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Dr. Gertrude Lyons – Rewrite the Mother Code · Vox Novus with Victor Fuhrman

0:05
Speaker 1: Vox Novus, the New Voice, Vox Novus, the New Dimension,
0:14
Speaker 1: Vox Novus thought and movement leaders who will share from
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Speaker 1: their experience and offer tools to help us navigate our
0:22
Speaker 1: rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome to
0:28
Speaker 1: Vox Novus, the New Voice. What would it be like
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Speaker 1: if it was a commonly held tradition for the wise
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Speaker 1: women in our Western culture to support women through the
0:45
Speaker 1: mothering process. What if children were raised by the community
0:50
Speaker 1: and not the isolated responsibility of one or two caregivers.
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Speaker 1: What if all women were united as mothers and gave
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Speaker 1: their full support to each other's mothering choices. My guest
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Speaker 1: this week on Box Novus, Doctor Gertrude Lyons, not only
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Speaker 1: envisions this world of conscious conception, pregnancy, and motherhood, but
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Speaker 1: also a movement that fulfills the ideals of matriarchal led
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Speaker 1: mothering experience. Doctor Lyons stands at the forefront of coaching
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Speaker 1: and education in holistic women's development, parenting, self love, and
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Speaker 1: relationship fulfillment. Her diverse certifications and training enabled doctor Gertrude
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Speaker 1: to offer a tailored, integrative approach that caters to the
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Speaker 1: specific needs of individuals couples or families. She holds a
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Speaker 1: steadfast belief that we all embody the essence of Mother.
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Speaker 1: Her website is doctor Gertrude Lions dot com, and she
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Speaker 1: joins me this week to discuss her path and new book,
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Speaker 1: Rewrite the Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic
1:58
Speaker 1: approach to Please join me and welcoming to Vox Novis,
2:04
Speaker 1: doctor Gertrude Lions. Welcome Gertrude.
2:07
Speaker 2: Oh, it's such a pleasure to be here, Victor. Thank
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Speaker 2: you for having me, and.
2:10
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us. So please share
2:13
Speaker 1: with us your path before you were called to coaching.
2:17
Speaker 3: Mmm.
2:18
Speaker 2: Oh, well that's an interesting one because I was born
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Speaker 2: and raised in a small town in Michigan, Saint Clair, Michigan,
2:25
Speaker 2: a place where people were perfectly content to stay in
2:28
Speaker 2: Saint Clair, Michigan.
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Speaker 3: But somehow I wasn't.
2:32
Speaker 2: So I did the audacious thing of going to college outside,
2:35
Speaker 2: all the way to Indiana from Michigan.
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Speaker 3: And in college, you know, I really wasn't giving a
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Speaker 3: whole lot of thought.
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Speaker 2: The only thought I really had was, of course, I'm
2:44
Speaker 2: going to get a degree, and how can I make money?
2:47
Speaker 4: Right?
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Speaker 2: So I got a BBA in finance and accounting and
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Speaker 2: had this inkling toward the end like oh my gosh,
2:55
Speaker 2: I'm really enjoying these English classes or these psychology classes.
2:59
Speaker 2: But anyway, carried on and got a job out of
3:03
Speaker 2: college in litigation consulting doing economic analysis. So that all
3:08
Speaker 2: sounds very fancy, and I guess it is in some way.
3:12
Speaker 2: But what I happened was I ended up leaving the
3:16
Speaker 2: big consulting firm and working for an individual who was
3:19
Speaker 2: doing some work in this arena of litigation consulting and
3:23
Speaker 2: personal injury and wrongful death and valuing in litigation like
3:28
Speaker 2: the loss of value of life.
3:30
Speaker 3: So it was a big deal. He became a big deal.
3:33
Speaker 2: But I got to work with people, and so I
3:36
Speaker 2: had started my own on my own path of personal development,
3:42
Speaker 2: which started with therapy and personal developments, and my husband
3:45
Speaker 2: and I got engaged and then we did couples coaching.
3:49
Speaker 2: This was very This was not it's more of a
3:51
Speaker 2: norm to say those things now than it was in
3:54
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty nine and ninety, so we were pretty out
3:58
Speaker 2: there to do that. And I realized pretty soon into
4:01
Speaker 2: that for a while that like, it's really this work
4:03
Speaker 2: is having such an impact on me, and when I'm
4:08
Speaker 2: talking to clients and they're dealing with personal injury, wrongful
4:12
Speaker 2: death of someone in their family, and they had to
4:16
Speaker 2: go through some psychology tests as part of us calculating damages.
4:21
Speaker 2: That was the part that was making my heart saying
4:23
Speaker 2: I was talking to them, getting into it with them,
4:26
Speaker 2: sharing what I'm learning about dealing with loss and dealing
4:30
Speaker 2: with big challenges in our life. And so when I
4:34
Speaker 2: had my second daughter, I decided, I'm going to leave
4:37
Speaker 2: this organization. And I don't know for sure what I'm doing,
4:41
Speaker 2: but it's not going to be sitting at a computer
4:44
Speaker 2: doing economic calculations. So I decided to go back to
4:49
Speaker 2: school and get a master's degree in psychology. And then
4:53
Speaker 2: I started working for an organization part time coaching, and
4:56
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know how much you want me
4:57
Speaker 2: to go from there, but in that coach I had
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Speaker 2: a young family, and in that first master's degree, I
5:04
Speaker 2: studied how to maximize the potential in family and the
5:09
Speaker 2: potential in couples.
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Speaker 3: And that was really starting to become.
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Speaker 2: My focus because I said, well, if I'm going to
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Speaker 2: be going to school and working while raising a family,
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Speaker 2: let's have them work together. Let's have one support the other. Right,
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Speaker 2: I'm living it and then I'm studying it, and how
5:26
Speaker 2: how can I do the best job I can? And
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Speaker 2: I also really enjoyed supporting adults as well, so that
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Speaker 2: really that took me into a number of years. So
5:38
Speaker 2: I think your original question was what got you into coaching?
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Speaker 2: So that takes me there, so I'll stop there.
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Speaker 1: It's interesting that you had mentioned the joy that you
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Speaker 1: were experiencing while working with those clients. In essence, you
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Speaker 1: were mothering them, weren't you.
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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I would look at it like you caught
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Speaker 2: on Victor, you know, the whole game here.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, I was right.
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Speaker 2: So and I got a lot of joy and fulfillment
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Speaker 2: and meaning from that. And what I wasn't aware of,
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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have named it this either at the time.
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Speaker 2: Now that you're you know, naming what I was doing
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Speaker 2: for them, I think I don't know if I would
6:17
Speaker 2: have been able to recognize that or do that if
6:20
Speaker 2: I hadn't started mothering myself in my own therapy growth
6:26
Speaker 2: coaching that I was embarking on, because those things, you know,
6:31
Speaker 2: were pretty shut down for me.
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Speaker 3: I was pretty shut down.
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Speaker 2: I was shut down emotionally, was living a pretty superficial
6:37
Speaker 2: life before I started doing some of that work, so
6:40
Speaker 2: to then extend that mothering to others because I wanted
6:44
Speaker 2: them to have it, because it was such a big
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Speaker 2: new awakening for me.
