Latest / Energy With Alex / 4. How to Recognize Your Growth Before You Reach the Goal
Transcript
- Alex Williams: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Energy with Alex podcast. I'm Alex, your host, and this is your space to romanticize your life so that you can drop into the present moment and find magic in every single day. This is also a place you can always come to for honest truths and deep conversations and a lot of fun too. I am so excited to have you here. Let's get started. Hello friends, welcome back to another episode. I am so excited. This has been such a fun process already, just starting a podcast and figuring it out. Like how to make weekly episodes, the tech side of it, the community piece of it. All of it has been so much fun already and such a learning curve as well. But I'm really grateful for it. I'm grateful for This chapter one of this journey, and not even knowing what else is in store for me. But I am really grateful for every one of you that is already listening to these beginner episodes and the kind words that you've given me, and and just letting me know if you've felt connected to anything that I've said already. And happy fall. It is the first day, or as I am recording this, it is the first day of fall. And I love a season change, honestly. I think there's something so beautiful about just a fresh beginning. And I think we can have a fresh start really anytime. It could it doesn't have to be a Monday. It doesn't have to be the first of the month or the first of a season. But I do love the energy that comes from the beginning of something like a new season. And fall is such a beautiful season for us to really dive into because the energy behind fall is so beautiful and so different from the energy of the summer season. The summer is really all around just this vibrancy, this fast-paced, bright, beautiful time. And it's also very busy, right? It's like all of the things that we have been working towards. a lot of times come to fruition in the spring and in the summer. It's like everything's blooming and we're just go, go, go. It's very action-packed. and depending on where you live, I live in Georgia and it's also very hot. It is, whoo, the humidity, the heat, it is getting to me, and I am so excited. This morning I felt a little bit of fall breeze and some leaves are starting to fall from the trees and I could cry. It honestly is just so Amazing to feel that shift in the air. Even though I love summer, I am also ready for some fall weather. and the fall season, fall and winter, they kind of go hand in hand, but the fall is when things are beginning to slow down. We start to have this slower energy beginning, this like really beautiful time period where we get to drop deeper into the present moment and start to get clear on how we want the second half of the year to go. And so I wanted to talk today a little bit about goal setting because it is a new season and we do love to set goals at the beginning of a new time period. And I wanted to talk specifically around growth and what Perspective shift we might be able to have when it comes to setting goals and measuring growth, but in a different way. Specifically, how it feels when you are setting a goal and you are looking into where your growth has happened so far, and you can't really track it as well as you would like to. You're probably like in that middle. space the part of the journey that is not quite at the start and it's not quite at the end. And so you're just kind of wondering when you're gonna see some more progress. And that is really the hardest time of any journey when we are trying to manifest something or to progress in some way or to get that goal that we've been working on. That middle part can be the hardest part. Because when you start off a goal, you have all that momentum, that motivation, you're ready to go, and you're just feeling really good usually about it. You have that excitement. Maybe you've told a lot of friends and family what you're going after. And then at the end, obviously, at the end, when you get it, you're feeling so excited. You have all that energy, that celebration. And so The start and the end. You have these two energies that really get you going, but in the middle is when we can lose some of that spark when we're not quite seeing the things progress yet in a way that we would like them to. And that's a lot of times when motivation and when willpower and just the energy that you put towards your goal starts to taper off a little bit. And so I want to talk about how we can enjoy the process a little bit more and how we can actually track growth in kind of a different way sometimes to keep that motivation going. I can think of a few examples for me and I'll kind of share them and what I've learned from them. first and foremost I started running pretty recently. So I only started running at the beginning of summer. And before that I hadn't really ran, like consistently ran since high school. And even then it was like I hated running the miles, but I still did it because you have to. And I thought honestly my family was absolutely crazy for wanting me to start running. So my sister in law is marathon training right now and she's been a runner since I've known her. And then my mother in law and my husband, they were starting to talk about wanting to get into it too and maybe doing a couple smaller races throughout the rest of summer and fall. And so I was kind of thinking about