Latest / Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul / Ep 5 | Softening the Story: Compassion, Sensitivity and Awakening

Transcript

Ep 5 | Softening the Story: Compassion, Sensitivity and Awakening · Rise & Realign: Conversations for the Sensitive Soul

0:01
Welcome to Rise and Realign, conversations for
0:05
the sensitive soul. I'm Melissa, and this space
0:09
is for those of us who feel deeply, love fiercely,
0:13
and sense the world in ways that are hard to
0:17
explain, but impossible to ignore. Ah, well.
0:27
Today has been quite an interesting day for me
0:32
personally. And just to really be authentic in
0:41
what I share is I really feel as though my life's
0:51
journey has been a culmination of you know, what
0:58
fascinates me about life and what calls me forward,
1:03
you know, and what frustration arises or what
1:11
friction I experience and a way to reflect on
1:17
that as a highly sensitive woman, right? I mean,
1:24
a we have this depth of processing so we have
1:28
this ability to really reflect on our experiences
1:34
and in a holistic manner you know um i'm aware
1:42
that you know earlier in my life there was a
1:46
lot more of, you know, reflecting from my mind,
1:50
you know, and the stories that it was creating
1:54
around how could somebody do that, you know,
1:57
like this lack of understanding. And I believe,
2:01
you know, I talked about this a little bit last
2:04
episode, right, just about how judgment comes
2:08
up when we don't understand how somebody's doing
2:12
something that they're doing. And that's something
2:17
that has really, you know, invited me to dig
2:24
deeper. Like, well, what is it about that? You
2:28
know, like, why is that person doing what they're
2:32
doing? You know, and to really come from a place
2:35
of deep curiosity. right? And not only concern
2:41
for somebody else's pain, because once we come
2:45
to understand that, you know, what we might call
2:50
hurt, you know, like, why would someone hurt
2:54
somebody else? But it's because they're hurting
2:57
inside, right? So to really flip the script on
3:07
You know, well, how could they do that? Right.
3:10
Where we're thinking, how could they do that
3:11
to me? How could I have this experience with
3:16
that person? Right. Like I can really see how
3:19
we would come from that place of this person
3:24
is behaving that way towards me. This is happening
3:27
to me. Right. It's all about ourself. And that's
3:31
a certain, you know, period of our development.
3:34
And there's no specific, you know, timeframe
3:38
or age that we can really say that belongs to
3:41
because, you know, really developmentally, we
3:45
all are developing in so many different areas.
3:49
at different paces right and there's nothing
3:53
wrong with that because we all have different
3:55
in a sense life lessons right or soul curriculum
3:59
that we're living through so this is really speaking
4:04
to um you know the honoring that we're all on
4:09
our own very unique paths and what we're here
4:13
to experience right to live and learn and grow
4:17
through um is different but I really I feel so
4:24
much gratitude for being on the side of more
4:29
awareness right a more expanded understanding
4:32
of okay this person's not doing something to
4:37
me I'm having this experience with this other
4:42
person But they're having their own experience,
4:47
right? And so when we can really look at it like,
4:51
okay, I only know what it feels like to be me.
4:56
I only know the thoughts that are swirling around
5:00
in my mind. You know, I only know what it feels
5:04
like to be in my body. I don't know what it feels
5:07
like to be that other person. I don't know what
5:09
they're experiencing. I don't know what they've
5:11
lived through. And when we can start to see the
5:16
connection that we have with each other's humanity,
5:20
right? Like just that we can't know what it's
5:24
like to be someone else. We can't know what it
5:27
feels like to be them. And we can't know why
5:30
they're doing what they're doing. But we can
5:34
have compassion. We can allow ourselves to soften
5:39
and and hold space for that person. Now that
5:45
doesn't mean that we accept behavior that's harmful
5:49
right towards ourself. I'm not speaking to that.
5:53
We obviously are also all developing the ability
5:57
to have discernment and clear clear parameters
6:03
around what we allow in our lives right what
6:07
is acceptable to us and what is you know crossing
6:11
a line where it's not okay for us and that's
6:14
really important that's about honoring our ourselves
6:18
right being true to ourselves um But when we
6:22
can really come to understand that everybody
6:25
has their own stories, right? And when we can
6:30
understand that unprocessed emotions, you know,
6:34
unprocessed experiences, we carry them forward.
6:41
You know, I often tell clients it's like having
6:44
a brick in a backpack, right? we're either pressured
6:49
for time, right? Like tons of times when I'd
6:52
be like, you know, we'd go, go through an experience
6:55
and be like, I got to get to work, you know,
6:57
like I can't deal with this now, you know? And
7:01
of course, a lot of us, you know, have been raised
7:03
in a culture that says, You leave your personal
7:06
stuff at the door, you just walk in and you do
7:09
the job you're there to do, right? But again,
7:11
that's not honoring the wholeness of who we are.
