Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 21-Imposter Syndrome in CCPT - Part Two

Transcript

Episode 21-Imposter Syndrome in CCPT - Part Two · The Play Therapy Circle

0:00
Hi there and welcome to the Play Therapy Circle.
0:04
Before we begin, Please note this podcast is for
0:07
informational and educational purposes only.
0:10
It does not provide therapeutic advice and listening does not
0:14
create a client therapist relationship.
0:17
All views expressed are my own and any case example shared have
0:21
been de identified to protect privacy.
0:24
If you're seeking personal support, please reach out to a
0:27
qualified mental health professional in your area.
0:33
Hi and welcome to an episode of the Play Therapy Circle.
0:38
I'm Kylie Ellison, a therapist, clinical supervisor and play
0:42
therapy trainer, and I'm so grateful you're here.
0:46
This podcast is a space for thoughtful, soulful
0:49
conversations about child centred therapy, play based work
0:53
and what it means to show up with presence and compassion
0:57
both for our clients and for ourselves.
1:00
Whether you're a seasoned play therapist, a student just
1:03
starting out, or someone deeply passionate about working with
1:07
children, you belong here. So we also have when this comes
1:13
up, our internal conflict and literally I feel like sometimes
1:18
for beginning play therapists when people are explaining it to
1:21
me about how they feel, I literally feel like I can hear
1:23
their internal monologue when they're talking about sitting in
1:27
a playroom and a child isn't necessarily engaging in toys or
1:32
they've not been able to really sort of move to separate mum
1:35
from the child either. If they've got separation
1:37
anxiety, they have anxiety so severe that they're not talking
1:42
in therapy, which again, in CCPT doesn't matter.
1:44
But we feel like there's not a lot of progress even though
1:47
we're doing the same thing. We're meeting every Wednesday at
1:50
9:00 for, you know, 4550 minute session.
1:52
So often internally, you may have the following thoughts.
1:57
Is anything happening? Has anyone had that come up in
2:02
their mind? Is anything really happening
2:05
right now? Because it feels like I'm just
2:07
sitting here with this child. They've got their back to me and
2:11
they're not talking to me or really playing.
2:14
And mom's in the corner. She might be sort of, we're
2:17
trying to get her out of the playroom, but she's kind of
2:20
peering to the side and we're kind of like, Oh my God, am I
2:24
doing anything? Is anything happening?
2:27
What I would like to do is play devil's advocate in that moment
2:30
to anyone who's had that come up to say that if you do the same
2:34
thing, you get the same result. I'm going to say that again.
2:37
If you do the same thing, you get the same result.
2:40
So what happens for those kids that are really resistant to
2:44
engaging or resisting progress in play therapy?
2:48
When we're sitting in the room thinking, is there actually
2:51
anything really happening? Absolutely.
2:53
The answer is yes, absolutely, because what are you doing in
2:56
that moment, as Gary Landress would lean into and say that
3:00
when we talk about our role in the play therapy room, it's
3:03
about facilitating that socially acceptable relationship.
3:05
So we are not going to respond in ways that people outside of
3:09
play therapy do. So in that moment, if you have a
3:12
child who is deeply resistant to therapy, what I want to plant
3:16
the seed, and this then leans into kind of our Freudian lens.
3:19
So I don't want to lose anyone with this, but oftentimes what I
3:22
see it as is learned behaviours and not in a way where they're
3:26
trying to be very difficult. Not, I don't mean that in any
3:30
sense, but what I mean is they have learnt to avoid being
3:34
vulnerable, to avoid opening up and talking about my deep
3:37
feelings. Because when I did, historically
3:39
no one was there to support me or I wasn't validated in my
3:41
feelings. So what I've learned is to shut
3:44
down. So what I do is shut people out
3:47
so that I can keep safe and I can and hold kind of to my chest
3:51
and to my heart those deeply vulnerable feelings and
3:55
experiences. And so when we don't push
3:58
children where maybe they have outside of play therapy, so
4:00
maybe adults have questioned them, maybe adults have gotten
4:03
mad at them for not talking. Maybe there's been a punishment
4:06
because they actually didn't talk to them.
