Latest / Citizen Frame / Xmas Month: Deck the Halls (2006)

Transcript

Xmas Month: Deck the Halls (2006) · Citizen Frame

0:12
Buddy. Hey, Steve. Do you have any idea what time it is?
0:17
What's the matter? Are all the clocks in your house busted? No, I know what time it is.
0:22
Oh, what, you just need an excuse to come over here in your underwear?
0:26
Oh, no, I was being sarcastic. Oh. Well, you gotta know that stuff like that
0:30
just goes right over my head.
0:32
Here, holy says, I want to strand them out. No, I will not hold on to this.
0:35
That's why I came over here. You're making all kinds of noise.
0:39
Do you have any idea how bright your house is? Yeah, it's pretty damn bright.
0:44
One. Look at that. Whoa!
0:47
Hey everybody, welcome back to another exciting episode. Actually not. Sorry, I lied.
0:52
Welcome back to an episode, Christmas month, here at Citizen Frame,
0:58
as we talk Deck the Halls.
1:02
We talk Christmas with the Cranks, and we've talked, you know, a couple,
1:10
well, last week, we talked about Home Alone a gentleman of a film,
1:16
of a Christmas film I guess you could say and,
1:20
wow night and day when you compare Christmas the Cranks with Home Alone night
1:24
and fucking day Christmas the Cranks is an absolutely terrible terrible terrible
1:28
film with somebody like Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis,
1:33
yeah good supporting cast you can't really mess this up right well they did
1:37
it was terrible it's a masterpiece compared to this Well, that's what I'm about to say.
1:43
I don't think they could really make a worse film, Christmas film,
1:48
than with Christmas with the Cranks.
1:52
But I've been disproven.
1:55
Because this movie is, I have to watch the film twice. And I don't mind doing
2:03
it. You watch the film just to watch it.
2:05
Like as a first-time viewer.
2:07
You don't want to be distracted by writing anything down. you just want to watch
2:12
it and then I'll revisit it in a few days time I'm not going to watch it back to back,
2:18
this one I could not do that and so I watched it again and take my notes,
2:25
pause, forward, rewind that kind of thing it took me, this movie is an hour and a half,
2:33
and by the way it's an hour and that means it's an hour and 29 minutes too long.
2:38
But it took me to watch an hour and a half film,
2:42
Probably a couple of weeks. I was the same. I couldn't watch it in one sitting.
2:48
I had to watch it basically in phases.
2:51
It was just so irritating to me.
2:54
And it was actually over two days, two nights, actually.
2:58
I watched this, you know, I watched half of it one night. I think it lasted
3:03
about 20 minutes, switched it off, had enough.
3:05
And then the next night I watched the rest of it. But when I was doing the second,
3:11
you know, viewing the second part of it, I was, like, having to pause it and go and do stuff.
3:17
And, you know, anything is preferable to sitting through this absolute torture.
3:23
I'm going to write up on it a bit, which is sad.
3:27
Matthew Broderick trained as a speed skater for a few months before this film started.
3:32
I was going to mention that. I looked that up as well. Are you kidding me?
3:37
Yeah. Yeah, he actually, you know, that's quite professional.
3:42
And I take my hat off to him in a certain respect. But like, wow.
3:49
Rob Lowe and John Cusack does the bullet. Oh, yeah. They knocked it back. Does the choice.
3:58
Oh, OK. This movie costs 51 million to make.
4:04
What? that's borderline criminal you know what's more criminal think of what
4:09
that 51 million could have done do you know what it did make it almost made
4:17
the budget it made 47 million worldwide.
4:22
Yeah, I mean, the fact that it cost $51 million is staggering to me,
4:26
because it's basically a made-for-TV type film.
4:32
Don't insult made-for-TV movies. It feels like it. Don't insult made-for-TV movies.
4:38
Hallmark movies are better than this. I was just about to say that you took
4:41
the word straight out of my mouth.
4:43
At least Hallmark movies know what they are, and they're almost tongue-in-cheek.
4:48
They're almost winking at the audience saying, yeah, we'll know this is repackaged.
