Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 17: Pace Yourselves
Transcript
- 0:10Speaker 1: What's the crag?
- 0:11Speaker 2: Harry'll keeping everybody? It's the Tom and Jerry show, myself,
- 0:15Speaker 2: Jerry McBride and himself. Sem o'manny I ding down with there, Tom,
- 0:19Speaker 2: because just before I jumped on, I got a ding
- 0:21Speaker 2: down at the front door. And I don't know about you.
- 0:23Speaker 2: Maybe it's a different out in the country, but anywhere
- 0:26Speaker 2: here in town, if the bell goes after eight o'clock,
- 0:29Speaker 2: that's one where you check the camera. Now, yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 0:32Speaker 2: that's now. If I don't know, I'm not answering.
- 0:35Speaker 1: After eight o'clock the bell. I don't know, Jesus, I
- 0:41Speaker 1: can't even think. Should we have no bell on the house?
- 0:44Speaker 1: And but this was something we discussed actually because with
- 0:47Speaker 1: the new house, like things like that now need to
- 0:49Speaker 1: be discussed. I said, well, we better put in a bell.
- 0:51Speaker 1: But the only thing is, like it's a fairly long drive,
- 0:55Speaker 1: you know.
- 0:56Speaker 2: Do you know anybody that comes up to your house
- 0:58Speaker 2: in the country, Tom, like the business which you whereas
- 1:00Speaker 2: like what we have out here country? And I said,
- 1:02Speaker 2: I remember mentioning it's back in the episode when we
- 1:04Speaker 2: did like politicians wrapping up or it's just one hundred
- 1:06Speaker 2: houses in a row. They can just walk up one
- 1:08Speaker 2: after the other after the other. And if you're not
- 1:10Speaker 2: calling to me, like before six o'clock, well you're not
- 1:12Speaker 2: delivering it to me. The most man want me to
- 1:14Speaker 2: sign it, And anybody I know is almost certainly at
- 1:18Speaker 2: home having their tea at this stage. You ring that
- 1:20Speaker 2: bell after half six, I'm opening that door on a
- 1:23Speaker 2: case by case basis.
- 1:24Speaker 1: Who was it or what was it? Was it special?
- 1:28Speaker 2: It was? Now? It was why I wanted to see?
- 1:29Speaker 1: All right, I get it. I can only imagine.
- 1:34Speaker 2: But I checked him. I checked him that we can't
- 1:36Speaker 2: the doorbell camera Tom. Now you know, it's the age
- 1:40Speaker 2: we live in now.
- 1:42Speaker 1: I sure, I know at the whole place litted with
- 1:44Speaker 1: cameras there. Sure decide for God's sake, But yeah.
- 1:47Speaker 2: You just gotta know. And he knows I'm sitting in
- 1:49Speaker 2: the house, and he knows after the first thing down
- 1:52Speaker 2: like he knows that I know he's out there.
- 1:55Speaker 1: Here's the thing people at these musical belts, or says,
- 1:59Speaker 1: parents have it. And I swear to Jase, the thing
- 2:01Speaker 1: goes on for a good a good thirty seconds player. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 2:05Speaker 1: and I'm kind of going I have to ring that now,
- 2:08Speaker 1: do I like do why just wait? You know the
- 2:12Speaker 1: way you assume within ten seconds of the door is
- 2:13Speaker 1: going to be answered. But like this bell, I can
- 2:15Speaker 1: hear somehow twingy twangy thing going inside them in my head,
- 2:18Speaker 1: My my ADHD kicks in. Now I'm going Jesus Christ
- 2:23Speaker 1: fight a way thirty seconds before they are legally allowed
- 2:25Speaker 1: to answer the door. Does that bell have to end before?
- 2:29Speaker 1: Because there's a moment every single time it opens up?
- 2:31Speaker 1: And you know our people like that, they want to
- 2:34Speaker 1: tell you the same thing every time, like and every
- 2:36Speaker 1: time the door opens now it's the same. Oh that'll
- 2:38Speaker 1: go on for another it now, which I swear.
- 2:40Speaker 2: To God Tom if I ring your doorbell and it
- 2:43Speaker 2: doesn't just go ding down when you answer the door,
- 2:45Speaker 2: the four thing I say is I'm sorry for ringing
- 2:47Speaker 2: your bell.
- 2:48Speaker 1: Do you know?
- 2:48Speaker 2: Do you know what? I'm sorry for putting you through that?
- 2:50Speaker 1: Because I want to make people work for it. I
- 2:53Speaker 1: don't want an electric I don't want an electric bell
- 2:55Speaker 1: at all. I actually want to put in an old
- 2:57Speaker 1: school like you know what, do you know you'd pull
- 3:00Speaker 1: you'd actually pull a steel lever on the wall?
- 3:02Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, es es, yeah, yeah.
- 3:04Speaker 1: Because I want people to kind of interpret interpretation, like
- 3:06Speaker 1: we're going Jesus Christ. If I pull this, you because
- 3:08Speaker 1: like sludge's gonna come flying out or something door underneath.
- 3:13Speaker 2: The actual door bell, like an actual bell on an
- 3:16Speaker 2: L bracket, give me a dinner.
- 3:18Speaker 1: Bell, a triangle, hang it up for people.
- 3:22Speaker 2: I'll tell you. I'll tell you it's one thing in
- 3:23Speaker 2: the country townel I put that out around here, it
- 3:25Speaker 2: would not lasting time, not that the people would steal
- 3:28Speaker 2: it around here. Just like you know you ring it, it
- 3:30Speaker 2: wakes every dog in it.
- 3:33Speaker 1: There's a lot of things living in built up areas
- 3:36Speaker 1: when you have neighbors so close by that you just
- 3:38Speaker 1: like the thing that tipped me over the age and
- 3:40Speaker 1: why I moved home to the country, and I make
- 3:42Speaker 1: it out that it was to raise our child and
- 3:44Speaker 1: you know where I grew up and everything else, and
- 3:46Speaker 1: to have a nice somber and quiet I'll tell you
- 3:48Speaker 1: the strew chair would tip me over the edge. Wind chimes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
- 3:54Speaker 1: yes yeah yeah. But look we'll get into that for
- 3:56Speaker 1: another time anyway.
- 3:56Speaker 2: Nail update.
- 3:57Speaker 1: I want to show you the nail. It's like an
- 4:00Speaker 1: can you see it's opening like a door. Now there's
- 4:02Speaker 1: one little hinge corner on it. Look at that that
- 4:04Speaker 1: it looks like somebody said, I say that badly drawn
- 4:07Speaker 1: on Frankenstein nail And it's just hanging on by the
- 4:11Speaker 1: I tell you now, if this was if my nail
- 4:14Speaker 1: was a politician, it would be squeaky one time, like
- 4:17Speaker 1: you know.
- 4:17Speaker 2: What I mean, You're you're not making another election.
- 4:19Speaker 1: No, you're laying off some staff and everything, like you
- 4:22Speaker 1: know what I mean, there's no you can see your
- 4:23Speaker 1: post or printing, you know account, there's no more going on.
- 4:27Speaker 2: It's the kind of thing, Tom, if that nail was
- 4:29Speaker 2: a politician, as you drew up that analogy, it will
- 4:31Speaker 2: be brought in by an aide of the PM and say, look,
- 4:35Speaker 2: you gotta go. We're gonna say that you went of
- 4:38Speaker 2: your own accord and you can write it up whatever
- 4:40Speaker 2: way you want, but you're going, yeah, we're taking out Tom.
- 4:44Speaker 2: You know, I think live on air next week, if
- 4:46Speaker 2: it's vives that long, we should pull that. God damn it.
- 4:48Speaker 1: I think so. I have been. But it's it's dogging
- 4:52Speaker 1: where it is caught. It's dogging will and it's catching
- 4:55Speaker 1: on everything. But anyway, I'm not too I know, I know.
- 4:59Speaker 2: Podcast is not the medium to describe this. But like
- 5:01Speaker 2: all I can say to the fine folks listening to
- 5:04Speaker 2: the Tom and Jerry shows to Nil is hanging off.
- 5:06Speaker 2: His fingernail is hanging off. It's like it's not like
- 5:09Speaker 2: bruised or black. It's hanging off. Yeah, it's hanging on
- 5:14Speaker 2: by a quick Yeah. Tom, It's one of the worst
- 5:16Speaker 2: things I've ever seen. I walked down the umbrella that cover. Yeah,
- 5:20Speaker 2: and you've seen some rank stuff.
- 5:22Speaker 1: I walked on stage in Belfast the other night, Friday night,
- 5:25Speaker 1: lovely crowd place called Cromlin Belfast, lovely, lovely, little little
- 5:30Speaker 1: village slash has been upgraded down lovely crowd, great crack,
- 5:34Speaker 1: And I caught how you think in the open space
- 5:37Speaker 1: of a stage, how could you catch you? I literally
- 5:39Speaker 1: caught my finger on you know the band that goes
- 5:41Speaker 1: around like it's the standard shore s M fifty eight microphone. Yeah,
- 5:46Speaker 1: I reached up for that. My fingernail would never in
- 5:49Speaker 1: a million years hit that. I've caught it. Ten thousand
- 5:52Speaker 1: mics caught that, and I have to open with so
- 5:57Speaker 1: I talked to I have to talk about fingernail for
- 5:59Speaker 1: the first couple of seconds to go. We need to
- 6:01Speaker 1: discuss this now, because there'll be tears in my there
- 6:03Speaker 1: will be water its here for a minute now and
- 6:06Speaker 1: everybody was grossed out. At least we've got a reaction
- 6:08Speaker 1: out of it. And we did another forty five minutes together.
- 6:10Speaker 1: Or I didn't discuss the nail.
- 6:11Speaker 2: But look at here we are and a nice here
- 6:13Speaker 2: we are. You're honing and road testing this material and
- 6:15Speaker 2: the good listeners of the Tom and Jerry Show. But listen,
- 6:18Speaker 2: enough material about Tom's fucking horrendous look and Neil, We're
- 6:22Speaker 2: going to move on with the show, new listeners, Here's
- 6:26Speaker 2: what we do. We don't just talk nonsense like that.
- 6:28Speaker 2: We've got like a bit of a structure. So the show,
- 6:30Speaker 2: in the first segment of the show is one where
- 6:32Speaker 2: we break down the big news of the week, whatsoever
- 6:35Speaker 2: that might be, and whatsoever way we might determine it.
- 6:39Speaker 2: We do all that in a segment that we call
- 6:41Speaker 2: the Weekly what have You? This is a very complicated case,
- 6:45Speaker 2: mad You know, a lot of ian's, a lot of outs,
- 6:46Speaker 2: a lot of what have you, and a lot of
- 6:49Speaker 2: strands to keep in my head.
- 6:51Speaker 1: Man, the weekly what have you? By God, I'll tell
- 6:53Speaker 1: you something.
- 6:53Speaker 2: It's a big one. This week. Tell me one thing, now,
- 6:56Speaker 2: big one. It's it's the time of year, it's it
- 7:00Speaker 2: only comes along once every so often. We're talking about
- 7:03Speaker 2: an event that lasts for a whole month, that had
- 7:07Speaker 2: the opening ceremony in the last couple of days. As
- 7:10Speaker 2: we record this tom a grueling test of endurance where
- 7:15Speaker 2: the fittest survive and the weakest are crushed on our heel.
- 7:19Speaker 2: We are, of course talking about the opening of the
- 7:22Speaker 2: Edinbury Fringe exactly.
- 7:23Speaker 1: Hey, what else could be? You talking?
- 7:26Speaker 2: Absolutely nothing else? You know what.
- 7:28Speaker 1: I'm so glad we're going here because every dog and
- 7:31Speaker 1: our mother is cribbing about that other thing that's on,
- 7:34Speaker 1: which honestly passed me by. I tell you as much
- 7:38Speaker 1: as I knew, and I'm going to get this out
- 7:39Speaker 1: of the way as much as I it dawned me
- 7:41Speaker 1: that what was going on. I popped downstairs of that
- 7:44Speaker 1: club that I was in Belfast on Friday night and
- 7:46Speaker 1: saw what seemed to be the opening ceremony of the Olympics,
- 7:49Speaker 1: and it was just some guy, out of shape, guy
- 7:51Speaker 1: in blue, and I just kind of looked to him, ah, yes,
- 7:53Speaker 1: shrim in Belfast, and just walked away.
- 7:55Speaker 2: I didn't know what I just going on your business.
- 7:58Speaker 2: But you know, the Olympics goes on for about three
- 7:59Speaker 2: or four weeks, so I'm pretty sure we will cover
- 8:01Speaker 2: it in some capacity in the common weeks. But for
- 8:04Speaker 2: now we're talking about the Edinburgh and Fringe Festival. For
- 8:06Speaker 2: those that don't know, it is a month long arts
- 8:09Speaker 2: festival in where else in Edinburgh, in Scotland. And I
- 8:16Speaker 2: would always describe it as like a comedy gae tuct. Okay, yeah,
- 8:20Speaker 2: so comedians Irish, not just Irish comedians but from wherever
- 8:23Speaker 2: in the world would go over and set up camp
- 8:25Speaker 2: and do shows every day for thirty days, two shows
- 8:29Speaker 2: on Sunday, whatever the hell it might be. To vary
- 8:32Speaker 2: in degrees of success. Some people have done very well
- 8:35Speaker 2: out of it. Some people have forged strong careers out
- 8:37Speaker 2: of it. Some people, such as one half of this podcast,
- 8:41Speaker 2: the Northern Half, went over for one day once in
- 8:44Speaker 2: his life and said to hell with everything to do
- 8:46Speaker 2: with this and never set foot in the place every again.
