Latest / Presentation Thinking / #217. Montana von Fliss moves millions by finding her “one”
Transcript
- 0:20Welcome back to Presentation Thinking, the Storyteller Study
- 0:25Club podcast that explores all the things at the arts, the
- 0:29science, the strategy, the craft of of Better Business
- 0:33storytelling. And today, there's no one better
- 0:36to have on than my one of my favorite people on earth, one of
- 0:40my favorite presentation thinkers, Montana Von Fliss,
- 0:43internationally recognized keynote speaker, communication
- 0:46coach to the executives, big companies, and what 2025's most
- 0:52watched Ted X of of that year. What Montana?
- 0:56Welcome to the show. Thank you.
- 0:59Yes, all of those things are true.
- 1:01As wild as that seems, it still blows my mind that all of those
- 1:08things are true. And I do know they're true
- 1:11because I was there and I'm loving every minute of it so.
- 1:14Yes. Thank you for that introduction
- 1:16you've. Probably been busy ever since
- 1:18every time I look at your Ted talk, there's like a new million
- 1:22views on it. I know, which is nuts.
- 1:25It's wow. It's and and so so do you want
- 1:29to tell us? Yeah.
- 1:30Like so the title is how to be confident even if you're not
- 1:33right. You got it.
- 1:35OK, Can you we'll dive right into that because like you're,
- 1:39you're a famous Ted talker and I would love to hear what that's
- 1:42done for you. Like, is it what you thought it
- 1:44would be? And yeah, like, tell us what
- 1:47that whole what it's like to to do something viral like that and
- 1:50so helpful to so many people. Sure.
- 1:53I, I mean, and I'm still sort of experiencing it, you know, it,
- 1:56it's still in the process of viraling.
- 2:01That's not a verb, but we're just going to make it right now.
- 2:04I don't even know if it is technically viral, but it's
- 2:07still gaining views and, or so I'm told.
- 2:10I don't, I don't look at it anymore because I don't have to,
- 2:14but I, yeah, it is wild. The, the short answer is it's a
- 2:20very wild experience and different, certainly different
- 2:25than I expected. And I'll tell you that, you
- 2:27know, I said yes to doing the experience because what a great
- 2:31opportunity. Of course, I, I, I want to share
- 2:35my ideas. I want to help more people.
- 2:37That is my #1 core value with what I do.
- 2:41I want to help more people. So I was like, does it fit?
- 2:43Yes, it fits that. So we're saying yes.
- 2:46And at the same time, I was pretty scared, I'm going to be
- 2:51honest. Like that was my biggest stage
- 2:55pretty much up until that moment.
- 2:57I mean, I've had larger crowds, but the, the, the opportunity, I
- 3:04would say, you know, and that platform is probably the biggest
- 3:08I have ever done. And, and so it got all the old
- 3:13scary thoughts revved up and running like, Oh no, what if,
- 3:17what if, you know, catastrophe, disaster, Yikes.
- 3:20And so I had to do all of the work that I that I'm offering to
- 3:26others about how do you appear confident even if you're not
- 3:29feeling it right for that very talk.
- 3:33It was so meta, so meta. That's.
- 3:35What I was going to ask if like it's some it's got to be some
- 3:38added pressure, you know, which I feel like anytime I go present
- 3:42about presentations and I'm thinking like this better be
- 3:45damn good, you know, And so I think you had to you were
- 3:48walking the walk and you you sort of had to.
- 3:51I really painted myself into a corner on this one.
- 3:54Like he, I was like, what did I do?
- 3:57I, I basically am up there saying, you know, here's how to
- 4:01look confident no matter what. And I'm like, but what if they
- 4:03see me shaking? What if you know what I mean?
- 4:06All those voices, all those thoughts and worries came in.
- 4:09And in fact, you know, the only, the only good news is that by
- 4:12now I'm used to it. Like I have felt whatever word
- 4:17you want to put on it, performance anxiety,
- 4:19nervousness, fear of public speaking, whatever you want to
- 4:24call it, I've had it since the first time I stepped on stage as
- 4:28a kid. Now what I think the benefit of
- 4:32that is, is that I've just had a lot more time and a lot more
- 4:36times at bat to try different things and sort of figure out
- 4:41something that helps me to manage through that.
- 4:45And so that's I had to apply all that and it is in the Ted Talk
- 4:50like that. Those steps are all there.
- 4:53Plus I added a few things to the recipe to enhance the the
- 4:59recipe. I really did.
- 5:01And that maybe I'll have to tell that in my, you know, next Ted
- 5:05talk or I can share it with you right now.
- 5:07But it's, I just want to say I was expecting for it to be crazy
- 5:13and you know, a lot of pressure and, and it certainly was.
- 5:17And I did all the work to work on that, which I can happily
- 5:20tell you about. But also about the views thing,
- 5:23I just want to say real quick because I don't know, I don't
- 5:26think that's even the most important part.
- 5:28I did not in my wildest dreams think that it would get this
- 5:32many views. You want to know the only
- 5:34thought I ever had about the number of views?
- 5:37Well, two thoughts. One thought was, oh, Ted Talks
- 5:40are so ubiquitous now. Like, you know what I mean?
- 5:43There's no way that it could hit the jet stream, but I still want
- 5:48to do it. I still want to share it.
- 5:50It'll still look cool on my website.
- 5:52Like, you know, I want to help people.
- 5:54And here we go. And then the second thought I
- 5:56had prior, I think was something like, I just hope it's not an
- 6:00embarrassingly low number of views, you know, like 300. 21.
- 6:06Number my my friends and family, the people who were at my
- 6:09wedding, you know what I mean? Like.
- 6:13That would no. That's the only thought I had.
- 6:16So the fact that it's gotten all these numbers, I can tell you
- 6:19sort of what has happened from that.
- 6:20Totally didn't expect it. I couldn't even.
- 6:23And it's different than I would have if, if I had thought, oh,
- 6:26what if it hits the millions? I think it would have been in my
- 6:30head prior. It would have been different to
- 6:32what it is in reality. So where do you want to go next?
- 6:37Do you want to hear my secret sauce for how I got through the
- 6:40hardest one or do you want to go towards the views thing?
- 6:46The views. Thing is like, it's kind of
- 6:49interesting, but let's just say it doesn't do your taxes or
- 6:53babysit your kids. It doesn't have all your
- 6:55problems. That's the short.
- 6:56Answer right, right. And I guess it, it speaks to
- 6:59maybe it shows like I'm curious if you think more people should
- 7:04not necessarily pursue a Ted talk, but should pursue a stage.
- 7:08You know, like, I think there's especially post COVID maybe, but
- 7:13young, young professionals, maybe people who have had that
- 7:18fear of public speaking ever since speech class, maybe just
- 7:21have avoided it at all costs. But I've seen it.
- 7:26I'm sure you've seen it. But like what what is the value
- 7:28in general of putting yourself out there sharing those
- 7:31thoughts? You know, you've seen it to a
- 7:33big, a big extent, but I'm sure you've seen it through your
- 7:36other your clients as well. Well, there's so much value, but
- 7:40let me just say also, if you don't want to do it, you don't
- 7:45have to do it. You, you get to decide, OK,
- 7:49let's just be real clear about this.
- 7:51You get to make the choice of whether you wish to do it or
- 7:54not. And I think that's important to
- 7:57remember that you always have choice, OK?
- 7:59Even when it's like your boss telling you, I just want you to
- 8:03remember you always have choice. Because if you explore a little
- 8:07bit like it, do I actually wish to do this?
- 8:10Even if it scares me more than anything, Do I actually wish to
- 8:13do this for some reason or another?
- 8:15If you're able to find that reason, that is the most
- 8:20powerful thing that you can use to your advantage to get
- 8:24yourself up in front of that stage and execute to the best of
- 8:27your ability, truly. So that's a good place to start.
- 8:30Like you don't have to do anything, but if you do want to
- 8:35like find that little kernel and hold on, hold on to that little
- 8:39spark and blow on it. Make it into the fire.
- 8:42That will like help you get onto that stage.