4:08
They got sent to the whatever, whatever.
4:10
We are not engaging in any of that behaviour that they would
4:14
expect us to. And that's where the immediate
4:17
start of the learning and growth of the child happens because
4:20
they immediately go, hang on a minute, she's not asking me
4:24
questions right now. Hang on a minute.
4:25
She's not making me play with her.
4:28
Wait a second, she's not going to give me a punishment right
4:31
now. So literally, we're having that
4:34
internal dialogue with ourselves.
4:36
So is the child in some respects.
4:38
It might be unconscious to some extent or it could be quite
4:41
cognitive for them. So know that what you are doing
4:46
in being empathetic and accepting with unconditional
4:49
positive regard is very likely a complete difference to what the
4:55
child has experienced in the past often.
4:58
And you are literally rewiring their brain in that moment by
5:01
having a different experience, by not being questioned, by not
5:04
being made to do things. So there is the learning, there
5:07
is the shift. And when we stay patient and
5:10
completely trust the child that when they are given this space
5:15
from Roger's theory of practise as well, they will want to move
5:19
towards self actualization because they don't want to feel
5:22
this way. They truly don't.
5:23
They don't want to be unhappy, they don't want to be shut down.
5:26
They don't want to be miserable. They actually want to be happy.
5:29
So giving them that space is far more powerful than anything we
5:34
could teach in, in our view as CCPT practitioners.
5:38
So you may also have that internal dialogue of should I be
5:41
doing more? And the answer is no, let me
5:44
just help you out. I just got it to the chase
5:47
really quickly. No, no, because again, it is non
5:51
directive. It is relationship based.
5:54
We believe in the capacity of the child if given the space to
5:56
do so, given a supportive space to do so and they will do it.
6:00
We just need to give them time. And so we need to push back on
6:04
that anxiety from ourselves, from stakeholders, from parents
6:06
and caregivers that we just need to give kids a minute.
6:10
So should I be doing more? No Am I being too passive?
6:14
Often times that can be the case.
6:16
I think that what I would say in response to that question is
6:21
maybe a little bit around acknowledging if you have become
6:24
too much of an observer and not necessarily working in any way
6:31
to connect with the child. That's probably the only time.
6:34
So when I give you this question around or if this comes up in
6:38
your inner dialogue of am I being too passive?
6:40
Sometimes that can feel like I'm, I'm not doing enough?
6:43
Am I just kind of sitting? And so it doesn't necessarily
6:47
mean that you need to jump in and start putting in returning
6:50
responsibility skills or esteem building skills or reflecting
6:53
feeling skills. That's not necessarily what I'm
6:55
talking about, but more around does the child feel that sense
6:59
of interest from you? Do they feel like you are
7:02
connecting with them but letting them tell their story in their
7:05
way? So what's the easiest skill to
7:07
do that? That we know from our training
7:09
tracking essentially, so we can still be active by doing that
7:14
tracking without needing to be involved in the play.
7:17
So and a final question that we might have internally to
7:20
ourselves is what if the parents expect something different?
7:26
This feels like a whole other podcast on another day.
7:28
And I just want to say as a parent as well, any parents
7:31
listening right now, I want to send you guys so much love
7:34
because parenting in the trenches right now is not for
7:36
the faint hearted, for reals, for reals.
7:40
We are all having a tough time. And so I just want to
7:44
acknowledge that. But as play therapist in the
7:46
playroom, we can feel that pressure from parents.
7:49
And I think that again going back to my earlier conversation
7:53
around really acknowledging how kids process things, communicate
7:58
through play need a little bit of time.
8:02
We need to trust the process is very much those conversations
8:06
that we need to be having with parents every four to six weeks
8:08
so that we can really hold that space for children in the
8:11
playroom and not necessarily feel that pressure.