- 8:49Speaker 2: But we want to talk about the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
- 8:52Speaker 2: because you are a hardened veteran. You've done a couple
- 8:54Speaker 2: of tours, as the say NBA I have.
- 8:56Speaker 1: I've done a couple of tours of it, and it
- 8:57Speaker 1: gets to a point two where some people love it,
- 9:01Speaker 1: some comics love it and everything about it, and for
- 9:03Speaker 1: me it's like, eh, but it is. You have to
- 9:06Speaker 1: do it. If you're thinking of doing comedy, you have
- 9:07Speaker 1: to do it a couple of years.
- 9:09Speaker 2: If you're going to be serious about it, you gotta
- 9:10Speaker 2: do it right.
- 9:11Speaker 1: You gotta do it. And for people wonder, what do
- 9:13Speaker 1: you mean, well, how is it got? I mean there
- 9:16Speaker 1: are venues under stairs, there are venues in nice venue rooms,
- 9:21Speaker 1: there are set up venues that are built by by
- 9:23Speaker 1: companies like Gilded Balloon. There are it's everywhere and any
- 9:28Speaker 1: there literally could be a thousand shows going on like
- 9:31Speaker 1: It's been. It's bananas and everything from I mean it's
- 9:35Speaker 1: it's primarily based around stand up comedy, but everything from
- 9:39Speaker 1: Bolex is up in unicycles doing and mind.
- 9:41Speaker 2: Made yeah, like street jugglers.
- 9:45Speaker 1: Oh, I'll get into it in a minute, but it
- 9:47Speaker 1: was it's primarily stand up comedy, and it is well
- 9:50Speaker 1: worth it because for a young comic, you bang out
- 9:54Speaker 1: typically it runs about the twenty six twenty seventh, you
- 9:56Speaker 1: know that kind of way, and then you run every
- 9:58Speaker 1: day and if you're serious about it. Some guys put
- 10:00Speaker 1: on compilation shows, which is just to hand away for
- 10:02Speaker 1: them to make a few quid. But by hosting the
- 10:05Speaker 1: show and having like five or six comics on who
- 10:07Speaker 1: are going to do ten minutes each and then you
- 10:09Speaker 1: expose your ten minutes and you flyer at the door.
- 10:11Speaker 1: If people like you, they'll come see your show the
- 10:13Speaker 1: following day, it's typically free. Now there's some ticketed ones,
- 10:17Speaker 1: obviously with the big with bigger names and people who
- 10:20Speaker 1: are with agencies and stuff who've gotten them into.
- 10:25Speaker 2: If you think you can sell a ticket rather than
- 10:27Speaker 2: give one away, by all means work away.
- 10:29Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah. And the other side of it is
- 10:33Speaker 1: the free fringe. The way it works, you do your
- 10:35Speaker 1: show and at the end you say would you pay what?
- 10:38Speaker 1: What do you think it's worth? And I'm sure nowadays
- 10:40Speaker 1: there's revolution, there's all there's a couple of different banking
- 10:43Speaker 1: apps that people can just tap their phone.
- 10:45Speaker 2: A little white square that you can.
- 10:46Speaker 1: Tell yeah yeah yeah. And then but back then and
- 10:50Speaker 1: i'm sure still to this day, there's you. There's the
- 10:52Speaker 1: bucket at the door and if people change on them,
- 10:54Speaker 1: they chuck it in our five or tenors. You know,
- 10:57Speaker 1: it's been good. It's been bad. It's been buttons, it's
- 10:59Speaker 1: been I don't sorry, I don't carry cash. It's been that.
- 11:04Speaker 1: But the thing is you come back bulletproof because you
- 11:06Speaker 1: will garner a year's worth of work done in one month.
- 11:13Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? I mean yes, Will
- 11:15Speaker 1: your liver or suffer, by Jesus Christ, the will chair.
- 11:19Speaker 1: Will your health suffer? Yes, you're in Scotland. There is
- 11:21Speaker 1: not a vitamin to be found. The only thing that
- 11:26Speaker 1: will keep you in some way healthy is that you
- 11:28Speaker 1: do typically have to fly your own show. You can
- 11:30Speaker 1: hire flyers for whatever whatever You're going to pay them,
- 11:33Speaker 1: maybe fifteen quid an hour to fly for a couple
- 11:36Speaker 1: hours a day. I don't know, but you're The thing
- 11:38Speaker 1: about Edinburgh is there's hills in every direction. It literally
- 11:41Speaker 1: looks like the staircases from Hogwarts. There are streets under
- 11:44Speaker 1: streets where you're It's an absolute bastard of a very
- 11:47Speaker 1: nice city, put an absolute bastard of a place, especially
- 11:51Speaker 1: because it's Scotland and it does he's it rain. We
- 11:55Speaker 1: love to think of it as oh, it's the sunny,
- 11:58Speaker 1: it's sunny, it's going to be lovely getting people in
- 12:01Speaker 1: would be people come into night's air conn. I mean,
- 12:04Speaker 1: I've had hot days where it's so humid that people
- 12:07Speaker 1: almost die in the shows, then cold pits and wet
- 12:10Speaker 1: days the following day where people are just coming in
- 12:12Speaker 1: begrudgingly because they just need shelter. Do you know what
- 12:16Speaker 1: I mean? But I've done I've done five tours of
- 12:18Speaker 1: Edinburgh and I don't think. I don't think I need anymore.
- 12:21Speaker 1: I don't people. I still get a message you're not
- 12:25Speaker 1: doing the Edinburgh French. I'm like no, and it's not
- 12:28Speaker 1: because I don't like doing stand up. I love doing
- 12:30Speaker 1: stand up. But here's the thing. I can't buy the
- 12:33Speaker 1: hype chair, you know what I mean. And that's just
- 12:35Speaker 1: me to the core. And I'm like, I get it.
- 12:37Speaker 1: I got what I needed from it. But do you
- 12:39Speaker 1: think I'm gonna run with the bulls. I have to
- 12:42Speaker 1: run in the other direction. It's my it's just my
- 12:44Speaker 1: go to set up default setting. I have to go
- 12:47Speaker 1: in the opposite direction and go no, you know what,
- 12:49Speaker 1: I'm gonna do something different, set up my own club
- 12:52Speaker 1: here in Ireland.
- 12:53Speaker 2: And why not, well, you know, to give people some
- 12:55Speaker 2: idea that would never have a give you're done a
- 12:57Speaker 2: great description of it there. But we've all been to festivals,
- 13:01Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen. We've all been to you know, shall
- 13:03Speaker 2: we say, oxygens and electric picnics and whatnot, and there
- 13:08Speaker 2: are varieties of stages and varieties of tents and whatnot. Okay,
- 13:11Speaker 2: so you will have, if I understand correctly, the Guild
- 13:14Speaker 2: Balloon stages that our bigger part of Guilded Balloon Company.
- 13:18Speaker 2: Who would have bigger acts on people that I dare say,
- 13:22Speaker 2: you never know, Tom, you might have heard of, you know,
- 13:25Speaker 2: a couple of names that may have been unlocked the
- 13:27Speaker 2: week here and there and whatnot. That's very much like
- 13:31Speaker 2: the main stage of electric picnic. And then after that
- 13:34Speaker 2: you have like your Salty Dog stage, where it's like
- 13:36Speaker 2: lesser known people. But if you know comedy, you know people.
- 13:40Speaker 2: And then you have stages which to even call them
- 13:43Speaker 2: stages like this is where your cousin's band will be
- 13:45Speaker 2: playing at the Horse at eleven eleven thirty of a
- 13:49Speaker 2: son and there's nobody at it except a few people
- 13:51Speaker 2: that went down to shame. That's rough. Now, you know,
- 13:56Speaker 2: if I was to go over in the morning, you
- 13:58Speaker 2: you've done your tours so we're not to talk about
- 14:00Speaker 2: what you've done just yet. If I was Oj Simpson,
- 14:03Speaker 2: if I did it right, yeah, I went over in
- 14:04Speaker 2: the morning. I would be going over to Edinburgh, Scotland
- 14:07Speaker 2: for one month to do at least thirty gigs under
- 14:09Speaker 2: my own name, Jerry McBride on the Marquee in a
- 14:12Speaker 2: room that may or may not be a room for comedy.
- 14:15Speaker 2: I will say, like up towards like the Guild of
- 14:17Speaker 2: Balloon is very like like you know that the Embassy
- 14:24Speaker 2: the snooker.
- 14:25Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it's kind of like.
- 14:27Speaker 2: It's kind of like when you see the snooker on TV.
- 14:30Speaker 2: There's like you're looking at one match, one snooker table,
- 14:33Speaker 2: but sometimes you'll hear clapping from next door.
- 14:36Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, oh.
- 14:37Speaker 2: It's clear to me now that there's like six games
- 14:39Speaker 2: of snooker going on at one time here and the
- 14:41Speaker 2: different audiences in each.
- 14:42Speaker 1: But I've been in that environment because there's there's obviously
- 14:44Speaker 1: the giddlea Blloon. Then you have another crowd called Underbelly
- 14:47Speaker 1: who set up around the place as well, and I'm
- 14:50Speaker 1: I'll regale you with one of them. I have a
- 14:52Speaker 1: few stories.
- 14:53Speaker 2: I have more than let's let's let's get into the stories.
- 14:55Speaker 2: Like I said, if I was to go over in
- 14:56Speaker 2: the morning, to me, it would be Jerry McBride on
- 14:57Speaker 2: the marquee of someplace and not for not to as well, Tom,
- 15:01Speaker 2: you might not get it. You might not get Oh okay,
- 15:03Speaker 2: So my show was tonight at eight o'clock, where people
- 15:05Speaker 2: would naturally be going out for comedy and maybe out
- 15:08Speaker 2: for a pint and a couple of and a feed
- 15:09Speaker 2: and we see a show and go home. Not the case.
- 15:12Speaker 2: I was over there, and god love it. Those lads
- 15:14Speaker 2: running shows at half ten in the morning. Yeah, those
- 15:16Speaker 2: lads running shows at half one at night over micro bars.
- 15:20Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, one.
- 15:22Speaker 2: Of them by some mem Hey hit me with your stories, buddy.
- 15:24Speaker 1: I did you you'd see it. But the thing is,
- 15:26Speaker 1: it's not like a normal day in the city either.
- 15:28Speaker 1: People physically come from all over Europe and right there,
- 15:32Speaker 1: I say, the world at certain points and purposely take
- 15:34Speaker 1: a three four day visit to Edinburgh for it. And
- 15:37Speaker 1: they know I'm going to get in five shows a
- 15:39Speaker 1: day and a good batter and different I'm gonna I'm
- 15:43Speaker 1: going going to five Yeah, people do it. People are
- 15:47Speaker 1: have been really big comedy fans three years, but I
- 15:49Speaker 1: I one particular year with just to talk. I did
- 15:52Speaker 1: want and a much like that. It's a great venue
- 15:54Speaker 1: called the Pear Tree. It's a huge, big beer garden
- 15:57Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and they have what it's almost
- 16:00Speaker 1: like a pub in the sense if anybody watched a
- 16:02Speaker 1: baby rein there, like there's there right.
- 16:06Speaker 2: Yes.
- 16:07Speaker 1: At first glance, at first glanced to where I thought
- 16:10Speaker 1: it was, I was like, oh Jesus Christ, I'm halfway
- 16:13Speaker 1: to Aberdeen here. This is not the city center that.
- 16:16Speaker 1: But when I got there, I went, oh, no, this
- 16:18Speaker 1: is actually I just walked the Hogwarks Way to it
- 16:20Speaker 1: and ended up going walking nine times further, and I
- 16:22Speaker 1: should have. But it's great that there was four or
- 16:25Speaker 1: five venues in it, more maybe maybe six venues in it,
- 16:27Speaker 1: and all you know rooms. I took an I took
- 16:30Speaker 1: an attic room which held about fifty people, about fifty
- 16:34Speaker 1: to fifty five people, which if I could do that,
- 16:36Speaker 1: and I was doing all right. The only problem was
- 16:40Speaker 1: it was half nine. It was half nine or ten o'clock.
- 16:44Speaker 1: It wasn't too late, but it was late enough.
- 16:46Speaker 2: It was okay, okay.
- 16:47Speaker 1: People would come in with a bit of sauce on right,
- 16:49Speaker 1: Ye all fine. I was able to handle it. What
- 16:52Speaker 1: I couldn't handle chair was straight across the landing from
- 16:55Speaker 1: me was a bunch of art students, lads and cup
- 16:59Speaker 1: up from England. I think they were all called and
- 17:01Speaker 1: I swear in my life there was definitely which was
- 17:04Speaker 1: hilarious at the time for me. If you remember the
- 17:06Speaker 1: character I played in TV one was called Torquin. There
- 17:10Speaker 1: was two tombs in the group which killed me. And
- 17:14Speaker 1: there was like, you know, a Toby and like a raffie,
- 17:17Speaker 1: you know. And they did musical comedy, sketch comedy through
- 17:21Speaker 1: the medium, hold on to You're a Bircher Sardar of
- 17:25Speaker 1: Yuka fucking ladies. Yeah now, thank god, Thank god Tom,
- 17:35Speaker 1: because for night one I had my audience work snapping
- 17:38Speaker 1: because they'd only like four in either packed room. In
- 17:40Speaker 1: my audience. Every five minutes i'd get him to go
- 17:43Speaker 1: shut the fuck up because the lads were playing to
- 17:45Speaker 1: nobody and they were like and I saw some of
- 17:48Speaker 1: their show, it was delightfully dreadful, But all the problem
- 17:52Speaker 1: was because it was just an actic room. All they'd
- 17:55Speaker 1: done was hang curtains at the doorway. They hadn't it
- 17:58Speaker 1: was probably a storage room the rest of the time.