7:14
And that's really treating us like we're machines
7:17
and we're not machines. We are whole beings,
7:20
mind, body, and soul. And, you know, we're all
7:24
in this together. We're all living on the planet
7:27
together. So the more we can soften, right? And
7:32
realize like, okay. everybody's walking around
7:36
with their own backpacks filled with a variety
7:39
of sized bricks or rocks right or weights however
7:43
you want to conceptualize it but the more we
7:48
can realize like things are happening yes but
7:54
they're not happening to us in the sense that
7:57
we usually develop the idea that something's
8:04
happening to us and and that's when we can also
8:06
you know it kind of feeds into those negative
8:09
thought pattern loops that we inherit from you
8:13
know our culture our our family right our ancestors
8:16
um so what i'm really talking to again is about
8:23
this awakening process that each of us goes through
8:27
at our own stage at our own pace you know and
8:33
for some it's really young and I feel so blessed
8:38
and honored to you know have a child who is able
8:44
to live his life with the awareness that some
8:49
things are old patterns that he never said yes
8:53
to, but that he received from me, from his dad,
8:57
from, you know, his siblings, right? Like the
9:00
others that were around him, grandparents, right?
9:04
But also that he inherited from, you know, people
9:08
he's never met. But the more we can start to,
9:12
again, soften into what is someone else going
9:18
through and how can we soften into our own ability
9:25
to say, okay, this didn't feel good, right? Like
9:30
that, that word, that action, um, that definitely
9:34
caused me to feel upset or whatever you may describe
9:39
it as. But to also use it as an opportunity to
9:44
reflect a little bit, right? And be like, I wonder
9:47
what led that person to choose that behavior.
9:51
Did they really choose that behavior? Or is that
9:54
their own subconscious programming repeating?
9:59
Now, I know this is not the easiest thing for
10:02
everybody to understand, but I... again, my audience
10:05
is those who are highly sensitive, right? I mean,
10:09
this podcast is called Rise and Realign Conversations
10:13
for the Sensitive Soul because we are the ones
10:16
who really have this ability to process things
10:21
in a deeper way. Our thoughts, our experiences,
10:25
our feelings, the sensations in our body, right?
10:29
Sensing the subtleties that others don't notice
10:32
as early as we do. And again, I'm always reminded
10:38
of what my daughter, you know, has said, which
10:40
is, you know, the point is we're not superior
10:44
because we have this sensory intelligence. Because
10:48
believe me, I've lived it and I know plenty of
10:50
people who live with it. And do not experience
10:53
it as a gift or something positive in any way.
10:59
Which is why I feel really called to continue
11:03
to speak about this trait. Because, again, it's
11:06
not well understood. It's often, you know, brushed
11:10
to the side, misunderstood completely, right?
11:15
Like if somebody thinks that the word highly
11:17
sensitive is... again, something other than the
11:21
sensory processing sensitivity trait, right?
11:25
Which speaks to the more finely tuned central
11:28
nervous system that we have, right? Then they're
11:31
not grasping the wholeness of what it is. And
11:35
we have more mirror neurons, right? We have the
11:38
ability to really sense what someone else is
11:42
feeling before they may even have the words to
11:45
describe it. And again, I've often referred to
11:50
it as a gift, but it's not necessarily a gift
11:53
for people who, again, depending on their upbringing,
11:58
right? Our childhood experiences play a big part
12:02
in how much it's impacting our livelihood, right?
12:07
Our health and our happiness. Because as sensitive
12:11
beings, you know, it is important to have a supportive,
12:15
loving environment, you know, people who care
12:18
and respond well. So being raised in an environment
12:23
where it's not meeting your basic needs for feeling
12:28
safe, for feeling loved and supported, you know,
12:31
it can be a whole lot more challenging, for sure.
