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Bee Stings of The Heart with Ruth Wilkey · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is Guy McPherson.
0:04
Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
0:07
Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
0:11
Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
0:15
Speaker 1: So five, four, three, two, and one. Our folks, welcome
0:19
Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Very excited to have as my
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Speaker 1: guest today, Ruth Wilkie. Ruth, welcome.
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Speaker 2: Hi, thank you. Thank you for this opportunity, Guy.
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Speaker 1: You are welcome. Ruth is the author of Sociable Bunny,
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Speaker 1: a children's book and character-based brand that focuses on helping
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Speaker 1: kids develop emotional health, friendship skills, kindness, trust, and positive
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Speaker 1: character traits through stories, activities, songs, and animated-style bunny characters.
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Speaker 1: Ruth says the idea emerged during a healing journey after
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Speaker 1: depression and unresolved childhood trauma while attending a writing school
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Speaker 1: in Hawaii. She describes the sociable bunny as an expression
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Speaker 1: of bringing light and love to the hearts of children.
1:00
Speaker 1: My God, don't we need that in today's culture and
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Speaker 1: world and everything going on? Ruth, great to have you here.
1:08
Speaker 1: Before we get going, share with the listeners where you're
1:11
Speaker 1: from originally and where you are currently.
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Speaker 2: I'm originally from northern Michigan, a little town, a resort
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Speaker 2: town called Petoskey. It was called the Gem of the
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Speaker 2: North by our governor, Petoskey. It's a really beautiful little
1:25
Speaker 2: town on a bay called Little Traverse Bay in Lake Michigan.
1:30
Speaker 2: And I now live near Palm Springs, California in the winter.
1:34
Speaker 2: So right now I am out in the desert and
1:38
Speaker 2: it's about 105 degrees right now here. Nice.
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Speaker 1: All right. Let's dive in. How did all this start
1:46
Speaker 1: for you?
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Speaker 2: Well, as you said in my introduction, it started with
1:52
Speaker 2: me kind of hitting bottom. I had a lot of, well,
1:58
Speaker 2: I didn't realize the depth of a trauma that I
2:02
Speaker 2: had experienced when I was somewhere between seven and ten.
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Speaker 2: And it involved something with my dad and my brother
2:12
Speaker 2: and my cat ended up being killed in front of
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Speaker 2: my eyes. And I did not know how to process
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Speaker 2: this and that I just kind of shut down and
2:25
Speaker 2: that whole thing got locked inside of me. And I
2:29
Speaker 2: felt like I couldn't trust myself with love because my
2:34
Speaker 2: brother had said, Ruth, I need you to call your cat.
2:37
Speaker 2: And I called my cat and my dad was around
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Speaker 2: the corner and he shot it in front of me
2:43
Speaker 2: as it came running to me. So it had been
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Speaker 2: causing problems. that I didn't know how to deal with.
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Speaker 2: And he was a farmer and he just said, okay,
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Speaker 2: it's time to get rid of the cat. But as
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Speaker 2: a young child, this was my pet.
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Speaker 1: How old were you?
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Speaker 2: Somewhere between seven and 10. And so I did not
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Speaker 2: realize until much later when I went through my healing
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Speaker 2: journey that As a child, when these things get trapped
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Speaker 2: in our hearts and we don't know how to process them,
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Speaker 2: we can make a blanket, like a bitter root judgment.
3:25
Speaker 2: And I decided, okay, this involved my brother and my dad.
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Speaker 2: So therefore the male species cannot be trusted. I followed
3:33
Speaker 2: it with an unholy vow. Therefore I will never trust
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Speaker 2: a man. So every time I was in a relationship
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Speaker 2: and it looked like it might be heading toward commitment,
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Speaker 2: I would freak and sabotage, and that would be the
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Speaker 2: end of it. I would do something, you know, that
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Speaker 2: would make him run away. And I always felt like
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Speaker 2: I was the victim, you know, and, oh, these guys,
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Speaker 2: you know, they just can't be trusted. But really, I
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Speaker 2: was living out this unprocessed trauma in my heart.
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Speaker 1: Let me interject here, if I may. So my guess
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Speaker 1: is you didn't recognize... this when you were growing up?
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Speaker 1: I mean, you didn't realize how this was impacting your relationships,
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Speaker 1: you know, when you were younger.
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Speaker 2: Totally.