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Speaker 1: Absolutely, What were the seeds that were planted in your
6:52
Speaker 1: life that led to examining the mother code?
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Speaker 3: That is such a great question.
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Speaker 2: So I think what I would say first off was
7:03
Speaker 2: in those early years of you know, growth and development,
7:07
Speaker 2: I realized and I realized this when in some of
7:09
Speaker 2: the very early on sessions with our therapist and couple's coach, was, oh,
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Speaker 2: there are some things to look at in the relationship
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Speaker 2: with my own mother, right. So I think the seeds
7:22
Speaker 2: really got planted when I started on an exploration really
7:27
Speaker 2: looking at Wow, there's there's some things here that I
7:33
Speaker 2: knew were off, not okay, needed, And I'll just name
7:37
Speaker 2: a couple of them. I was, you know that they
7:39
Speaker 2: got labels once, you know, once you go on that path.
7:43
Speaker 2: I was enmeshed with my mother. My mother was domineering
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Speaker 2: and overly critical, and so this this first act of
7:52
Speaker 2: separating from her something that in the normal course of mothering,
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Speaker 2: if we have our head on straight and and you know,
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Speaker 2: we can at least know that some of that job
8:03
Speaker 2: when we're raising children is a constant letting go. They're
8:06
Speaker 2: not there for my benefit. I'm there because I decided,
8:10
Speaker 2: and I chose to bring children into the world and
8:13
Speaker 2: make them independent human beings. And I didn't even realize
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Speaker 2: that was how it was supposed to go.
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Speaker 3: I just thought I was so.
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Speaker 2: Embroiled in my mother's life and her and mine that
8:27
Speaker 2: you don't know until you hear other things like, oh,
8:29
Speaker 2: gosh it, it feels a lot better to separate and
8:33
Speaker 2: start claiming my own life and my own So I
8:36
Speaker 2: would say the seeds really got planted when I saw that,
8:42
Speaker 2: you know, name the dysfunction in our family.
8:44
Speaker 3: I believe me.
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Speaker 2: I believe all families have some level of no and
8:49
Speaker 2: even in my own with all the wisdom and knowledge
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Speaker 2: I gained over the years, you know, we certainly had
8:53
Speaker 2: our share of dysfunction. And nobody does this job perfectly.
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Speaker 2: But I realized, oh, this is There.
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Speaker 3: Are wounds from that, and the healing of them is
9:03
Speaker 3: so freeing.
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Speaker 2: It's painful, and it's all the things, and it's a
9:08
Speaker 2: courageous journey, I think, to explore. But then there's so
9:11
Speaker 2: much freedom, and then wow, I get to start like
9:14
Speaker 2: claiming my own life. And then you realize like, oh,
9:17
Speaker 2: when you go to start to have your own family,
9:20
Speaker 2: there's even more of this unfinished business. There's even more
9:23
Speaker 2: potential for things to get stirred up and triggered. And
9:26
Speaker 2: that's okay. And that was the big news, right it's
9:29
Speaker 2: it's okay, like that can be. And some of what
9:32
Speaker 2: I propose in my books, it's some of the treasure
9:35
Speaker 2: that we can find in if we decide to raise
9:38
Speaker 2: children and mother children is you're gonna have You're gonna
9:42
Speaker 2: have old wounds, you're gonna have things pricked all over
9:44
Speaker 2: the place, and not to think anything's wrong with that,
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Speaker 2: but that you can then mother yourself around what those
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Speaker 2: are so that you can then be fully present, fully
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Speaker 2: there with your children, because they're not the ca they're
10:00
Speaker 2: just doing their thing. It just happens to, you know,
10:03
Speaker 2: be hitting you in a certain place. So I think
10:06
Speaker 2: the seeds got planted there. Then as I was, as
10:10
Speaker 2: we were navigating starting our own family and then having
10:13
Speaker 2: a young family, I realized, wow, these really this would
10:17
Speaker 2: be such a different experience if I hadn't done some
10:21
Speaker 2: of that early work and it's still challenging, you know,
10:26
Speaker 2: even knowing some of that, it's still part of the deal.
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Speaker 2: So I think that's a big part of where the
10:32
Speaker 2: seeds were planted.
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Speaker 1: And to that end, what are some of the top
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Speaker 1: myths surrounding motherhood that you dispelled in your book?
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Speaker 2: They're myriad of them, but ones I really wanted to
10:43
Speaker 2: make sure and make prominent. The first one that I
10:47
Speaker 2: think comes to mind, and I know a lot of
10:49
Speaker 2: women struggle with, is that to be a good mother
10:54
Speaker 2: you put the needs of your children and then after
10:58
Speaker 2: that a partner or spouse, and then if you have
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Speaker 2: a career, if you're working outside the home, then that
11:05
Speaker 2: but you're either never on the list or your way
11:08
Speaker 2: at the bottom of the list. So and that's how
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Speaker 2: it's supposed to go, and you shouldn't expect it any different,
11:16
Speaker 2: and if that's what makes you a good mother. So
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Speaker 2: I really wanted to dispel that myth and have women
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Speaker 2: understand that you taking care of yourself, you mothering yourself
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Speaker 2: is the best thing that can happen to your family.
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Speaker 2: Even what I said before, It allows you to be
11:35
Speaker 2: more there, more present, but also provides opportunities like growing
11:41
Speaker 2: up with your family. I think sometimes as parents, we
11:45
Speaker 2: think we're expected. And this is another one of the
11:47
Speaker 2: codes that I want to dispel, is that you decide
11:52
Speaker 2: to have a child, you have this child, and you're
11:54
Speaker 2: just immediately supposed to know exactly what to do and
11:57
Speaker 2: how to do it and how.
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Speaker 3: To do it right. Our culture feeds that.
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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, you know, social media and other ways that that
12:06
Speaker 2: is inundated in us, Like it.
12:07
Speaker 3: Looks like everybody knows what they're supposed to do.
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Speaker 2: But we've started living in such a more isolated and
12:14
Speaker 2: we don't really have the community that we that we
12:17
Speaker 2: had for so long, forever until the industrial age, really
12:21
Speaker 2: where you had people around you, and you had a
12:23
Speaker 2: community and you had a tribe, you know, if we
12:26
Speaker 2: go back wayfar. So there's that one. There's that it's
12:32
Speaker 2: you should never show your emotions around your children. And
12:36
Speaker 2: that's not one I think a lot of people think
12:38
Speaker 2: about so much. So I wanted to name it, and
12:41
Speaker 2: especially what we would label negative emotions like fear or
12:45
Speaker 2: sadness and maybe even anger. And I want to dispel
12:49
Speaker 2: that myth because them seeing healthy emotions displayed and responsible
12:55
Speaker 2: emotions as opposed to I'm not talking anything remotely, like
13:00
Speaker 2: or towards your child, or raging at your child. This
13:02
Speaker 2: is like you might be angry about something and it's
13:05
Speaker 2: okay to show that and have them see you work
13:08
Speaker 2: through emotions. It gives them them permission like their emotions
13:12
Speaker 2: are okay. They're not something that you can hide. And
13:17
Speaker 2: that does take some work to learn how to have
13:19
Speaker 2: them responsibly, but that's very, very worthwhile work. So that's
13:23
Speaker 2: a few of them. I could go on if you'd
13:25
Speaker 2: like me to, Victor.