12:35
And my heart goes out to each and every one who
12:39
has the trait or doesn't have the trait and you
12:44
know didn't receive that kind of love and support
12:48
and care from the very beginning of life because
12:52
that's so important you know we're we're designed
12:56
to to connect with others we're designed to support
13:01
and love one another um but so many things have
13:06
created a divide you know between us and you
13:12
know whether that's talking about our institutions
13:14
you know our organizations or governments or
13:18
you know whatever labels we want to identify
13:22
them as but the idea that we are not whole beings
13:27
you know that we have a separate mind and a separate
13:30
body right or sometimes people don't even um
13:35
know their connection to their own true essence
13:39
right and and again i'm not here to judge anybody
13:42
because believe me i grew up with a catholic
13:45
education but i didn't ever feel really connected
13:50
to it where it made sense to me um it just felt
13:55
like this is part of my conditioning like this
13:58
is part of what i was born into this is part
14:00
of my culture right this is what i do as someone
14:04
who's catholic um but when i had my own spontaneous
14:11
you know spiritual awakening or non -dual awakening
14:18
is another way to frame it um it was not a religious
14:22
experience it had no language that equated to
14:27
well i shouldn't say it that way that's not true
14:29
um i'll just say that awakening revealed um an
14:35
eternal and abundant connection um to all that
14:41
is so the word god has had different meanings
14:46
for me and ways of relating because of my catholic
14:51
education and all of the the newer um religious
14:55
uh practices and philosophies that i explored
15:00
um but at the heart of it right it's understanding
15:07
that we're not separate we're not separate within
15:11
ourself and we're not separate from each other
15:14
even though we have an individuated identity
15:18
and experience right we're still all part of
15:23
this one source whether we call it god um you
15:28
know quantum field universal intelligence source
15:35
right there's so many different ways mother goddess
15:39
there's so many different ways of describing
15:42
it but when we understand that it's flowing to
15:46
and through all of us. We just weren't all raised
15:51
in a way to tune us into it. That's been a big
15:55
part of what has separated us from ourself and
15:59
source and from each other. Now again, to bring
16:05
it back into more practical everyday terms, because
16:09
I know that's really important and that's something
16:11
that I've learned you know, I needed to bridge,
16:16
right? Like I pre awakening was very much rooted
16:21
in the material plane only. I only understood
16:25
my physical, you know, attributes, the physical
16:28
reality that I could see, taste, touch all of
16:31
that. Um, I knew nothing really of the spirit
16:36
realm other than the limited Catholic education.
16:39
Um, but Once that spontaneous and non -dual awakening
16:47
occurred, it opened me up to such beauty and
16:52
benevolence and love and bliss that really my
16:56
life became about what was that and how do I
17:01
connect with that some more. So that's been going
17:05
on for 17 years now. I definitely feel like being
17:12
a highly sensitive woman on this path. has helped
17:16
me dive into understanding more about our connection
17:21
right like what makes those of us who are highly
17:24
sensitive a little bit different and again not
17:28
superior because there is that differential susceptibility
17:32
that i was mentioning earlier whereas if our
17:35
childhood upbringing was you know good enough
17:38
in the sense that we did feel loved and cared
17:41
for and supported then that gave us a good foundation.
17:45
But those who were raised in unsupported childhood
17:52
experiences, they're likely going to have a more
17:59
difficult time. But it doesn't mean that you
18:02
can't rise up out of those early experiences.
18:06
And there are plenty of amazing individuals who
18:12
speak about their very traumatic early upbringings
18:17
and how those experiences have really transformed
18:24
them. And when I listen to them, you know, or
18:28
have throughout, you know, these last almost
18:31
two decades, you know, I sense that these are,
18:35
you know, very sensitive beings who were able
18:39
to You know, take that depth of caring, you know,
18:43
that really deep love, you know, and have that
18:49
transform those past experiences, right? Like
18:54
that fire of, you know, what we might call anger
19:00
or frustration or friction, you know. from the
19:06
pain right um was transformed and turned into
19:11
a beautiful love and desire to help others to
19:16
to heal and see things in a new light and you
19:21
know that's what i feel that this podcast is
19:26
really here for is just for me to be one voice
19:30
that shares um from my lived experience and perspective
19:36
that, you know, being highly sensitive, you know,
19:40
being in that minority of people who, you know,
19:44
care so deeply, right. Who are the providers
19:49
for their loved ones and, you know, willing to
19:53
just be so overly generous and give. it's a time
20:02
to wake up from it though because what i've been
20:05
noticing is a lot of us have been abandoning
20:10
ourselves to meet the needs of others and that's
20:15
not healthy or sustainable for us and many of
20:24
the women that you know i have the honor of walking
20:28
the path with you know they can, they can see
20:32
that, but that it's not the easiest pattern to
20:37
walk out of. And what I've noticed is, you know,
20:41
when we have a more finely tuned central nervous
20:44
system, right? Like we can be in that chronic
20:47
sympathetic stress mode, right? I used to describe
20:51
myself as high strung and we need to create space
20:57
where we can breathe. where we can start to feel
21:02
more connected to our body and the sensations
21:04
that arise in our more sensitive body and to
21:09
then also see the patterns. And so it takes a
21:16
commitment and it's not a one -time commitment
21:20
and then we're there forever. And that's where
21:23
I really find that, you know, My consistency
21:29
with speaking to the heart of sensitive women
21:33
is really so important. It's my calling because
21:37
I've been guided to wake up and to see from so
21:43
many different angles and to learn discernment
21:47
and to learn. about how to realign over and over
21:53
again with our true and authentic voice and our
21:57
true essence, right? That it's not like we do
22:00
it once and we're there. Believe me, I wish it
22:03
was because it felt so peaceful and beautiful
22:07
and loving when I had that awakening. But it's
22:12
something that requires our commitment, right?