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Speaker 1: This became known at a later date. Right. Excuse me.
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Speaker 1: When did you realize, be able to look back and say, oh,
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Speaker 1: this is what's been going on.
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Speaker 2: 40 years later, I was like 30, 40. I was
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Speaker 2: 48 and I had been sabotaging every relationship or just
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Speaker 2: afraid to get close to someone you know not knowing
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Speaker 2: how to build a relationship because I couldn't really trust
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Speaker 2: so I got to the point where after the last
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Speaker 2: breakup I was like okay so I'm a Christian so
5:00
Speaker 2: I was like God please just take me home I
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Speaker 2: can't do this anymore you know um either that or
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Speaker 2: we have to somehow just start over again and really
5:11
Speaker 2: I just wanted to die the last time uh I
5:15
Speaker 2: remember I was in the bathtub thinking I could just
5:17
Speaker 2: slide under and end it all. And I would never
5:21
Speaker 2: have to go through this again. And that's when I realized, okay,
5:26
Speaker 2: this is serious. I'm in trouble here. And I happened
5:33
Speaker 2: to let it slip to somebody in the family who said,
5:37
Speaker 2: you have got to go to a doctor and get
5:39
Speaker 2: on antidepressants. And the doctor said, I can put you
5:44
Speaker 2: on this, but I don't think you should be on
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Speaker 2: this for life. I think this is something you can
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Speaker 2: figure out how to resolve. And so I just started
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Speaker 2: praying that God would somehow show me what that, what
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Speaker 2: does that mean? You know, I've been going through this
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Speaker 2: for life. I'm always having anxiety. I'm always on the
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Speaker 2: verge of depression. Um, This is the first time it
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Speaker 2: had gotten that serious, though, you know, that I just
6:16
Speaker 2: didn't want to deal with it anymore. And always felt insecure.
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Speaker 2: So as I started praying about it, a girlfriend said, Ruth,
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Speaker 2: I'm going to Hawaii to this author training school. I
6:32
Speaker 2: know that Bodhi Taney is your favorite living author, and
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Speaker 2: she's going to be teaching the workshop for three months.
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Speaker 1: Wow.
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Speaker 2: And I'd like you to go with me. Well, at
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Speaker 2: the time, I was a full-time piano teacher just going
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Speaker 2: into the fall quarter. My students had paid for the
6:52
Speaker 2: whole quarter. You know, we're on track. I'm like, this
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Speaker 2: is impossible. And I have a home and I have
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Speaker 2: animals and a business. And she said, well, let's pray
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Speaker 2: for a miracle. Well, within two weeks... I had found
7:07
Speaker 2: out teachers to replace all my students. There was a
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Speaker 2: missionary coming back from Africa whose kids really wanted to
7:13
Speaker 2: experience dogs and they wanted to house sit, dog sit
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Speaker 2: for me. And friends at church and in the family said,
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Speaker 2: we'll pay for your school for three months. You know,
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Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, boom, everything's taken care of.
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Speaker 2: I'm on my way to Hawaii. And it was... It
7:36
Speaker 2: was a Christian university called University of the Nations. And
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Speaker 2: so actually, I was there for nine months. No, six months.
7:43
Speaker 2: The first three months is called the Discipleship Training School.
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Speaker 2: And in that, we were learning to hear the voice
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Speaker 2: of God. And one of the exercises was right on
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Speaker 2: the top of your paper. God, what do you think
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Speaker 2: of me? And what are your plans for my life?
8:03
Speaker 2: And so don't edit. Just write what comes into your heart. Well,
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Speaker 2: Jesus started talking to me about hot air ballooning and
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Speaker 2: how he's the pilot that checks for the dangers and
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Speaker 2: the direction we're going and all of this. And I'm like,
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Speaker 2: I love Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. And I
8:27
Speaker 2: love that the lion Aslan. And he said, I'm Aslan and.
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Speaker 2: you're like Lucy, the one who gets to ride on
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Speaker 2: my back and watch the wonders unfold and watch me
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Speaker 2: set the captives free and those who are hurting and
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Speaker 2: bring them back to life, you know? And I'm like, wow.
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Speaker 2: So as my friends, I shared this with them and
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Speaker 2: they said, you're going to, you're not going to write
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Speaker 2: your father's story, which I thought I was going to write.
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Speaker 2: You're a children's book writer. And I said, no, I'm not.
