Latest / The Speaker Skills Podcast / The Eye Contact Effect: How to Bond With Any Audience | S01 E02

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The Eye Contact Effect: How to Bond With Any Audience | S01 E02 · The Speaker Skills Podcast

• 0:04
  Voiceover: Welcome to the Speaker Skills Podcast.
• 0:07
  Voiceover: Your host, Betty Eli, is a pioneer in her field, a presentations and executive voice coach, founder of Speaker Skills, and certified virtual presenter with over 30 years of experience helping professionals speak with clarity, confidence, and real impact.
• 0:21
  Voiceover: Every episode, Betty brings you the conversations, the tools, and the insights you need to own your voice.
• 0:28
  Voiceover: Here's your host, Betty Eli
• 0:31
  Bette Elly: Welcome to another episode of the Speaker Skills Podcast.
• 0:38
  Bette Elly: Today, we are going to learn about eye contact.
• 0:43
  Bette Elly: Your eye contact with an audience creates a bond between the speaker and the listener.
• 0:49
  Bette Elly: When you look at your audience, they are more likely to not only focus on you, but to listen to your message.
• 0:56
  Bette Elly: Authority and confidence communicate trust and conviction.
• 1:02
  Bette Elly: Here are three simple eye contact methods for a speaker to use on an audience that works very effectively.
• 1:10
  Bette Elly: The first one is called the horizontal.
• 1:13
  Bette Elly: You move your eyes continually for three seconds at a time from the right side to the center, back to the left, and then onto the right.
• 1:23
  Bette Elly: Repeat this pattern during your entire presentation.
• 1:27
  Bette Elly: The next method is called the WM method.
• 1:32
  Bette Elly: This works perfectly for a very large audience.
• 1:36
  Bette Elly: Imagine there is a large W that goes over your audience.
• 1:41
  Bette Elly: Look three seconds at a time at the points of an imaginary W, then reverse the W into an M, and repeat the pattern continually every three seconds.
• 1:54
  Bette Elly: The third is called the alphabet.
• 1:58
  Bette Elly: Move your eyes three seconds at a time randomly around the room, making eye contact every three seconds with a different audience member.
• 2:08
  Bette Elly: You can combine two or three of these methods throughout your speech.
• 2:12
  Bette Elly: All of these methods were researched and scientifically proved by me.
• 2:19
  Bette Elly: Okay, so what we're gonna focus on next is my case studies.
• 2:26
  Bette Elly: Client number one was a successful businessman.
• 2:30
  Bette Elly: He owned a thriving printing company, but had a severe fear of public speaking.
• 2:36
  Bette Elly: He had a staff of over 200 employees.
• 2:40
  Bette Elly: He avoided completely giving speeches to his employees.
• 2:45
  Bette Elly: He could meet with his employees one-on-one, but when it was required for him to address his entire office, he would develop heart palpitations and start with a panic attack.
• 2:57
  Bette Elly: He came to me because his beloved daughter was getting married, and she asked him if he would please make a speech at the wedding In a moment of excitement, he agreed to make a speech.
• 3:10
  Bette Elly: Upon further reflection of what he had just agreed to, he realized that he needed some additional professional support and help.
• 3:18
  Bette Elly: On my initial meeting with him, he was a lovely man, originally from England.
• 3:24
  Bette Elly: We began a journey of public speaking coaching and training.
• 3:28
  Bette Elly: During the assessment of his weaknesses and strengths in public speaking, it was discovered that he had stopped speaking in public in front of large groups since he was four years old.
• 3:40
  Bette Elly: Upon further investigation, I asked him to remember when his first fear of public speaking began.
• 3:46
  Bette Elly: How old was he?
• 3:47
  Bette Elly: What were the circumstances around the presentation?
• 3:51
  Bette Elly: He shared with me that he remembered standing in a dark, gloomy auditorium with hundreds of other students in his boarding school.
• 3:59
  Bette Elly: The teacher of the choir was a tall, angry-looking man who carried a big stick.
• 4:05
  Bette Elly: All the students were required to sing two lines of their favorite Christmas song.
• 4:10
  Bette Elly: He recalled feeling terrified that the wrath from this music instructor was going to smack him on his hands or head with his big stick.
• 4:20
  Bette Elly: Instead, he bent down to listen to the sounds that my client was able to project.
