now they like they backboard and they do year round,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: year round. That's a lot.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And so now I'm I told Matthew, I was like,
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: I feel like our kids are behind in every sport
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: because each sport we go to, these kids have been
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: just playing it, playing playing it. If we had a boy,
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I would handle that. So I
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: don't like, I just think, you know, I would want
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: to have him specialized, which I don't. I don't love
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: in kids sports Like kids should be able to figure it.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Out on their own, on their own total.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Time to see if they even like sports and what
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: sport they might like. And so it's it's a massive
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: blessing that we did not have a boy.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Massive like I am.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: I thank God every day for that because I.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: Was thinking Matthew was the one that was like somebody
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: standing and being with me.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Please he loves.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he loves being a girl.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Dad.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's like, that's that's really sweet of you
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: to say. But he you know, it is something that
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: he was meant to be too. I don't think he
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: was meant to father a boy, and I don't. I
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: definitely don't think I was meant to father a boy.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Now that father mother a boy, definitely not father.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You know.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Also, I feel like it's hard just seeing men in
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: sports when they have sons who get to that age
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: where they're about to be drafted, and even if they
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: are good, they always get that well, I don't know
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: that he would have made it if you weren't so
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: and so son. There's literally not one aspect where there's
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: not something that comes into question.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: It's like nepotism in the sports world.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: One hundred percent. It exists.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: It's alive and well, yeah, what sports do they prefer?
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Like are they are? The twins into the soccer most
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: the gymnastics. That's pretty good.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: So the twins love soccer and basketball, which is good
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: because they have a little like I can tell with
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: their uh what they're they're more their dad's side. They're
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: gonna have height, yeah, so, and they want to try volleyball,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: which I would love. But the little are the two
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: younger ones I think are more my side, and they
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: are with all I like, they love gymnastics.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: That freaks me out. My daughter loves gymnastics. You were
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: a cheerleader, so you do what were you top of
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: the pyramid?
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I won flips?
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: I was, But you know why it freaks me out.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: Everything's changed so drastically that like it scares me for gymnastics, dance,
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: cheer for like overall confidence in what they.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Look like, got it, their bodies look like.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: And with the pressure we have from social media, I
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: just fear that there's I don't know, I wouldn't be
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: strong enough. I'm still not strong enough to handle all
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: the criticism that gets thrown my way.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: But to be young and in those type.
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Of sports, you get criticism by just like showing up
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: and you're in a leezard and you look different than
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: I do know what you mean, So like.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: I tend to want to get them out of that.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: In fact, that's like my threat because they love it
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: so much. It's my threat when they're not doing so,
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, we're gonna we're done. Gymnastics is over.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Like we're done. A solid threat is part of surviving
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: as parents.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: I listen, I'm not beneath a threat, Okay, I'm really
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: or bribing, not beneath any of those two.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: You're an uncle. Yeah, you're a briber, of course. And
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: then I tell I mean, it's great. I'm jealous.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: I know you're a briber. And I tell them just
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: like I tell my mom because we all live together.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: She's like, I'm giving her this because i'm her GG.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it doesn't work when you're with her every day.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: That card can only come into play when you see them,
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: you know, once a week, once a month, because grandma
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: lives in a different state.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Not every day. It's a lot.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: That would make that would that would make me a
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: little upset. My parents, my grandparents are their grandparents. My
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: parents and Matthew's parents don't live anywhere close Dallas and Georgia,
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Dallas and Atlanta, so whenever they coming down, they are donuts.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: They were in town last weekend for this event. Saturday,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: my dad got them donuts in the morning, took them
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: for pancakes for chocolate, and pancakes for lunch, and then
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: when they got home, he was like, we's mice cream Sundays.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I was like, ah, I like this family, Oh my god,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: he goes, we want your sugar up. Didn't they crash?