- 18:00Speaker 1: They didn't need a door on it. So day two
- 18:04Speaker 1: I found an actual storage room, a little tiny thing
- 18:07Speaker 1: that had a similar sized door. I went and bought
- 18:10Speaker 1: Phillips head screwdriverre and I reattached it every time my
- 18:17Speaker 1: show finished and put it back on and took it off.
- 18:20Speaker 1: So nobody went, oh, you know, because other people had
- 18:23Speaker 1: other people Oh god, yeah, it was like five stories up.
- 18:26Speaker 1: But other people use your room throughout the time slots too.
- 18:29Speaker 1: She would have grasped me up by thanking them and got, oh,
- 18:32Speaker 1: thanks you so much for putting a fucking door, And
- 18:34Speaker 1: I'm like, what, but I did. I would take the
- 18:37Speaker 1: door off, and I did that for like twenty four
- 18:39Speaker 1: days or something, and I put the door back on.
- 18:42Speaker 1: I mean it was fairly like the treads, but you know,
- 18:46Speaker 1: there wasn't much left in the fucking door frame by
- 18:47Speaker 1: the time I was done JR. Yeah, at least, yes,
- 18:50Speaker 1: we did have the heat every night, but we didn't
- 18:55Speaker 1: have ukuleles absolutely fucking melting everybody's brain.
- 18:59Speaker 2: That's that's that's what it is, like. It's very you know,
- 19:02Speaker 2: it's not the Edinburgh Comedy Festival it's the Edinburgh Arts Festival, right,
- 19:06Speaker 2: I'm right, yeah right, yeah, yeah yeah, and and and
- 19:09Speaker 2: to that point, to Tom's point there, Now, he could
- 19:11Speaker 2: be up talent jokes, wonderful jokes, Tom, don't you know, good,
- 19:16Speaker 2: good storytelling skills and all that. But you could be
- 19:19Speaker 2: across the way from a guy whose full one hour
- 19:21Speaker 2: show is screaming into a pint glass for an hour,
- 19:25Speaker 2: just making this sort of like, oh, oh, I know
- 19:29Speaker 2: a second verse.
- 19:32Speaker 1: Let me give you that's his whole show. Let me
- 19:34Speaker 1: give you an example of the things that this would
- 19:36Speaker 1: boil your blood. So one of the sellout acts of
- 19:40Speaker 1: the of the Free Fringe based on his his name
- 19:46Speaker 1: was the Chap who played Geoffrey in Game of Thrones's Irish.
- 19:49Speaker 2: Actor course, Oh yeah, little Gleason, isn't he?
- 19:52Speaker 1: Yeah, push yeah, and Jack Gleason.
- 19:57Speaker 2: There we go.
- 19:57Speaker 1: He did an art installation I saw all I can
- 20:00Speaker 1: call it during the day because he did a show,
- 20:02Speaker 1: an improv show in the evening with another actor, Chap
- 20:05Speaker 1: who I think then I think ended up in one
- 20:06Speaker 1: of those you know, those those ripoffs of basically Lord
- 20:10Speaker 1: of the Rings Game of Throne style things, you know,
- 20:12Speaker 1: like the Seven circles of Inusville or something, you know
- 20:15Speaker 1: what I mean, one of these. But he in this
- 20:18Speaker 1: particular during the day, and people applaud him for being
- 20:21Speaker 1: a genius. He rented out a prime spot with a
- 20:25Speaker 1: big glass window, dressed as a cat for an hour
- 20:31Speaker 1: and just dandered around the room as a cat so
- 20:34Speaker 1: people could watch him through the window. I can see
- 20:36Speaker 1: the blood pressure coming up on jar Geror's face here now,
- 20:40Speaker 1: and I like, you know.
- 20:41Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you, Tom, I don't begrudge anybody
- 20:43Speaker 2: that can make a living from the arts. Well, I'm
- 20:46Speaker 2: going to tell you one thing, buddy, there's a lot
- 20:48Speaker 2: I just do not.
- 20:49Speaker 1: Yet that's just scutting.
- 20:51Speaker 3: Now.
- 20:52Speaker 1: People would applaud it. People would deployed him looking himself like.
- 20:54Speaker 2: Oh, excellent cat, wonderful catwork. I was transfixed by the
- 20:58Speaker 2: cat working.
- 20:58Speaker 1: I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, you won't get you want see.
- 21:00Speaker 1: Can't work like that all the time.
- 21:01Speaker 2: I'll tell you now, some dinner party, you'll be like, oh,
- 21:06Speaker 2: Jack Gleeson, do you know have you ever heard of
- 21:07Speaker 2: the Irish actor Jack Gleeson?
- 21:09Speaker 3: Oh?
- 21:09Speaker 2: Yes, I've seen him perform Cat in Edinburgh at Fringe
- 21:12Speaker 2: ten years ago. It was amazing. There a funk off right.
- 21:17Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you because you said sometimes
- 21:19Speaker 1: a fellow can be barking into a jar and that's
- 21:21Speaker 1: his that's his act. I got caught up. You need
- 21:24Speaker 1: to be careful of this too. Read the situation. You
- 21:28Speaker 1: can be overly nice because you're going to get flyed
- 21:30Speaker 1: by people and the Irish lads. The Brits do not
- 21:33Speaker 1: like the Irish lads in how they operate, because there'll
- 21:36Speaker 1: be a big Irish flag on it, there will be
- 21:37Speaker 1: Irish written on it somewhere, and invariably you have an
- 21:40Speaker 1: upper hand. You just do you have an opper hand.
- 21:42Speaker 2: But you're in Scotland.
- 21:44Speaker 1: Well no, regardless, even British punters will go, well, he's
- 21:48Speaker 1: going to be funny. He or she is funny, typically
- 21:51Speaker 1: completely fucking wrong.
- 21:53Speaker 2: Yeah, I could, I could give you. I could furnish
- 21:56Speaker 2: you with a Sweden names Tom.
- 22:00Speaker 1: I got this particular year. My show was on early enough,
- 22:02Speaker 1: it was like a three o'clock show or something, three
- 22:04Speaker 1: or four o'clock show. I got done and I think
- 22:07Speaker 1: I was waiting around for a couple others in a
- 22:09Speaker 1: bar well known to a lot of people called Finnigan's Wake.
- 22:11Speaker 1: And there's a great room in the back of Finnigan's
- 22:13Speaker 1: Wake about a sixty seater or max sixty seater or
- 22:16Speaker 1: but perfect position in a very popular PubL and a
- 22:18Speaker 1: great part of the city. You should have no problem
- 22:21Speaker 1: filling it, you know that kind of way, right? This
- 22:23Speaker 1: couple who are doing a two hundred to call it
- 22:25Speaker 1: so a half an hour each because they're relatively new.
- 22:28Speaker 1: I did it myself and I'm having a cut price,
- 22:33Speaker 1: artist priced beer. I don't know who I was waiting on,
- 22:36Speaker 1: but I had some time to kill and there was
- 22:37Speaker 1: no point heading back to the apartment. And this chap
- 22:40Speaker 1: comes up to me and he says, would you come
- 22:41Speaker 1: into our shows?
- 22:43Speaker 2: You know what?
- 22:44Speaker 1: Man? I just finished my own and he goes, it
- 22:47Speaker 1: looks like we're short numbers, you know. And then his
- 22:50Speaker 1: partner in crime is woman came over and she said,
- 22:53Speaker 1: would you and I the niceness in me went o,
- 22:56Speaker 1: I'm full of the beans now, and I yeah, I will,
- 22:59Speaker 1: I will because it seems this will be interesting at
- 23:02Speaker 1: least will be interesting. I had a great gig myself.
- 23:04Speaker 1: I'm in great form, so listen, let's you know, let's
- 23:08Speaker 1: go in right now.
- 23:09Speaker 2: Let's do it.
- 23:11Speaker 1: They asked me to sit up front. I'm like, Jesus Christ,
- 23:13Speaker 1: you really have low expectations in the numbers here. And
- 23:15Speaker 1: they were right. They were right in their expectations. Chair.
- 23:18Speaker 1: These people read the tea leaves and knew that there
- 23:19Speaker 1: was going to be about eight people behind me down
- 23:21Speaker 1: in the back row and me sitting in the front
- 23:23Speaker 1: row with a packet of monster munches and two pints
- 23:27Speaker 1: underneath my mind chair chure that was where the phone ended,
- 23:32Speaker 1: the monster munch. Because this chat came out on stage
- 23:37Speaker 1: and did a half an hour on the harrowing ah life.
- 23:42Speaker 1: He's been leading suffering from male bolimia, and he did
- 23:47Speaker 1: that solid and I mean no, I.
- 23:51Speaker 2: Mean listen, I mean there's it's a rough subject and
- 23:54Speaker 2: I would be interested to see how he would mind
- 23:58Speaker 2: comedy from that. He take a skilled man. No, I'm
- 24:02Speaker 2: not saying it's impossible.
- 24:03Speaker 1: He no, and it's not impossible. There's loads of dark
- 24:06Speaker 1: jokes in there.
- 24:07Speaker 2: Yes, are you gonna have like, you know, my tailor
- 24:09Speaker 2: Survival or whatever the fuck it might be.
- 24:11Speaker 1: No, he just went straight up Ted talk.
- 24:13Speaker 2: Here we go, the Ted Talk, right, Okay, So he
- 24:16Speaker 2: misread the room, so he didn't. He miss leaned into the.
- 24:18Speaker 1: Fact read festival he me, and then I said, well,
- 24:23Speaker 1: the saving grace he gave gave a kind of a
- 24:25Speaker 1: nice end of the kind of okay, and Jesus Christ,
- 24:28Speaker 1: this is awkward and he's directing everything straight at me.
- 24:32Speaker 1: My pints have gone sour in my mouth. The monston't
- 24:35Speaker 1: just are no more use. Then she came out and
- 24:37Speaker 1: she was hilarious, okay, brilliant for forty five seconds, jair
- 24:42Speaker 1: until she hit us with the car crash. Literally that
- 24:45Speaker 1: how her boyfriend died, and not only that, but he
- 24:52Speaker 1: was they had had a torrented time with her racist
- 24:55Speaker 1: parents because he was black and she was white, and
- 24:57Speaker 1: that he died in a car accident, and that I
- 25:00Speaker 1: mean another half an hour of therapy, I mean therapy,
- 25:06Speaker 1: and Jesus I mean I didn't go to a singlemore
- 25:09Speaker 1: show at a single show other than anybody I knew
- 25:12Speaker 1: for the rest of the festival. After that, I was
- 25:13Speaker 1: so scared from it. It was scandless behavior to trick
- 25:16Speaker 1: me into that shit.
- 25:17Speaker 2: I mean, if if you're if you're going to shows
- 25:20Speaker 2: over in Edinburgh and you get flired, I would say,
- 25:22Speaker 2: read those flyers carefully and in this day and age
- 25:26Speaker 2: of the internet, do a quick little google, because not
- 25:28Speaker 2: every show is for you, and uh not everybody's a
- 25:32Speaker 2: seasoned comedian, and as it appears, Tom, not everybody's a
- 25:35Speaker 2: comedian at all. You could be just walking into a
- 25:37Speaker 2: half hour therapy session, which you know what, you know,
- 25:40Speaker 2: that could be that could be the Hey, who's to
- 25:42Speaker 2: say that's not going to be the next fleabag? You
- 25:45Speaker 2: know what I mean?
- 25:46Speaker 1: Listen, Baby Rain there was the biggest load of shit
- 25:48Speaker 1: of an actual stage show. I remember. I remember that
- 25:51Speaker 1: on the goal, you know, prior to him as his acts,
- 25:54Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It was terrible stuff. But
- 25:56Speaker 1: then when he actually developed this one man play called
- 25:59Speaker 1: Baby rein theer telling the actual story of how he
- 26:01Speaker 1: was a shy comic. Yeah, it was a great story.
- 26:04Speaker 1: But I'm not all these gigs are like I had.
- 26:09Speaker 1: I remember getting outside that that that poetry one. It
- 26:13Speaker 1: was one of the most late. It was one of those.
- 26:16Speaker 1: It was those you'd call it a road to Damascus coming.
- 26:19Speaker 1: It was coming to Jesus moment where the entire audience
- 26:22Speaker 1: went left the room. I'd put the door backward. It's
- 26:24Speaker 1: supposed to be backed up me bag was delighted with
- 26:27Speaker 1: the lovely show and walked downstairs and the entire audience
- 26:30Speaker 1: had had a conflab. Didn't all know each other, but
- 26:32Speaker 1: the entire audience waited outside the door of the actual building.
- 26:36Speaker 1: I gave me a stand, I give me an ovation
- 26:37Speaker 1: as I walked out. It's nice, it was, do you
- 26:40Speaker 1: know what?
