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117. You're Overqualified - How to Stop Waiting to Feel Ready · You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women

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  Just want to, you know, jump in to today's episode, which is
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  highlighting the theme of our new podcast title and that is
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  You're overqualified. How to stop waiting to feel
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  ready? And so there is this big thing
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  that will come up when it comes to do I feel ready to do the
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  thing? So do I feel ready that I can
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  ask for this promotion? Do I have to take XY and more,
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  you know, Z steps in order to really ask for it?
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  Do I feel ready to start this business?
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  Do I have to have more experience or create more
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  planning or, you know, figure out the perfect ideal client?
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  Am I, am I ready? You know, am I qualified enough?
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  You know, can I become a speaker?
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  Can I go for a, a new kind of career and career path and
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  trajectory? And so a lot of these times
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  what's coming up for us is we're trying to qualify ourselves.
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  We're trying to say, am I an expert?
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  Do I have enough experience? Am I able to do this?
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  And honey, yes you do. Yes, you do.
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  Especially the women that I work with.
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  Especially, right, because you are so ambitious, you are so
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  driven, you are so dedicated, you are so motivated when it
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  comes to your work, when it comes to your family, when it
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  comes to your friends. Typically who I'm working with,
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  ever since they were a little child, they have been given
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  responsibilities to take on for their family.
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  Either they are the ones parenting their parents and
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  their family, or they're the ones parenting their siblings,
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  or they are the ones who are figuring everything out.
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  So you, you are is who I'm talking to.
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  You have been overqualified since the day you were born.
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  And that is because you have been shouldering the mental,
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  emotional, physical labor of generations and generations.
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  From the guy on the project in college who did not do his work,
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  that you had to carry the weight from your parents who didn't
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  understand how to fill out some paperwork, so you had to do it
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  for them, even though it was their responsibility as a parent
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  for you who was taking care of you, your younger siblings,
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  right? When your parents were busy
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  multitasking, doing too many things because they were busy
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  with work, that's totally understandable.
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  But it doesn't mean that you haven't gained all this
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  experience and qualities to be the project manager, right?
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  Of people's lives and of your life, right to bring things to
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  fruition, to be launching multiple things at once.
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  And so anytime you doubt yourself and you stop yourself
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  from feeling as though you are ready, I wanted to think to
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  yourself, would you tell that to your friend?
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  And would you tell that to your family member?
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  If your friend was telling you that they don't feel ready to do
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  something, they don't feel ready to ask for a salary increase.
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  They don't feel ready to ask for a promotion.
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  They don't feel ready to start a business.
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  What would you tell them? What would you tell them?
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  And this is, I'm coming in hot today because it's just, it
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  breaks my heart. And This is why I do this work.
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  It breaks my heart because listen, having changed careers
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  five times having go and from a sample coordinator to AVP of a
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  billion dollar company. And I say that because by doing
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  that, I saw so many mediocre people in high level positions
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  doing the bare minimum, asking for the most.
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  And what ends up happening is that the squeaky wheel does move
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  through because they are vocal, they're in the right places at
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  the right time, they're talking to the right people.
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  And so even though they may not be the most qualified or the
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  most experienced, they make it up.
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  And so when we have cultural differences or different
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  cultural values, which I talk about a lot, like I'm mixed
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  identity all, like I was born in America, but my family is from
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  the Philippines, China, Puerto Rico, like there is a whole mix
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  of identity there of these different cultures.
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  So growing up in America with these different values, there's
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  a difference between like the collective doing what's best for
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  the group, doing what's best for the unit versus being very,
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  like, individualistic and just focusing on yourself and trying
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  to make yourself. And so when these things start
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  to combat in corporate America, we start to wonder why, OK, Why
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  does it feel like it's falling off for women, especially men of
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  color, to get into leadership positions?
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  And that's because a lot of the values that were instilled in US
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  are beautiful, are gorgeous values that were instilled in
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  us. But we just have to become aware
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  of, OK, when we're in a certain system that values certain
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  values over others, do we want to 1 figure out how we can
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  change that for the overall system and the environment and
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  for the future generations? Do we want to just let it fly
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  like that? And, and how do we want to make
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  our lives become more successful?
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  How do we want to create, you know, success for ourselves?
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  And how do we want to define that?
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  And So what I'm talking about is this, I just don't want you to
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  discount yourself before you get there.
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  And so this is for you. If someone has been noodling on
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  some idea and you have not taken action towards it, I just want
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  you to notice that you are cutting yourself off from an
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  opportunity. And So what can you do to take
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  these steps forward? How can you start to feel ready?
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  You're not. You're not going to feel ready
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  because our brains, we don't want to bring it back to our
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  brains. Our brains want to keep us safe.
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  Our brains want to keep us in something that's familiar.
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  Our brains want to keep us in something that is secure.