8:13
If we are feeling that pressure, again, as I said earlier in this
8:18
episode, it may be more about what's happening for the parent
8:21
in that space where they are just really struggling and
8:24
having a really tough time. And so that really shifts the
8:27
work that we do away from putting that pressure on the
8:30
child to start to kick goals in therapy and start making some
8:33
progress because it's not about the child.
8:36
And we talk about that in the playroom, right, in terms of
8:39
reflections not being about us as a therapist either, because
8:41
it's not about us. It's the child's process and the
8:44
child's agenda. But it's about maybe as a
8:46
sidestep while we're doing that work in the playroom, connecting
8:49
with the parents to offer them some support along the way as
8:52
well working holistically as opposed to feeling like I need
8:56
to be kicking goals in the playroom.
8:58
And I say kicking goals as a very kind of like Australian
9:00
term. So I hope that that makes sense
9:02
to all of my international listeners.
9:04
But really it's about being really successful feeling like
9:07
it, you know? And that's not something that we
9:10
necessarily need to hold that pressure on ourselves in the
9:14
playroom as CCPT practitioners. So the paradox here, I guess, is
9:20
really around the fact that the more you try to control the
9:23
process, the less therapeutic it becomes.
9:27
I'm with all the truths, hard truths today.
9:32
OK. So when I'm saying that, let me
9:34
repeat that back to you again. The more you try to control the
9:37
process, the less therapeutic it becomes from a CCPT lens.
9:43
So it's not about us having control, directing the play,
9:48
providing a structure of outcomes that we expect the
9:51
child to do, responding to requests from the parent to do
9:56
certain activities in the playroom.
9:57
That comes up all the time as well.
10:00
And one of the things I've been saying to supervisors recently
10:02
is the fact that we need to acknowledge for most parents,
10:08
there might be some that have, but for most parents, they
10:10
haven't done training in CCPT. So we actually have that
10:14
experience and qualifications behind us that puts us in that
10:19
space of being able to share. This is part of of my
10:23
qualifications. This is what I do.
10:26
And so let me explain to you how this works so that we aren't
10:29
feeling like we need to go into the playroom and do something
10:32
different. When you feel like you're,
10:36
you're pushed towards changing your CCPT practise to something
10:41
that might be more directive or might be a different approach or
10:44
a different theory. You've stepped outside of CCPT.
10:48
And that so much is about your own self doubt and your imposter
10:51
syndrome as opposed to what's happening for the child in the
10:54
playroom. Because we know there's the
10:56
empirical evidence space behind what we're doing, right?
10:58
That that goes without saying. So what is it about for us
11:02
personally as practitioners where we feel like we're in this
11:04
moment of needing to change things?
11:06
So very often I talk about for beginning play therapists,
11:10
there's often this leaning towards early discharge because
11:14
we're feeling like maybe we're not having, we don't have those
11:17
particular skills or we feel like maybe there needs to be a
11:19
different approach. And again, it's really about
11:22
leaning into what is our principles for practise and what
11:25
are we here to do? It's to build that relationship
11:27
and to connect with the child 1st and the the outcomes in the
11:30
therapeutic work will come. So really kind of holding back
11:33
into what are our core principles, CCPT, CCPT really
11:39
does ask us to trust in the child's inner drive towards
11:42
growth. So if you feel like you've lost
11:45
that belief, I would start there in refocusing your practise.
11:49
If you feel like you don't necessarily connect well with
11:54
that understanding around children leading and driving
11:59
that growth, definitely exploring that and unpacking
12:03
that in clinical supervision because maybe there's a few
12:06
factors there that are in influencing that.
12:09
So like I talked about earlier, some of those things about
12:12
comparison to others, it could be that you are actually
12:15
fatigued and burnt out yourself and need a break.