- 26:40Speaker 2: And maybe they were going to hammer the shinity or something. No.
- 26:44Speaker 1: And the same night I went across the road to
- 26:47Speaker 1: a bar. I said I'll have a quick drink because
- 26:49Speaker 1: I was, I mean busted with the tiredness, but I
- 26:51Speaker 1: said I'm gonna have a quick drink. And at the time,
- 26:54Speaker 1: my hair was because of the TV show thing I
- 26:57Speaker 1: was doing, had kind of bleachy streaky things that I'd
- 27:00Speaker 1: out most of it, but there was still some in it.
- 27:02Speaker 1: And somebody heard my accent, knew kind of picked up
- 27:06Speaker 1: that I was a comedian, and they were so British
- 27:08Speaker 1: that they went, you must be Jason Byrne. I went, what, Yeah,
- 27:13Speaker 1: I'm Jason Barne jokingly, and because Jason Burne's about six
- 27:18Speaker 1: foot two for one, he's from Doublin Gordon here and
- 27:21Speaker 1: I just went, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm Jason Barne. They went,
- 27:24Speaker 1: can I buy you a drink? I went, by, Jesus,
- 27:26Speaker 1: you can this couple they bought me a drink and
- 27:29Speaker 1: I found a tenor on the way home. I actually
- 27:31Speaker 1: text Jason Barne about any went that sounds like one
- 27:34Speaker 1: of the best nights you will ever have because.
- 27:39Speaker 2: On the way home.
- 27:40Speaker 1: But they're not all rosy in the garden, and sometimes
- 27:43Speaker 1: you could quit comedy as a result of being over there.
- 27:46Speaker 1: Jar because my very very very you want to hear
- 27:48Speaker 1: about my very first gig at the Edinburgh Friend please.
- 27:52Speaker 1: I took a room a half and half two handed
- 27:55Speaker 1: with northern comedian called Sean Haggerty half an hour each, yes,
- 28:00Speaker 1: and we'd alternate and I went on first. And this
- 28:03Speaker 1: one particular night it was actually pre the French It
- 28:05Speaker 1: was pre kicking off. Some people were putting on shows
- 28:07Speaker 1: to kind of preview, try and run get their their
- 28:10Speaker 1: their hour run. I did this. We did the same.
- 28:14Speaker 1: We started like on the first or the second, and
- 28:17Speaker 1: then it was wasn't officially kicking off until the fourth.
- 28:20Speaker 1: And this particular room, it was under a cafe just
- 28:23Speaker 1: after Royal my great spot. But we don't about We're
- 28:26Speaker 1: only about twelve ringer of a room of about eighty.
- 28:29Speaker 2: We don't even you know, for previews.
- 28:30Speaker 1: That's it was the middle of the day. It was
- 28:33Speaker 1: like a three three thirty gig or something like that.
- 28:36Speaker 1: And I'll remember, never forget my girlfriend at the time,
- 28:38Speaker 1: and now wife came with me and I was like,
- 28:41Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe you'll help fly
- 28:42Speaker 1: her for a couple of a week or two and
- 28:44Speaker 1: then you can head away or whatever. She's like, yeah, cool.
- 28:46Speaker 1: So she came over and she said.
- 28:47Speaker 2: We put our women through a lot, don't we know?
- 28:49Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. This was I mean, how she didn't walk
- 28:52Speaker 1: herself at the time. Like I get up there and
- 28:53Speaker 1: I had I had what I you know, let's be honest.
- 28:57Speaker 1: It was a half an hour of a guy don't
- 28:59Speaker 1: stand up maybe three four years I know what.
- 29:02Speaker 2: The was doing at the time.
- 29:04Speaker 1: It was laffy laffy stuff. And it worked, do you
- 29:07Speaker 1: know what I mean? It worked. It was not going
- 29:08Speaker 1: to you know, it wasn't groundbreaking stuff. It worked. Here.
- 29:12Speaker 1: I got up there, I start into it. We're going, okay.
- 29:15Speaker 1: I kind of addressed the fact that it's a small
- 29:17Speaker 1: room and yeah, look we're gonna have a good time together.
- 29:20Speaker 1: If this is okay, can we all get And people
- 29:22Speaker 1: were lovely, they were lovely. I'm about six minutes in.
- 29:26Speaker 1: They're chucked. They're laughing along, middle of the days, a
- 29:28Speaker 1: bit hot, be warm, and they're now. Then all of
- 29:31Speaker 1: a sudden, I hear there must be some somebody laughing on,
- 29:38Speaker 1: you know, laughing on.
- 29:39Speaker 2: I was just getting it there on the uptake there.
- 29:43Speaker 1: And I push into another bit and you know, people
- 29:46Speaker 1: are laughing along. But then as the laughter dies down,
- 29:48Speaker 1: and you know, for the that bridge between laughter and laughter,
- 29:52Speaker 1: I'm chatting and I can hear I went, so, for Jesus,
- 30:00Speaker 1: somebody's crying. Somebody's crying. We've got a crier on that Tuesday.
- 30:05Speaker 1: What's happening here? Am I? I said? Is that somebody
- 30:10Speaker 1: is somebody crying? And I see this woman bunched over.
- 30:13Speaker 1: I am crying.
- 30:14Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 30:14Speaker 1: I want to cry. Well, yeah, of course you're out
- 30:18Speaker 1: to cry. It's tears of laughter. I'm all right, is
- 30:20Speaker 1: this thing on?
- 30:21Speaker 2: You know?
- 30:22Speaker 1: And people are going, Jesus Christ in fairness, they're with
- 30:25Speaker 1: me because they're going. I don't know how I would
- 30:27Speaker 1: you could see, I wouldn't know how I would handle this.
- 30:30Speaker 1: She's down there, okay, I mean okay, and you I
- 30:36Speaker 1: want you do yourself. I'm unemployed, right the face tattoo
- 30:41Speaker 1: would tell lovely lovely, and you're a you a local woman?
- 30:45Speaker 2: You are you?
- 30:46Speaker 1: I am local? Just in the room, No, lovely, lovely lovely?
- 30:51Speaker 1: And hey, what is it? I gotta ask, what's what's up?
- 30:56Speaker 2: You know?
- 30:57Speaker 1: Is it the Irish things I was bothering with? Hot
- 30:59Speaker 1: and here, get you an ice cream from upstairs?
- 31:01Speaker 3: With that?
- 31:02Speaker 2: You know.
- 31:04Speaker 1: Your fallows mons month's mind. I went, I'm so sorry
- 31:07Speaker 1: to hear that. I'm so sorry, and not as a comedian.
- 31:09Speaker 1: There's sumostly a follow up question, but I don't want
- 31:11Speaker 1: to follow up, but I went, you know what, I'm
- 31:14Speaker 1: so sorry, and if you would, you know, if you
- 31:16Speaker 1: want to take a minute and just step out for
- 31:18Speaker 1: a second, no problem. You can come back in whenever
- 31:20Speaker 1: you want. And I can see my girlfriend kind of
- 31:22Speaker 1: go heading over towards her.
- 31:23Speaker 3: I'm like, even stabbed. I said, the door to this place,
- 31:28Speaker 3: and I just thought it'd be only right to come in,
- 31:31Speaker 3: as fucking christ. I'm trying to touch jokes here and
- 31:34Speaker 3: this is I'm doing the quick version. She dragged us
- 31:38Speaker 3: over five six minutes. I've just chirping in every so
- 31:41Speaker 3: often as to what the next Dooseph Horror was.
- 31:43Speaker 1: Going to fucking be. Yeah, I'm God, Jesus Christ might
- 31:47Speaker 1: Why why am I doing this to myself? Why am
- 31:50Speaker 1: I doing this to myself?
- 31:52Speaker 2: I've got a month of this to come, and you
- 31:53Speaker 2: know what I want to tell you to I'm like,
- 31:55Speaker 2: you know, if that was the day, if anybody's listening
- 31:57Speaker 2: to this and you've grown up on party second Instagram
- 32:02Speaker 2: reels of Comedian destroyers heckler, comedian does this, that and
- 32:06Speaker 2: the other, and you're expecting, like you know, Tom to
- 32:08Speaker 2: turn this around into witty, snappy kind of thing. No,
- 32:13Speaker 2: that's not that's not the reality of it. In actual fact,
- 32:16Speaker 2: this would be a YouTube video called Comedian gets smashed
- 32:18Speaker 2: in the face with a glass because he tried to
- 32:20Speaker 2: get too smart with a woman who was crying over
- 32:22Speaker 2: her father who was stabbed outside this very venue. I mean,
- 32:27Speaker 2: and now I get Hella likes Tom.
- 32:29Speaker 1: To be fair, I could probably do something with it now,
- 32:31Speaker 1: but let's be honest, the training wheels were still on.
- 32:33Speaker 1: I had no idea what I was doing, and find
- 32:35Speaker 1: me even I've told this the season's comedians, and they've gone, yeah,
- 32:39Speaker 1: I have no idea.
- 32:41Speaker 2: Some of these You just let them sit and move
- 32:43Speaker 2: on about your business.
- 32:44Speaker 1: And my wife got her out of the venue. She
- 32:46Speaker 1: was like, and we got it back on track, right,
- 32:49Speaker 1: And I thought her, oh great, she's taking her out
- 32:50Speaker 1: onto the street. She sent her away or put her
- 32:52Speaker 1: upstairs for a coffee or something. I'm back on track.
- 32:54Speaker 1: I'm going shrewsh you know, colourpool kind of a woo. Yeah,
- 32:57Speaker 1: and everybody's gone high no, right, anyway, do you want
- 32:59Speaker 1: to go back to the joking jokes? And I've got like,
- 33:01Speaker 1: I've got maybe seven or eight minutes left. I'm going,
- 33:04Speaker 1: you know what, let's do it. Let's have a good,
- 33:06Speaker 1: a great time. Anyway. So, like I was saying, and
- 33:09Speaker 1: all I can hear from outside the fucking doors.
- 33:18Speaker 2: Oh, she's just keening outside the front door.
- 33:22Speaker 1: She couldn't get her, like she was welded to the
- 33:26Speaker 1: ground right outside the door of the venue.
- 33:28Speaker 2: Like.
- 33:28Speaker 1: And it was a basement one, so there was no
- 33:30Speaker 1: road noise. It was beautiful venue. But there was a
- 33:32Speaker 1: little foye right outside. Oh Jesus Christ, And she me, yeah,
- 33:38Speaker 1: and here's here's where here's people were so nice they
- 33:42Speaker 1: put money in the bucket and neverthing afterwards. The high
- 33:44Speaker 1: five minute like that was fucking yeah, and it goes
- 33:48Speaker 1: in fairness, we're going to talk about this everywhere we
- 33:50Speaker 1: go because this is going to be unbelieving. I was like,
- 33:52Speaker 1: I know, Jesus Christ, the whole thing's turned around, you know,
- 33:54Speaker 1: And the woman was gone at this stage. Two days later,
- 33:57Speaker 1: I see somebody sends me on a review. Somebody had
- 34:00Speaker 1: reviewed that. There was a reviewer, was one of the
- 34:02Speaker 1: other twelve in the room, Like, what's a reviewer doing
- 34:05Speaker 1: in pre the festival?
- 34:07Speaker 3: Anyway?
- 34:08Speaker 1: Turns out this reviewer was actually wrote for some horticulture newspaper,
- 34:13Speaker 1: but they actually brought him. They bring in anybody who
- 34:16Speaker 1: can actually put a sentence together, and they opened their
- 34:19Speaker 1: opening thing was, oh man, he didn't even look doesn't
- 34:21Speaker 1: even look like a comedian.
- 34:23Speaker 2: I was like, Jesus Christ, which is lies town right away?
- 34:28Speaker 2: I know I know that jar but Jesus looked like
- 34:31Speaker 2: an accountant body. You know.
- 34:33Speaker 1: It's like, come on, Jesus Christ. I just went through
- 34:37Speaker 1: Hell week, like the real one, not the celebrity one.
- 34:40Speaker 1: I went through buds. I got out the other side
- 34:44Speaker 1: I have my steel. They actually hammered that wing wing
- 34:47Speaker 1: the wing badge into my chest like that is what good?
- 34:51Speaker 1: Bat are indifferent? You survived that and you stuck around
- 34:54Speaker 1: and then this motherfucker comes out from the bushes with
- 34:57Speaker 1: like one of his piano wires and two bits of
- 34:59Speaker 1: stick and just wraps around my neck.
- 35:01Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, you're getting like whistled and arrow whistling
- 35:05Speaker 2: through your neck that you've never seen before in your life.
- 35:07Speaker 2: It's like my money there, fin skinned, what's.
- 35:13Speaker 1: With this guy? Actually never come across this before.
- 35:18Speaker 2: But then again, I gotta tell you one thing that
- 35:20Speaker 2: is the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Tom, and I'll tell you
- 35:23Speaker 2: what you knew what to do with a woman grieving
- 35:24Speaker 2: her father's month's mind directly outside the window of your
- 35:28Speaker 2: venue going forward? Surely?
- 35:30Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean ten times has happened since I've literally.
- 35:33Speaker 2: That's that stealed you for them up north? Oh? By god, well, listen,
- 35:39Speaker 2: do you know what I was gonna say. If there's
- 35:42Speaker 2: any listeners out there that have performed in the Edinburgh
- 35:44Speaker 2: Finish Festival, no comedians listen to us. We're a better sort.