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  And so you're going to stay in the same exact lane if you are
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  waiting to feel ready. So how you start to know if
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  things are ready and right if by taking action and taking steps
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  forward. And it's going to be messy, it's
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  going to be so messy and you may fail at times, which sounds
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  really terrifying. And you may say to me, Danny, I
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  don't have a back up plan. Danny, I don't have a trust
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  fund. Danny, I don't have a savings.
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  OK, I get it. So then that tells me you're
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  taking too big of a step. So take a smaller step towards
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  your goals. I talked about this with my
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  clients. It's called the evidence ladder.
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  OK, the evidence ladder. So when we want to take a really
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  big step, so I have my clients smack this out, this exercise
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  with me, let's say the big step is I want to change careers.
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  The big step is I want to ask for this promotion.
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  This big step is that I want to start my business, right?
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  And they're like, Nope, feel scary.
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  That's because our nervous system and our minds are like,
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  I'm jumping off a Cliff here. I can't make it happen.
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  And so we feel like I'm not an expert enough.
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  I don't have enough certifications, I don't have
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  enough education, I don't have enough experience.
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  And so we started to say they were under qualified.
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  And so I'm always like, you are overqualified.
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  You have to collect the evidence, collect the receipts.
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  I'm all about the receipts, I'm all about the data.
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  And so I have them work through the evidence ladder where we
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  figure out where are the building blocks to get you to
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  your goal. And that's what helps you not
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  just go off the feelings, but also facts, which is what I'm
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  all about. And so how can you use the
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  feelings as signals as to why you're feeling like I'm not
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  ready, I'm going to stop. What is that feeling actually?
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  Is it fear? And if that is the case, how do
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  we collect the data, the facts to help counteract and support
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  those feelings and to move you forward to what it is that you
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  want to pursue? And so this is where I go in
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  here of you're overqualified all this time, you just need to work
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  through the system to achieve that goal by breaking down the
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  data and evidence to help support it, to help your mind,
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  your nervous system realize that it is possible.
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  And so the question that I have for you to kind of reflect on
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  and think about is what is the thing that I did that was a big
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  jump or a big move? Like did you make a big move?
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  Did you, you know, decide on a major?
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  Did you decide on going to a company, a new company?
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  If you have made a big decision in the past that maybe you were
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  like nervous and didn't feel ready to do, what did you do to
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  make it happen? And that is something to kind of
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  noodle on to figure out. And so I say all of this because
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  I'm just thinking about like two different clients, honestly,
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  three different clients that I have this week where I was
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  having chats. So I have one client who total
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  Batty. She went on maternity leave and
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  she came back and she wanted to go for a promotion and basically
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  she had a new manager come in and she was told that she would
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  have to wait for a one year review cycle.
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  And so we sat down and created a plan of like, let's collect the
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  date and the evidence of like why?
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  That's probably not the scope of what is that you want.
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  She was able to go back combat it and now she is in the cycle
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  for six months. So she basically by sitting down
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  and collecting the evidence and versus saying like, oh, I'm not
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  qualified. I don't have all the things.
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  It was like, no, let's sit down and qualify it of how to achieve
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  that. Now she's moved up her cycle by
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  6 months, half a year. She moved it up by half a year.
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  And so just knowing that like you can sit down and do this
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  work for yourself of what it is that you want, how to get there.
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  My other client, she was, you know, her and her organization
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  parted ways. She always wanted to go full
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  time in her business. And she was like, out there, I
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  can do it. How can I ever support myself?
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  How am I able to cover my bills? I'm living in New York City.
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  That stuff isn't cheap, you know?
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  And so, Oh my gosh, what am I going to fail?
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  So again, it's like big goal, big jump, right?
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  So one person's a promotion, the next person is starting their
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  business. What if I have no safety in it?
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  I've immigrated to this country. You know, I don't have a backup
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  plan. My family is overseas.
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  What if I fail at starting this business for myself?
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  And so again, it was the same thing, like OK, let's go to the
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  exercise of mapping up the data and evidence of what is needed
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  in order for this to happen. I just caught up with her the
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  other day. She's booked and busy.
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  She has so many different clients that have come out of
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  the word work from the exercises that we went through.
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  And now she is able to build her business work on her own term
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  for work. We were Co working yesterday
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  from this beautiful hotel lobby and she is working with all
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  these different brands now where she's like I am, I was like
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  working late and I'm getting paid hourly.
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  This is amazing because she's she has her own business and she
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  can do that. And so that's the thing that's
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  amazing. And for her it was always about
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  having freedom of her time, her location, her being able to set
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  her pricing, her being able to set who she works with.
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  She working with women LED brands.
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  So you know, and we, and this is our third time working together.
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  The first time we work together was for her to get a job, which
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  she did and she landed and she got a double promotion and she
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  doubled her salary and now we're working together again.
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  And this time it's about her building out her business and
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  going like full time on her own. And so I'm just so proud for
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  her, right? Because a lot of these fears
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  could stop us from taking this action like, oh, I'm not ready.
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  I don't have an official website.