- 8:45The value, I mean, I've seen so many values, I've seen so many
- 8:50people. And and of course, the most
- 8:52delicious, satisfying stories are the ones who are like the
- 8:56people who are the most afraid to do it or like, I've never
- 8:59done this before. And then you see them up in
- 9:01front of 2000 of, of their peers, you know, at their
- 9:06internal company conference, like in front of a bunch of
- 9:09salespeople who are, you know, tough customers and rocking that
- 9:14stage when like a couple months before when, when they told me
- 9:18like Montana, I don't think I can even stand up in a meeting.
- 9:21And then you see them getting up there and doing that like the
- 9:26what that does. Like I'm thinking of one person
- 9:30in particular and what that did for herself, herself, esteem
- 9:35her, her feeling, you know, like she she walked off that stage
- 9:39and she goes Montana. I think I can do anything.
- 9:42And I'm like, that's right, you know, And that's, that's like
- 9:46gold, right? That carries outside it beyond
- 9:49the job, right? Like, yeah, impacts your
- 9:51personal life. Absolutely.
- 9:52And then, you know, of course, we also know, we've seen it
- 9:57right in whatever. No, it doesn't matter what your
- 9:59career is in. I work a lot in tech, but I've
- 10:03seen this in other realms too. When I work with attorneys or,
- 10:08you know, doctors, whatever field I have encountered, I have
- 10:12noticed that if you work on your own personal skills around
- 10:17communication and presentation, public speaking skills, it will
- 10:22help you advance your career. Period.
- 10:25It just does. I mean, again, I don't think I
- 10:28have to enumerate that. If you're listening, you, you
- 10:30know, you've seen that and you know, and.
- 10:33I think we're lying to ourselves if we think it won't.
- 10:35I think it's just like in a you just come to that term at some
- 10:39point in your career when you see others maybe accelerating
- 10:43and you're, you know, and you put two and two together and it,
- 10:47I keep feeling like it's all we have left now.
- 10:49I think it'll become even more valuable now.
- 10:52Yeah, right. It's easy to build.
- 10:54It's easy to do those hard skill things now, like that's leveled
- 10:58out a bit. Yeah.
- 10:59So this softer stuff, the communication stuff.
- 11:02OK Montana, is it a hard skill or a soft skill?
- 11:04Is that a debate? Does it even matter?
- 11:07Well, you know, I mean, I'm sure there is the actual dictionary
- 11:12definition. Put it under soft skill I
- 11:14suppose. Because it's not, for example,
- 11:17it's not knowing how to program a computer or, or, you know,
- 11:21something that they consider a hard skill for a particular job.
- 11:25But the thing that that bothers me about it is just that I think
- 11:29the word soft, you know, gives it this sort of, it weakens the
- 11:36yeah, like it. And I think it is actually just
- 11:41as important in in a lot of ways as many of the hard skills.
- 11:46And and I know everybody can debate about that.
- 11:48OK, find me. We'll debate about that another
- 11:51time. But like truly, you know, most
- 11:54jobs that I have seen have needed things like, you know,
- 12:01being able to communicate to your Co workers, being able to
- 12:05talk to leadership, being able to talk to the team through a
- 12:10difficult patch. How do you get through this
- 12:12together? These are not just through
- 12:14emails, right? These are there's that and that
- 12:18by the way, that's communication too, right?
- 12:22There is still a lot of humans needing to talk to other humans
- 12:28do make all of these things happen, right?
- 12:31And and I think when that gets undervalued, it's it's really to
- 12:35your own detriment, unfortunately.
- 12:37But but we don't have to go there.
- 12:38We can go to like, hey, look at all the benefits.
- 12:41Look at how fun it is. Look at how good you feel when
- 12:45you go. I'm really going to invest in
- 12:47this. And I don't mean hiring a coach.
- 12:49You could hire a coach, you could hire me.
- 12:52But you, you also don't have to. You could decide I'm going to
- 12:58work on this and on your own. You could, OK, you have a
- 13:03presentation coming up next week.
- 13:05Or even let's say it's just an update to the team.
- 13:07Let's make it even lower stakes. Start with the lower stakes
- 13:10thing on your calendar or agenda.
- 13:12But what if you decide I'm going to spend 15 minutes every day
- 13:17practicing for that moment? And you literally like stand up.
- 13:25I just think there's more energy when you stand up.
- 13:27You don't have to. But get in your office, you turn
- 13:31on Zoom or whatever virtual platform you use, and it's just
- 13:36you. But you imagine your audience
- 13:38there. And then you speak through your
- 13:41piece, whether it's 2 minutes or 15 minutes, whether it's a big
- 13:45stakes or a low stakes item, you speak it through out loud as if
- 13:49the audience is there. Right away you'll start to
- 13:52learn, oh wait, I need better speaker notes or I need to place
- 13:56them in a place where I can see them.
- 13:59If you do that every day, every day, it will teach you what you
- 14:06need to do and what it needs to be and what you need to execute
- 14:12it like that or as much as you can like that on the day.
- 14:16Then you'll start to notice. And especially if you start to
- 14:18get a little bored with that good, now it's time to shake it
- 14:22up. What if I played with emphasis?
- 14:25What if I made friends with the pause?
- 14:28Like really land a point and then pause like a boss?
- 14:33What if I did that one time? You can do that.
- 14:37You're more likely to do that if you've done it a couple times in
- 14:40your little mini rehearsals on your own.
- 14:42Just put them on your calendar. Do that now on the day it it
- 14:47might go a little differently still than you and it and it you
- 14:51know, by the way, I think it always does.
- 14:54Every moment is different, OK, And that is reality, right?
- 14:59But when you have some of these supports, like you have more
- 15:02familiarity, you've built a little safety in your system
- 15:05through doing it a little bit every day.
- 15:09And you know what? Don't tell me you don't have 15
- 15:12minutes. You do before you brush your
- 15:15teeth. Have you done your intro?
- 15:17If not, put down your toothbrush.
- 15:18Think of me and put down your toothbrush and just run your
- 15:23intro right there three times. Run it in the shower.
- 15:27Run it when you're, you know, exercising or cooking a meal,
- 15:30doing the dishes like you have the time.
- 15:34You just feel uncomfortable and doing it and that's why you're
- 15:38not doing it. But you do want to get over it
- 15:40because that is the way to get better at it.
- 15:46And you can do that completely for free and on your own.
- 15:50Now I just want to say real quick, if you're feeling some
- 15:53resistance around that, just want you to think real quick.
- 15:58Can you imagine, let's say the World Cup just happened.
- 16:01Let's imagine some of those players were like, you know,
- 16:04messy. I'm, I'm really good at this.
- 16:06So I don't feel like I need to practice or I, you know, I don't
- 16:12know, I've thought about it enough.
- 16:15I've thought about it a good deal.
- 16:16So I probably don't need to practice.
- 16:18Can you like that's, you know, crazy.
- 16:21We'd never do that when it comes to sports.
- 16:24But then when we think about that with public speaking,
- 16:28speakers do that all the time. I'm just going to think about
- 16:30it. I'll just make the deck and
- 16:31think about it every day. And probably just the way I'm
- 16:35thinking about it is mostly worrying.
- 16:37And then I'm going to get there on the day and just hope that.
- 16:41It comes out differently, doesn't it?
- 16:43Yeah, out of your mouth. And then what you think you were
- 16:45going to say unless you do rehearse.
- 16:48And practice and practice. Like your tongue is literally a
- 16:50muscle. You have to work it and practice
- 16:53it. Sorry, what were you saying?
- 16:55Is no, is that, is that one of the biggest pitfalls you see
- 17:00with most of your like executive clients is just thinking they
- 17:04can kind of just show up and, and and wing it?
- 17:07Yes, yes. Oh, and they have.
- 17:10Oh, Montana. I don't do well with rehearsal.
- 17:14I it just gets too robotic and I'm like, well then either
- 17:17you're not rehearsing enough or you're not rehearsing in the
- 17:19right way. Again, align it with reality.
- 17:21Let it be different every time. If you're trying to have it be
- 17:27exactly the same or like memorize some verbatim script,
- 17:30that's going to sound robotic, right?
- 17:33First of all, the written word. If you're going to write out
- 17:36your script and either speak it or recite it from memory, that's
- 17:39going to sound robotic. It's going to sound like
- 17:42someone's reading to you. We know what the written word
- 17:47sounds like, and it sounds very different than the spoken word.