it, but I thought they were crazy for trying to get me to start this training plan and all of that. And it just felt like I don't know, I I didn't feel like I was capable of doing that. But when I started the training plan and I clicked begin and it gave me really clear things to do. Like literally the first run I did was a five minute run. And the next one I did was a seven minute run. And then it just kind of progressively got a little bit bigger at a time, but like very small chunks. And when I started five minutes felt hard, honestly. It's like when you're just straight up running for five minutes when you haven't ran for years, it feels hard. And I was like, dang, this is this is a really weird experience. but every single day I did a little bit more and a little bit more. And I had this momentum. I had the encouragement from Renson family who knew I was beginning my running journey. And I felt excited for the newness of it all. then I had my first race, my 5K, which is really fun. And now I'm training for a 10K. But what I have noticed that I've done so differently with This journey of learning something new is I have not compared myself to anybody. I won't allow myself to because if I did, I would stop, honestly, because my pace is technically slow. I mean, that's not even saying that in a bad way. I just I'm a slow runner. I'm a beginner. I have short legs. Like, I don't know. It's a whole process. I'm sure I'll get faster as I go, but right now I'm my paces are very slow. Also, my endurance when I first started, like I said, five minutes felt hard. And now I'm able to just this morning and this past weekend, I ran for five miles straight and I did not stop. I was so proud of myself. And I would not have pictured that at the beginning of summer to even be a possibility. So so excited. But the whole time I celebrated myself. every single step of the way. When I ran those first five, seven, ten minutes, I was texting people. I was posting it on Strava as if I had just ran a marathon. Like I was so excited for myself. So I was celebrating myself and I wasn't comparing myself to anyone except for who I was the last time I was on the starting line, which is really important because it's okay to have a little bit of comparison if it pushes us in like a healthy way. Like I look at the work that my sister-in-law has done and I realize how amazing it is that she gets herself to get up early for her runs and she prioritizes it and just makes sure that she's always working on doing a little bit better every single day. And so I see that and I guess healthily compare myself to that. So in the mornings where I am feeling sluggish and I don't want to get out of bed, I can kind of see like draw inspiration from her. So that would be a healthy comparison. An unhealthy comparison would be if I was going online and looking at people that are running eight minute, nine minute, 10 minute miles and then talking to myself and being like, wow, they're so much faster than you. You're doing a bad job. I knew you couldn't do this, right? All those little voices in her head. I wasn't allowing myself to do that. Instead, I was celebrating every little thing. So that's what I want to talk about a little bit is that middle time. We often get so discouraged in the middle of a goal when we're really working towards something, but we don't see it anywhere near the end. And that is so sad that we miss out on that opportunity to enjoy it because that's the journey right there. When you start something and when you end something, that's just the Cover and the ending of a book, right? The best part of a book is everything in between. The best part of a story is everything in between. It's exciting to start a new story and not know where it's gonna take you. I love that experience. and it's so exciting when you finish a book and you're like, dang, that was a good book. I can't wait to tell everybody about it. It was such a beautiful story. It really touched me. I learned so much from it. That's a great experience, too. But how often do we think I wish I could go back in time and just reread that story because being in it was the best part. we can feel that with books and movies and TV shows and and everything but we don't feel it as often, or we don't give ourselves that experience and opportunity to feel it as often when it's something that's happening day to day with us, like our actual daily life. And so we're losing a great opportunity here to just be in the present moment. how often do we look back and think, man, I wish I would have been more present in that moment? I wish I would have really been there and and appreciated every little thing that happened and the grind of it all, when people often finish a goal, there's a little bit of a sadness. It's like, man, I've been working hard towards something. For so long, now what? It's a good feeling to be working on something and working towards something. And it's a great feeling when we get that thing, but also we look back on it with nostalgia and and with love and adoration at just the person that we became while we were doing it. And that's another thing is if we're in such a rush to just get to the end of whatever it is that we're working on. We lose the opportunity to really be present and get to know the person that you are today, the person that is working on that goal. It kind of reminds me of the this trend. my gosh, I've got to remember the poet's name. Let me look her up