4:52
Nonsense but there's a certain market for it
4:55
so in that respect i actually prefer
4:58
hall and i hate hallmark movies uh but i actually
5:01
prefer them to this at least hallmark movies know what they are and you're sort
5:06
of in on the joke this is trying really hard to be a christmas family classic
5:14
and there is so much wrong with it which we'll get to you know what they they do try,
5:21
they try to do what Home Alone does where it entertains the adults as well as
5:27
the kids it's so forced but the problem is they try their best with a lot of innuendos in this,
5:36
and oh boy do those innuendos are batshit crazy and fucking creepy by the way
5:44
this film also sexualizes children we'll just get that out of the way from the
5:49
off with the twin daughters of Danny DeVito I will say this we are the best part of the film.
5:55
What? They're completely wooden and pointless? They're gorgeous.
5:59
They're twins. They're 15-year-olds? They're 19, by the way. In the film?
6:03
They're like 22. Yes, so I can say that without being a perv.
6:07
I can say that because I know what their true age is.
6:10
Right, well, I wouldn't say that. That's not something I would say.
6:12
Why would you not say they're good-looking girls? They're twins.
6:15
Because they're playing 15-year-olds. Okay, they're playing.
6:18
Super creepy and awkward. They're playing 15. We'll dive deeper into it.
6:22
People are going to be turning us off now.
6:24
Yeah yeah okay maybe not me
6:27
but you but yeah no they're like i see what karen's point but
6:30
that's trevor um because because they're
6:33
playing 15 year olds so it just would feel fucking
6:36
wrong and almost as wrong as
6:39
the scene oh get to it you're jumping what they're
6:42
doing basically a laptop let's move on here
6:45
okay we got matthew broadwick janny devito
6:48
christian shensworth kristin davis mattis
6:52
alia shock hat and the
6:55
rest who gives a fuck so we got steve finch buddy hall tia hall kelly finch
7:01
madison finch carter finch ashley hall emily hall wallace gustav and gerda and
7:07
wow this is terrible terrible we know that finch he's he's playing a dentist,
7:14
And he's stupid. No, no, he's an optician.
7:16
Get it right. Get Declan Halls right. The details are important. He's a dentist.
7:22
He's an optician. Oh, yeah. You know, he is. That's right.
7:26
That's right. That's right. He's fitting her, the old lady with glasses.
7:30
That's right. That's right.
7:31
Yeah. Who gives a fuck? And also insults older people.
7:36
Right from the off. So fucking stupid.
7:41
This is written by people who have no sense of humor and are basically winging
7:47
it as comedy writers. And, yeah.
7:51
There's this powerful moment. So the base of the story here is Matthew Broderick
7:57
likes to really celebrate Christmas, and he's known as the guy who,
8:00
you know, crosses T's, dot their I's.
8:03
He's a control freak. He's a control freak for Christmas. Because there's this
8:07
beautiful, powerful moment where his wife, Kelly, goes, let this go, man.
8:14
This is just Christmas, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, I moved from military
8:17
base to military base when I was a young man.
8:19
I never really got to experience real Christmas.
8:22
I just really want to have this with my family. His tragic backstory.
8:28
Yeah, his tragic backstory.
8:29
Explaining why he is the way he is.
8:31
Yeah, it was such an arc, you know.
8:36
You know Kirsten Davis she was in Sex and the City and she's playing Matthew
8:42
Broderick's wife and in real life Matthew Broderick is married to the star of
8:47
Sex and the City Sarah Jessica Parker,
8:50
so even his own wife probably was offered this role and said fuck no.
8:57
Yeah it's basically a woman from Sex and
9:00
the City and I would say about the female characters
9:03
here the wives basically where they're all and even the
9:06
daughters where they're all portrayed as obviously you know much more
9:09
sensible than the idiotic sort of husbands but there's this weird thing where
9:14
the wives especially have this vacant look behind their eyes and it's almost
9:21
like the midwitch cuckoos or something oh you know i know what that is it's
9:25
called what wooden acting no it's called regret,
9:29
yeah absolutely there's definitely an element of that there especially with
9:34
the Kirsten Davis character but they have this weird vacant look behind their eyes and it's not even,
9:40
maybe it is a bit of wooden acting and a bit of you know what the fuck am I
9:44
doing here, sack my agent but it's almost like you know village of the damned
9:49
type you know they've been possessed you know by alien entities,
9:55
it's just yeah,
9:58
they're acting like Kyle MacLachlan.