12:18
Like hello, I'm in Hawaii because a break is a good idea,
12:22
you guys a good idea. But I do feel like that anxiety
12:25
comes in when we are probably depleted a little bit, when
12:29
we're doubting ourselves and when we don't have that
12:32
confidence in ourselves that CCPT will work and it will be an
12:36
effective modality that's evidence based.
12:39
So we also deeply believe in, as I've talked about earlier, the
12:43
relationship as the agent of change.
12:47
So the three things in CCPT that are true that we know is the
12:51
inner drive of the child towards growth, that the relationship is
12:56
the agent of change, and it's more important to have presents
13:00
over technique. I feel like you're going to put
13:03
all of these on AT shirt. You guys for reals.
13:07
Presents over technique, man. I can't say that any more
13:10
heartfelt to each of you listening because if you are
13:13
able to just be present and hear the story of a child, you have
13:17
done far more than probably most other therapists have done in
13:21
that space with that child because that's what they deeply
13:23
seek is that validation, connection and feeling seen and
13:26
heard. As Garland Truth would say, I
13:29
hear you, I see you, I understand and I care.
13:33
So Virginia Excellent told us that when a child is accepted
13:36
fully, then they naturally move towards that self direction and
13:41
self regulation when they feel fully accepted.
13:44
That's what Virginia Excellent told us.
13:46
That can feel invisible in the moment, but it's deeply
13:49
powerful. So it's not tangible.
13:51
It doesn't kind of come in some sort of verbal reflection from
13:56
the child where they're like, I feel fully accepted, yay.
13:59
I mean, that doesn't happen. It would be so nice though,
14:02
sometimes when we're working with those really like tricky
14:05
kids, right? I mean, like, I just need a
14:07
sign. I just need a sign.
14:10
Even then, if you're feeling that way, connect with your
14:13
clinical supervisor because I think sometimes having an
14:15
objective kind of third the perspective out of, you know,
14:19
the child, you as a therapist and then the Super supervisor,
14:22
having that third party to kind of look at it and go, you're
14:25
actually making a lot of progress here.
14:27
It feels like Groundhog Day, but it's not because here is here's
14:30
some of those firsts that you've shared with me.
14:32
So just getting that perspective is really helpful.
14:34
So how do we reframe self doubt? I've been trying to kind of
14:37
weave that into our conversations already here, but
14:40
let's do this a little bit more intentionally.
14:43
How can I help you guys listening?
14:45
And I'm also listening while I'm talking, Guys, the imposter
14:49
syndrome comes all the time, comes all the time.
14:53
And that's why I say to other supervisees, that's because it
14:56
means so much to you, this approach, because I know how
14:59
much it means to me as well. So how can I help you?
15:02
OK, shift from evaluating to observing.
15:05
So if you notice yourself thinking I'm not doing enough
15:09
shift to tracking because then you can really kind of stay
15:13
attuned and and really live in our principles of CCPT, that the
15:19
relationship is the agent of change and that your presence is
15:22
so much more important than the technique.
15:24
So shifting away if you are feeling like you're not doing
15:28
enough to very much doing that tracking is the first step.
15:33
Anchor into the child's pace. So CCPT unfolds slowly as you
15:38
guys know, it's at the pace of the child.
15:40
We can't speed up that process. It is not going to work.
15:43
It's not going to be long term sustainable change if we try and
15:46
speed it up quickly potentially for the expectations of
15:49
stakeholders outside of the playroom.
15:51
So more than anything else, anchor yourself in the child's
15:55
pace of trusting the child's timing, even if it feels like
16:00
it's it's slowed for you. So trust the child's timing.
16:05
As I've said throughout this podcast, return to our core
16:09
principles. You guys again, putting it on AT
16:12
shirt, put it up on your whiteboard.
16:14
I don't know, feel like we need a sticker to put on the car or
16:18
something. As a daily reminder, what do we
16:21
do as CCPT practitioners to effect change?
16:24
It is with our unconditional positive regard.