real quick. So I make sure to give her credit. Janae Cecilia. Janae Cecilia. I hope I pronounced her name right. she is a poet that I follow, and she wrote a poem called I Met My Younger Self for Coffee, I believe is what it was called. And it became a huge trend on Instagram where people took that poem where she sat with her younger self and had coffee with her younger self, and she was kind of just describing this experience of Who she is now and who she was back then, and kind of just seeing the differences, but seeing it with this beauty and this appreciation. And so people took that poem and they created their own versions of it, of where they were today and what their younger version was like as well, and having that experience of coffee. And it was such a beautiful trend. I absolutely loved it. I made my own version as well. I thought it was such a good example of these versions of ourselves, whether we, were unhealed or had a lot of things going on and had a lot of sadness or struggles or wherever it was that we were at. Maybe we at times have judged the younger versions of ourselves, the past versions of ourselves for the mistakes they've made, for the choices that they've made that you know better now and you would have done differently, or whatever it may be. Maybe there has been judgment there, maybe there has been pain there when you look back. But I loved this trend because it made us realize that no matter what happened, we have appreciation for the younger versions of ourselves and we can have appreciation for who we are now. so when we are really in the present moment with a journey of goal setting, it's like we're actively having coffee every single day. with a version of ourselves that we're gonna look back on fondly. And that's a really cool opportunity because it's one thing to journal on it and think back on it later on. And you kind of realize like wow, I wish I would have appreciated who I was back then a little bit more. You have that opportunity right now. You're going for this goal and you're becoming someone different every single day because of it. I know for me every single day that I wake up and I actually keep the promises to myself right now, and I get up for those runs three to four times a week. I push myself a little bit harder every single day. And now I am seeing actual progress happen from it. I haven't reached like a final goal yet, but I am seeing actual progress because I know that I'm changing who I am. Or I'm not changing who I am, but I'm becoming more of the most aligned version of me every single day. I might not be exactly where I want to be one year from now, two years from now onward, but every single day I get up and I have a little bit more appreciation for myself, a little bit more love for myself, little bit more trust in myself. And that is so priceless. And I'm also able to be present in the moment in this middle journey, realizing that every single day it births a new version of me. And I don't want to let any version of me go unnoticed, go unappreciated. This is a really beautiful opportunity for each and every one of us to really be with who we are right now. Because every single day, you don't know, someone might come and give you a perspective shift on life that might completely shift the version of you. the version that you are right now, you might learn something new this week. You might meet someone new this week. You might actually realize that the person you were yesterday is completely different than the person you were today. Were you present with her? Are you able to really say that you sat with her? You had coffee with her. You were able to really be with her. so I always think about that now. When we were when we are always on these journeys to become better versions of ourselves, that is a really beautiful thing. I think that's one of the points of life is to continue to always become a better version of ourselves. But we don't want to do it in a way where we're just trying to be someone new every single day. and just ignoring the version of yourself that you were yesterday or that you are today, because you know that in a week from now, a month from now, a year from now, you're going to be better. And I put that in quotations. we often judge ourselves for where we're at right now. Why am I not further? Why am I not this? Why am I not that? But it's because we're not able to see the big picture yet. But when we go back and we look through the different chapters, we realize that every setback, every little moment, every time we followed through with even something small, that is how we continue to grow. That's the big stuff, honestly. It's everything in between, all of those small chapters, all those seasons of life. And then all of a sudden we get to that big moment at the end. Maybe we ran that marathon or we conceived a beautiful baby. And whatever it may be, it's like if we get to that end journey, we have a whole nother thing that's happening ahead of us. Like a whole nother goal that's going to be happening. And so we're always growing, we're always becoming better versions of ourselves. Let's not forget to be in the present moment. So we're not in this endless cycle of just, got the thing, on to the next. Got the thing, on to the next. It's so much more than just manifesting. It's like everything that happens in between. And then releasing the judgment of, man, I haven't reached where I want to be. So therefore I haven't grown at