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Speaker 1: Actually, this leads to another question. I was born in
13:29
Speaker 1: the boomer generation. I was born in nineteen fifty three,
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Speaker 1: and a lot of what the image of the mother
13:34
Speaker 1: was back then was shaped by television shows like Father
13:37
Speaker 1: Knows Best or Leave It to Beaver or things of
13:40
Speaker 1: that nature. How has the definition been shaped of motherhood
13:44
Speaker 1: by popular media and what are some of the erarors
13:46
Speaker 1: that popular media has done.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm so glad you brought it back to that,
13:52
Speaker 2: to that time and that generation, Victor, because it was
13:56
Speaker 2: really in the nineteen fifties that there was a big
14:01
Speaker 2: shift and the term parenting actually didn't exist before then.
14:09
Speaker 2: Parenting took a big turn where it became you know
14:14
Speaker 2: of course solely the woman's job. And there was something
14:19
Speaker 2: that a woman named as she kind of look back
14:21
Speaker 2: and study it called intensive mothering. And intensive mothering entailed
14:25
Speaker 2: that everything nothing mattered more than you raising your child.
14:30
Speaker 2: And media would only show women cooking and cleaning and
14:34
Speaker 2: being so excited to get the latest new appliance that
14:38
Speaker 2: was supposed to make her.
14:39
Speaker 3: Her life easier, and the leave it to Beaver.
14:43
Speaker 2: Where everything everyone's always happy, so to speak, and there
14:49
Speaker 2: was nothing being shown for quite some time where a
14:51
Speaker 2: woman might work outside the home.
14:53
Speaker 3: Or higher help or because she was supposed to do
14:57
Speaker 3: it all. She was supposed to do it all.
14:58
Speaker 2: She was supposed to get all of her joy and
15:00
Speaker 2: satisfaction from it, and that's what was reflected on media
15:04
Speaker 2: in those shows and the commercials. Gosh, I just watched
15:10
Speaker 2: The Marvelous Missus Maisel, and that had some of in it,
15:14
Speaker 2: like what do you mean you want to do anything
15:16
Speaker 2: outside of be a mother? Even women who went to college, like, well,
15:20
Speaker 2: you went to college, that's was nice, but don't expect
15:23
Speaker 2: to do as soon as you graduate, like get married
15:25
Speaker 2: and have kids, and that was there was something wrong
15:28
Speaker 2: with you. If you didn't do that, then we it
15:31
Speaker 2: morphed a little bit, like then things started happening, you
15:34
Speaker 2: know in cultures where oh, now women have more choice,
15:37
Speaker 2: they have choice to have children or not with birth
15:41
Speaker 2: control and things that came you know, into being in
15:44
Speaker 2: the seventies. But it was an interesting thing in the
15:47
Speaker 2: seventies because it both like opened the doors for more
15:50
Speaker 2: possibilities and choices for women. But at the same time
15:54
Speaker 2: this dictate that this is a Now what started happening
15:57
Speaker 2: in that generation and beyond is your job now is
16:02
Speaker 2: to make the best children you can and form them
16:06
Speaker 2: and get them. It's similar to the fifties but a
16:10
Speaker 2: little different now where now we want to get them
16:14
Speaker 2: kind of mold them like a carpenter. There's an author, researcher,
16:17
Speaker 2: Alison doctor, Alison Gopnik. She wrote a book called The
16:20
Speaker 2: Carpenter and the Gardener, and she talks about some of
16:23
Speaker 2: these phases and how in that phase, you know, we
16:26
Speaker 2: really started the parenting model of the carpenter came into being,
16:31
Speaker 2: where it's like you mold that child, you chisel them
16:35
Speaker 2: into the image that you think they're supposed to be.
16:38
Speaker 2: And what then is also reflective reflected positively in the
16:42
Speaker 2: world kind of under the guise of oh, we're doing
16:45
Speaker 2: we're giving our children the best, so you're making them
16:48
Speaker 2: into getting into the best schools, having a career where
16:52
Speaker 2: you're going to make a lot of money. You know,
16:54
Speaker 2: this was what was getting wired into me, like those
16:57
Speaker 2: were the most important things and that's what your job
16:59
Speaker 2: was to do that, but it was leaving you and
17:02
Speaker 2: the relationship.
17:03
Speaker 3: Out of the picture.
17:04
Speaker 2: She proposed a gardener concept, And this is what I
17:08
Speaker 2: think we're wrestling with right now if I skip ahead
17:11
Speaker 2: to now, is there's still a lot of that where
17:15
Speaker 2: women are making more choices to have children, to not
17:18
Speaker 2: have children, to work outside the home, be a stay
17:22
Speaker 2: at home mom, but there's still a lot of judgment
17:25
Speaker 2: around them. But women are more and more and it's
17:28
Speaker 2: what I hope I'm hoping my book helps support, is
17:32
Speaker 2: that if that's the choice that gives you the most
17:34
Speaker 2: pleasure and satisfaction, that's going to be the best thing
17:37
Speaker 2: for your family. The sacrifice and making sacrifices and sacrificing
17:43
Speaker 2: the things that you used to have meaning for until
17:47
Speaker 2: you had kids. But you can do that while you're
17:50
Speaker 2: raising them. And I think the hardest part of the
17:52
Speaker 2: current culture is there's still this air of like, but
17:56
Speaker 2: it should be easy and gosh, you know, you look
17:59
Speaker 2: on social media in it everybody's house is in good shape,
18:02
Speaker 2: and how are they doing it all? I should be
18:04
Speaker 2: able to do it all, so to speak, and you
18:07
Speaker 2: know some of the super mom like running around doing everything,
18:11
Speaker 2: like well, but do I want to do it all?
18:13
Speaker 2: And are those things that I want to do? And
18:15
Speaker 2: I'm hoping that women can really start asking those questions.
18:20
Speaker 1: And in rewrite the mother code. What are some of
18:22
Speaker 1: the ways that mothering can be brought into the world
18:26
Speaker 1: beyond raising children?
18:28
Speaker 3: Yeah? Thank you.
18:29
Speaker 2: When I set out to write this book, I kept
18:32
Speaker 2: being torn. It's like, well, I really want this book
18:35
Speaker 2: to because people are always asking you what market do
18:38
Speaker 2: you want to reach? You know, who is your audience.