9:02
Speaker 2: And yeah, you're a children's book writer and you're going
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Speaker 2: to write your own story. And I like, I'm not
9:07
Speaker 2: writing my story. I don't even want to be here
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Speaker 2: or living anymore. You know, I don't have a good
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Speaker 2: story to write. So the first day we were supposed
9:16
Speaker 2: to start writing our books, my roommate brought me breakfast
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Speaker 2: in bed and said, good morning, sociable bunny. And this
9:24
Speaker 2: whole series just flashed in front of my eyes. I thought, okay,
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Speaker 2: I'm going to real quick write this down. Well, it
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Speaker 2: turned into the project I wrote in the next three months.
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Speaker 1: Wow.
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Speaker 2: I got the award for co-creating with God because I
9:37
Speaker 2: did something totally I never knew I was going to happen.
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Speaker 2: And it was the story of me getting this, you know,
9:45
Speaker 2: bee stings in my heart by being bullied in school
9:51
Speaker 2: and things that would happen in my bunny burrow. And
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Speaker 2: the lion took me on an adventure and taught me
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Speaker 2: about my identity and my purpose and how to understand
10:03
Speaker 2: others who are not kind and maybe haven't learned yet
10:07
Speaker 2: how to best use the skills and talents they've been
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Speaker 2: given because somebody who's a leader if they don't know
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Speaker 2: how to use that can become a bully you know
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Speaker 2: somebody who is very good at getting along with others
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Speaker 2: can also side with the bully and turn against you
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Speaker 2: because they're influenced by others so you know I learned
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Speaker 2: about the power of influence and my roommate was very
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Speaker 2: good at helping people come out of crisis. She was
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Speaker 2: a therapist and she would tell me Ruth you're collapsing
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Speaker 2: inside You're leaning against the wall. Stand up straight. You
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Speaker 2: stand up. You have a voice, you know. And so
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Speaker 2: I was learning so many things through the process of
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Speaker 2: writing and being in this school. And it's like I
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Speaker 2: had a little intimate experience. It might be what therapists
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Speaker 2: go through with EMDR. I'm not a therapist. I'm an educator.
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Speaker 2: But it was like I, something happened and I just
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Speaker 2: collapsed onto the floor and went into this place inside.
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Speaker 2: And it's like, Jesus guided me through being able to forgive,
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Speaker 2: understand why I didn't trust men, took me back to
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Speaker 2: that memory with the cat. He had me dance with
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Speaker 2: each of the people involved and forgive them and let
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Speaker 2: them float away like hot air balloons. And then he
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Speaker 2: up until this point when I would talk to Jesus,
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Speaker 2: he was always the lion. Cause I didn't have any
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Speaker 2: walls in my heart against the lion Aslan. But, um,
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Speaker 2: in this little experience in my heart, it's like he said,
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Speaker 2: now you can look at me and he was no
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Speaker 2: longer the lion. He was the most joyful. Um, like
12:08
Speaker 2: when I was in Hawaii, I was meeting Islanders and
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Speaker 2: they have this like joy about them. And, uh, A
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Speaker 2: joy de vie kind of thing. And that's what he
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Speaker 2: was like. He was just so joyful and laughing and fun.
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Speaker 2: And he just transformed my heart. And that's the story that...
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Speaker 2: That's what came out with the lion taking the bunny
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Speaker 2: on an adventure and learning identity and purpose and being
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Speaker 2: able to stand up and have a voice and own
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Speaker 2: my own self, you know?
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Speaker 1: So you... From what you're saying, it sounds like you
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Speaker 1: had this incredible, almost religious healing. Prior to that, Ruth,
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Speaker 1: you'd mentioned you saw a doctor. The doctor was like, hey,
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Speaker 1: I don't think you need to be on these meds
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Speaker 1: for life. Was there a time where you did seek
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Speaker 1: out a quote-unquote traditional therapist?
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Speaker 2: I had, yes, gone to a therapist.
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Speaker 1: Why did you go to the therapist? What was your
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Speaker 1: reasoning at that time?
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Speaker 2: I think I was struggling with depression.
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Speaker 1: Okay. And how old were you at that time?
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Speaker 2: That was maybe five years before that.
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Speaker 1: Okay. At that point, was there any indication that there
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Speaker 1: was a, there was a thread to that traumatic. Okay. No.