all, It's like that all or nothing mindset that we often adopt. I have that sometimes in me as well. but I heard this thing the other day and and I wish I knew who had written it so I could give credit, but it asked the question would you change places with The version of you a year ago? And if the answer is no, then there has been growth. Maybe you're not exactly where you wanted to be a year ago, but I guarantee there are ways that you have grown. There are ways that maybe seem small now because you've been working on them every single day, but you wouldn't you wouldn't go back to that version of you a year ago because you know growth has happened. And we need to start celebrating every little bit of growth that we have. So let's do that little perspective shift now on how to measure growth. So oftentimes we want to have these big things happen. And so what happens is once we finally get that big thing to come to fruition, that's when we allow ourselves to feel happy. That's when we allow ourselves to celebrate. That's when we allow ourselves to feel like growth has actually happened. But there are so many other ways than just the physical manifestation that we can measure to be a sign of us progressing. Maybe you're in that straight up middle part of the journey where you literally don't feel like anything has changed. Okay, let's see what we can actually use to measure your growth then. Cause maybe there isn't something physical that has happened yet. I know when I started running, I was like, man. I still can barely run a mile without running out of breath, so I was feeling like there is absolutely no growth happening right now. But then I had a perspective shift and I was like, gosh, the version of me even just three months ago wouldn't be waking up as early as I'm waking up now and even going, like attempting to go on a run. That's growth. The fact that I'm able to be up. And moving at you know eight in the morning when I was sleeping in much later than that, just a few months ago. That's growth. And this appreciation, this gratitude that I have for my body now, that I honestly didn't really think about too much before. It's like how amazing that I can even go out and go on a run. How amazing that my body, like my heart, is able to be pumping. my legs are able to be moving and my body knows what to do, even though it feels so new. Like that is such a beautiful appreciation and the sense of gratitude that washes over me that I didn't have before. So that's something that you can track growth with as well is are you more grateful today than you were yesterday? And if you are, then that's growth. If you are more grateful, if you add in more gratitude into your life every single day, that's growth, Maybe you're working on a journey of weight loss and you have been eating healthier and you've been moving your body, but you're not quite seeing the actual physical results on a scale. Well, maybe these next few meals you send some gratitude into the food and to everything and everyone that played a part in putting all of these ingredients in front of you to make a meal. Maybe you took a few deep breaths before your meal to Allow your nervous system to be able to really rest, which allows you to digest your food easier and allows you to have a sense of presence while you eat. Maybe you've struggled with your eating habits beforehand and just having gratitude for this beautiful meal in front of you is something you've never experienced before, that's growth. It doesn't matter if when you stepped on the scale, it's the same number as before. Yeah, maybe that's not the physical goal that you were going after, but you can't Just make a blanket statement that nothing has changed, that there's been no progress. Because if you're more grateful today than you were yesterday, that is growth. another example that I have is the journey that so many couples have when they begin this beautiful journey of bringing a baby into the world, That's a huge physical manifestation that comes about when you find out that you're pregnant and you get to tell your partner and you tell your friends and you have an actual baby in your womb. That is a beautiful experience. It's one that I'm hoping for so much and I'm praying for and I'm so excited for that journey. And it would be so crazy and so sad if just because that hasn't come into fruition for me yet, I just said that no growth has happened and that this journey is. is not enjoyable. I mean, yes, the waiting is frustrating and can be discouraging, but the person that I am becoming that is getting ready to one day be a mother to someone is the kind of person that is taking care of their body, that is getting their body and their womb ready to welcome a baby when a baby does come. And it just completely changes my identity already. I'm already making decisions for a future child that hasn't even come Earth's side yet. And so what a beautiful unconditional love and relationship that has already begun and it's really showing me more of who I am and I'm grateful for that. So is there a baby yet? No. But does that mean no growth has happened yet? Absolutely not. And so we want to start having these shifts when we are in these middle stages of growth. Especially when we're starting to set new goals as well, When we start setting goals, let's say you want to set a goal for this new season upon us. It can be tempting to just set that one big goal and then just be super excited for that and