- 35:47Speaker 2: We don't support each other by listening to podcast. But
- 35:50Speaker 2: if you've ever been to the Edinburgh Finish Festival, is
- 35:54Speaker 2: you know as an audience member.
- 35:57Speaker 1: What's the horror show? I could literally sit here for
- 36:00Speaker 1: you know, I could sit here for three hours and
- 36:02Speaker 1: tell you all the horror shows that have come across
- 36:04Speaker 1: not just me, but things I've seen and it's just ye.
- 36:07Speaker 1: But it is well worth going, I would say, if
- 36:09Speaker 1: you've got to take if you want to take a
- 36:10Speaker 1: three day visit, it's a cool it is a cool city.
- 36:13Speaker 1: Three days, beautiful, go see as many shows as you can.
- 36:15Speaker 1: You're gonna smile, You're gonna see some mad shit, You're
- 36:18Speaker 1: gonna see some whose moments. But it's it is content filled,
- 36:25Speaker 1: shall we say, for your action, not for not for
- 36:27Speaker 1: your not for your Instagram reels, for your actual eyes
- 36:31Speaker 1: and years. You're going to have some good times and.
- 36:33Speaker 2: Think of the money you're gonna save on suntan lotion. Right,
- 36:37Speaker 2: come here to me, Tom. Let's move it on, ladies, gentlemen,
- 36:41Speaker 2: We're gonna go on to our next segment of the show.
- 36:43Speaker 2: It's like a two hand or Edinburgh, don't you know,
- 36:45Speaker 2: Like we have that one part of the show and
- 36:46Speaker 2: then we have another week bit and then we will
- 36:48Speaker 2: a wee bit and then we all go home out
- 36:49Speaker 2: with that.
- 36:50Speaker 1: I like it. I like that.
- 36:51Speaker 2: Okay, So Tom, that was your experiences in the Edinburgh
- 36:54Speaker 2: Fringe Festival. I've had my experiences in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
- 36:57Speaker 2: That one time I went was a guy whose a whole,
- 37:00Speaker 2: it has to be said, was out in the street
- 37:02Speaker 2: with his head in a bucket. That was it, and
- 37:04Speaker 2: jeans heading a bucket upside down in a bucket. It
- 37:07Speaker 2: must be said, Ah, hey, that's that guy. That's his
- 37:11Speaker 2: still Okay, but even that guy, you won't talk about
- 37:15Speaker 2: him like, oh, he's that gay. Every now and then
- 37:17Speaker 2: there's someone you talk about it and you're like, oh,
- 37:20Speaker 2: and there's this this lady. Yes, this lad this segment.
- 37:27Speaker 2: Tom has always been kind of floaty. Anybody can be
- 37:30Speaker 2: this lad man, woman, dog, animal, vegetable, mineral And who
- 37:34Speaker 2: are we ascribing this lad to this week? Well, it's
- 37:37Speaker 2: a product, yeah, yeah, and you know it's it's kind
- 37:41Speaker 2: of like a joint. It's kind of like a joint winners,
- 37:43Speaker 2: you know what I mean. It's not just the product,
- 37:45Speaker 2: it's the shop that's bringing us.
- 37:47Speaker 1: To the product.
- 37:47Speaker 2: And the product should be very familiar to longtime listeners
- 37:50Speaker 2: of the Tom and Jerry Show.
- 37:52Speaker 1: Do you know what it should be? But it's not
- 37:53Speaker 1: familiar enough to me because I've yet to taste it.
- 37:56Speaker 1: I've yet to taste You tasted it with me, brother,
- 37:59Speaker 1: did it?
- 38:01Speaker 2: I did?
- 38:02Speaker 1: It was delicious, actually, if I remember it was actually
- 38:05Speaker 1: it's wow.
- 38:06Speaker 2: It's it's I will forgive you for forgetting the taste
- 38:09Speaker 2: of it because it does tend to kill memory cells
- 38:14Speaker 2: every now and then.
- 38:15Speaker 1: It's it's like something that the Simpsons would have invented that.
- 38:20Speaker 2: The product we are talking about, ladies and gentlemen is
- 38:23Speaker 2: mcdaid's Football Special, a soft drink from the fine folks
- 38:29Speaker 2: in Douneygal, which finally got picked up for nationwide distribution.
- 38:34Speaker 1: By Little Yeah Little. Do you know what it's? I'm
- 38:39Speaker 1: nearly in one way, I'm delighted, although as we were
- 38:41Speaker 1: talking beforehand, it isn't then my local legal yet. I'm
- 38:44Speaker 1: hoping it'll get.
- 38:45Speaker 2: There, but I'd hope to go down and get a
- 38:47Speaker 2: bottler kind of it for the show tonight.
- 38:49Speaker 1: In fairness, there's something kind of sad sellouty about it
- 38:53Speaker 1: in a way that it could only be gotten in
- 38:56Speaker 1: the northwest of the country, like in one little enclave
- 38:59Speaker 1: that's you know, the hills of doney Gall, and they
- 39:01Speaker 1: build the wall around it, kind of thing like its
- 39:03Speaker 1: own little seceded union was up there doing Nordy things,
- 39:09Speaker 1: but they weren't actually Nordis, if you know what I mean.
- 39:11Speaker 1: And they had their own minermal drink. I know, you
- 39:16Speaker 1: know it's out.
- 39:18Speaker 2: They've left it out now, like you know it's you
- 39:22Speaker 2: can't put the Football Special back in the bottle.
- 39:24Speaker 1: You cannot. You can't put the shite back in the horse.
- 39:26Speaker 2: This is it Football Special? Well, let's get into it. Okay,
- 39:30Speaker 2: let's get into it. Football Special is a drink made
- 39:32Speaker 2: by a company from cal mcdade's and we used to
- 39:35Speaker 2: get the odd drop of it down and Monaghan like,
- 39:38Speaker 2: and that would be from Doneygall to Monoon. You might
- 39:41Speaker 2: see it in the odd shop now and then not
- 39:43Speaker 2: a supermarket. And I'm talking a long ass time ago. Okay.
- 39:48Speaker 2: They also do another drink called.
- 39:51Speaker 1: They have a Banana one.
- 39:52Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I've yet to taste that all right now.
- 39:55Speaker 2: So we're gonna we're gonna figure that one out as
- 39:56Speaker 2: we go forward. But the Football Special, I've had that
- 39:58Speaker 2: a whole bunch of times, and it is. People ask
- 40:01Speaker 2: what does it taste like? Tom? It tastes like Football Special.
- 40:06Speaker 1: Yeah, it's exactly that. It's like, well, what does purple
- 40:09Speaker 1: taste like purple?
- 40:10Speaker 2: What does iron? What does iron brew taste like? Well,
- 40:12Speaker 2: it tastes like ironbrew. What can I tell you? There's
- 40:15Speaker 2: not orange flavor, there's no pineapple, it's not raspberry, it's
- 40:18Speaker 2: not a mix of that. It's just special.
- 40:22Speaker 1: It's one of the Yeah, it's one of those very
- 40:24Speaker 1: few things you just can't It doesn't have a comparison
- 40:27Speaker 1: much like Jedwards. Do you know, there's nothing you can
- 40:31Speaker 1: compare them to. To other pilots, maybe, but it's Football
- 40:36Speaker 1: Special is doing its own thing. And I I and
- 40:39Speaker 1: the fact that it was only sold in one county.
- 40:42Speaker 2: I love that.
- 40:43Speaker 1: I loved it in the exclusivity of it. Do you
- 40:45Speaker 1: know what I mean?
- 40:46Speaker 2: Do you know what? Yes? I mean, Like, here's the thing, Tom, Right,
- 40:52Speaker 2: you can't you can't fight city Hall. You know what
- 40:54Speaker 2: I mean. You can't fight big business, all right? I know,
- 40:56Speaker 2: I know, And I'm going to tell you now for
- 40:59Speaker 2: for a company that made this drink that achieved this
- 41:02Speaker 2: level of sort of infamy or notoriety or at least
- 41:05Speaker 2: curiosity among the public. Yeah, to finally hit a distribution
- 41:09Speaker 2: deal with a nationwide supermarket and get their product out
- 41:13Speaker 2: like this is some dragons then stuff, and I'm delighted
- 41:16Speaker 2: for them. It's finally cracked.
- 41:18Speaker 1: This is reggae, reggae sauce.
- 41:19Speaker 2: This is reggae sauce, only his football football Special, right.
- 41:24Speaker 2: I gotta tell you Tom straight and on a switch you.
- 41:27Speaker 2: I don't know why it's taken so long for this
- 41:29Speaker 2: to happen. I don't know why this wasn't done ten
- 41:31Speaker 2: years ago.
- 41:32Speaker 1: Oh you want to know why, Well please, because mcdaid's
- 41:35Speaker 1: are small players in the in the C and C
- 41:38Speaker 1: grouping and the Pepsi colas and the Coca colas. Do
- 41:41Speaker 1: you think they wanted them in a round? Do you
- 41:42Speaker 1: think as a rep you're going to be happy if
- 41:44Speaker 1: Football Special shows up alongside and it's already got nostalgia,
- 41:48Speaker 1: it's got notoriety, it's got curiosity, heritage, it's got curiosity,
- 41:52Speaker 1: it's now got you know, it's got mythology nearly wrapped
- 41:56Speaker 1: around it. Like I wanted to drink that up until
- 41:58Speaker 1: you get like, so.
- 42:00Speaker 2: You're telling me it got it got muscled out by
- 42:02Speaker 2: Big Cola.
- 42:03Speaker 1: One percent. That's this is no conspiracy, guys stuff. This
- 42:08Speaker 1: is one hundred percent what's happened. I know, I knew
- 42:10Speaker 1: reps of chocolate bar companies who would go. You ain't
- 42:14Speaker 1: put if you I'm telling you now, we see one
- 42:16Speaker 1: look at that stuff up on the shelf. You can
- 42:18Speaker 1: put that shite down by the firelighters down the back
- 42:20Speaker 1: if you want. But we're getting front and center. Or
- 42:23Speaker 1: we pull everything and.
- 42:25Speaker 2: You you you put a macro room bar up there
- 42:28Speaker 2: over my dead body.
- 42:29Speaker 1: One percent. A macaroom bar. Yeah, that's it's everything, the
- 42:35Speaker 1: CD everything is shady. You're the chocolate wars. It'd be guaranteed,
- 42:39Speaker 1: the fizzy pop wars.
- 42:41Speaker 2: No way. No, I had no idea the witch is brew.
- 42:45Speaker 2: I had on cork here, Tom. I thought we were
- 42:47Speaker 2: just going to spend five minutes congratulating mcdaide's for getting
- 42:50Speaker 2: on the shelves and Little and going about our business.
- 42:52Speaker 1: I don't know what wolf they hired to get that in,
- 42:58Speaker 1: because it's nobody. That's it's maybe legal took a punt
- 43:02Speaker 1: on them, and Little are so big they can go,
- 43:05Speaker 1: we can do what we want to. True be told
- 43:07Speaker 1: you can put your stuff on our shelf or not.
- 43:08Speaker 1: Nothing gets front and center. We call the shots. It's
- 43:12Speaker 1: not like your local spar or whatever this has to
- 43:14Speaker 1: that's a franchise. Legal is legal. And then go, we
- 43:18Speaker 1: don't care. We're gonna put it down.
- 43:19Speaker 2: That's so big they can do whatever the hell they want.
- 43:21Speaker 1: They could put it down with the saws and the
- 43:23Speaker 1: you know, the hammocks and still be able to sell.
- 43:26Speaker 2: That's why I couldn't get a bottle of it. He
- 43:29Speaker 2: look for all the other drinks where you need it,
- 43:31Speaker 2: we said, The cans of Kong Strong.
- 43:37Speaker 1: Sounds interestingly close to some other type of tape. It's
- 43:40Speaker 1: Kong Strong tape. Okay, that's where we're at. Okay, right,
- 43:44Speaker 1: just listen.
- 43:45Speaker 2: Here's the thing, right the way you're framing it there,
- 43:47Speaker 2: tom You're you're giving me pictures of like mcdaid's up
- 43:51Speaker 2: and done, all with wooden barrels of Football Special, and
- 43:53Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, rivals from an international coal
- 43:58Speaker 2: company come in and start hatchetting the bar ARLs and
- 44:00Speaker 2: spill it.
- 44:01Speaker 1: All wear striped suits and panama hats like.
- 44:03Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and Tommy Tommy guns and
- 44:07Speaker 2: smashing like don't you don't you competal on that around
- 44:11Speaker 2: here anymore?
- 44:11Speaker 1: See may by some fellas making football spesion bats at
- 44:16Speaker 1: the back, not another one.
- 44:19Speaker 2: I gotta I gotta tell you something about the the
- 44:22Speaker 2: advent of Football Special. If you see about the Football
- 44:24Speaker 2: Special in your local label, by all means, try it.
- 44:26Speaker 2: It's actually very nice. It was very nice when we
- 44:30Speaker 2: drank it a couple of years ago. That's easily ten
- 44:32Speaker 2: years ago when we had a bought the Football Special.
- 44:35Speaker 2: Uh it it's a brown liquid. I know, I'm not
- 44:39Speaker 2: doing nothing to sell it here now, but it's cold
- 44:41Speaker 2: as brown, cold as brown, brown like doctor pepper. It's
- 44:45Speaker 2: more like brown like lipped and tea. Nice.