18:40
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, it's all people, but it's all women
18:43
Speaker 2: for sure, and they're like, noah, it's too broad. So
18:47
Speaker 2: while I wrote a lot from my experience, and there
18:51
Speaker 2: is a significant part that is about making choices around conception, birth, pregnancy,
18:57
Speaker 2: and those specific I make bigger point and make it
19:01
Speaker 2: at the beginning and I really work to carry it through,
19:04
Speaker 2: which is the fact that all women mother, we all conceive, create,
19:09
Speaker 2: and give birth to. Yes, children, but also ideas and
19:14
Speaker 2: dreams and careers, relationships are pets. Anywhere we're putting our
19:19
Speaker 2: mother energy. We're mothering, but that the most important person
19:23
Speaker 2: we need to mother is ourselves. So I tile that
19:28
Speaker 2: together because for a couple of reasons, Victor, if you
19:31
Speaker 2: don't mind, I go on, is I want women to
19:34
Speaker 2: understand because one of the codes is your purpose on
19:38
Speaker 2: earth is to have children, and anything else you do
19:43
Speaker 2: is it's okay, But you know, the only real meaning
19:46
Speaker 2: is having a child. And I want, really, really want
19:52
Speaker 2: to underline and have women take in the fact that
19:55
Speaker 2: you're mothering all the time. You're already doing it, and
19:58
Speaker 2: if you want to add the mothering the experience of
20:01
Speaker 2: mothering children, after you've explored what that means to you
20:05
Speaker 2: and kind of the why, the bigger why of that,
20:08
Speaker 2: not just because well it's what.
20:10
Speaker 3: I thought, I always want to do.
20:12
Speaker 2: That you're mothering all over the place. So I give
20:15
Speaker 2: some specific examples in the book The Mothering Careers, for example,
20:19
Speaker 2: that oh, I had women in some of my workshops
20:23
Speaker 2: who had built beautiful businesses and or reached very high
20:28
Speaker 2: up in corporate ladders and still felt like weah, well,
20:32
Speaker 2: but none of that matters until I get.
20:34
Speaker 3: Married and have a baby. It's still there.
20:37
Speaker 2: And I helped them explore, like, look what you've mothered.
20:40
Speaker 2: You know, you've mothered a business into being you mother
20:43
Speaker 2: people to their homes beautiful. As one of them was
20:47
Speaker 2: an interior designer. You have a staff that you're mothering
20:52
Speaker 2: in the corporate world like you're mothering the anybody that
20:57
Speaker 2: is in your purview or that you or your client.
21:00
Speaker 2: It's that way we mother are aging parents, my mom,
21:06
Speaker 2: we were saying before we got on Victors ninety five,
21:09
Speaker 2: and I've really started to see where and as we've
21:14
Speaker 2: worked through our relationship. I know I talked at the beginning,
21:16
Speaker 2: but we've pretty much have a one to eighty degree
21:20
Speaker 2: relationship now where we really can be adult mother daughter
21:24
Speaker 2: together and I get to see I get to mother her,
21:30
Speaker 2: and I don't think I could have done that had
21:32
Speaker 2: I not done some of that earlier work. In a
21:34
Speaker 2: way that I'm really grateful. I get to care for her,
21:37
Speaker 2: I get to give her love that I think she
21:41
Speaker 2: needs and deserves. And so there's so many beautiful ways
21:44
Speaker 2: I've just named a few.
21:45
Speaker 1: To that end. We had talked about the fact that
21:48
Speaker 1: the last few years of my mother's life, I became mothering,
21:52
Speaker 1: gave mothering to her, and a poem came through me
21:56
Speaker 1: called when the child becomes the parent. Can I share
21:58
Speaker 1: that with you?
21:59
Speaker 5: Oh?
21:59
Speaker 3: I would hear it, Victor.
22:01
Speaker 1: She gave me life and delivered me into this wondrous world.
22:06
Speaker 1: She took my hand and guided me as the mysteries unfurled.
22:11
Speaker 1: She taught me to be loving and all the time
22:13
Speaker 1: she smiled. Now the child becomes the parent, and the
22:17
Speaker 1: parent the child. She encouraged me to study and learn
22:21
Speaker 1: all that I could. She taught me to be confident
22:25
Speaker 1: while doing what was good. She urged me to have
22:28
Speaker 1: faith when life's challenges beguiled. Now the child becomes the parent,
22:33
Speaker 1: and the parent the child. She taught me to be compassionate,
22:37
Speaker 1: a most important teaching. She taught me loving kindness. Her
22:42
Speaker 1: gift was future reaching, as now she needs these back
22:46
Speaker 1: from me as lost memories are filed for the child
22:50
Speaker 1: has become the parent, and the parent the child.
22:56
Speaker 3: Victor. That is so beautiful.
23:00
Speaker 2: Thank you, Oh my gosh, thank you for sharing that.
23:03
Speaker 2: And it does it really tells the story of what
23:07
Speaker 2: the cycle right This cycle of our mother and giving receiving,
23:12
Speaker 2: and it really is circular, not linear. And I didn't
23:15
Speaker 2: mention that because, yeah, mothering is not gendered, you know
23:19
Speaker 2: when we're talking about it in this way.
23:22
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, it was really beautiful.
23:25
Speaker 1: Thank you. My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her book Rewrite
23:29
Speaker 1: the Mother Code From Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach
23:33
Speaker 1: to motherhood. Gertrude, please share with our listeners where they
23:36
Speaker 1: can get your book and find out more about you
23:38
Speaker 1: and your work.
23:39
Speaker 3: Yeah.
23:39
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So you can find everything book related and everything
23:44
Speaker 2: about me on my website which is www dot doctor
23:50
Speaker 2: Gertrudelions dot com and that's d R and then my
23:54
Speaker 2: first name.
23:54
Speaker 3: Gertrude g. E. R.
23:56
Speaker 2: T r Ud Lions l yos dot com. So all
24:02
Speaker 2: the info about the book and what I do is there.
24:04
Speaker 2: But to say a couple of things. You can also
24:06
Speaker 2: go straight to where you buy books, Amazon, Barnes and
24:10
Speaker 2: Noble Bookshop, where you can, you know, pick amongst a
24:13
Speaker 2: bunch of bookstores. It's it's out there and everywhere, which
24:16
Speaker 2: is wonderful. And then you can work with me in coaching.
24:21
Speaker 3: I do.
24:22
Speaker 2: I lead retreats in Mexico and Ireland. I do a
24:27
Speaker 2: lot of online I do speaking engagements, so I'm really
24:31
Speaker 2: finding every which way I can is to support people.
24:35
Speaker 3: I also have a podcast, sorry.
24:36
Speaker 2: Just remember two more ways you can you can see
24:39
Speaker 2: me which is on Instagram at doctor gertrue Lyons. And
24:43
Speaker 2: also I have a podcast called Rewrite the Mother Code.
24:47
Speaker 1: Wonderful and We'll be back with more after these words
24:50
Speaker 1: on the Own Times Radio network.
24:53
Speaker 6: The Cutting Edge of Conscious Radio ome Times Radio i
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25:25
Speaker 4: Hello, I'm Sandy sedgeby a host of Home Times Magazine's
25:28
Speaker 4: flagship radio show What is going On? My passion is
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26:19
Speaker 1: Back on Vox Novus, my guest this week, doctor Gertrude
26:22
Speaker 1: lyons her brand new book Rewrite the Mother Code From
26:27
Speaker 1: Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude, there's
26:34
Speaker 1: an ancient word in parts of Africa, Ubuntu, which is
26:38
Speaker 1: defined as I am what I am because of who
26:42
Speaker 1: we all are. When a child is born and presented
26:46
Speaker 1: to the village, the question is raised, whose child is this,
26:50
Speaker 1: and the entire village responds, my child. As a part
26:55
Speaker 1: of your doctoral research, you explored mother and traditions and
26:58
Speaker 1: rituals around the world. What are some of your favorites.
27:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's a new favorite Victor. A lot of
27:06
Speaker 2: what I like that is so beautiful, and it just
27:09
Speaker 2: it also made me sad because that's so much of
27:11
Speaker 2: what we don't have in our culture now, is that
27:14
Speaker 2: that weakness aspect. But I was also looking a lot
27:19
Speaker 2: at you know, because I feel like in our current
27:24
Speaker 2: in our US culture specifically, mothers aren't supported and there's
27:32
Speaker 2: a belief in our in our culture, you know, kind
27:35
Speaker 2: of in our zeitgeist to bounce right back, get back
27:39
Speaker 2: to work right away. There's things that women will hear
27:42
Speaker 2: all the time, like get your body back, and you
27:45
Speaker 2: know how these short little windows that you have for
27:49
Speaker 2: maternity leave. And so I was looking at cultures that
27:55
Speaker 2: that don't do it that way, and we looked at
27:58
Speaker 2: and saw how this isn't working our culture, this is
28:01
Speaker 2: not working well.
28:02
Speaker 3: And in so many of them.
28:05
Speaker 2: I saw it in Japan, I saw it in Mexico
28:08
Speaker 2: and South American cultures where it was pretty consistent in
28:14
Speaker 2: places where it was anywhere from thirty to forty was
28:18
Speaker 2: often the number. And I think there's a reason for
28:22
Speaker 2: that that it's forty days where the mother is just
28:27
Speaker 2: completely tended to, she's given the space to and the
28:32
Speaker 2: support from the community to have that time with her baby. Right,
28:38
Speaker 2: She's not expected to do anything. It's the focus is
28:43
Speaker 2: on being. I mean some will go so far as
28:46
Speaker 2: like and I didn't really discover if this was metaphoric
28:51
Speaker 2: or literal, like her feet doesn't don't touch the ground
28:54
Speaker 2: for forty days.
28:57
Speaker 3: And it's such an honoring of that time.
29:01
Speaker 2: And I think for a number of reasons, one just
29:03
Speaker 2: physically and everything that a woman and the baby have
29:10
Speaker 2: just went through physically to have that space and time
29:15
Speaker 2: where you can really just tune in, heal and focus.
29:19
Speaker 2: But I also this is in my experience personally victor
29:24
Speaker 2: and belief, and I've seen it a little bit in
29:27
Speaker 2: some of the cultures where the veil is very thin,
29:31
Speaker 2: so to speak. At that time, you've just this baby
29:35
Speaker 2: has come from the everywhere into the now. I'm quoting
29:39
Speaker 2: George MacDonald, And I think when we rush out of
29:43
Speaker 2: that space and think we're just supposed to get back
29:45
Speaker 2: to how it was or pull ourselves back together, we're
29:50
Speaker 2: missing an opportunity to be in you know, in whatever
29:54
Speaker 2: this means to a specific person, whether it's spiritual, universal,
30:00
Speaker 2: the cosmos, there's an opening rawness even if we take
30:06
Speaker 2: it then to just the vulnerability of that time that
30:11
Speaker 2: we're too quick to get away from. And I think
30:13
Speaker 2: there's an experience to be had there and a messages
30:18
Speaker 2: like you were saying that happen at death, like you
30:22
Speaker 2: were sharing with me, you know, when your mom passed,
30:26
Speaker 2: and some things that seem to come to you at
30:29
Speaker 2: that time, like, I think those are there and available,
30:34
Speaker 2: and other cultures were aware of that, so they gave
30:36
Speaker 2: women time and space for that.
30:39
Speaker 3: And then some of them are very practical, like in
30:41
Speaker 3: the Netherlands.
30:43
Speaker 2: In some of those countries, they it's mandated, you know,
30:47
Speaker 2: by the government that you get anywhere from six months
30:50
Speaker 2: to a year off from work.
30:52
Speaker 3: They're given welcome boxes that have all the essentials that's
30:57
Speaker 3: provided by the government.
30:59
Speaker 2: To me, it goes back to the quote you just said, this,
31:02
Speaker 2: this baby that was just born is our responsibility, not
31:06
Speaker 2: just yours. So that gives an example of a few
31:09
Speaker 2: of them.
31:10
Speaker 1: And what about the role of the midwife for the duel?
31:13
Speaker 1: Is that coming back?
31:15
Speaker 2: I sure hope so, Victor, Yes, and no, it's a
31:20
Speaker 2: it's a it continues to be a fight and a struggle.
31:23
Speaker 2: But this is where I like social media and where
31:26
Speaker 2: it's positive, is it because of that young women are
31:31
Speaker 2: seeing other possibilities. They're seeing that, oh, you can you
31:36
Speaker 2: have choice in the kind of birth that you want. Yes,
31:41
Speaker 2: there's some wonderful and good things about a hospital birth,
31:45
Speaker 2: but to know and to discover what suits you maybe more.
31:51
Speaker 2: And you know, I discovered in writing in somewhat in
31:55
Speaker 2: my dissertation, but this came out more like writing the
31:59
Speaker 2: book and kind of living with this material is I
32:03
Speaker 2: didn't realize. I knew midwives started becoming less and less
32:08
Speaker 2: and it was the government was making it kind of
32:11
Speaker 2: more and more difficult for them to operate, But I
32:14
Speaker 2: didn't realize how active of a campaign it was at
32:17
Speaker 2: one point. It started in the eighteen hundreds and carried
32:22
Speaker 2: into the nineteen hundreds. Where literal active can see the evidence,
32:27
Speaker 2: you can see it all marketing campaigns to dispel the midwives,
32:32
Speaker 2: to push them out. They It was a pr campaign
32:36
Speaker 2: identifying them as dirty foreign witches. Literally like these These
32:41
Speaker 2: were in publication campaigns for marketing like don't have your
32:47
Speaker 2: baby with these dirty foreign witches and cast them in
32:51
Speaker 2: the not that this is new to women in cultures
32:56
Speaker 2: and arenas this has been going on for a while,
32:58
Speaker 2: but I didn't realize how that this was happening at
33:01
Speaker 2: that level so recently, you know, because a lot of
33:04
Speaker 2: the baby birthings were happening from immigrants, well even before that,
33:10
Speaker 2: from slaves doing the birthing, and actually quite beautifully. They
33:16
Speaker 2: would send you know, everybody would send their birthing women
33:19
Speaker 2: to these women because they did it so beautifully. But
33:22
Speaker 2: once modern medicine kind of started getting a foothold, they
33:26
Speaker 2: decided to take it over and everywhere from marketing to
33:33
Speaker 2: saying that safer, you're better, it's it was more upscale
33:37
Speaker 2: to go to a hospital, so they they tried to
33:41
Speaker 2: the midwives tried to get themselves like licensed, get ways
33:46
Speaker 2: that they could be accredited, and that was a huge fight. So,
33:51
Speaker 2: just to be perfectly honest, Victor, the medical paradigm kind
33:55
Speaker 2: of has squashed it, and it has still it has
34:00
Speaker 2: a voice, but it's still a pretty quiet voice. But
34:04
Speaker 2: I do feel like it's starting to get heard more
34:06
Speaker 2: and more. I do think it's starting to shift.