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Speaker 1: All right. So did you go.
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Speaker 2: See traumas really?
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Speaker 1: Okay.
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Speaker 2: And I didn't feel like I was really making progress.
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Speaker 2: I'm trying to remember where the therapist came in or
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Speaker 2: if I had possibly just started with the therapist after
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Speaker 2: I got on the medication, but then suddenly left because
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Speaker 2: it was a short period of time. I only had
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Speaker 2: a few sessions and, I'm thinking maybe that's what happened.
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Speaker 2: And then once I got to this place, I was
14:24
Speaker 2: introduced to something called healing prayer or theophastics. And there
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Speaker 2: was a therapist who had been dealing with a lot
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Speaker 2: of women who had gone through trauma. And he was
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Speaker 2: religious and he cried out to God, you know, I
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Speaker 2: don't seem to be helping people. Why?
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Speaker 1: And the.
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Speaker 2: Lord revealed to him that we can have these pockets
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Speaker 2: of pain that just get locked inside of us. And
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Speaker 2: it's hard to know where this really started. And so
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Speaker 2: the first person that did a healing prayer with me said,
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Speaker 2: you could spend many, many hours with a therapist, but
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Speaker 2: when God reveals where this started, And takes you back
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Speaker 2: to a specific memory. And then you start exploring what happened.
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Speaker 2: You can kind of like unpack that and let the
15:23
Speaker 2: stuff come out. And just talk it out. It's almost
15:27
Speaker 2: like watching a movie. She said like you might hear
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Speaker 2: a voice. You might smell something. And I heard my
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Speaker 2: little three-year-old voice for the first thing I went back to.
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Speaker 2: And I said something in my little three-year-old voice, which
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Speaker 2: shot me back to a memory that happened when I
15:50
Speaker 2: was about that age. And it was the first time
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Speaker 2: I got like a beasting in my heart that I
15:55
Speaker 2: didn't know how to process. And that got locked away.
15:59
Speaker 2: And somebody had mocked me. So every time I felt
16:04
Speaker 2: like a mockery thing, it would just feel huger and
16:09
Speaker 2: huger and huger. And I would just shut down and
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Speaker 2: I know I couldn't process things, you know, um, or rejection,
16:19
Speaker 2: you know, another time was a rejection and then it
16:22
Speaker 2: gets locked away. And every time that's touched, it feels
16:25
Speaker 2: bigger and bigger and bigger. And so I became a
16:28
Speaker 2: highly sensitive person and just very insecure. So easily hurt
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Speaker 2: so easily sliding into depression.
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Speaker 1: Anxiety let's let's let's talk about sociable bunny okay so
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Speaker 1: you you're at this what sounds like an incredible writing
16:47
Speaker 1: experience in hawaii your your friend who sounds also sounds
16:53
Speaker 1: amazing comes in says.
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Speaker 2: Good morning sociable bunny good.
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Speaker 1: Morning sociable bunny what did you want to do or
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Speaker 1: say with this book.
17:06
Speaker 2: Well, at first I was just unpacking my situation. I'd
17:11
Speaker 2: go for walks and each day I'd get a new
17:13
Speaker 2: chapter and it was just so surprising. And by the end,
17:17
Speaker 2: I was able to come back and not be a victim,
17:21
Speaker 2: but realize I could be a leader. And when I
17:24
Speaker 2: got back to Michigan after the school, people saw such
17:28
Speaker 2: transformation in me that they were inviting me to be
17:31
Speaker 2: speaker at different events and to share my story. And
17:36
Speaker 2: then I realized this has power to help other people
17:42
Speaker 2: being able to process things.
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Speaker 1: What has power?
17:48
Speaker 2: The story of learning how to unpack your trauma and
17:52
Speaker 2: go on an adventure. Well, for me, it's with God.
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Speaker 2: But I also ended up after this marrying someone who
18:02
Speaker 2: is an alcoholic and Because of that, I got into Al-Anon.