10:01
Ah, don't even start. Kyle MacLachlan would elevate this to real heights.
10:05
No, he wouldn't. He would. As Dale Cooper.
10:10
In fact, this is like some sort of David Lynch nightmare, you know,
10:16
but, you know, obviously nowhere near done as well.
10:19
I would like to see, I would have liked to have seen Lynch's take on something
10:22
like this. It would have been out there.
10:26
He does. It's called Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me.
10:29
Right. All right, so there's a funny line in it. I found a funny line.
10:34
I always like to find something out of a piece of shit. Go ahead.
10:38
So when the halls are moving in and it's like early in the morning,
10:43
like, well, it's like midnight or something like that.
10:46
And Broderick goes, who the hell moves in the middle of the night?
10:50
And then he says, a meth lab?
10:53
Well, I was just actually, I actually was going to say that I counted the amount
10:58
of times I laughed during this film.
11:01
It was zero. But there is one line later on that I actually did appreciate.
11:07
I mean, I wasn't rolling about the floor. My sides didn't split.
11:10
But it's whenever Matthew Broderick
11:13
and Danny DeVito were talking at this Christmas fur thing at the town.
11:17
And one of them says to the other, we're never going to agree on anything.
11:22
And the other one says, that's right. You know, so that was, it's subtle.
11:28
I can't believe I'm talking about subtlety here. with
11:31
this nonsense but that is the only line i
11:35
appreciate it and see another thing let's
11:38
talk about the townsfolk nobody in this town in this
11:41
entire film behaves or acts like a normal human being does again it goes back
11:47
to the weird sort of alien sort of possession vibes i hate it i this is hell
11:53
imagine living in this town this would be pure hell you know like actual hell.
12:02
Dreadful no matter what Danny DeVito does I'm giving Danny DeVito a pass in
12:08
this film I agree actually he's okay in this because he's playing Danny DeVito
12:13
Danny DeVito plays Manic really good and he's very lovable no matter what he does,
12:20
because he's Danny DeVito so he gets a pass he's actually well cast in this everyone else is,
12:27
yeah the humor.
12:31
The problem is it's adult humor trying to be in a family Christmas film. Like,
12:39
Well, I mean, there's a lot of sexual innuendos.
12:44
There's a scene where they're meeting the Halls for the first time and Steve
12:47
has his robe on and the wife of Hall, what's your fucking name? I don't give a fuck.
12:56
Tia goes, oh, you trying to show me something? And he's because his penis is
13:00
hanging out accidentally or something from his pajamas.
13:04
And they do a lot of that here. and that's something you see,
13:09
done well in like Bad Santa which is
13:12
an adult comedy Christmas film adult comedy this doesn't want those kind of
13:19
innuendos and you get quite a few of them and you get some kind of creepy comments
13:22
like there's a comment where it goes hey you don't own a cat do you and they
13:26
go no good I just dropped a fridge on one some of it got away,
13:31
it's forced it's completely forced and it
13:34
falls flat pretty much every single time danny
13:38
devito does his job you know it's a
13:41
danny devito so you're always going to like
13:44
danny devito and he obviously can do comedy acting
13:47
and stuff very well but it's the material here
13:50
is the issue and all of the jokes fall flat they do not land and a lot of it
13:57
well aside from the writing broderick is not good here and he just becomes quite
14:03
irritating As for the Tia and the woman from Sex and the City character Again,
14:10
it's just so flat And it just does not work And, you know,
14:18
comedy, writing comedy In my opinion, is the most difficult genre to nail and
14:24
get right out of them all And they just don't do it here in any way.
14:30
It falls flat on every single occasion. We meet the best characters in the film, Ashley and Emily.
14:38
That's the twins? Yeah. That's all I have to say.
14:42
Also, the mother is, what is it? She's like some sort of, she was like a nude
14:47
model before, and she's got her tits hanging out through it.
14:51
No, she's actually, it's completely freezing cold. Actually,
14:53
she's, give her credit as an actress. That's Christian Chenworth.