22:17
refocus to realign um because it is a spiral
22:22
it's not a linear path you know we do revisit
22:26
the same experiences we we get to see it from
22:29
a new vantage point and our nervous system is
22:34
looking to feel safe enough to feel you know
22:40
what's coming up and that takes practice takes
22:46
understanding and i'm not sure that that there
22:51
are enough who are really understanding the highly
22:58
sensitive women specifically and i'm talking
23:02
the women who maybe you know on this scale of
23:07
sensitivity right some are way experiencing a
23:11
higher um level of it in a sense um And it really
23:18
doesn't depend on the age. I do hear a lot more
23:21
recently about, oh, once you're in perimenopause
23:24
or menopause, then you're feeling sensitive.
23:27
And it's like, there's absolutely shifts that
23:30
we go through, through perimenopause and menopause.
23:33
That's beautiful. But I also have the honor of
23:39
supporting women in their early 20s who are also
23:44
waking up. out of the old conditioning and the
23:48
old behaviors and they also feel like, you know,
23:55
they're doing it alone, because they're the first
23:58
in their family, they're the first in their group
24:01
of friends, they may, again, may not be the only
24:04
sensitive one, because we're often inclined to
24:07
connect more with others who are more like us
24:10
in that way, because we do feel safer and, and
24:14
more understood at times. And we enjoy deep conversations,
24:18
right? But I just want to be clear. It doesn't
24:24
matter what age we are. This awakening is happening
24:29
and I'm here to walk that path with other sensitive
24:35
women because I definitely felt as though I walked
24:40
it with some support. but not support in the
24:47
sense who really got what I was experiencing,
24:49
who really understood what I needed to explain.
24:59
So this is for each of you out there who just
25:04
feel like you're waking up to, you know, some
25:07
patterns that you're really... you're really
25:12
ready to see that there's a whole new world out
25:15
there that you are not taught or exposed to and
25:20
that your own heart, you know, is letting you
25:24
know that there's something so much greater than
25:27
you have been believing, right? And it's important
25:31
to understand that those subconscious programs
25:33
that we received in our childhood and that we
25:37
just continue to pick up along our trails, like,
25:41
That's what our reality gets created from, those
25:43
beliefs. And when we're ready to say, I want
25:47
something different, like that's the time to
25:52
connect with others who are also, you know, feeling
25:57
that shift of there's something so much greater.
26:01
And I want to walk with others who are doing
26:05
that. I just want to wrap this up by saying,
26:10
you know, you're not alone. And if you'd like
26:14
to understand what's going on in your world,
26:18
in the sense of what you are thinking and feeling
26:22
in your body and, you know, what others are doing
26:28
or not doing, depending on what it is exactly,
26:31
you know, and you're just wondering, like, why
26:35
is this happening? to me right like if you're
26:38
ready to shift the narrative of of how things
26:42
are happening to you and more understand how
26:46
things are happening within you and around you
26:51
then i just want you to know i'm here and you're
26:55
welcome to sign up for the rise and realign lunar
26:59
letter which is um a weekly um email that I send
27:06
out letting you know, you know, what's going
27:08
on in the moon. Um, because as sensitive women,
27:12
you know, the moon is a rhythm that we want to
27:15
attune to. Um, and to just know that, you know,
27:22
there's ways to connect with me and, you know,
27:25
there's, there's a lot of resources out there
27:28
and what's important is what resonates for you.
27:31
Um, Because you deserve support. You deserve
27:35
understanding. You deserve to be held where you
27:42
are and not forced or pushed to grow or move
27:48
in directions that don't align with who you are
27:51
and your natural rhythm. You really deserve to
27:54
be attuned to what's best for you, your heart
27:59
and your soul. I wish you a wonderful rest of
28:07
your day. And I want to remind you, your breath
28:11
is your bridge. So take that deep inhale through
28:15
your nose and another inhale and then exhale
28:19
out your mouth and just release whatever tension
28:25
you've been carrying. And again, allow yourself
28:28
to do at least two more. I call it the health
28:34
sigh, you know, that's us aligning with health
28:37
and releasing what's not ours to carry. All right.
28:43
Until next time, peace and blessings. Be well.