18:06
Speaker 2: And some people, you know, it's God as you understand him,
18:11
Speaker 2: you know. But so in the book that I wrote,
18:16
Speaker 2: it starts with the storybook, which is just the story
18:19
Speaker 2: of the little bunny getting bee stings. Like three different
18:25
Speaker 2: things happened. And she just, she had heard from her
18:31
Speaker 2: papa that there was a lion who sometimes take, took his,
18:35
Speaker 2: you know, her papa on an adventure and took her
18:37
Speaker 2: mama on an adventure. And she says, will he ever
18:40
Speaker 2: take me on an adventure? And he said, well, if
18:45
Speaker 2: you get to the point you really need it and
18:48
Speaker 2: you cry out to him, he might come take you
18:52
Speaker 2: on an adventure. And that's what happened. So when the
18:55
Speaker 2: third thing happened that was very, very traumatic for her,
18:59
Speaker 2: she cried out and he came and took her on
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Speaker 2: an adventure up into the, mountain and and well they
19:05
Speaker 2: went to the bunny burrow and got mama and so
19:08
Speaker 2: they went on an adventure together so she don't want
19:12
Speaker 2: like a inappropriate kind of thing happening so uh anyway
19:18
Speaker 2: and she learns her identity and her purpose and how
19:22
Speaker 2: to understand her friends and she comes back and next
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Speaker 2: time something happens she's able to turn it around and
19:29
Speaker 2: become the leader to take them on a fun adventure
19:33
Speaker 2: instead of collapsing and going into depression.
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Speaker 1: She's so, and just to be, just to be clear,
19:40
Speaker 1: this is a kid's book.
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Speaker 2: It's just a kid's book.
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Speaker 1: Okay. And it's being.
19:44
Speaker 2: Tested right now in second grade. Well, it's not, it
19:47
Speaker 2: was tested last year and they loved it so much.
19:50
Speaker 2: It's kind of goes between picture books and chapter books.
19:56
Speaker 2: It's a chapter book that has beautiful illustrations. And at
20:01
Speaker 2: the end of each chapter, There's a place where Fluffy
20:06
Speaker 2: wonders about your world, and there's always two questions and
20:09
Speaker 2: a challenge that takes her experience and says, have you
20:13
Speaker 2: ever felt like Fluffy? Have you ever gotten a bee
20:16
Speaker 2: sting in your heart or thought that you were different
20:20
Speaker 2: and maybe something's wrong with you?
20:23
Speaker 1: Right, right. Now, just to be clear for our audience,
20:26
Speaker 1: is this, you mentioned your religions. Is this an overtly
20:31
Speaker 1: religious book?
20:32
Speaker 2: It is not.
20:34
Speaker 1: No, okay.
20:36
Speaker 2: I read it after I first wrote it in a
20:38
Speaker 2: second grade classroom in Hawaii. The teacher happened to be Christian,
20:43
Speaker 2: and so anybody who knows Jesus recognizes the lion. Then
20:51
Speaker 2: she said, let's test it at another classroom, if the
20:56
Speaker 2: teacher would, who was very anti-Christian. religious. She was an
21:01
Speaker 2: atheist and she was hostile towards Christianity. He said, see,
21:06
Speaker 2: let's see what happens if you read it in that classroom. Well,
21:11
Speaker 2: there was one little boy who recognized the lion and
21:14
Speaker 2: he's like, and he looks at the teacher and it
21:17
Speaker 2: just went right over her head because she doesn't know Jesus.
21:20
Speaker 2: So she didn't recognize it. It's just a lion and
21:22
Speaker 2: a bunny. Sure. Or it could be, you know, for
21:26
Speaker 2: any faith that has a hero mentor who Of course.
21:30
Speaker 1: It's symbolic.
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Speaker 2: Yes.
21:32
Speaker 1: Yeah.
21:32
Speaker 2: Yeah.
21:33
Speaker 1: Very much so. Now you'd mentioned on that journey, the
21:39
Speaker 1: bunny learns their identity and their purpose. Say more about that.
21:46
Speaker 2: So I happen to be very tall for my age
21:50
Speaker 2: and I was teased about it and I was called
21:52
Speaker 2: an Amazon, you know, and And I have big teeth
21:57
Speaker 2: and I had to wear ugly saddle shoes. And because
22:02
Speaker 2: of my appearance, I got a lot of bad comments.
22:06
Speaker 2: I was bigger than all the other kids and stuff,
22:09
Speaker 2: you know? Well, so Jesus said, you're tall for a
22:16
Speaker 2: reason because you're stately and you carry something strong. And
22:23
Speaker 2: it's like you, He gave me a scepter to pray
22:25
Speaker 2: blessings over people, you know, and to help. And people
22:35
Speaker 2: have commented on that I have a smile that can
22:40
Speaker 2: light up their hearts, you know. And so even if
22:43
Speaker 2: I have a big teeth, they're blessed by my smile,
22:47
Speaker 2: you know.