14:58
She's a multi-toni singer as well. She's a Tony Award winner.
15:02
Yes. So she's – the sad thing is all these actors have good street cred.
15:06
To me, Matthew Broderick peaked with Ferris Bueller, but he's got Tonys for
15:11
the producers, and he does a lot of Broadway.
15:14
And all these – and obviously, DeVito goes without saying. Casting's fine.
15:19
It's just – It's the material? Yeah, it's pointless.
15:22
He's a car salesman. And who does this? I don't get – he's a car salesman.
15:29
He's the best at what he is he even sells to the owner bad joke but he's not happy.
15:38
Because he wants to feel special or seen so they're talking about how the kids
15:45
are showing him Google Earth from space and how you can see your house from
15:49
Google Earth but we can't see mine while he wants to light up the house you can see it,
15:55
fucking stupid but he quits his job and spends millions on Christmas lights
16:01
to help make this happen.
16:03
And they're in debt. And the, why couldn't they have just done something where he still works.
16:10
He's working hard, trying to pay the bills.
16:13
Same time. He wants to do this setup, go batshit crazy.
16:16
That's fine. But you don't quit your fucking job when you're in debt and do this.
16:22
Preposterous. It's so fucking stupid. Yeah.
16:26
Yeah, I mean, to be honest, I wasn't even really dwelling on that.
16:30
But yeah, it's completely preposterous. Just because he wants to have his Christmas
16:35
lights on his house seen from space.
16:41
This sounds like whoever wrote it, they were all sitting about in some sort
16:44
of writer's room trying to think up wacky ideas. I don't know.
16:49
These guys, it's not comedy writing.
16:53
It's to me it is so forced and contrived yeah i know i know i know but it's
16:59
we got to talk scenes here it's to kind of piggyback on what you're saying we're
17:05
just saying the same thing it's,
17:08
there's a sleigh scene where he gets trapped on
17:10
the sleigh with these fucking rogue horses whatever the fuck he did and
17:14
he's and he flies and he pretty much killed dies
17:17
he would die but law physics don't apply in this piece of shit and he falls
17:23
through the ice and he wakes up in the backseat of his car wrapped in a sleeping
17:27
bag with a naked daddy devito with his neck against his naked body because he
17:32
says body wants to say and then there's a line where he saved your life,
17:37
and it's like no he actually caused this accident in
17:40
the first place and this is actually really creepy to
17:43
me but yeah i mean it just
17:46
it's again it's it it's they're
17:50
trying to be absurdist you know absurdist humor and
17:53
stuff but there is a certain skill and
17:56
a knack to pulling that off including obviously the cast and the performers
18:01
and stuff and it just does in this setting in this type of family type supposed
18:08
family type film it just it's so forced there's a see there's one line that I think,
18:15
Hall gives to Finch, and I can't remember.
18:18
Something about the sheriff's cross-dresser. It was like a one-line.
18:22
The bra? Yeah. And so he goes to the cop to talk to him about the report or something,
18:30
and we can see he's wearing a bra, and then he beds down, and it's a thong,
18:34
which could have been played kind of funny if it went anywhere.
18:39
It's not followed up. Yeah, it's not followed up or anything. It's so random.
18:44
It's because it well it's placed in there in the beginning like i said he mentions
18:47
one comment he mentions it once and then we we get a an intro of it but it's
18:53
it's just why are we watching this,
18:56
they're throwing shit against the wall and hoping something sticks yeah that's
19:00
exactly it and this was this was pretty much filmed i mean they took three screenwriters
19:05
to write this piece of shit.
19:07
Free i know i looked up the credits they actually got some pretty good street cred doing,
19:13
tv which i you know that actually
19:16
piggybacks what you said you know what it is their first this is probably their
19:19
first time screenwriting probably interns and they go hey guys here's a table
19:22
here's get in the room and come up with a script that's exactly what happened
19:26
and they've tried to make it wacky and they're throwing lots of ideas out there
19:32
and they're just not pulled off basically,
19:36
So, another God, he cuts his power off by using a snowball, but he's got that
19:44
massive generator, and Hall doesn't appreciate being sabotaged.