34:09
Speaker 1: One of my personal lessons born of health challenges in
34:13
Speaker 1: my fifties was learning to afford myself the same care
34:17
Speaker 1: that I would offer others. How do we learn self mothering?
34:22
Speaker 3: Oh? I love how you phraise that for yourself.
34:25
Speaker 2: That is that is so beautiful because it is It
34:28
Speaker 2: is a and I'm going to call it a relearning, Victor,
34:32
Speaker 2: kind of a reawakening, because I don't think it's always
34:37
Speaker 2: been this way where it's so hard for a woman
34:39
Speaker 2: to or people to give themselves permission to mother themselves.
34:44
Speaker 2: And I haven't actually said this until I just now
34:48
Speaker 2: thought of it mothering with a big M and a
34:50
Speaker 2: little M, because the little M to me is it's
34:53
Speaker 2: even hard for women to maintenance. You know, the maintenance
34:57
Speaker 2: things are the little M like when they have newborns,
35:00
Speaker 2: getting a shower, getting fed, getting just some of your
35:03
Speaker 2: basic maintenance done to the big M of advocating yourself
35:08
Speaker 2: in healthcare situations, using your voice and understanding that you
35:15
Speaker 2: have a voice even though it might not seem like it.
35:18
Speaker 2: Those all fall under the realm of self mothering. And
35:21
Speaker 2: I don't know details about everything you went through, Victor
35:24
Speaker 2: in your health challenge, but really big part of self
35:30
Speaker 2: mothering is acclimating to first your inner voice. You know,
35:35
Speaker 2: what is it, what feels right? Doesn't feel right? About
35:39
Speaker 2: the care I'm or the advice I'm getting from the
35:43
Speaker 2: outside right, learning to measure and discern and research for
35:49
Speaker 2: yourself and not assume that just because I'll say this Promisela,
35:53
Speaker 2: someone has dr next to their name. You know, a
35:55
Speaker 2: doctor and this is their profession that they know everything.
35:59
Speaker 2: I'm hoping I'm encouraging women to discern for themselves and
36:04
Speaker 2: I want to open possibilities. But it's this discernment and
36:08
Speaker 2: awareness that how you feel and what's going on inside you,
36:12
Speaker 2: and that might be a skill you need to develop
36:15
Speaker 2: and foster for yourself to really have access to it.
36:20
Speaker 1: In your book Rewrite the Mother Code, you share the
36:23
Speaker 1: Voice Voice Framework as a pathway to rewriting our mother codes.
36:29
Speaker 1: What does that acronym voice stand for?
36:32
Speaker 2: At some point, Victor, when we have time, I'll share
36:35
Speaker 2: like the process of coming to that, because I knew
36:37
Speaker 2: I wanted to say these things. There were certain things
36:40
Speaker 2: that I wanted to make sure that we got a
36:42
Speaker 2: hold of as we embark on rewriting the mother Code
36:45
Speaker 2: and it kind of formed itself into voice and voice
36:52
Speaker 2: because I loved it, because yes, we need a voice,
36:54
Speaker 2: but what does that mean? And so in the book,
36:57
Speaker 2: I ascribe the V to mean vision first and foremost,
37:02
Speaker 2: like have a vision for yourself as a mother that
37:06
Speaker 2: when we have a vision like that can become our
37:08
Speaker 2: rudder when we're faced with a lot of decisions and choices.
37:12
Speaker 2: So when I help women articulate what that is or
37:15
Speaker 2: people to articulate a vision for themselves. And then the
37:19
Speaker 2: I of the O is ownership, own your experience and
37:25
Speaker 2: that it's take responsibility for your satisfaction, for your clarity,
37:31
Speaker 2: for you know, the kind of experience that you want,
37:36
Speaker 2: and that can be everything. From we're recording this and
37:38
Speaker 2: Mother's Day is around the corner, I'm always encouraging women
37:41
Speaker 2: own Mother's Day for yourself, like what do you how
37:44
Speaker 2: do you want to be mothered on that day? And
37:48
Speaker 2: if you want to be surprised and have them create
37:50
Speaker 2: some for you, own that as your choice. Eyes for intuition, Really,
37:56
Speaker 2: how do we, as we've been talking about earlier, tune
37:59
Speaker 2: in and honor that we have an intuitive sense. Our
38:03
Speaker 2: body is giving us messages and telling us, giving us
38:07
Speaker 2: so much data that we've our culture has made it
38:12
Speaker 2: very easy to tune out. So get back in touch
38:15
Speaker 2: with this intuitive sense that you have. C is for culture.
38:21
Speaker 2: What is the culture you have around you and that
38:24
Speaker 2: you want to create. I kind of ascribe to that
38:27
Speaker 2: a culture of community because right now motherhood and mothering
38:31
Speaker 2: and our current culture is one of isolation. And how
38:35
Speaker 2: can we expand that to bring in community? And then
38:38
Speaker 2: E is engagement all of these things that I said
38:41
Speaker 2: before this, it's we have to They can't just be
38:44
Speaker 2: good ideas.
38:44
Speaker 3: We have to engage with them.
38:45
Speaker 2: We actually have to take steps toward making these things
38:50
Speaker 2: real and possible in our lives.
38:53
Speaker 1: In your book, you offer a class it's called mother
38:56
Speaker 1: Code one oh one. Four steps to Crafting the Mother Code.
38:59
Speaker 1: Please share that with us.
39:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, So the steps go well, First, I ask
39:07
Speaker 2: women to make an agreement and make agreements as you
39:11
Speaker 2: embark on writing your own mother code, to be honest,
39:16
Speaker 2: to be open, to be willing to explore the full
39:18
Speaker 2: territory of your upbringing and sometimes there's a lot of
39:25
Speaker 2: taboos around that to say things or to even start
39:29
Speaker 2: thinking things that maybe you didn't like about it, and
39:32
Speaker 2: to do that without blame and to take responsibility.
39:35
Speaker 3: So make that agreement and.
39:37
Speaker 2: Then start exploring what you what you did and didn't
39:42
Speaker 2: like about because we're wired the whole mother code too.
39:46
Speaker 3: Is.
39:46
Speaker 2: You know, we're wired by our families, we're wired by
39:49
Speaker 2: our cultures for our beliefs and how we operate. So
39:53
Speaker 2: just as an initial step to start exploring what that
39:56
Speaker 2: is is.
39:58
Speaker 3: To uncover what make two lists?
40:01
Speaker 2: You know, what did I like about how I was mothered,
40:04
Speaker 2: the mothering I saw around me and in my culture?
40:06
Speaker 2: What didn't I like? There may be ways I felt unseen.
40:09
Speaker 2: There was some misalignments, some dysfunction, and just name what
40:13
Speaker 2: some of those are. Emotions might come up. This might
40:16
Speaker 2: stir things up, but you can also keep it very
40:18
Speaker 2: cerebral if you like.