- 17:52So you got to build yourself the scaffolding that you need so
- 17:57that you can say sentences that are in the spoken vernacular.
- 18:03Like the way that we speak has different vocabulary, different
- 18:06syntax, different vibe even. And So what is that?
- 18:13It could be, I don't know, maybe you speak your look at your
- 18:17slides and you speak your text into something that has like a
- 18:21voice to text technology and that's your script.
- 18:26Or maybe you just use short bullets.
- 18:28This is one of my favorite short bullets, just enough to remind
- 18:32you of what you want to say. That's your jumping off point
- 18:35and then you let it be different.
- 18:37But you do that every day, finding different, you know,
- 18:41versions, iterating. I know you tech books like that
- 18:44word iterate, please iterate. I call it rehearsal, but please
- 18:50iterate every day. Try it, let it be different, you
- 18:54know, and, and and then see what you're capable of.
- 18:58Then then you you find, oh, I might be able to use the stage
- 19:05in a more purposeful way. I might be able then to pop in
- 19:10that great story that I know would be more engaging.
- 19:14So I think yeah, people tell me that all the time.
- 19:17No, doesn't work for me. I'm like, I don't know if what I
- 19:22don't know. First of all, if we are thinking
- 19:23about what rehearsal is, I think they think it's just saying a
- 19:29verbatim script over and over again.
- 19:31And I think it's way more playful and it's like practiced
- 19:37extemporaneous speaking. It's like a hybrid is how I
- 19:42think of it. I, I kind of do actually feel
- 19:45that. Like I've been through those
- 19:47rehearsal sessions where I didn't fully commit and I was
- 19:51just like, yeah, I'm going to talk about this here and then
- 19:53I'll talk about that there. And like almost like it feels
- 19:59too, too playful or, or fake to be like, yeah, I'm going to give
- 20:03you the presentation now. I'm going to.
- 20:05So like in my head, I'm like, I'm going to just save that
- 20:07energy for the real thing, but better to just invest in it and
- 20:11like really do the walkthrough, do the simulation, right.
- 20:14Always, and I'm going to tell you right now, it's not going to
- 20:17feel probably probably most of those will not feel great.
- 20:22It'll feel awkward. It'll feel like, but there's
- 20:25nobody here and you won't have that show energy that you get.
- 20:28It won't have that magic and as much right that you really do
- 20:33get that added magic when the audience is real and there.
- 20:37But wouldn't you rather bring your a game and then add the
- 20:41magic? That's that's what I'm here for.
- 20:45I love it. OK, so for your Ted X, did did
- 20:48you have a formal like a dry run at that same venue on the same
- 20:53stage? What was the process like for
- 20:54that? Now we're getting to it and yes,
- 20:56I promise we're going to kill you.
- 20:58What was the secret sauce that I added?
- 21:00I swear that's coming. Got it.
- 21:02Hang tight. But right now I want to tell you
- 21:05yes. So I think every Ted X is
- 21:09probably slightly different. I have only experienced the one
- 21:14and the way that that lovely team did it was they had a dry
- 21:20run. We had a well wait, let me back
- 21:23up. First of all, I was their coach
- 21:25in years prior. OK, OK.
- 21:27When they began the TE DX Bellevue women and this group of
- 21:31three women who run it are just they're like now they're like my
- 21:35aunties for life. They're so amazing, cool, cool
- 21:38people. And I started yeah, as their
- 21:42coach and, and so they didn't have it to my memory anyway.
- 21:46They didn't have much of A dry run system beforehand.
- 21:50And we started building it in together just because I have,
- 21:53you know, performance and and acting experience, theater
- 21:57experience. I was like, you know, people do
- 21:59really well if you have a bit more rehearsal prior.
- 22:02And so then we started building that in every year we would do
- 22:05it. We'd add something right, like
- 22:07to the point where we got to. And then by the way, after a few
- 22:12years, they were like Montana, I think you need to get on this
- 22:14stage. And I was like, I'm the coach
- 22:17and they were like Montana, I think you need to get on this
- 22:20stage. And it was just a great example
- 22:22of like how the people around you who believe in you, how they
- 22:27can hold this bigger idea and possibility for you.
- 22:31And then they'll just like hold that until you step into it, you
- 22:36know, and like just kind of keep gently nudging you towards it.
- 22:39They did that for me anyway. So we got to a system where we
- 22:44had, when I was the coach, right?
- 22:46It would be each person got, I can't remember what it is, maybe
- 22:514/2 to four coaching sessions prior, like on virtually.
- 22:56And then we'd all meet together a week or two weeks maybe prior
- 23:00to do a, I mean, I think it was more like 2 weeks prior to do a
- 23:04dry run, you know, where everybody is like, you know,
- 23:09deer in the headlights, like, all right, this is real.
- 23:11Like there's going to be an audience, you know, and, and
- 23:15then they would receive notes from everyone and then do
- 23:17another coaching session with me.
- 23:19And then the day before, they didn't have this originally, but
- 23:23I was like, you got to have it like a tech rehearsal.
- 23:27This is another thing that folks who have don't have a lot of
- 23:30theater experience don't inherently know.
- 23:33And I learned that the hard way. They don't always have like a
- 23:37tech rehearsal or a dress rehearsal, like where you're
- 23:41with the tech, the lights, the sound, you're wearing your
- 23:45costume, so to speak, or whatever outfit you want to
- 23:47wear, you're running through it using whatever monitors or, you
- 23:52know, whatever they call them confidence monitors.
- 23:55The I'm losing the word but you know what I mean.
- 23:58Like basically it where it has your script or your bullet
- 24:00points in a. Plate Teleprompter.
- 24:03That's yeah. So some places have
- 24:05teleprompters, which I call they're the ones up in I line.
- 24:08And some places have confidence monitors, which are like the
- 24:11ones on the stage that are kind of angled up, but they do sort
- 24:14of force you to look down if you're checking in with them.
- 24:18If you're like too married to them, then you're looking down
- 24:20the whole time. So people, everybody, even
- 24:24people like me who are more familiar with stuff like that,
- 24:27need a tech and a dress rehearsal.
- 24:30So they added that day before basically that whole thing, full
- 24:36tech dress rehearsal. And then when we got there on
- 24:39the day they did, we got there a little bit early.
- 24:42And for folks who had slides, they could kind of run through,
- 24:44make sure everything was working.
- 24:48Yes. And and then then cut to holy
- 24:54cow, there's 300 people in the live audience, 6 cameras from
- 24:59the Ted crew rolling and ready, set go.
- 25:05No second take hit it. Imagine that, Mikey.
- 25:10Then it's. And then they call your name.
- 25:13Oh no. Did you get Walk Out Music?
- 25:15Did you get to pick? I did.
- 25:17I think I did. God, that's a good question.
- 25:19I don't remember now. I blacked out.
- 25:22No, I don't. I don't remember if I think I
- 25:24did. But I, I, and I got to tell you,
- 25:27I even practiced and rehearsed my walk out.
- 25:31Like that's how much I practiced and rehearsed for this thing.
- 25:36Now that's not even in the video, but you can't see that on
- 25:39the video. Yeah, we just see you starting
- 25:40out. But I knew that I needed to run.
- 25:44I, I practiced and rehearsed for waiting in the wings.
- 25:47I practiced and rehearsed for like, you know, the, the moments
- 25:51before that. What am I going to do?
- 25:53But you know the thing that I didn't account for?
- 25:56And here's here comes the secret sauce story.
- 25:58OK, The thing I did not really think about enough was so they
- 26:03put me at the end of the program.
- 26:05There were 5 speakers and they put me 5th.
- 26:08Makes sense because mine's all about presentation skills so
- 26:11it'd be kind of rude to put me. Right.
- 26:13Yeah, that would be ridiculous. The audience would be like
- 26:15judging everybody, you know anyway, so it made sense.
- 26:20But on the day that meant I had to wait backstage for over, I
- 26:26don't know, 2 1/2 hours or something because they had all
- 26:29the other talks and the big ideas and the transitions.
- 26:32They had a musician and an intermission.
- 26:36And I was like on the roller coaster backstage, I'd be like,
- 26:40I did all my mantras and my silent sentences and my
- 26:43breathing and my talking to myself in the mirror.