16:26
We do not accept the child just when they are achieving goals, I
16:33
guess, or achieving outcomes in play therapy.
16:35
That's not the only time that we accept them.
16:37
We accept them for who they are every single time we connect
16:40
with them. So going back to the
16:42
relationship, genuineness, empathetic, understanding and
16:47
providing that safe space for them when they're ready to talk
16:50
about the things that are really tough.
16:52
We often say that play therapy for children is like talk talk
16:55
therapy for adults. And if you lean into, I guess
16:58
any of your own experiences of going to a therapist as an
17:00
adult, we know how much we can unpack in a session and what
17:05
what is too deep for us to go to straight away.
17:08
And so it is exactly the same process for kids.
17:10
They know too. They know how much they're
17:13
willing to kind of unpack and what they need to kind of hold
17:15
closer until they're ready to do it.
17:18
So that's really, really important.
17:20
So these are absolutely your non negotiables of that empathy,
17:26
congruence and unconditional positive regard.
17:29
So when you feel like you're slipping, when that imposter
17:31
syndrome feels like it's coming in, lean back into that because
17:35
that will give you something to ground you until you feel like
17:38
you're back on track again. And I often say that when we
17:42
start to really doubt ourselves, when it feels like each week is
17:45
the same kind of cycle over and over, that that is Gen usually
17:50
generally when the child is about to shift.
17:53
So it's really again, about that Freudian kind of transference
17:56
and counter transference space that we live in, that when we're
17:58
picking up on some of that emotion, that it really is a
18:01
great indicator that something's about to shift as well.
18:03
So holding that in mind to remember that your presence is
18:08
intervention. This is absolutely my most
18:13
favourite thing to say, right? Because we really, really,
18:16
really don't value enough how much us being in the room and
18:23
seeing and hearing children changes their world because
18:26
maybe outside of play therapy, they've never had that
18:28
experience before, which is huge.
18:32
So we can never underestimate how powerful of an impact that
18:35
can be. So when we are regulated, we're
18:38
able to give that gift to the child of that opportunity to Co
18:43
regulate and have that emotional safety, which again, especially
18:47
for our kids in say foster care or have experienced trauma,
18:50
complex trauma, you know, maybe something that hasn't always
18:53
happened to them. So you don't have to do more.
18:57
You need to be with. Oh, I want to put that on AT
19:01
shirt. There is so many quotes, you
19:03
guys. I hope you're writing these
19:04
down. I hope we can put these
19:06
somewhere so that it can sort of stay and hold true for you guys
19:10
because this is what it's about. This is why this is such an
19:14
effective modality. This is why this is an evidence
19:16
based intervention because you don't have to do more.
19:20
You need to be with. So be with go back to being
19:25
grounded and present and accepting in the playroom and
19:28
and wait to see what comes out. So potentially for yourself, it
19:32
might be that you need to, if you notice that you're starting
19:35
to become anxious or those questions are starting to come
19:37
up in the moment in the playroom, grounding yourself.
19:41
Oh my God. I think there is like a plane
19:43
flying past right now. You guys.
19:45
I am so sorry. I don't know if the mic is
19:46
picking it up. Oh no, it's a helicopter.
19:49
Thanks mate. Great, amazing.
19:51
He didn't realise I was recording.
19:52
Obviously we are near obviously in Hawaii there is AI believe
19:58
there's a military base. We just passed when we went to
20:00
breakfast this morning at a museum, military museum.
20:04
And when we flew in there was a whole bunch of military aircraft
20:09
at the airport. But there's also planes that
20:12
like to fly past. So apologies guys, I got off
20:15
track, but I'm getting back on track.
20:16
OK. So you may have a grounding
20:19
technique that you like to do. I definitely like to do my
20:22
breathing techniques of kind of four breaths in, hold for eight,
20:26
blow out for seven. I think it is, I feel like I'm
20:28
out of said this in a previous broadcast and I still haven't
20:30
actually worked out the numbers exactly.