19:49
So he forges his signature and buys him a car.
19:54
Yes, basically. So you would be in prison at this point.
19:59
Oh, there's a lot of stuff here that's, like, plainly illegal,
20:03
you know, Even especially later on with the whole hijacking by Finch where he's
20:10
basically setting houses on fire and all sorts.
20:15
When you really examine it, not that anyone would have any desire to over-examine
20:21
this, but if you're in some way a masochist and you decide to do so,
20:27
it's full of plot holes as well.
20:31
And stuff that just wouldn't happen in the real world. So he tells them,
20:35
Vince goes, you fucking send that car into my name.
20:39
Without my permission, I'm taking you down. So they go, I'll tell you what, I'll skate you for it.
20:45
If I win, you leave me alone, I'll take down the, you take down the likes.
20:50
If I win, you buy the, he buys the car.
20:54
In other words, he'll buy, he'll take accountability for the car that he did
20:58
not pay for. or sign up for.
21:01
And this Winterfest scene, it's to the point, this whole sequence of events
21:08
all the way to the talent show, this sequence is,
21:14
you can't get away with. Even back then, you couldn't get away with it.
21:19
You couldn't get it. You can't get away with this now.
21:23
You maybe could get away with it in an R-rated bad Santa movie with Billy Bob
21:28
Thornton because that's his intent.
21:31
But to sit here and have three girls coming out in sexy Santa outfits,
21:37
shaking their ass and their tits hanging out, and the two men,
21:42
Finch and Hall, are going, oh yeah, oh yeah, who's your daddy?
21:46
Who's your daddy? Their father. And they turn around and it's their actual 15-year-old
21:52
daughter's dancing like this.
21:54
How did they think this was going to work?
21:56
Bear in mind, bear in mind as well, just to make it worse, this is a family film.
22:00
Yeah, I mean, it's beyond cringe in many ways.
22:07
You know, the whole sort of Winterfest, sort of all of the sort of segments in it.
22:12
But this is just like, number one, it's not funny at all, you know,
22:17
in comedy, in terms of comedy.
22:20
You know, it's just like you've got basically,
22:24
you've got two middle aged men perving over their 15 year old daughters so I mean,
22:33
what the fuck then they cut to which is
22:36
a funny moment if you just look at that one moment but you can't because you're
22:42
already grossed out by what we just saw and because they're washing their eyes
22:46
out in holy water which I thought was kind of funny but the way the scene beforehand
22:52
hey, I was executed, it's not funny now.
22:55
It's distasteful. It's all about execution. It's distasteful, is what the problem is.
22:58
Yeah, and don't get me wrong. I mean, obviously, you can have gross-out comedy.
23:03
I'm a fan of things like Tom Green's Freddy Goodfinger and stuff,
23:06
and that's pure gross-out. But it's all about the delivery and the context.
23:11
And Tom Green's films and his whole act is not family-friendly,
23:16
but this is supposed to be.
23:19
And it's just completely out of place.
23:22
Obviously, it's fiction, you know, and, you know, no one is really being harmed.
23:27
But at the same time, from a comedic point of view, it doesn't work.
23:32
It just, like, basically all of this film, it falls flat. You go from one extreme
23:38
to another. I think that's the problem.
23:40
You have this kind of perverted scene, and then you cut to this Looney Tunes speed racing thing.
23:46
I've seen it that as well. Which was terrible. First of all,
23:49
the race is, like, three feet long. Yeah. But...
23:53
I felt sorry for anyone who was in this film.
23:59
Yes, totally. That includes the poor sort of jobbing actors who are playing
24:05
the German couple, you know?
24:07
Yeah, you know, with their dodgy accents and stuff, you know?
24:10
It's just, it's just, this town, it's just, I hated this town and the people in it.
24:20
This is my worst nightmare, going to a place like this. He buys his illegal fireworks.
24:27
More poor shit, yeah. And he fires them at the house. What was his intent?
24:31
Nothing really happens.
24:33
I think he was trying to take out the lights or whatever, the Christmas decorations,
24:38
and then he ends up setting his own house on fire, almost kills his family,
24:42
which actually probably wouldn't have been a bad thing.