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: That's not how it works anymore, not at all.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: By the way, your dad sounds like my baby dad.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, we not with ocean.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: Let's have a fruit stay it with me, fruits people,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, okay, well there you go. Yeah, you know,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: now you know who my.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Dad is, so I totally get it. By the way,
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: it's so fun that, you know what, It's great. I
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: do let him for the most part to it. But
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: I can see my husband just churning in the background,
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: like like pissed.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Off anyway as well just walk around exactly.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: And knowing that even if Matthew's like, hey, Jay, do
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: you mind not feeding them candy?
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: It's gonna happen anyways, Like it's just gonna happen.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: He's like, just one more, that's my everyone's favorite thing
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: to say to me is just one more.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it would work.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: If like she had four and we could round it
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: up to like the five. But when she's had, you know.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Fifteen cookies, just one more ain't gonna fight. We're done.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: What's your stands on social media with your kids as
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: in like posting them or as then getting one you.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: Know what both, where are you at with post and
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: then where are you at with them having social media.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: You know what, I need to do a better job of,
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: probably not posting them. I've I've kind of taken a
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: step back because this is my life, like, this is
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: this is all I do right A mom and I
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: get a football game, so that so that's kind of
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: what I post. But you know what, they they were
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: sick over the playoffs this last year and when they
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: went back to school, they're like, Mom, how did all
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: of our friends know we were sick? And I was like,
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: I'm not expecting their friends to be on social media?
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Does that? Parents?
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: Yes, I think some of them have social media and
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: oh some of the kids, yes, already they do. But
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: seven and eight, seven and eight, but I don't like that. No,
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: it's way too early. So anyways, I I just have to,
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: I truly need to take a step back and kind
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: of figure out what that looks like. I've told myself
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: after we figured everything out, that I would maybe do that.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: But with social media, with them, I'm hoping praying somehow
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: it is either not banned, but like they really do
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: put this age limit on it. I do too, because
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: it is it is gonna I don't think you can
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: stop it now. Matthey and I already talked about just
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: doing like the foot phones.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Total just like just like Mom's number, dad number, Yeah,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: where you can group text your friends or whatever.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: But but Safari and internet, so no internet and stuff
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: like that is not available. So it's like, yes, you
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: can still be in the group chats with your friends,
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: because I feel like that's what everyone tells me. The
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: downside of not giving your kid a phone is that
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: they tend to get left out of things. Now, I
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: don't mind that I have four daughters, so like you
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: get left out, you got three friends at home, I'm there. Yeah.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: But at the same time, like eventually they're gonna have
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: to like when they start driving and stuff, We're gonna
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: have to know where they are and stuff like that.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: And I'm really hoping this generation, you know how, like
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: what is it generation? What's the one underneath us? I
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: don't actually don't know how.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: I'm a millenni gen z gen z.
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: I feel like they hate trends or they ha like
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's just getting more and more where
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: they I'm hoping they'll want to be closed off more,
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: like they won't be as open this total. They yes, yeah,
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: it's like trendy to be like incognito or like no
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: one knows much about me.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: It is also what's in is not drinking, which I
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: freaking love. I hope that stays. God for when my
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: kids sad at that.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Oh but for the kids, my biggest fear is I
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: sit there and I'm watching these these kids in junior
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: high in high school, and I'm like, this is very
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: much the time that they start experimenting going to their
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: friend's house, maybe smoking a joint.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Maybe what they're saying that they don't they don't need
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: to drink.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: They're so they want to go. They're very into health,
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, let's keep that. That's great because Easton
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: and I are in the program, so there's no telling.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: If one of my girls picks up, you may have
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: earned yourself a one way to get into an AA room.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: Okay, I didn't know that both yeah, both of us. Okay,
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: And how so how long are you all sober for I've.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: Been sober for over no, not at all. I've been
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: sober for over six years.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: Wow, and I'm working on i mean seven months right now.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: Oh wow. Congratulations to both of you. Well, thank you,
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: that's really impressive.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you for saying that. Yeah, you know, I
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: just know.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: I mean, I have family members that struggle with addiction,
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: so I know how hard it can be.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: It's been great.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Actually, Like drinking, when I think about it, takes me
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: to a pretty dark place because I really started hitting
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: the bottle hard.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: Same with Easton once our dad died. Okay, so that
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: part is.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: Fine, But I think about, like, Okay, when my kids
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: get to that point in time, I have to be
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: very open with them. Right, if you're going to drink,
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: there is no version of you driving, getting in the
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: car with someone.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: Call me.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: I will ask zero questions, Yeah, not one question. Just
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: pick up the phone. I will be there.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: You don't have to say thing to me. Yeah. So
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: trying to.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Allow them to have open dialogue with you, which is
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: I think what keeps me up at night. And my
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: kids are only ocean turns for next weekend. So still babies,
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: so says only six months? Oh what real baby, the
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: real baby.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Wow real new wow wow wow.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, these are the things that keep me up.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: When do I allow my kid to have social media?