- 26:47And then I and then I, you know, go watch a little bit and be
- 26:49like, OK, here comes the wave. And then I'd have to go
- 26:52backstage and do the whole process again.
- 26:54And I was on like this felt like, like a roller coaster or
- 26:57some kind of terrible carnival ride, up, down, up, down.
- 27:01And I couldn't really eat lunch because my tummy was too
- 27:04nervous. And so by the time I was waiting
- 27:08in the wings, you know, it had been a long road, right?
- 27:14And I, but I'm like, I got this. I OK, you know what I mean?
- 27:17I planned to walk out there like a superhero.
- 27:21I did that. I get on the red dot, I start my
- 27:24piece and so far so good. I even get like a little, a
- 27:28little laugh, which always sort of puts me at ease a little bit.
- 27:31That's just sort of my style. I don't suggest everybody has to
- 27:36tell a joke or anything at the top, but certainly that works
- 27:40for for my style and what I like to do.
- 27:45But then kind of like maybe it was when I heard that laugh, I
- 27:48was still speaking. By the way, this whole time
- 27:50while I was speaking my my intro, the thought occurred to
- 27:54me like I could feel that the audience was tired.
- 27:58They had just sat through many other big ideas and stories of
- 28:03trauma and redemption. And they knew just as I did that
- 28:07after mine, they could go to the lobby for free wine and cheese,
- 28:12right? And and you could just feel it.
- 28:14They were tired. And then I was like, Oh my God,
- 28:16and I'm tired and Oh no, this is now going to be a disaster.
- 28:22And Oh my God, she's not here now.
- 28:26Let me explain. If she's not here, my go to
- 28:29silent sentence. I have several, but one that I
- 28:32love. I share in the in the Ted talk,
- 28:34my little silent instruction to myself that I always say that's
- 28:38my favorite. I invite you to be here with me
- 28:41while I am here with you so that I can help you to the best of my
- 28:44ability. OK, that's my fave.
- 28:46Sometimes I shorten it. Invite and help and then let's
- 28:51go, right? It reminds me of my deeper
- 28:53purpose. I love to help people in this
- 28:55way. And when I say you, I'm, I, I'm
- 28:59here to help you. I really think about it as like,
- 29:03let's say it's that audience of 300.
- 29:05I think about it as I know there's at least one person in
- 29:09this audience who needs me or needs to hear it, how I put it
- 29:15right. And I, I'm thinking about them
- 29:18like I'm, I'm going to help one person at the very least here
- 29:23today. And that just really always
- 29:24tends to, I wouldn't say I feel calm walking down, but it
- 29:28focuses my energy in, in, in a very grounding and purposeful,
- 29:34intentional way. So I was using that as I was
- 29:38practicing for this big opportunity.
- 29:40And I was realizing as I was doing, I did probably like 30
- 29:44different practice runs in front of different audiences that I
- 29:49gathered. I everyone I knew, I was like,
- 29:52will you watch this? Do you want to gather a group?
- 29:55I'll do it for free, please. I need a practice audience.
- 29:58And I noticed that, as we said before, my levels were, you
- 30:07know, reaching like terror level.
- 30:09And as the days got closer, it would get higher and higher.
- 30:13And I wanted to quit. And I was like, I can't do,
- 30:15there's no way I can do this. It's too big.
- 30:18And, and I went, you know what, though?
- 30:21OK, we got, we're, we're, we are genuinely here to help one
- 30:25person. So what if we take that idea and
- 30:29we strengthen it? And this sort of comes from my
- 30:32acting background. Like I went, well, who is that
- 30:35person? Who am I talking to?
- 30:36That's some basic acting technique.
- 30:38Who's not only who is my character, but who is the
- 30:41character that I'm talking to? Who is this person?
- 30:43Who is this? Who is this person that I'm
- 30:44talking to? This persona, if you will.
- 30:47But to me, like persona feels not real.
- 30:50So I I had to make in my this person real in my mind and
- 30:54character. Yeah.
- 30:55No, I don't know how why, but in my mind, she was a young woman,
- 31:01maybe a high school age, college age.
- 31:04Maybe she had like a college entrance exam or a big job
- 31:08interview or something coming up and she didn't have access, you
- 31:13know, to this kind of information or this kind of
- 31:17help. And to tell you the truth, I
- 31:19think maybe she was me when I was younger.
- 31:20But anyway, she was this character.
- 31:23This is who I was talking to. So every time I would practice
- 31:28it, when I said I want to help you to the best of my ability, I
- 31:32fully pictured this young woman and I put her in my audience, in
- 31:36my both my imaginary audiences when I was practicing this by
- 31:40myself and in my, you know, rehearsals that I made with with
- 31:45real audiences. And it was like what it really
- 31:49it like it turned up the efficacy in a really lovely way
- 31:53for me because I'm like, I will walk through hot coals to help
- 31:57you, Mikey or you, you know, specific young woman who has a
- 32:02job interview coming up, right. And so that was it.
- 32:05That was the the secret sauce that helped me.
- 32:10Like I will, I will help you kind of no matter what.
- 32:16And we can talk later about how healthy that is for me mentally
- 32:20and emotionally. But let's just say we found the
- 32:22right button that helped me to get on that next stage, right?
- 32:26So it did. I got I, she helped me walk onto
- 32:30that stage then. Oh my God, they're tired.
- 32:34I'm tired. This is a disaster and she's not
- 32:37here. That's literally what the
- 32:41thought said in my brain. And maybe because I practiced it
- 32:46so many times, my silent sentence about, you know, and,
- 32:49and thinking about her. But when I heard myself say
- 32:54that, and by the way, this is important for anybody who has
- 32:57any type of anxiety, I think that's a really excellent thing
- 33:02to watch out for when you can hear yourself say the thought,
- 33:05whether it's a helpful or unhelpful thought.
- 33:08Obviously mine was not a help, helpful thought, right?
- 33:11But when you hear it, that's an opportunity right there, because
- 33:15if you're hearing it, that means there's another self or another
- 33:19voice that's also present, right, 'cause if you're hearing
- 33:23a voice, then inherently that means somebody else is here
- 33:26online hearing this right in, in my head.
- 33:30And so I right there I heard and she's not here.
- 33:33And right there I answered like when what some other self that
- 33:37lives in this head, Montana, the cameras are rolling.
- 33:41So maybe she's not here in the live audience, but he's out
- 33:44there in your future video audience and she needs you.
- 33:48You give it 100% go. And I was like, like power up,
- 33:55like. Yeah.
- 33:59I got a captain and then, you know, you've seen the rest of
- 34:02it. It, it, it all went fine.
- 34:05It went well. It went well now.
- 34:08So good. Yeah, thank you.
- 34:09But the laughs like right away and two, I've always wondered
- 34:13what a Ted X what a Ted Ted X audience looks like and figured
- 34:19it's a very broad audience. So at least like you, it was
- 34:22probably largely women at this one, but but.
- 34:25All. Different industries and, and so
- 34:28it's, I think it's hard to hit something that resonates with
- 34:31people. You don't know who you don't
- 34:34know their background, you don't know their job, their industry,
- 34:36any of that. So I think that would have
- 34:38psyched me out. It it, it will and that's
- 34:40exactly what was happening is I my anxiety self was psyching me
- 34:46out, which by the way, side note will put a pin on that I know
- 34:50don't even call it psyching me out.
- 34:52I call it that's my anxiety trying to protect me and I now
- 34:56call them my protectors, which they'll sign up.
- 34:59Just start, just try that on for size.
- 35:01What if you're like, oh, thank you, my protectors.
- 35:03I got this because that that's now how I talk to them, you
- 35:07know, and I and they don't that doesn't make them stand down by
- 35:10the way. They don't go poof.
- 35:11I wish that made them go poof, because anxiety is going to
- 35:14anxiety. You know what I'm saying?
- 35:16Like that's their job. They're here to protect you.
- 35:19Just like in in inside out too with with Riley, you know, they
- 35:23anxiety is they're trying their best to help her.
- 35:28And so, but now I just go, oh, right, that's your job.
- 35:33And I, my job is to go out and help that one person in the
- 35:36audience. So I'm going to keep walking
- 35:38towards the stage and I'm like, you can come with me, but we're
- 35:41going to keep walking towards the stage.