just to think when that happens, it's gonna be amazing. That's great. But let's set some little markers throughout this journey that kind of keeps the motivation going. How can I be more grateful for this journey? That I even have the capacity, the resources, the means to actually go for this. Like what a beautiful thing that is. And so we can have gratitude, we can release the need to compare from others that already have what we're going after, and just learning to drop into the present moment with who we are today and who we are becoming in this process, because that really is. The juice of the journey. so what happens when we really start to embody this in our life? When we really start to look at the lessons, the things that have happened and start to have real appreciation for every moment of the journey, not just the beginning and not just the end. Well, we start to drop into the present moment and be where our feet are. How often do we think like, man, what happened? How is it already fall? I mean, I still am thinking that right now. Like, how is it already September? How is it already almost October and the holiday season is upon us? Like it really is crazy. And I think part of that is just a universal experience. But it feels so much better to know that at least in this previous season of life, I was present. as much as I possibly could be. I was able to really sit with myself every single day and just be with myself and have coffee with this version of myself every single day. I really view my time in the morning with reverence, with respect and joy and full presence. I have a cup of cacao every single morning and I sit outside and I say a prayer and I deeply think about my intentions that I have for the day or for the week ahead or the month ahead. and I think about, what is it that I want to bring forward? What what is it that I'm working on and I might need some support on. And what is it that I'm gaining clarity on or asking to gain clarity on. And I really pray over this cup of cacao and I do a little bit of Reiki on myself as I sip on it and some breath work. And then I read a good book. And I feel gratitude for the book that I'm reading and the fact that I have the time and the space in the morning to read a good book. And I just think having this presence with myself, it's like I know I got to spend time with myself today, this version of me today. with so many changes happening, I just got married, trying for a baby, just bought a home and adopted a puppy, like all of these. Are asking of me for different versions to continually be born. And I'm surprising myself every single day. But I'm not going to look back and think, man, I wish I would have spent more time with the woman that I was last month or last year. Like that is my fear is that I will let a year go by and just think, wow, I can't even tell you what I was like back then. Like it just went by in a blur. And I don't want that to happen. And so I'm really working on presence now and enjoying the journey every step of the way and celebrating every little thing that happens. Right. Even if I wake up 30 minutes earlier, I'm celebrating that. If I am waking up without snoozing my alarm, I am celebrating that. Maybe that's not the full journey. Like I would love to be someone Who is able to wake up with the sunrise more often than I do and do cacao and a ritual and a ceremony as the sun comes up? I do that a few times a year, but it still is very hard for me to do. And I would love for that to be something that's more that is a daily thing. That would be fantastic, but I'm not there yet. That doesn't mean I'm not going to celebrate the crap out of every single moment. Where I rise out of bed a little bit easier, a little bit earlier, and just see the shift that happens in me when I do something like that. So, what are some things that you can do in order to continue this journey as well? I love journaling. I think it is a fantastic tool to be able to really drop into that stream of consciousness going. I think it's so like easy in meditations to kind of think about, this this came to my mind. But when you are journaling, it's like you're not letting any of those streams of consciousness kind of just float away. You're putting it down on paper, and then you might be surprised at the things that actually come forward as you continue to follow that line of thought. so with journaling, you can ask yourself questions like, how can I be more grateful today? Would you trade places with who you were a year from or who you were a year ago? Like we talked about, that is a great one to kind of get you going and thinking about every little bit of success you've already had, big or small, emphasis on the small. And this kind of just gets you going and starts like a gratitude train for the person that you are today and the person that you became over this past year. and it's also a good time to just set intentions. What is it that you want to call forward this fall? And if there's something big that you're going for, like a big physical manifestation that you want to bring forward, that's beautiful. That is amazing. And also, it's like I started this podcast, that's a really big goal. But it's like I need to celebrate every single episode that I get out, every single time I post about it, every single time I put myself out there. Those are moments too to be celebrated, not just like, I've been podcasting consistently for a year. I would lose