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: I don't freaking know.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: No, I'm hoping it's gone somehow.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know just like shuts down.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: I like, well, you know, you don't know with the
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: way things trend in these days and how fast things
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: are new things are made or whatever. Yeah, I just
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: feel like by the time they're old enough, it'll be
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: like you just like blink your eyes in your own
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: I don't know it so hard. No, I know it's
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: gonna be weird, but I also I agree with you. You know,
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: we talked about this, but I was the baby. I
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: had a brother and a sister, and by the time
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: my mom and dad got to me, they were just exhausted,
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: and so we had a very open dialogue. It was
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: very much like, Okay, my parents trusted me to to
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: know what's right what's wrong when it comes to like
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: if we went to a party, I would let my
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: parents know, Hey, I'm sneaking out.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I won't be drinking. I'm gonna be the d D
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: And they're like, okay, just let us know where you're going,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: and when you're back, let me know, not a sneak out.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: You know you're sneaking out. I did.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: They would be I mean out cold, and I would.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: My dad never knew. My dad never knew until literally probably.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Five years ago.
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: He was like you did what, Oh, that's that's awesome.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: So you still felt like you were doing something kind
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: of not yea.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: Was my mom was badass?
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: So but I will say like I felt like I
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: was a pretty good kid, and that is because I
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: had an open dialogue with my mom, could ask her
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: anything I wanted to and also tell her things that
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: I would feel like most parents or most kids at
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: my age during that time couldn't tell their parents right,
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: and so our house was always the house to go
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: too because they were like, Oh, your mom's cool with
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: the reason we were cool with each other's because she
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: trusted me to just make right decisions because we had
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: that open dialogue.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Did you feel like I I have open dialogue with
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: my mom.
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: She has shown me that she trusts me. One wrong move,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: she ain't gonna be so cool.
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: I didn't. I did not want to disappoint her like
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: I She gave me so much tress that I could
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: not disappoint her right.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: And that was my mindset. Whenever we went to parties
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: and I said.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: I was gonna be a d D or whenever, you know,
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: I would make sure that I stuck to that Because
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know, I just if you put that much
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: trust me, look, and as I'm young too, it means
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: a lot. And so I didn't. I just didn't want
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: and you're right, you make one mistake. She pulls those
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: reins back real quick. Oh yeah, so that was I mean,
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: didn't want to disappoint her. Also didn't want the rains
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: pulled back totally.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: It's always the parents who are so chill, because I
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: feel like if I end up being that type of parent,
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: when I've given you such a long leash, retractable as fuck, yeah,
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: and then you do something, I'm gonna feel betrayed and
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: now you're gonna witness my wrath. And that's how I
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: picture my mom. I'm like, I know my mom, she's
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: so cool. Same with my dad.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: But if they're this cool there, that means they're putting
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: their trust in me. I fuck this up. It's gonna
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: be scary out of my bad. Yeah no, I totally
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: agree that.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: I will tell you this is like in a in
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: a smaller or in a younger age.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I've done this with my four year old. I'm so tired.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not gonna lie I sucked up parenting this one.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: She is love her so much, Tyler.