• 4:26
  Bette Elly: He told him, "Stop immediately.
• 4:30
  Bette Elly: You are completely tone deaf and must never sing or speak again in public." Once my client shared his story, he felt a sense of relief.
• 4:40
  Bette Elly: He had kept that bottled up inside of him for over fifty years The training was completely successful, and he was able to speak magnificently at his daughter's wedding and reach his goal.
• 4:55
  Bette Elly: Client number two was an enthusiastic politician.
• 5:00
  Bette Elly: Her lifetime goal was to have a job in politics.
• 5:05
  Bette Elly: She did not have a fear of public speaking, but lacked self-confidence.
• 5:10
  Bette Elly: She had low self-esteem and self-worth.
• 5:13
  Bette Elly: She came to me for ten months, and we worked together on every aspect of public speaking.
• 5:19
  Bette Elly: The night before the election, I told her she was ready to win the election.
• 5:24
  Bette Elly: As a final boost of self-confidence, I asked her to take 28 and a half by 11-inch sheets of paper.
• 5:32
  Bette Elly: On each sheet in black ink, print one different affirmation of success and achievement she has achieved in winning the election.
• 5:42
  Bette Elly: Take Scotch tape and place it securely on the walls and ceiling of her bedroom.
• 5:49
  Bette Elly: Before she went to sleep, her job was to read each sheet aloud twice.
• 5:54
  Bette Elly: Part of her routine warm-up in the morning was to reread the sheets aloud twice.
• 6:00
  Bette Elly: I asked her to stand up, make a fist, raise the fist over her head, and yell, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She won the election and was in office for over ten years Client number three suffered from anxiety and depression because of an abusive relationship.
• 6:26
  Bette Elly: She believed she was worthless and anything positive in her life was just by accident.
• 6:32
  Bette Elly: Her self-esteem had hit rock bottom many times, and she felt hopeless and helpless.
• 6:39
  Bette Elly: When I first met her, I found her talent as a future professional speaker surprisingly astonishing.
• 6:46
  Bette Elly: She had enormous compassion and empathy.
• 6:50
  Bette Elly: She needed to have her self-confidence boosted.
• 6:54
  Bette Elly: I collaborated with her for six months to restore her self-worth through achievement and skills.
• 7:01
  Bette Elly: Today, I'm happy to report she is a professional speaker with the National Speakers Association, sharing her message around the world of how to turn defeat into victory.
• 7:14
  Bette Elly: There are tips and strategies for dealing with eye contact.
• 7:19
  Bette Elly: The first thing is you should speak on a topic you know a lot about.
• 7:24
  Bette Elly: Consider yourself an expert.
• 7:27
  Bette Elly: Next, direct energy 100% towards success.
• 7:33
  Bette Elly: And number three, over prepare.
• 7:36
  Bette Elly: Generate notes and practice.
• 7:39
  Bette Elly: Acknowledge your nervousness if you have any, which I'm sure you will.
• 7:44
  Bette Elly: Focus your concentration on the talk itself and not your delivery.
• 7:50
  Bette Elly: And thirdly, relax.
• 7:53
  Bette Elly: Try these tips and strategies out next time you are doing a presentation, and remember that there are other people who experience all different aspects of public speaking, fear and nervousness and anxiety.
• 8:11
  Bette Elly: It's very common.
• 8:14
  Bette Elly: Here are three case studies of some of my clients that I think will sound familiar to you.
• 8:22
  Bette Elly: So here we go.
• 8:24
  Bette Elly: S- Client number one.
• 8:28
  Bette Elly: Public speaking is a journey.
• 8:31
  Bette Elly: I believe in the self-fulfilling prophecy.
• 8:34
  Bette Elly: We can achieve our goals and our dreams in public speaking with perseverance, self-confidence, and determination.
• 8:44
  Bette Elly: Where there is a will, there is a way.
• 8:47
  Bette Elly: Until next time, enjoy the journey.
• 8:50
  Voiceover: You've been listening to the Speaker Skills Podcast with Betty Elli.
• 8:54
  Voiceover: If you enjoyed today's conversation, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and leave a review.
• 8:59
  Voiceover: It helps more people find the show.
• 9:01
  Voiceover: Until next time, keep speaking up