motivation if I only thought I found success after doing it consistently for a year. I need to celebrate every single moment, every single piece of it. If you're writing a book, that might be your goal to finish your book by the end of the fall season. Okay, but do you celebrate every time you finish a chapter? Every time you actually sit down and without distraction, maybe your phone's in your other room and you really let yourself write a thousand, ten thousand words or or whatever it is in a session for you. Do you celebrate that? Do you have appreciation for doing that? And then even taking out some of the physical goals too, not taking them out, but adding in some non-physical goals, some emotional goals. maybe you want to laugh more this season. You want to be more grateful for what you already have this season. You want to connect deeper with the friends that you have around you. And you want to make it more of a goal to feel appreciation for your body, Maybe one of your big goals is to exercise more and to gain muscle or lose X amount of pounds or whatever your goal might be physically. Can you add in another goal to have more appreciation and self-love and give yourself more compliments on just who you are every single day right now as you're on this health journey? Because it can be so discouraging when you only have a specific number based goal and you're not there yet. So let's add in some of the energetic goals as well and just see the differences that come from that. and then if you wanna add in a little bit of focus every day with yourself, you can have your cup of coffee or hot tea or cacao or whatever your drink of choice is in the morning. Take a few deep breaths and set a few intentions for how you'd like today to go. And that can be your measure of success for the day. Because on a daily, day-to-day matter, you are probably not gonna see like a big jump of growth towards where you wanna go. But it's that 1%, right? So maybe today, what can you focus on? Maybe you have a really big work presentation coming up. And today you want to make sure that you stay grounded no matter what stressful situation might come up at work or what nervousness comes up. And if you are able to do that, there was growth there, And so that's something that you can do every single morning. So you're present with yourself, you're present with the day ahead and you won't come back to the end of the day and think, wow, like what even happened today? It gives yourself some structure, it gives the energy within you a pathway to take and it's a really beautiful thing. All right, thank you so much for listening. Honestly, it is like I've said before, it's such a joy to be able to just come on here and chat and speak my mind and speak my truth. And I just hope that whatever goals you're going after, you're able to find appreciation for the journey, for the middle part of it. So you have this perspective shift knowing that the story you're creating right now. is so important. It's so beautiful. It is a bestseller. It is a masterpiece. Your life is a masterpiece even in the mundane. It's a beautiful blessing, even just to be here and to be able to be working on goals and to be able to constantly try to be better every single day. And I don't want that blessing to go by without us realizing just how amazing it is to be here, how amazing it is to be a human, to be on this earth, to be in the body that you're in, the life that you're in. even if you're in a season with struggle, even if you're in a harder season of life. I am just sending you so much love. I know it's not easy and I know that it's harder to have moments of gratitude in those moments, but I just ask for you to hold on to the little bits of gratitude that you can find every single day. Even if it's the fact that, you were able to take a long hot shower today. that is a beautiful experience. That is a moment of joy that you got to have and maybe it's that you read a really good book. That is a beautiful thing that you got to do today. And it's just like that ripple effect again. It's like that person set that goal to write a beautiful story and they followed through with it because I'm sure that it wasn't an easy journey. they ended up continuing to go through it and not letting the middle part get them down and they push through and now they're able to give that story to so many other people. And you're able to grab that book and have gratitude for the author, have gratitude for this 10, 20 minutes that you have to read that book, or have gratitude for the person that recommended you this book, and now you go on and recommend it to somebody else. It's like there's just this beautiful synchronistic experience, and we all have gratitude for every little experience that we get to have on this life, this one beautiful life that we were given. And yeah, thank you so much for listening. I'm sending you so, so much love. Please always feel free to DM me on Instagram. My Instagram is energy with Alex. And just let me know what goals you are working on and how else you're going to track your growth too. All right, sending you so much love. Bye. Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of the Energy with Alex podcast. If you loved this conversation, it would mean so much if you could share it with your community and like, rate, and subscribe to the podcast so that I can continue having these incredible conversations every single week. I will see you next Thursday.