22:48
Speaker 1: And....
22:52
Speaker 2: That I have blue eyes because I like to look
22:55
Speaker 2: up at the sky and imagine what heaven might be like,
22:57
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, where he took things and turned
23:01
Speaker 2: them around and made them into something beautiful and positive
23:05
Speaker 2: that I can appreciate myself. So that's part of my identity.
23:12
Speaker 2: And my purpose is to bring light and love to others.
23:15
Speaker 2: And that's what I am trying to do through the story.
23:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I mean, there's so many, especially
23:23
Speaker 1: for kids, right? There's so many potential roadblocks, especially about
23:29
Speaker 1: how we look.
23:31
Speaker 2: Yeah.
23:32
Speaker 1: You know, whether we have big teeth or what, you know,
23:35
Speaker 1: or a big nose or whatever it is. But I
23:40
Speaker 1: think to be able to have an opportunity to reframe
23:46
Speaker 1: that and look at it from a different angle... where
23:49
Speaker 1: you're able to appreciate it. It's very powerful.
23:52
Speaker 2: It was for me. And it was transformational. It's almost
23:55
Speaker 2: like I was recreated on the inside. And that's why
24:01
Speaker 2: when I came back to my home church, one of
24:05
Speaker 2: the couples noticed such a change in me. They said,
24:09
Speaker 2: we need to go to this school. And he was
24:12
Speaker 2: a physician, a very well-known good doctor. And he went
24:17
Speaker 2: to the school and came back and decided to be
24:19
Speaker 2: a pastor.
24:21
Speaker 1: You must have been on fire when you got back
24:25
Speaker 1: from that writing workshop. I mean, what the heck was
24:31
Speaker 1: going on there?
24:32
Speaker 2: What happened?
24:35
Speaker 1: Did you go there? You said, I'm sorry, did you
24:37
Speaker 1: say you went there, you were like rock bottom type
24:43
Speaker 1: thing and you were just so open? Like, you were
24:47
Speaker 1: just ready I was.
24:49
Speaker 2: And when I learned to listen to the voice of
24:53
Speaker 2: Jesus and I would write each day and he would
24:56
Speaker 2: tell me the most surprising, positive things that, you know,
25:02
Speaker 2: I'd ask a question at this level and he'd answer
25:04
Speaker 2: at a much deeper level that just gave me new life.
25:09
Speaker 2: And then going through a couple of these experiences of
25:13
Speaker 2: going back into memories, getting rid of the pain, just
25:17
Speaker 2: pouring it out and then I would one of the
25:23
Speaker 2: things in the exercise was look for Jesus you know
25:27
Speaker 2: my eyes were closed and I would I would see
25:30
Speaker 2: him and he would pick me up and tell me
25:33
Speaker 2: something and whatever he told me just gave me new
25:37
Speaker 2: life and one of the memories was very powerful because
25:42
Speaker 2: um This roommate who is a therapist, I'd be brushing
25:46
Speaker 2: my teeth and she'd say, can I pray for you?
25:49
Speaker 2: And she would pray against the spirit of witchcraft. I'm like,
25:54
Speaker 2: I was raised in a Christian family. I have no
25:57
Speaker 2: idea where witchcraft came in. Well, one of the memories
26:02
Speaker 2: shot me back and I became my great grandmother in Europe.
26:08
Speaker 2: Giving birth, she had an illegitimate child and was really
26:14
Speaker 2: persecuted for it. She was out, made to work out
26:17
Speaker 2: in the fields right up to the end. She gave birth.
26:19
Speaker 2: The story is out in the field by herself. And
26:23
Speaker 2: it was, she had such trauma and maybe she turned
26:28
Speaker 2: to witchcraft for help. I don't know. I have no idea.
26:32
Speaker 2: But when I shot back into her memory, I had
26:38
Speaker 2: such compassion and love and heart for her. And whoever
26:45
Speaker 2: was like guiding me through this said, you have to
26:49
Speaker 2: cut off yourself from her memory. And I'm like, I can't.