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: I love you, but she is probably my worst behaved
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: child because I did not parent her, and I think
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: I got tired. And I think as you get older
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: and your parenting gets tired, you might get a little nicer,
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: and it seems nicer at the time, but she breaks
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: my trust all the time, and so then she gets
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: you know, the hammer laid down a little bit, right.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: But I also blame myself because god, I was a
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: horrible parent. I just gave her what she wanted. I
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: was like, stop her from crying. You took something and
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: challenge it's mine. I'm like, I don't care give it,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: you know, just to keep the waters.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: I mean, but now she's horrible, so that's I know,
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: she's not horrible, you know what I mean. She's not
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: my best behave child.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: That's fine, you know what, she's the baby. I feel
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: like even if you did. There's a reason why they
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: say the baby is always kind of the golden child.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: It's not because they're the golden child. It's because the
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: parents are fucking tired.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they seem easy.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: Just give it to or I don't want to hear
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: the cry. Yeah, I'm doing this for my own peace
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: of mind.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: It's exactly right.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: Like at this point, I'm not parenting for you. I'm
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: parenting for me one hundred person.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: And you know I I would like because I love
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: what you said. If something starts happening outside, like in school,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: people are left out, it's like you've got three more
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: at home. I want to create that. I want to
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: create a football team. Yeah, girl, what is that like too?
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: If it's that's really good, that's really good. Just work
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: on maybe the backfield or something. What's that mean?
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: Maybe just like the receivers in the cour rack, that
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: would be fine.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Are they tall? Yes?
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: Can you be tall?
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: Are we? Are we on the same wavelength?
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Now I'm thinking about my next baby down.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Like do you when you choose uh, sperm donors, you
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: see all their like statistics?
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: You do? Wow?
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: The only thing I opted to not see, which it
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: wasn't even an option for this donor. He didn't release
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: his adult photos to the picker, which I'm the picker,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: got it. I only saw photos of him as a
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: toddler and then like his first school picture, but everything
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: down to like his favorite color.
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: And there's the largest genetic testing panel that.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: I had to go through as well, as he had
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: to go through. They quarantined them for like two weeks
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: before they actually donate. Did you know out of all
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: of the people who decide to donate sperm, only one
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: percent are actually get the green light too?
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: Yep? Whoa, Yeah?
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: Is that because of genetic tests?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Like what they have, genetic testing, it's the they do
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: like drugs and alcohol. They make sure that like you
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: are not into that, but also family history. Yeah, if
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: your family history shows that, like you don't have the
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: best genes, it can become a kind of sticky situation
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: if someone picks a sperm donor and something goes wrong,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: you know, so they've got to be very particular.
• 46:29
  Speaker 3: I will say infertility in general, everything you go through,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: that's like the most perfect, Like I think because of
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: what you're saying, you're picking a donor or something like,
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: but it has to be perfect. It's the only medical field,
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: right it thinks they have to be perfect, right, Like,
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: even when we are going through it and they tell
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: you, you know, this embryo is stage what you know, you
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: have these different stages and I'm going I mean, I
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: feel like it's incredibly hard to get pregnant with a
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: healthy baby, But I do think your body, if you
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: do have an unhealthier embry or whatever that might say,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: your body kind of corrects it.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but they won't put that in because they know
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: they can't take the chance.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: They can't take the chance of it.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: But like saying, like, I you know, I think the
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: first round I had like nineteen eggs and then we
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: got like, I mean eleven embryos, which is a lot four.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: Where four were like considered viable four out of these.
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: And I'm going, holy shit, how do people have healthy babies?
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: Like that blows my mind.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: You wonder when you hear all of the stories how
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: there's so many fucking people on the planet and who
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: are like functioning, going out and like getting jobs inside.
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: It's like if you work in the imfertility situation or
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: in a clinic, you probably are asking the same thing,
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: like how are there so many functioning humans?
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: And no matter what scientific jargon you tell me about
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: how a baby is created, No, it is a miracle,
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: period it is. You can tell me the science behind it.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: X y M baby. No, No, I agree, miracle it is.