40:20
Speaker 3: So you have that list.
40:21
Speaker 2: Now translate all those likes and dislikes into values, principles, desires. Right,
40:29
Speaker 2: So I may not have liked I didn't like it
40:32
Speaker 2: that my mom didn't take me to and from school
40:35
Speaker 2: or to my activities. But the value in that, or
40:39
Speaker 2: what I actually desired was connection. I wanted more connection
40:45
Speaker 2: with her or to have so it wasn't so much
40:48
Speaker 2: about the like. So when I have a kid, then
40:50
Speaker 2: I'm going to make sure I take them to school
40:53
Speaker 2: like that. It really because you may take them to
40:55
Speaker 2: school and be on your phone the whole time, right,
40:57
Speaker 2: it doesn't.
40:58
Speaker 3: But you're really on values. So you do that with
41:02
Speaker 3: the list.
41:03
Speaker 2: You look at each one, assign values and as I said,
41:08
Speaker 2: and then out of that you sort through them, pick
41:11
Speaker 2: like three to six that most resonate with you, like, yes,
41:15
Speaker 2: like those those are the things. Those are what I
41:18
Speaker 2: want to put my stake in the ground about, and
41:20
Speaker 2: what I want to be about and what I think.
41:23
Speaker 2: Maybe I've been living these, maybe I'd like to more.
41:27
Speaker 2: But I can then craft a statement that make sure
41:31
Speaker 2: and include those values or principles or desires sample and
41:35
Speaker 2: start it with I am a woman or I am
41:39
Speaker 2: a person who and then dot dot dot, So it
41:42
Speaker 2: could be I am a woman who values connection like
41:47
Speaker 2: I just said in that example, that honors and fosters creativity,
41:53
Speaker 2: that allows for and invites emotional expression, that learns and
42:01
Speaker 2: grows and has a has a and lives to my potential.
42:06
Speaker 2: So once when we have things like that, then you know,
42:10
Speaker 2: weave those into a statement. It can be short, it
42:13
Speaker 2: can be wordy, just so it has those values and
42:16
Speaker 2: qualities in it. And now you have this, This is
42:19
Speaker 2: what you can look to to see and I don't
42:22
Speaker 2: even want to use the word necessarily measure, but you
42:25
Speaker 2: have that there as a guiding light, a north star,
42:28
Speaker 2: so to speak, a way to look at like, oh
42:32
Speaker 2: how am I doing with those? And when I need
42:34
Speaker 2: to make a decision, am I following my intuition? Because
42:38
Speaker 2: that's in my Mother Code statement, right, I'm I'm continuing
42:42
Speaker 2: to explore and learn and grow. So those those are
42:45
Speaker 2: the four steps that then lead to you know, and
42:48
Speaker 2: I have dos and don'ts in there too, like make
42:50
Speaker 2: them positive, you don't we can't do don'ts.
42:54
Speaker 3: So I advise.
42:56
Speaker 2: People to not say I'm going to not be right, Well,
43:01
Speaker 2: what am I going to be? I'm going to be
43:02
Speaker 2: open minded. I'm going to be curious, all right, so
43:06
Speaker 2: you know, being more positive and leaving words out of
43:10
Speaker 2: a statement that say going to try. You want to
43:14
Speaker 2: like really own it and have it be something that
43:19
Speaker 2: isn't vague, It isn't well I might do this, or
43:22
Speaker 2: I want to and leave out some of that language
43:25
Speaker 2: to really have it feel solid positive affirmations.
43:31
Speaker 1: My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her new book, Rewrite the
43:34
Speaker 1: Mother Code. We'll be back with more after these words
43:37
Speaker 1: on the Old Times Radio Network.
43:39
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46:25
Speaker 1: Back on Box Novus, my guest this week, doctor Gertrude
46:28
Speaker 1: lyons her book Rewrite the Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust,
46:34
Speaker 1: a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude, you share that motherhood
46:39
Speaker 1: is a portal. Please explain.
46:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know everything that we've been talking about
46:46
Speaker 2: and leading up to. Once a woman has her mother
46:51
Speaker 2: code statement, how do I live it?
46:55
Speaker 9: Right?
46:55
Speaker 2: How do I live into it? And I think if
46:59
Speaker 2: we've been on the jarney this far, we can start
47:01
Speaker 2: looking at things and exploring things like, ooh, motherhood is
47:05
Speaker 2: a portal?
47:07
Speaker 3: What does that mean? Right?
47:09
Speaker 2: And this is where some of the cosmic motherhood that
47:11
Speaker 2: I put right in the title comes because I think
47:14
Speaker 2: there's things that we think about or we've been trained
47:19
Speaker 2: to think about or hold in mothering, in motherhood as
47:24
Speaker 2: things that maybe we want to avoid or we don't
47:27
Speaker 2: we've gotten misaligned. So, for example, in motherhood, there's a
47:31
Speaker 2: lot of pain, right there's birth is painful. Our body
47:36
Speaker 2: goes through something that elicits physical pain, and we've been
47:41
Speaker 2: trained and taught to believe that like, well, the best
47:43
Speaker 2: thing to do with that pain is to shut it down.
47:45
Speaker 2: And so it's something that ultimately then ends up disempowering us,
47:52
Speaker 2: which so many of these codes and beliefs do. And
47:55
Speaker 2: we've learned over time to feel like no matter what,
48:00
Speaker 2: pain is bad, you know, just put it plain and simple,
48:03
Speaker 2: like pain is bad. But if we're starting to look
48:05
Speaker 2: at motherhood as a portal and mothering is a portal,
48:08
Speaker 2: and this is something I name in the book as
48:10
Speaker 2: a cosmic code, is that pain is a portal because
48:16
Speaker 2: our pain when it's something that is in connected with creation.
48:22
Speaker 2: And I'm going to make the distinction as opposed to
48:25
Speaker 2: you know, an absessed tooth, there are different kinds of pain,
48:31
Speaker 2: and I'm just going to name that and say that distinction.
48:33
Speaker 2: We won't go you know into detail when something is
48:36
Speaker 2: wrong with us, and pain is signaling us to take
48:39
Speaker 2: care of it. The pregnancy, the birth, well even getting pregnant. Sex,
48:46
Speaker 2: it's it's pleasure and pain coinciding.
48:49
Speaker 3: With each other. It's messy.
48:51
Speaker 2: It's the same with motherhood and then the same with
48:54
Speaker 2: you know, pregnancy is uncomfortable. We're stretching, our organs are
48:59
Speaker 2: moving to make room for this creation. And if we
49:04
Speaker 2: can start shifting our thinking even just a little bit
49:08
Speaker 2: toward that, we can then imagine and we don't even
49:12
Speaker 2: have to imagine it because it's real, because plenty of
49:15
Speaker 2: women have had this experience where once we let go
49:19
Speaker 2: of some of those beliefs that you know, narrow our
49:22
Speaker 2: experience when it comes to the birth, that that pain,
49:28
Speaker 2: if we open ourselves up to it, it is giving
49:30
Speaker 2: us all the data we need for the phases of
49:35
Speaker 2: the delivery, of the labor, of the experience, because the pain,
49:40
Speaker 2: we can tune into our body, and that pain gives
49:42
Speaker 2: us information. That experience isn't just painful, it's pleasurable too.