20:32
So one day I will get that right.
20:34
But anyway, breathing technique is good.
20:36
What I have in the playroom is my fluffy rug.
20:39
So for me, sitting on the rug, really kind of putting, you
20:43
know, the rug between my fingers and really just physically
20:46
grounding myself, having that sensory experience really does
20:50
help me focus. So there might just be something
20:52
for you that you need to do if you start to feel that sense of
20:56
imposter syndrome or anxiety for sure.
20:59
Wah. So what I want to say before I
21:04
wrap up this podcast today is imposter syndrome comes and goes
21:10
throughout your career. And I feel like it's one of
21:12
those things that people talk about all the time, but don't
21:16
necessarily then talk about those practical steps in therapy
21:20
to bring yourself back to the modality that you're using.
21:22
So I hope that this podcast has really reminded you of some of
21:25
those key principles for you to be able to truly grant yourself
21:29
and be able to stay true to the modality and to be able to do
21:33
the incredible and important work of CCPT.
21:36
I definitely have so many example.
21:38
Look, I have too many examples to share, I guess of how
21:41
imposter syndrome come, has come and gone in my practise over the
21:44
last 10 years, 10 1/2 years. But what I will say is when it
21:49
does come up, and it probably the last time I can think of was
21:52
a couple of months ago, and I've shared with a few supervisors
21:55
this very general example. So again, this is very general
21:59
for the purposes of this discussion and certainly I'm de
22:02
identified in terms of client material.
22:04
But what I will share, I guess, is that I had an experience a
22:09
couple of months ago in the playroom where I was working
22:12
with an older child. So again, I won't share any
22:15
details, but in working in that space.
22:18
And I think that sometimes play therapists can truly start to
22:20
feel that imposter syndrome when we're not necessarily working
22:23
with two and three year olds. But when you start to move out
22:26
of our or moving towards the outer end of our age range that
22:30
we can really start to doubt ourselves.
22:31
And is this actually working or do they need more talk based
22:33
therapy? So if that is you, even 10 half
22:37
years down the line, I see you. I see you because I've been
22:40
there and sometimes routinely go back and I am truly CCPT to my
22:45
course. So if it happens to me, it can
22:48
happen to anyone right? But in this particular example I
22:52
found myself leaning towards more open ended questions.
22:56
I am also a registered counsellor and Master's in
22:59
counselling and psychotherapy. So I found myself leaning into
23:02
that person centred space, but more in an adult domain I guess,
23:06
or framework, which is very rare for me.
23:09
But what I found in that moment when I leaned into that was the
23:13
response from the client was that they were not interested at
23:16
all. They did not want to talk, they
23:18
did not want to talk. And I was feeling that anxiety,
23:22
feeling like things weren't changing, feeling like nothing
23:25
was happening in the session, feeling like I was doing not a
23:28
great job. And so in terms of stress, we'll
23:31
go back to what we know. And I leaned into some open
23:33
ended questions and got no responses from the client at
23:37
all. Like none.
23:38
And instead, this client then proceeded to play out what they
23:43
were struggling with. And I remember after the
23:46
session, after the client left, I sat to do my case notes and I
23:50
walked myself through the session of what had happened in
23:52
terms of the different sequences of play to do my case note.
23:55
And I, I sat there and I went. That's what that's what they
23:58
were trying to tell me. But OK, great.
24:00
Because in the moment when I'm in the trenches of that session,
24:05
I'm doubting myself. I'm kind of like, it doesn't
24:08
feel like it's going anywhere. Pretty sure they're not getting
24:11
anything out of it. Pretty sure this is a waste of
24:14
everyone's time. So if you've had those, those
24:17
thoughts, like earlier kind of questions I gave you, but those
24:20
as well, that's common. But what I realised is that kids
24:26
will bring you back to this way of working.