- 44:48Speaker 1: Yeah, there is a transparency to it. You can see
- 44:51Speaker 1: through it.
- 44:51Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, gravy. Yeah yeah, you're not selling me. No,
- 44:55Speaker 2: it's not.
- 44:58Speaker 1: Like do you know when you step into a puddle
- 45:00Speaker 1: that's kind that you know, there's kind of.
- 45:03Speaker 2: Like a strong tea colored.
- 45:05Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's what it is when you drink tea
- 45:07Speaker 1: through you. Remember you call to those cousins that had
- 45:09Speaker 1: the Pirate X cups as well, Yeah true, yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 45:14Speaker 1: but cousins always seem to have these brown pirates cups like,
- 45:17Speaker 1: so that's that's what you're dealing with. But the fact
- 45:20Speaker 1: I had no idea. It was out since like the
- 45:22Speaker 1: fifties and sixties, and it was based around the reason
- 45:24Speaker 1: why I was brought it out. Now I don't know
- 45:26Speaker 1: it was the football is in soccer or was a
- 45:29Speaker 1: Gaelic football, But they were doing so well and they
- 45:31Speaker 1: were winning so many trophies that I'm guessing it was
- 45:33Speaker 1: a local curates or somebody stood in and went like,
- 45:35Speaker 1: you can't be putting booze into it every time to
- 45:37Speaker 1: drink out of it, and they developed mcdaide's developed this
- 45:40Speaker 1: soft drink to go look this and do and what.
- 45:43Speaker 1: But like you, it's a look it's not that we
- 45:46Speaker 1: both know Donny call is not a hurling stronghold. So
- 45:48Speaker 1: I'm guessing it's either Gaelic football or so I.
- 45:50Speaker 2: Would imagine I would I would imagine Gaelic football because
- 45:53Speaker 2: as you say yourself, that tomic goes back to the
- 45:55Speaker 2: nineteen forties. So this sligmam now here is like do
- 45:58Speaker 2: you quick sums? There one that can do quick something?
- 46:01Speaker 2: Ninety years old? Yeah, eighty five years old.
- 46:04Speaker 1: It took him that to get into legal, and since then.
- 46:08Speaker 2: It was the bust up. The tradition of after you
- 46:10Speaker 2: would win local championship or whatnot, you would drink from
- 46:15Speaker 2: the cup. You would drink alcohol from the cup. So
- 46:18Speaker 2: I just have wonderful images of these twelve year old
- 46:20Speaker 2: don't you all that it's just slushed drinking potchin out
- 46:23Speaker 2: of a cup? I did. I don't know if that.
- 46:25Speaker 2: I don't know, like these are repocable stories now, but
- 46:28Speaker 2: I know what, by our way, there were certain cups
- 46:32Speaker 2: that they drilled holes in the bottom of them so
- 46:35Speaker 2: that you couldn't drink out of them.
- 46:36Speaker 1: Really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
- 46:38Speaker 2: Because it was a bad luck to be drinking out
- 46:40Speaker 2: of the cup. Wise, just drank out of bottles.
- 46:43Speaker 1: Like our schools our schools cup that we want that.
- 46:46Speaker 1: I don't know if you ever mentioned it. The medals
- 46:47Speaker 1: over there somewhere anyway, it was just a controphy.
- 46:51Speaker 2: There was no but I mean, like you know, it's
- 46:54Speaker 2: just a trophy over trophy and lake. It's some craven
- 47:00Speaker 2: harmony here. But no, so they said, okay, well we
- 47:03Speaker 2: can't be drinking alcohol out of the cup, but what
- 47:05Speaker 2: can we drink out of the cup? And apparently someone said, well,
- 47:08Speaker 2: I'll mix you up a soft drink.
- 47:10Speaker 1: Do you know what now you talk about Nick?
- 47:12Speaker 2: You know, let's not drinking milk out of it.
- 47:14Speaker 1: And I wonder is there a market and could you
- 47:17Speaker 1: partner her up with mcdates or maybe they've thought about
- 47:20Speaker 1: themselves make making ice pops, making doing I mean, they're
- 47:25Speaker 1: never gonna they're never gonna come out and do their
- 47:27Speaker 1: own cock But there has to be a Doney call
- 47:29Speaker 1: cocktail of a football special cocktail. There has to be.
- 47:32Speaker 1: There has to be what would you There's gotta be right,
- 47:38Speaker 1: what would you put in it? Captain Morgan hang on
- 47:40Speaker 1: the second arm. We's got to have a sporty sounding name.
- 47:43Speaker 2: Rattling through my brain for a letter Kenny pond here, Yeah, yeah,
- 47:47Speaker 2: yeah yeah, a letter Kenny ice teak hair comedians there.
- 47:51Speaker 2: We've just put ourselves on the spot.
- 47:53Speaker 1: A letter, Kenny. I'm trying to think of places in
- 47:55Speaker 1: don't go. Yeah, it's just she's Glinty's stayed the glint. No,
- 47:59Speaker 1: there's nothing, I got nothing.
- 48:00Speaker 2: I got it one door and banger. Yeah, there you go.
- 48:05Speaker 2: What would you put in the duney gall cocktail? Tom?
- 48:07Speaker 2: You would put whiskey in it? Number one. Okay, let's
- 48:10Speaker 2: just be honest here. You would put whiskey in it, Vermouth.
- 48:15Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. I've just heard of
- 48:17Speaker 1: it before.
- 48:17Speaker 2: Going in whiskey you would get you going in. None
- 48:20Speaker 2: of these jins, no ices. Just football Special, that's what
- 48:24Speaker 2: it is.
- 48:24Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. That'll be an horror. I hate you wouldn't
- 48:27Speaker 1: stop me from drinking it.
- 48:28Speaker 2: I'll tell you I didn't drink now, to be honest
- 48:31Speaker 2: with Yeah, we're next for football Special. Now. You mentioned
- 48:36Speaker 2: ice pops. I think that's a wonderful idea you can
- 48:38Speaker 2: have that mcdaide's. That's a freebie from us.
- 48:40Speaker 1: I think. And you stumbled upon this a couple of
- 48:43Speaker 1: weeks ago. I think they're well you got my brain
- 48:46Speaker 1: thinking about this a couple of weeks ago. And I
- 48:48Speaker 1: think because we talked about Roy the Rovers being for
- 48:52Speaker 1: soccer and football specialists for football. Jesus Christ, I mean,
- 48:57Speaker 1: are you telling me that somebody can't make one for
- 49:00Speaker 1: you know, rugby hurling, you know all.
- 49:04Speaker 2: The banana stufs for Oh yeah, let me see what
- 49:08Speaker 2: else to have. Sorry, I'm gonna do I'm gonna do
- 49:10Speaker 2: a Jamie here on this one. Here and I want
- 49:11Speaker 2: to look them up. Talking about banana, one is a
- 49:14Speaker 2: brave choice. That's a brave banana is a brave choice.
- 49:18Speaker 1: You say something.
- 49:21Speaker 2: I've had. I've had a drop of the banana stuff.
- 49:23Speaker 2: I didn't drink too much of it, now be.
- 49:25Speaker 1: Known it just immediately I'm just getting scutterers. Do you
- 49:31Speaker 1: know that kind of way, way too much sugar to make,
- 49:33Speaker 1: Because you remember he was like the age of flavored milk.
- 49:37Speaker 1: You could get syrups to flavor milk, and it was
- 49:40Speaker 1: obviously strawberry strawberry chocolate, which obviously makes sense, of course
- 49:45Speaker 1: they do. But then you get to banana, and I
- 49:47Speaker 1: remember thinking the banana this is too much, even as
- 49:50Speaker 1: a child, that was like, this is we've gone mad.
- 49:52Speaker 1: This is we can mix these two flavors. This is
- 49:55Speaker 1: too much.
- 49:56Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna need you a full of ten here. Okay, now,
- 50:01Speaker 2: can't wait for the entire this is every product mcdade's
- 50:04Speaker 2: cell here, okay, Jesus Christ, right, Okay, So they'll sell
- 50:07Speaker 2: red lemonade and white lemonade. Okay, so the very spring
- 50:11Speaker 2: in that recard. So they make minerals. I don't know
- 50:13Speaker 2: what to tell you, right, they make the football special,
- 50:17Speaker 2: right for filling the cup. Yes, and it's made to
- 50:21Speaker 2: produce a unique foamy head, so it'll it'll it'll hold
- 50:24Speaker 2: ahead like a like a pintas MidiX. Right, So you're
- 50:27Speaker 2: either on that training or not, buddy.
- 50:29Speaker 1: Right, Okay, yeah, I know, I'm down. I'm down.
- 50:32Speaker 2: It makes a thing which we call cheese. Now we're
- 50:35Speaker 2: reared on tom. I think we've mentioned in this very
- 50:37Speaker 2: podcast before a drink called American cream soda.
- 50:42Speaker 1: They make that today as well.
- 50:43Speaker 2: They make American cream soda is made like. That's not
- 50:48Speaker 2: a strange one. I've had that from several different companies.
- 50:51Speaker 2: But these are two now that they would have bust
- 50:52Speaker 2: out and donegall and I'm sorry, I beg your pardon.
- 50:55Speaker 2: They also do a classic cola and a classic Orange cream,
- 50:58Speaker 2: which I guess are just oranges and colas. But here's
- 51:01Speaker 2: the two now after the football special that kind of
- 51:05Speaker 2: knock them up a notch in Doneygall Okay, chicken ranches
- 51:09Speaker 2: and all exotic pineapple, don't you know, now, there's nobody
- 51:12Speaker 2: in Doneygall ever tasted the pineapple before they tasted exotic pineapple, so.
- 51:17Speaker 1: They probably elbowed lilt out of it. Why go on?
- 51:23Speaker 2: And then the other one is, and we mentioned it already,
- 51:25Speaker 2: is smooth banana.
- 51:27Speaker 1: But you know what, I get orange, I get pineapple.
- 51:31Speaker 1: But you're getting into it like those there's almost a
- 51:33Speaker 1: you know, there's a bit of a well that's that's savor.
- 51:39Speaker 1: There's a hinter of citrus to it.
- 51:40Speaker 2: But banana, you know, like, think about it. You're going
- 51:44Speaker 2: to start up a new company making drinks. Well, what
- 51:46Speaker 2: will we make when we make orange? No, every fucker
- 51:49Speaker 2: is making orange, but what every fucker not making them?
- 51:53Speaker 1: Po data drinks?
- 51:54Speaker 2: Banana potato atually as well would be a good one.
- 51:56Speaker 2: But I can see them going like just sitting your
- 51:58Speaker 2: man McDaid sitting bolt up right the in the in
- 52:00Speaker 2: the bend, going like mushroom drink. Nobody has it?
- 52:05Speaker 1: Do you know what it's gone?
- 52:07Speaker 2: Here's another one, Tom to last for you, the beast
- 52:09Speaker 2: to the beat est to it. You can get ice
- 52:12Speaker 2: cream soda American cream soda ice cream, and you can
- 52:17Speaker 2: also get football special ice cream. They make little tubs
- 52:20Speaker 2: like like Ben and Jerry's kind of jobby.
- 52:23Speaker 1: Yes, I know the lads, I know the sort of stuff.
- 52:25Speaker 2: Yeah, they also make banana ice cream. And again Tom,
- 52:30Speaker 2: walk outside your house right now and see where you're
- 52:32Speaker 2: going to get banana ice cream.
- 52:35Speaker 1: You're one hundred percent right. I was trying to wrack
- 52:37Speaker 1: my brain there and there's not going to It's not
- 52:39Speaker 1: gonna be hanging out of the trees. I can tell
- 52:40Speaker 1: you that much. By God, you're right.
- 52:42Speaker 2: Not the pineapple ice cream as well, but you're there
- 52:44Speaker 2: like football special ice cream. No, these lads are ahead
- 52:46Speaker 2: of it. Like you're not going to get You're not
- 52:49Speaker 2: going to get banana ice cream, No.
- 52:51Speaker 1: You're not. But I get. I can wrap my head
- 52:53Speaker 1: around banana ice cream. It's just a banana drink. Like
- 52:56Speaker 1: do you know what what it is? You get the
- 52:58Speaker 1: juice out of a pineapple nobile, You get the juice
- 53:00Speaker 1: out of an apple, no bother, You get the juice
- 53:02Speaker 1: out of an orange out, no bother. By Jesus Christ,
- 53:05Speaker 1: you can squeeze the living shit out of a banana jar.
- 53:07Speaker 1: But there ain't much juice going to come out of
- 53:09Speaker 1: that thing.
- 53:10Speaker 2: Let me tell you, Tom, I have had the banana mcdaid's,
- 53:13Speaker 2: and I want to tell you one thing now, body,
- 53:15Speaker 2: I want to tell you this now, I want to
- 53:16Speaker 2: promise you this. Now you're making a mistake by thinking
- 53:21Speaker 2: it tastes like a banana.
- 53:24Speaker 1: That's that's just me all over there. I'm just, I'm just.
- 53:28Speaker 1: I'm a ridiculous human.
- 53:29Speaker 2: That's been the ruin of mania. Man. But lo, look,
- 53:32Speaker 2: ladies and gentlemen, where do you stand on mcdade's Football Special.