- 35:43Yes, I hear, I know, and it keeps going, but have you
- 35:45worried about this? But have you thought I'm like,
- 35:47thank you, thank you so much. We're still walking.
- 35:50We're going to help that person out there and you know that
- 35:53specific person. Oh my gosh, that's my main tip
- 35:56right there. You got to make that silent
- 35:57sentence and you have to try different ones like what works
- 36:02for you? What is your little button, your
- 36:05override switch that that helps you even though you're still
- 36:09shaking and sweating? I was still shaking and
- 36:11sweating. Go.
- 36:12I got to do this anyway. It's kind of like, what's the
- 36:15thing that's going to, you know, hear those stories about people
- 36:18who can lift a a car off of another human being like in
- 36:21those horrible. I've never seen this, but I
- 36:24don't even know if that's real. But it seems like you hear these
- 36:26stories of people just doing amazing things in moments of
- 36:30need. And I think you got to find what
- 36:34is that for you? What is the desire, the thing
- 36:37that you want that is more powerful than the thing that you
- 36:42fear. And you and then you build it
- 36:44into your process. You don't just then go, well, I
- 36:46hope that happens on the day you build it into the system.
- 36:49You make it repeatable and reliable by doing it every day.
- 36:54You're going to floss your teeth every day, which by the way, I
- 36:56hope you're doing, but you're also gonna say your silent
- 37:00sentence every day. Like just give it a try 'cause
- 37:04you might be surprised. Like I was on that red dot, how
- 37:08that sentence, I thought it was like for just the wings or just
- 37:11before. But because I had said it so
- 37:14many times and all those rehearsals in my moment of, I
- 37:19don't know, that was my moment in the valley, my moment of
- 37:22darkness on that stage, that that rehearsed plan, that those
- 37:29words, that thought, that person that I had created came in in
- 37:33that moment and then just lifted me right back up, you know, and
- 37:38you can build that for yourself. Anybody can.
- 37:41And, and it's just a matter of sort of becoming the scientist,
- 37:46I guess, you know, sort of experimenting with it and
- 37:49collect data. Did that one work?
- 37:50Well? What if I shift this word?
- 37:52Does that work better? Get curious about that, try it
- 37:56out. And I have to tell you one
- 37:58little kind of rather amazing. It sounds too like fantastical
- 38:05in a way through, but this is the absolute truth.
- 38:08So I got an e-mail a few weeks after the live event.
- 38:13Now the the video was not posted for months.
- 38:17It took about 5 months I think for the video to be posted.
- 38:21So it's just a few weeks after the live event.
- 38:24I got an e-mail like via like one of the organizers sent it on
- 38:29to me from a young woman. No wait, wait for it, wait for
- 38:34it. Just graduated college and she
- 38:37goes Montana, I really loved your talk.
- 38:39Lovely compliments, but even better, she goes.
- 38:42I had a job interview a couple days after I saw your talk.
- 38:47I applied your techniques and I got the job.
- 38:51Oh my God. And I was like.
- 38:53Right. Like job, mission accomplished.
- 38:55What did I create you in my mind?
- 38:58Are you real? That's so cool.
- 39:02I so cool, so cool. And I just, you know, honestly
- 39:08was yeah, it was sort of hard to believe, like, wow, that that
- 39:13really happened. But then after the video got
- 39:19posted that that is probably one of the coolest and one of the
- 39:24unexpected amazing outcomes of doing that Ted Talk was I I
- 39:31still I get messages all the time from women, men, non
- 39:36binary, everyone. I get messages from people all
- 39:40over the world telling me how it helped them or how they applied
- 39:45it in this scenario or that scenario.
- 39:48And I, I, I mean, it is, it's magnificent.
- 39:54I mean, it is humbling. It is glorious.
- 39:58It is. Oh man, I mean, that is better
- 40:01than honestly better than anything.
- 40:04And that's, that's what I would say that's been like the biggest
- 40:07benefit. If you, you know, if you will
- 40:09that that I have seen from doing the talk and you asked that
- 40:12like, I don't know, an hour ago, but I, I will tell you that that
- 40:17was unexpected and it's, it's really lovely.
- 40:21Apparently just begun to Yeah, yeah.
- 40:22You're going to hear so many more of those stories as as more
- 40:26people find it and and apply it. That's so, so cool.
- 40:29So it's like a muse, you know, it's like you.
- 40:32I I think Terry zu Platt, you know, in in story camp talked
- 40:35about his best speeches for Obama are the ones that he wrote
- 40:38for one person in mind. He he thought about that that
- 40:43Boston event story and how he wrote it for his Uncle Dan or
- 40:46whatever. And like sure enough, his uncle
- 40:48Dan calls him a those good speech or whatever.
- 40:50But I think I find like trying to write it like an e-mail to to
- 40:56that person, that long lost friend or something like that.
- 40:58The voice becomes more impactful and like you said it effective.
- 41:04100%, yes. I mean, you always have to think
- 41:07of who's your audience, right? But I think what well, one of
- 41:12the many takeaways I got from that experience is the more
- 41:16specific you get with your who your audience is, the better.
- 41:21I mean, and what if it's fun? Like, what do they look at first
- 41:24on their phone in the morning? What keeps them up at night?
- 41:27Like what brought them through the door?
- 41:30And then even even more fun to start creating that character.
- 41:35You know, what's their story? What, what do they, what do they
- 41:39need? What you know, and everybody has
- 41:45got something like that, right? Like they're all worried about
- 41:48themselves. And by the way, that also helps
- 41:50me to feel a little bit less concerned about myself.
- 41:55And am I saying perfect sentences because everybody else
- 41:58is so worried about themselves, right?
- 42:00And we know this. Nobody's walking into your
- 42:02presentation with their notebook going well, I sure hope Mikey
- 42:06says perfect sentences because that's what I'm here for, right?
- 42:10Yeah. That's not even what the
- 42:12audience ever wants. And it Isn't it wild that we put
- 42:17those things on ourselves as priorities?
- 42:21Wanting to be liked versus hey, I hope one person needs to hear
- 42:27this and does hear it. I think that's such a good
- 42:30mental shift that I've, I've run into that as well.
- 42:34Just worried that like the greater and I hope everybody
- 42:37likes this, but yeah. You know, like what I have my
- 42:41worried thoughts that by the way, I you know, I can talk a
- 42:45good talk like. And then there she put the
- 42:47thought of her and she said, but you know what happened the very
- 42:50next time I got up on stage, the same worried thoughts plays in
- 42:53my brain. And you know, maybe someday a
- 42:57lot of practice it will it will fade away.
- 42:59That would be lovely. But you know what kind of
- 43:02doesn't matter if it does, because now I have the response
- 43:06ready to play right after that or to to replace it or to talk
- 43:11back to it and kind of take back control like what I wish to do
- 43:16in this moment, you know, so like mine are things like you
- 43:20better be perfect. I think I'd say him in the Ted
- 43:23Talk and they're still the same. Don't don't mess up like you
- 43:26like being perfect is somehow my nervous systems idea of safety
- 43:31and So what are what are do you do you feel willing to share
- 43:35like what's what are some of yours that always plague you or
- 43:39come into your mind? Sure.
- 43:42I think it's like that I'll be outed as as an outsider, like I
- 43:46typically go speak to B to B marketers, product marketers.
- 43:50And so as a creative, speaking to these people who are a bit
- 43:52more technical, I'm worried that I'm just not technical enough,
- 43:56smart enough, you know, not speaking their language.
- 43:59So almost like who is this outsider?
- 44:02You know, why does why does he think he has something that
- 44:05we're going to learn from? So I'd say it's that and then
- 44:08and wanting to be then Gosh, I hope, I hope everyone likes it.
- 44:12I just want to be, I want it to be liked, but I have, I, I think
- 44:18just coming out and saying who I am and this is my angle has
- 44:23helped alleviate that. Like I am not, I'm, I'm not you,
- 44:26but I've hung out with a lot of you and, and I'm, you know, I,
- 44:30this is how I see your world as through the eyes of a creative.
- 44:34You know, or by the way, is the reason it is useful for them to
- 44:38hear you talk about that subject, right?
- 44:41Sure. Because they already know what
- 44:43they know. Right.
- 44:44So it is, yeah. So if you can, yeah.