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: I mean I feel like God like they just it
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: all works out while in utero before but it blows
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: my mind blows. In fact, miracle Hunter, our third baby
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: came very quickly and as a surprise.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: I have always heard that that happens.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: It just like, I don't know, do you think it's
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: because the hormones are so like on ten or do
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: you think the pressure was taken off of you?
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: I think both me and I think my body like
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden knows what it like, found out
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: what it was supposed to do.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: But let me tell you what start.
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: The Twins and Kicks started that that was a wild surprise,
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: and I like, the twins couldn't even sit up and
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: I'm over here, like I didn't want to tell Matthew.
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: I was so scared because we again we are new
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: parents of twins. Season in the middle of the season.
• 48:46
  Speaker 3: Oh no, And I'm just like, and I don't remember
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: if it was a good season or bad season, but
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: you know, Detroit, we can guess. And so I I no, no,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: I mean they're great now. They're awesome now. And I'm
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: so happy for that town and that organization. They did
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: do really well. They're amazing. They have guys. I've got guys, guys.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: So anyways, yeah, I did tell him. I told him
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: on Christmas because I was like, I don't know what
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: else to tell you this, but so here's your gifts.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: He looked at me and goes, are you are you?
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Are you fucking kidding?
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: And I was like, Merry Christmas. I mean, now, she
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: was great. She's a great baby. That made us go
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: for the fourth because she was fantastic. She was so good,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: she was so easy, and I thought it was just one.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: Oh it's one, it's easy compared to the two. Oh
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: hell no, Tyler came out that bitch was hard.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: So that immediately was like, and we're done.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: Like Hunter was just a good baby, turned like.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: Immediately tubes tied. Yeahsect to me, we're good over here.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I'm still waiting on the vasectomy.
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: Oh oh, listen, this has been a five year conversation,
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: not really for three year conversation.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: What when I retired?
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: You know, he's just lazy. He's not against it. He's
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: just like, well, then I gotta take a week off
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: for working out or two weeks, I don't remember what
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: it is.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, guys go to work the same day. Babe, like, yeah, fine,
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: just a quick little snippy He'll be pumping weights by
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: the next day. Yeah. Right.
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: Meanwhile, he's like, I feel like, weren't you gonna get
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: your two side anyways?
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: I like, no, not if you get No, there's a
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: point where met my two side.
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: Say to me, also, I've been opened up three times.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: It's your turn.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I'm tapping out. I'm out this man, right, yeh man, No,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: let's just before we sign off.
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: This man. Most men, all men, all men. Huh, they
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: go out, they're being sacked. They're doing X, Y and
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: Z to just be like who tough? Right, we kind
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: of like lean in on them, like if shit gets
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: sticky in downtown La, I got my man with me.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: We give birth to babies pre mentally we are just
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: we will. If football were just a mental game, we
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: would funck shit up.
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Period. Agree, we're shoving humans out of our twats, all right.
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: He's doing all these things and you're asking just for
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: one little snip, and he's like, I just can't do it,
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: just one. You know that is I love hearing that
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: because it's just men.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: Yes it is. Yeah, but it's he's he's going to practice.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: He's got clinic. They cut through eight layers of you
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: know what.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: He's got a lot he's an old man in that
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: locker room, so he needs that man and he feels like, well,
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: I will say one thing, Yes, that's it.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: You're right, probably when he retires with you, But uh,
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I will say one thing.
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: It's pretty awesome. You watch him out there and he's
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: a different person on that football field that even I know.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: Like they show him in the huddle and I'm like, whoa,
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: this is yeah, turn super hot. I'm like, oh yeah.
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: And then he comes home after a gameer after being
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: this manly man in the locker room, he comes home
• 51:55
  Speaker 3: to these four little girls and he is the ten,
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: so tender and so sweet to them. It really is
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: incredible to watch. Like I love him as a football player,
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: but him as a girl dad is the biggest turn
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: on the wall, which is why he needs to get snipped,
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: She's like, I'm tapped out on the turn. I can't be.
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: I need more turned on than I am right now. Yes, agreed.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you one more question. What is it
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: like in your household when there is a big game?