24:28
And how amazingly cool is that? And like expanding on that a
24:33
little bit, what an incredible gift that kids give us of that
24:37
patience of us as well. So for that particular client
24:41
and other clients I know I've worked with, we are they've
24:45
patiently waited for me to get back on track as a CCPT
24:48
practitioner so they can get on with telling the story.
24:51
They're kind of like, are you done?
24:52
Are you done? Can we can we go back to playing
24:54
now? Great, thanks.
24:56
And I'm kind of like, oh man, thank you for that.
24:59
Oh my God, there goes another plane.
25:00
I'm so sorry, guys, far out. Yes, I find that even though
25:09
children haven't done CCPT training, so they don't know
25:12
what CCPT is all about, they will very much be connected to
25:19
play because that's their natural mode of communication
25:22
and that's how they want to tell their story and that's how they
25:24
want to process their feelings. And if we try to kind of deviate
25:28
from that and go to more towards more directive approaches or
25:31
structured activities or questions or talk based work,
25:35
they will wait for us to finish and then go back and get back
25:41
into telling the story. And that client recently, a
25:44
couple months ago really reminded me of that.
25:45
And I was like, that is such an incredible gift.
25:47
And I'm so grateful. I'm so, so grateful because that
25:49
really did help me to deepen my practise and remind myself that
25:55
when I'm feeling like that, that what the child really needs is
25:57
my presence and that relationship.
26:00
And they need time. Because so many of our kids
26:03
outside of play therapy, just to kind of normalise this at a kind
26:06
of a macro level, so many of our kids in our communities are so
26:10
stressed out, struggling really, really hard.
26:16
And there goes another plane. I swear it's like 220 here.
26:21
So I don't know, maybe it's flight hour far out.
26:24
I am so sorry, guys. Yeah, there goes another
26:26
helicopter. Amazing.
26:27
Children in the playroom definitely want that connection
26:32
more than anything else because potentially outside they've not
26:35
received that as consistently as they do in the playroom.
26:37
So they truly value it. And that's why we get that
26:40
feedback time and time again that out of all of the
26:43
interventions, especially in the disability space for here in
26:45
Australia, that children want to go to play therapy where they
26:49
don't necessarily want to for other therapies, right?
26:52
So we know that because they feel truly seen and heard and
26:57
they feel validated and they feel connected and they have a
27:00
safe space to be themselves and they get so much healing and
27:04
outcomes done when we offer that space.
27:07
So I'm normalising that for all of you.
27:10
I see you absolutely. And I want to just kind of
27:13
summarise before I head off to the pool.
27:17
You guys, man, it's been such a good week.
27:21
I want to normalise this. OK, So what is those takeaways
27:25
that I want you guys to listen to?
27:26
You ready? Got a pen and paper?
27:28
Where are we going to put this? Somewhere in the podcast?
27:30
I'm not sure, but here we go. You are not meant to fix.
27:34
You are meant to be present. I put all of these on a T-shirt.
27:39
You are not meant to fix. And when I say that you're not
27:42
meant to fix kids, you are meant to be present with them.
27:45
Slowness is not failure. It's part of the process.
27:53
Consistency. Consistency and predictability
27:57
creates safety. So what you are doing in those
28:01
repetitive sessions where you're just trying to help regulate and
28:04
build that sense of safety, sorry, regulate to help bring
28:08
that child down to baseline as much as you can, is actually
28:11
creating a safe space for kids, which is exactly what they need
28:14
to be able to heal. You don't need to interpret
28:18
everything. Let me say that again for the
28:20
people at the back, you don't need to interpret everything.
28:26
It's the child's journey in their way, how they want to tell
28:29
it, and we are there to facilitate that space, to give
28:33
yourself that grace and take that pressure off.
28:37
Impulsive feelings mean you care and are reflective.
28:41
Like I said earlier, it means that you care about the work
28:44
that you're doing and so that's incredible.
28:47
Growth in CCPT is relational, not behavioural.