- 44:47But yeah, talk to yourself into understanding why that's
- 44:49valuable to them and and believing it.
- 44:52So. Yeah.
- 44:52But I've never done the silent script.
- 44:54You know, I have said to myself like, I really want it.
- 44:59Reminds me of the movie You, Me and Dupree.
- 45:01I doubt you've seen it because it's I.
- 45:02Have not seen it, should I? Should I put it on?
- 45:04No, you should not. OK.
- 45:06It's like Owen Wilson is a but he's like sort of a deadbeat
- 45:10friend who has to go into career day to fill in for his friend
- 45:14who's an architect. And so he goes in and he's like
- 45:16a loafer. He sleeps on couches.
- 45:18He but his career day speech is pretty hilarious.
- 45:21And he's like, one of you is going to get this.
- 45:23So I mean, that's why I tend to think I channel my you, me and
- 45:26Dupree. And I'm like, I'd be stoked if
- 45:27one person is also a PowerPoint nerd and and sees that it could
- 45:32be elevated and and I've lit a fire for them.
- 45:35You. See, you're doing it.
- 45:36You're using the power more of like bringing out down what is
- 45:39the lowest bar for success. I think that's what I'm doing
- 45:42with that. Like there is one person in this
- 45:45room at least, right, who I know can can get something out of
- 45:49this and that just doesn't do. I can feel the relief is
- 45:52palpable to my system. Like, oh, you mean I only have
- 45:55to help one person. And then you know what, it just
- 45:58aligns with reality. What I, what I notice in what
- 46:02you're saying, it reminds me a little bit of imposter syndrome
- 46:05and what I believe this is just my opinion on what imposter
- 46:09syndrome is, is I think it's just a misalignment with reality
- 46:13because the reality is you were invited to speak there.
- 46:17I don't even know all the circumstances, but I just know
- 46:20already from your story that this group of people invited or
- 46:24somebody from them invited you to speak there, right?
- 46:27So they already are validating the reality that they would like
- 46:33to hear about your skill set and your opinions, your insight, all
- 46:39your techniques, your help for this audience, right?
- 46:44So that is the reality. And I think whenever we try to
- 46:48be like, no, I wasn't, I'm not worthy.
- 46:52It it it's dissonant, right? It's like, 'cause the reality is
- 46:57you were hired at this job. You were accepted to this school
- 47:02program. You were invited to speak at
- 47:04this event. So.
- 47:06And sometimes it can be hard to be like, I am worthy.
- 47:09Yeah. Like, that doesn't feel true
- 47:12yet. But what does feel true like,
- 47:15like if I say, Mikey, you are worthy, like, and I'm sure you
- 47:21have a lovely people around you who are saying that as they
- 47:23should and you and and you know, if that works for you, say that.
- 47:27But if that's not, if you're like your system, you feel a
- 47:31little that's I don't, I don't buy it.
- 47:34Then you have to go, OK, try again.
- 47:37I was invited here. Like does that one feel true?
- 47:41OK, in some cases Montana, yes, in some cases where we're like a
- 47:45pay to play sponsor. So we, hey, if we get a booth A
- 47:49and a well, you'll get a keynote slide.
- 47:51That's where it's like, oh, now I really, yeah, who's this
- 47:54sponsor, you know, trying to hawk their stuff.
- 47:59So that's where I psyched myself out.
- 48:01I hear you. And then.
- 48:02But what is true in that circumstance?
- 48:04Is it true, for example, that there could be the one person
- 48:11we're going back to, the one person in that audience who
- 48:16might need what you have to say? Is that possible?
- 48:20Is that within the realm of possibility?
- 48:22And I have found the way to put myself up to there.
- 48:26It's just like nobody has spent as much time as you nerding out
- 48:30about this stuff, you know? And so whether it's helpful to
- 48:33them or not, they'll at least know that you are very
- 48:35passionate about this topic. And hopefully that is contagious
- 48:40to to to a few people there of. Course that of course that's
- 48:44great like that's a perfect I I'm taking the word perfect out
- 48:48of my So what I meant to say is that's an excellent reframe
- 48:53right there. That's an excellent example of a
- 48:55reframe. So what about, you know, the one
- 48:58you gave me before, which was some version of I'm not worthy,
- 49:03I, I didn't. Say those words like I'm an
- 49:05outsider. I'm an outsider, you know, I'm
- 49:07not as technical as I am sure. Yeah, yeah.
- 49:10What might be a good replacement sentence for that?
- 49:13And the reason I want to take you through it is because I
- 49:15think it's helpful for people to hear like, OK, where I would
- 49:20start is, first of all, what are you telling yourself?
- 49:22And we just got 1. I don't some version of I don't
- 49:25belong. What are you?
- 49:26Telling. I'm.
- 49:28Not one of them or but but what's my we're?
- 49:30Not one of them, right. We have got that right.
- 49:32So that, but I'm just telling people that's the first step is
- 49:35to just become cognizant, become aware of what what?
- 49:39Understand what is just that currently running recognize.
- 49:43Yeah. Yeah, what is being said in
- 49:45calling out? Because the truth is we're so
- 49:47good at following our own instructions 'cause if you say
- 49:50that, then your whole system hears that and we should go into
- 49:55protection mode. Because what, what if you were
- 49:57talking about 1000 years ago in a tribal situation, not
- 50:01belonging could equal death, banishment equal death.
- 50:06So your nervous system now is in this fight, flight, freeze,
- 50:11fawn, you know, whatever. You know, some sort of very
- 50:14uncomfortable F word, right? Like my fly free.
- 50:20Just some that's really what it feels like anyway to me.
- 50:24And and so once and then sometimes that has to just I
- 50:29sometimes I'm just hijacked by that for a while until I kind of
- 50:34like I said, I hear at what some point when I hear it, that's the
- 50:40moment where you got to go. Oh, I can now make a different
- 50:45choice. The moment you hear your those
- 50:48things being said in your mind, that's when you have the
- 50:50opportunity and it always comes. But sometimes you wait a little
- 50:53bit for it. But.
- 50:55But you have to like actually identify it and recognize, I
- 50:57think that's being said in there.
- 51:00And when it's, you know, you do this sort of outside, like, you
- 51:04know, before the the event ideally, right?
- 51:08And you sit down and you think, well, OK, like mine was you got
- 51:12to be perfect. And my that's kind of tricky
- 51:14because it's like, well, wait, isn't that a good thing?
- 51:16Isn't that trying to, you know, get yourself to be a good
- 51:20presenter for them? And it's like, is it possible
- 51:24this is one of the tenants you have to run it through first of
- 51:26all, is it helpful? Like yours is, is pretty, you
- 51:28know, that's definitely not helping you, right?
- 51:31But being perfect, it feels like, well, wait, maybe that is
- 51:34helpful, But is it possible? Is it possible to be perfect?
- 51:39It is not. So your system tightens and
- 51:42tries to do it anyway. We try to go with whatever that
- 51:46thing that we're telling ourselves.
- 51:47So then you need to just play around with what would be a good
- 51:51replacement sentence. And it could be a whole
- 51:53dialogue. But let's start with like one
- 51:55sentence. Like for me, I was like, OK,
- 51:58wait, I don't need to be perfect.
- 51:59I mean, no, But like I said, not in the audience doesn't even
- 52:02want that. Like, why am I being held
- 52:04captive and gripped by this? And I was like, well, I want
- 52:09what do I what the next? That's number two.
- 52:12What do you want? You're walking into pick, pick
- 52:16your audience. You're walking into one of
- 52:19those. What do you genuinely want?
- 52:23You not just like, I don't mean like what you're going to say in
- 52:27your script. I mean like you in your heart of
- 52:29hearts. What do you want?
- 52:31I want to change people's mind that PowerPoint isn't a check a
- 52:36box to check, but it actually, I want them to see that it when
- 52:40they pour into presentations that they can actually get some
- 52:45really strong benefits for their team, for their companies, for
- 52:49their careers, you know, And so I just want them to see it
- 52:51differently and change their perspective on something that's
- 52:54seemingly boring and snoozeville into like that.
- 53:00You actually have some agency over how you approach it.
- 53:02And if you do it with some intentionality, you can do
- 53:05wonders for your career. Oh, that's it.