26:54
Speaker 2: I felt like she was a rubber band and was
26:56
Speaker 2: just going to shoot back to oblivion. I had to
27:00
Speaker 2: like hand her gently over to Jesus. And that's when
27:08
Speaker 2: that whatever that was, was released to me. I actually
27:11
Speaker 2: felt her ear infection. I was doubled over like I
27:15
Speaker 2: was in labor. I mean, I was like having her
27:18
Speaker 2: physical memories and it was just horrific. And when I
27:22
Speaker 2: handed her over....
27:26
Speaker 1: Prior to this workshop, I mean, you said you were
27:30
Speaker 1: listening to Jesus differently. How were you experiencing... your religion
27:38
Speaker 1: prior to this workshop?
27:42
Speaker 2: I loved God, but you know, because of my trauma,
27:47
Speaker 2: I had a wall. Jesus is a man. God is
27:50
Speaker 2: a father. And until that was healed, I wasn't really that,
27:59
Speaker 2: I was still guarded. I was, even though I believed
28:03
Speaker 2: it here, but I, I was still protecting my heart.
28:09
Speaker 2: And so it wasn't, I wasn't open. I didn't know
28:13
Speaker 2: how to hear his voice. And when she had us
28:16
Speaker 2: do that exercise, write a question and just listen. Oh
28:21
Speaker 2: my gosh, his voice is so gentle and funny and surprising.
28:29
Speaker 2: And I love all those things. And it wasn't like
28:35
Speaker 2: a religion of, your sin and you deserve punishment. And,
28:41
Speaker 2: you know, he, he was taking me on an adventure
28:45
Speaker 2: and like we were building a love relationship and trust
28:50
Speaker 2: and excitement. And I came back, I don't know if
28:54
Speaker 2: I was on fire, if I was just so lighthearted
28:58
Speaker 2: and happy. And I felt like I was on vacation.
29:02
Speaker 2: Like I've been on vacation in my heart ever since
29:05
Speaker 2: because I, The anxiety is gone. The depression is gone.
29:09
Speaker 2: The insecurity is gone. And so in my soul, I'm
29:15
Speaker 2: on vacation because all of that heaviness is gone. And
29:23
Speaker 2: even when I work, it's fun. It's an adventure because like, okay, Lord,
29:29
Speaker 2: what are you going to show me today? What are
29:30
Speaker 2: we going to write about today? That is incredible.
29:35
Speaker 1: I mean, it's very inspiring. So, um for our listeners
29:39
Speaker 1: here as we kind of wind down the book is
29:42
Speaker 1: for kids obviously the book potentially could be for what
29:45
Speaker 1: therapists who are working with kids.
29:48
Speaker 2: Yes and i've had okay the teacher using it there's
29:51
Speaker 2: a hero mentor handbook for parents grandparents teachers it could
29:56
Speaker 2: be therapists and There are 18 chapters and also just
30:02
Speaker 2: to know for the kids, there's an activity book. And
30:06
Speaker 2: in it, each chapter pulls out one paragraph and then
30:13
Speaker 2: it gives the concept for that. Like this one is
30:16
Speaker 2: Bonzo and like no stings. Bonzo can just shoot these
30:21
Speaker 2: words that are hurtful, you know, and so the kids
30:24
Speaker 2: are learning that you don't want to give stings. And
30:27
Speaker 2: then in there's a little, uh, the activity here is
30:33
Speaker 2: write a little note to Fluffy, you know, telling her whatever,
30:39
Speaker 2: why you did the sting or if you feel bad
30:41
Speaker 2: about doing it. And then the maze, he finds his
30:45
Speaker 2: way to her house to give her the lead, you know,
30:49
Speaker 2: the little letter. And then in the bubble are the
30:52
Speaker 2: questions to talk about with your hero mentor. Um, what's
30:57
Speaker 2: going on in your own heart you know have you
31:00
Speaker 2: stung somebody or have you been stung and how did
31:03
Speaker 2: you feel about that where do you think that came
31:06
Speaker 2: from it can go anywhere so in the second grade
31:09
Speaker 2: classroom they're having such deep conversations she said she can't
31:16
Speaker 2: believe it's how deep second graders can go um about
31:20
Speaker 2: what's happening in their lives and it's changing how they're
31:24
Speaker 2: treating each other um One of the kids told me
31:29
Speaker 2: that they noticed they feel they're more resilient than maybe,
31:34
Speaker 2: this is somebody who's been through it a couple of
31:37
Speaker 2: years ago. And she said she noticed she's more resilient
31:41
Speaker 2: and confident than her peers. Another one of the little
31:45
Speaker 2: girls that went through it just received the principal's award
31:48
Speaker 2: for top character in her class. Another little boy told
31:53
Speaker 2: me after he went through the program, He said, I'm
31:57
Speaker 2: a very happy boy because I went through this. Had
31:59
Speaker 2: I not met the sociable bunny, I would not be
32:02
Speaker 2: happy because he said, I'm very unique and I've gotten
32:06
Speaker 2: a lot of bullying. But now I know that it's
32:11
Speaker 2: important to be unique. I know where to go for comfort.