24:47
Actually, I'm going to be fair here. You know who's not bad?
24:52
And I'm not talking like you know epic stuff
24:54
here but the young actor who plays his son
24:57
and actually his daughter they're not bad actors
25:00
in terms of acting they're not bad but yeah
25:04
again with this type of character the
25:07
Broderick Finch character obviously a play on Grinch you
25:10
know Finch Grinch you know you're supposed you know it
25:13
meant to be like a Scrooge type character who you sort of yeah he's a bit of
25:18
a dick but you sort of like him anyway but he's just complete he's a sociopath
25:24
and a complete nasty bastard and very unlikable I just don't know what else to say,
25:33
Neither of the actors.
25:36
I mean, I don't mind Broderick. I think for me, I prefer Broderick as a child
25:41
actor, actually, in the likes of War Games and Ferris Bueller.
25:44
I'm not really into his stuff, you know, as an adult.
25:48
Some awful films like Godzilla. Yeah, no.
25:52
I think Bluttsy Blues in the late 80s, which was the last good film to me.
25:56
Max Dugan Returns, War Games.
25:59
Inspector Gadget. That was terrible. That was terrible. Yeah, no, no.
26:03
That's not that's what i'm talking about whenever he's an adult the i
26:06
can't have nothing against broderick personally but concerning this
26:10
film and this character it's just here's here's another thing that pisses me
26:16
out again you got to suspend your disbelief right there you give that you give
26:21
film certain passes that's fine but this one goes fucking to the point where
26:25
i'm getting pissed because the continuity is starting to just make any fucking sense.
26:31
So the fucking women leave, the family leaves them alone.
26:36
They go to a hotel room, all right? And-
26:40
And then the Hall and Finch get together and says, we got to make this right.
26:45
Yeah, we can do this. And he gives some fucking speech and Finch feels sorry
26:49
for him. He goes, oh, fuck it. Let's just get this done.
26:51
We need to get our families back because that's what Christmas is really about. Blah, blah, blah.
26:55
Right? Yeah. This happens that night. All right. We'll say it's eight.
27:01
We'll say seven o'clock at night. Okay.
27:03
We're going to give them even. I'm going to give three hours later.
27:07
I'm going to even give them three fucking hours later because the families are
27:11
still up in the hotel room watching some TV movie.
27:14
Okay? It's one of five things playing. Whatever.
27:17
They get a knock at the door. They open the door.
27:21
The entire fucking motel is Christmas decorated. No sounds were heard.
27:25
These guys, two men, two men, literally made a massive walkway from that hotel to their house.
27:37
And that's probably about, we'll say, two miles. And that's being generous.
27:41
We'll say two miles away.
27:42
They, all the way through the city streets of the town, to their house,
27:47
Christmas lights and Christmas trees, this pathway of lights to their house.
27:53
How in God's name is this possible?
27:56
It would have taken, in real life terms, it would have taken something like that weeks to do.
28:01
They would have had to have permission from the council, which they would have
28:04
had to put in writing and all this here.
28:07
The fact that we're being so distracted by these obvious plot holes,
28:13
not only did they do this in like a couple of hours or whatever,
28:17
but they also were able to prepare an epic Christmas dinner for their wives
28:23
based on a woman from Sex and the City's cookbook that she apparently wrote
28:28
while all of this was going on throughout the film.
28:30
Then they have a big happy ending with all of the idiotic townsfolk with their phones and stuff and.
28:39
Yeah, I mean, I haven't had a drink in seven years, but this made me want to
28:43
reach for a bottle of vodka.
28:46
I mean, yeah, the lights won't come on. They decided we're going to get the
28:50
lights up. Oh, yes, the big dramatic.
28:52
Oh, no, the lights won't come on. But, ah, it did come on. And then the fucking town folks show up.
29:00
And, like, we call them TV. They're coming down.
29:03
And the lights aren't working. And they all hold their phones up.