- 53:09You hate it because at first I was like, OK, to what end?
- 53:11That's for everybody who's building their own.
- 53:14You want to go, what do you want?
- 53:16Right. And, and it has to be something
- 53:19that you want sort of that's within your control.
- 53:23Like I want, we can't always control changing, but you can
- 53:26invite people to a new perspective that's within your
- 53:29control, right? You can invite them to a new
- 53:33technique. You can invite them to a new way
- 53:36of thinking about it. And then you always got to add
- 53:39on like to what end? What what's the benefit to them,
- 53:43right? If they take this invitation and
- 53:47you did it without me even asking you, you were like, and
- 53:50if they do it, will you said something?
- 53:52We have it. It's on the recording, OK.
- 53:54Run it back. No.
- 53:55Yeah, run it back. We, we always say it goes
- 53:58straight like we want them to get a promotion.
- 54:00You know, I, I like, we wanted to change their careers and
- 54:03their and their their companies for the better.
- 54:05Now, now you're cooking with gas, right, because your, your
- 54:10silent sentence is now starting to be focused on the person
- 54:13outside of you, which is always good, right?
- 54:16It inherently just takes the spotlight off of you.
- 54:19I, I want them to like me. Perfectly understandable.
- 54:24And by the way, I have that same 1 something about our
- 54:27childhoods. But anyway, that's another
- 54:29podcast. But right, we cannot make other
- 54:33people like us and that just like puts so much more like
- 54:36focus on us. But if we can focus on them,
- 54:41right, I want to help them to the best of my ability, which is
- 54:44mine. I want to invite them to a new
- 54:47way of thinking about presentation so that they can
- 54:51take their career to the next level.
- 54:53Something like that, right? You can work on it and like put
- 54:55it in your, you really should also always shape it and put it
- 54:59in your own words, right? And and like, how might you say
- 55:03it? Like something that's focused on
- 55:05them that you genuinely hope is the outcome.
- 55:08But maybe one sentence like what?
- 55:10How might you say that in your words?
- 55:12I something along the lines of I want you to see this on this
- 55:17overlooked medium as something that can catalyze your career.
- 55:21And so you can get, you can get promoted, you can climb the
- 55:26ladder fast because everyone sees you as a serious
- 55:28storyteller, because that's what we've observed, you know, from
- 55:32the, the ones who we've we've seen.
- 55:34Yes, 100% agree. You do that.
- 55:37I've seen it. We we did it at story camp,
- 55:39which we have to stop talk about story camp, by the way, before I
- 55:42go. But but tell me, how did that
- 55:46feel to you? Did you feel kind of excited
- 55:48about talk, you know, doing this?
- 55:50Yeah, it's fun. It's it.
- 55:53Yeah, it, it's just this whole concept of like a, a
- 55:57presentation mission statement or a purpose statement as a
- 56:01presenter, whether it's your internal meetings or, or on some
- 56:04big stage, I, I love it. And I, I just don't think it
- 56:08gets talked about other than from you and from your Ted talk
- 56:11and from everything you're you're promoting.
- 56:13I think this should be more common because it does.
- 56:17I don't know that purpose is everything.
- 56:19Yeah, it can drive you past the scary stuff.
- 56:22Yeah, I mean, I still have the jitters and like I said, you
- 56:26know, all those those feelings. But when I have that override
- 56:30switch that mission, I love that word for it, a presentation
- 56:33mission. I mean, I, I settled on silent
- 56:36sentence simply because I wanted to just let you know that it
- 56:41was, you know, something that you can keep as a secret in your
- 56:44own mind, in your, you know, in here and you can use whenever
- 56:50you need to and you can be creative with it.
- 56:53You can build 1000 of them. You can think about different
- 56:55ones for different audiences, have fun testing them.
- 56:58And, and, and that's sort of where I, I landed with silent
- 57:02sentence. But it's self talk, it's
- 57:05intention sending, it's a mantra, it's a mission.
- 57:08I love. I haven't used that word for it,
- 57:10but I'm adding it now. I love it.
- 57:12It's a presentation mission and whatever you want to call it,
- 57:18you know, that's that's up to you.
- 57:20But for my money, you're leaving something on the table if you're
- 57:24not doing it, Whatever you want, call it.
- 57:27And the way it works best again, is not just we had this little
- 57:32moment together right now. You figured that out and you
- 57:34were like, oh, that feels better.
- 57:36That's more aligned with what I want to do.
- 57:39And OK, I actually feel like I could talk to any audience.
- 57:41You didn't say that. I'm going to just put those
- 57:43words in your mouth right in here now.
- 57:46But like, that's what most people feel.
- 57:48They're immediately like, oh, wait, I can do that.
- 57:50Or I and I, I even kind of want to do that now.
- 57:52That's when you know you're on something with a good contender
- 57:55for a good silent sentence for you, whoever you are listening
- 57:59here is when you start to feel, oh, wait, now I kind of want to
- 58:04go say this to everybody because I can feel this alignment with
- 58:09my passion and what I know could happen if if they could really
- 58:14hear this and benefit from this. So then not just that, the
- 58:20moment of like, aha, I found it. That's lovely.
- 58:23But then we have to do the hard work.
- 58:25You're going to have to take that sentence.
- 58:27Whatever version you like, don't get, don't do me and be
- 58:31perfectionist about it. Just a version of it you like,
- 58:35write it on a sticky note and put it up on your monitor and
- 58:38you're going to say it every time you possibly can, every
- 58:43rehearsal. You know, when I do it, every
- 58:45time I join a Zoom or any virtual meeting, because then
- 58:49now it's built in, I click join and regardless of whether it's a
- 58:56podcast interview, it's a one-on-one coaching moment,
- 59:00which I do a lot of, or it's a group coaching or I'm on a big
- 59:04stage doing a keynote. That sentence is just built into
- 59:08the system now, right? And that's that is what I think
- 59:12the real, I don't know if it's not even magic, it's real.
- 59:16It's real. Like it is.
- 59:17Literally. You're giving yourself the
- 59:19instruction that you know helps you perform in the way that you
- 59:25wish to perform. And I think have you ever seen
- 59:27it spoken out? I guess technically you, you got
- 59:30to share yours in, in your talk out loud, which is again the
- 59:33meta factor. But when I think of like, you
- 59:36know, like Steve Jobs keynotes, he would always be like, I'm so
- 59:40excited to share these three products today or, or whatever.
- 59:44I think like saying out loud that the mission that you're on
- 59:48or why you are excited, I imagine it's OK to to to say
- 59:54some of those things out loud. It is and I love that you said
- 59:57that and that often happens. I I often find that it bleeds
- 1:00:00into my spoken intro as well. And and I see that in in clients
- 1:00:06and speakers that I work with that it that it often will that
- 1:00:09like the the keywords and I think that's great.
- 1:00:11It makes it even stronger. You don't have to you.
- 1:00:14It could just all live in in inside but.
- 1:00:18If you add it, I think it then it just reminds your system
- 1:00:22again and then again and then again.
- 1:00:23And that is just fantastic. And by the way, it's not just
- 1:00:26for right before you speak. It can be at the top of every
- 1:00:29slide in every transition or as needed.
- 1:00:34You know, like in my story when, when I certainly needed a
- 1:00:38little, a little realignment with my mission, my presentation
- 1:00:42mission. Yes, love it.
- 1:00:44Oh my gosh. Tina von Fleiss.
- 1:00:47Hey, I invite you to Boulder November 3rd through 6th.
- 1:00:54We're coming back for Story camp #2 you're AOG, a pioneer of
- 1:01:00Story Camp One for those who haven't heard of this or
- 1:01:03listening or like, what is that? What if I were to put it on you
- 1:01:07to say, like, what the heck is story camp?
- 1:01:10How might you package that up? Because I'll probably borrow.
- 1:01:13Yeah, yeah, happy to do so. First of all, story camp is my
- 1:01:17favorite thing ever. That'll be the first tagline.
- 1:01:21Second of all, like the actual with a more log line.