32:15
Speaker 2: I understand why my friends might not know how to
32:19
Speaker 2: be kind yet, you know.
32:22
Speaker 1: Well, there you go. There's your testimonials.
32:25
Speaker 2: And then there's a little boy in second grade. You're
32:27
Speaker 2: not going to believe this one guy, but a year ago,
32:31
Speaker 2: I think he was adopted. If I remember the story, right.
32:35
Speaker 2: And might have some attachment disorder, but he was already
32:40
Speaker 2: at seven years old, threatening to kill his parents in
32:42
Speaker 2: their sleep. He would come up to the teacher, kick
32:46
Speaker 2: her so hard. She'd have like a, you know, baseball
32:49
Speaker 2: size lump on her leg, you know, and, He started
32:53
Speaker 2: going through this. Teacher is older and she's very good
32:58
Speaker 2: at knowing how to calm him down and embrace him
33:01
Speaker 2: and love him. And by the end of the year,
33:04
Speaker 2: she had me come in and talk to the, you know,
33:06
Speaker 2: meet the kids. And each of them wrote who was
33:11
Speaker 2: their favorite character, why, and what did they learn about themselves?
33:14
Speaker 2: And he said his favorite character was Mama because she's
33:16
Speaker 2: kind and helpful. He learned about himself. He's not kind.
33:22
Speaker 2: And the life lesson is that it's important to be kind.
33:26
Speaker 2: And he thought with God's help and his parents, maybe
33:29
Speaker 2: he could do better. So over the summer, the teacher
33:33
Speaker 2: recommended they go through it again with the Hero Mentor Handbook.
33:37
Speaker 2: The dad started taking him on adventures. And he came
33:41
Speaker 2: back to school. The other teachers noticed the change in him.
33:45
Speaker 2: And he was held back a year. So he's gone
33:47
Speaker 2: through it now for the third time. As one of
33:51
Speaker 2: the leaders in the classroom, helping the other kids. And
33:56
Speaker 2: his mom came to the teacher last month and said,
33:59
Speaker 2: I cannot thank you and the author enough because I
34:04
Speaker 2: was living with a monster. And now I have a
34:07
Speaker 2: little boy in the house.
34:10
Speaker 1: All right, Ruth, we got to close out here. What's
34:13
Speaker 1: the best way for people to learn more about you
34:17
Speaker 1: and the book?
34:18
Speaker 2: They can learn about the book on Sociable Bunny. That's SquishableBunny.com.
34:30
Speaker 1: Okay.
34:31
Speaker 2: And if they have more questions for me personally, my
34:34
Speaker 2: name is Ruth Wilke, Ruth.Wilke at gmail.com.
34:41
Speaker 1: Okay. We'll have all that linked up here at the
34:43
Speaker 1: show notes page at the podcast, traumatherapistpodcast.com. Ruth, thank you
34:49
Speaker 1: for being here and sharing your story, which is really
34:53
Speaker 1: incredible and what you're doing for kids.
34:54
Speaker 2: I had no idea I was going to be sharing
34:57
Speaker 2: so intimately that personal journey.
35:00
Speaker 1: That's what this is about, Ruth. That's what this is about.
35:04
Speaker 2: I wish this for everybody. And if anybody wants to
35:10
Speaker 2: ask Jesus how he feels about them and what are
35:14
Speaker 2: his plans and purposes for your life, You never know
35:17
Speaker 2: what kind of adventure it might take you on. I
35:19
Speaker 2: was very surprised.
35:22
Speaker 1: Great meeting you. Thank you so much for being here.
35:24
Speaker 2: Thank you, Guy.
35:25
Speaker 1: Have a wonderful day. Bye-bye.