28:51
Oh, I don't know if I said that right.
28:52
Let me say that again. Growth in CCPT is relational,
28:56
not behavioural. Oh, I'm having trouble saying
28:59
behavioural. It's not behaviour.
29:04
So let me offer you a simple mantra to think about.
29:10
Well, there's been so many things, right?
29:13
To remember that the relationship is the agent of
29:16
change. Presence is more important than
29:21
technique. Yeah.
29:24
And to ask yourself, am I safe? Am I attuned?
29:29
Am I accepting? Am I present?
29:32
Then great. You're doing CCPT.
29:35
Amazing. Keep going.
29:37
Because as we say in play therapy, when we're doing those
29:40
esteem building statements, you've got this.
29:42
And I genuinely from a heartfelt space here, want to say that to
29:47
anyone who's feeling that imposter syndrome right now is I
29:50
absolutely believe in you. And you've got this.
29:54
You've really got this. Oh, that is my episode on
29:58
imposter syndrome, you guys. I hope that has been helpful and
30:03
useful. That is always my intention.
30:05
Like I said to you guys, I'm going to go to the pool.
30:09
I realised who I say I had a beautiful colleague who I
30:13
absolutely adore who pointed this out to me a little while
30:16
ago that I say pool in school. So for those of you
30:20
internationally listening, that is a very kind of Australian
30:23
kind of twang to my my language. So apologies.
30:29
I don't know how to change it. I'm 42 now and I don't think I'm
30:31
going to learn a different way to say it.
30:33
That is how I say it. I'm going to go have a swim,
30:36
that's probably a better one. We are going to head home on
30:40
Saturday and then I will be back next week.
30:42
We are then officially in December and Christmas season.
30:45
You guys, what? I feel like there needs to be
30:49
some sort of Christmas earrings happening or continuation of
30:53
Christmas nails for those of you watching on YouTube.
30:56
So I will make sure that I continue the festive vibes in
31:00
December. But for all of you listening,
31:04
more than anything else, I'm sending so much love to each and
31:06
everyone of you. I am so proud of everyone that
31:09
is serving as CCPT practitioners in therapy spaces where you are
31:13
working right now. You are doing incredible and
31:16
hearing and holding children's stories is what it's all about.
31:19
And what an incredible gift that is for us to be able to do so.
31:23
I'm really proud of you guys. You've got this.
31:25
You've absolutely got this. I'm going to go to the pool.
31:28
Yes, pool and next week I have no idea what our topics going to
31:32
be. I've got like a whole list.
31:34
I'm in. I'm on island time right now, so
31:36
I will check and make sure I record next week.
31:39
Please, please, please, please reach out if you've got ideas,
31:42
if you would like to connect with us, especially we're
31:45
planning all their topics for next year.
31:47
So anyone who would like to come on the podcast, I'm starting to
31:50
think about people I might interview next year, which will
31:53
be so exciting. Our podcast is just growing
31:56
massively. So, so excited and thrilled to
32:00
continue this next year. All things CCPT.
32:03
So please reach out to us at hello@playtherapycircle.com.
32:06
And that's our email. Check out our social media, the
32:10
Playtherapy Circle podcast. We are on Facebook, Instagram
32:13
and TikTok, so please check us out there as well.
32:17
Please look after each other and yourselves.
32:19
Take care of you and I will see you next week on the podcast.
32:24
Go well, lots of love to all of you and have a great rest of
32:28
your week. Hi, thank you so much for being
32:35
here for another episode of The Play Therapy Circle.
32:39
If anything resonated with you today, I'd love it if you could
32:42
follow the podcast, share it with a colleague, or leave a
32:46
short review. It really helps others find our
32:48
circle. And if you have a topic or
32:50
question you'd love me to explore, I'd love to hear from
32:53
you. This space is for you and I want
32:57
it to feel like a conversation. Until next time, take care of
33:01
yourself and remember you belong here.