29:06
I was waiting for fucking We Are The World to fucking break in everyone to break
29:10
in the salon and what I actually thought was going to happen was that,
29:15
actually the trans folk with their stupid flipping phones from 20 years ago
29:20
would have been visible from space or something, I wanted actually,
29:23
I wanted them to be visible from space and fucking aliens to come and blast the shit out of them,
29:31
that would have been a good ending, but I mean it goes back to,
29:34
I mean in the last podcast we were talking about Humble Loan being tightly written
29:37
and every scene works and makes sense and follows on and you know sort of everything
29:42
in terms of the script writing works this is the fucking antithesis of that in here,
29:50
the problem with this and Christmas the Cranks is,
29:54
they just needed to strip it back and I don't mean the twins.
30:00
They needed to strip it back by about like the entire run well no I mean they
30:05
They feel like, let's just really, really push, push this. We'll push this further and further.
30:10
No, you could have, you could have done this more subtler, subtle, by just, just relax.
30:18
Get rid of the innuendos. You can have good looking daughters.
30:22
No mother will let their daughters, by the way, walk out in the winter like
30:25
that. But I don't know. But.
30:28
Just make the daughters yeteen, legal. Just pull it back.
30:33
That's it. And play on some of the funnies. The sheriff thing would have been
30:36
funnier if you had another scene with him. And he's dressed up as a Santa.
30:41
But he's in like a- There's no payoff. Yeah. He's in like maybe a Mrs.
30:44
Claus outfit. That would have been funny. You know, play on that.
30:48
Yeah. But the stuff they- I mean, all these kind of films always have something
30:53
there that you can work with. But they don't.
30:56
There's a scene where- Hall gives his wife Tia A vase Her family vase And she
31:05
starts crying Oh you got my vase Well yeah he fucking stole it from you And
31:09
pawned it so he could buy Christmas lights,
31:12
Where's he getting all this money Because he then like Spends a
31:15
complete fortune buying the vase back And it's
31:18
just So contrived This is like
31:21
the ultimate contrived Nonsense I actually
31:24
hate shit like this but this is almost like the
31:27
pinnacle of the type of shit i hate it really
31:31
it actually angered me watching it and i don't i don't i get annoyed with myself
31:37
if i get angered over fiction but it was just i think it was more angered that
31:42
i was actually having to sit through it and i had you know other stuff going
31:45
on that i could have been doing you know like basically i don't know.
31:50
Jumping off a bridge maybe would be preferable you know,
31:54
yeah it's yeah let's just end this I don't have time for it anymore,
32:00
But what about the big ending where they all sing the carols? Oh, God, that's right.
32:04
Because he's a classically trained actress, a stage singer. Musical,
32:09
yeah. So she has to break in a fucking song.
32:15
Did you see me doing that?
32:18
That would be funny, bud. That would be funny. Because they can't sing. That's the best.
32:22
Well, I have a beautiful voice. Yeah, same here. Oh, I mean,
32:24
I'm a horrendous singer. I sound like Michael Bolton.
32:29
Right. yeah right no
32:33
I mean it's just like yeah and it's I would
32:37
hate again I repeat it I would hate
32:40
to live in this town this is hell this town this is invitation to hell the 1984
32:47
where's Craven made for TV no dude you gotta stop promoting that it's a terrible
32:52
film come on man it's alright it's a terrible film,
32:58
Betterness.
32:59
No. A million times better. They're both terrible. Both different genres, though.
33:03
Yeah. Yeah, we're going to wrap this one up. All right. We're going to end the
33:07
year with a year-end review and the movie Wicked, part one.
33:11
That's up next. We're going to take a few days off for obvious reasons.
33:15
But until then, we're not going to. Yeah, you guys, listen. Thanks for everything.
33:20
And again, we'll go over numbers and how we've done this year before we do Wicked.
33:24
And so in the meantime you guys have a great Christmas and you know be safe
33:32
whatever it is you fucking do whatever it is you fucking celebrate.
33:36
That's it that's all I've got
33:37
that was pretty nice of me pretty nice of me have a great Christmas folks,
33:42
and whatever you do over Christmas stay safe by not watching Deck the Halls,
33:48
they need to watch it because we didn't do the review justice we kind of just
33:52
bitched at it we didn't really back it up.
33:54
So they might have to say it to understand what we're talking about, especially the twins.
34:00
Yeah, that's weird. All right, guys, take care of yourselves. Enjoy the holiday.