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: What is it like for the both of you before
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: the big game? And let's just say he comes home
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: and it's a loss. What does that look like?
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, so I will tell you before a big game.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: I mean he is very good at compartmentalizing. I think
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: that has come with age. When we learned Detroit, his
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: first few years, it was very much football football. Even
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: when he was home. Kids do that too, you know,
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: they pull you out of it totally. So before a
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: big game, I mean, I tell you before the super Bowl,
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: it was the Super Bowls in town, so it made
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: it completely different. Like he was there until the night
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: before the game, and he went to stay the hotel
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: kind of like a normal game totally. Normally teams are
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: there for a week or so or two weeks before
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: the two rule, staying in hotels and whatnot. But he,
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: you know, he's the most calm, cool and collected person
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: I know. So before games, it is very normal in
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: our house. I mean, I like, we carry on as if.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: I honestly don't even really remember a time in the
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: past four years that it's been oh yeah, there's a
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: really big game that we can like we need to
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: like take the stress off of Dad or whatever. He's
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: just kind of a normal dad now. After the games,
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: big games, loss, it depends on when it is in
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: the season where their record is if they're suck.
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: We went one and four at the beginning of last season.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: That was hard, Okay. He just felt defeated and but
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: had to keep going and like lift the guys up
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: a little bit. He had been in these predicaments before,
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: again not throwing shade Detroit, but we had. He'd been there, right,
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: and so I believe he told shown he's like, we're
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: gonna we're gonna win out or you know, we're gonna
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: make playoffs, and they did.
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: But that first stretch I remember being.
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: Like, God, this sucks because it's just an overall mentality.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: He's trying to be, you know, a good positive man
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: in this house, but what is another very important thing
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: to him? Has not been going well?
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: And I will say, like, if it's a one game
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: and it's kind of like well, or if he played bad,
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: he is very I will say the girls have to
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: be around.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: I want the girls around. They make him take his
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: mind off it immediately.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: They don't care about football. They asked Doddie, will you
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: help me draw this? And he'll sit down and it
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: kind of takes it away from him. He's like, you
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: know what that is in my in it's my job.
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, that is a job,
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: and this is kind of what's important. And he's very
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: like I said, he's really really good compartmentalizing that whole thing. Yea,
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: where in the past he wasn't. He used to lock
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: himself in the bedroom when they lost. We would have
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: guests in Detroit and he would just be like.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: I'm out, I got him deal. Yeah, And I was like, Okay, well,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: I guess I'll just sit out here and I'll handle it. Yeah.
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, But his turn the corner and I will say
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: that's age and due to our children.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: But I think it's also a huge testament to how
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: you are as a wife. I think he knows that
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: you you are and I firmly believe this. When you
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: see a happy, healthy functioning home, of course it's two people,
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: but I believe that it's when a man looks at
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: the worth of his wife or his life partner, mother
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: of his children, because you really have to keep it
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: together for the household, right You're holding down the kids
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: even though you may not even know it. You're trying
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: to take pressure off of him because you know where
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: his mind needs to be during the season I think
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: it's incredible what you do. I'm so happy that you
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: have your podcast because you've got your thing, which I
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: think is very important. I just loved having you on
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: the podcast today.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: This was so fun, so easy, right, I had a
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: great time. Yeah, besides the traffic getting and I don't
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: know beside this has been that.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: I know, are you fought? Are you're in Sherman Oaks?
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, so not far but not enough.
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: I mean it's far. I mean like every La everywhere
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: is far.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: Everywhere in La, whether I want to come here or
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: to the grocery store that's a mile away, thirty minutes
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: plan on.
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: It wild, Yes it is, but you know it's totally
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: worth the hour and a half drive. I really enjoyed
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: it today.
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: Wow, I had no idea. Thank you so much. Please
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: you said so honored.
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: It's nothing.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: Thank you guys, you guys, thank you so much for
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: listening to another episode of the Give Them While a Podcast.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: We will catch you on Monday for the bonus and
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: then again Wednesday.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Hi y'all,