Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 238 - Managing Your Emotions is REAL WORK.

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 238 - Managing Your Emotions is REAL WORK. · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places for
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  Chicken Coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from inside the chicken coop.
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  Just doing a little head check, making sure everybody's good
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  before they go off for their day.
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  And apparently our girl Wanda wants to say hello to everybody
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  because she's got a lot to say going on.
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  So today we're going to talk about why do most of us believe
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  we fail at managing our emotions.
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  So first of all, emotions are like herding cats.
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  I want to be very clear about this.
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  Emotions are like herding cats. They are all over the place.
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  And you've heard me say this before on other podcasts, but
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  you know, it's projected that we have between 60 to 80 thousand
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  thoughts a day. Some people project up to
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  100,000 thoughts per day, and of those 100,000 thoughts or up to
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  100,000 thoughts, we have 2/3 of them repeated from the day
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  before. It's no accident that they're
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  hard to manage. There's a lot going on.
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  Not to mention that everybody in the world is buying for your
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  attention, trying to get you to buy this.
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  Pay attention to this. Look at me, Influencers are
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  everywhere. Everybody's asking if you're
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  your family. Everybody's trying to capture a
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  moment of your time to get your attention.
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  And you know, here we are trying to manage ourselves and trying
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  to stay calm with all of our buttons, with all of our
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  beliefs, with all the things that we have adopted from other
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  people. We all have these issues and
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  Lord knows that it's completely complex to be able to manage
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  yourself in all of this chaos, which is why it's so important
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  to to one pause. You know, if any of you have
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  read my book who's Driving Your bus?
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  That there is a very distinct line in there where we say you
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  have to stop, reflect, choose, redirect.
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  So when that stop comes up, you have to ask yourself, you
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  reflecting, where am I right now?
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  Where am I? What am I giving my attention
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  to? What is the buttons that's being
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  pushed? What is the emotion I'm in?
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  Because if you can't figure out where you currently are, it's
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  impossible to figure out where you want to go next.
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  So it's just like being in the car and being lost.
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  If I called one of you and I said, hey, listen, I'm trying to
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  get to your house and I'm lost, you'd say, well, where are you?
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  And if I said to you, I don't know, you'd say, well, I can't
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  help you unless I know where you are.
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  And so just like in a coaching session, when someone calls and
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  they say to me, I'm so upset I have this going on or this going
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  on. I the very first thing that I
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  always say to them is, OK, what's the main thought going on
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  in your head? What's the main focus going on
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  in your head? And if I can nail down what that
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  main focus is that I can help them figure their way out of it.
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  So today I want to give you guys this the same pattern because
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  nothing is more important than that.
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  Stop and reflect and then choosing and redirecting.
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  Yes, but the first part of it is so critical.
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  Stop, just stop yourself from, from the, the constant chatter
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  of saying, Oh my God, I'm all over the place because we, I
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  can't tell you how many times I hear people say that I'm all
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  over the place. And I know there are times when
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  I get really excited about things.
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  Perfect example, the other day I was in the garden center and I
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  had this, I would call it an experience with this girl that
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  worked there because she was helping me with a problem.
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  And she said something that I, I heard hadn't heard that I could
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  have certain plants that I had never been able thought I was
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  able to have here in the heat. And she said, no, as long as you
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  do them like this and this and this, you can have them.
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  And I was from that moment forward, my head was spinning
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  because all these ideas were running.
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  And I was excited and I was anxious that I wanted to get the
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  ones that were on the floor before someone else got them.
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  There was so many different things happening in my head all
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  at once. And I had to legitimately could
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  not get control of it. So I'm telling you, even when we
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  think we know all this stuff, we're still going to have these
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  things happen. My husband walked over and he
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  looked at me and he's like, you're all over the place.
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  I'm like, yeah, I am really. I am.
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  So it it, it is not unusual to have that happen.
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  Common. It's really, really common.
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  But the trick, the trick you have to nail down is hitting
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  that pause button, hitting that stop button so that you can just
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  get yourself centered. Take a deep breath.
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  Where am I right now? Getting yourself the primary,
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  where you are in your head is the distinction.
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  And stop beating yourself up for thinking that you fail at this
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  all the time because most of us, most of us are very capable of
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  doing this. Unless you have been diagnosed
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  with something that tells you you have a disorder or an
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  inability to manage this, the majority of us can manage this
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  if we follow the rules. First of all, stop blaming
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  yourself because the beatings will continue until morale
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  improve. Never works ever works.
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  Ever works doesn't get you where you want to go, so you have to
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  pause or stop, whichever word works for you.
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  And then you say, OK, what is my biggest outcome right now?
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  What is the thing that I want more than anything right now?
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  What is the thing that I need to focus on more than anything
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  right now? And then do that.
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  Do that one thing and then you can you can bring yourself back
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  to, you know, that center of saying, well, why do I think I
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  fail at this all the time? You don't fail it at all the
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  time. You may fail sometimes we all do
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  I do. But it's not all the time.
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  It's it's incremental, it's moment.
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  It's just in the moments. But you can bring yourself back
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  and you just have to allow yourself the space and the grace
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  to say, yeah, OK, I had a hiccup.
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  I didn't fail because if you don't give up, you don't fail.
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  That's the rule. If you don't give up, you don't
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  fail. If you keep resetting, keep
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  trying again, you are going to get there.
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  You're going to get to that point.
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  If you keep working at it, if you keep asking better
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  questions, if you keep hitting the pause button and you keep
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  doing the right things, I promise you, you will get there.
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  So I hope you hope you guys have a great day.
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  I will see you tomorrow and work on this piece because it's
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  critical to success. Have a great one.
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  Bye.