- 53:36Speaker 2: I want every single one listening to this to buy
- 53:39Speaker 2: up as much football specials. You remember a couple of
- 53:41Speaker 2: months ago when everybody went buck wild looking for that
- 53:44Speaker 2: prime drink, which is piss. I know it was selling
- 53:47Speaker 2: for fifteen year o bottle, And right now in my
- 53:50Speaker 2: local Apple Green, I can go down and buy four
- 53:52Speaker 2: bottles of a short dated for two year if I'm
- 53:55Speaker 2: so inclined, and I wouldn't wash the dog with it. No,
- 53:57Speaker 2: he'll be all right. I want you to show that
- 53:59Speaker 2: love to mcdaide Football Special. How about that time?
- 54:01Speaker 1: The only thing I will say is that I can't
- 54:04Speaker 1: buy the hype. You know what I'm like, But I
- 54:06Speaker 1: and I'm loving that mcdaid's are an independent company. But
- 54:11Speaker 1: I'm just terrified. I'm terrified. You know who I'm terrified after.
- 54:16Speaker 1: I'm terrified of the influencer hipsters. That's all of people
- 54:20Speaker 1: who dressed like ironic sailors and wear her hurt and
- 54:23Speaker 1: are gonna start picking up nor the accents now while
- 54:27Speaker 1: drinking it and just saying they've been drinking it forever.
- 54:29Speaker 1: And you're going, you're from Fox Rock. Would you ever
- 54:33Speaker 1: fuck off at yourself?
- 54:34Speaker 2: Tom? You're coming at this all wrong?
- 54:36Speaker 1: Am I am? I?
- 54:37Speaker 2: Yeah? Mcdaid's already have influencers working for them. You and me,
- 54:42Speaker 2: jesus from for years, we've never actually half to the
- 54:46Speaker 2: point gotten a six pack of McDade sent down to
- 54:48Speaker 2: us so you know, more on that to.
- 54:51Speaker 1: The point that it hit the shelves last week or whatever,
- 54:55Speaker 1: and we got We got hit up about it immediately
- 54:58Speaker 1: from a few he hits like did you see this
- 55:01Speaker 1: straight away? Has McBride been on to you about this?
- 55:04Speaker 1: This was Saturday night about to walk on stage in
- 55:06Speaker 1: know all of all places, and I got a message
- 55:08Speaker 1: and I said, first, has mcbriden, I'm like, Jesus, what
- 55:11Speaker 1: is it? And it was just some of three different
- 55:14Speaker 1: people on Instagram send a picture of it on to me?
- 55:17Speaker 1: Have you been on to make pride about this?
- 55:19Speaker 2: Just saying I'm telling you we like that's it come
- 55:23Speaker 2: to us for all your football special needs Tom and
- 55:27Speaker 2: Jerry Show was sponsored by mcpaid's.
- 55:28Speaker 1: No it's not, but it could be. Absolutely we'd be
- 55:31Speaker 1: open to that, open to that, and.
- 55:34Speaker 2: You know what, we're not going to give you and
- 55:35Speaker 2: can you give you any bad manners, any guff And
- 55:37Speaker 2: we're definitely not going to start right because that's not
- 55:40Speaker 2: what we do here at Tom and Jerry Show, or
- 55:41Speaker 2: we don't start him.
- 55:43Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, that's a lie straight out the gate.
- 55:47Speaker 1: Don't stop, because we do need to address something that
- 55:52Speaker 1: you brought up with me a couple of weeks ago.
- 55:54Speaker 1: And I'd say we're going to be at some sort
- 55:56Speaker 1: of lockerheads about this, or maybe we won't, but there's
- 55:58Speaker 1: definitely a rowd to be add on the fact that
- 56:01Speaker 1: shops are pedaling now. It's as we record this. If
- 56:06Speaker 1: you haven't looked at the date, and you're just going
- 56:07Speaker 1: back to the back catalog, it's now July almost all
- 56:11Speaker 1: fair enough, August maybe right now, right now, you can
- 56:19Speaker 1: get to the halloween, Halloween gear in the shops. You
- 56:23Speaker 1: can get if you look hard enough, you can get
- 56:25Speaker 1: Christmas gear coming up in the shops. And Jesus there,
- 56:33Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not you. You say things that you
- 56:35Speaker 1: say every so often, you can knock a hustler and
- 56:37Speaker 1: all the rest of it. Capitalism has just gone banan
- 56:41Speaker 1: nurs to you know, ban flavored drink. That's where it's gone.
- 56:46Speaker 1: And I'm gonna let them off. I'm gonna let them
- 56:48Speaker 1: off the hook. I know you are passionate about seasonal events.
- 56:53Speaker 2: I do love an hell season. Tom, oh, god, you do.
- 56:55Speaker 1: You love a seasonal event.
- 56:58Speaker 2: So me and Tom are both of a vintage that
- 57:01Speaker 2: we remember that Christmas stuff started appearing in the shops
- 57:05Speaker 2: first of December. Maybe okay, Halloween stuff didn't appear in
- 57:09Speaker 2: shops at all because that wasn't the thing. But maybe
- 57:12Speaker 2: the week before Halloween you gets balls, faces and masks
- 57:15Speaker 2: and orange string bags of monkey nuts and things like this,
- 57:20Speaker 2: maybe a week before Okay, Easter. Easter eggs went out
- 57:24Speaker 2: about a week before, and the gain like this was
- 57:26Speaker 2: what it was nowadays. Okay, the calendar seems to go
- 57:30Speaker 2: first to January, Easter eggs hit the shelves. That's not
- 57:33Speaker 2: me making a joke.
- 57:34Speaker 1: That's one hundred percent.
- 57:35Speaker 2: That's that's a one hundred percent fact. Is kind of
- 57:42Speaker 2: like a bit odd to see Christmas stuff in July.
- 57:47Speaker 2: But what's fun. This was We got sent a tweet
- 57:50Speaker 2: that you can buy tubs of roses in Tesco right now.
- 57:57Speaker 2: And the only well do that now, Tom, that's the
- 57:59Speaker 2: thing that can happen.
- 57:59Speaker 1: The only you gotta say about that, I mean it's
- 58:01Speaker 1: you can buy Usa a sort of biscuits all year round. Two.
- 58:04Speaker 2: I mean, this is it that you got to ask yourself,
- 58:05Speaker 2: like how seasonal.
- 58:07Speaker 1: Is a doubble roses? People do get People buy a
- 58:10Speaker 1: box of crisps for some reason, and they buy a
- 58:13Speaker 1: tub of roses. These seem to be things synonymous with Christmas.
- 58:15Speaker 1: But like you put their you put yourself in their shoes.
- 58:19Speaker 1: The warehouse is just filling up and filling up and
- 58:21Speaker 1: filling up, and you're like, God, Jesus Christ, let's just
- 58:24Speaker 1: put them out on.
- 58:24Speaker 2: The Do you know what it is, Tom? It's not
- 58:27Speaker 2: the fact that it is a tubber roses, because these
- 58:29Speaker 2: tubb of roses, and we've seen tweets to verify this,
- 58:32Speaker 2: Like the expiry date on these roses is November, so
- 58:35Speaker 2: they're not made for Christmas. They're literally aren't going to
- 58:37Speaker 2: last Christmas. So these are just like I guess summer chocolates. Yeah,
- 58:43Speaker 2: but it's the it's the implication of I get it.
- 58:46Speaker 1: But it's not like they're selling you, you know, a
- 58:48Speaker 1: yellow Christmas tree. You know they're going it's an Eastern tree. Guys. No,
- 58:52Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
- 58:53Speaker 3: Is it?
- 58:55Speaker 1: God? I would have way more trouble with some of
- 58:58Speaker 1: the shit that's that ops are selling. I'm not that
- 59:01Speaker 1: hard lined over Christmas. I'm like, you know what, to
- 59:05Speaker 1: the to the point where like I would have been
- 59:08Speaker 1: one time. And I know people love to jump on
- 59:09Speaker 1: this bandwagon, but here's the thing. There is no greater
- 59:14Speaker 1: peace of mind to knowing that I don't have to
- 59:17Speaker 1: bother my shit with Christmas presents because my wife has
- 59:20Speaker 1: that started since this summer. And she's got storage because
- 59:25Speaker 1: one thing women love is good storage, and she will
- 59:28Speaker 1: have hit put away that I wouldn't have considered. You See,
- 59:32Speaker 1: I was the ideo. I was the idiot that come December,
- 59:37Speaker 1: you know, twenty second I'm going off for the love
- 59:40Speaker 1: of Christ, do you know what I mean. I'm the
- 59:42Speaker 1: guy buying the shovel at the mine rather than bringing
- 59:44Speaker 1: it from you know, the I'm the idiot is getting
- 59:48Speaker 1: charged three times for that jacket. You know, Oh yeah,
- 59:52Speaker 1: you're gonna buy your ski gear at the ski the
- 59:54Speaker 1: skier's art you not that was that's me.
- 59:57Speaker 2: I'm gonna buy a sun cream in the airport, there
- 59:59Speaker 2: are you, buddy.
- 1:00:00Speaker 1: But she is able to get that ship now early
- 1:00:04Speaker 1: doors and put it away. And when I go, have
- 1:00:08Speaker 1: we present a b No. I did that in August,
- 1:00:11Speaker 1: Jesus God bless you. And she's able to do that
- 1:00:14Speaker 1: in August now. And if she wants to buy roses
- 1:00:17Speaker 1: for some aunt or some nana who loves that ship,
- 1:00:20Speaker 1: And to be honest with you, I wouldn't cross the
- 1:00:21Speaker 1: road for roses. They just disappoint me at every bite.
- 1:00:25Speaker 1: They really do. There's so many more superior cret we don't.
- 1:00:28Speaker 2: Give away a free round their time. And I could
- 1:00:30Speaker 2: come back around and I'm.
- 1:00:31Speaker 1: Fair enough, fair enough, But there's there's more. There's more
- 1:00:34Speaker 1: landmines in that tub than there is fucking sweet, you
- 1:00:37Speaker 1: know sweet?
- 1:00:39Speaker 2: But Tom, like that's one thing. You know, nobody's stopping
- 1:00:43Speaker 2: your gun out and buying a bottle of perfume or
- 1:00:46Speaker 2: a Gillette raiser in the middle of the year to
- 1:00:48Speaker 2: give to some cousin or some such like. Like they're
- 1:00:53Speaker 2: putting a decorations, Tom, And I'm gonna just like watch
- 1:00:56Speaker 2: me now all right, Sorry, I know this is not
- 1:01:02Speaker 2: good podcast, and I guess it makes a little bit
- 1:01:04Speaker 2: of a rattle there. It could be wee ghosty buys there.
- 1:01:06Speaker 1: Oh, you have three porson ghosty buys all together.
- 1:01:10Speaker 2: Look at them there, look at like three sort of
- 1:01:11Speaker 2: banshee sort of lads. Are three sort of Lord of
- 1:01:13Speaker 2: the Rings sort of lads. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
- 1:01:15Speaker 2: a Halloween decoration. Tom, I'm gonna tell you that now right.
- 1:01:18Speaker 1: I could live at that any time of the year,
- 1:01:20Speaker 1: to be honest. She has a backdrop to a podcast studio.
- 1:01:22Speaker 2: All right, what about this we last year a wee
- 1:01:24Speaker 2: girl with a witch and she's sitting on a banana.
- 1:01:27Speaker 2: Sitting on a banana. Well you know it's the moon.
- 1:01:30Speaker 1: Oh oh Jesus right, I thought, why why have I
- 1:01:35Speaker 1: Why have I got these?
- 1:01:36Speaker 2: Tom in arms Rach, I'll tell you why, Okay, Because
- 1:01:38Speaker 2: there's a shop up away from us called Home Sense.
- 1:01:41Speaker 2: It's I think it's a oh yeah, and they have
- 1:01:45Speaker 2: they have their Halloween ship out, not like a better buy,
- 1:01:49Speaker 2: a couple of hazel nots in case they're also that
- 1:01:51Speaker 2: it's like here is Halloween and arm decorations three months
- 1:01:55Speaker 2: ahead of him.
- 1:01:57Speaker 1: There's a place called Jimmy's that, by god we have
- 1:02:00Speaker 1: to do a road trip Jimmy's in Cashle. You would
- 1:02:04Speaker 1: lose your mind. But I don't think it is discount.
- 1:02:09Speaker 1: But it's got hardware of a of a huge range.
- 1:02:14Speaker 1: Now good, I will tell you here and now it
- 1:02:16Speaker 1: is all the finest chineseium you will ever meet. I
- 1:02:20Speaker 1: don't think Jimmy's has storage. Jimmy's is just a huge,
- 1:02:25Speaker 1: huge and I think their storage is yon shelf. So
- 1:02:30Speaker 1: if they're getting in smart, they're going, we're going the
- 1:02:34Speaker 1: we're buying the fucking Eastern stuff at Christmas, we're putting
- 1:02:37Speaker 1: it out. And that's that. We're putting the stuff out
- 1:02:39Speaker 1: in July, lads, because it's either that or staying in
- 1:02:42Speaker 1: the truck.
- 1:02:43Speaker 2: Is that is what I feel. You know, I can't
- 1:02:47Speaker 2: wrap my head around the economics of putting tubs of
- 1:02:49Speaker 2: roses out in the middle of the summer. But what
- 1:02:52Speaker 2: I will say is this, I know that what I'm
- 1:02:54Speaker 2: buying in Home Sense or Tkmax in July is what's
- 1:03:00Speaker 2: left over from last year.
- 1:03:02Speaker 1: Sure, here's the injured people.