49:48
Speaker 2: It's pain and pleasure combined.
49:51
Speaker 9: You know.
49:52
Speaker 2: I've found lots of studies and experiences that women have
49:57
Speaker 2: had that would say they were orgasmic that there was
50:04
Speaker 2: as intense as the pain was, was as intense as
50:06
Speaker 2: the pleasure was. But if we're shutting down the pain,
50:09
Speaker 2: we're going to shut down that portal to potential pleasure.
50:14
Speaker 2: But also then you know, a portal into divine transcended
50:20
Speaker 2: spaces that can be possible. I know, for me, I
50:27
Speaker 2: kind of wanted to keep having babies just to you know,
50:29
Speaker 2: experience these different experiences, and I specifically chose a home birth.
50:35
Speaker 2: I chose midwives because I wanted the full conscious experience
50:40
Speaker 2: and that's what was right for me.
50:43
Speaker 3: And believe me, there were times I'm like, I understand why.
50:46
Speaker 2: You know, there's just times you don't feel like you
50:50
Speaker 2: can do it. And I want women to understand that
50:55
Speaker 2: we're way more powerful than we think. So it's you know,
50:58
Speaker 2: this motherhood is a portal into seeing ourselves as these amazing,
51:03
Speaker 2: powerful beings and that sometimes during there and I know
51:08
Speaker 2: in my first birth of my daughter, I went through
51:14
Speaker 2: a lot, right, and it was all the things, and
51:16
Speaker 2: then when she was born, my first thought was I
51:20
Speaker 2: am a goddess. And you know, it wasn't like, oh
51:24
Speaker 2: my gosh, that was terrible or awful. It was that's
51:28
Speaker 2: the first thing that came through, And I think that's
51:30
Speaker 2: pretty significant. And I don't think if I hadn't been
51:33
Speaker 2: open to knowing that pain was part of the experience,
51:36
Speaker 2: but the experience was a portal to who knows, into
51:40
Speaker 2: the unknown.
51:41
Speaker 3: But I was. I was open to.
51:43
Speaker 2: That experience and that ride, so I can play out
51:46
Speaker 2: a lot of different ways through motherhood. It's I think
51:48
Speaker 2: it's a portal into knowing ourselves more, into our own transformation,
51:55
Speaker 2: into our own discovery, into a portal into awe and
51:59
Speaker 2: awesome and being able to see that and then know
52:04
Speaker 2: that we're that's the experience and that if I can
52:08
Speaker 2: do that and get that kind of experience from the birth, oh,
52:11
Speaker 2: it's maybe more likely than throughout my motherhood to know
52:15
Speaker 2: that that's available and possible, instead of like, oh, I
52:18
Speaker 2: can't do it, it's too hard, but that we can
52:21
Speaker 2: do it.
52:23
Speaker 1: Each chapter of Rewrite the Mother Code offers thoroughly tailored reflections, meditations,
52:29
Speaker 1: and rituals to help women get in touch with their
52:32
Speaker 1: innate mother wisdom and strength. Is there one you can
52:35
Speaker 1: share with us?
52:37
Speaker 3: Oh, well, thank you for that invitation.
52:39
Speaker 2: I would love to share one of them and there's one. Well,
52:44
Speaker 2: I like them all. They're all you know, they're all
52:45
Speaker 2: my children, and they're all favorites. But there's one called
52:49
Speaker 2: star ritual.
52:50
Speaker 3: Is it okay? If I read that one?
52:51
Speaker 1: Please do okay?
52:53
Speaker 3: Great?
52:54
Speaker 4: Well?
52:54
Speaker 2: And as I read this, I mean if you're in
52:56
Speaker 2: a place that you actually can kind of tune into
52:58
Speaker 2: it and drop it everything and be with it.
53:01
Speaker 3: I invite you.
53:01
Speaker 2: Otherwise you just listen as you are so star ritual.
53:06
Speaker 2: Just as there are an infinite number of stars in
53:09
Speaker 2: the sky, every person's experience of mothering is unique and
53:14
Speaker 2: perfect for them. Does one star look across the vastness
53:20
Speaker 2: and seek to be like another? I cannot imagine this
53:24
Speaker 2: to be true. Under the night sky or in your imagination,
53:31
Speaker 2: seek a star that draws your attention. Marvel at its
53:37
Speaker 2: distant light, imagining all the nights it has watched over.
53:44
Speaker 2: Hold a wish or intention in your heart, something for yourself,
53:50
Speaker 2: your child, or your future. With a gentle whisper, Send
53:57
Speaker 2: your wish to that star, leaving it will carry your
54:01
Speaker 2: hopes into the vastness of the universe. As you gaze
54:07
Speaker 2: at the stars, feel a deep connection to the infinite,
54:12
Speaker 2: knowing you are part of something greater. Conclude with a
54:18
Speaker 2: quiet affirmation. As the stars shine brightly, so does my
54:25
Speaker 2: love and hope for the future. And let this connection
54:30
Speaker 2: bring you awe and comfort.
54:37
Speaker 1: Beautiful, thank you so much for sharing that.
54:40
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you for the invitation.
54:42
Speaker 1: My guest doctor Gertrude lyons her new book, Rewrite the
54:46
Speaker 1: Mother Code from Sacrifice to Stardust, a cosmic approach to motherhood. Gertrude,
54:52
Speaker 1: one more time, please share with our listeners where they
54:54
Speaker 1: can get your book and find out more about you
54:56
Speaker 1: and your amazing work.
54:57
Speaker 2: For sure, well, you can hop up on Amazon and
55:01
Speaker 2: or your whoever your favorite bookseller is online and grab
55:04
Speaker 2: it now. You can go to my website www dot
55:10
Speaker 2: doctor Gertrude Lions dot com and the doctor is d
55:14
Speaker 2: R Gertrude g E R t r U d E
55:19
Speaker 2: Lions l y O n s dot com. And I
55:24
Speaker 2: will say, if you pre order the book and you're
55:28
Speaker 2: getting it before it comes out on the thirteenth, and
55:31
Speaker 2: then I'm going to I'm you know, I'll be sharing
55:34
Speaker 2: this as well if even after the book is out.
55:39
Speaker 3: But I did put up there as preorder bonuses the
55:43
Speaker 3: reflection that I just shared I have some of them
55:46
Speaker 3: up online and if you just share, there's a way
55:49
Speaker 3: that you'll see in my website that if you share
55:51
Speaker 3: you bought the book, we will send you those meditations
55:55
Speaker 3: that have been beautifully put to music and some visuals.
56:00
Speaker 1: Wonderful RICTR, thank you so much for joining us and
56:03
Speaker 1: sharing this a very very important message, especially in the
56:06
Speaker 1: world as it is today.
56:08
Speaker 3: You're so welcome, Victor, and thank you so much for
56:11
Speaker 3: having me.
56:11
Speaker 1: On and thank you for joining us on Vox Novus.
56:15
Speaker 1: I'm Victor the Voice Ferman. Have a wonderful week.