- 1:01:24Like what is it? I call it sleepaway camp for
- 1:01:29speakers. So anybody who wants to up level
- 1:01:32their public speaking skills in any way and for any reason, you
- 1:01:39get to come to this beautiful location and attend all sorts of
- 1:01:46lovely sessions. So some are, are more like
- 1:01:49Keynote, some are workshops, some are very, very hands on and
- 1:01:54and with the greatest minds working on presentations and
- 1:01:58presentation skills today. I mean, when you told me about
- 1:02:02it, when you first contacted me and told me about it, I was
- 1:02:05like, Oh my gosh, I only wish I had had that idea and created
- 1:02:11story camp. Like, I was like, yes, and you
- 1:02:14hadn't yet even told me anything about it.
- 1:02:16I was like, yes, I'm there, yes, I'm there.
- 1:02:18This is my dream come true. And then you know what?
- 1:02:20It exceeded every one of my expectations truly in every way.
- 1:02:26I was thinking, you know, I was talking to my husband and I was
- 1:02:30thinking, you know, what would I say to people who really like
- 1:02:33what was my favorite thing about story camp?
- 1:02:36And and I immediately went the food.
- 1:02:41And then that was pretty good. That both made us laugh because
- 1:02:45of course the food was amazing. And just the way you
- 1:02:48orchestrated those shared meals, I have never in my life been at
- 1:02:53and I've been at a lot of these, you know, whether they're treats
- 1:02:56or conference settings or whatever, And the big heavy
- 1:03:01hitter keynote speakers, you never get to like hang out with
- 1:03:04them or they, you know what I mean?
- 1:03:06They do their thing and then they they, they go elsewhere.
- 1:03:10But every like every shared meal, every moment, I was
- 1:03:14sitting there with, with Terry Suplat, Obama's speech writer,
- 1:03:18you know, at his table for lunch and just, you know, chatting
- 1:03:21about Obama stories. And I was like dying.
- 1:03:25It was so cool. And then Amy Cuddy, who is my
- 1:03:30hero, my personal Ted hero and I just I think the world of her
- 1:03:36and her work got to read her book presents just anyway.
- 1:03:39Everything about just love her work and her as a person.
- 1:03:43And the fact that I got to hang out with her and have tacos, I
- 1:03:48was like, what is happening? So yes, the food was good, but
- 1:03:54it was like the community. So not only did we get these
- 1:03:58great classes and these opportunities to get up on
- 1:04:01stage, everybody in one way or another got like an opportunity
- 1:04:04to receive some coaching and some feedback, even if it was
- 1:04:08just like at the amazing. I love the I can't remember what
- 1:04:11you called it but it was like the slide deck SOS help station
- 1:04:15where presentation. Help desk from Ghost Range.
- 1:04:19Yes, like they just could like help you with all the things
- 1:04:23that I find so hard about making all the the visuals and ghost
- 1:04:28ranch is just so good at that and having that as just a
- 1:04:31station that you could visit. I I mean truly everything was so
- 1:04:36fun. Oh, and then there was I don't,
- 1:04:38I also don't know how you managed to do this.
- 1:04:40Like where there's there was time to take a hike or go in the
- 1:04:45beautiful pool or. Just like.
- 1:04:48You know, write in your journal and be in nature.
- 1:04:51It was everything. It was everything I dreamed of
- 1:04:54and more. And all I will say is I hope I
- 1:04:57get to go to every story camp that ever happens.
- 1:05:00The end you helped us make it what it was, and I think it's
- 1:05:04going to be we're going to keep building on it and we know what
- 1:05:06worked. We're always going to keep it
- 1:05:08small. I think that was part of when we
- 1:05:10kept hearing from everybody's like the, the I got to meet
- 1:05:13everybody I got to hang out with.
- 1:05:14Yeah, Amy and Terry and Montana. So the access to these brilliant
- 1:05:18minds and the, the caliber of the people who show up, by the
- 1:05:21way, are it's no joke as well. So the peer-to-peer learning
- 1:05:25was, was pretty exceptional as well.
- 1:05:27Everyone was so invested in being there.
- 1:05:29Yeah. And it's like, like camp where
- 1:05:31you kind of like build these bonds, you know, like it's so
- 1:05:36quickly through all this, you know, shared experience of kind
- 1:05:39of walking through the hot coals together, you know, of like
- 1:05:42having to to work on public speaking.
- 1:05:45And there was just so much lovely trust.
- 1:05:49I mean, I know it's sort of a joke.
- 1:05:51It's it was a safe space. I'm just going to say it, it was
- 1:05:54a safe space and it was super fun anyway and.
- 1:05:57The views weren't bad either. Yeah.
- 1:05:59Yeah. Well, thank you for that plug.
- 1:06:01We're going to use that Montana. Oh man, I will do it.
- 1:06:04I would say that again and again 1000 times.
- 1:06:08So truly I'm I'm and and and by the way, how dare you be so good
- 1:06:14at it on your first one. We had some.
- 1:06:18How dare you, Sir? High praise.
- 1:06:20High praise. Yeah, we've we've got some
- 1:06:21improvements to make, but we're we'll be always iterating.
- 1:06:25That's so funny because like truly I could not think of a
- 1:06:28thing. Like we even got to roast
- 1:06:29s'mores. I mean this it was it was
- 1:06:32awesome. I can't wait to go to the next
- 1:06:34one and I will be there and I will see you there.
- 1:06:37You will big time going to be there story camp.com if you want
- 1:06:40to secure your your registration before supply while supplies
- 1:06:45last. And in November this time, like,
- 1:06:47what's it going to be like in the mountains in November in
- 1:06:49Colorado? So in Boulder, it can be hit or
- 1:06:52miss, like we could have a snow, we could have sunshine, we might
- 1:06:55have both. Like usually if you if you get a
- 1:06:58dusting, the sun comes and blazes it, but it could be
- 1:07:02chilly. We'll need to bundle up.
- 1:07:03We'll bring some layers we'll have.
- 1:07:05Campfires. The S'mores taste that much
- 1:07:06better. Will we have campfires, Mikey?
- 1:07:08It is the the Mountain West. So I, I don't know pictures of,
- 1:07:13of fires. I don't know if they're allowed
- 1:07:14in Colorado. That's true.
- 1:07:16That's true. Sometimes.
- 1:07:18Like we we did have that restaurant experience that had
- 1:07:22one of those sort of much more controlled like everywhere.
- 1:07:26They might have. Yeah.
- 1:07:27Chautauqua is a little more campy.
- 1:07:30It'll be a little more throwback vibes, but it's it's such a cute
- 1:07:33campus. Like we'll all have our own
- 1:07:35little cabins and stuff. It's going to be awesome.
- 1:07:37Yeah, it's going to be cool. All right, So Montana, I know
- 1:07:41we're at time here. We should keep doing this, but
- 1:07:44do you have any parting shots for for those who have listened
- 1:07:47all this way? I would say, yeah, my number one
- 1:07:51piece of advice, which is also, by the way, my most ignored
- 1:07:55piece of advice, which is just funny, but I also get it, is to
- 1:08:00practice. Like if you had a piano recital,
- 1:08:03you'd practice. If you had a baseball game,
- 1:08:06you'd practice. Like, you just got to put
- 1:08:08yourself in that mindset. If you're going to run a
- 1:08:11marathon, you're going to be doing some practice.
- 1:08:13You're going to build that into your life.
- 1:08:16So why not set yourself up for success?
- 1:08:19Give yourself a chance, even if it's.
- 1:08:20Uncomfortable practice, practice.
- 1:08:22Practice and then video it and then video it and watch it back
- 1:08:25next level. Heard a month, then.
- 1:08:27OK, all right, You heard it here.
- 1:08:30Well, Montana, this has been so special.
- 1:08:31Thank you so, so much for the time and the ideas and the
- 1:08:34stories. Where what's the best place to
- 1:08:36find you? Montana Von fliss.com.
- 1:08:38Yes, Montana Von fliss.com for sure.
- 1:08:40Also, you can find me on LinkedIn and Instagram and my
- 1:08:46new YouTube channel. All right, what Montana von
- 1:08:49Fliss? Just search that and you'll find
- 1:08:51the things in the with the things and the stuff.
- 1:08:55Well. Thanks, Mike.
- 1:08:56Friend of the show, thank you so much for being here.
- 1:08:59Let's do it again sometime. We'll see you in November.
- 1:09:01Sounds great, see ya. All right.
- 1:09:03Bye, Montana. Thank you.