- 1:03:04Speaker 2: And if I if I don't buy it, now, I
- 1:03:06Speaker 2: won't get it in November that we go see sorry
- 1:03:12Speaker 2: that the little girl with the little witch on the moon.
- 1:03:15Speaker 2: Wee girls seeing that, and just like I loved it
- 1:03:16Speaker 2: and had to have it, and I seen these sort
- 1:03:19Speaker 2: of banshees up here and I was like, no, that
- 1:03:21Speaker 2: is actually now any day of the year, that is
- 1:03:23Speaker 2: actually kind of cool.
- 1:03:25Speaker 1: Listen, storage costs money. People mightn't realize that when it
- 1:03:29Speaker 1: comes to the shop and that ships sitting in there,
- 1:03:31Speaker 1: making you not only sitting there. So put it on
- 1:03:34Speaker 1: the shelf, put it out front of the house.
- 1:03:35Speaker 2: Someone will give you a tanner for Look.
- 1:03:37Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not. People can have their pist about it,
- 1:03:40Speaker 1: but here's the real I'll tell you the reasoning behind it.
- 1:03:43Speaker 1: It isn't just to sell it now. Because they've got
- 1:03:45Speaker 1: lots of ship to sell, loads of ship to sell.
- 1:03:47Speaker 1: They can tell you you ain't gonna see the monkey
- 1:03:49Speaker 1: nuts this early because they'll go off. What I'm saying
- 1:03:53Speaker 1: is if you see something of it early and it's
- 1:03:55Speaker 1: got a witch on it or something, it's because it
- 1:03:57Speaker 1: ain't gonna make him any money sitting down the back.
- 1:03:59Speaker 1: Chances are it won't actually be there come Halloween. Like
- 1:04:01Speaker 1: Jerry said, it's twenty twenty threes shit that's on the
- 1:04:04Speaker 1: shelf right now and they're just empty. And that outcaus gone.
- 1:04:07Speaker 1: Put it out front. If it doesn't sell, smash it
- 1:04:10Speaker 1: and put it in the skip. How's that will?
- 1:04:12Speaker 2: Someone will give you money for it? And like I
- 1:04:16Speaker 2: feel tow like everybody starts rouse over them putting out
- 1:04:19Speaker 2: the Halloween stuff early, or putting out the Eastern stuff early.
- 1:04:22Speaker 2: You're putting out the christmastuff early. Nobody ever gribes about
- 1:04:25Speaker 2: them putting out the back to school stuff in June. True, true,
- 1:04:29Speaker 2: because people that know no, people that know I'm going
- 1:04:32Speaker 2: to get that sort of stuff maybe a wee bit
- 1:04:34Speaker 2: cheaper than I'll get it on the last week of August,
- 1:04:36Speaker 2: and I'm prepared and i haven't gone on holidays.
- 1:04:40Speaker 1: Hey, I'll tell you. I'll tell you the one though it.
- 1:04:41Speaker 2: Might have a bit extra money in my pocket right now,
- 1:04:43Speaker 2: so before I go on a sun holiday and blow
- 1:04:45Speaker 2: all my money and don't have it to spend in August,
- 1:04:49Speaker 2: I'll buy it now.
- 1:04:49Speaker 1: I'll tell you the one that sneaks under the radar
- 1:04:51Speaker 1: and never catches any heat, no matter when they put
- 1:04:54Speaker 1: the stuff out. Saint Patrick's Day. Never Yeah, do you
- 1:04:58Speaker 1: know why? Because they're just hoping to catch tourists anyway,
- 1:05:00Speaker 1: And people are like, sure, somebody will buy that outshot anyway,
- 1:05:03Speaker 1: this is their football Matchohn, do you know.
- 1:05:04Speaker 2: What I mean? You know, Tom, You're absolutely right now, it's.
- 1:05:07Speaker 1: A great one. It sneaks under the radar. People are like,
- 1:05:10Speaker 1: but sure he is Ireland, Like, do you know it
- 1:05:12Speaker 1: is Ireland?
- 1:05:13Speaker 2: It's it's the it's the start of August now, so
- 1:05:16Speaker 2: it's easily eight months before Saint Patrick's Day twenty twenty
- 1:05:19Speaker 2: five and I was down in Apple Green there and
- 1:05:21Speaker 2: I've seen an eight pack againness get out of town. Yeah,
- 1:05:25Speaker 2: earlier every year, buddy.
- 1:05:27Speaker 1: Do you want to know? I think I'm sure I've
- 1:05:29Speaker 1: told you this person off air or whatever. But I
- 1:05:31Speaker 1: walked my stupidity and I will shut up after this.
- 1:05:35Speaker 1: But my stupidity came to the four one night, and
- 1:05:38Speaker 1: my irishness came to the four one night when I
- 1:05:40Speaker 1: was going to do a giga in Oma and I
- 1:05:43Speaker 1: got stopped. It was the eighteenth of March. I got
- 1:05:45Speaker 1: stopped outside of the town by a bunch of other people.
- 1:05:47Speaker 1: We all got stopped. We weren't allowed driving to the town.
- 1:05:49Speaker 1: But this copper and I put my window down and
- 1:05:51Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm trying to get the dailies, Like I'm
- 1:05:53Speaker 1: trying to I don't know this town. Where can I park?
- 1:05:55Speaker 1: And he was like, I can put it over there.
- 1:05:57Speaker 1: You're not getting the town tonight. Why what's happening? Alarm
- 1:06:01Speaker 1: bells said, oh, man, I should have shut it up up,
- 1:06:04Speaker 1: but he went, no, they're practicing marching. And in my head,
- 1:06:07Speaker 1: my Republic of Ireland head south of the border, very south.
- 1:06:13Speaker 1: In fact, I had thought it was the day after
- 1:06:16Speaker 1: Saint Patrick's Day and my initial thing was, well, fair
- 1:06:19Speaker 1: fu complating three hundred and sixty four more days of
- 1:06:23Speaker 1: Saint Patrick Day. And then lads are out there just
- 1:06:25Speaker 1: pounding pavement trying to get in their mockness or whatever
- 1:06:29Speaker 1: they're trying to do. And I did all this in
- 1:06:31Speaker 1: my head, thank god, and I didn't utter it out loud,
- 1:06:33Speaker 1: and the cop in fairness looked at me again would look,
- 1:06:36Speaker 1: and he just went, not that kind of march.
- 1:06:40Speaker 2: The as you mentioned Macknus there, Tom, we had the
- 1:06:43Speaker 2: we had the Olympic opening ceremony there, which we don't mention.
- 1:06:47Speaker 2: It was no harm, but I'll give you one thing.
- 1:06:50Speaker 2: I'm here trying to make jokes out of it on
- 1:06:51Speaker 2: Twitter at the time. And the one that I tried
- 1:06:54Speaker 2: the hardest to make but I couldn't make it, and
- 1:06:56Speaker 2: then at the time I was like, it's not worth making.
- 1:06:58Speaker 2: It was the way we're all these friends lads on
- 1:07:00Speaker 2: the side of the on the side of the sin,
- 1:07:03Speaker 2: and they've got the big Mackness heads on them and
- 1:07:05Speaker 2: they're all doing all this kind of stuff. And I
- 1:07:08Speaker 2: was trying to get a joke to work, well, like
- 1:07:11Speaker 2: who are these guys mockness but it was spelled like
- 1:07:13Speaker 2: the way the French spelled Jacques as mockness, and I
- 1:07:17Speaker 2: couldn't work.
- 1:07:20Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what, don't you know?
- 1:07:21Speaker 2: And then you just have to accept that these aren't
- 1:07:23Speaker 2: all going to be winners.
- 1:07:24Speaker 1: There's a there's too much there's too much John Pack
- 1:07:27Speaker 1: inside that one. But there's yeah, yeah, it's beautiful, come on, yeah.
- 1:07:36Speaker 2: That's clean. Dion was saying, I had bigger fished, right, yeah,
- 1:07:40Speaker 2: and there you go, folks.
- 1:07:43Speaker 1: But the one with the beard I can't remember was
- 1:07:45Speaker 1: too much for me.
- 1:07:46Speaker 2: But I hear he's got a room in the GUILDA balloon.
- 1:07:51Speaker 1: One hundred percent that we lad that we lad.
- 1:07:54Speaker 2: Dressed in blue, he'll be out. He's heading the bucket
- 1:07:56Speaker 2: for a month in editing.
- 1:08:00Speaker 1: Hundred percent.
- 1:08:01Speaker 2: Folks, are you all keeping We hope you are enjoying
- 1:08:04Speaker 2: the Olympics. We might cycle back to it very shortly.
- 1:08:06Speaker 2: You just don't know. Come at the air or come
- 1:08:10Speaker 2: at the man. You just don't know what's gonna happen here.
- 1:08:11Speaker 2: But if you want to keep abreast of all these
- 1:08:13Speaker 2: things and more, you can follow us on our social
- 1:08:16Speaker 2: media channels at Tom and Jerry Show, Jerry with a
- 1:08:18Speaker 2: g Tom with a Tom That will get you pretty
- 1:08:21Speaker 2: much anywhere Instagram or Twitter, and you can get him
- 1:08:25Speaker 2: at Tom Underscore o'manney or me at Jerry McBride.
- 1:08:27Speaker 1: What else would be like? Tom, do you know what?
- 1:08:30Speaker 1: I don't use Twitter at the underscore thing. It's it's
- 1:08:32Speaker 1: I was trying to think the other day. I just
- 1:08:34Speaker 1: don't use it enough because I get I don't catch
- 1:08:36Speaker 1: any heat at all on it because I'm not. You can't.
- 1:08:39Speaker 1: You can't sail into these things. Once every three weeks
- 1:08:41Speaker 1: ago I'll say something funny that's pointless because nobody will
- 1:08:45Speaker 1: catch it. But yes, Tom, Omanny and Jerry McBride will
- 1:08:47Speaker 1: catches anywhere, but do if it's your first time listening,
- 1:08:49Speaker 1: you're like out in the christ event. Not heard of
- 1:08:51Speaker 1: this fellas well? Look there's bags more to go have
- 1:08:54Speaker 1: a listen to. Just hit subscribe and we'll turn up
- 1:08:57Speaker 1: every single Thursday in your phone. Hit the bell so
- 1:08:59Speaker 1: get read us. Yeah, hit the bell. If there's a
- 1:09:02Speaker 1: bell on your your platform or whatever it is. I
- 1:09:04Speaker 1: know there's one on Spotify. I'm sure there's one on
- 1:09:06Speaker 1: iTunes or Apple Podcasts or whatever it's called. Or maybe
- 1:09:08Speaker 1: you're listening Deezer or there's so many that people listen
- 1:09:12Speaker 1: on jar I can't tell you what it is us.
- 1:09:14Speaker 1: If you're allowed rate us highly, if you're allowed screen
- 1:09:17Speaker 1: grab it tag U isn't it tell us about a
- 1:09:20Speaker 1: strange drink that you drank abroad? Or football special special moments?
- 1:09:25Speaker 1: Maybe you want to talk to us about your time
- 1:09:27Speaker 1: at a weird festival, the weird things happened. We got
- 1:09:29Speaker 1: a couple of good ones last week Edinburgh Fringe stories.
- 1:09:32Speaker 1: Why not if you got them? And do you think
- 1:09:36Speaker 1: that's what we're getting earlier and earlier with these things?
- 1:09:38Speaker 2: Do you give a shout? Do you care? Would you
- 1:09:41Speaker 2: like to buy a little witch statue, I will tell
- 1:09:43Speaker 2: it to you. Other than that Tom that is us. Look,
- 1:09:47Speaker 2: I hope that Neil falls off gross. It gets worth
- 1:09:49Speaker 2: looking every hour.
- 1:09:50Speaker 1: It's it's got the Walking Dead vibe. And really, between
- 1:09:55Speaker 1: you and my son, you are absolutely getting like a
- 1:09:59Speaker 1: ring side seat with the joy that this is bringing me.
- 1:10:03Speaker 1: It's doing my nothing. It's like my finger is slightly elongated.
- 1:10:08Speaker 1: Pregnancy will just not cast off what like I don't
- 1:10:11Speaker 1: know how snakes get out of their skin, like how
- 1:10:13Speaker 1: they're not just itching, just get it out, get off
- 1:10:16Speaker 1: the thing.
- 1:10:17Speaker 2: But look, what if if anybody back home really wants
- 1:10:20Speaker 2: to see this goddamn thing dm us on the Twitter.
- 1:10:24Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go live on
- 1:10:26Speaker 1: Instagram today. I think it's falling out on the Tom
- 1:10:28Speaker 1: of Jerry show.
- 1:10:29Speaker 2: And what's falling out now I know, But when it
- 1:10:32Speaker 2: actually decides.
- 1:10:33Speaker 1: It's you know what it is. It's a it's an
- 1:10:36Speaker 1: Irish Catholic son that just won't move out.
- 1:10:39Speaker 2: Of home, won't get out of the farm.
- 1:10:42Speaker 1: But to be fair, it's probably the house prices won't
- 1:10:44Speaker 1: allow it go anywhere, so it's probably gonna have to
- 1:10:46Speaker 1: stay and hang on there and just rot away on
- 1:10:48Speaker 1: the end of my finger as a new one grows.
- 1:10:50Speaker 2: But look Tom and Jerry show ladies and gentlemen, good luck, and.
- 1:11:01Speaker 1: Sent my
- 1:11:03Speaker 2: D