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  She doesn't have a website. Like I don't have a website.
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  I don't have this. No, it's about doing the thing
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  and putting yourself out there. And that is when you start to
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  feel ready. You build as you go.
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  I know that feels so scary for a lot of us because it doesn't
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  feel safe for us. And so that's the biggest thing
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  that I'm to help you with is figuring out how to make it feel
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  safe, right? How to make it feel safe.
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  And that's the most important thing.
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  So I could go on and on about my clients.
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  I absolutely love and adore them and they are total baddies.
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  I love them so much. But I will not support you with
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  that. But I would say this for you, if
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  you have been sitting on something for a while waiting to
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  see if you're ready, but that idea has been sitting for
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  months, maybe even years, then I would say book a call to learn
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  about what it's like to work together in private coaching.
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  I'm working with people inclusively in private coaching
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  just because I have found I love it.
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  I love it so, so, so much. We get so much deeper.
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  I move them along so much faster.
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  Just in two sessions, 2 sessions, I've tracked it
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  because I'm all into data as we know.
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  I went back, I did an analysis of all my client calls, all of
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  my clients goals, what it is they wanted to achieve.
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  And I found within one to two sessions they felt like they
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  were already taking action towards their plan of what they
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  want. Whether that was getting their
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  promotion mapped out and approved by their manager for a
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  timeline and for a budget. Whether that was for being able
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  to go all in on their business or start to build out their
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  business part time while incorporate.
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  And so I would say to you, like why snooze on anymore?
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  Like the one resource that we can never get back is time.
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  It's time you can't buy more time, you know.
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  And so I would just say if you are too busy scrolling, like
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  stop and let's take some action on some of your goals.
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  And So what does it like to work together is the first step
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  you're going to see is to book a call.
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  So go to my website, danitan.com.
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  That's DANITA n.com. There's a contact tab.
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  You click on that tab and you book a call with me.
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  The call is 60 minutes. And the reason why it's 60
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  minutes is because we want to make sure it makes sense.
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  I don't just take on anyone. I always want to make sure it
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  feels right for both of us. And so on that call, we're going
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  to talk about what your goals are or you're kind of feeling
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  stuck where you would like support.
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  And then I would talk about a plan for you and what looks like
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  work together. It's always a custom plan based
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  off of that person's goals and what they want to achieve when
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  they're coming into a call. And so just knowing that's what
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  it's really like. So we're kind of like diagnosing
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  for like the first half hour. I'm giving you recommendations
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  in the plan and then I close it on how it's like to work
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  together officially. All right.
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  And so I work with folks either in three month segments or six
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  month segments. If you're like, I don't know, I
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  have no idea which one would be best.
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  Don't worry, I'll recommend one to you.
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  Ultimately, you're the decider, but I will always recommend one
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  for you. And so I highly recommend just
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  booking call so we can get to know each other and meet each
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  other. When you book a call, there's an
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  intake form that's going to ask you some questions.
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  Fill that out. That helps me feel informed on
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  how to best serve you and how to best recommend a plan of what
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  it's like to work together. And so if you're like, I don't
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  have a plan, I don't know what I want to do, that's why you're
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  coming to coaching. That's what we're going to do to
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  work together. So if you're kind of like, I
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  know I want to do something for myself, but I'm not sure what it
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  is, we'll talk about it. That's totally OK.
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  I'll tell you this, Like years ago, when I was signing up for
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  coaching, I knew I wanted to have a business, but I wasn't
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  sure what kind of business it was.
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  And so I was like, well, I can never make an investment in
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  coaching. I don't know what I want it to
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  be. No, I figured it out in coaching
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  and I built that out by understanding what my skill sets
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  were, what my experiences were and how to translate that over
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  in something that I wanted to do.
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  So that's what I help a lot of my clients with.
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  A lot of them have broken into leadership and now they're like
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  oof, I want a long term plan, something for myself.
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  And so now they're building consulting businesses alongside
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  their corporate careers or they're doing some freelance
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  work alongside their careers. So when they start to see
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  something for future them when they wanna go full time or I
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  have folks who are being first time people leaders and they're
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  like, okay, like I want to break into this, you know, people
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  leader role so I can manage people, develop them.
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  But I need to 1 figure out what my next role would be.
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  How to scope that out? I want to figure out what my
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  promotion path is. So we do promotion planning
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  together and I want to figure out once I get in there, how do
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  I do a good job, right? Because we had a whole different
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  set of skills when it goes from being a doer to executor to
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  strategist, right? And so I'm all about facts,
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  feelings and strategy. So if any of these things
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  resonate with you and you've kind of been being like, oof,
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  I'm stuck. I don't know, I haven't been
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  taking action. What am I avoiding?
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  I love my avoidant girlies. So go ahead, book a call and I
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  hope to see you on the next call.
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  And so just know, again, this is Danny Tan and you're listening
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  to that you're Overqualified podcast.
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  Have a good one.